SWE: Romantic or Repulsive?

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where we guarantee if you listen to sexthemily.com and you go to sexthenily.com and you listen to all of our shows, you will improve your sex life. It just does. It happens over time. People email us their sex life has improved and yours will as well. If you listen and you become a friends With Benefits member. We love all of our Friends with Benefits members, and we so appreciate you signing up. It's $4.95 a month. It's like nothing, right? For three, four shows a week. And you get benefits and special cool things, okay? So we can't deny this. Everyone knows there's something happening very, very soon, and we need to talk about it. And it's Valentine's Day. Whether you love it or you hate it, or you're single or you're alone, we're going to be giving you tips for having the best Valentine's Day ever. Because even if you hate it, we're going to make you love it. So we're going to be talking about Valentine's Day. We're going to be talking about different ideas that, like, a lot of the media has floated ideas out there, and we want to know if it's romantic or repulsive. We've also got some good date ideas for you and some good gift ideas, and we'll be reading your emails, and we got some sex in the news. And today I'm with my interns and my assistant Kelsey. We're all here in the studio. Mendes is gone for a few days. And, yeah, and to spread this is another thing that's very important. Sex family, Spread the Love Valentine's Day contest. Go to my website, sex family.com, click on spread the Love, and you'll realize you'll figure out how to enter the contest. You just need to follow us on Facebook and Twitter, Sex with Emily, and retweet us. And we've got so many things to give away that we can barely walk around our office. We kind of look like one of those hoarders, like the Hoarder show where you can't really move around your office because you can't really move around your house because you've got so much in it. Well, ours is filled with sex toys and products that we want to give to you. So enter the contest and like us on Facebook and retweet us. We totally appreciate that. Okay, we've got our poll results of our latest poll. Do you enjoy casual sex?

Okay, no, I am a woman, 15%. Yes, I am a woman, 17%. No, I am a man, 24%. And yes, I am a man, 43%. So the men are loving their casual sex. The women only like it at 17%. So who are they having casual sex with, I wonder? Okay, we've got a new poll. It's a Valentine's Day poll. And Valentine's Day. A, makes me warm and fuzzy. B, makes me want to punch something. C, makes you want to have sex with random people. D, none of the above. E, all of the above. I hadn't read that one yet. Okay, guys, that's our Valentine's Day poll. This is Tiana sitting next. If you're watching, you know that you can watch and listen to the show every single day that we do the show. This is Tiana. What up, Tiana? Let's talk about Tiana for a minute. Because Tiana embarked on a very important venture today. It was her first time. We talked her into getting on a website, on a dating website, because she's never dated before. She's a beautiful young woman, never dated online.

Not dated online. And she just joined OkCupid, which, coincidentally, tomorrow's show, we're gonna have Sam Yegan, the founder of OkCupid, on our show. So you could ask him. Maybe he knows some ins and outs. Yeah. So how's it going so far in OkCupid?

It's actually really interesting. I was like, why am I doing. Why am I signing up for this? You know, at first you feel, like, desperate, you know, and now I'm kind of playing around with it, and I'm like, wow, some of these guys are really cute.

Oh, really? Yeah.

And like, it's actually. Now it's getting fun. It's fun.

It's fun.

That's good.

Describe it. You feel like it's desperate. I feel like dating online has become the norm. I almost feel like I don't know anybody who hasn't dated online, really, except for me. Yeah. But most just because I've always. I don't know why I haven't, but I've considered it, and I feel like more so than not, I'd say out of all my friends, more people than not not have dated online. There's not the stigma anymore that you're desperate, I think. Yeah.

I feel like it was coined, you know that. It totally was, but now I don't. Now I think it's like, what are.

You hoping to find? You said you like the questions they were asking.

Yeah, they, like, make you take like a. Not as like a 25 to 100. Like, how many ever questions you want to answer?

Okay, what were some of the interesting ones?

Yeah, like, how many times do you brush your teeth a day? And like, the most, like, I don't know. I hope I get matched up after answering all those questions, and you can answer as many as you want. The questions were just, like, really, like what about politics? Like, are you into politics? Are you not? And then it'll ask. There's two set, like, two different parts of the question where you answer the question right, and then another part will be, like, what you want them to answer.

Oh, wow.

So you can have, like. You can answer something completely different, but you're expecting something from them to say. You know what I mean?

Right. Because OkCupid has been a really popular site. It feels like everyone's on OkCupid, probably because of their great filtering system and the way they have you answer the questions and all that. So I can't. I think you gotta come back and update us on how it goes.

Yeah, I'll give you an update.

I'll be curious on who these dudes are who are going to be lucky enough to date you.

Yeah.

So that'll be awesome.

Yeah. And it's only people. Like, I put only people in San Francisco.

Oh, you did? Just San Francisco. Not even the Bay Area.

I hope I don't, like, run into them.

And I'm like, not even Bay Area. Not even Bay Area.

I mean, maybe it'll make me in touch with people from the Bay Area.

But I don't know.

Okay, well, good luck.

It's for fun. I'm not, like, taking it, you know, like, oh, I'm trying to get married on there.

No, you should use that. Fun, I think.

Obviously. Yeah, it's just for fun.

If you're single and you still think there's a stigma to it, I'm telling you, I know more people that have dated online that have found their matches online for real. They've gotten married, the whole thing. Like, if you're doing the same thing over and over again and you're competing, complaining that you live in the worst town and blah, blah, blah, and you're single, I think that dating online is totally going to make it easier for you. So I think it'll be a little experiment. It'll be a great experiment. And it'll be like, for school, like for this, for school, for sex with Emily, for your work. You can figure it out. You can report back. We want to know how it goes for you. So, yeah, we've got a little bit of sex in the news for you, too. Before we get into your emails and some Valentine's Day stuff. Okay, so Snooki, from. I was gonna say Real Housewives of New Jersey from. From Jersey Shore, says she's bisexual.

Not surprising.

In an interview with the Huffington Post in support of the newest Jersey Shore season, Snooki Admitted she'd experimented with girls and was attracted to the female form, but wouldn't attempt a relationship with a woman. Because I like penis, she said. So I guess that's not surprising. I haven't watched a lot of Jersey store, but doesn't it seem like everyone's a little bisexual these days? If you have to, like, do you feel like a lot of your friends have.

Well, I think a lot of men in San Francisco are bisexual. I think everyone's a little bisexual in some kind of way. I mean, I think women are more comfortable with women. Like, if they made out, it's not a big deal. But if men made out and they're, you know, supposedly straight, I think that they'd be more comfortable.

Why do you think most men in San Francisco are bisexual?

I think because we're so openly. We're so open about our sexuality here, and I don't. I think somewhere else. If you went to, like, Texas or.

You know, I'm more Michigan, where I'm from, they're not gonna be.

Yeah, it's a very openly sexual city, right?

It is. I love this town. Except for. Yeah, I got fixed up with a few bisexuals this year. And I have to be honest, like, I. It was a little uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable. I was like, oh, so you had a penis in your mouth last night? And then we're gonna go out. Like, you know, there's just some things that are weird, but. Not that I'm anything against bisexual, but. But it seems like a lot more women, too, have experimented. Have you kissed a girl before? I have.

I experimented with a girl before. I liked it, but I'm just more into the penis. I'm more into the penis.

I understand. I get it. I'm into the penis, too. But, you know, we've all had our fun. Okay. Mitt Romney condoms. The same New York company behind the Obama condoms that made headlines in 2008 is now selling Mitt Romney condoms for $5 each. They're being marked for elitist penises and says they're tax free, so even the poor can afford them. Elitist penises. I think there's a little play on words. So everyone's saying that I'm not a Romney fan. Mitt Romney. I'm not a Romney. Well, I'm not a Romney fan either, but people love him. He's doing well. I think he's going to be the nominee. It seems like I'm all Ron Paul. Yeah.

Yeah. I love Ron Paul. I. I'm just not a Romney fan.

Okay. Well, you could buy it. So you won't be the one buying a Mitt Romney condom. That's okay. No, it's not. No, it doesn't seem like it. But speaking of condoms and speaking of our Valentine's Day contest that I answered you. We are giving away lots of condoms too from Lifestyle. So if you're interested in joining the contest again, go to lifestyle, go to our website, sexthelmy.com okay. Sex shop robberies are on the rise. Sex toy shops around America have seen a ration robberies in the last six months with armed thieves targeting vibrators, magazines, and sex dolls rather than money. One of the more amusing took place in January with a group of teenagers running into a Sacramento's fantasy factory and making off with a handful of dildos. Also, stores in Maryland, Ohio and Iowa have seen robbers come with replica vaginas and not paying attention to cash. This is so interesting to me that people are so desperate for sex toys that they are robbing stores because they want the sex toys, not for the money. That talks about the proliferation of sex toys around the world, around the country at least. I mean, this study came out last year that said that more than half of all women owned vibrators. So to say that like people are robbing stores for fake vaginas, I don't know what that says about the world, but I think it's interesting.

I think it's very interesting.

Yeah.

I mean.

People are stealing sex toys now.

They're not even like. Like you think they go into the sex store and be like, we want your cash? And they're like, no, we would like the, the vibrator. The de raditz.

Expensive, legit word.

I'd like that. Fake vagina, whatever. That's really interesting. Okay, for this one's really interesting. For Icelandic lovers, there's an incest database. So apparently in Iceland, the small local population of only 300,000 presents a very real danger of accidentally romancing one of your relatives. Thankfully, a new website called the Book of Icelanders allows residents to check for family background of their dates up to 1200 years to see if they would be in fact kissing cousins. That's a very strange. That's a very strange thing to have to deal with. And. But I guess if there's only 300,000 people, it would make sense.

I know, but there's still 300,000. There's no reason to do incense.

No, but there might be. 300,000 isn't that much. I mean, I feel like San Francisco either I've slept with everyone or my friends have. I mean, it's a small. We've at least 700,000 people here. It's small. I know this is my name. My relatives. My relatives are in Michigan, but still.

That's true.

I thought that was an interesting, interesting story there. So, okay, that's what we got for you for sex in the news. And also, if you ever have any sex in the news stories that you would like to share with us, you can always email us@feedbackexwithemily.com okay, I'm moving to some emails here. Yeah. Okay. Meeting people after divorce Been listening to your show for a while and I love it. I am recently divorced, but ready to meet new people. I never really played the dating game as I got married young and didn't have to date a whole lot before I found the woman I love. To say I lack experience in that field would be quite an understatement.

So.

So that brings me to my question. How do I introduce myself, start a conversation with someone without coming across as a creep? I figured women get annoyed at some point with all the guys in the room trying to get in their pants. For me, that isn't my goal. If it happens, great. But at the least, an interesting conversation would make my day. Any advice for this poor guy? FYI, I'm 29. Not sure if that helps or hurts. From Vu in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Well, Vu, I would say this is a question that we commonly get asked about, like, are there any special pickup lines? Is there anything in particular that I can say to get a woman? And honestly, I think it's just a matter of being yourself and being comfortable. I know that just might be like, oh, but I'm not comfortable. I'm insecure. But it's a matter of saying hi. Hi. How are you doing today? If you're getting coffee.

Really?

You like those latte? What do you think of the new gingerbread latte at Starbucks? I mean, it can be so. If you're standing in line at the coffee shop, I mean, it can be so basic. It can be so I'm not, you know, compliments a woman. You know, I always like a guy. Sometimes I think they're gay. But guys were like, really nice shoes. I'm like, wow, he likes my shoes. I think that's kind of hot. Any good pickup lines, Tiana? That have good. Not pickup lines, but any good openers? Think about the guys you've dated. How did they approach you? How did you meet them? Like, what did they do? That was right I think you just.

Kind of need to, like, exude like a smile and positive energy and just like, become it.

And.

And, you know, you don't need to go looking for people and, you know, just kind of be yourself and be happy. You know, exude that, like, exude like happy smile a lot.

Smile and be confident. It's all about wearing your confidence. And also sometimes it helps in situations to think about yourself like you are when you're with your friends. So, you know, when you're with your buddies and you're the most comfortable, like, you can do anything and be anyone. It's not like you're at work and you got to put on a certain face. Think about, try to get into and possess that body. Like before you're going out to meet someone or going to a bar, going to a party, like, try to just feel that feeling. Like, close your eyes, sit in your car. Like, how do I feel when I'm with my friends? And try to get into that, like, embody that mode of being and comfort and don't put women on this pedestal that, like, you need some special thing. Just be yourself because that's what ultimately you're going to be in the relationship. And what's going to make them attracted to you.

Yeah, totally. And it's hard. I mean, you. Like when you get. When you get married so young.

I know.

And you go through divorce and it's hard to, like, you know, it's really hard because you don't know how. You don't know how to.

I know. I actually have a friend who just started this website which I don't have the name of right now, but I'll bring it in. And he. It's just for people just like you vu who are coming out of a divorce, out of practice, things have changed, you know, they might have not had to have. They might not have had sexting when you were. You know, it's like people don't even call you anymore. They text, you know, things like that, that you just don't even. Yeah, he's got a whole website for people who are newly divorced. So I will bring that information in for you and let you know. Okay, next email. He doesn't want to have sex. Hi, Emily. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months and our relationship is amazing. I'm so happy with him, except for the fact that it seems like he barely ever wants to have sex. The first few months we were dating, we had sex every time we were together. But now that we were together, practically every Day, I feel like we never have sex. I've talked to him about it a few times and he tells me that he's definitely attracted to me and it's just that he's always tired. I just don't know what to do because I have never been in this situation before. I know we're both extremely happy with each other, but I don't want to use. But I. So I don't want this sex issue to come between us. I don't know what to do at this point to make it better. Please help. And this is from New Jersey Piscahtoway, New Jersey Premium Friends with Benefits member. You know, if you're a Friends with Benefits member, you get your emails answered right away. So we appreciate your writing and okay, the sex thing. Mismatched libidos. That is a really, really common, common question. We get asked, like, you mismatch, desire mismatch. Like you want it more than he does and like, what do you do about it? Well, first I would have to say that you need to talk about it. Communication is lubrication. Have you ever tried to talk to him about it and ask him, you know, what it is? He's tired. So a lot of times the reason why men don't want to have sex is about stress or he's tired or maybe he's overworked or he's really stressed about his job or money. Like money and job stressors are two really big things for men. What makes them don't want to have sex? Or is he depressed? I'm wondering how his mood is. I always think, I'm not a doctor, but I always think it's a good idea to send, you know, send him in for a checkup, see, make sure everything's working properly. You know, he's. You don't tell me how old you are. But, you know, I assume that everything should be working properly and he should have desire and, and eventually right now it's only been 10 months, but if this is something that is going to continue, I do believe this is something that you're not going to want to be in a relationship for a long time. If this is seriously an issue because you want to have sex. And if it's 10, you're not having sex together. And sometimes, you know, maybe you're spending too much time together. You're not living together, but you're spending practically every day together. Maybe you take some time apart. You know, I think that when you are together every day, couples fall into this rut and they're like, oh, you know, we don't need to have sex. Let's just make some popcorn and watch a movie. Have you ever been in that situation with a guy who doesn't want sex or you didn't want sex as much?

No, I always want sex.

That's good. Of course. That's how you work for sex.

I know this sounds bad, and I really don't want to, you know, reply to this like this, but when a guy doesn't want to have sex, you really have to question because all, like, men are naturally want to have sex more than we do. I feel like not everybody, not all men, but men are always thinking about sex.

Right.

So if he doesn't want to have sex, I think you really need to sit down and talk to him. Be like, just be honest. What's the issue here?

Because he's tired.

I think that's an excuse.

Yeah. An excuse for what, though? I mean, I think there could be some physiological thing going on. Yeah, no, I think it's true, and it is the stereotype that men want more sex than women. But I have to tell you that I've heard it is stereotype, and I think it's true. I think it is predominantly true. But I've heard from so many women.

That of this case, of this scenario, that the guy they're with doesn't.

Maybe you should start giving him some blowjobs.

Just. Just going down on him. Yeah.

And then maybe that'll get him going.

Yeah. Men love the oral sex.

If you just start sex, might maybe.

Start there and walks in the door, pull down his pants, give him a little blowjob or something like that. Not a bad idea. Who's gonna turn that down? I don't know. Anyone? Raise your hands. Anyone turn that down? No.

And I think a lot of men, too, like oral sex over sex. So maybe, maybe he. I don't know. Maybe you should start with that. She should start with that.

Yeah, exactly. That's a good point. That's always a good answer. Just give him a blowjob. Just throw a blowjob his way. He's gonna love it.

I mean, who doesn't like that?

Oh, honey, just. I'm gonna give you a blowjob and just shut up. Okay. Having sex with virgins. Hi, Emily. Love your show. Keep up the good work. I have a question. I've been dating my girlfriend for six months now, and she's a virgin. And we tried having sex but couldn't because it was painful for her. I know it's Painful for. For the time. So I just wanted to ask how I can make it better for her. So it's not that bad. Also, I kind of have a big penis, so it's making it worse. Thanks for your time. Regards to Reero Toriro. Okay, so here's the deal. First of all, the first time can be very painful for lots of women. I think that you should use lots and lots of lube. So go buy a good lube. AdamandEve.com has cells, plenty of lubes. I love their lube that has the pump. I have it next to my bed. It is a big honking jar of lube. It's a pump lube. And you can get use coupon code Emily at checkout. And you can get 50% off most items at Adam and Eve. But I'll get more into that later. But I would say that you got to move slow and maybe start with your fingers, Start warming her up. Are you. Are you performing foreplay on her? Because women need to open up. And actually, if you are performing foreplay, if you're performing oral sex on her, if you're turning her on, she'll be more open, she'll be more wet, naturally. But if she's nervous and she's scared because she's a virgin, I mean, it's common that this could happen, that it would be uncomfortable for her the first few times. So I think you guys are going to ease into it, no pun intended. And you're going to ease into it and it'll all work out. But I just say use lots of foreplay, use lots of lube and talk about it. And you don't want to hurt her. Maybe you just do a little bit at a time and see how it goes. And good for you for having a big penis, right?

I mean, I wish I had a good penis the first time.

No, I'm just kidding. It doesn't matter. Penis doesn't matter. We don't care.

It doesn't matter.

But I mean, we don't care that much.

We just slowly go into it. I mean, I've had a really big. And it's. It's. It hurts. Yeah, it kind of really need to, like, slowly.

You need to slowly be slow. Be really, really slow. Like if you have to use your fingers at first, whatever, and use slow. And go and talk about it a lot. How she's feeling, how she's experienced. Ask her. You put a little in how you feeling. Put a little more in how you're feeling a little. And until you're already in, but it might take a little bit. Take you a few months, but just slowly work up to it. I think you will be fine.

Before you know it. She'll be a pro.

Exactly. She'll be a professional giving you blowjobs. Okay, let's move into our Valentine's Day topic. Okay. Kelsey, did you want to come over here for Valentine's Day? Thanks, Tiana. Yeah.

Okay. Hello. Hi, Kelsey, this is Kelsey. What up? You might recognize her from all the videos on our website if you haven't checked them out yet.

Yeah, you should definitely check out. Death of a G spot.

Death of the G spot.

Very sad.

She's very sad because there was news that came out a few weeks ago that the G spot didn't exist, which we know for a fact that it does. And she's also highlighted in our Jimmy Jane videos where they're funny. Okay, so we're talking about Valentine's Day. We're gonna get into some Valentine's Day stuff. And there's been a ton. I mean, I can't tell you since I'm the press and media. I get hundreds of emails from people pitching me Valentine's Day stories. And then all the news media has, like, tips due on Valentine's Day. So we want to know. We're all going to talk about this here. What do you think? Are these ideas romantic or repulsive? You decide, and if you think they're romantic, maybe you do them yourself. We're going to let you know what we think. Okay. Number one, ask men says dog treats. The suggestion is to give these to a girl you've just started dating because you don't know her yet, but you know her dog will like treats. Okay. I personally think that's repulsive. If I was. If I. I mean, God, repulsive. So strong. Do we have to pick that word? It's not repulsive. It's just I would give her something. I think buying her dog something is adorable. I had a friend buy me my dog a Christmas present and I thought that was so cute. Like, he brought her all these little biscuits and I thought that was really cute. But he also got me something, so I think you have to get her something as well. But just giving dog treats is repulsive.

What kind of dog treats are they? Because, I mean, there's some, like, high end dog treats out there.

Yeah, but even if they're high end.

You can get some, like, penis shaped dog treats or. I don't know though, because I feel like giving a girl a dog treat is kind of like calling her a dog?

Yeah, in a way. I mean, it's a way of recognizing her dog, but you're not recognizing her. So I think that it's a good thing to do to give her dog treat for Valentine's Day. That's cute. Wrap it up in a little heart wrapping paper or something. But give her a present as well. I have a dog. I think that'd be cute if I was dating a guy and he gave me a dog for you.

What about a dog sweater?

No, you still gotta get something for her. But. Although my dog does need a dog sweater. That would be good, too. But, no, I think that you got to. You got to get her something else. You got to get her something, too. Okay, number two, Costco samples. SmartMarriage.com suggests this is a cheap, fun way to spend Valentine's Day. So, okay, let me get this straight. Smartmarriage.com is saying that you and your partner, you park in that hellacious Costco parking lot, and you get one of those big honking carts, and you go through the aisles and you eat the little salami on a Ritz cracker for free, and that's fun and romantic. I think Costco is the least romantic place on earth. I think that is repulsive. What do you think, Kelsey?

I'm not into it.

I'm not into it either. I mean, I think it's a fun thing to do on a Sunday. Like go to Costco, but not on Valentine's Day.

If you have a Costco card, maybe you can, like, pick up some beer.

Exactly. Let's. Maybe we should try to make these better. So, yes, if you have a Costco card, you could go buy her a bunch of cheap alcohol.

Sounds good to me.

Okay, good deal. Okay, number three, a trip to the bookstore. DealTitle.com suggests you go to a local bookstore to read love poems to each other for free.

What do you think?

I think it's really lame. Damn.

You wouldn't want a guy to read love poems to you.

I'd like him to, actually. No, I really hope that a dude does not write me something unless he's actually a talented writer. I think a lot of people think they're good at poetry, right? And it's just kind of one of those awkward situations where you're like, oh, yeah, that's.

But what about if he just makes the effort?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

But if it's bad. I know. It's like the guy who made me. I talked about this yesterday. The show the guy. Or it'll air Friday. But the guy who made me a naked painting of myself and it didn't look so good.

It didn't look so good.

So you gotta be a good artist. But this is saying, go to the bookstore and read love poems to each other. I'd say, buy a book and read love poems to each other when you're in bed that night. That's kind of sweet. Pick out your favorite love poem. Yeah, I think that's great. I used to have a guy that we used to read. We used to read short stories together in the bathtub. And that was really romantic.

Yeah, a lot of people like having their partner read to them. I know. My sister does that all the time. She makes her boyfriend, like, read books to her while she just lies there.

Yeah, a lot of people do that. That's common. I used to have a guy who did that, and I thought it was really. I actually thought it was romantic. It was a long time ago, and I still remember it fondly. We were in the bathtub, and he'd read me his favorite books, and I thought it was sweet. So that's a little twist on the trip to the bookstore. Okay, number four, list yourself on ebay. Cosmo says you make a goofy listing of your love and let your sweetheart win the auction. That's kind of quirky. I mean, I might laugh. I mean, I think it's kind of silly. I mean, some people might think that's really funny. I wouldn't be so turned on by that, I guess. What do you think about that?

I think that whenever you're doing anything on Craigslist and you're in a relationship, it's probably a bad idea, but this is ebay.

But I know what you're saying. Oh, ebay.

I was thinking Craigslist. I know someone who actually found out that their boyfriend was cheating on them on Craigslist.

Really?

Finding random people. Oh, and they're casual, but I see ebay. I mean, like, you'd be like, hey, honey.

And you send her the link and you're like, bid on me? I don't know. I mean, I guess it's a cute little.

How much money am I worth? I feel like that's what that means.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't like it. I don't think it's a good idea. Okay. A heartfelt workout mix. FitSugar.com says you should surprise your lover with a sexy workout mix.

I don't know if he works out every day. Your boyfriend goes to the gym or he's a girlfriend. She. Or he is a big runner or something. That could be part of your gift. All your favorite songs that you think are good to go work out with. Yeah.

As long as it's not one of those things where the person never exercises and you get a gift that's like a workout.

Right.

And then cd and you're like, oh, do you think I need to go to the gym more? My dad once bought me a jump rope for Christmas.

Oh, God. Right, right. Yeah. Just throw in a gift certific to Weight Watchers.

Right? Yeah. Like a great gym membership discount.

I still like when guys make me like CDs or whatever. Like, I love that. Or playlists. They make me like a cute. Like a playlist. Like, because I actually feel like when a guy has made me a playlist in the past, whether it's for working out or not, I always listen to the songs and think, like, why did he pick this song? And what does it really mean? And so I think that can actually be a romantic gesture. So I find that romantic, personally. Okay, this is from cooldates.com buy two canvases and paint with paints or do finger painting and design a picture for one another. I mean, if you're an artsy, fartsy couple and you want to paint and sit home and have a glass bottle of wine, I don't really mind that. Are you painting each other? You're doing finger painting and you have canvases? I don't know. I mean, it's something to do. Bottle of wine, some chocolates, make some dinner and paint.

I feel like it's trying too hard, though, in some ways, like getting the canvases. If you are talented at painting or you want to encourage your partner to paint, then I think it's cool. And I think that finger paints can be a bunch of fun, especially in, like, a sex scenario.

Right, right, right, right. Okay. Okay. This is another one from Cool dates dot com. Plant trees together. Find a local association that will provide trees and training.

I guess it's more like. Yeah, better for Earth Day or something. I mean, there are some couples, some earthy couples that would be really into that. I don't personally not that into that. What about you?

I don't think so.

You don't want to plant a tree.

With your lover maybe for like, solstice or something like that, and then you could, like, revisit it through the seasons, but nothing like, like, I made this big Valentine's Day plan with this tree. We're gonna go Plant it in this certain place.

Yeah, It's a symbol of our love. Blah, blah, blah. Like, I don't know. I don't know if that was. Would work.

You can buy them a tree. That would be cool.

Buy a tree, Right? Exactly. Okay. Build a fire, snuggle up, and read a good book or perhaps romantic poetry together. Make up some hot chocolate or spice cider. I think that's sweet if you want to stay home. Because for me, Valentine's Day is, like, not about the fancy dinner and the car and the card and the. And the flowers.

It's just.

So you're sitting in the restaurant with all these other couples awkwardly trying to have the most romantic night of their life. I actually prefer staying home and doing something romantic like that. So building a fire, reading a good book, poetry. That could be sweet if you guys are down with that kind of thing.

Yeah, I like it.

You down?

I'm actually kind of down.

You find that romantic?

It's a little cheesy, but in the best way possible, right?

Exactly. Okay. Take a picnic lunch and go to a lake to feed the ducks. Romantic or repulsive?

I don't think. I don't think you should feed the ducks. But I like the picnic lunch. I'm a fan of picnics. Watch the sunset. It can be during the day. It could be at night. It could be after work. I don't know where you live. We're here in California. It's pretty nice here. We could do that.

Yeah.

I've had a guy take me over to Marin county and, like, pack a lunch, which is right over the Golden Gate Bridge in the Bay Area, and we went up to this little grassy knoll and had, you know, wine and grapes and all the sexy food, and that was really fun. Okay, after an amazing steak dinner complimented by a beverage of your choice, head for a private hot tub.

That sounds pretty good.

That sounds good, too. Amazing steak dinner.

Although, be careful.

If you eat too much, you may not want to have sex after. Yeah, like, amazing steak dinner. I think steak, potatoes, and then you're too fooled to have sex. Maybe. But I like the private hot tub. Although I always get skeeved out by those private hot tubs. I don't know how clean they are. Depends where you live.

Isn't there, like, some urban myth that, like, sperm can, like, live in.

And, like, swim into other people's vaginas and impregnate them?

Oh, my God. I've never heard that before, but now I'm definitely not. No one do this.

No, I Don't think it's real. But aren't you. You should probably be careful too. Having like intense sex in like a heated.

Don't even have sex in it because you can't use protection if you need to use a condom. Like sex in the water always seems like a good idea, but it's not. It's never really a good idea.

It's shower sex.

Shower sex is awesome. I actually have a whole page on that. Whole page on that in my book. Shower sex. Shower sex is good. You should. There's different tricks for shower sex. Like there's different ways to do it and stuff like that. It's in my book. I can't remember right now. I can't get into it. But you lean over, make sure you're holding her legs like you. Because it can be slippery and you can like. I know several guys who've had sex in the shower and like with someone and like the woman has fallen or passed out or hit or had.

Didn't menace. Have sex with someone and the girl actually passed out during.

Yeah, in the shower. I have another friend who. The same thing that happened to. So I just would be weary about that. Okay, let's move into some cute date ideas. These are some ideas that we think are cute dates for Valentine's Day. Okay. You. Because we just talked about what's romantic and repulsive. We're talking about what the other media is saying, but this is what we think. Okay, here's some ideas. A themed date. Go out as an 80s couple and make asses of yourself. Or have two person. Two person prom at your house.

Yeah, I mean they're just, you know, like maybe there's like an 80s drinking night or something like that.

Yeah. Okay. I like it.

How are you gonna make asses of yourself? Have you done this?

I have not done this.

Okay, just curious. Just curious if this is something that you have practice on comedy show. As long as it's not open mic. Yeah. Open mic nights can be kind of a bummer, but just because you never know what you're gonna get. But a comedy show can be fun. I always like going to comedy shows. You're never like, you know, you're gonna laugh at least once, hopefully. Comedy shows are cute. Go to a live music show.

Yeah. If you like the music. If you guys both like the same bands or whatever, make a gift. Depends on your artistic skills. If you don't think you're very artistic, you can always do something cute with photos. I love photo gifts. I love like when guys make photo albums or photo collages or women make them for guys or whatever.

What do you think about, like, people who take pictures of themselves and give it to their partner?

That is interesting.

I think that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. Usually I think it's more that a couple takes pictures. Like, maybe it's a picture of both of them, but I know a lot of women who've done, like, these boudoir photographs where they're, like, sexy photos.

I really want to do one of those.

Do you?

I feel like I just want, like, some kind of photography friend to, like, be like, oh, I'll just give you these pictures and just like to have them.

I have some. I did it once. I can. I can hook you up.

But my. My friend, actually, he did a photo shoot for his girlfriend, and he got these boxer briefs and wrapped an American flag around himself, and we all took the pictures. It was actually kind of awkward, but that's cute.

Yeah.

I kept on, like, being like, I need to be at 60%. Like, his bo.

It wouldn't look too powerful, but.

And you gave it to her as a present?

Yeah, when she went away to Germany.

Oh, she was leaving the country. That's cute. Yeah.

So it was taking America with her.

Okay. Aw, that's cute. That's cute. I get it now with America, the flag. That's cute. At first I was like, really?

I think you need, like, Photoshop skills, though, or, like, a good camera. Nothing. Nothing like, amateur for that.

Exactly. Okay. Going to the place you first met, revisiting your first date, highlighting your inside jokes. I like that. I love the romanticism of going back to the place that you first met, when you first met. When you first fell in love, your first date. That's cute. That's right.

What if you were, like, blacked out drunk, though? Back to the bar.

Go back to the bar. Go back to the bar.

Bathroom.

Go back to the bar. Try not to barf and get blacked out, but go back to the same bar. How's that? Fast food picnic. Fast food in 40s.

Oh, yeah. That may or may not have been my idea.

It's the ironic Valentine's Day, so it would be kind of for people who would have a sense of humor about it. I would not recommend it for most people, but the idea of, like, packing, like, a really cute picnic, but having it be something like, in n out. If you both really love, like, a certain, like, fast food restaurant or cheap food or like, Chinese food or something like that, and you Know, creating, like, this romantic, like, dinner around something that's like, just, you know.

Right. Okay.

You're not into it, are you? You want to be.

I'm not that into it. I don't want fast food. I never want fast food, so I'm not that into it. But if you like fast food and that's your thing, then you can make it cute. You can put. Get some in and out burgers and put them on a nice plate and eat it or something.

Yeah, I mean, it's probably not good advice, though. I could see this backfiring.

These, like, candles, like, surrounding some McDonald's.

I know she'll be, like, in and out again. Like, really? Yeah, maybe not. Okay. Escape the crowds. Go to a place in the city not many people know about. Don't tell them exactly where you're going and surprise them with a cool spot with an amazing view. I think that's a great idea. Every town has that. Every. No matter where you live, there must be somewhere that you've been dying to go or someplace off the beaten track. I know I've lived in San Francisco for a really long time, and there's lots of places I've never been that I. That I would like to go to. And I would just be okay. The big. The bottom line here is you want the man or the woman or whoever you're with to have a plan. Just have a plan and be decisive about your plan. Don't be like, well, I was thinking we'd go to n out Burger. Maybe we could dress in the 80s. Or maybe we could do canvas painting. No. Pick one idea and, like, throw yourself into it wholeheartedly, and she or he will feel very good that you made the plan and that you stuck to it and that you had a decisive idea. So I like. I like the idea of going to a place that not many people know about. Do you like that?

Yeah, I love that. I think too, like, if somebody grew up in an area, they know it really well and I don't know, there's, like, always little places that, like, maybe they've been attached to, they have nostalgia for. And like, bringing someone to, like, your special, like, hidden or like your special thinking place or something like that can be really special.

Exactly. I like it. Okay, here's some. Should we into this now? We've got about. Yeah, okay. Because we're doing a little Valentine's Day tips all week, but here's the deal, okay? Sex ideas. Oh, no, no, no. Let's get into sex games. We'll do that tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going to give you some sex tips, some sex ideas. But.

Oh, sex ideas. Slow sex versus rough sex. But then we wanted to get into that. Okay, yeah, got it. Make slow romantic love. Okay. So people always ask me what my number one sex tip is. People are like, what's your number one sex tip for men? For women, I always say slow down. Especially for men. Everything that you're doing, do it five times slower. Just try that. I think that really works. Get kinky. Play out a fantasy or dabble in some bdsm. This is a great night. Valentine's Day is to try one thing differently. I'm sure you've been with someone. If you're celebrating Valentine's Day with them, you've probably been with them for a while and you've been having sex. Maybe it's amazing rockin banging sex, but what can you do that's different? So maybe you can get kinky. Play a fantasy. You can tie them up, tie him down, do whatever you want. For some bondage, you can get the sexy slave kit from Adamneve.com which is so awesome. It includes restraints cords, provides leeway for games you want to play, blindfold and a red feather tickler. So it's kind of like you don't even have to think about it. You just go to AdamAndEve.com here's the deal with Adam and Eve. They're such an awesome sex toy store online. You get 50% off one item. You get the free Kim Kardashian sex DVD, a free mystery gift and free shipping. And you just put coupon code Emily at checkout so you can get this sexy slave bondage kit from Adam and Eve and this Kim Kardashian dvd and a mystery gift and free shipping. I love the free shipping. I love the Kim Kardashian dvd. Love mystery gift. Who knows?

I still haven't seen the Kim Kardashian dvd.

I know. We should order something from them. Let's have them send it to us so it's not too late. You can still order today. It's Wednesday. You've still got some time. Okay. Buy your partner sex toy like the rabbit or a pocket rocket. So everyone knows the rabbit, right? The rabbit has been around for a long time. It's sort of the most infamous sex toy. I bet all those robbers are breaking into stores and stealing rabbits too. But. Or pocket rocket. A pocket rocket. So if your lover has never had a vibrator before, Pocket rocket is still one of my favorites. I think I have One in my purse for some reason. It's a little vibrator that's for clitoral stimulation. They're like 15, 20 bucks and you can get them. And they're a great starter vibrator. They come in pink. Adam and Eve send us one that's pink that we have. Whatever, whatever color you want. And they're really powerful and they're great to use during intercourse for clitoral stimulation. And finally, you can also buy him or her a C ring or cock ring, a bongo cock ring from Adam and Eve, as well as a screaming O. So the reasons why we love these rings are because they help men stay harder longer because it restricts the blood flow. And they also have now made these cock rings with vibrating, with vibrators on them. Little mini vibrators that hit the woman's clitoris while you're having sex. It's like a win win for all.

I'd recommend that I still have one of those lying around my room and I can't find it. You haven't used it yet, the bongo one? I haven't used it because it's somewhere in my room and I have to find it.

We'll have to get you another one. So these are some Valentine's tips for everyone. We just wanted you to make sure that you are getting your head space down and you're in your right mind for Valentine's Day and whether, you know, hopefully you're doing romantic things and not repulsive things. And just be creative, be yourself and don't stress about it too much. As long as you're heartfelt and you are doing something that feels good and from your heart and what you want, I think you'll have a good Valentine's Day.

Sounds good to me. I hate Valentine's Day.

Why?

It's just lame.

I do like the Vagina Monologues. I think anyone should try and find somewhere that's doing the Vagina Monologues because it's really positive.

It is for men too, huh? Yeah.

A bunch of guys will be like, oh, I'm not gonna go to that. And then I have guy friends who do. And they're like, that changed my life.

Yeah, Vagina Monologues is awesome. I think that's a great idea.

So that.

Yeah, that's a great idea too. Vagina Monologues. I'm sure they have it in a city that you are at somewhere. Some communities theater might be putting it on. Okay, remember, you can still win stuff at Sex with Emily. So go to sexwithemily.com, follow us on Facebook and Twitter Sex With Emily thanks everyone for listening to the show. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral.

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