SWE: Online Dating Lies

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them.

In a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's got a hair her standard.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcasts, check out our blogs, videos, and sign up for our mailing list and our RSS feed. We would appreciate that you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel, which is Sex with Emily. At YouTube and Twitter is Emily Morse M O R S E and Facebook. I have a fan page. Sex with with Emily. That's what I got to tell you.

Hey, Menace, how you doing?

I'm good. How are you, Producer Menis?

I'm great. What's been going on with you?

I've Just been, you know, I've been working. The usual stuff. Yeah.

Sex.

I've not had sex yet, but I am very ready to end the Manatorium. I'm going to get that into a minute. Today's show, we're going to be reading your emails that you sent to feedbackexwithemily.com topics or you might have also sent to my Facebook page, which is Emily Hope Morse. So it's Emily Morse. Emilyhope Morse. Topics include hand jobs, of course. Should you get back together with an ex? Dating a friend, Sexy lingerie. Does it really matter? Are you gay? If you have a threesome with two guys and a woman? Sex and pregnancy and online dating tips. And we're gonna get into some online dating tips at the end. Cause I know a lot of you are dating online. And we're also doing three shows a week. So that's very exciting.

It is very exciting. People seem to like it already, right?

I know. So I'm good. I'm getting ready to end the Manatorium, as I said. And I realized, like, I started to look at my own life and I thought, how am I going to. What am I going to do? You know, I'm always preaching to people. You got to put yourself out there. You got to like really prime those muscles. Prime those flirting muscles, those dating muscles. And then I'm looking up last night, it's 8:30 and I'm at the gym and I go to the gayest gym in San Francisco.

Let me guess, hold on, is it Gold's Gym?

Yes, it's Gold's Gym.

I hear about. That's the gay hangout.

It is such a gay hangout that I've lived here for so many years and that every gay person I've. And this is not, this is not an over exaggeration. Every single gay friend that I have or gay person that I've ever come in contact in San Francisco in the years I've been here, I've run into at this gym and they're all hot and buff and I'm. And I forget. I found myself. Like, I went there last night because I go there to watch TV because I don't have a TV, but I watch 30 Rock when I'm on the StairMaster and I watch the Office, which is hilarious. I know that everyone else in the world knows that right now that those shows are funny, but I never watch tv. So anyway, I'm sitting there and I'm going, oh my God, he's so hot. Like, I forget how unbelievably Hot these men are. And that they're not. These are not.

They're not interested.

It's weird to be somewhere with so many hot men that aren't checking you out either. It's a strange phenomenon.

It's weird though, but in San Francisco, I'm trying to think of the people that say, what is not the gay gym?

No, I know it's true, because San Francisco is a gay town.

But I think maybe the Bay Club.

The Bay. I used to go there.

Or the tennis club. I know a lot of guys that go to the tennis club. They seem to get some action okay.

Because that's a good place to meet people. I was thinking, I was like, this is not happening for me at my gym. Not gonna happen. But I'm okay with that. And then this week, I mean, so I've been thinking a lot about, like my life and my plan and the dating and all that stuff since I'm really ready. Like even coming home from the gym last night, I was looking at this couple sitting in a car and they were making out. Like, you could tell it was like their first date. And she was like looking at him and then he leaned over and I was like, oh, I want a first date. Haven't had that in a while. So it feels like I'm naturally ready now to end it. And I was being interviewed. So Bravo TV called me and they're interested in me doing a show possibly. So I interviewed with them for half hour. We did a Skype one on one interview. And so get this. They're doing a dating show about. They want a few women from all over the United States who are dating in relationship and sex experts, and they want us to follow them dating their dating path. So they're asking me all these questions. So like, I'm on camera. I'm on. It was a Skype interview. And they're like, so do you follow your own dating advice? And I started thinking about it. I'm like, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I date the person I shouldn't date. Or sometimes I do things, you know, I was just really interested. I'm like, I need to follow my advice. Not that I don't always, but there are certain things that.

Yeah, I think a lot of times you don't.

Like when. When have I not.

I don't know, like almost every time.

Like the guys I date, which just simply are not right for me.

Yes.

Yeah, I know. I think we all do that. I think we all don't. But I tried. I think I'm A lot better than I would have been had I not become this dating expert, if you will. So we'll see what happens with that.

I love the women that say, I'm tired of dating jerks, and then their next boyfriend is a jerk.

I know.

All right?

I know. And I'm tired of just dating guys that I know. I'm, like, just ridiculous. Like, I just. The things that I. Because you're attracted to them for a reason, and you think you're gonna like him, and it's just not gonna work. So I'm not gonna date guys that are inappropriate.

Good.

And I have to give a shout out to all the lesbians listening, because I got a tweet, a tweet from a woman who said, you got to give us a shout out. So I am. She's like. She's like, lesbians love you. So I'm giving him a shout out.

So funny, because I always have these. I have these two lesbians that come to my house all the time, and I decided it was my roommate's cousins, but they're actually a couple.

Oh, you didn't know?

I should just say, oh, it's my cousins, but I didn't know they were a couple. And I think it's awesome.

That is awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they're very loving. And then I figured out why they're.

Always touching, why they're so loving. You thought they were just, like, loving cousins.

I thought they were just, like, you know, they're family. Whatever.

Aw, that's sweet. I didn't know, like, your family's really, really close.

Yeah.

Something's wrong with this picture. So. Yeah. How's your week?

My week is good. I actually haven't had time to have sex or, like, any of my free time. I do a show with another woman, too.

You're hooking up with her.

I am not.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are menace. Okay, if you follow menace on Twitter, which is white menace. Yeah, you like. Every night I'm with my girl Megan, we're watching a movie. You're totally hooking up with her.

I'm not hooking up with her. On my life, I am not. So that's why I haven't been hooking up with anybody, because I've been. All my spare time, I've been hanging out with Megan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honey, when do guys hang out with girls all the time when they don't want to sleep with them. You are contradicting yourself.

No, but the thing is, you don't.

Have to tell me.

I Do a radio show with her. So I'm not gonna have sex with her.

Honey, you do a radio show with me. We've never watched a movie because you're.

Off going to stupid wine freaking events and stuff like that.

When have I gone to a wine event lately? I don't know. I go to the gay gym.

You go to stupid events that. Things that I would never go to.

Uh huh. I'm a little envious.

I would never go to Napa in my life. Like that place sucks. Like I'm not gonna go there.

Like I'm not like hella Jessica, my content producer sitting here. She is from n. Not very nice.

Jessica, but I'm just not a type of guy that's going to be out in the freaking wine country.

I understand. I don't, you know, honey, and they don't want you in the wine country.

Good.

Okay.

I don't want to be there.

That's good.

But that's the type of places you go. And I don't go to places like that.

I do not always go to nap. I don't leave. I go.

Are you going to come with me to a bar on the Hate on Haight Street? Yes.

What do you think? Yeah, all the time. I go. I go to bars in the Hate. Yeah, I go to bars on Divis.

Which one?

All of them.

Yeah, name one.

I can't at this moment. All right, people, the Hate's been around forever.

Let's drop it already. I am not hooking up with the other girls on my show. I swear to God.

Okay?

On everything.

Because. Because you're. Because you did say on your Twitter last night, like, I haven't been home in days.

Yeah.

And then the night before you're like hanging out. So you sleep at her house?

Yeah, I sleep at our households. I might move into her house.

Is that a good idea? If you guys are hooking up, just move in.

We're not hooking up. We're not hooking up. I swear to God.

Don't you love that? I'm the one who's calling you on it. And it's probably true. I know it's true.

We can call her right now.

Fine, call her. Call her.

Oh my God. Okay, here we go. Hold on. We'll call it right now.

Hello?

Megan.

Hey, Megan.

Hello.

Hi, it's Emily and Menace. You're on sex with Emily right now. Oh.

How's it going?

It's good. I'm really good. How are you? I have a question for you. Good. I think that you and Menace are hooking up.

You think that Menace and I are hooking up?

Yeah. Or he wants to or you want to? No. Come on, sweetie. He's sleeping at your house. I've been there. I've had guy friends, you know. I've been doing a show with Menace for five years. He's never slept in my house.

No. We're blood, man. That guy's like my dad.

So you guys share a bed?

No.

So he sleeps on your couch?

Yeah, he sleeps on my couch.

Do you guys want. Do you guys flirt though? I mean.

No.

Okay. I don't know, Megan. I just. I just feel like men and women hanging out. Menace tweeted last night at like 2am he hasn't been home in days. And the night before and the night before and the night before he was with you watching a movie. Like, you guys work together. You think after work, like Menace and I, you should see us when we're done recording. We're like, see ya. Have a good weekend. Menace doesn't hang out with me.

I spend like every like weekday with her. Monday through Friday and we get off work.

All the more reason to spend more time with me because you only see me once a week. Megan. I think I'm jealous. Megan. No. Anyway, I just wanted to. I just wanted to. I feel like you guys are and you're not telling me, but that's cool.

I swear to God, like she's gonna.

Tell me right now.

I just went on a date and I'm asking for advice and all that good stuff. Now we're just like, you know, he lives like super far station, you know, and I live pretty close. I'm just like, leave my house and go to work in the morning.

You know, it's convenient. Yeah, it sounds really convenient. Just have him sleep over whenever. Yeah, okay. Thanks, Megan. I appreciate it. Thanks for kind. I don't know how I feel about that, but Megan, I appreciate me. Why would you tell me, who am I? We'll talk later. Megan, I'm gonna call you later and you'll give me the real deal. Okay? Have a good day. Night. Bye. She's a cutie pie. She sat in here once.

Yeah, she is.

I know. Okay, let's. Let's get into some mail, all right, that people have sent to Feedback at sex with emily.com. hey, Emily. Well, my name is Orey and I'm from Israel, 30 years old and married. I've been listening to your show for some time now and I just want to tell you your show is great. I love Listening to you and Menace, keep on the great show. You have fans in Israel about what you talked about last episode. Well, Mena said there are vaginas that are ugly and I don't think so. For me, if the girl is not good looking, well, I probably won't go for her vagina. But if the girl looks great, no vagina will be left alone. I don't think a guy should go for this spot in the first time or over the first five minutes. But after a while I would go down for the vagina and pleasure her as best as I can. Okay, okay. I'm kind of a vagina guy. Anyway, great show Orey. Thanks Orey. Shout out to Israel. Love Israel.

I'm still looking for that vagina chart. The guy that posted it, he couldn't find it either so I'm still trying to find it so you can have for the website for sex with Emily.

Menace, you insulted vaginas all around. People are offended all around the world having protest.

I'm sorry but there's many different types of vaginas out there. Not every single one is beautiful.

But Ori had a good point. If he's attracted to a woman, he's going to like her vagina and if he's unattracted to her, that's not going to be a vagina that he goes for. Which I guess makes sense.

I guess so.

Okay. Thanks Dorie. Okay. I've recently rekindled a relationship Dear Emily, recently rekindled a relationship with a girl, Leah that I've had a great connection with. She makes me laugh and we've had a fair bit in common. We were together a number of months ago, but I broke up with her then because I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. The problem I've been discussing with my ex fiance Sharon over previous week's idea of getting back together. After over eight years together this relationship came to an end mostly as a result of getting stuck in a Ruth communication breakdown and also the pressure of an upcoming wedding made things especially challenging. My ex fiance has been in another relationship until very recently and she and I have both agreed that she needs some time on our own. But now that I'm in this relationship with Leah, this feels like with Leah. I've told Sharon about my relationship with Leah and now I feel an insane amount of turmoil and confusion about having made the right decision and losing any chance I had to build a relationship with Sharon as we both love each other. On the flip side, I like Leah a great deal. I'd love to get your input. I know this isn't focused on sex, but having listened to your show, I value your opinion. Sign Jordan. Okay, Jordan, here's the deal. So you're dating this girl Leah, and you have commitment issues, it sounds like, because you were with your fiance for eight years. And we always tend to glorify the person we broke up with. So I would say you probably broke up with Sharon for a reason. And Sharon's dating someone else right now. And Leah, it sounds like you like this Leah. And we always tend to get tantalized by our ex. And I don't think that's necessarily the right route to go. I would stay with Leah or I'd break up with Leah, and I don't know that I would try again with Sharon. And if you do try again with Sharon, I would take it very, very slow. I wouldn't jump back into it because again, we tend to put our exes on a pedestal. Right. So you break up with them and you remember the really good sex. Unless they were horrible, like they did really bad things to you. You remember the sex or you remember the good things? I remember that time we went up to Napa, for example, and so now he's like, oh, it's been eight years. And now I'm with this girl Leah, you know, So I just think eight years they gave it a good try. Who knows? Things can happen. But if you. I would not dump Lee to get back together with Sharon who's in a relationship with someone else. This just doesn't sound to me like a win win situation.

Yeah. And you're breaking rules about talking about your exes or talking about other relationships.

I'm sorry, what do you mean?

I think that always ruins or screws up your current relationship. You're always talking about.

Well, he's not telling Leah that he's true, but he's still thinking it's true. I'm going. I always hang out with my exes and it is sort of makes things foggy.

Yeah.

Although I'm going to my ex's cabin this weekend with a bunch of people. But we broke up five years ago. We're still. We're still really good friends and we don't sleep together.

Uh huh. Okay.

We have. But yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, I don't know.

Jordan lies.

I'm not lying. Honey pot, kettle, black.

I'm not lying. I swear to God. I have never done anything with Megan on my life, on everything.

I wish you guys could see his face.

I would stop doing this podcast if I. If I was lying, I'll take a lie detector. I am not lying.

Okay, that's fine. So anyway, so I just think. Yeah. And if you do. Yeah. I'm not saying you don't still love Sharon, but maybe you go back and you communicate and. Don't jump into anything right now, Jordan, because it sounds like you're very confused, and that is not the time that you make commitments. Hi, Emily. I love your show and love you. I've listened to you since your radio days, but I have a comment about your hand job discussions. I'm totally all in caps with menace. Women cannot give handjobs. I've been with some very beautiful and talented women who have tried, but nobody has been able to get me there. Even my wife of several years can't do it. She comes close, but no dice. It's gotten to the point that I don't even want to give myself a hand job. I've tried to do it several times since I heard your podcast, but just lays there. Jacking off is my favorite hobby since I was 16. But now I'm looking for a new hobby. What do I do now? Do you think my wiener is broken? Hurt? Did I ruin your wiener because I talked about angels?

Probably.

I feel bad.

Ruined a lot of wieners.

I probably. I used to be called a man eater. Do you think that's what it means? Do I think your wiener is broken? No, I think that you're psychologically in your head way too much right now. By me saying to give a hand job. No, I'm saying I think that now he's thinking about it too much. I think a lot of times men have sexual dysfunction, you know, they can't get it up or they can't stay hard long enough. And I think that men, a lot of times it is a psychological thing that he's like, I'm not gonna get hard. I'm not gonna get hard. And then he's not gonna get hard. But I'm sorry that your wife isn't that good at giving a hand job.

It was so funny.

And Menace likes that you agree with him. You should see him grinning ear to ear.

I tweeted out this week about, if you want something done right, you just have to do it yourself. And then somebody replies back, yeah, especially with hand jobs. Right?

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, exactly. With hand jobs, the hand job debate carries on. Okay. Dear Emily, a few months ago, my friend who's a girl got her heart broken by her boyfriend. Then days later, I told her That I like her as more than a friend. She accepted it and nothing really changed. Then a week or two later, I asked her if she wanted to go out and she lightly rejected me. But we're still friends. What's interesting is that she said she liked me, too. She just doesn't want to go out now. We're stronger friends than ever. I'm not sure. Should I have asked her to go out with me and should I try again? Sign Nabil. No, I would say she has spoken. You asked her out, she said no. She said she liked you, and you have that in quotes here. I'd say she's just sent that into you right now, and I would just continue your friendship and it might be like menace one day. You just fall into bed with each other. No, but really, I wouldn't ask her again. If you asked her and she said no, and you've already asked her and she's just getting over another guy who broke her heart, I would say that you would be rebound and just kind of stick to friendship right now. Play it cool.

No, just play some games. Go date somebody hotter than her or ask somebody out and it'll just get her jealous and. And then she'll want to go out with you. That's how. Easy. Easy fix right there.

Easy, honey. That doesn't always happen.

It works.

Works in medicine's world. Don't you love the medicine? I live in two different planets and we're giving you advice. It's funny. No, but it's true. It is true that. No, Nabil, tell me that strategy wouldn't.

Has never worked, ever.

I didn't like a guy, he asked me out, and then he started dating someone else and I wanted him. No, not. No, I'd like you.

But I'm just saying, has anybody that you've observed.

Definitely. It ups your ante if you. It ups. You know, if you are interested into a guy and then he starts dating someone else, he looks suddenly more attractive. I agree. There's a certain validation, like, oh, and especially if the woman's hot. You're like, oh, she thought he was hot. I mean, I guess there have been some men that I haven't gone out with, and then now they're, you know, they're with someone and I'm like, God, she's really cool. Why didn't I like him? Yeah, but it didn't make me want to go out with them, per se. Hey, Emily. Menace. I was listening to the last latest episode, and I think it was quite hilarious that Menace was Skeptical about the backdoor sex tips. I also think it's too dangerous to just dive into someone's anus with your tongue, as you might be surprised in a bad way.

That's what I'm saying.

Maybe you shouldn't stick your finger inside, but you should do some investigating first. By the way, Menace, if you do happen to have anal sex with Emily.

If you do happen to have anal sex with Emily, keep in mind you have to dive head in first. And it sounds like she may just return the favor. Love listening to the show.

Michael, I just didn't get your tips. Why you. The tip said put. Put your tongue there instead of your finger first. I didn't. I think it should have been the other way around.

Whatever. We're. We're.

Yes, that's the part I didn't.

Okay, got it. I mean, I think either. Either or finger first. I think that you could put your finger there first or your. Either one.

Which one do you prefer?

I've had both, I think, historically, and I don't like, really like. I don't have them ranked.

The person that would be doing that, I say go finger first instead of.

And not all the way. Like lightly touch it, but don't lick.

I don't know. I don't know. I still.

I love that. By the way, if you happen to have sex with Emily, he's. Menace is already seeing his other radio chick. Hi, Emily. J. Menis. I just want to voice my opinion on the whole brown panties thing. I heard mentioned a few shows back. I personally take the view that they do matter a lot, as while the sight of a naked woman is beautiful, seeing a woman in some sexy underwear is far more erotic and beautiful in equal measure. But that's just my opinion. Keep up the awesome work, Oliver. Thanks, Oliver. I think more men should appreciate the lingerie. We've said this before, and I just feel like I wear the cutest little things, like you should pay attention to them. And I walk around in my little underwear and there's. Some guys just don't pay attention. They just want to rip. You're not into it.

Yeah, I don't care.

Not even like the cute little boy shorts?

I mean. Yeah, I think that's what I prefer. I think those look cute, but it's just like, oh, man, it turns me so on. That's not gonna happen.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

Maybe I'll say something just to boost your ego, because that's what it's all about. But I really don't care.

But haven't you seen a woman in lingerie and you think, wow, she looks hot. You don't even remember. Yeah, all that money she wasted at Victoria's Secret.

Yeah, it's just a waste of money. Go to Walmart. Get a Walmart package deal.

Okay, I'm still off.

Guys don't care.

The thing about lingerie is with women, a lot of times it just makes us feel really sexy. So even if you don't notice, we notice and we feel good about it.

It's ego. Ego. It's just building up your ego.

Tell us we're hot and you're 25.

Times a day and your self esteem and it builds your self esteem.

Exactly. Exactly. Hi Emily, Love the podcast and listen through Stitcher as often as it is updated. I notice now that you're having multiple shows a week and I'm really excited. There are other sex shows out there, but they all go for the shock value. And I think your advice is really on point. I could comment on the handout debate and lots of other stuff, but I need advice and don't want to make this too long. So here's a deal. I linked up with an ex girlfriend from high school and she still looks as hot now as she did then. We're both 30ish, but we met when we were 17. But now she is saying she is more experimental. She's only into guys that seem kind of gay or that open to being bi. Curious. Now comes the question for Ewan for Menace, if I kind of play the gay role or even considered a threesome with two men. Unfortunately for this girl, does that make me seem gay? Keep in mind she's a 10 on the 1 to 10 scale. It feels like if both guys were into it, if both guys were into it, her or into her, it wouldn't be weird. But does being open to the experience seem gay? Bye to you. Should I be worried? And then to Menace, is it worth it? Haha. Please respond even if you can't read on the podcast. Thanks. Matt in San Diego. Hey Matt, I don't think that this makes you gay. I know many straight men who have had threesomes with another straight guy and another woman. So it doesn't make you gay. It doesn't make you bi at all. It doesn't mean that you have to touch the other guy. But I would just make sure that you're comfortable and just doing it to get this girl back is not a reason to do it. I would say you guys should go out to dinner and a movie and Reacquaint before you jump into a threesome. If it's something that you. You're not comfortable with at all. And. No, I just. I don't think it makes you gay. I mean, if you sucked his penis, maybe it would, but I think that if you are just with the woman, it doesn't make you gay. No. Yeah. Menace. What do you think?

Is it worth it? I don't think it makes you gay, but I think it makes you desperate. And I think if you do that, it's not gonna. You're not gonna like the outcome because you really like that girl. And watching her have sex with another guy while you're there, I don't think you're gonna like that too much.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like it's in your wheelhouse. It doesn't. It sounds like you're really trying to do. I mean, I would try to get her other way. This is the only thing that she's really into right now. It sounds like maybe she's also trying a value with you. Like, oh, I mean, you know, but doesn't mean that that's. What if she likes you, she'll like you. If you don't want to do that right away.

She wants you to dress metro and, you know, get a manicure, then cool. But if she wants you to hang out with other naked guys, I don't know, man. There's other chicks out there.

There are. There are a lot of chicks out there, but sounds like they. I wouldn't never jump into a threesome without talking about it and having rules and making sure you're okay with it.

Yeah.

Have you had a threesome?

I have not.

Wow. Okay.

Couldn't get it together. I've had one girl down. One other girl wasn't.

She wasn't down with it.

Huh?

She wasn't down with doing it.

Yeah, she just want to have. So I had one girl that wanted to have sex with the other girl that I was having sex with, and then I was also having sex with the girl she want to have. If you're following any of this.

Kind of. And.

But she didn't want to hook up with the. The other chick.

Oh, okay.

She wasn't down for that.

Got it. Just curious about your threesome history. I just need to know.

Couldn't seal the deal. Sorry.

Let's get into some sex in the news.

All right. What you got?

I got some news here. There's been lots of sexy news. Porn industry sees opportunity in latest iPhone. Have you heard about this with adult Apps banned by Apple. New FaceTime video chat feature marks number one marks first chance at untapped market.

Oh, no.

So it's the new iPhone, the i4. The iPhone 4 and its FaceTime video conference feature. Do you know this? That you can talk to someone.

It's like Skype.

It's like Skype, exactly. It's like Skyping on your phone so you can see the person and they can see you. It says. Didn't take long for adult entertainment companies to develop video sex chat services and start hiring workers through Craigslist. They're already doing this. With more than 3 million phones sold. The adult industry stands to make big money on this new way to reach out and touch someone. Even if you put Apple. Apple, which always takes pains to keep its iPhone app squeaky clean. In at least five cities, Craigslist ads seeked models specifically for video sex chat on FaceTime. So Apple's pissed. And FaceTime lets people call other people iPhone users, whatever. So it's a new way to have phone sex with your iPhone.

Trying to figure out how they. They pay for that.

Well, it'd be a service. You probably go through a service and someone answers and says, this woman will call you at this certain time.

Yeah, maybe. I'm trying to figure this out so I can make money off of it.

Exactly.

Maybe get the numbers through a website or something.

I know.

And we should investigate.

We should investigate.

And then you can have FaceTime with Emily.

It's not a bad idea. I can make some money. Do you want to FaceTime with me? I'm not gonna get naked, but I'll give you advice. Yeah, I'll give you some advice. So it says that Apple has rejected a lot of apps featuring sexual content. Thank God they didn't reject my app, which is 101 sex tips from sex family.

But I see, like, sexual position apps and stuff like that.

I know. They're pretty clean, though. They're pretty clean. They're big. With Apple is no porn that they have, like a no porn policy, so.

And then Steve Jobs was quoted as saying, if you want porn, get a Droid.

Oh, I am gonna get a Droid.

Yeah.

Can I get porn on my Droid?

I'm sure you can. They're very not discreet about that kind of stuff.

Wow. So anyway, yeah, it says that. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen with the iPhone. Have you used it yet? Do you have one?

I have not. I was thinking about buying one today, but I didn't have time.

I'm gonna get The Droid gonna do it. Can't do the. I know I have an iPhone app, but I don't like. You know how I feel about app. You know how I feel about the iPhone.

People agree with you. The service isn't great. I have. I have AT&T. I mean, I deal with it, but whatever. So does everybody else.

Yeah, But I'm a big talker on the phoner.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's our next. So that's. That's G4. If anyone's having phone sex with their new iPhone, let me know. Feedback atexfemily.com it's actually easier than Skype. You don't need to. I'm trying to think about it now. I've never had Skype sacks.

I don't think I'm too afraid. I mean, somebody could be, like, tapping into your feed and watching it, and then it's all on the Internet, dude.

Everything's on the. Everyone's tapping into your everything.

Yeah. So why put your wiener on there so everybody can see it?

I don't know. I wouldn't do it. But I even have guys that I've dated, they're like, send me naked pictures, and I just. I've never done that. We've talked about this before. I don't send naked pictures. And they do, but I don't.

Of their wiener.

Like, not attractive. Like, I don't want to see your wiener, and I don't want to be like, message wiener.

Like, wiener's the most unsexiest.

I know. A wiener, a wiener just alone in its midst. It's like, it's not attractive. I don't want to see that. Like, maybe if you're, like, touching it or like, my ex, I don't know, he would send me pictures of him, like, with his shirt off when he got back from the gym. Like, that was kind of hot. But, like, just then, one just sent me a picture of his wiener just sitting there, and I'm like, it could be any wiener. And it's. I don't even want to say yeah, yeah. So I wouldn't do that. Okay. Is rehab a restart button? Tiger Woods, Jesse James. Could Mel be next? So Mel Gibson, you know, one of two America's most beloved celebrities. Golfer Tiger woods and Mel Gibson have taken similar approaches to combating massive scandals in their personal lives by maintaining silence despite intense public scrutiny. Last year, when news of Tiger woods affairs broke, the disgraced pro golfer kept his silence even as his mistress after mistress came forward. And it wasn't until five Months after the news broke that he went home, that he came out of hiding and went to rehab and all that. So they think that Mel Gibson is going to be next, which he probably will be at those crazy tapes that I still haven't listened to, but I've heard them quoted.

Are you serious? You still not have?

No, it's on my list of like, things to do when I'm in my, I'm in my laptop doing other things, but I don't know where you can.

Go without even hearing a clip.

I know. Oh, actually, was it your show that you live 105. Did you, did you play a clip of it or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did hear it.

Oh, well, that's.

I was listening to your show. Okay. And it says perhaps Mel Gibson has crossed into the O.J. simpson category of high profile figure who is so toxic he might not recover. He is pretty toxic. I mean, if you think about what happened with Mel Gibson years ago with, with that whole rant he went on like, the Jews are controlling Hollywood. Do you remember that when he got arrested? Like he's been doing some crazy stuff for a while.

Yeah, but I still think he can go and say, hey, look, I was on some crap.

And every single time he had to.

Say, you know, I had a problem with alcohol, I was on some stuff. I apologize and I think he'll be forgiven. OJ's a little. I don't think you can compare because he was accused of murdering somebody. But the problem is with Mel Gibson and Tiger woods not saying anything. Do you know who squashed his stuff right away? Was David Letterman. David Letterman went on the air and said, you know what? I did these things and I am sorry.

Right.

And all is forgiven, all is forgotten.

That's, you know, do right away.

These guys are, they have like 10 people say, oh, don't say anything like suicide, be a man.

Seriously, like public suicide to not say anything.

If you screwed up, be a man and just admit it and people will forgive you.

I agree. I think you should always. It's like, even when Bill Clinton said, like, I did not, well, he lied. Not a sexual relationship with that woman. It took a while for him to get up and even say that. And then he lied to everybody, everyone. So that wasn't good. So if you're having an affair, admit it right away. And then Mel Gibson wasn't even. Well, he wasn't even having affair. He was just crazy. I mean, really, like, it is right, crazy what he's been doing. Abusive and.

Oh yeah, he's out of his mind.

Okay, so we got that next story. The new. This, this was a great story. I really enjoyed the story in the New York Times. It was. It's called the new dating tools A card and a Wink. So it's actually about these new dating. It's on my website too. Sex family.com. i wrote a little blog about it that. Okay, so online dating, we know. And I'm gonna get into some online dating tips in a second. But that it's, you know, very popular right now. But the thing about online dating is a lot of people lie. A lot of people like, you know, you can't tell that much about someone.

Necessarily from the photos are all close ups.

Photos are close ups. They're photos. It's like they're them and their dog and their like hand in front of their face or they say they're taller, whatever. But this, this is really interesting article about. There's these flirty calling cards, these companies that do these flirty call. So one's called cheek C-H-E-E-K-D.com and basically you, let's say you're sitting at a restaurant with somebody so you actually see the person. So let's say we're at a restaurant when you and I are making eye contact. I run into you and I'm with a girlfriend. I'm like, oh my God, that guy over there is really cute. That guy over there is really cute. But I don't have the like, guts to say anything to you. I walk past you and I drop a card, like a little calling card. And the card can say something that says like, I'm totally cooler than your date or I'm hitting on you. And then you flip it over and it has a URL to go to my profile. So you've already met me, we've made eye contact. And then if you're interested, you can follow up with me like the next day or whatever. And all the cards have these funny little things on it, you know.

So now if a guy left you his URL. Come on.

Yeah, well, no. Well, let's say. No, well, let's say I'm making eye contact with the guy and I think he's cute and he's sitting across the whole time I'm watching him across the bar or across the restaurant or we're at a Giants game, for example. You know, like, I often go to Giants games.

Yeah.

Which I don't. But I should. And there haven't ever been those missed connections, those missed Encounters. You're like, why didn't I get her number?

Yeah.

So now is a way to be like, I'm nervous. I'm not going to go up and say hi, but I'm just going to drop off this card and walk out the door. And then this person saw me. We had eye contact and this person can make the decision whether they want to date me or not. I like it.

I mean it just works with like a business card, basically.

Yeah. But then you go on and then you see their whole profile. They say they have a profile. So there's another one called Flip me. And then this article also gets into Scout, which is those.

Yeah, Scout dating applications. I tried that out because I wanted to see. It was not good. No, but there's one that's just like it called Looped mix, which is way better.

Right. You love that one. And that's when they do use location based technology on your mobile phone.

Just like that gay one that we've been talking about.

The gay one. Grinder.

Grinder.

Are you interested? It says one's called are you interested? One's called Urban singles. And so that's really popular. So these are just alternatives for people, for online, for dating.

Yeah.

And the article is a good, it was a good story. It was like, you know, this woman and was. One couple met that way and got married and then they started the card company. So it's just another thing. And I like that you get to see before you buy.

Yeah.

Then you're not committing to a whole dinner with a guy. Because that's the thing about online dating which we're going to get into. We're going to give some tips about online dating. Is that okay, here's the. I've never done it, but they do say right now that one out of four people meet online. And I think it's even more, I think that that number is greater because I feel like every conversation I have with someone is like, oh, we met online. We met online. We met online. So anyway, I think it's time, high time that we give some tips.

We're gonna get into that now.

All right.

OkCupid. OkCupid is a popular online dating site we've talked about. They produced a detailed report that talks about exposes the common lies told by online daters. So you can be aware of these common lies. All right, from the report.

Number one. Many men often report height two inches taller than reality. Men just underneath six foot tall have a tendency to stretch physical measurements even more to reach that coveted psychological benchmark. Of six feet tall. That's. I guess it's not a surprise. Wow.

I don't even think about that.

You don't think about height, you know, because you're so cute. Doesn't matter.

No, I just don't think about lying about my height. 5 10, right?

Oh, that's a good. See, you don't really have to lie, but these men do. They lie and they say they're six feet. And I actually have dated men who say they're six feet. And I can tell when a guy is six feet tall because I used to have a height thing where I would date tall.

Only tall guys. That's what short chicks do. They love dating tall guys.

I know I'm only like 5 foot 2 and I love tall.

Yeah.

But I also like short. I'm over it. I'm fine. But don't lie on your profile. That is one of the most common things. Number two, reported incomes are about 20% higher for both genders, although men slightly over exaggerate more than women and younger people overstate less than older people on.

How much they make.

Yep.

Yeah. That's always. If you look online, they would say, that would be big. On MySpace, everybody would say, oh, I make 500 grand or I make a million a year. You know, they would never say.

No one's going to say how much they make.

Yeah.

Okay. A large majority of people claim to be bisexual usually contact only one gender, not both. So a larger people that claim to be bisexual usually contact only one. Okay, so they claim to be bisexual, but they are really only focusing on one gender at a time.

Yeah, the girl. Girls put bi all the time because.

They think that guys are going to think it's hot or they just want to, I don't know. Chances.

I don't know. I think because, you know, every guy thinks that's hot, but I don't know if they do it on purpose to attract guys.

I don't know. Not all guys think if that's hot.

Really? Where are they?

I've known. I've actually met men who don't think it's hot. They actually are threatened by it, that they're like, if you're with another woman. I don't know. I surprisingly, have met men. I know, I know I've met men.

Where do you find these men?

Exactly. I'm dating the wrong guys.

Okay. Oh, number four, older people tend to use outdated profile pictures with higher frequency, particularly older men. So those are some of the lies that we got to watch out for. And now, here's some tips for dating online.

All right?

Build a winning profile. Your profile is one of the two key elements that will determine if a person emails you an online dating service. The other is the photo. So that's the next tip. Thus, it's important to make sure that your profile is lively, fun, and positive. Avoid the negatives. Don't say, I'm lonely. I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm sure everyone says, like, I've never done this before.

Don't do that.

Examine other profiles and determine what about it makes you more interested or less interested. So what makes you click on a profile? Look at that. Do a little research before you have your profile up there. Number two, post great recent photos. Face it, when doing a search online. When doing a search on an online dating service, the first thing that grabs your attention is the photo. This is the single most important element to getting people to view that great profile you've written. These days, generic photos won't cut it. And this is very interesting. You need to determine what colors look best on you. Dress nice, be clean cut, and have someone take various photos that are fun and lively. But this is the interesting. Listen to this. When I change. This is the person writing this. When I change my profile, my photo from a pose shot to a shot of me with an orangutan, the number of people emailing me are showing interest quadrupled. It also provided a great icebreaker and talking point when someone emailed me. So on the one hand, they're saying, like, be clean cut and nice. But then, like, if you throw orangutan in, you're getting a lot more attention. So I'm not really sure here. There's like, those are two things.

No, that's kind of true, because in my main.

Do something wacky.

My fate, my main Facebook profile picture, I have a picture with, like, some pop star.

Yeah, I've always been meaning to ask you who that is in your picture.

Kesha. Kesha. She goes. One of her famous lines is like, wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. You never heard of that song? All right, well, it's Kesha. She's a pop star.

Number three, avoid white lies. They're only hurting yourself.

Yes.

Do not lie. What are they? Yeah, people are always. We always heard about the lies that they tell. And they're gonna. This person's gonna find out. They're gonna sit down and they're gonna be like, you're 5 foot 4 and you're not 6ft tall. So they're gonna be able to tell.

I totally agree with you. Because my profile is totally boring. Because I'm.

Which one?

Awful writer.

Your online dating?

My Facebook one. Oh, awful. I don't know because I don't write. I can't write.

Yes, you can. Don't say can't.

I can't.

You can.

I'm sorry.

I'll help you. Okay. Number four, learn how to better identify and avoid married people. It's a sad fact that nearly a fourth of the people who participate in online dating are married. Whether looking for a way to cheat or trying to see what they missed out on, these people are a menace to people seeking. Seeking true relationships. Married people will be extremely secretive and irregular in their communication with you.

Yeah, especially the people online. They. The ones that don't say if they're single or in a relationship or anything. They just. It's just blank.

Exactly.

Those people, those are the shady ones. I know because I went on a date with some chick to some concert. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend because it didn't say right profile.

And you find out after she told me.

Yeah.

God, people are like, I mean, I can't believe that you'd actually create a profile if you're married. Like, don't you think your spouse could find it and.

Yeah, I don't know.

So it says, if you reach the point of talking to the phone with this person and you get their cell phone and you get their cell phone a lot calls will be returned on a regular basis. They generally won' post a picture or post one that is dark and grainy. Maybe they're child molester after all. They don't want a friend or family member to come across their profile. That's true. Okay, number five, this is another tip. When you're doing your online dating profile, always be respectful of others. Being respectful means not being lewd with your communications with others and not dropping off the face of the earth when you move on. One of the biggest complaints that they receive from people, they say the person they were communing with just disappeared and stopped communicating. It's very disrespectful when you don't send a polite message letting other people know that you're moving on. So that's like the further people whose serial date and they go on 10 dates a week. Like, you should just say to the person, I'm not interested. It wasn't a love match. But I also had a friend who went out with a guy and. And she was. After she Was having nice communication with him. And after their first date, she got home and he sent her something like, hey, can't wait to see naked or something kind of like really lewd. And she was forgetting, like, lost his phone number. So. Anyway, don't be lewd. So those are my online dating tips for everyone?

Yes. Yeah, I'm really bad at, though, that one where I stop communicating with people because I forget because I have so many.

Cause you're not into them?

Yeah, not that I'm not into them. Like, oh, this person seems really cool. But then it's like, I don't think, oh, man, I gotta rush back in.

But where? On Facebook, you mean? So do you have a lot of women hitting you up on Facebook today?

Couple? Yeah, but I just. I. And plus, there's so much goddamn spam on Facebook.

I know.

Ridiculous. It's like the next MySpace.

If people. If people invite me to something too often, I defend them.

Oh, God.

I'm like, don't invite me to your, like, millions of ads. I know that's rude, but it's like.

I don't want to get this one event, though.

No, you. Honey, you can email me all you want. I doubt you invited me to something.

I did. On Monday, I'm doing a charity event for a San Jose school district.

Do I have to go to San Jose?

Yeah, you see, you want to go.

So it wouldn't matter. I love San Jose, but I'm not sure that I'm going to go. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. Remember, you can find morexwithemily.com youm can email me feedbackextextwithemily.com youm Can Find me on Twitter, Emily Morse, Facebook, Emily Hope Morse and my Facebook fan page, Sex with Emily and menace is whitemenace.com. love it. Okay, well, everyone, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com youm've been listening to.

Sex with Emily with your host, Emily Morris. Have a question about sex, relationships, or anything in between? Email emily@feedbackexwithemily.com Want to add Emily to your Facebook or Twitter page? Visit Emily's website, sexwithemily.com where you'll also find the latest Sex with Emily news and podcasts. Archive. Podcasts can be downloaded from itunes from the Stitcher studios in beautiful San Francisco, California. You've been listening to Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

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