SWE: Phone Sex

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

This episode of Sex with Emily is brought to you by Screaming O Make sex even more fun with a screaming O collection of award winning mini vibes, vibrating rings and sexy accessories. These colorful sex toys come recommended by Women's Health, Maxim magazine and sexperts around the world. Try a vibe on your finger, your tongue, or even around his thing and see what all the buzz is about. Men, women and couples love screaming O. Millions of Satisfied customers will tell you no matter where you are, what you like, or who you're with. There's a screaming O for that. Go to screamingo.com to check out all their fun products today. Thanks for listening. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast. Sign up for a mailing list, subscribe to our RSS feed and all that good stuff, and thanks everyone for listening to the show. Okay, so now you can find me Sex with Emily on Twitter and also on Facebook. You can find my page on Facebook. So you can. We were doing a lot more interactions, a lot more Twittering, a lot more commenting. Commenting, Facebooking. So you can hopefully join us. And also. Okay, so we have this audience survey on our website. It's in the right hand. There's a little blue thing. It says audience survey. And a lot of people have been filling it out. And I would be so appreciative specifically because we're doing. I know I've been saying this for a while, but I mean it. We are moving into more shows and I'd love to hear what you like, what you don't like. There's a specific section that says likes and dicks, dislikes and dicks. Dick, dick. You said dick, dick, Likes, dislikes, and there's. And so it helps us because I want to know, like, what do you like, what you don't? What do you want to hear? So please fill out that survey. That would be awesome. And today's show. Okay, we've got your email that you emailed to feedbackexwithemily.com Some topics include phone sex for beginners, how to do it, a wife won't masturbate, what to do about that, who should plan the date, and a few more things. You know, random hand job things and menace things and stuff like that. And then we've also got some sex tips. Kegel exercises. I have a personal strong affinity for Kegel exercises because I've got a new. Well, I always have because I think it's the most important exercise that you're not doing right now. And they're for men and women, so guys, don't tune out. They're for you, too. And I have a new iPhone app that is out. It should be out right now as you're listening to this. It's called Kegel Camp from Sex with Emily.

Kegel Camp.

K E G E L. You can get an iPhone. It's iPhone app. Did I say that? Yes. So, okay, so Kegel exercise. We're gonna get into Kegel exercises and why they're so important and how they're gonna improve your. And change your life and improve your sex life.

That's good.

That is good, right?

I wanna see the app already.

The app is really cool. I'm on the. It's better. I have another app, 101 sex tips from Sex with Emily. And I think this one's better. It's more interactive. I'm talking on it. I'm like. Cause basically what you do with your Kegels is you isolate the muscles and you relax. You tense, relax. So I'm going tense, relax, tense, relax. My voice. Whatever. It's cute. You like it. So that's very exciting. And we. I'm. It's good to see you, Menace.

You too.

How you doing?

How's your week going?

My week has been crazy. Lots of drama, but very good. Yeah, I've had some male drama. I feel like men are just, like, coming out of the woodworks.

Oh, guy drama. Not like mail that gets delivered to you.

No, but P.S. you owe me a letter. Someone sent me a book here that you need to give me. Oh, okay, okay. No. Speaking of male. Male drama, people want to know. I'm not gonna. I.

Is it like Maury Povich type drama?

Kind of. And I'm not gonna get into all the details. Cause we've got so much to cover today, but.

Oh, I don't care about that. I want to hear about the drama.

Basically, this town's really small.

Yeah. Seven miles by seven miles.

Yeah, it's a very small town.

And stuff gets around.

Stuff gets around. And I was with someone and he told someone. And I'd been with this other guy a few weeks earlier, and it wasn't. It wasn't good. I'm not gonna get in the whole situation, but I'm not gonna get in the whole story. And one day I will. Maybe in a few weeks I'll tell you all the story. But right now, it's a little raw. And all I have to say is that, like, I got caught up. Feel like I'm too old to be in a situation where a guy is going to talk about sleeping with me. Like, is it that, like. And then the other guy who knows that I slept with this guy, he's like, I think he was using you as, like, a trophy or something. Like, he was telling. Literally the next day, he's like, I slept with Emily. And told his ex girlfriend. The point is, who the hell talks about who they sleep with at our age? Who does that?

Actually, I was just talking about this before the show. I was having coffee with this girl and we're talking just about how this, the city that we live in is so small and everybody knows everybody. And I told her, I go, that's why even my friends that are my friends, I don't tell them about anything. I don't tell them about who I'm sleeping with or anything like that. Because they could tell somebody innocently about what's going on with you and it just gets around so fast. So as they say, keep your game tight, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, don't tell anybody anything. It doesn't matter. Like, I don't need to share that kind of stuff.

I don't. I just share it with all the dude.

And that guy telling him, I just.

Share with 10,000 people a day.

That guy like telling his girlfriend, that's such a chick move, like, untuck your penis, man. Like, right. That's bitch shit. Right?

I know. I couldn't believe it. I was like, you really, you went and told. I told you not to say anything. You said something anyway. I don't want to get a whole thing, but it was drama and I'm done and it's just like, I can't. I just feel like I don't want to be with anyone in San Francisco. I just could start importing men. What do you think you should. Or traveling.

That guy in LA that I've been telling you for years.

No, no, no, no. We're like, he's got. Oh, he's coming to town next week.

Oh, really? Are you guys just gonna hang out?

Oh, and I've got another guy. I've got guys coming to town and drink wine. He's not my cabin. He's not my cabin, drink wine friend. He's my ex boyfriend and maybe I should have him come on the show. Would you like to have somebody on the show that I've slept with that you could come?

I thought that'd be interesting.

I love that. Wouldn't that be interesting? Like, what was Emily like?

I would love that.

I'd tell me. Terrified. I'd be terrified.

You might have to leave the room. I would have so many questions.

That'd be so much fun. Oh, my God. So, yeah. How was your week? Did you get any action?

No, I haven't. I just. I know it sucks, but I, you know, I've been in the process of moving and all that stuff. And now I got a sponsor. Not a sponsor of the show, but I got a sponsor with Scion, and they gave me a car, but I still have to get insurance and all that stuff. So I'm dealing with kind of, like.

Hate the logistics of that being a.

Grown up, you know, like paying welcome to my world. And that kind of like, puts off. That kind of goes ahead of like. Like trying to get laid. It's like, get it settled and be comfortable in your living space.

True and so true. If you're not.

It takes a while.

Yeah. If you're not comfortable in your home space and you're not feeling centered and grounded, it's gonna be hard to be in a relationship because then you're like half a person or just even. You're looking for another or even going out.

It's just such a big deal.

I agree.

Being a man, because I feel I'm not one of those people that is gonna let the girl pay. So, like, you know, I still. You still have to think all that stuff out.

I've been offering a pay again, by the way.

No. Is it just a reach? You don't reach. Good. Yeah, good. Actually, they were just talking about this on the TV show, the Today show.

Really? What were they saying?

And it was my. My favorite girl of them all was talking about it is Olivia Munn. She was on the Today show just the other day, and she was talking about the reach. She's like, you got to do the reach. She goes.

I'm going to do the reach, but you better pay. Exactly. You make me pay. Then we're not going out again.

We're talking about when you go on a date, that the guy should pay for the first few dates. I think especially whoever does the asking. And the woman should do the reach. She should put, I'm going to get my wallet. And then he's just to go, no, don't worry about it.

Yeah.

He's not going to be like, yeah, you owe me 42 bucks.

That would be hell. No, that's not me. I'm not going to do that.

I would hate that. I would hate that. Okay, I got to give a big shout out to our sponsor here real quick. Adam and Eve. Okay. So I spent a lot of time on Adamia's website today because I was like, you know, I always talk about Adam and Eve and how it's the best place to go for toys. And seriously, they have. I kept, like, searching, like, every toy that I've ever loved, and they're all on Adam and Eve. So that's where you should go buy your sex toys. And I think you should go there today because you get 50% off most items. To all loyal Sex with Emily listeners. And they throw in three adult DVDs which are awesome because they sent them to me, which I'm so glad I was like, what if I hate these DVDs. But I actually really enjoyed the DVDs, if you know what I mean. And a free gift and free shipping, which we love. Free shipping. Here's some things that you could get. I looked at some toys and like some of their best sellers and you know, I always talk about vibrating rings. They have a lover's delight nubby ring that you can get. It's reasonably priced. You can get one of those. Reasonably priced. Then there's this thing. It's a wild G spot vibrator. It looks like a rabbit on steroids. The rabbit vibrator on steroids. It's awesome. And they have top selling movies and lingerie. So go to AdamAndEve.com Enter coupon code Emily at checkout and check out all the sex toys.

That's good. That's really good about free stuff. I didn't, I didn't want to make this into a whole plug thing. But you're going to anyway. Do it anyways. Because me and my buddy been working on this website for the past year where we want to let companies help them do giveaways on Twitter. So I'm testing one out right now and I'm giving away an iPad. So if you follow me on Twitter, it's White menace. And on May 6, I believe I'm giving away a new iPad.

How are you going to pick the winner?

It is. It's the system, the way it's built up through hashtags. It follows everybody that enters and stuff like that.

Well, I've been doing contests too. Not as sophisticated, Lee.

Yeah. See?

Sophisticated. So as you. But I did you build. Okay. We'll talk about technical. I think it's awesome how you did that. So everyone should apply for menaces thing. Yeah. And we're giving away sex toys every week through my Twitter because we can't do it through Facebook or something. It's more complicated. Facebook doesn't let you so go to Twitter already. If you've been set up for Twitter. Sex with Emily and then White Menace. Yes, yes. And we've been tweeting back and forth.

Yeah. People at replying us.

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. Okay, so I think I'll get into Some sex in the news.

Okay, what do you got?

There's a survey that came out. 52% of British women avoid having sex because they feel fat.

Do you think that number. I think. I think so many things.

Well, they. On television, like, they make fun of women. British women being fat and having messed up teeth. That's what we see in America.

Okay, so I don't. But that is a huge. Right. You know, you're saying the British women are larger. They're.

That's what they mock in.

You're thinking about like Bridget Jones Diary or something.

No, I'm just saying on from the 90s. That comes like in general from Britain. It's like the girls have messed up.

A lot of listeners in the uk. Yeah, maybe I haven't heard that, but I don't been.

I don't know.

He doesn't believe that. But here's what's so interesting about this survey. Okay, so 52%. But what I'm saying, I think this is universal. I think a lot of times women feel super insecure about their bodies and so they want the lights off. They don't want to have sex. Like they feel fat. I've even been with men lately who are like, I ate too much. I'm not sure if I can get it up. They don't say that, but they're thinking that. Okay, so this is a survey of 4,000 people. It discovered that 29% of women said that women mentioned looking for feeling fat as a reason for not having sex. 20, 23% they blamed on their wobbly bits, which is. Was a British survey. So that we just say our flabby thighs. They said wobbly bits. And then it said that 8% of males avoided sex due to some fat shame. Only 8% of men and their love handles. And the biggest reason for not getting it on was fatigue, cited by 72% of women fouled by feeling unattractive. 34. Anyway, so they feel fat. But this is the thing I want to tell you that men is that a lot of times you can't help a woman feel better if she feels insecure about her body. This is just. It's a lot of women go through this. I go through this. I go through periods where I'm like, oh, God, I know I look so. But you know what? Just try to. This is what we talked about a few weeks ago on the show. Embrace the person you're with. Tell them that they're beautiful. Tell them that you think they're sexy. Sometimes it doesn't Work. Because women have to believe it themselves. And they could have a hundred people telling them that they are. But just remember to cherish the woman that you're with and tell her how f. How freaking awesome she is and how beautiful she looks and how hot she looks.

Quick question. Maybe I misunderstood the survey. It's so they don't want to have sex. Right?

They don't want to have sex.

They don't want to have sex.

They avoid sex because they feel fat.

Okay. Not because they're not getting laid. Because.

No, no, no.

Okay.

Did you misunderstand that?

No, I just wanted to clarify.

Yeah. 52% say the reason that they're not having sex or they avoid sex. They could be in a relationship. They could be whatever is like, they. They feel fat tonight. And putting off sex or putting off anything because you're going to lose weight. Like, you know, who are like, oh, I have a friend who's like, when I lose 15, then I'm gonna date. It's like, you can't live your life in the future when this happens, when I get the car, the wife, the house, the kids, then I'm gonna be happy. That is no way to live your life. Ever. Be happy. Now, today, Here and now.

Yeah. Right? That's what I'm talking about.

I mean, we could be in Japan.

Yeah.

Luckily, we're not. We have good lives right here in San Francisco.

That's good.

And in the world. Hopefully, there's peace all around. Everyone's doing well.

Wow. Are we gonna get into a circle?

I feel like I'm going to. Okay, so south by Southwest, potential picture of Jake Gyllenthal's. Is that how you say it?

Jake Gyllenhaal.

Gyllenhaal. Whatever. Penis taken. Deleted at south by Southwest. He was taking a pee outside. Did you hear this? He was at south by Southwest, which is this huge festival.

It's Jake Gyllenhaal.

I thought it was Jake Gyllenhaal, okay? And he got dangerously close to having his penis on computer and smartphone screens all across the land. But he got into a fight with this guy. He was, like, taking piss outside, and some guy was like. Took a picture of him, and he was like, give me that camera. But, like, who does that? Who are these people?

There's thousands of people right now in Austin, Texas.

Thousands. Everyone I know. Is there.

Thousands.

I know.

It sucks. It makes me depressed.

We were supposed to go. I mean, I. Friends. I used to. My film that I made years ago was there. And then everyone's there for music right now.

Everyone is wasted for a week and wearing nothing because it's super hot. I'm, like, looking at photos before the show and everyone, like, girls are in bikinis.

Seriously, it's like 75 degrees in Austin. That's great.

It's amazing.

Okay, well, we're missing that this year, but we're gonna do other fun things.

I want to. We should do live sex with Dunley next year from Austin.

That would be amazing.

Be awesome. Then we could be super wasted.

Done and done. Corporate done and done. I want to be wasted on the show for once. Okay. Playboy publishes their annual sexiest Celebrities list. Here's some of the celebrities that Playboy magazine found. The.

I'll see if I agree with the list.

You will. One of them is Olivia Wilde. Isn't that yours?

Olivia Munn.

Olivia Munn. Who's Olivia Wilde? What's the difference? I don't know.

Somebody that. I don't care enough, okay, to know what they look like.

Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman. Yeah. She's cute.

Random child. Child star. Tara Reid. Tara Reid. Where has she been? Around.

Tara Reid.

Tara Reid.

No effing way.

How did she get in it? She's been, like, out of the picture. I know.

And she's a bitch. I've met her before.

I have two. Yeah, okay. Brooke Burke.

Brooke Burke. Yeah.

She's always Halle Berry.

Halle Berry. She was on Ellen the other day and I was watching Ellen and.

Yes. You admit it.

Super hot.

Who? Halle Berry. Oh, my God, dude.

Well, you know, she just. You know, she has it all together, man. Like, she's going through divorce or a.

Separation or child custody battle. She's going to. Yes. With her ex baby daddy.

What?

Even I know this. It's in the news. She's going through this whole thing with her baby daddy because he wants custody. He's like a young model or something.

Okay. Yeah, but she doesn't look like she's aged at all.

I know.

Yeah.

It's so unfair. It's really unfair. And then Megan. Megan Fox. Michelle Williams. Scarlett Johann. What? You don't like Megan Fox?

No. Her personality makes her ugly.

Oh, really? Is she not fun? I don't know.

I've never, like, she's notoriously not fun.

Really?

Yeah. She has like the worst personality. She comes off. I don't know her personally, so maybe she's different when doors are closed, but just everything I see in the media, every interview, she's just like, ugh.

Really?

Yeah.

Didn't know.

See, like, if your personality sucks and you're super hot. It makes you ugly.

Exactly. It only goes so far.

Yeah.

There's so many guy friends I have that are like, yeah, I dated her for like, usually they can date her for three months just because she's hot. I think the looks last about two to three months. And then you're like, oh, I need a personality or I need somebody. They're pain. Exactly. Yeah. That's why I don't go after men. And not like, not that I don't. Not that I don't date men who are attractive. I have, but for me it's always about personality.

You don't. You do.

Have you dated men? Have you met men? I've dated.

Yeah.

You have.

They're all right.

All right.

I don't think they're super hot or anything.

That's a whole nother story.

They're just not my type, I guess.

That's good to know. If there was your type, we'd have a whole new can of worms to open up here. Okay. Florida teacher gets in trouble for giving a sexual tension quiz. A Florida teacher gave his class a sexual innuendo quiz. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When you blow me, it feels good. The answer was a nose and he might lose his job over it. This makes me think of two things. First off, 16 year old kids are the king of innuendo. If you don't believe me, try getting a group of 10th graders to do anything involving tennis balls. Anyway, so all these teachers every week sex in the news is like teachers sleeping with their students, teachers porn flashes on the screen when they're meant to do the science experiment.

When are teachers learn their lessons? Like, just stay away from it, you know? I know they want to educate people, that's cool. But, you know, just send them to the sex family podcast.

Exactly.

They'll be okay. I don't. I can't wait to take it on themselves.

Exactly. Just send to me. We could do education in schools.

We could.

One of my friends has been telling me that for a long time. He's like, you guys should go to college campuses and do sex family stuff. We should leave this room.

I can hook that up.

Yeah, in your spare time.

I can.

You say you will.

When you ask me to do something, I do it, don't I? Every time.

Eventually.

What?

No, you do.

Go ahead, bring it on.

I don't know, just like, it takes a while. Like every week. Can you post a show? Can you post a show?

But if you want like, like to book Somebody. I can get somebody really good whenever you ask.

Oh, we're gonna have a lot more guests coming up too. Yeah, I'm excited about that.

There's no problem. Did I get, like, some really good. Anytime I bring in a guest, aren't they really good?

Sometimes?

Sometimes.

Every time you've done good stuff, you've done good stuff. For sure. For sure.

I don't want to hear about it anymore.

Okay. What? Let's get into the house. That's my sex in the news. There wasn't like a ton of sex in the news this week. That's what I had for y'.

All. That's it.

We've got lots.

No, Charlie Sheen didn't have sex with a bunch of porn stars.

Well, like, what is the deal with Charlie Sheen this week? I saw something on tv. They were doing like a whole wrap up. Oh, he's going on tour.

Yeah. He's coming here to San Francisco. Across country. I. This is my theory on Charlie Sheen. I am done. He hasn't said anything. He hasn't said anything new. It's just the same old crap. He hasn't done anything crazy.

Do you think he's still on drugs?

No, I think he.

They say he's sober and he's like, trying to overcome it with his mind.

He's manic. He's just insane now.

Right, exactly. You know, and he's. I saw the thing with the two porn. Oh, Briolson. We did an interview with her. If anyone wants to check it out. You can search for Briolson. We interviewed her few months ago on the show.

We did.

Porn star. Yeah.

Was that the one over the phone? That was terrible.

Yeah, she was like, I just like guys who are.

Yeah.

What'd she say? Like, confident. I'm like, what really turned you on? You're a porn star. Come on. What really turns you on? She's like, confidence. I'm like, okay, okay, okay. But really, what turned. She's like, confidence. I was just like, I'm like, give me more. You're a porn star.

She was the one that was like, half asleep or something.

Yeah, she was like, in Wisconsin and probably. Yeah, that was before she left for the limelight and. Yeah, Los Angeles with Charlie Sheen.

That's good. I don't know. I hope Charlie Sheen can come up with a new material or do something crazy.

He's going on tour, which is bold.

I believe it's going to tank pretty hard, and he's going to be booed off the stage and they're going to Cancel the rest of the tour. That's why.

That's your prediction?

Yep.

Okay. Fair. I don't know. I thought it'd be kind of fun to go see him lose it in.

Front of everyone if he makes it here in time.

Yeah, it's true. Okay.

Anyways, in the news, any. Anything else in your sex life, though, that's the news part that we want to talk about.

Okay. So.

What can you share with me?

I ended. I was dating a guy, it's over. And I am now dating.

Just on to the next one.

I don't remember. No, I'm dating a few people. I'm dating a few people and I'm being really open with them that I'm dating a few people. Which is. Which is feels really healthy because I'm not.

As you should.

Right. They all know, except for like when I didn't have a chance to tell him. And then his ex girlfriend told everyone at the bar that I was slept with him, this other guy, which was a mistake. Who talks about who they sleep with? So guys.

Women do that, but guys should.

I don't. I don't. I have like two best friends that I tell everything to and I tell them all my stuff. And sometimes I wish I could tell you all everything, but I don't want everyone to tell everyone else.

And do you know what he just did that he told his ex girlfriend to make her jealous and she was jealous and then she said all that stuff to be a bitch.

I know. She was like, yeah, it's not nice. Yeah, nice to talk about other people. Like, I don't know, it's whatever. It's just. I just don't like talk. I'm not a gossip at all.

Did you call her a whore in the bar? Because that would.

I wasn't there.

Oh, damn.

Which is a bummer.

But I would have.

Exactly. Well, you can call her a whore. But I think that, yeah, people are insecure. I mean, I don't know why people need to talk about their business, especially with their ex girlfriends. Like, this is who I slept with. This is what I'm doing. It just seems silly. And I've just learned a lot and I've learned that I just have to.

Be careful who I'm with or just what you say. Like.

What do you mean what I say? I didn't say anything. I just slept with them.

Yeah.

I gotta be careful. Other people that I am date. Not that I'm making bad choices. I just think that you have to really. I think it's really Good to wait a long time before you sleep with someone.

What?

I'm gonna start, like, becoming, like, Mormon or something. Or wait till you're married. No, I'm just kidding. Everyone's like, no, no. But really, like, why? I don't know. I just think I need to know people better. And it's like I said, it's a small town. I've lived here for a long time. You know, everyone and I just have to make better choices.

I totally agree. And you should try, you know, a little outside the city, maybe.

Oh, I've done that. I've got la. I've got la.

I mean, that's kind of far. I mean, there's a lot.

Oh, you mean outside the city? City, like. Like over the bridge?

Yeah.

I don't leave the city very much.

Well, that's.

They'd have to come to me.

Wow.

I'm going to see a play tonight. I'm going to see. He's gonna be amazing. What? That I'm going to see a play. Yeah.

Sounds like a fun.

Okay. He's gonna be at. I think he's gonna be on our show. I shouldn't even say it because I think he is gonna be in our show next week, but it's that Rock of Ages with Constantine Maroulis from American Idol, so he's in town for a few weeks, so he's gonna try to come on our show, but he's. His show is when we record, but I'm gonna go see that tonight. Taking a girlfriend.

A girlfriend?

Yeah. Rocket Ages. It's supposed to be awesome.

That's cool.

What are you gonna do this weekend?

This weekend? Pay bills. I'm gonna get really drunk after the show because one of our. One of our buddies that's been helping us out over at Stitcher is leaving Stitcher and he's launching a network with Kevin Smith, the movie director. And you can also get that show.

On Stitcher, so that's awesome.

I think that's coming up within a month.

Are you really gonna get drunk right now? Like in 20 minutes you're gonna be drunk?

Yeah, I'm gonna go drink.

Oh, I wish I could.

Yeah, you gotta play.

I'm going to play at eight. I could. I could get drunk first and then fall asleep in the. I could pre game.

That's good.

Some people wrote in about pre gaming. Shock. Okay, let's move into some emails because there are so many of them. And I just want to thank everybody for emailing me@feedback.com. i read all your emails. I Don't always get to read them. But I will be starting a program in a month where I will be answering them via video.

How much until. How long till you can tell people what's on? Going.

I know I've got, like, so much going on that I want to tell everybody, and I can't. And I probably will tell you in about three weeks.

Three weeks?

Two weeks.

Two weeks.

Two weeks. I'm gonna tell everyone. It's a pretty big deal.

It is.

And it makes me really happy. And I hope that you'll all come along for the ride. Yeah.

If you like sex with Emily now, believe me.

Yeah. You're gonna like it. Sex with Emily all the time.

Yeah.

It's gonna be awesome. Okay. Hello. I was delighted to hear you. In the latest episode, number 204, read a message from another listener about sex between the breasts. I, too, would love that if I had a partner to do it with. I also would love the woman on top, top position for intercourse, as it would allow me to suck on her breasts while I'm inside her. As usual. You and Menace are great. Keep up the good work, Collins. Thank you, sir.

Collins. Where? Does he say where he's from?

Nope. Damn it. But he's. He's written before and a bunch. Collins. Hi, Collins. Haven't heard from you in a while. Great to hear from you. So, yeah, that's the guy that had never come up before. The. The breasts.

Yeah.

With the. With the sex.

What?

The.

The term for it is really dirty, so.

Titty effing.

Yeah.

Can I say it?

Yeah.

There you go. I said it. So he likes it, too. I feel like it's something from the 70s or something that people don't really do it anymore. 70s?

What?

I don't know, the 80s. Do people still do it all the time? The 90s. I feel like I don't do it anymore.

You're either really into it or you're not. It's one of those things.

Yeah. I wouldn't mind it, but I haven't had a guy be like, let me do this.

Yeah.

But I wouldn't say no.

I. I'm down.

I'm like, whatever. I gotta be a good girl to date. But you know what the problem is? Sorry. I'm gonna go off on something. What?

Go for it.

It's messy. True. And that.

Well, what isn't messy?

I have a feeling lately, like, I've always gotten. I don't know if I should go off on the surround right now, but I have gotten a lot of I've always. You've gotten attention from men or met men, and I've always had guys in my life, but I feel like lately, oh, my book. My book is out. You can look at. I mean, it's not out in stores yet, but it's. If you go to Simonand Schuster.com and you look for hot. It's called Hot Sex. You can see my book, and it's up there and it says, over 200 sex positions. Freaking awesome. My book is awesome. You can pre order it and pre buy it right now. It comes out in September. But the point is that I feel like lately when I'm meeting men and I'm meeting, you know, I'm out all the time. That there is a certain. I never used to feel this way. And I've talked about this progressively on the show. Like, if you went back and listened, you'd hear me say, no, guys, don't get intimidated, or guys don't care. But now it's like, I wrote a book with 200 over 200 sex positions. And I feel like when I meet men now, they almost, like, hear what I do. And it's like, let's get it on. I don't even know that it's about me, but. No, but I never. We brought up a ton of but. I've never felt it until lately. I really feel it now.

They're like, oh, she's a freak.

Yeah, she's a freak. She wrote the sex book. She knows all the stuff, which I kind of do.

But I'm not with her immediately.

Yes. Yes. And it's. It's. It's. I don't want to talk about it right away.

Look, fellas, you're not going to get down unless you go to a cabin and you have some wine.

Oh, I love what I do.

It's not going to happen right now.

I love, love, love what I do, but I don't want it to be like, you see sex before you see me.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I never thought that.

You never. You never thought me, Found me attractive or you never wanted to sleep with me, Right?

No.

Except for that one time that you.

You keep on thinking that. I think you were wasted and you were dreaming.

I think Menace tried to kiss me once. I had a flashback during the show a few weeks ago. It was cute. It was cute. It was. It was a long time ago.

I did not try to kiss you.

But you were like. You were drunk.

No, I.

It was like five years ago. It's fine. Okay. Hi, Emily. Who? Who What? Got. Yeah, maybe you didn't. Maybe it wasn't you.

I think it might have been somebody else.

Okay, Emily, I recently discovered your podcast and I was looking for something interesting to listen to to get me through the 12 hour drive from my boyfriend's house to my own.

I must say, and I typed in sex and I found out.

I typed in sex and I found you. I might say it definitely worked. And I've been listening to archived episodes ever since. Everyone listening. We do have 200 and some shows, so you can listen to all of them. I think it'd be funny to go back to the beginning. As far as I can tell, you don't have an episode on phone sex and I think it would make a great topic for your show. I'm currently in the long distance relationship, which despite popular opinion that long distance, never that long distance doesn't work, is going great. My boyfriend and I have managed to find a way to keep the spark despite the thousand mile distance between us. One night after I had a couple of drinks, I called my boyfriend and we engaged in some pretty hot phone sex. Ever since then, he's been trying to get initiated again, but I keep backing off for changing the subject. For some reason.

Other than the one time, other than that one time that I was able to, I can't seem to get comfortable enough or creative enough to rely on words. It's not that I'm not comfortable talking about sex with him because we talk about some aspect of sex every night. Especially since I've been listening to your show. Do you have any tips for someone new to phone sex? I love your show and I'm officially a new loyal listener. Chelsea from Ontario, Canada. Hey, Chelsea. I am a huge fan of phone sex. I love phone sex and I think that it's the kind of thing where it is great for long distance. It's great for long distance. And also you could do it. Yeah, you could do it on Skype too. I don't know if you guys ever Skype. You could do Skype, you could do Skype, chat and like look at each other. But if you just want to do straightforward phone sex, the first thing to do, I just wrote down some tips here just for you. Because if it's like the first time or first few times, you have to make sure that you're very comfortable. Like, so make sure you're in a comfortable place. Maybe you already got into bed for the night and you're, you know, that no one's around and you're comfortable and then you got to sex up your voice. Do you know how to suck up your voice? Think, like kind of breathy and husky. Like, think that you're kind of like talking, like, in a different way. Because men, again, it's your voice. They're not seeing you. So it's the way you're talking. Always embellish. Okay? He says what you're wearing, don't tell him that you're wearing your holy sweats and your long T shirt. You're wearing nothing.

I'm wearing a parka.

Right. As far as you're concerned, you know, whatever he's. You're wearing agent, you're wearing head to toe Victoria's Secret something or other. You're not wearing your holy T shirt. That's this visual. Men are visual. So you gotta tell them that. And then so. And also just be enthusiastic. They want to know. Men want to know that you're enjoying it as much as they are. So just tell them that. Like, if you can't really get into it, like, it's really easy just to start with simple things. Like, I really did. You like when I do. Like when I touch your penis. You know, whatever you want to say. Your wiener. Your wiener. Someone wrote in that they like when you say wiener. You know, it was really hot. I loved last time we were having sex. You could even describe to him last time you had sex what made it so hot for you or what you'd like him to do to you or what you'd like to do to him next time you see him. So there's ways you can work through a scenario in your head. Like, if you know how you always have sex, you'd be like, I can't wait to see you.

You're schlong.

Rip your clothes off and kiss your body all over until you. Whatever. You know what to say.

You get to the happy end.

But I have a few more cocktails maybe and try it again. But there it just. Just don't worry about. And I have to say the thing about phone sex is I'm a huge fan. Get it gets easier.

Yeah.

You everything in life, you got to practice. And you just get some of your stuff down and you know what to say and you know what you can hear what is turning him on more. And then you say more of that.

And I would practice on with sexting.

You need practice with sexting.

Yeah, just do a little practice with sexting, you know, so you get in the comfortable zone, then maybe move to the phone sex.

Send them a dirty picture yeah.

Or if you want. Dude, that's why I'm really afraid of the Skype stuff, though, Right? You know, what about if somebody hacked into my network? I know they're seeing me, you know, pleasuring something about.

I. Personally, I've never had Skype sex, but I like the phone set. I just did it the other day. I shouldn't say this either, but my LA guy, he was, like, in a hotel room in New York the other night. And I was driving home, I was in traffic, and that's why I'm saying, you know, I'm like, are you gonna masturbate right now? He goes, yeah, I was going to. I'm like, do you want me to talk you through it? And I just, like, totally got him off while I was driving home from work. Wow. I was like, in traffic lights. I'm like, so what are you. What are you wearing? Really? You're so. Are you so hard right now? And he, like, came in two seconds. It was awesome. What? I'm good at it. I hope I help. I hope I helped. Chelsea, was that helpful? Just relax.

You're gonna date 500 other guys and you're just gonna end up getting with this guy anyways.

No, I will not end up with him ever. Ever. We are friends. I'm not. I'm driving home from work in traffic. I didn't give phone sex.

I'm just saying, you know, I didn't.

Get an accident or anything.

No one's gonna be giving out the milk for free with the LA guy.

Honey, I don't care. LA guy and I are so beyond ever being. We're not gonna be together, okay? We're just gonna have phone sex.

That's cool.

And sometimes real sex.

All right.

No, but not really anymore. Not attracted to him like that, but I can give him phone sex.

God, why are you lying to me so much?

I'm not lying to you.

So many lies that you're projecting to me right now.

I'm not lying to you. I'm not sleeping with him. I haven't in a while yet. But phone sex is that bad. I'm so, like, I can just dish out some phone sex right now. I got nothing to do.

Yeah, whatever.

Whatever. Whatevs. Okay. Hi, Emily. And, oh, I have to give another shout out to another sponsor.

Okay.

Okay, how's that? Tune Up Media.

Oh, my favorite.

Everyone keeps talking me, emailing me, like, how much they love Tune Up Everyone. They're, like, super happy because a lot of you are going to tune up media.com. it is the number one selling plugin for itunes and Windows Media player and fixes all your music so it totally cleans up your itunes. All those track zero ones and missing album art and all the stuff that's like messed up about your itunes, it goes in it clean, intelligently identifies and fills in missing information using acoustic fingerprinting, the same technology that powers Shazam for the iPhone. So no more gray notes and missing cover art and all that stuff. But you can try Tune up for free by downloading Tune Up Light and you can get 20% off tune up Gold with promo code Sex with Emily. So go to tuneupmedia.com I like that like that.

I do. I really like their commercials too.

Aren't they hilarious? Yeah, yeah they do hilarious commercials. They really do. Hey Emily Menace My name is Mike, I'm married and I live in Utah. I love to listen to your podcast when I'm out of town for work. It makes my time go very quickly. We've been married for 11 years. My wife isn't into masturbation. We have a healthy and imaginative sex life and we are willing to try anything with each other for a long time. I encouraged my wife to masturbate more for a few reasons. I agree with what you are saying that everyone needs to explore their own sexuality and learn what makes them feel good. And let's be honest, I find the image of my wife pleasing herself very hot. We know that pretty much all of women do it and it's part of sexuality. The thing is, she isn't into it. We have bought several great brand name toys, books, et cetera. And she tries, takes time to herself, sets the mood, relaxes, and while she finds it pleasurable and relaxing, she just doesn't reach orgasm. Only one time in the shower with the nozzle. She was able to reach orgasm without any help from me. She loves for me to play with her using toys and fingers and loves to touch herself during sex. But she can't come by herself. After a while we talked about it and decided that it just doesn't matter. Our sex life isn't lacking. She has no trouble at all reaching orgasm when we play together and she isn't dysfunctional at all. I don't want it to be a chore, a thing that she keeps failing at. So she decided she will try it occasionally if she feels like it and not worry about it. It's not her thing and it doesn't hurt either one of us. Keep it up. We love the show. Come to Salt Lake and eat at Red Rock Brewery sometime. Mike in Salt Lake City. Love Salt Lake City. So he's saying that they were having issues with orgasm, and she just. They decided not to put all the pressure on it. I think a lot times people put so much pressure on orgasms, and it sounds like she can still do it sometimes if she's. I mean, I have a lot of friends who can't. Not a lot. Many, many women that I meet, I always say friends, but I become friends a lot of people. Many women that I know cannot have orgasms. Like, either they're on medication or they can't have orgasms during intercourse. But you still really enjoy sex. Like, there's nothing wrong if you can't. It's all in. Your orgasms are amazing, but you can't have them every time. That's fine. They sound like very connected, happy couple.

I went and had sushi.

Down story. Yeah.

Utah was amazing.

You always. You've talked about that before.

Yeah, I don't know. I talked about. Not too many podcasts ago. I talked about how there's this girl that I know in Salt Lake City, Utah, and we just became friends over the Internet. We talk on the phone. We talk all the time, but we never met each other because every time she's in San Francisco, like, I'll be somewhere else. And, like, if I'm there, she like.

Two ships that pass in the night.

Yeah.

Is she going to come visit?

I don't know.

Are you gonna hook up with someone tonight when you get really drunk?

Maybe. What are you doing later?

I'm around. I'm going to see play. Oh, okay. Thanks. Okay, this is just random.

Can I. Can I do. Because we got to learn. We're gonna start learning front selling and, like, telling people, like, you need to check this out later. Can I challenge you to something?

Yes.

Are you ready to take it on?

Yeah.

All right, next show, you're gonna describe your last sexual encounter. Can you do that? You don't have to say who it is or who it's what, but how it went down from, like, beginning to end, like, from the date, what you did, all the way to the end and tell the guy did the walk of shame. Can you do that or no?

What made you think of that?

I just, you know, because it's a good idea. You gotta build cliffhangers to get people.

That's a great idea. I'll do that. Hopefully I'll have sex this week. I think I will.

Okay. You try really hard.

I'm gonna have sex this week.

Okay.

For Sure, I know. One night I will.

All right.

I have a date. Okay, perfect. I think I will describe it. That's a great good thing. Point.

All right.

Because we gotta do that stuff. And you guys all want to know anyway because when I wrote on my Facebook page or when I was doing this contest last week on Twitter giving away sex toys, which you should all join, I. A lot of people said, I really enjoy your shows. When you interview women about their sex life, why don't you talk about your own sex life?

Yeah, they want to know how you get down and dirty.

Dude, I get down and dirty. Dear Emily, have to say I really think it's funny the way Mena says wiener from Brian.

Thanks, Brian. I try to say it as often as I can.

Okay, so let's get into some Kegel exercises because I am a huge Kegel fan. This is what they are. And Kegel camp is my new iPhone app. You can get it in the itunes store or on your phone. However you do it with your iPhone.

You go to the app store and you type in Kegel camp and you sex with Emily.

Kegel Camp. Kegel Camp, Sex family. I haven't even seen. I mean, I've seen it, but it's not out yet. But it's out when you're listening. Okay, so Kegel exercises are for men and for women, they are the muscles. They are those pee stopping muscles. So you know when you're going to the bathroom and you're peeing and then someone, you think someone's coming and you stop. That muscle that you use to stop the flow of urine is your Kegel. You found it. So what you do is you practice, you do repetitions. It's the same for men and women where you hold it for five seconds and you release for five seconds and then you hold it for 10 seconds. So you do a lot of different repetitions. You do like 10 sets of holding it for 5 seconds or 3 seconds and releasing, and then you hold it for 10 seconds and you release. So here's why Kegels are so important for women. They can be good for women who are experiencing anything like as a result of childbirth or changes in the body. A lot of times women have problem with keeping with their flow of urine after they have kids have issues. It helps with that strengthens your PC muscles. And it also, a lot of women talk about it intensifies their orgasms if they strengthen these muscles. It's like any other muscle in your body. And you can do them anywhere. You can do them like Sitting in a traffic light, sitting at work. Like, I'm doing them right now. I don't know if I can talk and do Kegels, but I probably can if I got good practice. So you could do it anytime. And you got to locate your muscles, make sure that you're not using. Sometimes people get confused, and they use, like, their buttocks or other muscles. You got to make sure it's the Kegel exercise. It's the Kegel muscles. And you just use sets of repetition. You do use sets of repetitions, and you just. You'll see my app. It's awesome. It has a reminder on it that pops up and tells you when to do it, and it walks you through all how to do it. And it's my voice saying, tense, relax. Tense, relax. It's kind of cool. So for men, this is what Kegels do for men. It helps them control ejaculation. If they have stronger Kegel muscles, it will help. And a lot of men have issues with around premature ejaculation, so they're also really embarrassed to bring it up, and men don't want to talk about it. So strengthening Kegels has been shown to have helped men with ejaculation and control their orgasms. Another thing that I've heard a lot about is that I probably have done this, but not that I can remember it a long time, that women, when you're having intercourse and you have strong Kegel muscles, you can clench those Kegel muscles onto your partner's penis, and it feels amazing. Clench, really? Have you ever had a woman do that to you?

Yes.

How amazing does it feel?

It does feel amazing.

Does it?

Yeah.

It's because she does her Kegels. I'm gonna bring back Kegels. I think it's gonna be like going to the gym. Like, everyone around is gonna be doing Kegels. You're like, she's doing her Kegels. Like, honk if you're doing Kegels. Like, I'm gonna sell bumper stickers and stuff. Yeah. Do you think I should.

I think you should take that to the bank.

Okay. So these are daily exercises that you have to do. Everyone start doing them. You can do them five minutes a day. You can do them while you're masturbating. You can do them while you're having sex with your partner. You can. Yeah. Find time to do them anywhere you're at.

I really. I'm really excited, actually, to see what.

I say about Kate.

You are how it works with the sound and everything. Like that.

It's really cool. I have to say I'm really, really proud of it. I think it looks amazing.

Cool.

We already got a good. Yeah, we got a good review. Someone saw it ahead of time so I'm psyched. Yay everyone. Go buy it. Helps me, helps my life.

Good.

Helps you. All right everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackextwithemily.com.

Thanks for tuning in to Sex With Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations is a sex positive company based in San Francisco with an amazing website. I got my very first vibrator from Good Vibrations so I hold a soft spot in my heart for them. They have a huge online store@goodvibes.com you can find literally anything on there from toys to DVDs to games. Just click on the Good vibrations banner@sexwithemily.com and enter GVshipMily for free shipping. So check it out. You'll help yourself and you'll help keep Sex with Emily free. Just like it should be. Thanks for listening. I promise your sex life will improve.

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