SWE: Real Men Give Oral Sex- Loveline Host Mike Catherwood

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a B. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to sex with Emily. We're talking about sex with sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithamily.com youm can listen to all of our podcasts. You can subscribe on itunes. It's that easy. We've got hundreds of shows you can listen to. And you also have to go to my website, sexwellmy.com, put in your name. If you're not on our mailing list, we give away lots of good stuff and you're gonna get the report. The five biggest mistakes men are making in bed and the five biggest mistakes women are making in bed. And I just, I don't want you to be making those mistakes anymore. You might be making them and I'm gonna help you. And I just wanna thank everyone for listening and always emailing me@feedbackexwithemily.com Very excited for tonight's show. First of all, I have Anderson here. Anderson, you're walking away as I'm talking to you.

He's doing it.

That's good timing right there.

I know what you doing. Where you going?

Great timing.

Anderson's helping me out with the show tonight. And we also have a great guest coming in, Mike Catherwood, who's the co host of Loveline.

What did you say?

I just talking to Anderson. No.

What a great guest.

A great guest, including you.

No, Mike's Mike's son.

You don't think Mike's that great?

Mediocre.

How would you sum up Mike Catherwood before? Because he just texted me. He's like two minutes away.

Mike is always late.

Okay.

He's a miscreant with a very nice smile who gets away with what most men would never get away with.

Because.

Because he's got that boyish good look about it.

Yeah, we're gonna talk to him about that. I kind of think he's like the bad boy, but reformed.

He came in here like probably about a year ago. I work on Loveline with him, so I love him.

Yeah, we all work on Loveline. If you don't know Loveline, it's a long running radio show. It's been on since 1984. And you can listen to the podcast now for free if it's. It doesn't play in your city.

That's true. Yeah.

Anyway, Anderson, you've been working on it. Anderson does the board, does everything engineer.

Yeah, I've done everything on that show.

Okay, so go ahead, let's cut to the chase. What's important now?

About a year ago, Catherine Wood comes in here. And I don't know any other person. I don't know any other guy in my life. And I know a lot of people. No one else can get away with this. He comes in, he says, oh, look at that. I was masturbating earlier and there's cum on my. On the cuff of my shirt.

Yeah, he just said it like that.

And he laughs. And people are like, oh, my God. That's kind of funny. Like anyone else says that. It's like, get out.

I love that he has no filter. I know, you're right. They'd be, like, disgusting. But he just smiles and gets away with it. Cause that's who he is. You're absolutely right. And he sends me pictures of large black penises sometimes.

Oh, yeah.

Usually he's in the middle of the show.

Small white mouths.

Exactly. That's his fetish. Everyone's got their thing. So, anyway, he'll be in soon, but Anderson and I are working together. And here at the Loveline Studios, the infamous Loveline Studios, which everyone should check out. But this is Sex with Emily. So tonight. Okay, so here's one thing I gotta talk to you about, Anderson. Cause you're a dude, and you're more technical than I. I'm just. Okay, I'm. I know I'm a podcaster for a long time. I'm not gonna say I'm a chicken. I don't know technology and all that stuff. But I'm super busy, and I just did something amazing with my technical life.

Well, I'm listening.

It's my cell phone.

I work in radio, and I'm doing two things at once.

I know you are. So I've got my cell phone, right? Verizon.

It's broken.

It is broken. I dropped it a million times. And I went to. I pay a lot of money for it, but I'm so busy that I never have time to do the bill. I never have time to check it out and see, like, God, I should call them. I should get it reduced. What can I do? So I just came across Ting. Have you heard of Ting?

Yeah. Ting's a very good company.

Oh, my God. You can upload. So basically, they. I uploaded my account, my. My current cell phone service to. In their savings calculator. They access my account. They looked it up, and they saw I could save all this money. 98% of people save money with Ting. I'm totally switching over everything because I can go buy shoes now. I mean, I figured out I could save hundreds of dollars over the next three months.

I'M sorry.

Oh, Mike Heatherwood.

What'd you say? I had a cough.

I like how she gonna buy shoes. What would you do with extra money that you saved with Ting?

With Ting? Do you know ting.com? it's amazing because it's okay.

Do I know Ting?

Do you know Ting? You don't know a Ting, Mike looks.

Like a tink twink.

I'm so happy to see you, Mike.

That was close to a disaster. I'm happy to see you. I do know Ting, okay? And I believe in Ting. Ting's awesome.

It is. Literally. I went shopping. I already know the money I'm saving, and I know a pair of shoes I'm buying at Barney's that I've had my eyes on, and I'm saving hundreds.

Of bucks in Beverly Hill.

Yes. I love Barney's.

I have friends over there.

You do? Well, they give me a discount.

Yeah.

Oh, cool. Okay. Wait. So anyway, check out emily ting.com and I have a special deal if you want to, like, save money. $100. Because you know why our cell phone companies, they charge us for so much crap we don't need.

Well, here's the problem with all the major. The major carriers, you get, you get. You end up paying for stuff you don't use, right? No one uses the amount of texting and info and data and calling that you actually pay for. And it's not like you carry over the stuff you don't use to the next month. You just end up paying for stuff that you don't use. And Ting makes it great because you pay for what you use, and that's it. And what I really like about Ting, honestly, obviously, saving money is great, but they're so transparent, their company. They put everything out there. Like you said, they have the savings calculator. You go to the website, you have give the website again for people to.

Go to, go to emily.ting.com and you receive 25% off your first device per purchase of 25 in service credit if you bring your own device.

But they put it out there. Exactly what you will save, exactly how you'll do it. And also, another great thing is that their customer service is real people, and they work so hard to be helpful.

I know. It's exactly it.

Yeah, no, it's a great company.

I don't use any of the stuff that I needed, and they tell me everything that I'm using. And now I'm saving money and I'm happy. So go to emily.ting.com and you get 25% off your first device purchase or 25 in service credit. To bring. I love that you know this. To bring your device. My Catherine.

Covered. Covered entirely by the awesome Sprint Network.

It is covered by the Sprint Network and Sprint Network. Sprint Network is awesome. So anyway, Mike.

Yes.

Good to see you.

Good to see you as well.

So we were talking about you before you got here, Anderson, because I was just saying, like, how would you describe Mike Catherwood if people don't know who you are?

Black. I would say the first adjective I'd use is black.

Yeah. Okay, well, he's not black. He said that you were like one of these attractive guys who kind of gets away with everything and you smile and you get away with things.

Henderson said that?

Yeah.

Oh, I absolutely did. Yeah.

It's true.

You're a miscreant.

I get. I mean, I wouldn't say that. That's far, far from off. Hey, you know the guy or far from correct?

What? You know the guy, Booger?

The guy who played Booger in Revenge of the Nerds? Yes.

Yeah. Put his face on your face, come in here and say, hey, look, I was masturbating earlier and there's cum all over my sleeve. Isn't that funny? No one thinks it's funny.

See, Mike can just kind of get away with whatever he wants. That's why I'm having Mike on the.

Show today, because whatever I want, I mean, kind of. I mean, I've never raped you.

Send me pictures of Big Black Cox and I don't even care.

That's true.

Besides Loveline, how would people maybe know Mike Katz?

So Psycho Mike. Mike's been in radio for a long time, right, Mike?

About 12 years.

12 years. And so he's the host of Loveline, which I'm sometimes the guest co host on Thursday nights.

We love having you.

I love being here. And you've done a ton of stuff. What is your. And you have your podcast.

Yeah, the Mike and Dr. Drew show. Well, I love doing that. I really do. I've come around to really, like, enjoy doing the podcast and being able to try and make it something that I think the audience would be into.

I think you're doing a good job.

I would say. I hate to say it because I was so shitty on it, but for numbers alone, I would say most people probably would have exposure to me through Dancing with the Stars.

Dancing with the stars.

Like 30 something. Million people watching.

I didn't know you then, so I would have been glued to my television set. What was it? What was your takeaway from that, what'd you learn? Like, how did it. Did it help you grow and change and learn?

Yeah, actually, I mean, not to sound too cheesy because it's, it's a dumb dancing show, but what I did take away from it is that, I mean, I spent a lot of time, especially as an addict. You, you take. You spend so much of your life running away from things that scare you.

And dancing scared you?

Well, not. Not dancing scared. Dancing doesn't scare me. I know I'm shitty at dancing. It's. It's dancing in front of.

That many people. And then also because I came from such a world where, like, I had engendered such passion and love from the listeners here at KROQ in Los Angeles, which is kind of like this masculine Rock & Roll FM, very testosterone driven world. I didn't want to be looked at as, like a sellout because I was doing Dancing with the Stars. But instead of, instead of, like I said, shying away from it, I was like, you know, life's too short. Why not just go for.

It?

Exactly. And I.

Did. Well, then.

You. And I was scared shitless when I wasn't scared at all in leading up to the show and then on the premiere night, I was scared shitless. I mean, worse than my whole ever in my whole.

Life. I'm sure that's good. So it's good to challenge yourself and to try this new.

Thing.

Sure. Get out of yourself. Well, who's gonna judge you? Just radio people. They hate everyone who's not in radio. You think they're like, you're selling out. Like, I guess I just moved to LA and I'm in the business, but I'm not in the business. But who's gonna say, mike, you sold out. You did.

That. No, and I don't mean. I don't mean sold.

Out. Why can't you just be an entertainer and you're doing your thing and you might do Dancing the Stars, you might do radio and you might send around pictures of big Black Cox and you might play in with comma on your sleeve and you're everyone. You have no filter and it's fine. You'll do.

Anything. Who.

Cares? I can't box in Mike.

Catherwood. You can't. My shrink says that. She said you're a perfect example of the modern man because, you know, you're all into MMA and motorcycles and stuff, but you do yoga and.

You'Re. You're the perfect man. Too bad you're married. Oh, you're married, though. Which is.

Exciting. It.

Is. But we're gonna talk about today. So why is Mike here? On my Sex with Emily show, we talk a lot about sex and.

Relationships. Because I'm happy to be.

Here. That's why I'm so glad you're here. It's. But I think that you can help. First of all, I have lots of listeners, and they send tons of emails with questions. We're gonna. You're gonna help me some. Answer some questions today. Some emails from the listeners. They include. The topics are. Okay, one woman has a very selfish boyfriend. He will not perform oral sex on her. Another one, a guy, he wants to last longer in bed. Imagine.

That.

Yeah. A woman wants to get freaky in bed. She can't find other freaky guys. And so much.

More. Well.

Okay. And I want to say that when I saw you, though, I had to come into Loveline last night, and I saw you, Mike, and I said, you know, Will, I was really hoping, because you are an expert in so many things. You give amazing advice every night. Well, let's talk about this Black Hawk love and relationships, for sure. Black cock. He is straight, but he has a fetish for.

Black. I love.

It. We don't have time today. Get to get into your black cock.

Fetish. I like cock in general, to be honest. Yeah. I just. I prefer black. And, like, for.

View. Like, looking at.

It. Well, because typically they're bigger. That's, you know, just.

A. Might be a rumor, but. No, I guess it.

Is. No, it's. It's no.

Stereotype. No, you're right. In my experience, it has been that way, too. So, anyway, I want to tell you that Mike, I said to him last night. So I came and I said, mike, oh, my God. Will you be on? I'd love you to be on my show. I've got this new studio. We're recording here before Loveline. He's like, I'd love to. I said, great. What do you want to talk about? And he didn't even, like, blink. He didn't even. He's like, anal sex. I'm like, okay, done. Too bad anal sex month just ended in August. But, yes, we'll talk about anal sex. But then you said, I want to talk about the difference between promiscuity between men and women. And you're probably just BSing me. And like, hey, but it's interesting. That's what you brought up. Like, you said, why can men be so promiscuous and women can't? Is that what you were.

Saying? Yeah.

Essentially. No it was women are sluts and men are.

Sluts. It's not even, like a slight difference. There's not even a thin line between men and women when it comes to promiscuity. It's like guys are, like, applauded. Guys are cheered on for being.

Promiscuous. Yeah. You banged 10 chicks this weekend. That's awesome.

Right? And women are really kind of burnt at stake for it, you.

Know? Don't you think it's more when you're younger? Like in college people. Do people still really care who you sleep with when you get older? I don't.

Know. I mean, I don't. And I'm not just saying you don't judge. I'm not just saying that because.

You wouldn't judge me for how many people I've.

Slept. But, I mean, I truly don't care. And. But I'm. I feel like I really am a little bit more sexually liberated than a lot of people, especially guys. Guys tend to get really rigid in how they view their female.

Counterparts. I agree. What do you mean by that? Like, what would you say your most men are like? They're probably listening right.

Now. Yeah. I'm not trashing guys. I'm just thinking most of the time, when you. When you encounter a guy, you know, 50 and under, he. He has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that his wife or his girlfriend has had sex with anybody else ever. In a perfect world, I think a lot of guys, you know, just in this small facet. Not in all ways, but a lot of guys, you know.

Kind of embrace the, like, Al Qaeda view of women and that they should only service them sexually and never another man ever. Clearly, that's unrealistic. But you just. You have a hard time believing. I know that I was that way when I was, like.

20. That's what I was gonna say. Because a lot of our listeners are 20, 21.

And we hear them. They call in on Loveline all the time. They email me every day. And they just don't know. At 20, you can't just say, well, you're 20, dude. But, like, they don't know. They don't know what to do. They don't know how to perform oral sex on a woman. They don't know how to please a woman. And that's. I think what we're trying to do is educate them. But at 20, you didn't know.

Either. Yeah. And assuming you know now to have men's backs. I do. Yeah, I do. But I took a long time to get.

There? Yeah. How can we, like fast track these.

Guys? Well, I don't know if you can. I mean, because I'm gonna get some good sexual. Where women get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to, like, their social views, how society views them with sexual partners and promiscuity. Guys get the shitty end of the stick in coming of age sexually because unless you're a gay guy, because straight men are dealt a really fucking confusing hand when it comes to trying to figure out women, because women are so different, right? And biologically, women have so much going against them when it comes to enjoying sex. And it takes most women a long time to really understand their own body, to figure out how to orgasm, to figure out when they, or when they can and what part of their body they get pleasure from. Whereas guys, like, we're really easy. We're really, really easy. Like, a woman's sex for a woman is like a vintage Ferrari, you know, and it's beautiful and it's, and it's. And it's amazing to see and behold and be a part of, but it can break down just like that because the parts are so, they're so high performance. They're also very unique and very like handcrafted. A guy is like a, like a 2013 Toyota Camry, right? It's.

Just. I know, we got you. The penis is.

There. You know what I'm saying? Like, we blow loads and you just go, I.

Know. So I feel, I feel that this show has helped and we try to help on Loveline, so many people understand it, but I think it starts with the women. So many women aren't doing their work either. So that I tell them all the time, like, you gotta masturbate. Like my best friend in college, every day for 30 days, she never had orgasm. She took it in her own hands, literally. And she is now still to this day the most multi orgasmic woman I know. Because she took that time. And women are just like, I can't have an orgasm. What's wrong with me? They think, you know, he's supposed to bring the orgasm to me. It's his.

Fault. He needs to.

Know. And I used to do that when I was younger. I'd blame the guy and think, why isn't he doing it? But I didn't know either. We all need to take time and figure out our own.

Bodies. That's great advice, is that women need to do the work beforehand. I think they do the prep work, but at the same time, there's also a big facet that, you know, they can explain to their partner is that, yes. And that 18 to 22 year old woman needs to be open with their male lovers. They need to say, look, no, no, try this, not.

This.

Right. And I don't. I think a lot of women assume that they're like gonna hurt a guy's.

Feelings. But I like.

Directions. Yeah. Because I always thought I would just work.

Harder.

Right. When my, when I was 19 and a girl wouldn't have an orgasm, I thought I'd just fuck her.

More. Right, exactly. Pound her more like a.

Jackhammer. And in actuality, all I could have, you know, if I would have just taken my time and you know, provided some oral or maybe incorporated a toy or something and it would have been like that, it would have been just easy solution. But I had no idea if a girl had just opened her mouth. Now, now, at my age, now I'll flat out be like you like this. What can I do to make it.

Better? But, but I think also a lot of young women think that if they act, if they speak up and they say what's, what's going on with them, then they feel like the guy's gonna judge them. Oh, you've had so much experience. How do you know your body? You know what I mean? They feel like they'll be seen as slutty if they give feedback as.

Well. That's an assumption for me because I'm not a woman and I hope that that's not the case. But let me speak for men out there. There's nothing better than getting direct advice on what makes you tick. Because a lot of times do look at women as very.

Confusing. Yeah, we are. We're the Rubik's cube of life. Women's vaginas. But then again, like we say, they're like.

Snowflakes. It's like a pubix cube.

See? A pubic's cube. You're so good.

Mike. I.

Try. So, Mike, you are married now. We're gonna get life in a little bit if that's cool. But you don't.

Care.

No. But first I want to know, how are your balls.

Doing? My balls right.

Now? Just, you know, like, you know, I gave you a present and I just want to know they're dry. Are they dry? Do you like your ball stuff?

Okay. I love.

It. Okay.

Good. Toni, Emily and.

Tony. Emilyandtony.com it's my new. It's called Down Under. It's a ball cream to a powder. A lot of men don't know.

That. Doesn't make any sense hearing those.

Words? Okay, so explain to a.

Guy. It's a cream. It comes in a tube, looks like suntan lotion or something. You squeeze it out and you rub it on your balls or anywhere that you're prone to sweating, and it turns to powder. It looks like you put baby powder on your balls, but you just rubbed a lotion. And it's awesome because I'm a very active guy, and I get sweaty in that area, and it's taking care of.

Me. I know. It has a natural antiperspirant built in. It has a witch hazel, and it has. It's tapioca, actually. Someone could eat it off you. It's fine. It's vegan. And say fresh and.

Dry. Men don't realize tapioca means it's gluten.

Free. It is gluten free. And men think that they don't. It's kind of. So you just stop sweating and you stay fresh. Men use talcum powder. It can be carcinogenic. And so everyone can check it out@emilytoni.com if you love me, you support the show. You'll support down.

On. And it's good. I vouch for it. I've used it. I only use it on my.

Balls. I'm the first person I gave it.

To. I not only use it on my balls. I use it on my hips when I. When I grapple and do mma because I wear, like, a rash guard. It's like a really. It's almost like. Like neoprene against my body underneath my gi. Or if I just go, no gi. And it gets really sweaty and itchy in certain parts of, like, my hips and my. My fupa. My. My spare tire. And then.

I. You don't have a spare.

Tire. I rub it on there. And it.

Works. Yeah. It stops sweating everywhere. Women can use it on their lower back, beneath the breasts. Anyway, I'm very proud of my new thing, I have to.

Say. It took two.

Years. We created it. We have candles and lubricant, and it's awesome. So check it.

Out. And I left the candle, and you gave me the candle, and I love it. And I left it in my car.

Overnight.

Okay. And I got back in my car and smelled.

Amazing. Yeah, it's.

Amazing. My whole car smelled like a Hawaiian.

Vacation. Exactly. It's the best. It's their massage candles. Actually, you should. Did you use.

It? I did massage. I know I did.

Massage. You massaged.

Her. I did not. Oh, I'm sorry. I would have sent you a picture if I.

Did. You would have sent me a.

Picture. I left it in my car to, like, prepare for the thing you.

Were going to bring on your romantic.

Weekend. We took my wife's car to the. And I didn't even think about.

It. Do it another.

Time. I know I.

Will. I'm hurt, but that's okay. No, Mike. Okay, well, let's answer an email from the listeners. I feel like you. We were just talking about this a little bit, but I think you could be very helpful.

Here. All right, I'll.

Try. Dear Emily, I recently discovered your show. I'm so glad I did. I've already learned so much, and I'm appreciative there's a resource like this out there. I'm 19. I've been sexually active for about four months with my current boyfriend, who is also my first serious relationship. Sometimes he's pretty selfish in bed. He wants me to give him blowjobs and hand jobs all the time, have sex in all the positions he likes. And it's frustrating because he expects all give and no take. He used to love going down on me, fingering me, making out, and getting really turned on before we had sex. Now he, like, expects me to be wet after one kiss and ready for sex, and I just can't be. I miss when the sex used to be really good and exciting. It's like we're an old married couple. I tried talking to him about it. He's going to focus more on me, but he never really does. He never takes initiative. How can I get him to step up? Thank you. I love your show, Kendra. So she's 19. He was good for a few months. He probably performed oral sex on her for, like, 60 seconds. And now he's just being.

Selfish. He's a.

Baby. 19. How do we. We can't say that to every single. You're just.

Young. No. Well, I will say.

This. I think he is being selfish, but he doesn't even know.

It. Yes, he.

Does. He's telling. She's telling him, but he's, like, conscious of the. Of the circumstances that she's gonna stop giving him blowjobs if he doesn't.

Start. There's certain stuff you will write off and you will give a guy. You'll cut a guy some slack for the fact that he's 19. But if he started off, like, giving her the full court press with going down on her and doing romantic stuff, and then now that he realizes he has her in, like, his comfort zone and he stopped that shit, that's just. He's a dick. He's just.

So. He really just is emotionally.

Immature. And what she needs to do instead of tell him, right, she needs to let. Let it be known how he's not a man. He's. He's like, that's baby shit. A real.

Man. You think she'd be like, honey, you're a pussy. You haven't done this to me. I mean, like.

Really. I mean, you know, maybe not those, but you'd be. You be. You'd be surprised how especially like, he probably thinks he's so cool because he can just get blowjobs without doing any work. And what she needs to do is like enlighten him to the fact that there's nothing less.

Manly. Like being self thing is a free blow.

Job. Being. Being selfish as a lover is the least masculine and the least.

It's the least cool kind of Lothario thing to do. He probably thinks he's some cool player and he can just come home from work or whatever he does, right? And play Xbox and then get a blowjob. In actuality, the ability to like, check off all. Corner all things on a woman's menu before you even get concerned about yourself.

Right? Like, make sure that she is pleased that she's had her orgasm, that she's gotten there before you.

Do. And he'll be shocked because the more he starts to consistently do that without her needing to antagonize him to do it, then she'll be motivated out of the blue to just want to rock his arm.

Around. Comes around, goes around. Exactly. So she. And the thing that breaks my heart is that she says I deserve some foreplay and some oral, don't I? Like, she's doubting it. Like, is something wrong? So, yes, you, you. You do deserve it, Kendra. We all deserve it. And if he's not the right guy, because I've been. I think I've told you this, but I've been with men who don't like the vagina. Just some men, they don't like. They like me. They want to have sex with my vagina, but they don't want to, like, know it and get in there and get interested in the vagina. So I feel like. And I actually had a conversation with this guy that I was dating. It was like a year and a half. And I was like, what's the deal? He's like, I just. I don't really like.

It. Yeah, that's.

Good. And I'm like, I don't really like you. And I ended it because I Love oral sex. I need oral.

Sex. You're.

Not. But some women might make someone a perfect husband someday or.

Something. Guys will totally leave a relationship if they're not getting their needs met sexually. I feel like a lot of young women especially, they won't. They'll say, he's a really nice guy. Maybe I can find. Look, that's a.

Big. They're not sure they deserve.

It. That's a very, very important part of a successful.

Relationship. It really.

Is. And if you feel like someone, especially if you've made it known that you want this in the bedroom and this guy can't step up to the plate just because he flat out doesn't want to, you are under every right, in my opinion, to just end the.

Relationship. Yeah, end it. I mean, I think you gotta have the real. Obviously what she's saying isn't working, but I think that you both deserve it and you have to start communicating about your sex life. If.

You'Re. And I'm not saying tit for tat. I never would advocate like fighting fire with fire, but for a 19 year old girl with a 19 year old boyfriend, the best way to get him to snap in action is infer that you can get it somewhere else.

19 year old boys are so territorial about their ladies. So if you just be like, believe me, Bobby, you know who I work with over there at In N Out Burger, he'll go down on me in one second. We've kind of had that conversation maybe once or twice. Let that bomb.

Drop. But don't you think a lot of it is that guys don't actually know what to do once they get down.

There? Yeah. Yeah. I actually had a relationship when I was 19 where a girl flat out said she's like, you're just too aggressive when you go down there because.

You'Re probably so excited, you're like, yeah, I'm doing.

It. I love it. And I also thought it was kind of like treat a clitoris like a.

Penis.

Right. And that's.

Not. Ouch, ouch. That just hurt my clitoris right.

Now. And now looking back on it, you know, like, I probably was totally.

Right because you don't know. So how so, Mike, fast forward a few years. You're no longer 19, 20 year old.

Man.

Yeah. If you had to give your top oral sex tips, your top three oral sex tips for performing oral sex on a woman, what would they be? And all in all, the vaginas that you've. That you, I'm assuming from what I know you've probably come across.

Many.

Yeah. And probably brought many.

Pleasure.

Yeah. What's your top.

Tips? I would say always start off.

Softer than you think you need to. And gradually work yourself up to a level of aggressiveness to the point where you feel like a woman's there as opposed to starting off hard and working backwards. Start off absolutely as gently as possible. I mean, almost like you're whispering on a.

Clitoris. So.

True. And then gauge. As you slowly, gradually increase pressure. And like I said, I don't want to say aggressiveness is a bad word. The more pressure you apply, slowly add. Feel it out in the woman and try to sense what her threshold of. Because some women do like it aggressive, but, you know, usually they want.

It. I always say start five times slower than you think you need.

To. There's nothing wrong with starting too slow. There's a big problem with starting too.

Hard. Yeah. We're not even there yet. We're like, what are you doing? You're down. I'm not even ready. I didn't even know what was happening. Like, you got to ease into.

It because a guy will get frustrated if a woman doesn't get down to business on his.

Penis. So you don't want us to tease.

You? I prefer not. If you're gonna blow me, I'd love you to blow.

Me. Just go right to the. Not even like the nibbling through the underwear. Like, slowly unzip your pants. Like you just want the blowtop. You just want your dick in someone's mouth right.

Away.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah. Okay. But women, don't get me.

Wrong. Some bit of tension. You know, you feel the penis through the pants, and then you undo my pants. Like that alone is arousing enough to a.

Guy. Right. But you don't need to do a whole song and.

Dance. You're no kid. You know, it's like most of the time when you feel like there's the possibility of going to bed with a guy, he's already hard for like 20 minutes before you even get his pants.

Off.

Right. So it's different than a woman where she. You really kind of do need.

Like.

Right. System.

Going. Exactly. But for guys, I'm just saying. Because we always talk about teasing. Tease your partner. And some men do like to be.

Teased. But typically, I honestly think that teasing a man and working slowly towards him is great. When you're married for something, you know it really. Or you've been in a relationship where you've had a.

Chance. This is why you're no longer. Tell me about.

That. You Got it. Because.

Guys, and this is a terrible thing to say, but it's 100% true, is that guys get very desensitized to having sex with the same person. We're so turned on by the idea of.

Variety.

Right. That's not to say that guys aren't meant to be monogamous. I really do think that we are in that you learn to love the idea of having sex with one person. But because of instinctively we want to bang every woman we come across.

And we do kind of get bored with having sex with the same girl. There's a lot of value in varying things up. So, you know, after you've had sex with the same guy 50 times, then you can start working your way down with slow kisses to his penis and nibbling off his underwear or, you know, blindfolding him when you kiss his area around his penis before. Those things are great when you're in a long term.

Relationship.

Okay. When you're get like date number three and you're thinking about this first time sleeping with this guy, go like a Scud missile right into.

His. Exactly. So. So you think that that's interesting because there. I believe that there's a lot of men who feel exactly the same way you do. They think, you know, I don't think we're meant to be monogamous. I want to bang every chick I see, you know, and then there's guys who are like, you know what? I'm okay with it. Like, I kind of feel that way, but I'm in love, I would never cheat. And they don't even like go there. Or do you think that those men are just like, you're just saying they don't.

Know. They don't know what they're getting themselves into. Those are the guys who get married at 22 and they're like, you know, And I believe them. They're definitely super in love with their fiance, soon to be woman. And they're like, I've only banged one other girl and I'm fine with that. Yeah, call me at 28 after six years of that shit. Because I'm not saying that everybody should be reckless sexually, but there is a tremendous amount of currency to just getting that shit out of your.

System.

Right. I'm 34 now and my take sexually on my wife now, as opposed to my first wife when I got married at 24, is totally different because like I've had threesomes and I've banged a lot of girls and I'm not trying to be braggadocious, but That's. I've been around the block and I got that shit out of my system. And now the value of, like, really developing intimacy with my wife through sex is so much better than the. The titillating feeling of the new vagina and the.

New. So you don't. So those feelings, those cravings for new vagina is gone.

Now. They're not gone. But, I mean, I'm still alive. I still see girls on the Internet, or I, especially in this business, I get a chance to meet remarkably beautiful women. Of course, I'm like, fuck, I'd really like to have sex with.

Them. But you.

Don'T. But it's a mild feeling. Much like if you're on a diet and you see a piece of pizza, of course you want to eat that pizza. But now I have somehow have a different level of willpower to stay on my diet as opposed to when I was 24, if that makes.

Sense. And it's a choice that you.

Make. I'm always gonna be, you know, I'm always gonna be a guy. The analogy I always like to say is like, I love my. My car. I have a 66 GTO. I love it. It's a muscle car I've always dreamed of. I have no desire to buy another car. I could live in that car because I love it so much. But does that mean when a 69 charger drives by, my head doesn't whip around and I go, fucking. That's a nice car. Of course not. I still admire other cars. And I still get a great passionate feeling when I see a muscle car that I love. Doesn't mean that I don't prefer.

Mine.

Right. That's the way guys are. And I think that when a guy meets all of a woman's needs emotionally. Physically, he's there for her in every regard. Women can just write off other men. It's just like there's no other men in the world. They may have other.

Men. Do men like that.

Exist? Yeah, I think.

So. They fill all your.

Needs? I hope.

So. Oh.

Yeah. I mean, I hope I. I hope I'm that way for my wife, but I.

Don'T. I don't in any way realistic to think that there's one person that's gonna fill all your.

Needs. No.

Not. I mean, maybe sexually, yes, but I'm saying in other ways. Like, I think people think that this perfect person we have to find that's gonna fill all these.

Needs. No, but I. I also think.

That you feel enough of her.

Partner. Your partner is like a Great rock song. It's perfect in its.

Imperfection.

Right? You know, there's never gonna be actual perfection. You just find the perfect person for you who's alarmingly imperfect, just like we all are. You know, that's the key. I mean, for me, it's like, of course I feel like my wife wants to bang other guys. I feel like my wife.

Finds. Did you guys talk about.

It? My wife finds other women, other men.

Attractive. I'm sure a lot of women say that they don't feel that after they get married. Like, I don't crave it. I don't want it. I want it to be with my.

Guy. Yeah, I believe that. I believe my wife really would just like to be with me. But I'd be dumb or naive to assume that she doesn't find other men attractive, but she's not gonna. And have physical urges to be with those guys. But I do feel like I meet a lot more. Like, I scratch that itch a lot more in my wife than she does to me. Not to say that I'm not fully satisfied with my wife. It's just that that's the way guys are. Like, I just, you know, sometimes I get overwhelmed by, like, how many beautiful women there are in the world, but I don't have, like, any real visceral urge to. To be with.

Them. And you're married to a beautiful.

Woman. Sure. Yeah. No, my wife's. My wife's.

Gorgeous. Right. But, you know, you still, you know, and you surf porn. You like.

Porn? I love.

Porn.

Right. Love.

Porn. And she's cool with that. We get so many calls too, you know, and people email about the. The problems they have. Do you guys ever talk about it? Does she ever wonder, like, what do you watch? Like, how do couples deal with the porn.

Situation? I got.

You. So many people are like, my, he watches porn, it means he doesn't love me. Doesn't mean our sex is bad. I thought I was the best in his life, and now he's, like, in the.

Basement. It has nothing to do with that.

Though.

Right? That's what we gotta explain to.

Men. My wife is, without question, the best lover I've ever had. But I still beat off the porn all the.

Time. Right. Probably because of that. Yeah, right. She gets.

Explained. No, that's a great point. That's great insight for you to have, because I don't know if all men are like this, but I certainly feel like my sex drive is higher when I'm having more.

Sex. Right. I think I take it as A compliment. He's like, we had amazing sex last night and I masturbated today. I'm like, awesome. I feel more, like, inspired you.

Right? I do. I feel like more of a man. There was a span after my first wife left me where, like the tail end of. Before our separation, we didn't have any sex. It was like probably eight months, no sex. Then she left. And there was another like, year and a half where I didn't have any sex. So I went almost two years in my mid-20s without any sex. And I probably didn't beat off half as much as I do now where I have sex whenever I.

Want. Right, exactly. Because now when you're having great sex, like, you want more. You want more because you have.

This. And I feel like more of a man. I do. I feel like.

More. Okay, I have a question. You just said that you are having the best sex of your life.

Now.

Yeah. Can you explain to me what that. Is it because of the intimacy or is there like any, like, anything in particular that makes you think that.

There. There's a certain spontaneity to a great sex, in my opinion. You know, where it's not formulaic.

And I feel like it's easy to fall into that rut, especially for guys, because you want to work hard to please your woman. So you find one or two things that really pleases her. So you just want to go right to.

Those.

Right. But I think it's hard to. It's important to kind of keep everyone guessing. You can always get to the things that you know are going to.

Work.

Right. But just change the.

Order. So you guys are always changing things.

Up. Yeah. And, and, and my wife and I are very open, communication wise, when it comes to sex. I mean, I'm very inquisitive about what she wants and how I can better please her. And what I'm doing, that. What I'm doing that isn't working. You know.

I.

What kind of feedback have you gotten that it wasn't.

Working? As of right now, I'm.

Still. You're doing.

Well. I'm still doing.

Well. Yeah. I'm getting A's. Okay, that's good. What would you say is.

The. Oh, actually, no. My wife has made it very clear that she doesn't like it when I go long periods of time without initiating sex. She feels like she feels much more desired and she feels much hotter as a woman when I initiate it, when I get a little bit more cake. Because I worked very. I worked very hard to not be kind of brutish in coming home and demanding sex. But she says every once in a while it's very good. It's very good for you to kind of come home and be like, woman. Yeah, I don't care what you're doing. Time to go to the.

Bedroom. Yeah. Women, we want to be taken sometimes. Guys want to be.

Taken. Yeah. And she has expressed to me that it's not appealing to her that if I'm very passive and I don't initiate sex. And so I've worked on.

It. Does she initiate sex a.

Lot?

Yeah. Okay, so she feels like. Was she feeling like she was initiating more than.

You?

Yes. That's.

Interesting. And she was, she was. Because I was making a conscious effort to not be kind of a domineering husband. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to be. I didn't want to paint her into any corners to do have sex when she didn't want it or to be. And I think that that was residual from past relationships. Whereas now she said, no, certainly I like you being open minded and not trying to be brutish. But at the same time, you need to frequently and periodically take control and demand because that makes me feel.

Desired. I think that's amazing that you had that conversation because so many couples would not know. First of all, they would never have that conversation. Years would go by, she'd be so upset, like, you know, that her husband wasn't. Wasn't initiating sex and that she felt. And then they would never. It's like, you know, most couples don't have those.

Conversations. Yeah. And I want to give you.

Like a medal right.

Now. Yeah. Well, thank.

You. And I am going to give you a vibrator lately later for.

Her. I am very lucky. My wife, My wife is great in many regards. Not only she, but she, she is that type of woman who would have that conversation with me. And I got to be honest, I wouldn't be receptive to that. I would be very hurt or, you know, 10 years ago if a significant other.

Happened. That's interesting. So the young guys listening, you know, 10 years ago. So when you were like 21.

22. And I'm, when I don't want it to sound condescending when I say, well, 21 year old guys can't handle that. I was that way too. I'm not trying to paint a picture that I wasn't involved in as well. I was just that same guy when I was 20, 21. But you do kind of grow and you start to become Interested in.

You start to become interested in other people's needs as opposed to just your own. You live in a very sheltered, very selfish world. When you're young and sex is.

So new and exciting at that age, you're like, I just want to have it. I'm having it. You're thinking about it. You're preoccupied with it, and you're not really thinking. There's techniques. You're like, it's in and out. It's in and out. And then porn, too. So many kids today, that's how they're learning about sex. That's all they see. She wants to be banged that way. It's like, no, that doesn't even work. It's not even hitting her clitoris. It's, like, miles away from her clitoris. What you're doing right now, you can't learn from.

Porn. It's tough. I said, learning to. To have sex by watching porn is like learning to box by watching Rocky. It's. It's a terrible.

Idea. It is a terrible idea, but it's.

Entertainment. And James, we've had great adult stars on Loveline many times. They said, I. This is not how you should have sex in life. I'm an.

Entertainer.

Right? Sure. I'm fucking someone, but I mean, I'm fucking someone for the sake of your entertainment, not for the sake of having great.

Sex. Exactly. So it's not, like, technically a great place to learn. So what would you say, in your experience of sleeping with women, what would you say has been the best position for women to have orgasms? Best position for orgasms that you found that women were.

Like. Oh, outside of. Outside of oral sex? For.

Cunnilingus. Yes. Like during intercourse. Yeah, Outside of.

Cunnilingus. I think that's definitely number.

One. That's like. Yeah, that's the. That's the sure.

Thing. I would say.

Doggy style or. Or her lying on her stomach with. You know, so something from behind. With the woman also simultaneously applying pressure to her own.

Clinic.

Yes. With, like, a hand or hand or a vibrator. Sometimes I'll use my own hand. Like, redo her little reach around.

Right. And lots of lube is good.

Too.

Yeah. How do you feel about.

Lubricant? I think that I love it. Yeah. I mean, if it's.

Necessary. It's not. See, this is the thing. I think that lube doesn't have to be a necessary thing. I think a lot of it enhances sex for.

Women. I think that also to those. That guy. You got an email about Premature ejaculation. I do extra lube has been incredible for me because I suffered from premature.

Ejaculations. Okay, let's talk about that. Tell me, how did you get over.

It? A lot of help. A lot of help. For a long time, I thought about stuff that made me sexually unaroused. Like, I thought about this pile of trash in New York City with rats coming out of it because it disgusted me. And everybody has that old cliche idea of thinking about baseball or your grandma or.

Something.

Right. That's a bad idea because then you're associating sex with something negative. Exactly.

To be honest, the best solution for me was to just pop off quickly a couple times with each. With each lover and let that be open. Be like, I'm just so turned on by you. Because that's the.

Truth. For a lot of guys. Yes. That was for.

Me. It was like, I just get so worked up. Like, I can't last. But big salute. Big. Another big solution for me is, like, I always was ready for round.

Two. Oh, wait, okay. Right. When you're younger, you. That's what.

Happens. Even if I'm 34 years old, like, I still go round two.

Right? Oh, my God. I have to give you some.

Promess. Well, here's the thing. I'm not ready for round two. Like, I can just stick it back in right after I blow a load. But what you do is, like, you do a little foreplay on the woman. Maybe she has an orgasm, maybe she doesn't. Maybe it's just getting her going. Then you have sex vaginally, or she gives you oral and you. You achieve orgasm. So you say, I'm sorry it happened so quickly, but I'm just so into you. No need to fill with any more words. Go right back down to going down on.

Her. Exactly.

That. You give you 15 minutes, 10 minutes of making sure you. You work on her body. While that's happening, you're building that boner back.

Up.

Exactly.

Boom. I think that what happens is so many men don't even go for the round two because they're humilified. Humilified. Mortified and humiliated. They're humiliated. They think, God, she's not gonna want to be with me. She's gonna think I was. No, we think that you thought we were really hot. You couldn't help it. Now just please us. We're fine. We're not as tripped up on it. And the men who get super tripped up on it are the ones who can't even think of round two.

Because they're like, if you own it, I get. I'm telling you, if you own it prematurely. Jack, even with a brand new partner. I've had.

It.

I. For, for five years, like right after my divorce. And like, especially during the Dancing with the Stars era where I was having sex with a new.

Girl. Were you banging new checks all the time because you were on.

Tv? It was, it was, it was.

Like, Tommy, did you like fans? Did you have like.

Groupies? Yeah, I mean that mostly though, it was, it was girls that I worked.

With. You slept with the other dancers on the Stars? The.

Dance.

Who? Anyone.

Famous? Well, I mean, I honestly, I don't want. I feel bad for.

Them. Whatever. We won't.

Tell. No, I.

Just. Oh, you feel bad for them? They loved.

You. Look how cute you.

Are. Mike Catherwood, everyone. You have to check them.

Out. Google.

Them. A lot of girls that worked on the show, whether they were in front of the camera or.

Behind. Oh, producers.

PAs. There was, there was PAs of the headsets and then also.

Just. Oh, like little 24pa. They just moved there to.

LA. Oh.

Cute. Yes. And maybe make a girls, makeup.

Girls. Oh, my God. A lot of my guy friends love makeup.

Girls. That's a little tip for those of you listening in other parts of the country. I mean, this and I mean, the hottest women in Hollywood work behind the scenes. Most of the makeup and wardrobe girls in Hollywood are fucking ridiculously hot. People who do makeup and hair and cosmetic on every show. Even like news shows like Dr. Drew's HLN. Like, you walk backstage, you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on? And I mean, like, what do you think? I mean, I think it's just the business.

Attraction. Yeah. And everyone in LA is so.

Hot.

Yeah. I just moved here from San Francisco. I'm like, oh, my God, everyone's so.

Hot. It really is. It's not, it's not a.

Stereotype.

Weird. It's.

Crazy. I mean, like, it's crazy, like every single place you go, he's hot, she's hot. It's like you.

Don'T. You go to different parts of the. And don't get me wrong, there's. There's parts of the country where there's insane levels of really good. Like, you know, there's parts where you might not even assume, like, parts of Texas and like South Carolina. South Carolina on the coast has ridiculously hot people, men and women and parts of, like out in the Atlanta area. Just ridiculous. You know, Dallas and Austin. But. But it's. They really do because like beautiful people flock to la, right? They do. Like beautiful people from all over come to the. So it's.

Crazy. It is crazy. But going back to premature ejaculation, we just gotta sum this up because this email was from Kyle. I'm not married but feel I'm having a problem with premature ejaculation. What should I do for it? So I think you gave some great, great.

Examples. Pre gaming is, oh, pull out and own it. And just be like, there it is, there's my. There's my load and just be. And I did it two or three times and the next thing you know it just stopped happening. It just. You know what I'm saying? Like I just was so much more in control of it because I didn't allow that. Because you owned it. I didn't allow the premature ejaculation to own me. I owned.

It. And a lot of it can be psychological, but there are some things you can try. It's the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation and lasting longer. It's promescent. Go to sexthelmy.com click on promescent. You can check it out. It's a spray for your.

Penis. Is that the desensitization.

Stuff? It's desensitizing and it makes you stay harder. And you can have sex with her. She doesn't get desensitized. It doesn't rub off inside her and it lasts and it's like it's the only FDA approved one. The spray and it'll help you last longer. Guys love it. I don't have a penis. I wish I did. I would try it. But anyway, that's what they should.

Do. And it's great because it's a lot better than cocaine, which I oftentimes.

Would rub on my penis also. Right. You've rubbed that in your penis. You've rubbed it everywhere.

Right? Yeah. Well, it really will desensitize your.

Wiener. Oh.

Good.

Cheers. But the problem is all my drug addict. All my drug addict listeners that.

Will rub off into a.

Anderson. Is that what you.

Do? No, no, I was saying that we're wrapping it up.

Right. Oh, we're wrapping it.

Up. There is a great song by Ween called Put the Coke on my.

Dick.

Yeah. Oh, that's great. I love setting this message to my listeners. It's all gonna become drug addicts.

And make it gives women like.

Limp. Yeah. Don't stick coke inside of a woman's.

Vagina. You know what would be awesome is if you could train your penis to somehow sniff and then you could have it on there and be snorting it through your.

Wiener. If my penis could sniff coke, I might fall off the wagon for you. I'd fall off the wagon.

Yeah. What if dicks could yell? That'd make like sexual.

Harassment. I think they.

Do. That's. That's my.

Autobiography. What if my dick could yell? If my dick could talk would be a good one too. Okay, Mike Catherwood, where can everyone.

Find youke Catherwood on.

Twitter? That's a C. Yes, tell everyone know how to spell.

It. Ikeh C A T H E R W O O D and then.

Also Mike and Drew podcast at Podcast one. They can find it. And everyone thanks for listening to Sex Emily. You can find me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Sex with Emily and thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com thank you Emily. Thank you, Mike. Hi, I'm Emily from sexwithemily.com what if giving oral sex tasted like sex? Strawberries or chocolate masque makes these delicious strips like a breath strip, only better. They make oral sex taste like chocolate, strawberry, watermelon or mango. Make sex more pleasurable for you and your partner by going to.

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