SWE: Sex Challenge

Okay, let's be real. Confidence is sexy in and out of the bedroom. And when it comes to performance, sometimes a little support makes a big difference. So whether you're craving more stamina, fuller erections, or you're just looking to level up your pleasure game, there's a tool that's been helping people feel more empowered for years. Meet Bathmate, the world's leading hydro powered penis pump. These aren't gimmicks. They're FDA registered, backed by science, and designed to give real, lasting results. At Bathmate Direct, you'll find pumps that naturally support size, strength and blood flow, helping you experience bigger, harder, more energized erections over time. And because they work with water, they're more comfortable, more effective, and way safer than traditional air pumps. With just a few minutes a day, the Bathmate hydro pump can help you increase size and girth, gradually boost confidence in and out of the bedroom, improve stamina and performance, support stronger erections through better blood flow. And the best part, it's all natural, non invasive and totally shower friendly. You can literally work out your sexual wellness while you wash your hair.

It's iconic.

Right now, Bathmate Direct is giving our listeners 10% off when you use code SW10@bathmate direct.com that's Bathmate Direct B A T H M A T E D I r e c t.com use code SW10 for 10% off. So head to bathmate direct.com, use SW10 and level up your confidence.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping our show free for our listeners. Max for men, that's Max. The number four Men is a product line all about maximizing male pleasure, performance and attraction. So basically everything men want but can't figure out how to get. One of their most popular products is the Maps Arousal Pleasure Gel. It has ingredients known to arouse the penis and increase male libido, maximizing your pleasure during sex or masturbation. If you want to get the Max Arousal Pleasure Gel or any of their other amazing products, go to maxformen.com that's number four and use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off anything at max4men, that's coupon code EMILY25 for 25 percent off anything@maxformen.com or you can visit sexwithemily.com and get all the info you need there for better sex.

Hi everyone.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I no longer have the friends with benefits program. My podcast is completely free so that you can always enjoy Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend, cuz? My man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's got to have her standard. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our new podcasts. Sign up for our mailing list. Watch us on camera, interact with us. There's so many fun things happening. We'll be reading your emails that you sent to feedbackexwithemily.com and a lot of people are hitting me up on Facebook and Twitter through Sex with Emily. That's what you. That's how you find me. So some Topics today include 30 day sex challenge masturbation, how to tell your partner what feels good and how to let go in a new relationship, and how to make oral sex last longer. And for sex tips, we'll be telling you what guys really want, really want women to do, and they're afraid to tell you.

Okay.

See if you agree with any of those menace. So, yeah, that was my weekend and then I was helping a friend write her dating profile. So my friend, she is really wants to start dating online and she realizes that she really likes Jewish guys. Like, that's kind of her thing. She's not Jewish. She's like tall, blonde woman and she really likes Jewish guys. And I have a friend in LA who. Same thing. She's always had a thing, a penchant. Let's say I have a girl in.

My building that's like that.

Yeah. And I'm Jewish. If people didn't know that, I've brought that up. And I don't typically. I date Jewish guys. I don't date Jewish guys. But she wanted to. So I was like, you should date on J Date. Because my friend did that.

Yeah.

So they got on the phone and she wrote her profile and she has like 60 guys hitting her and she just likes. I don't know what it is. I mean, Jewish guys, I don't know, I don't want to say it.

I gotta give one guy to. For her to block on J date. I already know him.

Really? Okay, good, tell me. So I think that's interesting that there's like no holds barred, like if you like a Jewish guy, you like Christian. There's like Christian websites. You're not necessarily Christian.

So she just puts everything.

The Mormons. She said I'm not Jewish, but my, my. I really have a lot of Jewish friends and I'm really attached to the Jewish religion and a lot of guys didn't seem to care. And she got tons of emails.

I like that.

Isn't that a good thing? So I helped her write. Her profile is really fun. Picking out pictures because I've never done that. But I think this might be the year for me to online date.

I think it could be fun.

Maybe.

Seriously.

I've been saying that for years, but I just think for tons of reasons, for research, to go out with new guys that I haven't already dated because I feel like I've dated everybody in San Francisco. You want to hear something funny? The other day I ran into my guy friend at coffee that I go to the same coffee shop every morning and he's like, oh, he's like, it's so funny. My girlfriend was saying, oh yeah, her show, it sounds awesome. Sex with Everyone. She thought it was called Sex with Everyone. Well, kinda, but not really. That's not the name. So that's what's up with me. What's up with you? How was your weekend?

My weekend was busy as usual. I DJed two parties. And let me tell you about the second party I DJed, which is the club night that I throw with a friend of mine. And immediately when the the night started, these two really hot chicks were that they came to the party. One blonde, one brunette. And I kept on running into him, kept on talking to him all night. And then I have to stay till the club closes because I have to collect. I have to collect money and stuff.

Okay.

And I walk outside and the two girls were there. Oh like standing there, they were about to get a cab. No. And then.

Go, hey, it was thank you guys for coming out, blah, blah. You know, I do this party all the time. And I go, how are you guys getting home? And they go, oh, we're taking a cab. I was like, I can just drive you. It's no problem. Right? So I get them, they get in the car. And one of the girl, the blonde girl, like, grabs a guy, like some random guy. She's like, I want you to come with me. I guess she was talking to the guy throughout the night, right? So here I am in the car with the brunette girl, the blonde girl with another guy, and we're just driving to some, like, random house. They're like, oh, you gotta. You gotta stay and you gotta hang out and blah, blah, and gotta have a couple drinks, you know. I don't drink and drive, so I'm totally like, I'm sober. But then by the time I get there, I can tell they're like, kind of tipsy, you know?

Okay, I'm sure. And then was like two in the morning when the bar ends.

Yeah, yeah. So we go. And I go inside their house. I'm just like, hanging out and just talking with them. And the girl is like, kind of like saying like, okay, let's go to my bedroom, basically.

Okay. But I was.

I was totally. Yeah, I was, but I was totally sober, so.

You can't hook up when you're sober.

I'm sober, but she's kind of wasted. So I was like, no, I gotta go, I have to leave. So I left.

And were you attracted to her?

If she was, I was, but I. I'm totally sober and she's been drinking, so I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna hook up.

You're such a good man.

No, but I really want to hook up with her.

Oh, you did? Yeah. So is it more that you just felt like it wouldn'?

Right. Yeah, it's not right.

Oh, you're such a good guy. Most guys would be like, this is actually the right time. This is the right time to hook.

Up at 2am I left because the guy. The other guy's like. The other guy's like, what are you. He didn't even know me, right? He's like, what are you doing?

What happened to okay, so did you get our number?

Yeah, I got a number. I talked. She's like, texting me and stuff like that.

She's texting you?

Yeah, but I don't know.

Oh, I'm so busy. I don't know if I got.

Well, see, I mean, I'm busy until this weekend. Maybe after this weekend I'll hang out there. But. Yeah, it was just. I. I just never really.

That was really, really morally correct decision.

I. Yeah, but maybe if I was. If I was wasted.

How did you work till 2am and not drink?

Because you're driving I had.

I told you to take a cab.

If I took a cab, then I. You didn't listen to me.

That was the best advice ever give you. On Friday. You're like, it's a bummer, though, cuz I gotta drive. I'm like, take a cab.

My Saturday party too. But I ended up. But I ended up getting ride on the Friday one when you told me to, and I got kind of wasted.

Did you hook up on Friday?

Hook up on Friday.

Oh, bummer. I wish the girl was there Friday night. It would all worked out.

Yeah, it would have worked out.

Damn it.

I. You know, your goddamn conscious, you know?

I know.

Kicks in. And then.

That's true. You're a good man.

So. But then I. I know this has nothing to do with sex, but it was really fun. I got to interview this band called Shiny Tweet Guns the next day, and that was really enjoyable. And I put it up on my blog. So if you're a fan of that bin. Whitemenace.com.

Okay.

So you can check it out there.

Awesome.

And then I had to slept and drank champagne and ate ice cream, which is very manly, by the way.

Champagne and ice cream?

Yeah.

Not manly at all.

Yeah.

What movies?

I watched this movie called super, which was. It has the guy that plays Dwight in the office.

Okay.

And it's very interesting.

I watch tv.

What?

Okay. So I finally turned on my television set. I didn't even take the plastic wrap off yet because I thought, you know, they put plastic on the screen. I was like, I'm still. Like, I have buyer's remorse always. And I have commitment issues when I buy large pieces of equipment and other things. But I watched it, and I watch Hulu, but there's a delay. Like it takes a second to load all the time. Is that a known. Is that a known glitch?

Yeah.

Okay. No, I watched Cougar Town, though, because my friend.

Only because my friend told me that she's like, you remind me. Courteney Cox. And I had seen it, so I watched that actually.

You have a photo on the blog right now. You really look like Courtney Cox.

I know. I get that all the time. I get that.

No, I'm just. In this one photo.

I really. But you don't see it now, in this moment?

No, I don't see it in this.

Moment, but in that photograph over the years. Yeah. Which one? The one on the new site.

The. The latest blog post.

Oh, that's my new. That's my new headshots. I have a whole bunch of new photos on the new site. The new site is. I have to say, I looked at it and I'm like, oh, my God. Like, it's literally launching. It could be launching, like in an hour, or it could be launching in 24 hours, but it will be launched. There's just a few. You know how it is. There's like glitches, there's things you're working on. But it's amazing. The new site is just like. It's like videos and it's interactive.

What I like too is it has simple.

Buttons where you go, okay, you want to watch a video, click here. You want to listen to audio, click here. And what's going to be awesome is you will be able to call into the show shortly. Once we get some cabling, yeah, you.

Guys can all call in and talk to us. It's going to be so fun. So we'll still be reading your emails, but then we'll be getting your live questions. Any sex questions at all that you have, you can just call us and ask us and we'll answer them. And yeah, but just about the subscription thing, you do have to become a friends with benefits member. That's. That's my VIP club.

Yeah, I like that. You know, if you guys start getting upset that we started in charge, it's like been doing. You've been doing the show for five years for free sex. All six years for free. And like, we've done everything we can to support the show, but we really need your help. If you really like the show, you know, please, please support us. Yeah.

We beg you.

Buy a sandwich.

Yes. Buy me a sandwich. And. And then you'll get entertainment every single day. It'll be so, so awesome.

It'll be your daily newspaper. Your daily sex newspaper. Will there be things every single day about the show? News articles, tips, all that stuff?

Right? New tips every single day.

Yeah.

So it's awesome. And then what else? I'm trying to think. So, yeah, birthday party this week is gonna be exciting. And I'm gonna. I'm so bummed you can't come. Yeah, it's only like 20 piece, like a small.

What time is it?

At 7 to 10. And it's in Noe Valley, which is kind of far. I mean, I live in the city, but I live far from us. No press. Yeah, but it's good people. But I'm gonna have like, I would.

Go with you over the weekend, but you go into some stupid concert the next day.

Oh, I'm not going anymore.

Oh, you aren't yeah, okay, okay, I'll take you somewhere not know where that takes reservations. Oh, my God. Can I tell you something real quick?

You've taken me to Burger King.

No, but look at this. Okay, so I had a friend that's from the Bay Area, and, like, I'm not going to talk bad about L. A, but a lot of people that I know that. But the people from the Bay Area that I know, they're a little more humbler than usual, but even more humblers, maybe Midwest and stuff like that here in America. So anyways, I'm talking to her. She calls me up and she goes, hey, I'm in town because she moved to la. I'm at the W. Do you. Can I ask you a question? Do you know where there's a pizza place around the W? I was like, oh, yeah, there's California Pizza Kitchen. Kitchen right down the street. She goes, no, I need a place that. That takes reservations. She wouldn't go to any place that didn't take reservations in la.

Yeah.

I go, well, you let me know when you find a pizza place that takes reservations.

Exactly. That's crazy.

And then I hung up.

That's so funny. I mean, it's menace. It's not that I'm like, I will only go to restaurants with reservations, but San Francisco is known throughout the world as having some of the finest restaurants in this town. Really, like, culinary, like, they win awards, amazing restaurants. And so I want to partake. And so I live in the city and those. A lot of those restaurants need a reservation.

Yeah, but it's just. Okay, I'm not just. I'm not talking about you, but you.

To a reservation with the restaurant.

No, I'm just saying that. I'm just saying that. Not. It's not.

You'll be like. It doesn't come in cellophane.

No, it's not you. But, like, it just this. The people that say, I will not.

Go to places, I would never say.

They just want to go because, oh, it's the hip spot. Not because, oh, it's excellent food.

You know, I mean, I go get tacos in the Mission and burritos. I do. I live right near that. But sometimes when, like, I'm going out, like tonight, I'm going out somewhere for that needs a reservation, I assume I'm going out with this guy and we're going to dinner.

Oh, tell me.

No, just the guy that I've been dating, he's out of town. So boring.

The C blocker.

The C blocker. Oh, my God, I got a funny email about that that I'm not gonna read today. But someone's like, I think that you were really harsh on him because he was. He took you out on a date. I was talking with this guy c. Blocking me on a date. But I was on a date with him and I was picking up someone else and they said, that was rude of me. If you break it down.

Yeah, but I thought you guys had an understanding.

We did have an understanding. So anyway, I'll read that one tomorrow.

All right.

I thought that was funny.

This is a nice tease for tomorrow.

Nice little tease for tomorrow. Okay. I love that we can see like tomorrow. Yeah, that will be here tomorrow reading. Okay. So we could get into some sex in the news right now.

Okay, what do you got?

This is what I got. The first ever singles only church opens near Washington D.C. singles only church. Yep. It's very funny. The church double dating service. Young singles. So if you ever thought your local gym was a meat market, then you should check out Crystal City's 23rd Street Chapel. @ least if you're a Mormon. The Washington Post describes the chapel as the only worship space in the country devoted solely to unmarried people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. And from their description, it sounds like some spouse hunter central. In addition to standard worship service, this church offers a variety of social gatherings, from trivia to ping pong, all in the hopes of matchmaking their 800 congregants. While some of us prefer the presence of booze, I guess there are worse ways to meet your life mate than with free pizza and table tennis. Because the Mormons aren't having booze at their church. So it's interesting given that their faith forbids them from partaking in premarital sex. You can bet there's a lot of sexual tension among all these pious young folks. But what bed? What better way to get them to wed faster than the promise of lots of guilt free God approved sex? Yeah. So just like we're saying about my friend, she's dating on JD Whatever. Like maybe religion brings people together. I don't know if you, if you're very faithful, if you're a devout Mormon, this is a Mormon church, or whatever you are. I think it's good to. If there's a church that can help, may as well go to church. It's a twofer. Eat someone and go to.

Church. Yeah, I mean, if that's what you're into, then that makes it super.

Easy.

Exactly.

Don't like anybody in.

Church. Right. But I think That's. That's.

Good. Gives you another option. Mm, I like it. They have the Mormons. They have a really big website that my friends used to find girls on. Forget what it was called, like.

LDS or something like.

That.

Right?

Yeah. Latter Day. Latter Day.

Saints. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Courtney Love tells GQ that Kurt Cobain has a huge penis. That's the.

Headline.

Okay. Way too much information. Leave it to Courtney Love to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Nirvana's Nevermind by talking about Kurt Cobain's penis. The people at gq, of all places, seem to be the only ones who remember the occasion and did a good job rounding up enough Nirvana Aero notables to offer a pretty interesting oral history of the band. And then it comes to Courtney Love, and she gives her two cents. Kurt has had more presence and more beauty than Brad Pitt. Who wants to play? Kurt, by the way, he was a leader. He was strong, in fact, while he was effing Hong, if you really want to.

Know.

Wow. Why would she do that? You don't ever should talk about a man's penis, even if He's. He's dead 20 years later. She's like. They're like.

They're. They're commemorating them whenever she's not.

Knocking. They're commemorating his music, and we all need to know that he was hung. I mean, it's good information. It's a nice visual. Maybe it'll sell more albums. I don't know. But I just think you should never talk about. I never talk about a man's private parts, really. Unless it's like, my best. Best friend, she's like, how's his penis? I'm like, well. Well, it's, you.

Know. You know, it's nicely.

Shaped. I mean, I've had so many meals with friends where they're like, this, this, that, like they show.

You. But the.

Girl. I'm not gonna announce it to the press. I think that was disrespectful to Kurt.

Cobain. Well, she's done a lot of things that are disrespectful to Kurt.

Cobain. This is like the final. Like, really, you're talking about the penis? His.

Penis. We actually interviewed this. This writer not too long ago that was interviewing her, and what she used to do, she would actually keep his ashes inside a teddy.

Bear.

Okay. And then she. She was, like, so, like, drugged out that she started. She asked if the writer wanted to snort his ashes, and she snorted it right in front of.

Him. Oh, my God. She was already snorting stuff.

Anyway.

Yeah. And depressing and is she still a little messed up?

Huh? Oh, yeah, a.

Little. Like always. Like a lifer. Yeah. Until she.

Goes. No, she goes in and out. She's. She's comedic, though, when she.

Is. Is she? Yeah, I've met her. I met her once before. Okay. Adrienne Curry and Christopher Knight separate. Do you know who they are? They have their reality. They had a reality.

Show.

Yeah. My Fear, Brady stars Adrian Curry and Christopher Knight from the Brady Bunch have separated after five years of marriage. After starting a relationship with what seemed to be irreconcilable. After starting a relationship with what seemed to be irreconcilable differences, the couple has reached a period where those differences are no longer appreciated. This was Curry's first marriage and Knight's third. I mean, weren't they, like one of the first big reality stars, like, five, six years ago to get.

Married? Yeah, I don't think.

So. Not to get married. But they. They had a popular show, like, five years.

Ago. They did have a popular show.

Together. I never saw.

It. They. They were on the Surreal Life where they B level actors and they live in a house.

Together.

Exactly. Then. But then they had a spin off because they started dating and then they got married. See, that's how it works these days. But what if you get.

Married.

Yeah. And then you have a.

Kid. Reality TV stars who, like, highlight their marriages, typically, a lot of them don't work.

Out. Yeah. There hasn't been a good track.

Record. No, no, there hasn't. Remind me that. That ever happens to me, I'm not going to do.

That. They had. Who is it? Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian. That's the. The most recent one that I watch a.

Lot. Oh, you.

Do?

Yeah. You watch that? They have their own show.

Okay. Lamar. Yeah. Now I'm trying to have a.

Baby. Oh.

Okay. It's.

Cool. But.

It'S. It's really. Because I think their. Their family is really.

Funny.

Right. So it's always about, you know, how their family is living with them and, like, dealing with them. The moms, you know, she's a manager and she gets all crazy, and they. They don't really leave anything out. Like the brother. The brother. Just in this last episode of Rob Kardashian, it was talking about, you know, how he had unprotected sex with his girl and she might be pregnant and all this stuff, and they're just putting it out there that they.

Do. That's why I think they're so successful is like, there's like no holds barred. Like, they put everything out.

There. There's no really any filter at.

All. Right. And I think that's probably the key to their.

Success. They show like Kim Kardashian, like, hooking up with guys and.

Stuff. They show.

It. Yeah. I mean, they don't show her actually having sex, but like showing like, because we've already seen. Yeah, she's gonna sleep with this.

Guy.

Wow. And they like set it up and like him leaving the next morning and all that kind of.

Stuff. That's.

Amazing. Crazy. I didn't expect them to do things like.

That. No, I know. So that's why you're into it now, Jake. It sucked you in because I don't remember you watching this. These shows, I've.

Always. Oh, I've always. Okay, well, it's not on Bravo. That's on E. Oh, I thought it was on Bravo. The.

Kardashians. Oh, they are. Whatever. I'm just new at the TV thing and I don't have the cable yet, but I'm gonna do that. The cable. The interweb. Okay. This was headlines this morning. I know. I saw this at the gym when I got up naked and made my coffee in.

My. Oh, yeah, you always sleep naked.

Now. I always have slept naked. Who doesn't seem naked? It's the best time to sleep, to be. Even though it's kind of cold here. Like down.

Earthquakes. Earthquakes. You're gonna be running.

Around. I've got clothes all over my bedroom. I can take off my clothes and I get in bed and they're lying there next to my bed if there's an earthquake. Okay, Another international. So I taught this at the gym this morning. And this is another international banker arrested for sexual assault. Because of the gym. They have cnn. That's the only channel they have. And the cooking channel, which pisses me off when you don't have tv and that's your only options. Okay, so another international bank arrested for sexual assault. Is it two weeks ago already? Because the headline is almost exactly the same. An international money man has been arrested in New York City for allegedly assaulting a hotel maid. Mohammed Abel Salaam Omar, the 74 year old former chairman of Egypt Banks of Alexandria, allegedly groped and gyrated against the maid at the Pier Hotel on fifth.

Avenue.

Wow. He was wearing a bathrobe at the time, but it was not clear if anything he had. If he had anything on under it. This comes just two weeks after Dominic Strauss Kahn, the disgraced former head of the International Monetary Fund, was Charged with sexually assaulting a maid of the Sofi Tahota, Midtown. What is the deal with these two men? They're, like, famous international banker leaders, and they both groped hotel maids. Did you. That's so.

Odd.

Yeah. Like what? Like, they desperate. They're both in their 70s, 60s. They're older men. And I don't know if it's, like, they haven't gotten action a while, if it's.

Premeditated.

Yeah. It said that he ordered up a box of Kleenex from the maid, and she came in the room. He locks the door behind her, and he, like, starts gyrating against.

Her. People have been getting kind of crazy lately on planes. I just read a story.

Today. We're in a hotel, though, not a.

Plane. Oh, plane. Sorry, I just keep. Yeah, there was a plane today where this guy had a layover about two hours. So he decides, oh, he's gonna drink some Jack and Cokes. So. But there were doubles. He ended up having five by the time he got on the plane. So then he's walking down the plane, and he sees this hot chick. She's about 22 years old. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna sit next to her. So he. She starts, like, hitting on her, right? And he ends up telling her, oh, yeah, don't worry. You know, I know everything about this plane. I know everybody on the plane because I'm an air marshal, right? Yeah. And then so he starts joking around, and then he busses out a lighter, and then he starts, like, trying to light her feet on fire as a joke. Okay. And then. And then. So she. I guess she was just playing cool because she just thought this guy was really an air marshal, and he was just playing around. And then I guess he had some. A tube with documents in it, and he. And the girl was, like, playing with the tube, and he said, don't play with the tube because if you let it out, the gas will come out and everyone will go to sleep. Right. So after a while, she goes, okay, this is too weird. So she goes to the bathroom, she writes a message on her phone, and then leaves the phone in the back for the attendants to see it. They see it. They redirect the plane and land a plane. And then the guy said that he woke up and he was handcuffed and he couldn't remember a.

Thing. Oh, my.

God. He ended up having to go. He had to go to jail for three days. And then they sent him to a federal jail for another five.

Days. Oh, my God. Yeah. You don't want to mess up. You don't want to mess up in the international aerospace. You really don't. I almost got kicked out of the United Islands, United Airlines red carpet club once. They, like, brought in security and almost because I was pissed because I was flying first class. It was for this business trip years ago, and they should have let me in, but they weren't letting me in. I'm like, I'm not leaving. I was really upset because I had like an eight hour layover and. Have you ever been into the red carpet lounges, like the United Red Carpet, Our American Airlines Admirals Club? If you can get in those clubs, they're amazing because you have food and drink and free Internet. And I just, I was like traveling all day and weary and I was like yelling at the people, this is not me. Yeah, I'm not leaving here. I'm not leaving here. And then these guards come up behind me and they're like, ma', am, you're gonna have to go. And I'm like, I'm being escorted out of the. I know. So you got to be careful in.

Airspace. I was not led onto a plane because I was too drunk. But this was like, I don't know.

Yesterday. Yeah, this is like Friday.

Night. This was like 15 years ago. I was in San Diego and I had a skateboard and I could bring the skateboard with me on the carry on flying from San Diego, from San Francisco to San Diego, but when flying back, they want to let me bring it on. And I was running late. They let me go through the whole, like, check in.

Process. And they're like, to the.

Gate. They're like, you can't bring it on the.

Plane.

Why? And then I started cussing because I was drunk and they let me on the plane, and I had to wait 16 hours for a new.

Plane. Didn't let you on? No. You deviant. I can't believe it. Okay, well, that's in it. They let me on, but I just almost got escorted. Escorted. But you do have to be careful in international airspace.

Everyone.

Yeah. And how did he get a lighter on the airplane? Don't they confiscate.

This? I don't.

Know. Yeah. When I was going through my smoking phase, my cigarette smoking phase a while ago, for some reason, I can never find lighters. When you're a smoker, you can never find lighters anywhere. And all of a sudden I was like rushing the airport. I didn't try to go through my wallet and I go through my purse and it Was so embarrassing. I had, like, five lighters and a pack of matches of the book. Because I carry huge purses and they're like, ma'. Am. And they kept taking out all my lighters and. Because apparently they had all landed at the bottom of my purse, that's where they were. I was looking for them. Wow. Yeah, that's bad. Don't do that. Okay. Burlesque stars fight those who would strip away risque history. So you know all about burlesque dancing. There's been sort of a recent surge, I'd say, in the last five years. Like, Dita Von Teese is really famous burlesque dancing. And it's kind of a. They say they're bringing a 21st century to the old bump and grind. But on the other hand, burlesque is still attacked by people who. They deal with misconceptions, both within the community of people who do it and the general audience who confuse burlesque dancing with stripping. Now, burlesque dancing is much more of a performance. They don't necessarily get naked. They wear, like, pasties on their nipples, and it's much more of a dance thing. But there's a joke they say that's more truthful than they'd like it to be, says a famous burlesque dancer. What is the difference between a burlesque performance, burlesque performer and a stripper? Strippers make money, so apparently burlesque performances don't. Still, I believe, if your outfit can fit in your closed fist, you're probably not a burlesque performer. You're probably a stripper. If your whole entire outfit that you're wearing can fit in your. Yeah, that's how you tell the difference. So burlesque is going through a whole thing right now where they're being attacked as strippers, but they're really artistically performers. They're.

Performers.

They. There's so many burlesque stuff in San.

Francisco. Well, Las Vegas has been getting really popular. Again, there's Holly Madison, who is former Hugh Hef's girlfriend. She has a huge burlesque show in Las Vegas, and they have a whole reality show around that. She does that. Planet Hollywood. And there's another one, I believe, at the mgm where another Playboy girl has it and back. I don't. You know, I.

Don'T. Yeah, I mean, I'd.

Rather. If I have to.

Go. You're like, I want you get.

Naked. I'd rather go to a strip club, even though I'm not even. Because I think strip clubs are just, you know you're not gonna leave with anything. You know, some people do, some people do. But I'm just saying not.

Everybody. Typically, not everybody, but a lot of people. Some.

People. A lot of people. Don't say a lot of.

People. Okay, you're right. That's misleading to men. Yeah, but many men do hook up with.

Strippers. I would say 5% out of.

95%. Maybe that's fair. I don't know. We've had strippers on the show before. They've told us. But I know that one that's been on the show before, she met her husband that way. But I don't want to send mixed messages, people. I'm not saying you should go after all.

This. Don't go spend.

Thousands. She's gonna act like you are her daddy and you won because she's trying to get your money. So just be.

Careful. And they're good in Vegas.

Too. Oh, my God. Vegas is the best. And they make bank. It's crazy how much money, like they all fly in too, for the weekend. She'd make like 5,000, 6,000 in a.

Weekend. That's.

Crazy. I'm pissed, actually, that I wasn't a stripper when I could have been. I mean, I still could be, I guess, but I felt like in my 20s because I think I would have had fun doing it. I would have made a lot of money.

Not really, but sort of sometimes I think that would have been really fun to be a stripper for a minute, but maybe not. Okay, so I never did it. And so that's fine. It's not on my record, but I wouldn't have minded for a minute to do.

It. All.

Right. Okay. Should we get in some.

Emails?

Yeah. Okay. Thanks everyone for writing me feedback at sex with emily.com. there's also a new enhanced with the whole new website and the whole new deal that if you're a friends with benefits member, your email gets put at the top of the pile and we will be answering your emails ahead of time. We will also be doing five questions a week that we answer. Five of your emails we answer on video week. So I'll be doing special videos that are like answering questions instead of just doing them on the air. Okay, first off, just want to say that my long term boyfriend and I are both recent listeners and we love your show. Our sex life is greatly improved from the discussions that stem directly from the topics discussed on your show. However, we want to continue to strive for improvement and we want to do your proposed 30 day sex challenge while I'm all for having sex 30 days straight. There's a slight physical limitation. I've had a problem in the past where after having sex multiple times in a short time frame, things start to feel a bit sore and sensitive down there. After a certain point, lube just doesn't have any effect. Are there any tips or tricks for me to do this challenge with my boyfriend without it being so painful? Thanks, Amy and Josh. Okay. Yes, I have a lot to say about this. The butt. No, that wasn't even in the realm of what I was gonna.

Say. I was just trying to get.

Your head out of the.

Butt. What? I thought that's what you were gonna.

Say. So. No, you did. No, you didn't take it in the ass. No, I wasn't gonna say that. What I was gonna say is for sure. Take a break. Amy, if you're experiencing any pain at all, this is a great point. Of course, if you're not used to having sex every day, and if you're having little rougher sacks, like if you know a lot of. A lot of penetration, deep penetration, that could hurt. I mean, I've even had weekends of where I've had sex a lot and it hurts. So that is totally fine. But I think you can still do the 30 day challenge and just don't have intercourse. Remember, 30 day sex challenge sex is not limited to penetration in and out. Intercourse sex is also means can. Is just about touching each other in foreplay. So why don't you say that a few. Every other night you'll just. Or a few nights a week instead of having intercourse, or especially right now while you're hurting, to just have foreplay, just to touch each other. And you, you know, you perform oral sex on him, he performs oral sex on you. Explore in other areas or make it so you're not gonna have sex. Like do everything but have sex. And sometimes you're just gonna want it so bad, but just decide tonight we're not having sex tonight. We're exploring each other's bodies and different erogenous zones, but we're actually not gonna have sex. So you take sex out of the equation, and that's actually is something that they use a lot in couples therapy. Sometimes couples who are having a lot of sex issues, maybe he has issues with ejaculation or she has issues with orgasm or whatever it is you say, you know what, taking a course off the table. Pretend that you're just getting to know each other again. Pretend that you're just discovering each other's bodies. Again. And I would say to Amy and Josh that you should just start from that. Like, pretend what it was like when you first started dating. Spend a lot of time, like above the belt and exploring and doing things like that. And. And so you're still doing the 30 day challenge if you're not having intercourse is what I'm saying. So just, you know, play. Maybe play with some sex toys, bring in something new. Watch porn one night. That could be something fun. The 30 Day Sex Challenge is just about bringing in new things and just trying to get into a pattern of having sex again. So that's what I.

Recommend. I like.

That. Oh.

Good. Yeah. I agree with you at all.

When you agree with me, because sometimes menace doesn't. But I love the 30 day sex challenge. I think it's the best. I'm going to do that one day when I am having sex for 30 days consecutively with.

Somebody.

Sweet. When I'm with.

Somebody.

Yeah. That I know I'll be with for three days. Hasn't happened. Okay. Just moved to San Francisco and I stumbled upon a group called Onetaste. They are focused on the female orgasm and offer classes in San Francisco. However, I went to one of their parties and they seem more cultish than anything else. Do you know about these guys and are they legit? Signed Dashiell. Dashiell, Yes. I actually had members from Onetaste on the show about four years ago and they call themselves Orgasmic Monks. So basically they are a bunch of people that do. I can see why you're saying it's kind of cultish. They all live at this place called One Taste in the City and they actually have times throughout the day where like a bell goes off. I tell. I'm sorry if I miss if this is not exactly it. But it's like they have set times during the day or an alarm or a bell or something where you have to grab your partner and you masturbate them. The men. It's all about the men doing a certain kind. They have a very particular kind of touching that they do to the clitoris. And it's. They bring women to orgasm, like, throughout the day. You have a partner and it's all about, like, female pleasure and teaching men what to do. And they don't stay in the same place. They all stay in the same place in San.

Francisco.

What? We're actually probably gonna have someone from there on again because I think that they're very, very.

Interesting. They live in a.

House. They all live in a big, like a. It's Not a house. It's more like a dorms type thing. But it's a big, huge space in the.

City.

Yeah. And I find it fascinating. I mean, I spoke there once, and, you know, it's like anything. It's controversial, but I feel like with all these sex groups, and there's one taste is actually there's a group in New York that's similar to that. There's a lot of different things like this. And you know what? I'm not gonna judge them because I've never actually taken one of their classes. But it depends, like, what your issues are, what interests you. But if you're interested in learning how to please women more and you find this technique effective, that they have this very special masturbation technique, you can check out onetastesf.com or onetaste.com you can figure it out and see what you think. But I think they're legit to the sense of a lot of people get a lot of satisfaction from them and they work. But I've never actually taken a class there, so I can't say. But I've heard mixed things. But people like anything that's really effective, and people really like. They're like, that's a cult. Well, if it's a cult, that works, it's.

Fine. If it's a cult on your V.

Yeah. If it's a cult and people are. Men are orgasm. Men are bringing me to orgasm three times a day. I think I'm living in the wrong place personally, so I don't know. Dash. I'll check it out. Okay. Dear Emily, listening to your show at work on an MP3 player. Thanks for reminding me of things to do, compliments, and most importantly, bringing up things that are new for me to do. I really appreciate it. It's helped with my sex life. Tim Douglas. Thanks, Tim. I love that. I'm gonna put that on.

Yeah. Okay, everyone, tell us where you're from and tell us how you listen to the show. Yeah, we haven't said that in a while. That was your idea. Yeah, and I love that idea. That's our favorites. We want to know where you're from, and you don't have to use your real name. And if you don't want me to use your name, I want your name. A lot of people tell me not to use your name, and I.

Don'T. Yeah, but they don't say it till the end. Like, by the.

Way. Oh, by the way, I'm Max, but don't say Max. And then I've Already read Max and then I get in trouble. So please. But it's fine to be anonymous, but just tell us what city and.

State you're from, because this is live now. It's.

Live. It's.

Live. You can tune in and watch us live on the.

Interweb. Have we mentioned that? Yeah, because this show that you're listening to, not at this moment, but like, in the. This is May 31st. In the next few days, if you're just catching up with this episode, there is. There is a video of this. Like, there's a camera on me right now. And you can watch this actual show, but it might not be at this moment that you're listening to it. But I think it will be a little confusing with all the logistics. But you're gonna look up the show May 30th. You're gonna look them up now on the website by the date, and you click on May 31, and this will be the show. And you'll see an accompanying video if you become a Friends with Benefits.

Member. I love.

It. Love it, love it, love it. Okay, so. Hey, Emily. Hi, Menace. Love this episode. When you guys start talking about the randoms in the theaters about masturbating. I was laughing my ass off. I guess I'm gonna just keep on going about masturbation. I started masturbating when I was really young, like, elementary school. I have been having orgasms for a very long time, and I like to think this has made me a happy sexual being because I know what makes my body tick. People need to take more time to themselves and explore what makes them feel good and not be shy and to be able to communicate with their sex partner on what makes them feel good. Don't ever assume he or she's going to get it right the first time. You're so right. That communication is a.

Lubrication.

Yeah. My ex and I talk about our sex life, and he mentioned that if something didn't feel good, I would say, don't do this. He said it would have been better for me to say, try this, or voice when it did feel good. Some guys get frustrated if they feel their lady trying to please that they're trying to please their lady and they're not. The lady is not getting any satisfaction. And it might be because some of us are telling them what they shouldn't do rather than what they should be doing. Ciao for now. Megan. Megan, that is an awesome point. I make this point all the time. I love that you said that. It's very first of all, she's right. Women and men need to spend time figuring out what makes them feel good. Right. Because how else are you going to communicate to your partner? We all think that men, I think we're trained as women when we're growing up, that a man is going to come into our life and he's going to figure it all out and he's going to know all of our parts. But that's not how it happens. A lot of times we have to do either mutual masturbation, show what feels good, or just tell him. And her second part was that she would say to her boyfriend, and men don't like taking directions. So if you're saying to him, he already hates taking directions. A lot of men. But if you say, don't do this and don't do that, it's like anytime you give feedback, you should start with a positive. You should be like, you know what really would feel good if you did this. So the second year, she's saying that her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend, confronted her and said, I didn't like the way you were telling me what to do. You were telling me, don't do this. You were telling me that feels bad. That's just making a guy feel worse. Just saying, oh, my God, you know, it would feel really good. Instead of putting in the negative, you put in the positive. It would feel really good if you would move your hand a little to the left and grab my breast or something. However you want to say it. But don't say, don't, don't, don't. Because then he's feeling. Don't you think, like, ouch, ouch, don't.

Don'T. Yeah. Then he doesn't know what not to.

Do.

Right? You.

Know? Yeah, exactly. Wouldn't you rather have a woman, like, be like, oh, that feels great. And here's what would really feel better. Like, there's just ways to finesse it. It's all about communication.

Really. Don't down talk. Because then the guy gets afraid to do other.

Things. Yeah. He's like, oh, I heard her. Oh, that's bad. And it freaks guys out. It does. And I. And I think, I think, Megan, you're so smart. Thanks, Megan, for writing. Love that email. We're getting so many great.

Emails. I like.

That. I know. What were you going to.

Say? No, you had that look. Just waiting for the next.

Email. You're just on the edge of your.

Seat.

Yeah. Hey, Emily. Menace. I have to say, I'm a new listener and I love the podcast. Thanks for Airing more frequent shows. I listen to your show while I'm running and I giggle the entire time. Especially when you talk about. Especially when you talk about men with ponytails. Haha. I used to date one. No, he was not a.

Swinger. Oh my God. How do you even date a guy with a.

Ponytail? I don't.

Know. Sorry. Listeners who have ponytails, cut.

Them. Will you remind me that I want to have my friend on the show who I told you I talked about this a few months ago. He cut his ponytail off. He had it for years. He was defined by. He's the guy with the ponytail. Like I didn't even know his name. Cut his ponytail off and he's getting more action. Yeah. Than he's ever gotten his.

Life. Guys don't rock the.

Ponytail. No, but some women love it. She dated him. I'm just saying, I'm not, I'm not anti ponytail. I'm just saying personal friend of mine cut the ponytail off and a whole world opened up for him because it's a niche. It's a niche. If you have a ponytail, there's certain girls that are attracted to you and certain girls are not like, they're just like ponytail. Not going any.

Further.

What is his thoughts for having the ponytail that long after he get into that here? No, no, no. I'm just.

Saying. Why did he have.

It? No, no, no, no. When he did cut it and now he realizes that he's getting all.

The fast, he's probably like, I wish I could go back into.

It. Yeah. Did you, did you. Were you able to get an answer on that? Like, no. You thought about having a.

Point. That's why we're gonna get him on the show. Because I want to go, I want to friggin grill him. And I don't think he's a swinger. I don't think he's a swinger, but he might be. You never know in San Francisco. Everyone's like a swinger or something. Not everyone. Anyways, I hope you guys can give me some advice. I recently moved to a new city and I'm having a hard time opening up to meet men I date. I've noticed that men start to pull away because I'm unable to be myself and open up. I knew that these actions are because I was hurt in the past and I'm afraid to put myself out there again. But it's so frustrating. I notice myself sleeping with them early on in the relationship. Then once I sleep with them, I become more attached. But I'm still Unable to be myself. Then once I sleep with them, I become more attached and the cycle happens. I have noticed this pattern with the last four guys I've dated, and I just can't break out of the cycle. When I say I'm not myself, I mean, I become extremely quiet and lose my sense of humor. Almost as if I'm intimidated. Please.

Help.

P.S. you were talking about women giving men oral sex today. I find it to be such a turn on to perform oral sex on a man. It's not an instant turn on for me. Women need to try this when they're not in the mood. It could help. Thanks.

Kelly. Wow, Kelly, you're doing the Lord's work.

There. She's doing the Lord's.

Work. And.

It'S. It is true that women who think they don't like oral sex just start doing it. You can get into it. Like, I think we should do a show. I should do a show giving tips on how to perform oral sex. Because I think I'm good at it personally. And I've been told that I am. And I know, I've read.

Books. Are you gonna eat a banana or.

Something? Well, now that we have a camera in here, I can be like, I'm not gonna actually, but I think I could just show some tips. So first, going back to her not opening up and not being herself because she was hurt in the past. First, I want to say, Kelly, that is so insightful of you. Just to know yourself well enough to know that you're not opening up and to know that it's because of past hurt. So the first thing is admitting that there's an issue there for you that you want to change. And what I would say is just, it takes practice. And the more that you date and the more that you go out, you'll be more comfortable with yourself and opening up. But some things that you could do, specifically starting out are just think about if you can. Like that you're hanging out with your friends, Your friends love you, they know you. When you're with a guy, I think that you tend to. A lot of men and women do this. They put him on this pedestal. It's like a bigger deal. Like being with a man is different than being with a woman. And if you can somehow try to train yourself that, like, I'm just with a friend, it doesn't have to mean anything. Don't put all the weight on it. Think about how you would be acting if you were with your friends or the stories that you would tell when you're with your friends and just try to translate. Like, don't give this guy so much power. It sounds like the men you're with, you're just giving them a lot of power that they could break your heart. And so you're not showing them the real you because it sounds like you've got a great personality. And I'm sure that you, when you open up, you are just a gem. So you want guys to see that part of you. I have a friend who goes to the same things and it really. She was the same way. She, for years dated men and she was so nervous that she actually would bring me on dates with her because she couldn't.

Talk.

What? She was terrified. She was like, I. And she was the most lively, hilarious friend that I had. But she was like, just come with us. Show up at the date. And I would show up on the date and be like, oh my God. Did you know that I'll call her.

Beth?

Yeah. No, did you know that Beth was. Used to be. Have a, have a, you know, an amazing company where she did whatever. And I would just be selling her because she couldn't do it herself. But the more she dated and the more she practiced and the more she got her confidence up, she was, she doesn't need me anymore. But I think at first she had all this like preconceived notions about how she, you know, that it meant so much. And I think if you could just kind of change your mindset and there's also like little warm up exercises you can do before a date. Like, this sounds kind of silly, but like positive reinforcement. Like make a list of things you want to talk about or stories that you want to tell and just sit and be like, I'm look in the mirror and just be like, I'm a frigging rock star and I'm going to rock this date and I'm awesome and I have all these great friends and I know how to communicate and I'm not going to let this guy intimidate.

Me. I like that.

Idea.

Yeah. I would also recommend, like, do your best. Do your very best not to be clingy right away because she gets attached. Yeah. This scares guys off.

Right? How soon is I'm gonna pull a menace to.

Emily? How.

Soon? How soon? When is someone.

Clingy?

If you are not in committed relationship and you are constantly contacting them, then. Then you're.

Clingy. Let the guy contact.

You.

Yeah. But what she's saying is it's like her mind and her heart are Disconnected, because she. She gets very attached, but she's still not opening up. So the guys are like, why are you. I dated a guy like this recently. He was, like, so into me and said he wanted to commit. Not recently, but whatever. It all feels recent. Maybe it was a year. And he kept saying, like, let's get closer. Let's commit. And I'm like, you haven't opened up at all. You haven't shown any of yourself. So it's like, she might be doing this weird. Like, I'm really attached to you. And they're like, you haven't even opened up to me and showed me who you.

Are. So I would.

Just. Yeah. Don't get clingy. Never get.

Clingy.

Relax. Deep breaths. We all forget to breathe. Do you ever forget to breathe? So important. I mean, we naturally breathe, but sometimes you just have to, like, take 10 deep breaths before a date before you get.

Nervous. Yeah, I haven't done.

That. You don't.

Breathe? No, I.

Should. You don't have issues with breathing, do.

You?

No. Okay, we have another email.

Ready. Oh, I was just watching a movie actually, over the weekend. It was good luck, Chuck. With who else? Some comedian and Jessica Alba. And he. He was afraid that she was gonna dump him. So then he just started going to the extreme where he was just sending flowers all the time, showing up with, you know, those guys that singing telegrams and dressed up because she worked at an aquatic park. So he was dressing up like a penguin, and he was always around. And then he just scared her.

Off.

Yeah. Because he was so afraid of losing her. I know it's a.

Movie.

Desperate.

But people do act like.

That. I know. They get.

Really. It's Dane Cook, by the.

Way. And sometimes it works like. But it usually doesn't. I think everyone just needs to relax and keep, keep, keep calm when you're falling in love or falling in Lost or whatever. Just keep calm and carry on. Carry on. Operate your normal activities. What's that saying? Resume the normally scheduled programming. They say that on television. We're gonna go back to our regularly scheduled program. That means you go back to your regularly scheduled behavior. And don't become obsess, clingy, prematurely or.

Ever.

No. Okay. Emily Menace. Love the show, obviously. I don't know if it's obvious, but I love it. Started listening around episode 200, but I've done my best to go back and catch up. I wanted to write a letter regarding. On the last show to you guys regarding a letter in the last show from a woman who wants her long distance, I believe boyfriend, to perform oral sex on her longer and to completion. Personally, I love performing oral sex on a woman. So I thought I could provide some help to women from a man's.

Perspective.

Okay. First, provide verbal feedback. Not necessarily explicit instructions, though those work too. But moans and groans when he's hitting the right spots. Just keep up the communication. It's super sexy. Second, don't just lay there. Run your fingers through his hair or grip onto his shoulder. Squeeze tighter when something feels good. This makes it a much more mutual experience. Even if your touching is non erogenous. Try 69ing too. You'll enjoy performing on him and him more and vice versa. Cheers, Justin from New Jersey. Thanks.

Justin. 69. You know, we haven't talked about.

This. Okay, let's talk about it. Because I've got. I've got serious. I've got really big feelings about.

69.

Really?

Yeah. What are your.

Feelings? Okay, so 69 position. Does everyone know what that is? When you're 60, when you're. How do you explain it? When the man. It could be the man or the woman on top, but you're reversed. So you're. Both of your mouths are on each other's genitalia and you're forming like a six and a nine. Mm, here's my issue, my personal issue with the 69. I have people who love 69. My issue is that it's confusing. There's too much to do because I'm receiving pleasure, but then I'm supposed to be giving pleasure. So I'm giving pleasure, but then I can't focus on the pleasure that I'm.

Receiving.

Yeah. And it's like my ADD kicks in and I'm like so confused about where to be putting my attention. Because I want. If I'm performing oral sex, like, I want it to be Rockstar Killer. Like, I don't want to just let it go. So I'm focusing on like. Like focusing on performing really well. But then the man's also performing me and I can't. I just don't love 69. I have to say, I just. It.

Sounds. You're anti.

69. I'm kind of anti 69, but people love it, so don't listen to me. Some people can break apart that they don't have that problem. But I'd rather perform, have oral sex performed on me and then I'll perform it on someone else. But at the same time, it's just too much going on. It's like eating and playing piano or Something at the same time, like it's too much. Yeah, I just want one. How do you feel.

That? It's like kind of like patting your head and rubbing your.

Stomach. That's what I mean. I can't even do that, I don't think. But do you, like.

69? I will. I'll break the news here. I don't think I have ever attempted or done.

69. That's not a shock to.

Me. No. Not just because I was ant. I.

Just. I know. You just never did.

It. Just never did it. It's not that I've done everything else. No, I'm sure everything that involves the 69. Just not in the.

Right.

Right.

Yeah. It's kind of a bummer position. It bums me out. I'm like, really? Like, I don't like when guys are like, let's do that. But it's been a while. I don't think it's happened a while. But whenever it does, I'm like.

Bummer. Well, feedback calm. Is the 69 position.

Overhyped?

Exactly. Yes or.

No? We have polls on the site now. We have a poll every.

Day. Oh, you have a poll every day.

Now? Yeah, we've got so much stuff going on inside that I can't even. I can't even express to you guys that how much is going on on the new website. It's crazy and it's amazing and it's. It's exciting. Like today I had. Yesterday I was working all.

Weekend. Okay, we can't forget that. So what's. We'll tell the intern to put that up right away, which is.

69. Yeah, we could do that. Will you remember that overhyped Internet Kelsey? We can call her by the name.

Right?

Kelsey? Yeah. Hi, Kelsey. Okay, sorry, Kelsey, can't see. Sorry, Kelsey, if you don't want your name expressed that you're on the show, but I've got the best interns ever, by the way. Okay, let's get into some sex tips. All right, all right. I've got what guys really want and what they're afraid to tell.

You. All right, please tell me it was guy written by guys and surveyed by.

Guys. It's written by a woman, but she might have. She surveyed.

Men. Oh, God. Okay, have a woman tell me what guys.

Want. Okay.

Ready?

Yes. Stop. They want it, and I want to see what everyone thinks of that. This is not for me. This is from something that I found, and I think some of it makes sense. They want a girl who will masturbate in front of.

Him. I don't care about.

That. Some women feel that it's a guy's job to make her feel good. Most guys don't have any problem providing their partner with a mind blowing orgasm. However, sometimes they wish that a girl would take charge of her own sexual pleasure. Ladies, it requires at least a little effort on your part to get yourself in the mood. So why not take a little further? So a lot of guys, okay, most would love to watch their girls masturbate. Especially if she has no idea he was there watching. What is so hot about this is that during feeling masturbation, he gets to watch you touch yourself exactly how you like to be touched. There's no guessing if it's the right thing or if it feels good. He gets to see her hand, what really turns around. It's not that whole mutual masturbation thing. And it is the last day of masturbation month because May was masturbation month. Are you sad? So they want to grow and masturbate? You.

Disagree? Yeah, I don't.

Care. But would you? If a woman was like, I'm gonna turn myself on right now, masturbate, you wouldn't kick her out of your bed?

No. I'll say go for.

It.

Right? That's.

Cool. Wouldn't you be turned.

On? I don't.

Know. What do you mean you don't know? I don't know if a woman started touching herself. Okay, you don't know? I'm just gonna take.

You.

Yeah, if she was touching me, then.

Cool. But what if she was touching you in or.

Something? Then yeah, I'll probably be turned on. But if she was just touching herself, probably not.

Such a.

Menace. I want to put you under a cat's brain.

Scan. Why? I just.

Do. I just want you during sex. Like, you know how, like they do all those studies where they hook people up to these wires and they watch their brains during sex? Like yours would be like off the charts weird. They'd be like, I don't get it. A woman touches balls and he had the same reaction that he was being attacked by a pack of wolves.

Or he was browsing the Internet, checking his.

Email. Exactly, he's checking his email and she was tugging his balls. Okay, they want to watch in the mirror. We talked about mirrors and sex the other day. Guys are visual creatures. That's pretty much a given. A lot of men enjoying watching porn for that specific reason. But does that mean that they're enjoying watching the other women because they're hotter than you are or because they turn them on more than you. Absolutely not. In fact, your guy will probably give his eye teeth to actually watch you and him getting it on. Filming a naughty video together is also great fun, but there's always the risk that it'll get out, especially if you and your man don't work it on the end. So great way to do it is to get a mirror in your bedroom and just to put like get one of those big mirrors and watch yourself. It's super hot to do and some women, like, might not want to watch. But when you get into it and you do it, it's pretty hot. You've done that.

Right? Yeah, I have a. I had a mirror in my old. My old.

Place. You got to get some mirror in a new place. I know mirrors are fun, especially in hotel rooms. They always have mirrors. They always have great mirrors for some hotels. The hotels I stay at. Okay. They want a girl who's not afraid to get dirty. Let's face it, guys don't want to get it on with a prude. If you're. If you're into the missionary position, he's probably not going to be that into you. If you're only into the missionary position. Almost every guy wants to get busy with a girl who isn't afraid to bring on the kink. Try a little light bondage to get started and then move into something a little naughtier. Whether you're indulging a secret sex fetish or coming to bed wearing nothing but tall black stilettos and a rhinestone necklace, he's going to love that you're showing off your naughty girl size. Do you want a girl that's naughty in.

Bed? Of course. Who doesn't really? Yeah. That's kind of obvious. But I want to ask something that it to me, it girls that won't do certain things. If there's any girls out there. Feedback with sexemily.com I have ran in a couple girls that don't like to get on top. Oh, well, I don't know why. They'll do everything. They'll do every other position known to man. But getting on.

Top. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you the number. I'll tell you what the first thing that came to.

Mind. They have awesome bodies, by the.

Way.

Okay. So there's no body issues.

There. Doesn't.

Matter.

Okay. Doesn't matter. They don't think they have awesome bodies. I'm telling you, the number one reason why women and feedback at Sexual Emily. If you don't come, I think That a lot of women have body issues and they just don't like their. Them being full on. Like, you can look at her in all our glory. Like, even if they have awesome bodies, they might not think they have awesome bodies. I can't imagine any other reason why women. Maybe they don't want to be in control. And, you know, when woman's on top, she's in control. And maybe they just. Or maybe a lot of women orgasm on the bottom and they can't orgasm on the top, but you'd still think that they'd want to be on top just because it's fun to switch it around. And I. They say a lot of women, what I've read and what I've heard is that it's because they have body image issues. So just because you think their body's hot doesn't mean that they don't feel like they've got some weird scar that you probably can't even.

See.

Yeah. Has this happened to you a lot or just with one.

Woman? No, couple women. But you know what? It's gonna be fun when we have a phone line in here because I can probably call them and be like, you won't have to say her name and tell me why. And they'll probably say, you can.

Call the girl you slept with and ask her why she wouldn't.

Get. Yeah, I'm cool with everybody. So am I. Yeah. So let's call.

Them.

Okay. They're not.

Gonna. Men worry about it. Really? That'd be awesome. Don't make those promises. You can't keep.

Them. No, I'm. I.

Swear. Dude, we're doing it, okay? We're calling every girl men's to slept with. But we might be her wife. They want a girl to take control. I hear this a lot in a lot of studies that men complain that women do not make the first move. They don't take control in the bedroom. I do think that there's the social mores of just. We're used to the man, he's taking charge. But just every once in a while, women just. You start, take control, take a. Take it, Jump on top of them, do what you want to.

Do. That's my.

Favorite. Bondage. Tie them up, whatever. Well, Menace probably wouldn't want to be tied up. He's afraid you're gonna leave him.

There and you're gonna rob me and the place is gonna catch on.

Fire. Okay. They want a girl who will get. Who will perform oral sex on him and like.

It. Yeah.

Sure. Most girls will give it give a guy perform oral sex, but some won't. The true gem, however, is the girl who loves it, who actually loves it. They're probably the number one spot on the list of sex acts that guys can't live without. Think about this, how enjoyable it is when a guy goes down on you that it's like. And if he feels like it's a chore and he doesn't want to be down there, we don't want that. And that's why women, I think a lot of times don't like receiving oral sex is because they think the guy's just doing it and he's not into it. So flip side, same for women if you don't. I know. I did this poll once of men. I should bring out this study again. It's an, it's an oral sex poll of like what men really want. And like the number one thing was enthusiasm. I want to know that she's into it. I want to see her like, like it's like a popsicle.

So then, okay, men want rough socks.

Yes, every guy wants to pound a girl into an orgasmic frenzy. But very few men will actually tell their partners that they usually because he's afraid he's gonna hurt her. You enjoy rough sex. Don't be shy about it with your lover. Next time you have sex with your man, assume the dog established and tell him that you want it fast and you want it hard. He'll happily oblige. But sometimes rough sex can be very unsafe. So take precautions first, decide a safe word, blah, blah, blah. But I don't know, everyone wants rough sex. I think every person wants everything sometimes in variety. It's not rough sex all the time. And some women might never want it. But I think to mix it up. Rough sex? Yeah, kind of.

Fun. Well, I know, but you said that you like it. You know, gotta slow it.

Down. Yes, you have to slow it down, but sometimes you need to rough it up. I want to be thrown against the wall sometimes. Like throw me against the wall. Like rip my clothes off. Throw me against the wall. Throw me on the bed. Hot. Don't hurt me. Yeah, but it's hot. Sometimes I think men and women like that. And then finally they want a girl who is confident. Confidence.

Confidence is sexy. Unfortunately, lots of women, no matter how hot or how beautiful they are, AKA the woman that you're sleeping with, that don't like the missionary position. Menace. They are insecure about themselves and the way they look and have low self esteem. However, what your guy sees when he looks at you, especially when he looks up at you. Naked is not the same as what you see in the mirror. Let go of all your insecurities and inhibitions and look at yourself the way your partner look. Easier said than done. But confidence women, if you can just fake it till you make it. I know that we don't. We're not all blessed with confidence and it takes a long time and I get insecure all the time. We all do. But if you can in the bedroom, just celebrate your body. Get your mind off of, oh, he's gonna look at my left boobs bigger than my right boob. Women have so many weird things. They're like, oh, he's gonna notice that my nipple goes like, I have friends. My nipple protrudes out in like a half an inch. They're not paying attention to. They don't have rulers out measuring your nipples. So whatever it is you're concerned about, just try to be confident and get into the moment. And that's what I got to.

Say. Just don't. Some girls that are insecure are overly confident. Too.

True. Could be misleading. What? They come off like they're super confident, but really they're like shrinking violets or.

Whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's.

Good. So that's good to look out for. So those are some tips. Anyway, send me your sex tips too if you got any ideas or topics you want to hear on the show. We love hearing from you. We've got five days a week. That's five hours a week of Sex with Emily. So thanks everyone for listening to the show and thanks for subscribing to our our new Friends with Benefits program. And please be gentle with the website. It's not going to be perfect, but it's right off the bat. So send me your notes of what you think about it. And that's what I got for you today. So thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackaxwithemily.com hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping our show free for our listeners. Max for Men, that's Max. The number four Men is a product line all about maximizing male pleasure, performance and attraction. So basically, everything men want but can't figure out how to get, men need to overcome their fears and embrace the amazing pleasure of the prostate. Mac's G stimulating prostate gel is perfect if you're just starting to explore the male G spot or if you're a prostate veteran. It increases both sensation and arousal. If you want to get the Max Stimulating Prostate Gel or any of their other amazing products, go to maxformen.com that's the number four and use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off anything at Max for Men. That's coupon code EMILY25 for 25 percent off anything at Max for Men. Or you can visit sexwithemily.com and get all the info you need there for better sex. Thanks for.

Listening.

There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. People don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health, magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sex with Emily for 50% off. And here's a bonus, use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.