SWE: Prostate Play

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

The girl's got.

Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you will improve your sex life just by visiting the website and listening to the shows. We promise that if you become a Friends with Benefits member, you get three shows a week. You get lots of perks, lots of benefits. We answer your emails right away. We're like your personal sex coaches and relationship coaches here at Sex with Emily. So thanks everyone for listening to the show and for following us on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily. And I'm here with the White Menace.

Hi.

How you doing today?

I'm great. How are you?

I'm very good. I Met Will Ferrell today.

Wow, that is so exciting. Tell me about it.

That's exciting. Yeah, it was cool. He has some new movie coming, of course, and it's all in Spanish, too. Like, he's speaking Spanish.

Wow.

Entire movie, I have not seen it. I can't even pronounce the name of the movie, but if you. Spanish.

Was he funny or can read Spanish? Because you know how sometimes people are funny but not funny.

Yeah, he was actually funny in person. He showed up in, like, these really, like, crazy pants. We thought they were pajamas, but they're actually, like, golf pants.

Okay.

And they go. Do you go golfing often? He goes, no. He goes, I'm just a. I'm just a really big fan of the attire.

That's hilarious. That's funny. That's a good day. I didn't meet anyone interesting today except for Charlie Glickman, our guest on the show. I've met him before, but I'm very excited. We have a guest today, Charlie Glickman. He's the education program manager at Good vibrations. He's a D.O. ph.D. In sex. Right.

Sex.

So he can answer all of our sex questions. Today he's gonna help me out. And we're gonna be talking a lot about prostate pleasure for men. Because, you know, it comes up on the show, a lot of men are a little fearful of it, straight men in particular. And he's gonna talk about the benefits of it and some other sex stuff.

Everything that you've been talking about in the past, I don't know, couple weeks. It's really just been in the past year, I believe, in the past year. Maybe I'm just ignorant, which I usually am, that it's been more and more in the mainstream. That definitely. And people are talking about it.

They are talking about it more. I think that might be true. There might be a trend towards that. So we're gonna give you all the information you need to experience the most incredible pleasure of your life that you've not yet experienced.

Cool.

So we're talking about that. We've got some sex in the news. We've got your emails, and I also gotta mention a giveaway that we're doing this week. Every year on March 8, its global recognition is given to the economic, political, and social achievements of women throughout history. So in honor of International Women's Day, we're offering a product giveaway from Trigg Laboratories. Wet natural beauty. Beautifully bare. It's a personal lubricant, so all you gotta do is follow us on Facebook and Twitter. We'll give you details how to win that lubricant. I love lube. You know, I'm a huge lube fan.

Big lube fan.

I want a lube on every nightstand. That's just what I want in the world.

You want the gasoline truck, but it's full of lube.

Exactly. It's like a huge pump of lube or something. That's just. That's what I want for everyone. I think it's important. Damn. Is that too much to ask?

Really?

And yeah, that's what I got. So I haven't been doing. I'm trying to think. Would I.

Is there anything going on in your life?

In my life?

Just.

Just.

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot going on.

You always say there's a lot going on, but then you never.

But it's not that you're saying it's work. It's work. It's whatever. But I've been seeing someone, you know, that I'm into. He's cute. You met him the other night.

Yeah.

You've met him. He's nice.

I've met him.

Nice guy. Things are going well. It's actually going so well that I have nothing to say. It was more fun when I was dating.

This is your freakout time then.

No. Well, maybe. Maybe I'll be freaking out.

Oh, my God.

It's going so good. I must self destruct, like every woman.

Exactly. No, I don't do that. But I thought it was interesting. Like last summer when I was dating three guys at once. And then that was more. There was more stories about the interactions. But right now things are good now.

Having just a regular relationship.

A regular relationship. It's so boring. It is kind of boring. Well, that's the problem, is that I'm bored. No, I'm not bored yet. But I'll let you guys know. You guys will be the first ones to know when I'm bored.

Yeah.

Yeah. What's up with you? Besides meeting Will Ferrell?

Will Ferrell? Nothing. I'm just gearing up to go to Southern California for Coachella music festival.

Oh, I'm so envious. When are you leaving?

You're gonna go 10 days?

Yeah, I'm gonna be. I'm going both weekends. So I'm gone.

It's end of March though, right?

Middle of April.

Oh, okay. So I'm not worried. I'm not worried about you being gone yet. Because then I get sad and cry.

I know.

As I often do.

And then everything gets all messed up.

All the audience. But I really wanted Coachella. It's an amazing festival.

It is.

Especially the time I had sex backstage.

I know you share that with me all the time. Every time I bring up Coachella, that's.

What I think about. I thought it was really fun.

No bands that were amazing.

I don't remember any bands. Madonna was there. Okay, but I had sex backstage.

Cool, right?

Okay, so we've got some sex in the news for you today.

What do you have?

This is. This is repulsive. South Carolina Republicans are not allowed to have premarital sex. So as of last Tuesday, if you're hoping to get onto the primary ballot in Lawrence County, South Carolina, you'll have to sign a Republican Party pledge stating you've never had premarital sex and that you will never, ever look at porn again.

No way.

These additions were made to the typical conservative ideals, upholding gun rights and opposing abortion and are meant to weed out possible immoral future candidates. I can't believe this stuff is still happening in our world.

That is not real.

It's totally. It's absolutely real.

A county. A county.

A county. Lawrence County, S.C. if you want to get on the ballot and run, you have to state that you've never had premarital sex and you won't look at porn. And like, if you want to get on the ballot, you're going to do anything you can to get on the ballot, but still. So a bunch of people are gonna be lying.

Well, thank God, because I've never had premarital sex.

Right, of course. And you don't like porn, so you actually could run.

I will run.

Oh, you will. You will run. But that's actually true and upsetting. Okay, good news for smoothies. Women don't like beards. Sorry, sorry. To both my men here.

Women don't like beards.

I don't know. That's what they say. After showing photos of the same men, bearded and clean shaven, to a group of 200 women from New Zealand and Samoa, research has concluded that women prefer a smooth faced man.

But that's in Samoa.

And I know, I'm just telling you, right? I'm not saying it's America. So the Samoan women were chosen because their island is isolated from Western trends, so they'd be less likely to go for the hipster beard look. Interestingly, though, men who were shown the same photos found bearded men to be more commanding, of respect, and possibly more aggressive. This suggests that beards may be an evolutionary tool to scare off other men. Is that why you have your beard?

Yes, it's to scare off every other man around.

How's that working for you? Everyone is kind of scared of you because you're kind of mean.

Yeah, I'm just a dick. It's not because of the beard, but.

You'Re still lovable inside. But you are just kind of a dick if people don't know you.

Yeah, but you know, the whole. At least on the coast that I know, and the. The big cities, the. The New Yorks and the San Franciscos and the Los Angeles. The hipster. The hipster mustache is out of control.

I know.

It is so. It's so in to have a hipster mustache.

I know.

It makes me want to be.

I don't like the mustache thing, but I like the beard. I actually personally like the beard.

I have the beard just because I'm pale to, like, cover up.

You always talk about the pale. Can I buy you tanning salon gift certificates for your next birthday?

I would love.

Would you go?

I would. Hell yeah, I would go.

Because I do hear you complain about the tan thing a lot. Yeah. And then you get laid more.

I don't do the stand up one. I want this.

Yeah. Would they spray you?

No, no, no, no, not spraying.

Oh, you want to do the booth.

Yeah, I want to do.

I'm so bad for you. I'm not letting you do that. Yeah, honey, that's bad for you.

Yeah, but the other thing is it stinks. It stinks and doesn't get in between the fingers.

Yeah, but you wash your hands. There's a whole thing that you do.

It's terrible.

Okay, well, I'm not getting it for you because I don't want you to die. Justin Bieber celebrates his legality with $11 million love nest. So he just turned 18, and for his 18th birthday, he. Justin Bieber. 10.8 million on a Hollywood Hills mansion currently rented by Ashton Kutcher. He hopes to turn the sprawling pad into a love nest for himself and Selena Gomez. They shouldn't be living together at 18 PS looking over lake Hollywood. The home features a private movie theater, a gym, a gourmet kitchen, a massage room, and a bar area that Bieber won't be allowed to use. Use for the next three years.

Oh, yeah. For real. He's never going to use.

That's crazy. $11 million house. He started on YouTube. We started on. We do stuff on YouTube. Why aren't I buying an $11 million sprawling metal.

Yeah, I have a little tiny kid that can play a guitar.

That's true.

And sing. That's True, but.

He'S buying a house for his mom too. That's a good kid.

That's a sweet. That is a good kid.

Yeah.

Love it. Okay.

And he might have sex for the first time ever with Selena Gomez since he is 18.

That's all right. But he's had sex before for sure.

No way.

Guess way. Swear to God. Okay, There's a Manhattan soccer mom busted for running a high profile brothel in New York. 44 year old Anna, an upstate New York mother of four kids has been indicted for managing a sex ring out of an East 70th apartment. For the last 15 years, she made millions by catering to powerful politicians, top law enforcement officers, lawyers, bankers, entertainment execs, and Fortune 500 businessmen especially. As well as extremely rich European clients. But she finally slipped up when she arranged a liaison in which minors were involved. Because her black book is currently sealed by investigators, it is unknown which politicians are involved in the scandal. I'm just gonna bet all of them. No, most of them.

Well, at least from the one from the home. The home state.

Yeah, no, I know, but all the politicians are like we talked about yesterday, how what face is doing the. The contest. The hustler guys doing the contest for anyone who had an affair with the politician. He's offering a million dollars for all the details.

Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of whores out there that would love to get their hands on that million dollars.

Exactly. But. Yeah, exactly. We talked about that yesterday. And I've had interactions with politicians, but nobody that would be that interesting.

Yeah, you need somebody high profile to get that million.

Exactly. Do you have any more sex in the news from your news on tmz?

No, just, you know, there. We've talked about it yesterday. It's still pretty big. Is the Olivia Munn and the Hendrix.

Who cares? Their boobs. I haven't seen them yet.

They're hot women.

Right? So their boobs are everywhere now because.

They have their phones, they have the photos. Yeah, Olivia Munn had some. Like her in like crazy lingerie and stuff like that.

Hot.

Yeah. Like she was definitely like posing for the cameras. But this the other, the Hendrix girl, you could tell that she was just like taking pictures for her boyfriend and st.

It wasn't like everyone, stop taking the nude pictures. I just have to say it every day like it's the dumbest thing you can do. Someone's gonna find them hacking your phone. Someone's gonna get. You're gonna send to a guy that you madly in love with and you trust to the end of time. And then you're gonna break up with them tomorrow. And there goes your pictures on Facebook.

They'll be everywhere. Oh, actually, there was this one chick. I don't know her last name, but I know her first name. Her name is Adrian. And she's also the ex girlfriend of Robert Kardashian, the youngest boy.

And she was on a Runway, and I don't know what she was thinking, but she was wearing a dress that only like from the neck down covered. So it covered her front area. But a wind came and she wasn't wearing any underwear.

Oh, stupid.

And then so here's like a billion photographers taking photos, and it's all online.

Oh, my God. Wear underwear too, people. Wear underwear. And keep your clothes on. Yeah, that's all I gotta say. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Okay, we can move into some emails now.

All right, let's do it.

Okay, thanks everyone for emailing us@feedbackexwithemily.com Remember, if you're a friends benefits member, your emails go straigh to the top. We answer your emails right away. And we just love hearing from you. So thanks for emailing us. You can also email us through Facebook and Twitter and whatever feels good to you. Dear Emily, I just want to take time to say thanks for the show about changing relationship patterns. It's my favorite so far. That's all I got. Deborah, Overland Park, Kansas. She's a premium friends as benefits member. She loved our relationship pattern show. That was last week. We talked about how we all get stuck in relationship patterns and how to break those patterns.

Yeah, how about.

That was a good show. How about me? Do I break patterns? For sure, I've broken patterns. Only develop new ones. Hopefully they're all more evolved, though, you know what I mean? Like, as you move along through the patterns in life, we all have patterns and people we still date over and over again, maybe the same types. And we just talked about exercises that you can do to break those patterns. So you should go back and listen to that show. Do you have patterns? Can we talk about that? You did not admit your patterns that I pointed out for you. So I won't even go through.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Because you're always wrong on the patterns.

No, I was absolutely right, which is why you were so upset.

No.

Okay. Dear Emily, let's move Charlie in now. Okay, Charlie. Okay, Charles Glickman.

Wait, I have to give him a microphone, too. I forgot to put that over there.

Okay, sorry. We're gonna give you a Mic, Charlie Glickman is a star. He is the staff educator. You are the education program manager at Good Vibrations. Okay. We love good vibes. I've talked about good vibes. If you don't live in here, should we get it? Should we go closer?

Got it.

We're good. Okay. So Good Vibrations is probably my favorite store in San Francisco, and they have some. How many there's in Boston and there's. How many stores in the Bay Area now? Four or five.

We've got one in Boston, four in San Francisco, and two in the East Bay.

Okay. It's the most amazing store. Sex toy store, sex education. You walk in there and you feel like you. You just. You feel like the most. You feel so accepted, and you feel like your needs are being taken care of. If you have any sex questions or you want to buy toys, vibrators, anything that you want to get into, you can just talk to them like you're talking about what you had for lunch, and they make you feel very comfortable and happy.

Yeah.

You've been talking about them forever, and you always. I'm surprised you didn't share the story that you always share about. It was the first place that you ever Sex.

It was the first.

Went into.

Right. I wanted a G spot vibrator, and I brought the G spot book. And I was like, hi. And I was a little embarrassed and nervous, like, oh, no problem. And they just talk to you like it's just the most. Because it is the most normal thing in the world for Good Vibrations.

That makes me really happy to hear. Because that's what we try to do.

Oh, my God. It's so comfortable. And you just feel like. And then you don't want to leave because you're like, I've got all other questions. And then there's all the books and all the movies and all the DVDs that you sell.

And we love talking to people about sex.

Yeah, they do. And it's just like a happy place.

Are you going to accept responsibility for the downward spiral that her relationships have gone since going to your store?

What do you.

What downward spiral?

Stop.

I can't take responsibility for that.

No.

I'm not saying that her sex life didn't improve, but all my sex choice. Yeah. I think if she could marry the vibrator, she would.

No, the trick is to bring the vibrators into your sex life.

Exactly, Exactly. Exactly.

And then it's a win win. Then it's a win win.

I always say that it's like your new best friend, like, Anyone who still has issues with vibrators, I have a problem with them because I think that you can realize men have to realize that they should not be threatened or women should not be threatened by vibrators because it truly can enhance your sex life.

And 70% of women need some kind of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Vibrators, hands, whatever. So just make it part of what you do.

What's the best selling clitoral vibrator? Because I'm always recommending them. But what would you say is the best or the one that you recommend the most? If someone's just starting out and they want to use it during intercourse, what do you like today?

What do I like today? I actually.

There's so many new things, you know.

Lately I've been a big fan of some of the smaller bullet vibes because they're smaller, they're more out of the way. Or even something like the Leia by Fun Factory.

Oh, okay.

Because it follows the curve of the body so that it's not right in the middle of everything. Because if you're having closers, there's like.

Curves like that, right?

Yeah. It looks almost like a computer mouse.

Oh, yeah, I've seen those. Okay. That's a good one. Okay. Also, if you want to buy anything that we talk about today, you go to goodvibes.com, you use coupon code GVMILY15 and you get 15% off anything at all from Good Vibrations.

What a bargain.

What a bargain. Such a deal. So, okay, we wanted to talk to you. We'll just do some emails first and then we're getting into some prostate.

Okay, Bring it.

Okay. Dear Emily, I've not had to use condoms for 15 plus years, but now I'm divorced and dating again. In which case the women have all. In which case women have all the advantages still. So if that care package from Lifestyle could find its way to me, it would be nice. I have a bunch of. Lifestyle sent me a bunch of condoms, so I'm gonna gift people. I did send a full recap of Vegas at the cs, but I'm not sure if it ever made it to. You guys need to go to the show to do the show there. And I normally agree with Menace, but on Friday's show, three, two. I would have to disagree with him about. BJ's hands are good. Don't be rough. Don't be rough. It's not a chew toy. And the girl being enthusiastic is good. I want to know what she's enjoying herself as. I Want to know? She's enjoying herself as much as I am. Sex is always a two way street. It's as good to give as to get. Great show from Mike. He's a premium friends with benefits member from Indiana. So what's he saying? What were we talking about? Blowjobs and hand jobs again?

Yeah, the whole hand job debate. I thought buried into the ground.

We have buried into the ground, but Charlie doesn't know.

But this guy does make a good point. Enthusiasm counts.

Enthusiasm is huge, Right?

In surveys they've done over and over again, especially for oral sex. Technique goes a long way, but technique without enthusiasm just doesn't get you anywhere.

Exactly.

What you really need is the enthusiasm. And then you can learn whatever technique this particular partner likes.

Right? Exactly. And you gotta ask your partner what they like or figure it out together. So. I've heard that too, from a lot of men. It's all about enthusiasm, like being into it.

I'm a big fan of the either or way to figure out what somebody likes. You try A, you try B, and then you ask, what did you like more?

Right. Oh, that's good. Give them the choice.

Yeah. Because if you just ask your partner, what do you like? Half the time they don't know or they don't know how to put it into words.

That's a great. That's a great tip. You're so right. Because actually yesterday, one of my interns, we were talking about oral sex because she's been performing oral sex. She will remain nameless right now. But she was talking about how she was so confused because she's with a new guy and he was like, she didn't know what he wanted and she asked him and he wouldn't tell her, but then he wasn't happy with what she was doing. And then she got really insecure about it.

That happens.

And I think I was telling her, I'm like, I'm sure you're fine. You're doing an okay job. It's important to ask, but that's great to be like, do you like it with my hand or do you like it just with my mouth? Or whatever it is.

Another good way to do it is ask somebody, scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like what I'm doing now? And now scale of 1 to 10, do you like what I'm doing now? And that way you can actually measure. Oh, well, this got a four, but this other thing got a seven. We're gonna stick with a seven.

Yeah, that's a great tip. That's A great way to do it. Because when you feel kind of weird, if a woman's like, what do you like? You're like, everything feels. Or do you tell them?

No? No, I tell them. Yeah. I also tell them that they're doing a bad job and direct them in the right way.

But that's rare. That's rare. A lot of guys don't know how to do that.

Yeah. They're like, you're saying this guy was afraid to say that? Like, no. It's like, yeah, you're really bad at giving blowjobs, but we're gonna work together and make you better.

She felt. She was feeling so down, she could barely. She was depressed. She stayed. Talk to me about it. And I was like, you're doing fine. I gave her some books.

I mean, well, just have her give me a blowjob and then I can.

Tell her, okay, you'd like it.

Tell her how to do it better.

Why didn't I think of that?

It's always good to see someone willing to take one for the team. Exactly.

So benevolent.

I could help your friends.

I know.

He's a giver.

He's a total giver.

I love that. Then she can probably do a better job on whatever guy she's hanging out with.

Exactly. She doesn't have a ton of experience, so she's learning. Okay. Hi, guys. The reason for my email is to ask you about the female G spot orgasm. Are they different from normal orgasms? If so, what's the best way to give my wife one? Is there a particular position that is better than others? Keep up the good work. Thanks for the show. Daniel from Florida. I'm going to pass this along to you, Charlie, because I know that you talk about this probably a lot.

I talk about this all the time. What a lot of folks say is that G spot orgasms feel more full body. Feels like it's happening all over your body instead of just focused on your clitoris or on your genitals. A lot of women say that they can have multiple orgasms through G spot play. And some folks can even ejaculate sometimes a little bit. Sometimes a lot. So, yeah, a lot of people do say it feels really different. Easiest way to find the G spot, get somebody turned on first.

Right.

Because when someone gets turned on, the G spot engorges with fluid. It becomes much easier to find.

Wait, hold on. You know how to find the G spot?

Yes. Minus. We talk about this.

Indeed.

No way.

I wouldn't be any good at my job if I couldn't tell you how to find the G spot? Yeah, let him keep.

We've talked about it, but keep going. Yeah, no, because you're the doctor here. He's telling you officially.

He's like Indiana Jones and going in the temple and finding the.

I want the hat and the whip now.

Yeah, right. Exactly. Done. Okay. So he has to wait. Right. You have to be stimulated first.

So get turned on first doing something that she already likes. The G spot's a couple of inches inside the vagina on the front wall. So basically, if somebody's lying on their back and you insert a finger and curl it up towards the belly button, for most folks, you'll find a spot that feels a little bit bigger or feels rougher. It might feel a little bit firmer than the surrounding tissue. And that right there is the G spot. A lot of people find it accidentally just kind of having fun with their partner, and they've never read a book or seen a movie or a website, and they just find this spot that feels different than everything else, which I think is kind of cool, because it means that you don't necessarily need to.

I know. I hate those women. Just kidding. It happens to a lot of women. That didn't happen for me. I had to find it. I had to go searching. I had to go to Good Vibrations and buy a G spot vibrator and the book.

And you found it?

Yeah.

Excellent.

Thank you.

Excellent.

That's one of the reasons why I love Good Vibrations.

That's what we'd like to hear. Some positions that work really well with her on her back, maybe with a pillow under her hips to lift her up a bit. Elbows and knees can work pretty well for some folks, too, although it does get a little tiring after a while. And some ways to pleasure it once you have found it with your fingers. With one or two fingers, you can do a come here motion. A lot of people call that the come hither come hither.

Right.

Which I think is hilarious because that's the only time I've ever heard the word hither used in conversation.

They always say that. I'm like, it's the come hither motion.

Right? It's the come hither motion. Circles, clockwise or counterclockwise, tapping, stroking. And don't forget your other hand or use your mouth on the clitoris, because combining different types of stimulation can multiply instead of just adding up.

That was perfect.

How do I do that with my penis?

You don't have a G spot on your penis?

It depends. It depends.

Oh, how do you find the G spot with your penis. Sorry, sorry.

I thought it can vary. It depends on the size and shape and curve of the penis. I've talked to guys whose penises have a very.

Upward curve to it, and they find that just regular thrusting hits. It's the G spot for a lot of female partners.

Those lucky son of a bitches.

Yeah, you know, it works out that way sometimes with the burnt. But on the other hand, it did. He said that it did make blowjobs more tricky. So, you know, you gain something, you lose something. Right?

It's bittersweet.

I remember back in the 80s when I saw porn.

This guy had like this crazy curved penis. It was insane.

That's probably why he was in porn.

That can happen. But if your penis is not curved like that, if you thrust, sort of aiming the head of the penis towards the belly button, sort of from the inside, that might hit it depending on individual anatomy.

But if you're just starting out, it's good to start with the fingers. And there are some special toys. G spot vibrators.

G spot vibrators usually have a curved tip and that'll sort of hook up behind the pubic bone and reach the G spot. Like the G swirl or. I'm a big fan of the Jiji. That's another.

Oh, what's in the gg? I don't know that one.

The Jiji. It's made by Lilo and it is silicone, so it's non porous body safe, easy to clean, and it's quiet.

Oh, I love the quiet.

You know, if you have thin apartment walls, as many people do here in.

San Francisco, my neighbors hate me because I love the Hitachi, so what can you do?

You know, I once talked to a woman who was looking for a quieter vibrator because her downstairs neighbor was complaining about her vacuuming at 2 in the morning.

That is hilarious. Go for something quiet. Do they have a muffler to put on the Hitachi?

You know, they don't.

It's not a bad idea.

It's not a bad idea, but Hitachi doesn't like to admit that people use their vibrators.

Oh, that's right. That's right. Okay, we won't talk about that.

What do they say they use it.

For a back massager.

Massager. It looks like a back massager.

Oh, really?

Although I will say I've had tendonitis twice and using a vibrator on my arms felt kind of kinky.

Yeah, it does really.

But it works.

It does work. It does Work. I've used it on my back before and other places. Hitachi Magic Wand.

Because I was always trying to figure out. Because they always talked about the Hitachi Magic wand as I never knew. This is new information.

Okay.

That it was a sex toy. And I was always trying to figure out was it the same Hitachi that made my television that was making this product.

As far as I know.

So now it makes sense that they don't think it's.

They don't. Yeah.

It's sex product.

And it doesn't look like you could leave it out.

After all these years of you talking.

I don't know, Mana. Because you never. You didn't have to. Have to show it to you. You haven't come over and looked at my sex toy collection lately. I need to get rid of my couch because I have so many sex toys in my house. But it's.

You need to get a couch that has storage underneath it.

I know, that's another option. I got a bed with storage underneath it. Maybe my couch too. Okay. Dear Emily, this one's for you. And then we're start. We're gonna talk about prostate. Male prostate. Dear Emily, I'm a 40 year old male, I'm trying to get into prostate massage. I was wanting to know if it works. This is Robert from Bay City, Texas. Charlie Glickman, the floor is yours.

Fantastic. Okay, let me start off just by saying that for any men out there who have had prostate exams at the Dr. I hear this from a lot of men. They say, you know, I had a prostate exam, it didn't feel very good. So I guess this just isn't my thing.

Right.

Doctors are trained to do prostate exams without it feeling good. They don't want it to hurt, but they don't want you to sue them for sexual harassment. But you know, imagine if a woman went to the gynecologist and got a pelvic exam and it was uncomfortable as they can be and said, you know, it wasn't fun getting my pelvic exam. So I just must not like intercourse.

That's a great analogy.

Yeah. Not everybody likes intercourse, but that's a separate thing. The prostate, in terms of how to find it, is a lot like the G spot. So everything I was saying before applies to the prostate. Except that you get to the prostate through anal penetration instead of vaginal penetration. So grab a glove, keeps your hand nice and clean. You don't have to worry about nicks on your fingernails, irritating, anything. Get some lube, because everybody needs lube for anal Play. I'm a big fan of silicone lubricants because they don't get sticky, they don't dry out, hypoallergenic, all of that stuff. And instead of just shoving a finger into the anus, which is what you'll see in porn movies, but instead, kind of press the tip of the finger up against the anus and have the person on the receiving end bear down. Kind of like in the same way as if you're going to the bathroom.

Okay.

And what happens is the muscle opens up and relaxes, and then the finger can kind of slip inside.

Okay.

You want to work with the body, so you take a nice slow inhale. As you exhale and bear down very gently. Press in with your fingertip. And don't go any faster than the body wants to go. It takes a lot of practice to be able to receive anal penetration.

Right.

This is one of the problems with porn. The people in porn use lube and they warm up. It all happens before they turn the tornado.

Right, Exactly. You cannot learn how to have sex through porn. You really can't.

Learning to have sex from porn would be like learning how to drive from watching a car chase movie. Someone's going to get hurt, Right?

Exactly. That's so true. That's so true.

But just like with the G spot, the prostate actually fills up with fluid when you get turned on, too. So start off with something you already like. Oral sex, intercourse, masturbation, watching a porn movie, whatever it is. Once you have the finger inserted into the anus, it's the same thing. A few inches inside and curl up towards the belly button. The prostate is. It has kind of the texture of a ripe plum. So that's what you're looking for. And when you do prostate massage or prostate stimulation, the guy on the receiving end might feel like he needs to pee. That's partly because the prostate fills up and then presses on the bladder and also stimulates the neck of the bladder. But it's a very different sensation once you get used to it.

Okay, so that's how you do it. He wants to know, so is it the kind of thing he's talking about, the massage? Like, is it something that someone would have to do for him? Or you're saying he could even do it for himself, or you can't give yourself a massage?

It depends on the person. Depending on how long your arms are, how flexible your wrists are, some people can stimulate their own prostate with their hand. Other folks will do prostate massage with a toy, with a vibrator. But it is a little bit easier to find on someone else with a finger.

Okay, now are we injuring ourselves by doing this?

Nope. As long as you are careful to go nice and slow. With anal penetration, no rough edges. You don't have long fingernails, anything like that. Prostate massage isn't gonna cause any harm. And there's some evidence that it can actually help with certain health conditions, like enlarged prostates.

That's amazing. So if male. Okay, so the prostate massage. Are men gonna get the same pleasure, like orgasmic pleasure from the massage, or is that something different?

What do you mean?

Well, like, if they're having the prostate massage or like the anal penetration, which we're gonna get into. Like, I was thinking this is kind of a prostate 101 we were gonna go through here. So we just did. We talked about how to find it. And then our. Our person who wrote in was asking about the massage. His name is Robert from Bay City, Texas. He was thinking about getting into prostate massage. Now why would he get into prostate massage?

Because it feels really good.

Feels like.

Feels amazing.

Men, and they're not gonna feel this any other way, but to get something, I mean, you can't get a prostate. You have to go through this. You have to insert something into your anus. Men.

Well, you can do a little. You can do some indirect prostate massage through the perineum, right through the area between the testicles and the anus. But the thing is, there's more tissue there, so you get much less direct stimulation. It's like massaging somebody who's wearing a big puffy down parka versus somebody who's not wearing any clothes.

Right.

The sensation is more spread out. But that's a really fun way to add a little prostate stimulation too.

Okay. You can do that if you're not ready for insertion. So. So break down. So what are some of the myths you think that we have about the prostate?

There's three that come up over and over again about prostate play. Prostate massage.

Prostate play. Yeah.

One of them is that the folks who like it are gay. Or if you like it, it's going to make you gay. And it's interesting. There's a study that came out last year sometime they surveyed gay men about their most recent sexual experience. And only 40% of them said that anal penetration was part of their most recent sexual experience. So most of the time, gay men are doing lots of other stuff. Now I'm pretty confident that gay men are more likely to try anal play. There's more conversation about it in the gay community. Sure. But at the same time, a lot of men of other sexual orientations like it too. And that's because the types of stimulation you like, that's where your nerve endings are. Who you want to have sex with is your sexual orientation. So if you are not interested in doing prostate massage with another man, then whatever your sexual orientation is, you're not gay, if you see what I mean.

Right.

The two things are very far apart. So that's one. The second one is that it's going to hurt. And yeah, it's true. Anal play, if it's not done correctly, can hurt, but that doesn't mean that it necessarily has to. It means you have to know how to do it right. So nice and slow, use lots of lube, all that kind of thing. And then the third one is that if we start doing anal play, that it's going to be dirty or I'm going to hurt myself. And the grain of truth to those things is that it is possible to do things badly and hurt yourself in any kind of sexual activity. The trick is knowing how to do it right.

Right. Okay. Which is what we talked about a little bit here, how to do it right. So, okay, so what about in other ways? If you don't use your finger, then there's like pegging and prostate play for like we're talking about, I guess, for heterosexual couples right now. So what are the best toys for these or what's the best way to go about this?

Well, for pegging, so that's when women use strap on harnesses to penetrate a male partner.

Strap on harnesses with a dildo on it.

With a dildo or some vibrators work as well, but pretty much a dildo. And for a lot of people, they may be a little hesitant to try that because they think that there's some gender play going on or some power play. Those are perfectly fine ways to have sex if that's what you want to do. For other folks, pegging is just a hands free way to hold a dildo because then you've got your hands free for doing other stuff.

I'm a big believer in silicone dildos for pegging disc because for any kind of anal play, they're easier to clean. You can put them in boiling water for five minutes to disinfect them. You can put them in the top rack of a dishwasher. Just make sure that your roommates or your kids are not going to be unpacking the dishwasher.

Exactly, exactly.

We hear stories of good vibrations.

And with harnesses There's a lot of different styles, a lot of different choices. For anal play, I personally usually recommend the machine washable nylon or fabric harnesses, because leather, nothing looks or feels like leather, but it's not machine washable. And you're going to get lube everywhere.

Biscuit, dirty lube. Right.

So you toss your harness in the washing machine and you're good to go.

Okay, so you're good to go. But how do you know? I guess it's communication when you are pegging someone or doing prostate play to know. We talked about using fingers, but when you're putting a dildo in, you have to be much more communicative. Move slow, lots of lube, same kind of thing. And then are you moving in and out? What are you doing?

Well, so there's two pieces I want to touch on here. There's three key ingredients to successful anal play, no matter who's given it and who's receiving it. Relaxation. Already talked about that. Lubrication. Touched on that a bit. And communication. And that's because the anus, the pelvic floor, is really sensitive to your moods and your emotions. You know how when a dog or a cat is scared, their tail kind of tucks under and they kind of hunker down? Human beings have the same physiological response. We're just standing upright and we don't have a tail.

There's a reason why people who are stressed out all the time, we call them tight asses because literally the pelvis and the anus and the pelvic floor all tighten up. So the more you can communicate with your partner. Faster, slower, deeper, more lube. My leg is getting a cramp. The more relaxed you can be, the easier it's going to be for your body.

Got it. And then men can experience this amazing pleasure that they've never experienced experience before. Orgasms. They have orgasms, right?

Absolutely.

It's a different kind of. It feels differently than regular orgasms.

Yeah. Just like G spot orgasms are often described as full body, maybe not quite as focused. Prostate orgasms are usually described as being more full body. Some men can even have multiple orgasms without ejaculating from prostate play. And you can just keep going and going and going.

Yeah. How about that menace?

Sounds amazing.

What are you doing this weekend?

This weekend? How long gonna be in Los Angeles?

Oh, it's a bummer. I thought this was your time. I thought that was your time. So what are some ways that women can now explore the sexuality? We talked about something for men. Is there anything.

Oh, we didn't come back to one piece.

Oh, sorry. No, no, no.

What do you do with the strap on? With pegging.

Yes, go.

And pretty much anything that you could do with fucking somebody with a penis.

Right.

One big advantage to a dildo is that it doesn't inadvertently get soft when you don't want it to or ejaculate sooner than you want it to.

So. Nice.

On the flip side, though, you don't have nerve endings telling you what's going on. So you do need to be a little bit more careful at first until you figure out your groove.

Okay, Got it. That's all good tips. Those are like really, like, we've talked about it and we get a lot of emails about it, but I think that you really broke it down and I think that everyone should go out. And so you said some of your favorite toys here, or these were mostly for anal toys here.

These are some good toys. Yes. You've got the Ineris Prostate massager, which is one of the best hands free prostate massage toys that's been available hands free. So you just put it in and you insert it. And the way it's.

You do a crossword puzzle on the other hand, against your hands or something.

You'D probably be too busy to do crossword puzzles. But you can wear it during oral sex, intercourse, masturbation. Pretty much the only position you can't be in is sitting down, like on a chair or something.

Got it. Narrow prostate, A N E R O S. Okay.

And the way it works is when you contract your pelvic floor, it presses into the prostate.

Oh, cool.

Okay. So you get your Kegel exercises as well.

Kegels. Love the Kegels.

What else do you have on your list there?

A Knight Rider vibrator.

The Knight Rider is a great one because it's the right size to get somebody warmed up for anal play. And it's got a little cross piece on it to keep it from going in too far. One of the important things to know about any anal toy is it has to have three characteristics. It has to be smooth so you don't damage the rectum or the anus because it's more sensitive. It should be made from a material that you can clean or just cover it with a condom. And then the third thing is it needs to have a base or a flange or in the case of the Knight Rider, a little cross piece to keep it from getting lost.

Okay. Yeah.

Because things get put inside people's butts all the time.

You may have to go to the emergency room. You always hear those stories about the emergency room. Things that are pulling out of people's butts. Right. Do you hear those stories all the time?

All the time.

Well, and part of why that happens is because when we are turned on, when we're excited, I think most of us have made, shall we say, less than wise decisions under the influence of arousal. So if you don't have an anal safe toy on your bedside table, you might be tempted to grab that vibrator or that cucumber or whatever. Obviously don't do it because it really can cause some problems.

Okay.

So, yeah, I'm a big fan of the Knight Rider.

Okay. And the naughty boy anal toy.

The naughty boy. You know, it's a. A nice shape because it's made from this material called intramed, which is easy to clean. It's a nice firm material, so it transmits vibration really well. And it's got just the right curve to reach the prostate.

Okay.

So yeah. And there's a little vibrator in the base to go up against the perineum or the testicles. It's a winner.

Awesome. These are great. So if anyone's now intrigued by this today, you can use coupon code GVMILY15 for 15% off@goodvibes.com buy these toys.

And you also have the coupon code@sextonlemy.com.

Yes.

Thank you for saying that. Does it bother you that I read the code?

No, it doesn't bother me that you read the code, but it bothers me that you don't say that it's on the website.

It's on my website. Sexually dot com. Right there at the top.

Because some people might be listening on Stitcher on their mobile phone. They don't have nowhere to write down.

We have to say hi to Stitcher. Hi, Stitcher. Thanks for letting us use your studio. Stitcher is a popular place to listen to podcasts. It's an app. Download it today.

Your smartphone.

Your smartphone.

I usually do a better spiel.

You do, but you're entire. That wasn't just kidding.

And if you want more information about pegging prostate play G spot or anything else on goodvibes.com on our how to pages, we have all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, it's a great website. And your website, charlieglickman.com youm've got a lot of great information on there too. And we'll have that on our website as well.

What's your favorite part about working from for good vibes?

Knowing that right now at this very second, somebody is having a better orgasm because of something I said.

That's amazing. I know. That is true. I like it. Any other questions? Manus?

No, that's it.

Okay. This was awesome. Thank you so much for being on the show, Charlie.

It's been great to be here.

It's been too long. You're gonna come back. We're talking about Women's Day. Oh, really?

Quick, Charlie, the stuff that we discussed is also there some on your website, Your personal website, Charlie.

We just said Charlie glickman.com.

Yeah, but it like, does it break it down on this topic or.

No, not as much. The how to side of stuff I usually keep over on good vibes over on my personal site is more me geeking out about sex, positivity, sex and culture, things like that.

Okay, cool.

Okay, awesome. Thanks so much Charlie for being here today.

Thank you.

Awesome. Thanks everyone for listening to the show. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep.

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