7 Dec 2025 · 61 min
Emily Morse and Menace cover the rules of ejaculation: get explicit consent first, remove and dispose of condoms properly, ask before finishing on someone's face or in their mouth, and clean up after yourself. Don't assume your partner is on birth control.
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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.
Eyes that mock sacred institutions.
Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.
Do women know about shrinkage?
Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry?
It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.
But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, going to sexwithemily.com where you will get all your sex questions answered. And if you listen to the show, you will have a better sex life. That's all I'm saying.
And naked photos of you, right? There's a lot of naked photos. You gotta look really, really hard at sex with emily.com. you might have to squint a little Bit Right. Maybe it was a nip slip.
There might be some cleavage. No nip slip. But do you know the show that you're listening to? I say that. Oh, sorry, yes, there's many a nip slip.
And videos.
And videos. Yeah. Sex with me. Do you know that the show you're listening to now you can also watch@sexhelmy. If you. We do three shows a week. If you want to become a Friends with Benefits member, all you have to do is sign up on our website. It's like nothing. It's 4.95amonth and you will have a better sex life. So I think it's like worth the 22 cents a day.
It's like your daily sex newspaper. There's something there every day. You guys write blogs, you do recaps of the show, right? Share articles and things like that.
Naked photos of menace. So yeah, it's awesome everyone. Thanks for listening. It's Friday. Happy Friday. This is our free Friday show that everyone can listen to and we're excited to be on SiriusXM Extreme Talk165.
Love Extreme Talks165.
Love it.
Masturbate to it daily.
Do you? That's hot. Today's show we're gonna be talking about a lot. We've got like a jam packed show.
Really?
Yeah. But one of our topics today is jackulation etiquette where you should drop.
Oh, you went with that topic we were talking yesterday. I'm really big because I finally got a MacBook Pro after all these years. I was, I was rocking a MacBook for like six years. So upset about that. But now I'm really into the video chat with you and I, I know it's so fun on the G chat and you're telling me you're running down through all the topics you go through and so you decided on the ejaculation.
Ejaculation etiquette, yeah. And I.
Because you have experience with this. Correct?
With ejaculation etiquette. It's true. Don't come in certain places. We're gonna tell you where and when and how and what to do. We also have an expert today calling in Carol Caroza from Lifestyle Condoms has got some condom tips. So we're gonna be talking to her shortly and we've got just a lot of big rundown of things we're just gonna get into. We got your emails. If you email me feedbackexwithemily.com I answer your emails. If you're a friends with benef, your emails go Straight to the top. Because we've got thousands of emails and we can only answer. We can't answer all of them, but if you become our special member, we'll take care of you.
I have. I have a confession.
Oh, my God, I'm so excited. What?
You know all those condoms you gave me?
Uh, oh, yeah.
Well, my buddy stopped by my office yesterday and he was leaving for south by Southwest and he saw the package of condoms and.
He asked if he can have some.
All of them.
He took all of them.
He took all of them.
He's going to be in south by south and he's got to be on.
The show and report back. Those are our golden lifestyle condoms. He's got to call back. And I'm sure.
I'm sure he will.
Do you think he's going to get banged? Is he. Is he just wishful?
I've seen him. I've seen him, like, hook up with, like, famous people.
Okay.
Like who he gets around, like, people that are been in gigantic movies.
Okay.
Yeah. So he.
Why aren't. Why haven't I hooked up with him yet?
I don't know.
Do I know?
I think you met him before. Yeah.
And I didn't hug up with him. That's so odd.
I know.
Especially if he's, you know, hot and cool.
He's banging famous people.
I can't believe you complained about not getting those condoms for months and then. I know, but this is the last time I'm giving you anything.
I was disappointed that you didn't give them to me in a time.
Whatever. I'm busy, okay? I'm really busy.
But I should be your number one priority.
You are my number one priority. And I gave you a bunch of condoms hoping you'd get laid and then have stories that share on the show.
Three months later after I asked for who cares?
A condom is a condom is a condom. So anyway, if you ever want to know about condoms, today we are telling you more about the good condoms and the bad condoms and all that stuff.
Tell me about yourself.
I'm doing. My life is going really, really well. I have to say that I'm in a good place. I'm dating someone that I like, which is such a bizarre experience. I actually have no complaints. Which was more interesting when I had complaints about people. And I'm sure they'll happen, but things are great. They're humming along. I like them. Things are good.
I'm afraid, like, you're gonna do self sabotage.
Yeah, I could. I've sabotaged before and. But we even talk about the fact that we're both sabotagers. We're similar, and we've both done things that have ended relationships prematurely when we didn't want them to because we were a little bit commitment phobe. So we communicate a lot. Because I always say communication is a lubrication relationship. So we communicate a lot, and we lubricate a lot.
Lot of lubrication.
Lot of lubrication. I love lube. I'm telling you people, I'm such a fan of lube that I. My goal in life is to have lube on every nightstand in America. Because you don't only need lube if you're. When people think, oh, she's dry, it's like, it helps. It, like, rubs the clitoris. It feels really good. And you should use lube. That's what I'm saying for you. Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com here's the thing about Adam and Eve. You will love them because they've got thousands and thousands of items on their website. And with coupon code Emily, you get 50% off most items, free shipping and a free mystery gift. And the Kim Kardashian sex dvd.
What?
So go buy a sex toy or porn or lingerie for your girlfriend, whatever the hell you want. Go to AdamandEve.com, we appreciate it. And also yesterday was International Women's Day, and we gave away something from Wet Naturals, Beautifully bare. We gave away some lube. And you gotta check out. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Sex with Emily. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily. And you can win prizes and stuff like that. Super fun.
Lot of prizes. I saw somebody tweet that they won the book from you.
Yeah, they want. I have a book called Hot Sex. You can buy it on Amazon. It's selling really well. It's hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. And it's funny because I was on your friend Mattie's show a few weeks ago, and he was talking to. His first question to me was, Emily, I've been with my wife for how long they been together? 10 years or something?
Yeah, they've been together for a while.
And he's like, I kind of want to spice things up. And she's like, well, what do you want to do? And he's like, I came up blank. And so I was like, I went down to my car and I'm like, read my book. Because it's not weird, crazy things that you can't do when you got to go out and buy a bunch of gear, it's like really simple things you can do to improve your sex life. Every night, 200 things.
Yeah, that's good. And you can pick it up where?
Amazon.
Amazon.
Or you can find out more info@sexhelmy.com.
Sexhealth you're so good. And then you gotta give out the info.
I know. Well, here's one more info. Well, is our kaggle camp video came out really well. I have an app in the itunes store that's selling like crazy called kegel camp. And they're exercises for men and women to do. You exercise your PC muscles at, you know, three to five minutes a day. And for men you'll last longer, you'll be stronger, last longer, more stamina. And for women, you'll have longer, stronger orgasms.
And Emily, what are PC muscles?
PC muscles are those muscles that youthey're those pee stopping muscles. So you know when you're taking a piss. I don't know, I feel like.
Well, you said piss.
I know I don't usually speak like that, but when you go into the bathroom. No, we're not FCC regulated. I love it. You can say piss all, but when you're urinating and you want to stop the flow of urine, you stop it and then you can start it again. Those are the PC muscles that you target in my kaggle camp app that you can buy in the itunes store. And it's my voice gently walking you through the exercises. I say, tense, relax. Tense, relax. And a little reminder pops up every day that says time for kaggle camp. And it's really fun. And the amazing thing is I've gotten hundreds of emails from people that are like, it's changed my life. So that's why you do stuff. That's why you do stuff in the world because you want to help people's sex life. That's why I'm doing my. That's why I live my life is so everyone has better sex. Yeah, that's my purpose of being. So we have a new poll on the website. What's the first thing that you notice about a person?
Their personality.
Eyes, breasts, butt, stomach or mouth.
Always start with the face and then you go down.
So what do you think? Eyes?
No, I don't like, look deep into their eyes.
Why? But don't you see somebody when you meet someone and you're like, oh gosh, she's got beautiful eyes.
Never thought that ever in my life.
You've never looked menace. What planet are you on that. You've never looked at a woman and said, she has beautiful eyes?
I just don't do that.
Okay, so let's move to mouth. Do you notice her mouth?
Yes, I notice her mouth more than eyes. I look at the teeth more than the eyes.
You're making me make sure my teeth have nothing in them right now.
No lipstick on the teeth, which. I've seen you in that situation a couple times before, but I've helped you out and I've told you, like, hey.
You have told me it's hard being a woman. You have to do that. Yeah. But we have a special trick. When you put lipstick on you, then suck on your finger. I just. Then the camera, and then it takes away. Then you don't get lipstick on your teeth. But if I do have lipstick, I hope you let me know. That's annoying. You can't talk to a woman when she's got lipstick off her teeth. It's not attractive.
Lipstick's on the teeth. But what about if you're on the first date and she's rocking the lipstick on the teeth?
Oh, my God. Does that happen? Yeah. I think that you do tell her. I think that you have to just be like, oh, babe, you got a little something. Not babe, because it's your first date, but be like, you got a little something. You got a little something. Isn't that what you do?
That's a little rough.
Has that happened to you?
Yeah. Yeah, you got. Hey, you got a little thing. But I actually wait a little while to see if it goes away.
Right, because you're hoping it will. Right?
Yeah.
That's the same thing with something hanging from someone's nose. You're like, I hope he wipes his nose. I hope he wipes his nose.
Yeah. And just the.
It just turns you off.
Snot, rocking.
I know. I lose my boner if you've got that. I seriously do. It's hilarious.
Speaking about boners, yesterday.
Yes.
Oh, my God. I met one of the most beautiful women out there. She's a singer. Her name's Lana Del Rey. And I'm still on the fence on how I feel about her music. Like, I've been. I've grown to really like it, but when I first heard it, I was like, ah, this is. This is awful. But her as a. Her as a person, she was just amazing.
Really.
She's one of the kindest people I've met in a really long time.
That's amazing. I know. My interns were all like, I want to come meet Her?
Yeah. I didn't know because usually I meet a lot of music musician people or like actors and actresses and the people around them, like, you know, like your interns.
Right.
They could be, they're like, oh, you know, don't look her straight in the eye and all this stuff. So you never know before you meet them how, how they were. And then all these requirements I was getting just before I met her, I'm like, oh, man, she's gonna be the most stuff. High maintenance biatch I've ever met. Ends up being the nicest person I've ever met.
Oh.
So if you, if you guys want to see a pretty lady, Google Lana Del Rey.
Okay. Take pictures. Did you put it?
Yeah, I have them on my Instagram, all that stuff.
White Menace. You can find White Menace on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Tumblr.
Tumblr, everything find White Menace. White Menace. And it's M E N A C E because everyone thinks you're menace. M E N N I s why few people email me and say menace.
No one does that.
They do.
They do it to me. I swear to God. So what are you gonna do this weekend that's exciting and new?
Exciting and new this weekend I might go to a bar that I have not been to ever in the city.
In San Francisco.
In the city of Marc.
Where in San Francisco?
Yeah, my buddy works there and they do live shows all the time.
Oh, that's cool.
It's the second oldest bar.
What's it called?
It's called Hotel Utah.
Oh, yeah, I've been there a bunch.
Yeah, it's the second.
I mean it's not in a long time.
Yeah. Did you know it's the second oldest bar in San Francisco?
Did not know. It has that look like Gold coast kind of sign.
Yeah. And probably gonna do that. And you know what they have here?
What?
I think you actually been to this place. What, the Walt Disney?
I went there on a date last year. The Walt Disney Museum.
She's in me right now. So there's a Walt Dis museum in San Francisco that the family put together and I never been to it, but you know me, I'm always at Disneyland all the time.
Yeah, Getting arrested. Don't get arrested at the museum. Yeah, Menace got arrested last time he went to Disneyland.
Yeah. Let's talk about that date though. I thought it was the dumbest idea ever to go on a date.
That was hilarious. Well, I was going on a blind date last summer with this guy and he called me. He was coming up from La. And we were being fixed up by a friend. And he leaves me a voicemail. Cause he said I'd call you. And we were emailing. He says, I'll call you, leave you a message about the plans. He said, okay, there's this exhibit at the Walt Disney Museum. I'd love to meet you there. And oh, by the way, my mom's in town. She's coming too. Click, beep. And I sat there for a moment and I thought, okay, this could be really awkward. I've never met the guy and now his mom's gonna be judging me. But then I thought, what a great story that will be for the show. So I live my life. I'm like, you know what? Bring the mom along. Because they always say how a guy treats his mom is how he's gonna treat you. So guys, attention to how you treat your mom. And always be nice to her, even if she was a raging bitch when you were growing up. Cause women judge you on that. So anyway, his mom was a sweet lady. I never saw him again. It wasn't a great date.
That is just so awkward.
It's awkward. I'm like, couldn't you meet your mom after for coffee or something? Why you gotta bring the mom?
If I knew that you were like an extreme Disney fan, I'd go, okay, this is a great date, right? But I've never heard you say.
You never hear me talk about Mickey Mouse.
God, I love Walt Disney and Disney and all this stuff. Never heard that out of you ever.
Right?
So I just think it's kind of awkward one to take you to the Walt Disney Museum. But hey, you know what? It might be kind of cool. Kind of, right? Kind of interesting.
I thought so.
And then. But put on the first date, put on top of that, meeting the mother. That is just so.
It was really bizarre. I know, but I just thought, you know what, I could just bail on this. But why not? It'll be funny, it'll be great story, and it'll be interesting to learn.
It seems very psycho. She's in the rocking chair.
Ish type of thing. I agree, I agree. But it ended up being. I mean, I'd never been to the Walt Disney Museum, so I'm always up for trying new experiences. No, I'm not a Walt Disney fanatic. I don't have my Mickey Mouse doll anymore that I used to when I was younger. I used to love Mickey Mouse, but, you know, it was fine day.
What kind of conversations were going on?
Oh, she asked me the first thing she asked Me was how old I was, and if I want children, that was really fun. Which. You never want a guy to ask you that on the first date. Please don't ever ask any woman that. And so, you know, I'm not gonna be like, oh, you know, I was just annoying. And then she. And then we got the whole kids conversation. I was just like, oh, well, I've been thinking about kids. I'm not sure I'm thinking about not having kids now. I mean, I think you're about. You know, I consider it from time to time. I don't really remember what my.
Did you end up talking to her more than you?
I did. I ended up talking to her more than him because that's what you do. You're like, oh, the mom. The old mom came up from somewhere to visit Texas or wherever. So that was an awkward date. And I never saw him again. But he's been trying to get together ever since. It's been like a year. And I've been like. Well, I don't know, like.
Hey, dude.
Hey. You bringing your uncle?
Yeah. Who do I have to meet next?
Exactly. Who's coming next? Your second cousin, twice removed. That'll be really fun one. I can't wait to go on that date. So you're going to a bar this weekend and I am.
To Walt Disney.
To Walt Disney. And Walt Disney. I love that. So I also. Yeah, I'm just gonna hang out with friends. Hopefully it'll be beautiful. We are so lucky. But everyone's having this weather right now. New York, it's like 70 degrees.
I have everybody that I follow on Instagram around the world.
Yep.
They're all, like, posting photos of all the awesome weather that they're having. It's awesome weather even in Ohio and Michigan.
Yeah. My hometown. I love it. I love it. I hope everyone goes out and has a great weekend. So yesterday was International Women's Day. There's a lot of people writing and talking about it. And so there's this study that came out. I think I tweeted this the other day, which I think you might have seen. It says, we're number what? Where Americans rank in the world. So, okay, it's our country ranking. And the two things of most note is that America ranks first in Miss America Universe. Miss Universe wins. So out of every country we ranked first, we've had more Miss America wins. However race, we come up 31st in math scores. We are not that bright, but we're really hot and second in vibrator ownership. So we're hot.
What's going on?
We're sex crazed, but we're not too bright when it comes to that.
Number one Europe for the vibrator.
Do you know number one for Europe was Taiwan?
Taiwan. Taiwanese chicks, well, they make it there.
They make them all there. They're like, why not? Yeah. So that was Taiwan. And then Taiwan was also first for math. So that's a really interesting juxtaposition. Yes. They were first in math and vibrator use. When do they have time to do their homework?
I don't know. I was actually offered an all expense paid trip to Taiwan.
Why didn't you go?
I don't. I have no desire to leave the country. I only want to go to, like. The only place I want to go to is Japan. Tokyo, Japan. Because it has everything I want. Has Japanese girls.
I know you got to go to Japan. You'd love it.
Technology and fashion. It has everything I want. That's it.
That's really good.
I'll go to Hawaii. That's about it. That's as far as.
Have you been to, like, Mexico?
I took a cruise to Mexico. I didn't get off the boat because I was afraid. Oh, that's right.
You're afraid you're gonna get robbed or something.
No, not that I was gonna get robbed, but just. You know me when it comes to drinking. Once it hits my lips, it's just so good. And the next thing I know, I'm in the Mexican prison. I just know myself and I'm just like, you know what? It's safer for me to stay on the boat.
Life is all about getting to know who you are and what your challenges are and what you can take and what you can't take. I should not get off the boat. Do not get off the boat.
I know I can get extremely wasted at Disneyland and get escorted out, but I'm not gonna end up in a Mexican prison, you know?
Right.
So that's why I just know my places. I love New York, Chicago. These are the places I love to visit. I actually want to visit. I found out my great grandparents are from Springfield, Missouri.
Really?
Just found this out last week.
Oh.
So I actually want to go back to Missouri because I have a lot of friends out there. And anybody that's ever going to St. Louis, Missouri, go to a place called Hot Shots. There's a burger named after me.
Oh, that's amazing. I remember that burger being named after you. And you didn't even know that you had roots there. I had no idea you got Midwestern roots. Yeah, I would see. I would see that. New. You're kind of nice.
Yeah. But my grand. My grandfather, whose parents are from Springfield, Missouri, he was born here in San Francisco. Okay. So that's why I just never knew this. I just thought. Right. We're just locals.
Exactly. No, that's really interesting.
Yeah.
Okay. There's one more thing I gotta bring up. It's political and I've gotten a few angry emails about something that you said, but I.
What?
I say yes. You know, the whole Rush Limbaugh debate.
I don't do anything political.
You made a joke and people thought you were serious. So about what do you remember? You know, the whole Rush Limbaugh thing, that's like catching on, like wildfire.
Yeah, I don't really know too much about it.
Okay, I'll tell you about it. Cause I don't think you knew what you were saying. So what happens is, is that there was a college co ed student, Susan Fluke, she goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must get. She must get. She wants birth control to be okay. She testifies before Congress on behalf of a classmate whose birth control was not covered by her insurance plan. See, the new Obama administration's new health insurance regulations would ensure that her friend's insurance company would pay for contraception for the reason needed. Whatever. So what happened was she was testifying, saying, why isn't birth control covered? It should be covered. And Rush Limbaugh on his stupid show went off and said, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut. Right? Makes her a prostitute.
I heard before.
Yeah. And then later on, he says, she wants you paid to have sex. She's having so much sex, she can't afford contraception. She wants you and the taxpayers to have her. So anyway, he's lost all of his advertisers. People are pissed. And you were making a joke on the show. You're like, she is a whore if she wants birth control.
Yeah, I was just. I was joking.
I know, but we've got a few angry listeners who said they weren't gonna listen anymore. So I just want you to apologize because you were joking, but you didn't even really. I knew you were joking, but they didn't know you were joking.
I have.
So you are so pro birth control because you don't want to get someone pregnant?
Hell no.
Didn't you not even have sex for a while when you were younger because you were Afraid you were gonna get.
I didn't have sex Till I was 18 because I was afraid I was gonna get something pregnant.
Right, so you were making a joke. We listened to the footage and you were joking, but people don't always know that you're joking.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Okay. That you don't.
Not even joking.
Right. I got it. Cause I know you and I did say it was the stupidest thing you ever said, but saying that I.
That I. They really thought that I believed with Rush Limbaugh.
Yes, Seriously, they did. We got two angry emails, and I was like, no, we didn't mean it. Anyway, so I just thought we'd bring it up today.
That is so bizarre.
Well, maybe they're new listeners to the show and they don't get you.
Yeah, that's. That's very bizarre.
I know.
Can I tell that? But it's crazy.
I know. This crazy story that was taken off like wildfire. He's lost. So he's like the top radio, right? He's like the number one radio show in America. They say that he is.
Well, yeah. Anybody can say they're number one.
Well, I'm number one, obviously.
Yeah, you're the number one sex podcast. That's true. You can say that all day.
I am.
Start saying that right now.
Everyone can subscribe at itunes and make me number one. I'm number. I'm number eight in sex. No, I'm number three in sex podcasts.
You are the number one podcast in the hours between 1am and 2pm Pacific.
Standard Time, every day of the week.
In the West Coast. Like, people can call themselves number one.
That's true. People are like the best pizza in the world.
I haven't heard anybody talk about Rush Limbaugh since this incident.
Oh, no, it's been all. Well, I guess because I watched him.
But I'm just saying no one give.
An s. No, it's okay. But you. It's been all over the news. I've watched him. Right.
That's great. But he just does this stuff to get in the news.
I know, but he's losing his advertisers. All these stations are trying to pull him. And then Senator Carl Levin from Michigan. He's my senator. He was actually my first job out of college. I worked for him as an intern.
Yeah. Did you have sex with him?
I did not have sex with. With him. So he said, no, he's like 80, but whatever. But she said, not that I wouldn't have, but no, I'm kidding. He. That was a joke. He's trying to get Rush Limbaugh pulled from all the.
Now that.
From the, from the army, from the military radio network where he plays.
Yeah, okay.
I'm not defending Rush Limbaugh's actions, but you know what. But it's, it's kind of up to the company to let him continue.
They can decide what they want to do.
He can. He can say whatever he wants if the company.
But a lot of companies have let him stop. Had him stop broadcasting.
Yeah, but his broadcasting company. I'm talking.
Right.
If his broadcasting company wants him to continue, say these things, he can go ahead and do it. That's why we live in America. And then the people who buy advertising. We live in America, so they have the decision if they want to advertise on that show or not, and they're making the decision not to. But I want to get those vended all the time. The people want to be offended, to jump on the bandwagon to support whatever the fuck they want to say.
Right?
It's. It's, it's bullshit. I seen. I know so many radio DJs that get out of work because somebody's upset. Because someone's upset. They don't even know what that radio DJ said. But it gives them a platform to get in the media to support whatever cause they.
I know.
It pisses me off.
I think if you're angry about something, you should do something positive towards that cause rather than just keep getting angry about it. You should see, well, what can I do to make a difference?
Yeah.
Donate money towards the Obama.
People that are rattling against Rush Limbaugh are just making him bigger. They're just getting his name out there. I haven't even heard any. I work in radio. Haven't heard anything about Rush Limbaugh until this point. And then you guys are just making them bigger and bigger.
Okay, I'm sorry. We're. Stop talking about it. You know where we're going to move into now before we get into ejaculation etiquette and we talk about condoms with Carol from Lifestyles? This is something you sent me yesterday. The seven red flags. You're dating a psycho girlfriend.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, are you gonna talk about that other thing I sent you about the top colleges that are.
No, I forgot about that.
Okay, we'll just recap that.
Let's recap that.
Okay, so I don't. Sorry, I don't know the entire list, but it's the top colleges that are.
Top 10 colleges, right?
Yeah, that are DTF means down to fuck, right?
Right.
And your alma mater was number eight.
University of Michigan was number eight. But I have to say, believe it or not, I was kind of a prude in college. I had a boyfriend. Every year, I slept with one guy. Like, I never. I was not. I was not DTF in college.
Yeah, but you were DT. You're.
I was DTFing my boyfriends. Yeah, I had, like, one every year. A boyfriend.
So just DTF doesn't mean you're promiscuous.
Who isn't DTF in college?
I don't know. Squares.
I don't know. But that's funny that they measured it. I can't remember what the number one school was. It was. I think it was Austin. Austin. Oh, it was Austin. And then Arizona State, of course, was on there. University Arizona. Yeah, that was a good one. But this one, I want to see if people agree with this. Okay? So there's. I don't even like using these terms, but seven red flags. You're dating a psycho girlfriend. Where'd you get this from? This is from Menace's website.
Yeah, it's one of my co workers.
Okay.
Posted it.
Number seven, she's jealous of your celebrity crush. Like, literally jealous. Like, Jessica Alba comes on TV and she's like, oh, my God, turn it off.
I know so many girls that are jealous of my celebrity crushes.
Who's your celebrity crushes again?
Zoe Desiccia.
Zoey Deschanel. I knew that.
Love Zooey Deschanel. I wish for her to marry me.
Maybe she will. Didn't she just get divorced?
She did. Honey, if Zooey Deschanel said, I want to get married right now, I would do it and see how it goes. Okay. I would honestly marry her, but I don't know her true personality. No, she could be a show uber biatch.
I don't know. Yeah, you just like her hipsturness.
Yeah. And her quirky singing and stuff like that. I've been to a couple of her shows.
Right. Okay, number six, she hates the fact that you have guys nights. Okay. This is how I feel about that. I think that women who are not open to men going out with their friends, that is. And again, I hate the word psycho. I don't think this is seven red flags. You're dating a psycho girlfriend. But dating a girlfriend with some question marks after it.
High maintenance.
Maybe high maintenance. Because guys night, just as women's girls night, is so important. You can't just be together in this little bubble for the rest of Your lives like you need to for the rest of your dating life. So you need to go out guys nights to go out and explore and do your thing with your guys and watch sports, play video games, go to strip clubs. I don't care. I'm not that girl.
I want the girls that I date to go have, I don't know, girls nights. Because girls nights get a little crazy. You can't trust a chick. You know she's drunk. Next thing you know, she falls on a penis and like, oh, my God, I was so drunk.
I was so drunk I slipped and fell in a penis.
I don't know what I was doing. I mean, I want them to go hang out during the day and go do things. That's fine. But at night, I don't trust.
Oh, you don't? So you're kind of a psycho guy. You don't want her to have girls.
I want them to go, like, have fun. I mean, look, if a girl's gonna cheat on you, they're gonna cheat on you. Whatever. I'm just saying it. There's. It's more high risk if they're going out at night with their girlfriends because their girlfriends love talking them and talking them into doing things that they normally wouldn't do.
These are the God girls that, you know. Not my girlfriend. My girlfriend. How are you and your guy?
Oh, I'm so happy for you. Yeah, but if you go have a couple cocktails on a Friday night somewhere and some guy's hitting on you, oh, girlfriend, I ain't gonna say nothing. Blah, blah, blah. And then next thing you know, you're going down on this guy, and then your girlfriend's like, oh, I won't say nothing. And then you and your girlfriends have a falling out, and then they're gonna go and tell your boyfriend.
Never happened to you.
It hasn't happened to me. But I'm just saying that's how women are.
You can't trust men are like that too.
No, only the. The guys that are the biggest vaginas in the world go around and, like, rat their friends out.
So you're. You're. You're not a proponent of girls nights. You don't want girls to go.
No, I'm saying go ahead and do it. I'm just saying you just can't trust them hoes.
Don't trust them hoes. Okay, number five, you suddenly have a lot in common. I. E. She's becoming just like you. This will inevitably, inevitably lead to extreme stalking. This is. What was this? This is saying That a woman who. Or a man. And this can apply to both sexes, because seriously, like, I've dated guys who have some of these traits. So let's just say seven red flags. You're dating someone who is questionable, who has a lot of red flags. Okay? Okay. So this is the person that you date where they meld into one. Like, you like horseback riding, she likes horseback riding. You go to the gym, she signs up for your gym membership, she. You know what I mean? That you meld into one person. And that is the death of any relationship. When you become one and you start stepping your friends, you stop doing your hobbies, you pick up all of his or her hobbies. Don't you think that's a little psycho ish?
No. If you spend so much time with each other, I don't see that.
So it has to be balanced, though. Okay, here's my problem with it. There's nothing wrong, like, beginning. I dated a guy who was really into documentary filmmaking, and I actually loved that because we watched documentaries all the time. And then I actually ended up making a documentary film that was healthy. But we still had our friends and we still had our own lives. I think this is when you become enmeshed and you don't have any other life. And, like, you have no friends. Like, never date someone who has no friends. That should be on this list. This person. If you date someone, a girl or a guy who has no good guy friends or girlfriends, that's a problem. It's a red flag too.
Yeah. The girls that just cut off all their friends and just hang out with you all the time, it's like, see.
That'S what I'm talking about. I'm talking about they cut off all their other. Other sense of normalcy, all the other things they did independently just to become part of you and, like, attach themselves to your coattails.
I need my own time.
You need your own time. That's your biggest issue, which is why you haven't found someone yet who has her own enough going on.
No, that's not it.
One of them.
Okay, you always say that, but that's not it.
Okay, Whatevs. She's obsessed with talking about her dad. What do you think about women who talk about their dad too much? This is flags. You're dating someone who might be questionable.
Honestly, I don't have any personal experience with this, so I really can't.
I don't. I don't agree with that. I mean, she loves her dad. I mean, would I be mad if a guy talked about his mom all the time. I think that was really sweet. He loves his mom.
I think actually, the only girl that I know that was like, all her battered dad is like, oh, my dad's the ish or whatever. My dad is, like, crazy strict. She ended up being a stripper, so.
Right, exactly. So. But. But if they put her there on a pedestal, I think guys can be threatened by that too, sometimes. So anyway, she says she. Number three. She says she hates other women. Having more guy than girlfriends is fine, but she'll be overly protective and fight off any woman who comes close to you. She uses the word hates. She's like, get that bitch away from me.
I hate chicks. Yeah, there's. Yeah, there's always that girl, like, oh, I like hanging out with guys only have guy friends. Yeah, like, great.
That says a lot too. What person should have girlfriends and guy friends? Same with things. That guy friend who only has girlfriends, I'm like, so you're banging all of them? You know, that's what I assume.
Yeah, well, that's what I assume too, when you only have guy friends. I'm like, you definitely hooked up with one of these guys. And I don't want them around. I want to hang out with them. Oh, hey, we have something in common. We both have the same vagina. Like, I don't know. I'm not really.
As soon as she hit the word hates, like, oh, my God, I hate that. Whatever. That's not good. Okay, then number two. I don't know about this one. She's taking diet pills. These create huge mood swings and restlessness. I don't know.
Random.
I don't know any women taking diet pills. But if she's taking some weird drugs, it might make her.
Yeah, girls that do drugs are just out of their mind.
I know. Not good.
And then they give it up. They give extreme good blowjobs, and, you know, they'll have sex with you whenever. But just dealing with the personality of a girl on drugs.
Right? Don't do it. Just say no to girls on drugs and guys on drugs. Okay, number one, her Facebook profile is suddenly all about the two of you. That's my biggest nightmare, is to date a guy and he's like, we're in a relationship, and here's all of our photos. No one needs to know or you.
Have a picture together as your main profile picture, then, hells no.
Only if I'm married.
Yeah, if you're married, that's cool. But if you're a boyfriend and girlfriend and, oh, this is my lady, blah, blah.
I think when people are married, they do that. And that's fine. They have pictures of them and their 10 kids or whatever. I have no problem with that. But otherwise, if they just all of a sudden, without your asking, they're just, like, posting photos of the two of you. That's kind of weird. Okay, we gotta call Carol. She is from. She's the VP of Global Communications for makers of Sky Condoms and Skin Condoms and Lifestyle by Lifestyles. And here's her phone number right here.
All right, we'll call her up. So you have a bunch of these condoms, right?
Yeah. And I gave you some that you gave away.
Well, I will talk to her and she'll send me some more.
We loved Lifestyles and they sent us a bunch of condoms that we're giving away to our listeners.
Oh, okay, here we go.
And so we're talking to her. She's the VP of sales for them. Skin Condom. They sent us all these condoms, which we're really enjoying personally in the office. Menace could have enjoyed them, but he was going by. And then after this, we're gonna talk about ejaculation etiquette.
He was going to south by Southwest, and that's the home of, you know, the most DTF college out there. So most likely he's gonna get married.
Okay, that's fine. Oh, I just move this. The camera. Will you move it back?
Oh, my God.
You can watch the show.
Carol speaking.
Hi, Carol, this is Emily Menis from the Sex with Emily Show.
Hi, how are you?
Great, how are you?
I'm doing well.
Thanks so much for being available to talk to us.
Sure, it's my pleasure.
It's great. So tell us about. Okay, so thank you for, by the way, for sending us all of the Lifestyle condoms. We got a bunch of different brands, the skin condoms, and we love them. We've been giving them out to our listeners. I gave some to my sidekick, Menace, but he gave it to a friend who he thought needed more because he was about to get laid a lot this weekend. So we're gonna have to give him some more. But tell me what people should know about this new skin condom line.
Well, first of all, it's. It's one of the biggest breakthroughs in condom manufacture ever. I mean, I kind of go back to. First, the Egyptians had linen, and then there was vulcanization during the war of rubber. So we got latex, and now we have polyisoprene. The condoms you see in front of you, the skin condoms are not latex at all. They're a synthetic polyisoprene. So first of all, the material is so soft and, and so kind of pliable that in blinded studies, meaning people didn't know what they were using. They used all, they used latex, they used polyurethane, which is kind of a plastic condom out there. And they used the skin condom, which is polyisoprene. And they said, we don't know what this is, but this is really, really comfortable and sensitive and feels like nothing's there.
Wow. Which is the biggest thing because men are like, I don't want to wear a condom. I'm going to feel so much on it. So that's really cool. So it's s K Y N and we've got some to give away. If people want them, they can email us feedback.
That's right. And they can also go to skincondoms.com for information about the poly supreme itself. Because if people have a latex allergy.
Exactly.
The perfect product for them.
So many people do have that allergy. So this is great that you guys invented this. And then they can also go to your website and check it out. That's cool. So what is the best, what do you think is the best way to put a condom on to avoid spoiling the mood? Do you have any tips and tricks since you're the lifestyles guru?
Well, first of all, you have to make sure. I don't know. Many people know condoms have expiration dates. So this particular product has a three year expiration date. So you want to make sure it's within the expiration date. You store it properly. Don't kind of throw it in pocketbook with little nail files and scissors and things like that in there. And the next thing is you open. When you open it up, make sure that the teat is upright so that it's not inside out. Now these are lubricated both inside and out so they're really easy to put on and really soft and comfortable.
Great. Okay. Because a lot of people, you know, they get confused about putting condoms on.
Yeah, they put it on backwards.
Menace had a problem this first time.
Oh, well. Oh yeah, my first time. I actually, without even knowing. Well, I sent my friend in to go buy condoms for me and he bought unlubricated condoms. And I did not know this until it was. I was in a dark room trying to insert my penis into a vagina and it wasn't working.
Oh, that's so sad. This is actually for menisc. I don't know if he's learned yet.
But I've learned now.
That's good. That's good.
I'm getting more comments from him.
We actually make this available in an extra lubricated version as well for people who sort of like to last longer.
Good. Now, what about pinching the tip of it? Have you ever heard that, like, you're supposed to pull the tip out?
Yeah. They say you could do that, but that really harks back to the old days when condoms didn't have a teeth.
Right.
Like a little nipple. Now, they all. Condoms do.
So.
Yeah, you should, but because that'll, you know, leave some. Some space for the loot, for the. The semen and the sperm. But quite honestly, there's. It's sort of built in.
Okay, good to know.
In your personal life, when you tell people what you do, how do you approach that? Or how long does it take before you tell somebody, oh, yeah, by the way, this is what I do.
This is what I do for a living.
Yeah.
I kind of assess the person, to be honest with you. You know, when I. But they. They prod because I say latex products, and when they ask, I say condoms. And then it starts.
Exactly. You're always the life of the party, right? That's what I get with the sex with Emily. And, like, sometimes I choose not to tell them because I'm like, I really don't feel like talking about work right now. Even though you. And then you hear every condom, every condom story, everything. It's so true. And then I was gonna ask you, what about. What do you think about all the condoms now? So how do people choose? Like, you guys set us a bunch of different kinds. So what are the other ones? There was a few more that seem kind of new and unique from the Lifestyles.
We also make in latex versions under the Lifestyles brand, we make studded products.
Right. I've used that one. That's really cool.
Yeah. And we've actually perfected the manufacturing. Don't forget, like, all of these are FDA approved. And you have to go through some really rigorous. In the marketplace. So it's not sort of easy to sort of make any kind of shape, size, or texture. But we also have a product called Threesome, which has three features. It's kind of shaped like a little bit of a. Like a bulb on the end. It has ribs on the end for her, for him, and studs all along the ship.
Wow.
So it's got three features to keep it all going.
It's a three fur. I love it.
In the skin version, we've got the extra lubricated, we've got a larger version as well.
Good.
So a non latex large. Because when we launched it, we actually had a lot of people say, I love the product, just need to have a bigger one.
You always need to have the bigger one, right?
Always need one in America. I don't know what it is exactly.
When I'm at the truck stop, I see a lot of glow in the dark condoms. I have never actually worked used one out in the field, but what do you think of those?
Well, we make flavored and colored. The glow in the dark typically are kind of like novelty.
Right. Just in case you lose your penis, you can find it.
I'm not so sure you want anything glowing down there.
Yeah, I actually one time used the mint. Oh yeah, that's pretty awesome.
Mint are very good. And we have chocolate, we have blueberry, we have mint.
Oh, you do? We didn't get any of those. I love that.
Yeah, absolutely. In fact, we're a global company and the skin brand is marketed around the world. So we've in different countries around the world we have, you know, like kiwi flavored and pineapple.
Oh, that's really cool.
Do you find any condoms, like super popular in certain areas, like of the country or around the world? They're like, wow, we really sell a lot of the. The banana boat in. In Chile or something like that.
Did you see any trends at all or.
No, I. One of the trends that we see is the extra lubricated. Either just putting another swash of lubricant on there is really popular in China.
Okay.
Large condoms typically are in United States and Australia.
Oh, where in the United States exactly are you selling the most large condoms? I'm just curious, is it Missoula, Mon?
This is for research, right?
Of course.
Well, yeah, in the Midwest we probably.
Oh, that's where I'm from. I never should have moved. I moved to California and that's where we're selling all the large size condoms.
She is a size queen.
I am not. I am so not. Well, thank you so much, Carol. This is awesome. So tell me your website again because you guys are giving away samples as well, right?
We're giving free samples away on skin contact condoms.com and also@lystemyles.com.
Okay.
You know, and. And we have a Facebook page as well, so like us. And you get a free sample there as well.
That's awesome. Madness. That's where you need to go since you gave your free ones away.
I'll go on the Facebooks.
Okay. Thank you so much, Carol. I appreciate it. Great talk to you. Have a great day. Bye. You, too. Bye. Bye. Condom expert. Yeah, that was cool right there. That was cool, right? I want to get some of the flavored ones. They sent us like, a thousand, but I want to get some of the flavored ones. I don't think we got that.
You want to chew on them like gum or something?
Yeah, exactly. In case you're, you know, hungry, you can just pop in a condom.
I didn't really recommend the mint. I don't know where to get them.
Well, but they always talk about. She didn't say they had mint, did they? Did she? You know, they always talk about how. You know the Altoid trick when you're going down on someone to have an Altoid in your mouth?
Yeah.
Didn't Monica Lewinsky do that with Bill Clinton?
Oh, I'm sure she did a lot more than that.
But that became popular through Monica Lewinsky, so I would think that. So the mint felt really good and tingly.
Yeah.
Where'd you get it from? You don't remember?
So some hoe that I was with.
Some hoe bag. Oh, my God, you're hilarious.
Some lovely, kind, upstanding woman that I was having intercourse with had one.
Okay, that sounds really nice.
People always get. When I'm being sarcastic, they get all offended.
I know. Well, you offended some of our listeners, so I just wanted to.
Hi. I'm sorry.
It's okay. Okay. I've got a little bit of sex in the news.
I'll go meditate later. And constantly.
You should meditate. Madness meditation is good for everybody.
Rather castrate myself.
Oh, my God. Okay, so I tweeted about this earlier. Civilization is bracing itself for Hulk Hogan's sex tape release. Yes. A sex tape featuring the aging wrestler is currently being shopped around major porn studios, and the Hulkster is none too pleased. His legal claims. His legal team claims the video, which shows a naked Hogan grappling with an unidentified brunette, was not filmed by his permission. But here's the best part of the story. We saw a story today that said that he can't even identify the woman in the video because he slept with so many women that he doesn't know who it is.
It's the Hulkster.
Ew.
What are you gonna do, brother, when my sex tape runs wild on you?
Is that how he sounds? I don't even know how he sounds, but he can't identify.
Is he, like, going, oh, yeah, the whole time? I mean, that's. That's what his buddy used to do. But I can just imagine.
That is so funny. But his tape is being released and. Okay, that was hilarious. That was a really good impersonation. Even though I don't know how he sounds. But I can imagine that he signs.
And wear your condoms.
Exactly. And don't let people shoot videos. Okay. Demian Bruce's daughter Scout crosses the TMI line on Twitter. Too much information.
Scout.
Scout Willis must have been aiming for her parents level of fame, or at least some level of fame with her pseudonym. Anonymous Twitter feedback. So she had a pseudonym. It wasn't her own name. A Twitter feed which made a point of broadcasting the dirtier aspects of her life. Ready?
Really?
Recent posts showed the Brown University undergraduate taking ecstasy in cocaine, dry cleaning her cum stained sheets, being scolded for her hairy bikini line at a salon and getting fingered by waiters at bars. Unfortunately for the curious among us, after word got out yesterday, the account was said the account was hers. They shut it down for a guy. Good. Her mom's in rehab. Her mom's in rehab. She's busy. She's busy getting her. Yeah. So she could release all the dirty stuff. These celebrity kids, I feel bad. I mean they just want to be famous too. I don't know why is she doing this account? You know, just to release all that stuff that's kind of gross and no one really cares about it. Although they probably do because we're talking about it right now.
Love it. Yeah, I don't. I don't know.
You don't care.
Celebrity kids. Yeah, they just. They just don't have any. They've had everything handed to them. So they, they don't have any.
They've never had to wait in line for eggs or anything in Sunday breakfast? No, they've never wait in line for concert. They get tickets to everything. Can you imagine? We've had to struggle and that makes us part of who we are.
Yeah, we're just jealous too.
I'm really jealous. I would have liked to have all those perks. Okay. And Warren Beatty's wallet closes for daughter sex change operation.
Haven't heard about this.
Me neither. So Warren Beatty and Annette Bedding, you know, they've been married for a long time and they have have a 20 year old daughter. Kathleen is hoping to undergo gender realignment surgery in the near future. But it won't. But a dime of it will not come from her father. She's a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence College. She's been living under the name Stefan for years or Stephen and is outspoken Activist for transgender rights. And they're comfortable paying her $170,000 a year tuition. They will not pay the $50,000 transformation to a male.
Yeah.
Me personally, would. I, Would I give my kid $50,000 to do a sex change?
Probably not. I probably would let them, if that's what they really want to do, save the money so they can really. Because come on, that's a really big deal.
It's a huge deal. But sometimes, you know.
Yeah, sometimes you do know when you're really young. But, you know, at least this gives you enough time to save your money. Really contemplate this is what you really, really want to do. Instead of it just being handed to you and you can just do it and then you're like, oh, man.
Exactly.
Oh, man. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.
I know. You know, turning back.
Yeah.
Once you get your penis on and your vagina gone.
Yeah. Because if you just have endless money and you can just do crazy things and to yourself.
But I can imagine would be upsetting for parents having a child who's like your little precious girl and all of a sudden she wants to be your little precious boy. But they probably need different people.
Deal. Deal with it in different ways.
Like. Like share.
Yeah. You know, it took. It took publicly. It took share a little while to come around. To come around on it.
But now it's gonna be hard. If you. Like if my dog wanted to change into it, no, I wouldn't care. Okay, we got some emails. Feedbackexwithemily.com if you want to email us anytime. We will take your emails. You can also do it right from the sex with emily.com website. And we will answer your emails and improve your sex with life because that's our job. Dear Emily, Hey, I have this problem when I hook up with random girls. I sometimes have trouble getting hard. I don't have erectile dysfunction because when I have a girlfriend, I can get hard rather easily with no problems at all. I just don't know why I can't get hard with random girls.
Just nervous.
Not even blowjobs help at times. I've stopped watching porn because I heard it can desensitize your brain and make it harder to get an erection when.
You'Re with a girl.
I've actually been thinking about having pills with me just in case this keeps happening. Any suggestions? Nothing that will get me hard for too long or have any long term side effects. Hope you email me back. Thanks, Darrell from New Brunswick, New Jersey. Okay, Darrell, here's the thing. You have no problem here. You're a nice guy and you want to be with a woman that you trust and that, you know. It sounds like when you have a girlfriend, you have zero problem. But when you're hooking up with a random hoes, you can't get hard. That's not a problem. You're just stopping yourself from doing something that's not necessary for your life at this point and your body's listening to you. That you're not comfortable or you don't feel safe with this woman. And I think it's just psychological and you'll eventually get over it and you'll be able to bang everyone. Probably. But no, I'm just saying that it's really not a problem. And I would not take the pills because the pills do have side effects.
Makes you go blind.
No, but it will make you. That's masturbation. No, that's a joke. But they can make you stay hard for too long. And people do have side effects from these pills. And the pills are for people who are a little older and can't ever get it up. But you are perfectly normally functioning when you have a girlfriend. I do not see a problem. Yeah, you don't either, right? Madison?
He just wants to go to pound town and he's just afraid to go to pound town.
He can't go to pound town with these girls because he's probably nervous and insecure. Does she really like me? Am I performing right? It's all in your brain. Why you can't get hard right now. You don't have any. You don't have any physical issues, physiological issues.
Unless you masturbated a lot that day.
Well, he stopped watching porn. But it doesn't desensit. I mean, if you watch a lot. Lots and lots and lots of porn and you're watching it 15 hours a day, sure, you can get desensitized, but if you're just, you know, one time a day watching porn, or if you.
Have to go number two, it's kind of hard to get up. Get it up. Just FYI as a guy.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, so make sure you have an enema before you have sex. Okay. That sounds awesome. It's a great plan.
I'm just throwing it out there. It's science, right?
I would think it'd be hard to have sex if you go to the bathroom.
It is.
Yeah. I probably couldn't get it up either.
No way.
And I can't even have nothing to get up.
But my friend claims that while you're erect. You cannot go number one. And you can. I've done it.
Really?
Yeah.
In the middle of sex, you probably had to.
Yeah, yeah. Or like, just before sex, you know, I'm erect. I can go number one. But my friend does not believe that. It's true. We should call him.
We should. No, we can't. We don't have time. We're going into our topic.
Okay.
Our topic is ejaculation etiquette. Where you should ejaculate where you shouldn't. When you ejaculate in a condom. If you want to ejaculate inside of her, inside of her mouth, on her face. Lots of men love the facials. We're gonna talk about all the etiquette for that.
Where not to. I don't understand.
In her purse is like, etiquette. Yeah, yeah, in her purse. So she could take it home with her and spermicide. Spermate herself.
Yeah, but you guys love it all over the place, right?
No, we don't. I'm glad you're asking. That's why we're talking about the etiquette for ejaculation. You should always ask a woman what she wants. So before you ejaculate anywhere, you should let her know that you're ejaculating and you should ask her if it's okay. I would like to ejaculate on your breath. And then you should ask her. Or you should be like, what if I would? You know what I mean? I'm gonna go through this right now. So if you ejaculate, this is the tricks for ejaculation. If you ejaculate inside of a condom after you ejaculate, you should remove the condom immediately before you lose your erection to prevent any semen from escaping and dripping all over the bed and her. Because this is a way. If you don't do this right away, the semen will drip out. You could get her pregnant.
Yeah. You can keep on going. And then the condom breaks and it's full of.
Don't keep on going. Dispose the condom properly by tying the end and place it in the garbage, not the floor or the toilet. I know that every guy throws it on the floor.
Yeah, throw it on the floor.
Don't do that. I'm talking about etiquette here. Here's an etiquette reminder about condoms. Never ask her to take the condom off you. That's your responsibility. Yeah, she can do it, but it's your responsibility because this way you can make sure all your little semens Stay in the right place and then you can tie it up and throw it away. Away. Okay. Number two, if you want to ejaculate inside of her, if you want to juggle inside of her, be sure to ask her permission first and understand the birth control situation. Is she on the pill? You know, whatever it is, you have to understand that a lot of women, a lot of guys just assume. I can't tell you. This happens all the time. And not to me in particular, but I have a lot of friends who are like, it's so weird. He just came inside me like he was assuming that I was on the pill and I wasn't. So you cannot make those assumptions. You have to first ask permission and understand the situation. Yeah.
Guys. Guys think that women at a certain age are always on the pill.
I know. And you cannot make that assumption.
Can't trust them.
Hoes can't trust it. I don't say you can't trust the hose, but you gotta have the conversation. Are you on the pill? If you are not using a condom and you're about to ejaculate, you better ask her.
Yeah. If you're especially like really not into her, just like pull out man.
Right.
It's not, it. It's not worth it.
Exactly. I mean, but try not to just do the pull out method. Try to use a condom or make sure she's on the pill and always get tested first. If you are not using a condom and she's on the pill, you should both get test because you can still get sexually transmitted disease.
I wear full body rubber suits. That's what I do.
That's smart. So you never get a girl pregnant.
I love it.
Okay. So directly inside of her. This option leaves the cleaning process mainly to her as she will usually excuse herself to go to the toilet and clean up from there. A woman should. That's what you wear?
Yeah.
That's hot. A woman should always excuse herself and go to the bathroom right after a man ejaculates inside of her. So when she gets up and goes to the bathroom, don't be pissed. I had a boyfriend once who like staying cuddle. I'm like, I gotta pee.
Yeah, that always happens. So what happens during that time?
What do you mean?
When you guys run off to the.
Bathroom, you wanna know what actually happened? Yeah, it comes out.
It comes out?
Yeah, like not always in like clunks. But it. I've never talked about this before.
I know. No, guys don't know what happens.
You want to come watch next time maybe.
Yeah.
You should ask the girl. Yeah, I'll call you next time. I'll take a picture.
No, I don't want to see that.
I'll pull my phone, take a picture of my urine stream.
No, but this, this conversation is interesting because guys don't really.
Yeah, you can feel it. It's like you pee for a little bit and then this isn't always, but then you feel it come out and it's like a different texture and it's clumpier. Really? Yeah.
That's attractive.
Well, you asked.
Do you feel classy at that time?
I feel classy right now talking about it on national radio. I do. Hi, Mom. Okay, so if the semen leaked onto the bed before she could rush to the toilet, it's your job to clean up the mess. One thing to note is that you should always keep your promise.
Yeah.
Okay.
And if you really don't trust the girl and you released it on her stomach and then she starts moving her hands around, make sure she's not moving it down to her vagina.
That's true. She could be sticking your sperm up and trying to get pregnant.
Yeah, okay. Trust them, man. I'm telling you.
Stop it. Etiquette, reminder. Don't tell her that you won't ejaculate inside her and then do it anyway. That's just a reminder. Don't say you're not gonna do it and do it. Okay. Number three. This is what Menace is really interested in, I'm sure. Ejaculating inside of her mouth.
Of course.
Before she gives you oral, you should determine whether or not she wants to swallow. If you can. It's nice to let her know when to expect your ejaculation so that she can prepare to swallow and avoid gagging.
If she really loves you, she swallows. If she doesn't.
That is not true.
If she doesn't swallow, then you just gotta.
Menace. Sometimes I just wish I could reach across and just tell you to stop talking and grab your. Close your mouth and put some tape over it. Spitting and swallowing has nothing to do with her level of love or adoration for you. Some women just don't like it. It doesn't mean that she's not cool, doesn't mean that she doesn't like you. They just don't like it. So you have to give. You have to give her an option and say, I'm about to come. I'm about to ejaculate. And then she can decide if she's going to spit or swallow. If she's not comfortable at swallowing yourself. She'll excuse herself to the bathroom and clear your mess off her mouth. Maybe. Or she'll just let it go onto her body or something.
I like doing the mustache. You know what the mustache is?
Don't even tell me.
All right, go ahead.
Okay. Reminder. Do not hold her head so she has no choice but to swallow.
What?
Guys do that?
Not me.
No, of course not. Because you're a saint, but you don't want to hold another. Yeah, right. You're salty as all over the earth. I think that she. That you really have to just. Yeah. You have to tell her I'm about to come.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can lightly hold onto her head if. If she allows that. Some girls don't like that. Like, get your hand off my head.
Yeah. And don't ever do the head push when you want a blowjob. That's just side note.
This is the dumbest thing you could ever.
The head push when you're like, oh, I'm hard, and I'm gonna push your head down there. That's when I get up and lean.
In the history of man.
No, it works. Why do people.
Women just do it? Oh, my God.
Yeah, they're like, oh, I guess I should. Well, those are the women who want to be pleasers. Who are pleasers. And they think that this is what he wants. And I want him to like me, but I think it's so rude when a man does that. So don't do it, dudes. Okay. If you want to ejaculate on her face, it's extremely important to get her permission before you ejaculate on her face or anywhere near it. If she does allow you to ejaculate on her face, try to avoid her eyes and hair.
And don't get any in her eyes. Avoid her hair as well as possible. So don't get anything in her eyes.
She's a boner killer.
Have you ever gotten. Have you ever squirted semen into a woman's eyes?
Yes.
Hurts.
Well, I don't know if it hurts or not, but it's stingy.
Don't do it. Be careful with your semen. It's a. It's a weapon. Be careful.
It's stingy. Like, seriously.
No, it stings like, it. It hurts. Like, I remember one time with. Years ago with this guy I was dating for a while as it happened, and it went right into my eye, and it really.
It's like chlorine stinging.
Like. Yeah. Yes. No, like, my eye got all puffy. And red. It's salt. It's semeny. It's. It's salty and semeny. Semeny. Wow, that's a technical term. You can write that out.
A lot of classy stuff you're sharing with me today.
I know. I'm over sharing. How? Didn't you make me overshare? Okay. If you want to ejaculate at her breasts, ass or stomach.
The pearl necklace, it's called.
Right. That's on her. Right.
On her ass or stomach. What do you prefer?
I think I like to mix it. It up.
Oh, okay.
Yeah. After you. Okay. The option is easy to understand. Just don't leave the cleaning up to her. After you ejaculate, take a tissue paper and wipe the semen from her. Don't rub it and spread it around with your hands. This is how people can get pregnant, too. And don't let her rub your semen all over. And get it with her hands, damn it. Don't rub it in afters, don't spread it with your hands. And don't collapse on top of her. So the mess is squished between your bodies. And you know what's right. Well, guys do that stuff. But you know what's really, really nice? I had a guy do this every single time we had sex. And I was the nicest, most chivalrous thing. You're already rolling your eyes.
He just. What?
He cleaned up after he went to the bathroom. He got a washcloth and made it hot, put hot water on it.
Okay.
And then he brought it back and he would clean it off with the hot washcloth. And I thought that was so nice. It was like a little spa bath. What?
That's just too much.
Well, tissue paper sticks to your skin. No, you just.
You as a guy, you just take your own underwear and you clean it off.
No, don't use your underwear. Your sock. Your dirty sock on my stomach with your semen.
That's what you do.
No, you don't. Is that really what you do?
You just take your own underwear and clean it off? There you go.
Done Menace.
Clean it up off the. So do you do all these things?
Do you tell women, like, do you say to them, you're not supposed. I'm going to. About to come. Right? I'm going to come. You say that. I'm about to. I'm about to go.
Where can I. Where can I go?
Do you ask that?
That?
Yeah, you say, where could I go? Good.
Yeah.
Right.
You know, give them direction and then see if they're into it.
Right? But do you ever say, I want to come on your face?
Yes. And then they usually say, why do men love that?
Why is it important?
It's all porn.
It's all porn. But why is it so. Because it's degrading towards women a little bit.
No, it's not that. You guys feel it's degrading. We don't. Oh my God. I'm going to make. I'm going to make her feel degrading. Like we're not thinking that. We're like, oh, I want to do the thing that I saw in the porn. Porno. That's it.
But some women are really, really into it. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Okay, everyone, that's what we got time for tonight. Thanks so much for listening Sex Family. Here's the deal. You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Sex Family, and you can find Instagram Stitcher. We love Stitcher. You can download Stitcher on your app and what? Listen to the podcast? We do it three times a week at sex with emily.com where you will improve your sex life. So thanks, Menace, and thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? You email me feedbackexwithemily.com and it is Friday.
Have a good Friday.
Happy weekend. Be careful. Watch your ejaculate. Ejaculoid.
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