SWE: Sex Drive

Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you.

That's right.

Everyone who signs up wins something. And if you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bi woman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. And now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic.

Or.

Or their famous whisper collection. You know, the first fully ever silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, parents, or even if your partner is sleeping right next to you, these toys are silent without compromising power. Or their new Pebble Pro.

They just one up their best selling.

Pebble with a stronger, smarter and seriously spicy redesign. Ballast has somehow figured out how to engineer a one stop pleasure shop with three interchangeable heads. It sucks. It humps. It licks. It vibrates. I'm speechless. And of course, I had to hook.

All of you up.

So my friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to everyone who signs up. You heard that, right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com Emily that's B B V I B E S.com Emily.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God.

I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you get all your sex information answered and you will improve your sex life. Especially if you become a friends with Benefits member. It's 4.95amonth. It's not a big deal. It's like 23 cents a day, which is so worth it for better sex. I'm like your personal sex coach because if you become a Friends of Benefits member, we answer your emails right away. You can email us as a feedbackexwithemily.com you can also email us. You can also find us Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily and the White Menace. You can find him White Menace everywhere. Everywhere.

Instagram's my favorite. As I say, every show, love Instagram.

Everyone's loving the Instagram.

I'm sorry. So many people try to add me on Path, but you can only have 150 friends on path.

I don't know what that is. I don't want to get it.

A lot of people do.

That's on technology with Emily.

Here's one that you do. You do know is Pinterest and I'm on there, but I haven't really used it that much.

I'm on Pinterest too, and I don't get it yet. I haven't even looked at it, but I get a million followers. But I haven't done it yet. Pinterest, it's like the biggest thing ever. Now they say they have more traffic than Facebook. I read.

Yeah, I don't get where you post things.

I don't get, like, whatever. We don't have to get into it. Whatever. People do that shit.

People do it and they have a lot of signups.

It's the whole new thing.

Yeah. I mean, a lot of actually females are really into it.

Yeah. But I don't get where you get the pictures that you post on Pinterest. Like, where do you people get those?

Neat.

Gives you a screen grab and then you.

No, no, no, you can copy the URL for the photograph and then you can just post it.

Oh, got it. Okay.

You right click, you look at the source, you copy the source and then you put it in there.

Oh, you come over and show me that sometime maybe.

Okay.

Okay.

You can be on Pinterest all day.

I am. I love it. Okay, so today's show, we are talking about libido, mix match libidos. This is one of the top questions I get asked, like, I want more sex than my partner. She wants more sex than me. He wants more sex than her. And what do you do about it? And what does that really mean? Libido. We've got the woman named Julie Wilson. She's the founder of Hot Rocks. I'm gonna hold this up to the camera here. Hot Rocks is this amazing superfood injected aphrodisiac is what they're calling it. It's the only organic food pills that you take every day. And they help your sexual performance, your overall vitality, your energy, your mood, libido. It's like an antidepressant, a libido enhancer, energy enhancer, all mixed in one. And I'm so they just sent us these samples today and I'm so ready to try it. It sounds amazing. I've heard great reviews of Hot Rocks. It's spelled H O T R A R K S R A W K S and it's by Raw Nation. So anyway, we're going to talk to her later and that's what our show is about today. And we're going to be reading your emails that you sent a feedbackexwithemily.com and a lot of you just emailed me through the website. We've got some good topics, some good things going on and yeah, that's how I'm feeling. And I got lots of energy today because I've sort of upped my coffee intake.

Really?

I don't know. My coffee shop, I love. I go to the gym in the morning, so then I get the coffee at 7, but by 10, 9, 30, I need more coffee.

Is that gluten free?

Coffee is gluten free.

Okay.

Yeah. So I feel really good and I've got lots of energy right now. Can you tell? And I brought you condoms and you didn't seem happy. No, I just didn't because they'd just been late.

It took you three months to bring them.

I forgot. But Lifestyle's condoms are awesome. They sent us a whole bunch of them and I brought Menace a big handful today. Cause I'm hoping that that will incentivize you to get laid so you'll have better stories to share and you probably are getting laid and just not shar and I don't appreciate that.

What about you?

I'm getting.

Tell me about your last sexual encounter.

It's been a while. No, it's been.

Don't attack me.

I just want to know more about you. So my. So yesterday's show was interesting. Our friend talked about. He was on the show when he talked about the other day. This is actually Wednesday's show, but right now. But Monday he talked about dating online. And my friend, I was with her last night, she met a guy on match.com. she's single. She met him, they had one date and they went away to Whistler, skiing up in. Where is Whistler? Like in Canada? No, where is it?

I think it's. It's up Tahoe area.

Yeah. Okay. They went for four days, had an amazing. She Met him on.

She, she's after one date. She went on a trip.

She. I was at her house last night. She went on. Has had like an amazing five day vacation with him. Had sex, the whole thing. Really likes him on Match.

Man, he went the extra mile just to get laid.

I don't know, whatever. But he got laid and he's into her and she really likes him. So I've, I've had a lot of friends who've met people on Match. All. So I'm telling you, online dating is the way to go. It's like, don't feel weird about it. Don't feel there's a stigma.

Yeah, no, we, we just had a dating guy here.

Right.

Yesterday.

Right, exactly. So I'm just saying like. And then last night my friend was telling me this amazing story because she hasn't dated for a while. She's hot. I know all women say their friends are hot, but she really is. And she just wasn't finding guys. She's a little bit older and she's just like found a guy and he's awesome and I love those stories. Like easy online. She wouldn't have met him any other way.

When are we gonna get you online?

I don't know.

You've been saying it for like two years now.

Tomorrow I'll do it, I promise. And then also if you are interested at all in any sexual products, sex toys, if you want to buy anything sexually related, whips, chains, vibrators, lubes, go to goodvibes.com, that's goodvibes.com and you put in coupon code GVMILY15 and you get 15% off anything home, good vibes. And they're a local company and we love supporting them. That's what I got.

What happened with you yesterday?

Yesterday was I went to my friend's house for, for, for cocktails and she regaled me in all her stories of her match. Of her match. Dating I love. Well, I had heard through a mutual friend that, that, that my friend had found a guy and I wanted to hear all the stories about it. And they like great sex and great sexual chemistry. And she's like. It's weird though, cause it's only been two weeks, but it feels like they're in a relationship now. Cause you go on vacation on date, which I did that once with a guy. We went to Mexico on our second date and I ended up dating him for two years. Maybe it's not a bad thing. Yeah, if anything, you force things to the forefront. You're like Either A, I can travel with him, or B, I can't dump him.

Yeah.

It'S gonna be a whirlwind situation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So she's into them. What's up with you? Yesterday, since I've seen you last, I.

Received a new MacBook Pro. Very. Yeah, I finally got it.

Can you please edit our Kandi Burgess video from Real Housewives of Atlanta?

I just got it yesterday. Get off my back. Yesterday afternoon.

I love it, but you want to marry it?

I want to marry it, but God damn, am I screwed because I haven't been, you know, using updated software. Oh, holy crap. They totally changed Final Cut Pro. Like, totally. Like, none of it's the same from before.

Really? Why would they do that? I don't know.

And then yesterday we had an artist come by. His name was Chris Renee. He was on the X Factor. He was like the runner up, right? Very popular. And so I shot all this video of him and then I put it into the Final Cut Pro and I'm like, what do I do? There's so many. So many things have changed.

Why would they do that? Because then it's so hard to get. But I'm sure you can figure it out.

Yeah, I just started figuring it out this morning. But it's still a long road from, like, learning how to use things again. But they did make some upgrades that are pretty amazing.

Oh, that's cool. There must be, like, message boards and stuff that you could look at.

It's like, ah, now I gotta go through classes. But what's great about Apple is in their stores. They let you go there and they'll take free classes. Take free classes.

I know. I always mean to do that.

I think I'm gonna do that for Final Cut Pro. So learn faster.

Good. Good for you, Menace. Yeah, continued learning.

I need to. I mean, it's part of my job.

To do this stuff. That's true. But still, I appreciate it. We all appreciate it. And I want to get my videos done. Not that it's about me at all.

Never. It's never about you.

No. Well, maybe a little bit. Anything else? Because I'm gonna move on to sex of the news.

No, that's about it. That's my whole day. And then I just went home and slept.

So good to see you. I'm so lucky I get to stand, sit here and stare at your face every day.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, I mean that. Okay, so some sex in the news, over the counter sperm count tests coming to stores next month. So there's a Sperm count infertility. It's called Sperm Count Infertility. The company behind the new Sperm Check at Home Testing Test kit will be rolling its product into stores as early as March in an effort to help men avoid potentially embarrassing trips to the fertility clinic. For only 40 bucks, men can find out their sperm count in only 10 minutes to 98% accuracy. If for whatever, you can't wait a minute longer. CVS and Walgreens are currently selling the kit on their websites. So men can check their sperm count when they're fertile, when they, you know, want to have sex, when they want to make babies. That's a good time to test it out.

So they gotta just test it. Just test it.

Yeah, I got lots of sperm. Let's go.

How do I get more sperm? I just want to be full of.

No, you don't. You want to get a bunch of women pregnant right now. That's why I brought you condoms today. Yeah, that. You didn't appreciate it.

Five baby mamas.

Oh, my God. I think you could do that. Really? Okay.

I don't know how I watch Maury every day. Cause I have a TV right next to my.

Who watches Maury?

I watch it all the time because they do the paternity test.

Oh, thanks.

It's hilarious.

They're like, you are not the baby dating.

Yeah. Oh, my God. And then they'll have some guys on there that have like seven kids by seven different chicks. Like, how do you do that?

I don't know. You just have a lot of sex.

Yeah, you just have a lot of sex, but damn.

A lot of unprotected sex, like an idiot.

Yeah, but then you think, damn, like, how financially, how do you just get by? You must just not care. You must not, like, I don't know.

You get thrown in jail or something.

Seven kids.

Literally seven kids.

Yeah, that's. That's. That's tame, what I'm saying.

That's how Maury Porvich. Maury. Maury Povich is making his living now. Right. Is doing paternity tests on television and.

Like cheating stories and stuff like that. And just like, that's kinda sad.

Cause he started out, like, doing morning.

So did Jerry Springer. But that's not what the people want. People just want crazy.

Should we start doing that?

What? Paternity test. Yeah, I would love to do it.

Paternity test Friday or something.

Oh, my God, that would be amazing. Do they. They have home paternity tests right now?

Do they?

Yeah, you can do it at your house.

Why would you ever Put yourself on Maury Po. What. What is the pros to being a dude, to finding out on national television that you are not the baby daddy or that you are the baby daddy?

Well, I don't think some people have the means to do it. And like some of the guys, they actually believe that they're not the father.

Right?

So they, they're like, fine, bring it. They're like, fine, bring it. I get to have a free trip in hotel room and get.

I get to go to New York.

City films, do what all these different things, and then, then I get to prove on national TV that you're lying, biatch.

Right? And then.

But some of them get caught up.

Because that's kind of crazy. It's like a cliffhanger.

Yeah.

Yeah. I never, I've never seen it, but I know, I've read that he's. That's what all he does now.

Ye would do it. I would do it too. If I knew for. If I knew for a fact that I was not the father of some chick and this chick is going around telling everybody. I would put that on national television and say, hey, hey, let's. Let's do the test right now and then prove that she's a liar.

But the guys do that. They think that they're not the dad.

And then they find out that they are the dad.

Yeah. That's awesome. I actually want to come watch that.

You should. It's hilarious.

Okay, I'll put it on the list.

Watching all day.

I watched Bethany's episode number two last night of Bethany.

Oh, you did? Me too. Me too.

Oh my God. What'd you think? A little annoying.

No. Why do you say that? I love her.

I love her too. But I just think.

Yeah, right. I do like half assed comments. You don't? You don't. You're not fond of her. Just say it.

No, no, no.

I say I love her, but a little annoying.

I like her, but I feel like there's a lot of the same, like, oh my God, this is the best thing I've ever had. This is the best thing I ever had. This is the best thing I ever had. Everything she says, like, the best food I ever had. The best day ever. I don't know, it just. And then she's.

Maybe all that stuff is. Maybe that's not what she's saying all the time, but maybe that's how it's cut together.

It's true.

You have to worry about editing. I like it. I'm telling you, I'm Watching television.

She talks really fast. Like, once she starts asking questions, she starts asking a lot of questions in a row.

And even her husband's like, I can't get a word in edgewise, so I'm not finishing the story right now. You said that to her? Do you feel that way with me?

No. Because I can interject. Interject? Yeah.

Yeah. We have a good, healthy balance, me and you.

But it's fun. I really wanted to see how she just starts spending money, but she hasn't done that yet.

Well, yeah. She had an Hermes bag last night, which is a tenth. Like, I noticed this stuff as a chick. She came into every episode, she has a different bag. Hermes bags are $10,000. She had one sitting right next to her.

Well, if you can afford it, she's a millionaire. I'll get an Hermes bag.

Right?

I know I can get one for myself. Just like.

So that's how she's spending her money. And then they're moving into this amazing new condo, but they're still living in her little place, but they're moving into an amazing new place. Anyway, we're talking about Bethany Ever after, which is on Bravo. Okay. More sex in the news. Red is officially the sexiest color, says scientists. So scientists even say this. Well, I know, because red, you think about, like, Valentine's Day and stuff, but. University of Rochester men were asked to look at photos of the same women wearing white and red shirts and asked which one was more interested in sex. Men overwhelmingly found the women in red to be more sexually receptive, leading researchers to believe that biology must play an important role in our preferences. They cited that. The fact that chimpanzees and baboon females turn flush during their fertile periods as evidence for evolutionary reasons at men look for a devil in a red dress.

And did they say anything about redheads?

No, but that would be interesting.

Yeah.

You like redheads or you don't? I can't remember. You have a feeling about it?

Redheads. I'm gonna get killed for saying this, but redheads are either super attractive or super not attractive. There's like, an in between point or.

There isn't an in between. They're either hot or not.

Yeah. There's no in between.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay, that's interesting.

But I do love redheads.

Right? I've never dated a redhead.

I took one to my junior prom. I think it's harder for redhead guys than girls.

Yeah. I think they're cute, though. They got the freckles. Yeah. I want to see pictures of you at the junior prom. We should post those. I'll post my junior prom picture if you post your junior prom picture.

I got to see which one I like.

I had really big hair.

Really?

Yeah. I grew up in the suburbs. Yeah.

I went to four proms.

Yeah.

So I'll find which one's the best.

Find the cutest one. I want to see little menace. Will you do that? Ask your mom. Do you have them at home or have your mom?

No, they're up in Washington. Okay, I'm sure I can find one online. I talked to the girl that I went to junior prom with all the time online.

Have her send it to you. Okay. An Irish city flooded by rampant public shagging.

What?

Parents in the city of Durie are calling on their peers to stop having sex in public parks. Or at least the very lease to pick up the condoms and wrappers that currently littered local playgrounds. Parents appealed to the city council to intervene on the part of the public hygiene. And part of public hygiene, but also directly address those involved in park philandering, asking them to think of the children. So apparently this is a city in Ireland that everyone's just shagging in the park more so than other parks.

Why don't they just have more cops patrolling the park?

Because it's Ireland. They're a poor, poor country. I don't care. I don't know. They care, but they don't care enough. Yeah, it's like Dolores park here that used to be just drug infested and now everyone's all the hipsters are partying there on the weekend.

Oh my God. I was driving by there not too long ago and there's full on naked guys there.

Oh yeah, naked everything. San Francisco people are naked all the time. Did you hear this story about that naked woman, that 250 pound naked woman who smashed in the car of her woman? No, there was a woman in San Francisco. I just heard this, the dog park last night with all my dog park friends. I mean, I might get this wrong because I didn't read the story, but there's 250 pound woman was naked and she climbed. She was in traffic naked in San Francisco. Climbed on the windshield of her partner's car and smashed it in. She was like naked and smashed it in. And he's not pressing charges because he's like, well, we just had a fight or something and then she got on the bus naked. You didn't hear about this? I thought you would have heard about this because you're like, I have not. That's just Our own little local sex in the news about naked people. You know you've seen a lot of naked people around here.

Yeah, but barely everybody. Any naked women? It's always naked guys now that she was 250. I know, I know. But I didn't.

Right.

I always see naked guys here all the time.

I know. You're like, oh, there's another naked guy. Pass the salt. Like we don't care. Yeah, right. Okay. Ashton Kutcher is hot for Hallelujah. Halle Berry. The National Enquirers reporting that Ashton Kutcher is extending his cougar streak to Halle Berry, 11 years older, his 11 years his senior. The two have known each other since 2003. And according to sources, Ashton Kutcher had a crush on her during his relationship with Demi Moore. Standing in the way of Kutcher and is Barry's current boyfriend, French actor Oliver Martinez. Still, sources say his big ego will probably keep pursuing her. It was in the National Enquirer.

Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know. They're pretty good, though.

I know. My friend used to tell me he's like National Enquirer. Actually, everything you read there is, there's some partial truths. Like it's not all made up lies. It's like you could find a kernel of truth in it.

Well, probably true that he might have had a crush on her, right?

I don't know that he's like, pursuing her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that'd be a bummer for poor Demi. I think she's still in rehab because we haven't heard anything much about her.

I haven't heard anything about her.

Nothing. I feel bad. Okay, you got some emails. Unless you have any news to add that you've read about or heard about in your TMZ rants or anything, rampages.

Nothing big lately.

Okay. No, got it.

I know. Sad.

That is sad.

I usually have something.

I know you usually got something. Okay, here's some emails, everyone. Thanks for emailing us. At FeedBackexWithelmi.com, we love hearing from the people, so thanks. And if you're a friends with benefits member, we just. Your emails go right to the top. Hey, Emily met a good boy who has a lot going for himself. A good boy. She put in quotes. He's very financially stable. He's a homeowner, great career, attractive, no drama, great kisser. But on the downside, he's shorter than I would like. He's five eight and I'm five' five. His penis size is kind of on the short side and the sex is just okay. And because of this, I keep comparing him to my ex, who is a bad boy. Not financially stable, has roommates, not a stable career, and baby mama drama, but he's 6 3, passionate, and the sex is mind blowing. Any woman would have loved to be with the good boy, but I'm worried that he won't be able to please me. And I would only stay with him because he's good on paper. Any thoughts, Michelle? Okay, Michelle. Good on paper. I spent a lot of time in my life dating good on paper, good on paper. This guy's not doing it for you. It sounds to me like not great sex, not a great kisser, but there's no drama. You can find something. There are other good boys out there. I'm glad you left the bad boy. But just because this guy's your first good guy doesn't mean that he's the one that you should be with. I. You. You have to sometimes let a lot of good guy. Good on paper doesn't mean anything. Good on paper does not get your loins going. So it sounds like he's not doing that for you. And I don't think that you should feel bad like there aren't any more good guys out there just because we tend to heal our past relationships and our current relationships. So it sounds like you're trying to get over the bad bo drama of your past, and since you met a good guy, you're clinging on to him thinking, okay, he's this, he's this, he's this. And talking yourself into it. Talking yourself into somebody won't work. And if the sex isn't working, I'm not saying you can't work on it because maybe you can communicate with him more and try to work on that. But if it doesn't get better, don't feel bad about dumping the good on paper guy. I've done it before. I'll do it again.

Yeah, there's a lot of good guys that are the same way too, though. They're like, they're good on paper, but just kind of boring to be around.

Exactly. I actually have a postcard on my refrigerator that my friend sent me, and it says, why can't he's good on paper, why don't I like him? Or why can't I be with him? He's good on paper. And it's true, that good on paper thing is something that I struggled with a lot. There was a lot of good guys that I had to let go just because they were great. On paper it doesn't mean they're right. And she says.

There'S the but. She's got the big but but on the downside. And then she goes on and on and on. So I'd say he's not right for you, Michelle. So that's my theory on that. But I should say you should stay away from the bad boys and keep going towards the good boys and you will find the right good boy soon enough. Okay. Hi, Emily. Love the show and I'm a Friends with Benefits member from New Zealand. Question. I've been with the guy for seven months. I am 37, he is 42. He was married a long time and has kids. I have done neither. We got together while both staying with relatives due to sports injuries. I recently moved to his city. I've been staying with him for three weeks till I move into my new place. And we both said we didn't want to move in together. Having said that, it's been exclusive from the start and we share a lot of interest in great sex. But he doesn't want to sleep with me, as in sharing a bed for ages. There was always an excuse, the kids or he's really tired or trouble relating to his back energy. I think that intimacy from going to bed together is important. He's not by nature an affectionate person, but he is lovely during sex and is a lovely person. He does not think this is a problem, but I do. I hate how I feel rejected basically. What do you think? I wonder if this is a sign. I've told him his lack of affection is a deal breaker for me. Should this be a deal breaker? This is from Louise from Auckland, New Zealand. She's a premium Friends with benefits member, which is why we're answering her email right away. She's been with him seven months and so basically he doesn't want to sleep in the same bed is what she's saying. And we actually had a study yesterday, a sex in the news story that talked about how 1 in 10 couples actually don't share beds together and it says it improves their sex life. So I'm wondering if, you know, it can improve your sex life but you're also saying that there's a lack of affection and for me that's a deal breaker if a guy's not affectionate with me. I need that. Like I'm a touchy feely person and I know a lot of women are and, and you're saying that there's an excuse. There's always these excuses and if you feel like you're a woman who wants to live with someone and share a bed. That could be a big deal breaker for, you know. I understand that. I totally understand.

Yeah. I wouldn't. I wouldn't agree to that situation.

You wouldn't? Yeah. She says she feels rejected. So I would say. I would have. I would have more. I wouldn't say you need to dump them yet, but I would say have more communication about it because it's for three weeks. I'm trying out to figure. See what you said? You said that you haven't been. You're having great sex, but he doesn't want to sleep with you and share bed. Yeah, that could be a total deal breaker. I. My favorite thing sometimes more than sex is cuddling. When you fall asleep and when you wake up in the morning. Menace isn't a big cuddler. He said, right? No, but I love that.

And I need that and sticky.

Yeah, there's cuddlers and there's non cuddlers.

To me, I like cuddling, but just not for hours on the end.

No, you roll to your other sides of the bed.

Like, let's cuddle for like five minutes after. That's fine.

And then five minutes, you set your watch and then you kick her off you.

Yeah. Then it just. My. My phone starts going, and then that's the time that you roll over and I roll over the other way and we don't face each other, and then I'm in total bliss.

Right. But you don't you want us to share a bed?

I do want to share a bed, though.

It's really nice sharing a bed. And so I just think that that could be a major deal breaker. But you need to have more talk about it. Maybe he'll come around.

Cause what about if I get a boner? I don't want to walk all the way down the hall.

Exactly.

I have to walk all the way down the hall and then wake you up and say, hey, when I can just like, you know, flip and flip.

Your over and stick it in her back or something.

Yeah, stick it in.

Stick the bone on her back and then be like, hey, I'm awake. But I would talk to him more, and it could be a deal breaker. I'm not sure yet, but I would have more conversations. Okay, we are gonna move into our topic.

And the topic is.

The topic is libido. We're talking all about libidos, which is a Latin word for lust and desire. But in today's world, it is mornings with biological, social, and psychological Components. Yeah. Freudians consider the unconscious need to become united with objects in the physical world. So Freud is always talking about sex, and everyone else considers libido their sex drive, which can be affected by various factors. So there are factors that affect your libido. So libido is a huge issue for couples because a lot of times he wants more sex, she wants more sex than he does. So a lot of times, the things that can affect your libido are your relationship. You might have unresolved conflicts. There might have been infidelity. There might be poor communication. Any of these can affect libido. It could be psychological. It could come from past traumas. It could come from stress. A lot of times, I know more so than women. When men are stressed out, they don't want to have sex. When they're worried about their career, they lost their job, they don't have whatever. They worry about that. Intimacy problems. Body image issues are huge for women and men, but more so for women, it seems. At least that's what we hear. You feel you're fat, you don't want the light on. Whatever it is that could have a problem with your libido, you might have extreme anxiety.

Pornography or sex addiction could also affect your libido. It could be physical obesity and then aging. Just as men and women get older, their sex drives take a dive. And we're gonna talk about in today's show what you can do to enhance your libido. There are things you can do to enhance it. Another thing, I'm just gonna talk about factors that can impact it. And then we're gonna call our special guest, Julie Wilson, who sent me these amazing drugs that are apparently gonna make my libido skyrocket. I just got it today in the mail. Don't know yet. Gonna take it. Lifestyle working long hours. Drug abuse and alcoholism. Drugs and alcohol have a huge impact on your libido. And if you don't have a lot of sleep. Last five.

I have all these factors.

I know, honey. That's why you know libido medications. There's many prescription medications.

The medications.

The biggest bummer is antidepressants, because antidepressants, blood pressure medications, can hamper arousal and ability to achieve orgasm. So that's a frigging long list of things. Menace, if you punch list that. He's got all those. And so those are all problems for menace. And for a lot of people, I mean, a lot of people are antidepressants, blood pressure medications. Like those are two of the most common medications. People Take. It's gonna affect your libido. Let's talk to an expert in libido. Let's call Julie Wilson. She's from Hot Rocks, which is from raw Nation. It's HotRocks.com, it's R A W K S. And she makes this amazing product and she just sent it to me. It's the only organic one out there. And it's called Hot Rock Super. It's called a superfood injected aphrodisiac. And the way she talked to me about this, I seriously want to pound this entire bottle right now because it's going to change my life.

You want to pound it?

I kind of want to pound it. Pound it, baby. Pound it.

Let's call her. See how it works. Hello. Hi.

Hi, Julie.

Hi. How are you?

Great. How are you? This is Emily Menis.

Wonderful. Thank you guys for calling. How's it going?

It's going really well. We're so excited because we just received our hot rocks today. It's in my hand. I did. So excited. I just said I want to pound the whole bottle. I seriously am so excited. I know I can only take two to four a day, but seriously, it sounds amazing. So talk to me a little bit about hot rocks and then we can get. I just did a whole thing about libidos and things that can impact your libido. But so, like, you know, wait, before we get into Hot Rocks, because I just did a little pitch about that. Why do you think people lose interest in sex or don't feel sexual anymore? What is your impact? What do you think? What do you see the most out there?

Well, Emily, I think there's a variety of factors that affect it. And obviously we're exposed to pollution and chemicals and a lot more toxic than we ever have before in history since we've been created. So people are just have so many external influences on their health now that even if you're really healthy, sometimes it's hard to avoid.

Being exposed to these types of things, especially pesticides. One big thing that I've learned since studying about pesticides and the role they play is the first thing that they do is they attack the reproductive system of animals and human beings. So think about it. I mean, most everything we put in our bodies now has some sort of pesticides on it. So there's fertility is going down, libido and sexual desire is diminishing. This plays a big role in it. But you know what? Also stress.

Stress. Huge killer, huge killer of libido, especially for men. I say like when men don't have a job or they're feeling insecure about work, they don't want to have sex.

Exactly, exactly.

And women, of course, but women too.

And women are working now and taking care of the family and there's so much stress involved and we're on the go constantly. And with.

All of these external factors playing a role, I mean, it's only a matter of time before even younger and younger people I'm seeing coming to me, telling me about diminished libido and problems that they're experiencing.

Wow, really? Because, yeah, usually it starts to happen also when you get older. But you know, you're thinking like of an 18 year old, you know, man and woman, just their hormones are going crazy. But, but yeah, there's all these, there's all these factors. So what do you think are, what about, what are the biggest challenges and fears about sex, you think with people, like, what do you think are.

Like, what do you do? What do you, what would you tell people to do when their partner wants more sex or less sex than they do? What do you, what do you tell people, like when they have a mismatched libido?

Well, you know, the first thing I tell them, you know, and because we do, I do have product Hot Rocks, which is spelled H O T R A W K S. And it is a supplement. It is an herbal supplement that helps men and women both. But I don't like to just tell people to take a supplement.

Right.

Because there is a lot more involved in that. My company, Raw Nation, we promote lifestyle changes. And I think I mentioned to you before the importance of having a program in your life that captures everything, not just a magic pill, you know, so cleaning up your diet. I tell people to make sure they're getting enough exercise, you know, four to five days a week at least. Doesn't have to be. They don't have to be training for a marathon. But as long as they break a sweat, does that also help alleviate some of the stress?

Right, for sure. Yeah.

So I tell people. And an organic diet is very important too. I mean, trying to clean up those pesticides. And a lot of people's hormones are way out of whack. So taking something like Hot Rocks can really help balance the testosterone and the hormone levels back naturally within the body and while not adding anything harmful or synthetic.

Right. I mean, it's all organic, right?

Exactly.

I mean, there's like no downside to this. Right? I mean, there's no, it's. It increases your, you know, overall Vitality. And you were saying it can be kind of replace antidepressant or it helps people who like, are feeling depression. Right. Not only sexual performance.

Exactly. The beauty of hot rocks is it's safe for everyone because it is completely all natural. And it's the only certified organic libido herbal enhancement product on the market. So there is nothing else like it right now. I mean, there are lots of enhancement pills, but this is for women too, which also makes it really.

I love that it's for men and women. They could share a bottle.

Yeah, they can share it with their partner. You know, they can go ahead and help balance out hormones together. And it's completely safe and harmless in almost anyone. I mean, obviously you always have to check with your doctor there's any crazy issues. I mean, even herbs can. You always have to watch. But for the most part, just about anyone can enjoy the benefits of hot rocks.

That's amazing. Now does it impact, does it have an effect if you're taking other medications, like a lot of people are on blood pressure medication or antidepressants, which can actually impact your libido. Can you mix this with that? Can you mix hot rocks?

Yeah, that's another. That's another great thing, is it's safe to take in conjunction with other meds. Once again, you know, if you're on an encyclopedia of medication, it never can hurt to check with your doctor first. But this doesn't have any harmful stimulants or anything that's going to have adverse reaction to other products. And there's actually some herbs in there that can help lower blood pressure, can help alleviate stress. It's got antioxidants. And so like you mentioned before, it's helpful in other areas than just libido boosting, I mean, energy and mood and overall regulator is what I call it.

I love that.

I know. We were so excited today. I think there was like a scream in our office when we got them. We were so excited to get all the samples because we're all gonna start taking them. So what are some of the stories? Can you tell us, like some. Some stories of people, of people taking hot rocks and like, how it changed and like, like how you know. Any success stories? I'm sure you have many of them.

For women, for instance. I mean, one of the main things is they cannot believe how much more lubrication they have. I mean, it's intense, intense lubrication, which is a problem a lot of times with people, helps balance the cycle. It's good for childbearing Years and menopause because it balances your hormones. So it kind of keeps everything going. It alleviates hot flashes in older women.

Wow.

And yeah, it's just, like I said, a regulator. It helps enhance mood and focus and kind of gives you that youthful energy that we all crave. I mean, you know, you get older and you're stressed and you're taking energy pills or energy drinks and you have that crash. You don't get that with hot rocks. It's kind of a sustained, useful energy. And with men, they're experiencing, you know, stronger erection, increased sexual fluids, helps with circulation, blood flow, it increases stamina.

Wow.

It's like everything without all those side effects, those nasty headaches and flushed face and all that stuff. You're not gonna get that without rock.

I know. I love this. It's like the natural. It's like, it's like an alternative everything. It's crazy everything.

Do you ever watch the television show, the Doctors?

I do. Everyone tells me I need to contact them.

You should.

Yeah. I was actually just before the show today. I was watching a segment. They were breaking down all the crazy stuff that's in food and then how it affects. How it affects your body.

What were they saying? What food?

They were just breaking down meat and like all this crazy different stuff. And just by coincidence, earlier that morning, my assistant put on my blog, like 10 different things.

That are in your food that you don't know. That's just insane. Like they were like bleaching meat.

Yeah, it was crazy. Oh, my God. Absolutely. Yeah, they do. I mean, your food, what you eat, can totally impact your diet. And we're not saying everyone's changed their diet, but if you, you add a daily supplement like this and a lot of people talk about, they go to the store, they buy a vitamin, but this one seems like it's kind of like a one stop shop with hot rocks. Yeah.

And the thing too, just like you mentioned, that they were saying on the doctors, okay, the word natural, that I've been in this industry for about four and a half years now. I'm learning so much. But one thing that I've learned about the FDA is they do not mandate the word natural. It's not regulated. So you can slap the word natural on anything. So so many people are getting falsely marketed to because these products that are laced with harmful chemicals, and I'm talking about herbal supplements and vitamins that are supposedly quote unquote natural have substances in them like magnesium, Ferrari and gelatin. A lot of people are vegetarians. They can't consume gelatin. Our product is all vegan. So there's a lot of these little things that you might not know unless you really dig into the label or know the industry. And the word organic is regulated. So if you have organic on the front of the label, that's the little rule. If the word organic is on the front of the label, that product has been inspected and is completely free of the pesticides, herbicides, chemicals, larvicides, fungicides, all of that stuff. And there's what I was telling you earlier about the effect it can have on the reproductive system. I mean there's libido enhancement products that have, you know, good herbs in them, but they're sprayed with pesticides. I felt like it was kind of a double sided sort there. I'm like, why? You know, people, people are going to get something that they think is good for their libido and it's got all kinds of chemicals in it that can actually diminish libido. So it didn't make sense to me. Which is why we came up with hot rocks in the first place.

Okay, and where can people get hot rocks? Can you get it in the store or they can get on your website?

We do have some select retail stores and there's a list of them on the website, but they can also order online. And our website's really easy. It's hotrocks.com but it is spelled a little bit unique. It's H O T R a w k s. Okay. And they can call 855- RAW-LIFE. That's also our toll free number. They can call and order as well. So either way. And they can read a little bit more about it. There's a video on there me talking about the benefits of it. And one thing I want to tell you, the last time I spoke to you, I didn't give you. But I give you this really exciting news.

Oh, tell me, tell me, tell me.

Well, are you familiar with the Museum of Sex in New York City?

Absolutely. I did my book launch there a few months ago. Yeah.

Okay then. I knew you would know about it, but we just got back from New York and they, they're going to be selling hot rocks there.

That's amazing.

Yeah, so they're going to feature it there. They felt it was very innovative and unique product and so they're going to have it there at the museum. So we're really excited about that too.

Okay, that, that is huge then. And because that's Museum of Sex, they're like the place to go to for all sex information. So congratulations. And I'm taking them too. I'm starting like right when we hang up to take it. I have the pill here. I'm showing it to our video camera here. You can all check out hot rocks and we'll have it on our website as well. All the information.

I want a follow up from you. I want you to tell me how great it makes you feel.

Both.

I am working. All taking it. We're all going to take it. Okay, awesome. Julie, thank you so much for calling in.

Thank you too. Thanks for having me.

Great to talk to you. Okay, you too. Bye. Bye. I was like blown away with this because there's so many libido enhancers out there that everyone's talking about it. But this one's like organic and natural and it helps with mood and focus. Hello? Yeah, so I'm going to take some. So. Yeah, that's awesome.

I need to see if ejaculoid is all natural.

Oh my God. Whatever. What was that again there?

I guess they were like selling it in the cash row one time and one of my co workers saw, saw it. And it's supposed to like increase your load.

I doubt that it's natural, honey.

And he, he ended up buying it.

And did you ever find out what happened? He had bigger load.

Yeah. Increase his load. Ejaculoid. But I don't know anything about it.

He used to always joke about that. I don't know anything about it. And the fact that I've never looked into it. But sex is awesome. Yeah. Okay, so listen, here's some more about libido. So for. For a men's libido, losing interest in sex may not be as common occurrence for men as it is for women, but it affects close to 20% of men and at least double that of many women. So 40% of men, 20% of women. But the problem is when men lose interest in sex, it scares them more than women. So that's kind of what I was saying to Julie just now from Hot Rocks is their masculinity is so linked to their sexuality that it's very threatening. So I always feel like when men lose their jobs or they're not making enough money anymore that they directly affects them. They don't feel like they're a man. They feel like they have no penis left and they lost their penis and they don't want to have sex. So that's why it's so severe when it happens with both men and women. So it makes men more unhappy. In the rest of their lives. And only 23% of men said they still feel happy about Life. In general, 46% of women who have low libido, they still feel happy about life. So women are like, eh, I don't want to bang, but you know what? I'm still happy. Men don't want to bang and they feel like their dick's been cut off.

Yeah.

So it's over, right? Exactly. So a lot of it has to do with, for men, poor eating habits. And like we said, testosterone levels can decline if you have, like, an illness. So that's why, you know, like, we're talking about this vitamin here. It could be awesome. I'll let you know. I'm gonna report back. They say in two weeks, I'm gonna feel different. I'm gonna be humping everything that moves.

Maybe.

I don't know. You never know. Okay, so Menace is excited. We'll give you. We got a few bottles if you'll take it. If you promise you'll take it, I'll give you one.

It's all natural. I don't see.

It's organic.

Yeah.

And they're selling at the Museum of Sex where they sell my book. I wrote a book called hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. They sell at the Museum of Sex. Okay.

You'll probably give it to me in a couple months. That's fine.

No, just because I brought you condoms today, a month, couple months later, doesn't mean that you should be so mean to me.

I'm not being mean to you. But you were like, wanted me to be all excited, and I was like, oh, finally, I got them.

I'm not giving them to you.

Thank you. I appreciate them. Fine, whatever.

I appreciate him that much.

You look beautiful today, by the way.

I do?

You're just saying that.

What? I love how your head tilted once I said that and you smiled.

I'm like, does he mean it? He doesn't really mean it. Damn. You can watch the show. Do I look beautiful today? Probably not.

Go to sexwithemily.com.

Go to sex with Emily. Check out the show. Okay, but here's some tips if you are. Okay, well, first thing is, for women's libido, we were talking about what affects a man's libido. So some things that affect the women's libido is. Is pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, and painful intercourse. So those are all things where your libido can be affected. But there are some tips if you don't want to take a Pill or a vitamin or anything like that. You need to communicate about each other's needs. If you're having mismatched libidos in relationships, you need to communicate about what is going on. So don't ignore it just because you've been sex in six months. Like, I know so many couples who are like, yeah, we haven't had sex in, I don't know, five, six months and they've never talked about it. It just become that elephant in the room. So you need to communicate about it. You need to find other avenues for spending time together. So go on interesting dates. Maybe revisit the first date and find activities that you both enjoy. They say that that can infuse serotonin into the relationship because you're doing something new and exciting.

I want to go fly kites.

Yeah, exactly. That might turn it out. That might do it for you. Try something new and unexpected in the bedroom. If you'd always do missionary, maybe have her on top. Just little tiny little things you can do. If your partner is a low libido, try to give them oral sex spontaneously. This goes for men and women, guaranteed.

That would get me excited.

That would spike you up. You walk in the room and she attacks you, whips down your drawers and.

Gives me a blowjob.

Gives you a blowjob.

I don't know what guy wouldn't like that.

I think most guys would.

Yeah.

I mean, men don't need the warm up as much as women, right? But if a man surprised me and he wanted to have oral sex with me, I'd be game. I'd be like, I'm ready to go. Sign me up.

I know.

If you have kids, make sure the bedroom is a place for the two of you. Take the kids and the TV out of the bedroom. I think the TV in the bedroom is a libido killer.

Yeah.

No TV in the bedroom. Seriously, I think that's a huge thing you can do. I know.

TV is so awesome.

Not in the bedroom.

It entertains me way more than ever.

So sad.

There's so many options. I got one woman and then my television, which has over like 400 options and ways to entertain me.

Really? You see menace. This is why you get it goes.

Back to you wanting all the attention.

Women or me? You.

That's why you're anti tv, but you're never really.

I've never been in tv. That's why I've been talking about TV so much lately. I'm sorry if it's like people are not in tv, but I Never watch TV forever. And I just.

Now you're so excited about it. But I like it in the room. The. Yeah, it gives you stuff to talk about or like, oh, my God, Bethany is so awesome.

Yeah. But people are like, let's watch tv. They have their shows every night of the week and they're like, get into their shows and then they forget. They fall asleep and they don't wake up.

You watch the shows and then after the shows you have sex and then you go to sleep.

No. Take the TV out of the bedroom. Bring back date night. Even if that means getting Chinese takeout. Have a date night. Couples need date night. It's not frivolous advice. It is a real thing that I have a lot of married friends with kids and they always have date night. Get a set babysitter. Have a friend come over and watch. I always watch my friend's kids for date night because I'm a good person like that and I want them to have sex. So I'm like, okay, I will watch your child. If you mix up your routine, it can help your mix match libido. So you can also try something, like I said, hot rocks. Their website is hotrox.com R A W K S. You can find this all@sexwithemily.com. so that's what we got for you today.

If you type in hot cox for some reason.

No, don't do that. Don't do that. Please, please, please. But I want to try. Listen, and these are some foods they say that can enhance your libido. Just real quick. Bananas, avocados, almonds, celery, garlic, liver, and chocolate.

Oh, yeah, but I actually. They said that on the. On the doctor show today. But you gotta look for the one that has the highest cocoa in it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dark chocolate.

The super dark chocolate. But it doesn't taste as good as.

I know, I know it's a bummer. But I've gotten into dark. I've actually, it's. It's all about. It's all about training your palate. Like, I was only a milk chocolate girl, but I've gotten into dark chocolate lately and Whole Foods has this like, amazing dark. I. The Whole Foods next to my house, and I go there every day and buy this chocolate bar and I just devour it and I just want to bang, bone bang everything.

Yeah, it's. It's funny because I used to date somebody and she's like, oh, yeah, can you give me a chocolate bar? But can you check the.

It was like the Cocoa, Right?

Percentage is like. Like, she's like, I only want to have one that's like 90.

Yeah.

And like, I would find one that was like 70%.

She was like.

Wasn't good enough. Yeah, you gotta get the 90. And then I dumped that bitch because it made life a lot easier.

Dump that bitch. You will eat my 70 cocoa. You're gonna get the hell out.

20% difference. God damn it.

I know. But that's what matters. I'm gonna get super healthy. I'm already cut out gluten, not drinking.

Are you surprised? I ate pineapple today. I usually have a burrito.

You just had pineapple for lunch.

I just had pineapple. That's all I ate because I love pineapple.

I love pineapple, too. It's my favorite food. Fruit for sure. And so that's what we got for you today.

Cool.

Yeah. Thanks, everyone.

I enjoyed it. Our phones are working.

I know. We had phone issues for a while.

Like a long time.

I know.

And then it finally got fixed. They replaced a bunch of wires in here.

I love that they fixed it. We're going to have a lot more interesting guests calling in. And, you know, you can always leave us a message at 415-992-7392. Ask us a question, we might just answer it on the air. We'll play your message and answer on the air. So do that. Find me. Find us again on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Sex with Emily. Email us feedbackily. Find Menace. White Menace.

Yeah, go to whitemanace.com because there's a bunch of food stuff on there today. Just. Just by. Just randomly.

Oh, my God.

I didn't write it. My.

The universe is, like looking out for us.

My assistant wrote it. She told me, like, there's some stuff on there I probably wouldn't want to read because it's food that I consume.

Yeah.

So I haven't read it.

Everything that we read about libido killers. You do? Yeah.

Do all of them.

I think you.

I think the anti alcohol one, it only increases my libido.

No. For five minutes and then it.

Why not? Because long term, I am on my phone for the rest of the night.

Long term versus short term. What'd you say? You're on your phone after.

Yeah, it's definitely increasing my libido.

No, it's not. Alcohol, drugs, tobacco, it all really kills your libido. I'm sorry, people, but all the good stuff in the world kills your libido. Yeah, it's a bummer. I'm sorry to bring it down.

That's why all the church people are super horny, because they're not doing anything else.

Oh, you're right.

That might be it. And I'm not drinking that much lately. And I have no gluten. Gluten free.

That's still pretty wacky to me. But that.

I don't know. I feel good. I feel really good. Okay everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexthemily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart.

And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver.

All of its benefits.

That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger, and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being.

Which absolutely supports a healthier sex life.

Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age.

Well.

Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.comsexwithemily for 50% off. And here's a bonus Use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A l I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.