SWE Quickie: Less Faking, More Foreplay

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Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show, we're bringing back the Sex with Emily quickie. So it's a shorter show but just as fulfilling. I love that you are also committed to kicking bad dating and habit. So I'm reading the responses to our spring cleaning contest and I think you'll be as inspired to make some changes as I was reading them. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

I have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything. In between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out everything going on there. You can easily subscribe to our podcast. We're actually doing three podcasts this week. Maybe we'll continue with this. Let us know what you think. I like doing more podcasts. Easily subscribe. Follow us on social media. It's all sexwithemily across the board. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook.com sexwithemily I'd love.

To hear from you.

So, okay. Welcome to this week's quickie. This is part two of our spring cleaning challenge. Last week we had part one. And thank you to Magic Wand for sponsoring our spring cleaning contest. And someone the winner who we're gonna announce on this, you're gonna get a magic wand rechargeable, which is awesome. Okay, here's the refresher. We asked you, my fabulous listeners, tell me what sex or dating habit you wanna get rid of this year. And the winner's gonna receive a magic wand. We're announcing the winner and what happened was your responses like, blew me away. I was reading, going, oh, my God, this is so inspiring. And you guys are hitting these points that I'm always talking about. It was like you guys were like, reading my mind or you've been listening to the show and you guys just. I guess if you're listening to the show, it's kinda like reading my mind. But your responses were so great. I thought that when I read them together, you're gonna see that these are great responses that you guys had. It was hard to pick a winner. And let me know what you think of these. And also, I hope it inspires you to make some of the changes on your own. And part one, you can also get. It's@sexwithemily.com or wherever you listen to podcasts. Okay, here's the first one. I cannot tell you how many times I have faked an orgasm just to spare the guy I'm with the disappointment of not being able to fully satisfy me. I've had multiple partners who thought they knew what they were doing and knew my body better than I did and knew how to get me off, when in fact, they were terrible. In 2017, I'm embracing how complicated my vagina can be and will no longer pretend to orgasm because it takes the fun out of sex and makes it more of a chore. 2017 is my year to get off and start enjoying sex again. This is from an Emily. Another Emily. God, Emily. I love this one. Because faking orgasms is such A disservice not only to yourself, but to the person that you're with. Because then they're gonna walk around thinking.

They'Re the most amazing lover in the.

World and you're not having orgasms. And I think a lot of women can relate to, God, I'm just gonna fake it because I'm tired. It's never gon happen. And what I say to you is, no unfaco. If it was on the ballot, I always said, I want to put that on the ballot. Just say, no, don't do it. Figure out what makes you feel good. Figure out how to have an orgasm. And then when you're with a partner, you can show them what makes you feel good. So I love this one, Emily. Okay, the next one for me. I'm spending much more time with my face between my wife's legs. She needs more oral attention than I.

Have been giving her.

Charlie in Ohio. Charlie, you're the man. I love you. I mean, really, like, enough said. Yes, you should all be spending more time between your wife's girlfriends. Any girl you're with, any woman you're with, spend more time between her legs. Please. More oral sex. The world would be a much happier place. On to the next. When work gets hectic, it kills my libido. And the less sex I have with my partner, the more stressed out I feel. This year, I'll be kicking this vicious cycle to the curb and make sure that when stress starts to get the best of me, I will spend some time with my partner and let him get the best of me. It's a win. Win. Thanks for the great info on your website and the hilarious stories on your podcast. Sign Madison. Awesome. Madison, getting on board with your partner. I love this. Don't give in to the stress. Your partner actually will help you alleviate the stress. So once you walk away from, like, the anxiety you're feeling at the end of the day and you think, you know what, I want to actually cuddle up to my partner and have sex, you'll actually start to link up that stress feeling with, oh, my partner's here. I'm going to spend more time with them. I'm going to enhance intimacy. It's so true that you guys can reverse that. I have no time. I'm too stressed out for sex. So, Madison, that's an awesome commitment. I love it. Who isn't stressed out? Remember, sex helps. You actually takes away the stress. Okay, here's another one. The habit I'm going to dump is being in a hurry. I need to focus on more foreplay and not just getting to the orgasm. The bad dating habit I will work to get rid of is waiting for her to initiate. If I'm in the mood, then I need to let her know by hugging.

Kissing, and passionately caressing her.

Signed, Warren. This is a two for here. This is great. Warren. You know how important I think foreplay is in a relationship. I can never say enough, you guys. Not just a suggestion. It's actually a requirement for a lot of women especially. We require foreplay to get turned on. And this whole, like, who should initiate conundrum, it totally holds you back. You know, in sex, you're like, why does my partner ever initiate? I get it. But, like, sometimes if you want sex and you're in the mood, you just got to go for it. The reason why a lot of us have a hard time initiating is because we don't want to be rejected by our partner. Like, if we initiate sex, what if they say no? Right? And so I think that can hold us back. So I think it's great. Start initiating it. You want it. Kiss a compliment. Touching. Hand holding. I love this one.

Both of them.

Foreplay initiation. This spring, I'm throwing out the habit of rushing sex to get it over with. I'm gonna make a renewed effort to explore and find out what works for me. Thanks for everything you and your team do to make the world a sexier place. Kristen St. Louis I love this. You know, I'm all about slowing down sex. You guys find out what feels good to you through experimenting. You know, you can try. You know, obviously, foreplay, toys, kinky sex through your own self. Love time. God. A lot of these are about slowing down and taking time to figure out what feels good and more time for foreplay. Oral sex. This is just amazing. Yeah, you guys, sex is something that we're thinking about all the time. It's like the greatest pleasure in the world, and we're all rushing through it and stressed out about it. Can't we all just, like, slow down and have a good time? Okay, here's the winner, you guys. The winner. He's gonna receive a magic wand. I selected Daniel as our winner. Cause he's very introspective, and he dedicated himself to one of the core relationship building blocks that I always talk about, communication. And he kind of captured this, that he used the sex with Emily ism perfectly. Communication is a lubrication. And he also talked about lube. So here we go. After 23 years of marriage, my spring cleaning is all about communications. With my wife, like most couples, we don't talk about sex, needs, wants or intimacy. I want to, but she won't. She had a horrible upbringing with regards to sex and no one ever told her how great it is. So I've told her and we are going to work on communicating our needs, wants and desires, really getting her outside of her comfort zone to express intimacy and vulner. I explained to her communication is lubrication. And then we're even gonna try real lubrication. It's because of you, Emily, that I found the courage to have the conversation. Incidentally, I told my wife that I'll be responsible for raising our kids in a sex positive fashion. I told my boys ages 15 and 16 that sex is the greatest feeling they will have as they grow up. But it always comes with three C's consent, communication and condom. My smartest 15 year old son said, I forgot the fourth C come. Hilarious. We spend time being honest and open and answering questions about sex, relationships and intimacy. I have to explain to them that while sex is great, there are so many things that go into it and what to look for and how to grow it. I've told them that if they encourage their partners to express their needs, they will like it and want to be with them forever. So thanks, Emily and team Daniel. Okay, Daniel, you're a winner. I love this one, you guys. It's very textured. There's a lot going on here and it's never too late, you guys. 23 years and he's still inspired. He's having this conversation. So whether you're in a new relationship, whether you've been in a long term relationship, it is never too late to start talking about sex. In fact, I say the earlier the better. And I love that you want to raise your kids in a healthier manner because there's just not a lot of great places for kids to go today to learn about sex. And if we leave it to the schools and their friends and Snapchat or television, it's not going to be a pretty picture. Discussions about sexual health and sex are so important, especially coming from you, Daniel, and your wife. So congratulations, Daniel. We'll be in touch to get your address. And thank you to everybody. I really appreciate everybody for sending in your responses and I'd love to hear from you. How are you doing with these commitments? It says a lot. Like all the responses that I read, there's something about writing it down. It's very powerful to write down. And the fact that you took the time and you sent it into me. I actually want to hear how you guys are doing with this because I feel like you've said it out loud. You made a commitment to me now and to my listeners and I hope you're sticking with it. I know it can be kind of rough sometimes, so email me and send me some updates and we'll fill everyone in on the show and let me know how I can help. Thanks everyone. This is fun. Hope you enjoyed the quickie. Thanks to all of our new listeners. We've just had so many new listeners last few months which is incredible. So thanks for telling your friends and sharing the show and listening with your partner and reviewing the show. And also you can shop on our website. We've got a store there that's really fun and a lot of the products I talk about are in the store, which is a good time. Thank you for following me all on social media and I just love you all for being in touch. And thanks to my amazing team. I love you Ken, Helena, Producer, Lark, Jamie and Michael. Thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackextwithemily.com Foreign.

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