SWE: Sex Hacker

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. Thanks so much for listening to the show. Check everything out@sexwithemily.com and I'm here with the White Menace.

Hello. How are you doing today?

How are you doing, honey?

I'm good.

We also have a special guest. We're gonna get into her whole story in a minute. We've got Maggie Mayhem. She just came from a porn set. She was not Directing or producing? You were in it, right?

That's right. Today I was doing some star work.

She was starring in a porn like, five minutes ago.

Really?

So we're gonna get into her whole story. And she is a BDSM model, sex positive activist, and she' the cutting edge of kink. I'd like to say that you are. Is that a true statement?

I don't know if I'm on the cutting edge of kink.

I feel like you are.

Cutting edge of queer.

Cutting edge of queer. Okay, perfect. We'll get into a minute.

I have a question I just want to ask her right off the road.

Okay, go ahead.

I don't know if I can handle it.

What?

Because before the show started, you said you went to Santa Cruz.

I went to. I was a student at UC Santa Cruz.

Okay. Did you become a lesbian?

Oh, God, no. I was so up in that way before I went to college.

Because every girl that I know went there like. Oh, I'll say, like 90% of them became lesbians after going. Nothing against Santa Cruz. And I support lesbians. I love them. They love what I love.

I was part of the recruitment process. Actually, no. I was one of those people who was a seed planted inside, like, a sleeper cell. A lesbian sleeper cell. And I would wait for the freshmen to come in. I made that change happen.

Okay, good. So you're the one that's who Singhandedly.

Is responsible for all your friends.

What year did you go? Because you probably made my friend lesbian.

I was there from 2003 to 2007.

Do you know somebody named Wendy?

Oh, stop. I'm not gonna out your friend. Oh, my God. Menace. Let's not play. Let's not play Santa Cruz geography. Let's not play lesbian geography right now.

She'll tell me.

Okay, anyways, good.

So what the hell's been going on with you, dude?

What the hell? Things are crazy. It's hump day.

I know.

Everyone gets humped today. And I'm trying to think what's going on.

Okay, I'll tell you what's going on.

We gotta talk about it.

Okay, bring it up. There is a commercial that just started running yesterday, and it's. It's all over Bravo. It's promoting the show that you're starring in, Misadvised. And people have been tweeting me, texting me, posting on my Facebook that you and I are making out in this promo commercial, and it's embarrassing.

Tell me about it. Not only is it embarrassing what you don't see, and we should probably wait for people to see it.

Yeah, yeah. Don't, don't, don't give it. Don't give.

I'm not going to give you the background, but let me tell you what you do see is that Mendes wipes his mouth in disgust and then tells me that I'm a bad kid.

You're laughing so hard about that, too.

You're like, that wasn't good.

F you.

I was like, wiping my face like a little baby. Like, oh, that's not good.

You're like, that was really bad. And then I'm like, but there's more to the story, so you must stay tuned on June 18th to see it all. 10 o' clock on Bravo.

All right.

Very exciting stuff going on. Yes.

What's going on?

And today we have to give a big shout out to Good Vibrations. They are our sponsor here. Use coupon code GVMILY15 for 15% off. Anything from Good Vibes. And let me just tell you, they've got everything that you need and want. If you've never bought a sex toy before, what's your favorite sex toy, Maggie? I know it's probably hard to choose.

But it's the Hitachi Magic Wand.

Right, The Hitachi Magic Wand. We're all together on that. So go buy a Hitachi Magic Wand for you or your partner or both of you use it together. It's awesome. And yeah, we can start talking to Maggie. Is there anything else menace that is going on in your world?

Nothing. We mentioned the show. Just make sure set your DVR for Broadway. Bravo. June 18th, 10pm 10pm it's gonna be.

Running for eight minutes. Misadvised. And you can also go to Sex with Emily. You can find me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Sex with Emily.

Yeah. And if you're. If you're gonna tweet and say you're excited for the show, make sure you use hashtag misadvised.

Hashtag Mrs. Buzzed. Mrs. We got it. Okay, Maggie, tell me. Tell me about yourself, Maggie. Okay, we already know. So how do you identify?

Oh, wow. I identity. I have so many different identities, so sex hacker is probably my first big identity.

Sex hacker.

Now, I saw that on your Twitter. I'm like, what the hell is a sex hacker?

Well, I want you to imagine sexuality as being like a computer that you get from Best Buy and right out the box. It's probably not going to meet all your needs. You're going to need to do a little bit of some custom work. Make sure those settings are working out for the Kind of computer work that you want to do.

Exactly.

So you have to do that basic prelim setup, and I think that's sexuality. But I like to go a little bit deeper. I like to get inside the computer chips. I want to get inside the coding. I love to program. I love to reprogram. I like to crack through barriers. I like to get into someone's security. I want to get in their firewall.

Oh, my God, the whole nine yards.

I'm a sex actor.

You're speaking menace's language here. Cause he speaks computers. Do you understand how that relates to sex? Does that make sense to you?

A little bit, yes.

So give me an example. So you're saying when you meet someone.

Is to get into what makes them tick, what turns them on, what makes them hot, and, like, what kind of.

Hard drive they need.

What kind of hard drive they need. I had to hack myself.

And hopefully it's hard.

Yeah.

Not a soft drive. Right. Or floppy disk.

I had to hack myself first. You know, I think everything that I needed was kept behind a secure barrier, a wall, all the information that I needed, everything that I wanted to get ahold of. And so I think sex hacking started with myself.

So how did you start with yourself?

Oh, my God. I started sticking my. My nose where it didn't belong, probably in terms of information and libraries and asking questions. That's really the first place. And when you're trying to get into something, you really do want to kind of find the right question and find the right way to start developing a plan or a path to get to the answers you're looking for.

Right.

So it starts there asking way too many questions, getting into some trouble, getting denied access a lot, but eventually developing a routine so I could start getting information and I could start customizing, basically, like, my sexual software.

Okay, so how have you been customized? Wired sexually, like. Okay, well, let's just say that we mentioned at the top of the hour, at the top of the show, that Mat Maggie just came from a porn set, and she said she probably smells like a porn set. I haven't smelled anything, and it's probably delightful.

Well, it was a major squirting shoot. So not only did I get, like, squirt on me, I actually. I was laying down, and it was like a bucket of water kind of just being dropped from perhaps a great height.

Wow.

So I didn't just get squirted on a little bit. I actually. I got like, a fee jack shower.

Oh, my God. And this was when you were with another woman who squirted yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's.

Yeah. Female ejaculation.

Female ejaculation. Do you believe that any woman can learn to ejaculate?

I can't, but I. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting closer.

Oh, that's good. Cause we've had people on the show where, like, every woman can ejaculate, and Magnus doesn't believe in it. He thinks it's.

No, I just give him hearts.

It's urine.

I give you a hard time about it at all.

When you've actually tasted it, you know that it's not.

Yeah. Menace. You just need to taste a big. Take a big swig of it.

Take a big smell, because it's actually. It's really sweet. You'd be surprised. It's really, really, really sweet. It's a far cry. But, you know, I wouldn't say that every woman could ejaculate, because not every man can ejaculate.

Right.

So I'm not gonna hold one standard.

Up to the other. I got it. I got it. But the Hitachi magic wand. Let me just say, this can be a nice tool to learn that.

Oh, a great tool.

A great tool. Which is our favorite thing. So tell me, so you were at a porn shoot today, and then what else happened?

Shoot.

You got squirted on what? Squirt.

Give me some other.

Can you break it down for me? Any other details?

Well, you know, it was really fantastic. I was with Girlfriends Films, and they are doing an educational film with Madison Young. So this was about G Spot Play and female ejaculation.

Oh, it's an educational film. Awesome. Okay.

And edgy porno. And it was really.

I love it.

We had, like, a very 1950s setup, so it was a very San Francisco dyke kind of thing. And sitting down on the couch, watching some television, eating some popcorn.

Right.

You know, getting your hands in each other's pussies.

Oh, my God. That sounds so fun, doesn't it, Menace?

It sounds insane.

I was tweeting this morning. Not as interesting. What was I doing? I was writing blog posts.

Yeah.

And you had your fingers in pussies. I just.

I was trying to figure out how to copy a dvd. That's all I was doing.

Oh, but you did a good job.

Thank you.

What was some of your first sexual experiences like when you were growing up, would you say? Were they all.

I was so nerdy. I was so geeky. It's actually, I.

I think everyone I went to school with is kind of shocked that I do porn because I was the biggest dork in the classroom.

Oh, oh, oh.

Y.

Where did you grow up?

I'm from East Los Angeles.

Okay.

And I was actually doing some tweeting and some tumbling of my high school pictures. I had an accidental mullet. I went through a year of high school.

Didn't know.

Didn't know.

No one told you?

No.

How would you know? Wow, that's great.

It never occurred to me to get Virgo to a hair salon and get a haircut, so it just kind of. I was trimming my bangs in the front of my hair, and the back just kept going, and it happens.

Now your name is sounding so familiar to me, and I work in alternative radio, and I didn't look anything up about you. Are you the same person that was dating Dave Navarro?

No.

No. Okay, I'm totally wrong. There must be somebody that has a similar name.

Maggie Mayhem is a name that's out there. There's definitely the film Whip it, and that came out, and there was a Maggie Mayhem character in there.

Okay.

But I actually, I.

Have you dated since you, you know, you work in the industry. You might be around any. Some famous people, they like to hang out with people that work in porn.

I'm too big of a dork. No, I hate you. No, no. It hangs out with me.

You guys can watch this show. Come look at the camera right now. You might get.

You don't hang out with anybody.

People are really, really shocked. I think I'm one of the biggest prudes in the industry. I. You know, whenever I don't.

Are you good to hang out with people?

No, I'm too. I'm too dorky. I just. I really want to read Wikipedia entries on random.

So you get off by going to maybe Comic Con or something like that?

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Who are the people that you want to bone at Comic Con? That's what I want to know.

You know, actually, I think the people I would want to bone the most don't make it out, because I still have a thing for Warren Ellis.

Okay.

Just.

I mean, but Warren Ellis isn't going anywhere. Warren Ellis has a cane. He's drinking. He's back across the pond where it's rainy. But I absolutely think he is so brilliant. And especially being a very big fan of Hunter S. Thompson, I love what he did with Trans Metropolitan. Transmet is my favorite comic. I can't get enough of it.

See, now we know where she hangs out.

Right?

Exactly.

All right, fellas, there is a chance. If you see her, how did you.

Get involved in all this, you said since you were a young age, you were like a sex hacker. You were always interested in learning about it. But how did you get involved in doing porn and working? You work@kink.com too, right?

I have done some shoots@kink.com.

Okay.

Like when I say sex hacking, it started with identity. So it started to realize, like, wait a minute, I'm not heterosexual. This isn't working. Oh, wait a minute, I'm queer. Oh, wait a minute. The way we talk about sexuality has been done completely wrong. I need to disable that entire system and implement something new. And in my big process of acquiring information, I started doing HIV testing in 2003. Okay, so I was doing HIV testing counseling. That means administering the test, doing a counseling session, and disclosing the results.

Wow, that's intense.

So I started from there, and it was just gonna be a volunteer job. A couple years down the road, I was coordinating the entire clinic.

Oh, my God.

I ran the entire testing program. I was doing the training, I was doing the back end work, just making HIV testing happening. When I finished up college, I left Santa Cruz, I came to San Francisco, and I served as the HIV senior specialist at Larkin Street Youth Services. They're a very big agency here in San Fran. Oh, yeah. They have probably more than a dozen youth shelters. And I had my office at the facility for HIV positive homeless youth. That's where I work. That's where I was, like my home for years. And one day I got a call from Loki, who is a bondage rigger, and he'd seen me out in San Francisco in the clubs because I'm, you know, I'm kinky. I'm a sex hacker. You know, my personal life. And he saw me hanging around in some robes and said, right. Hey, have you ever considered doing porn?

Wow. Just like that.

Like that. And no one. No one ever asked me that kind of question. And I thought about it, and when I came down to my decision making process, the only thing that was in the conversation list, you know, the no list, was how much of a jerk other people can be to porn stars.

Right?

And everything in the yes was about my own desire to immortalize my youth and to document something that we don't even talk about, let alone really sit down and analyze.

Right?

So I said, you know what? I really. I'm not gonna let other people's ideas color my own adventures.

Exactly.

You know, they're just beginning, and this is an opportunity. So I did my first porn shoot about three years ago.

Okay. So you're still. And what was that. What was the first porn shoot like? Is it all bondage stuff? Because I want to talk to you a little about bondage. So it's all bondage.

It was a bondage shoot. It was actually so non traditional. I showed up and one of the first things they said is, we have this author guy who wants to interview you because it's your first time doing porn. And I walk into the room and this author guy was Stephen Elliot, who.

Is saying, oh, yeah, I know Stephen, but he's been on the show before.

Yeah, Stephen is a local author here in San Francisco, and I'd had his books on my shelf. So I'm completely. Right off the bat. I am surprised by the fact that I'm sitting down with an author I've read that I enjoy.

My girlfriend comes to the city and beats me up. And he's One of his books. Yeah.

The Adderall Diaries most recently.

Yeah, I'd like.

And he just released Cherry, which is filmed at the Armory. And he co wrote that with Laura Lee Lee. Oh, okay, great.

I haven't talked to him in a few years, but anyway, that's cool. You got interviewed and. Okay. And you got tied up.

Yeah, well. And then as if that wasn't enough, I sit down with Steven Elliot, and they're like, oh, we want to do another interview with you about being an HIV test counselor. So then I spent another, you know, pre porn period of time explaining how to disclose a positive test result to somebody.

Oh, God, honey, that's hard stuff. You know, they did. But that was your work.

That's my work. It was kind of maybe not the best timing right before porn shoot. Right.

You're like, really? Do I need to stop work when I'm here doing this? But.

And then I finally got into the porn, and it was the Loki was doing the casting couch. And the theme of that porn was to be like a really sleazy 1970s producer's office. Just the bad lamp and the horrible brown leather couch that would crinkle and you'd sit in it.

I've been there.

Oh, yeah, we've all been there. Right?

Exactly.

So off came the clothes, on went the rope, and a star was born.

Oh, my God. And how many porns have you done so far thus far?

I know I've been in so few films, but I've done a lot of different shoots. I actually have kind of moved away from a lot of BDSM porn, and I do predominantly queer work. I run a website with my partner now.

Okay, what's your website? Let's give a shout out to your website, meetthemahems.com. okay? And you spell that. M A Y H E M. Yeah.

M A Y H E M. Okay. And if you. If you see me on Twitter, I'm on Twitter, too. MsMaggy. Mayhem. You'll find a link to that and you'll even find a link to my partner.

Okay, and your partner. Is this your. Your partner that you're. Your business partner or your partner. Partner in life.

My. My partner. Partner. Partner in life. You know, just every which way, living together.

Okay, man or woman?

He is a CIS male, okay? And right now he is off working in his underground lab. He is. He does quantum nano electronics.

Okay.

And he is. He did his undergrad in Harvard. At Harvard in physics. And now he's working on his PhD.

Wow. So he's smart.

Yeah.

He's the same stuff you are sexually.

I dragged him into it.

You did?

Oh, my God.

How'd you get him involved? Because so many, I think women probably want would like to make that change in their relationship. He started talking. Well, he knew. I'm sure if he knows you and he fell in love with you, he knew that what he was getting.

We had a brief meeting, you know, and then it was getting to be Christmas time, and I had to sit down with him and say, you know, sweetie, I know that, you know, it's such a pain to go with your partner to a holiday company Christmas party, and I would really like you to be there at mine. And, you know, I mean, it's totally open bar. Totally open bar. No cash, totally open bar. And it's.

Let's start with the bar.

It's a live filmed orgy. And totally open bar, totally open bar. And, you know, like, hang out. No pressure. But, you know, if you're dating someone in porn, you should see what a set is like.

Absolutely.

And this was an opportunity. And so he's like this geek in a corner. He ties his own bow ties.

Aw.

You know, he doesn't use a clip on. That's just not. That's not the Harvard way.

Right.

You know, being really geeky in the corner and kind of like Superman. The Clark Kent effect.

I love it.

Took off his suit and, you know, no one expected him to have muscles. He works out a lot.

Right.

No one expected him to be a toddy speed demon. And he realized he loved making porn. And he's queer as well. So he shoots with men, he shoots with women. He shoots with oh my God.

Not only did you get him into your sex world, but you got him into the porn business as well.

Yeah.

That's amazing. Okay, have you guys done any scenes together?

Quite a few.

Fun.

Quite a few.

And now what kind of stuff? What's your favorite scene that you've done together?

Oh my God. I think actually there was a scene we did for Queer Porn tv and that was with Courtney Trouble and Tina Horne were directing. And that was a really fantastic, fantastic shoot. It was about rough sex and couples and how to do it in a really passionate, loving way. And so we had a fun. We like romped around in this great hotel room and at the end we realized that we needed to start being in charge of our own porn. So it's my favorite shoot because that's the day that we decided to become producers.

And great. You're doing it all. You're in charge of it all, but you're doing. And you're still doing porn. But it's a different kind right now.

Or you're, you know, I mean, it's. If I get good opportunities, I tend to be really picky, choosy with who I shoot with. And I love working with Madison Young.

Uh huh.

I love G Spot play. I love female ejaculation. So this was a project I had to say yes to.

Of course you did. Of course you had to say yes to it. I can't imagine that sounds really fun. Now what do you think about the whole world now being into this, like 50 shades of grey and BDSM? Like, do you feel like you're like, I've been there. But it seems like the mommy porn book 50 Shades of Gray that everyone in the world is talking about. Have you read it at all?

You know, I haven't read it, but there's always is a mommy porn book. I think I remember 100 strokes of the brush before midnight.

Yes, I have that one too. Right.

And that was a few years ago. And everyone was like, ah, the Hundred strokes. So we went from 100 strokes to 50 shades and it just makes me realize that I need to release like 25 flavors of perversion before noon.

Yeah, exactly.

You know, and I should be set on in terms of the book.

Yeah, you should.

I'm just blown away by the fact that I was in the airport. I was in the Denver airport, and there was an airport bookseller that had 50 shades of gray, not just in the front window, but in the display spilling out into the, you know, pedestrian traffic area. And Brookstone was selling Lilos you know, with just. No.

Oh, my God.

Are you serious?

Not gratuitous.

Lilo. Vi. Amazing. Amazing. Sex toys. Lilo.

Yeah. Major. And so I was like, wow, I'm so used to airports. Kind of the sexuality of an airport. I always think of graying politicians.

Right.

And now I'm thinking about middle aged women getting 50 shades of gray and a Leela.

I love it. I've heard about. I'm going to the airport next week, but I haven't been in a while since. But everyone's talking about how the airport. Yeah. How it's just everywhere.

It's everywhere.

So what do you think it is about the BDSM world? Bondage discipline. Sadomasochism. If people don't know what that is. Exactly. But a lot of people listening to our show do. What do you think it is about? That appeal? I know you haven't read the book and I've actually just halfway through it, but what do you think it is that Women. Mommy porn. Women in the Midwest. My mother's read it three times or she's read all three novels. What do you think it is about it that is so appealing on this primal level to women?

Everything in the world is about sex, except for sex, which is about everything else. And when something like BDSM pops into the erotic consciousness of people in the country, I tend to think it's reflective of something that we need to know and understand. And in other words, it means it might be about something else. And I think we're all rushing around and we don't have a lot of autonomy and we don't necessarily get some of the same focus from partners. And one thing that BDSM is going to get is the, you know, full attention of your partner, ideally because you're working with something a little bit more complex. So at the very least, they have to pay attention to the knots or the thing they're hitting you with.

And you're pretty advanced, right? You do all the knots and do everything. And I'm very basic. I like bondage tape.

Bondage tape is great, dude.

I love bondage with it.

I'm obsessed with bondage tape. You should buy it at Good Vibes. Go to Good vibes dot com. Buy a bondage tape. It's like, how do you explain it? It's just. It does. It's like, looks like electrical tape, but it's tape that sticks to itself. And you can put over your eyes and more of your eyelashes and rip.

Anything or your hair. No, that's why I Hate it because there's love. It's really sexy about the spontaneity of a moment. If you want to do bondage, sometimes it's hard to remember all the technique and things like that. But bondage tape, you can just go.

Ahead, do whatever you can be like.

And just wrap it around someone's head. Don't worry about their hair. It's gonna be fine.

I'm trying to get Menace to use it for years, but secure. He won't do it. He's good.

I'll get robbed.

So I was gonna ask you, what about your website? What is that all about? Meet the Mams, Meet the Mayhems is Mayhems.

I think it's a pretty cool website, and I wanted to play with the idea that most people see a couple, especially a couple named Maggie and Ned. I mean, we really. We sound like we're 90 and we live in a Florida retirement community, but we don't have, like, sexy names. We're Maggie and Ned, and we're both cisgender. We are in a heterosexual pairing. But when you peel that back, when you get to know us, you'll actually start to realize that our sexuality is much more complex. It's not heterosexist. We really want to challenge those tropes and those norms and show things like the fact that, you know, we're very into pegging, but not necessarily. In the Angry Dominatrix, you know, this is because you've been a bad boy.

But this is because it feels good.

Because it feels good. And, you know, especially when I can lay back and he'll jump up on top of me and be like, boy on top, the strap on. And that is always so sexy. So sexy.

I know we talk about pegging a lot on the show.

I think it's just really been taking off lately.

I feel like it's so in the mainstream right now, right? Pegging men being anally penetrated by a dildo or whatever. But I feel like. And Menace thinks I'm obsessed with it.

You are. You bring it up all the time. I do want it. You want to peg somebody?

I've never pegged anybody, really. I know. Sex Family's never pegged anybody.

You want to peg somebody so bad.

Right now turn around.

No, I'm good.

No, that just so makes me want to, like, bring someone, like a good, experienced girl.

I know, right? Do you have anyone I could borrow for my trial? Pegging Ned, your boyfriend.

Perfect.

I love it. Yeah. What do you think? Just try it out with Ned if you want to.

You Bring it up enough, it seems like you want to do it.

I just think that every guy should. What if. Cause my whole thing is that, like, what if it's this amazing thing that every man in the world could be feeling right now, and it's a sensation that they've never had and they could. And it could be amazing and you die and you never felt it.

Is there anything on the other side of it like that you're receiving? I mean, you know, I know you get a feeling of joy doing this for your partner, but is there. Is the device rigged where you're, you're receiving, like, you know, like.

Double sided dildo type thing?

You know, sometimes we've done that. I think what I find really enjoyable is the fact that if you have a broad base on the dildo, something that's. I like a big circular shape that sits over my entire kind of pelvis. And when I get that pressure from the thrusting, it's getting into the top leg of my clitoris. Since we know that the clitoris isn't just like that little tiny pea shape that you see. It's actually like this Mercedes Benz symbol.

Right.

You know, because it is like your pelvis muscles.

Exactly.

And so when I get the, the external stimulation from the thrusting, I have a great time. I can absolutely get off from that.

Oh, that's amazing. See, Menace. She's getting off. He's getting off to win. Win.

Good. I learned something today.

You did learn something today. He doesn't get it when, when get into that. So what would you say is like the, the craziest thing that you've experienced lately in bed? Like, how have you pushed yourself lately? Anything sexually you've done that you hadn't done? Because I feel like you've done a.

Lot, you know, I've done a lot, but it's really, it's never about the big complexity of the act because I can sit there and say, yeah, I've been strung up by my ankles and cattle prodded. Been there, done that. Yeah, seen that.

You know, who hasn't seen that?

Who hasn't done that, you know, done. I haven't been anally fisted, but I've done scenes where I've gotten my entire fist inside somebody nice into the ass. And that's all.

Did you find anything in there, like a watch?

No, thank God.

Good.

I'm not ready to find anything there yet, actually. My big goal is everyone has a good time and I leave empty handed. Yeah, but.

Something'S there.

It could be something there. You never Know what? Someone loses, you know, some jelly beans or something.

Yeah.

I don't know why.

There was a scene in. In the New Dictator where he loses a cell phone in there. It's pretty funny.

Okay.

Yes.

That was actually like, a story. Someone had to go to a hospital to get a phone removed.

Are you serious?

Someone was using it for the vibrate function.

And, you know, just buy a vibrator.

Buy a remote vibrator. But the most, like, interesting sexual thing lately. Getting engaged.

Congratulations. Oh, my God. That is really interesting. Do you have a ring and everything?

You know, actually, I need to get it resized, but the ring that I'm wearing is. It's missing a couple of diamonds. It is the ring that my grandfather designed for my grandmother in the 1920s. Oh, nice. Sweet.

I love that.

And I didn't need to bring any more gold and especially diamonds into the world, and so right now it's sitting on my index finger.

I love that. It's, like, from family and.

Yeah, that's really cool.

Yeah, it doesn't need. It doesn't really. You know, I'm not necessarily is big on the symbols. A lot of people are really into symbols, and especially when I come from a community where a collar is a very big sign of commitment. And I'm just so bad at keeping jewelry on myself.

Like, you know, I lose all my jewelry.

I lose jewelry all the time. I don't want to lose this one, though. But, yeah, no, you can't. So I feel.

Congratulations. That's so exciting. So I have a question for you. So you guys are polyamorous then? Or however I know you don't probably don't even like.

Yeah, we're actually speaking. Oh, my God. That's like. Talk about being crazy. You know, I did porn this morning. Radio today. I'm doing more porn tomorrow than I'm doing a live performance. I'm going to be sledging concrete, nearly nude, if not completely nude. And then I'm going to be speaking at the open SF conference on polyamory.

Okay.

With my partner's family.

Oh, my God. His family? Like mom, dad?

Yeah, well, his dad and his dad's secondary partner.

Oh, my God. Because his dad's polyamorous as well.

My partner is second generation poly.

Oh, my God. What the fuck?

You guys need your own reality show.

Exactly what kind of things do you think you'll be talking about? Because polyamory is something that I think definitely also is becoming more known. Mainstream. Not mainstream, but people are just. What kind of things are you gonna Share, you think, what's the most important things people have to understand about polyamory? And I think we. And the messaging that you're gonna think.

That you're gonna deliver, how to talk.

About it cross generationally is one thing I think we're going to be talking about. And the fact that it doesn't mean family ends. I think we think of it as, you know, the grownups do and is so far removed from family life. And I also kind of want to show that it's another form of a family and that there is the, you know, what happens in. Behind closed doors, in the bedroom, between consenting adults. And then there's also a family structure that polyamory involves, and those are people who are included, and they do have a narrative, you know, and that's something else that's growing in the Northwest. There's actually a kind of a summer camp for poly families, and they have specific activities for the kids to go that are totally age appropriate. There's no, like, kinky sex happening.

Pegging.

Yeah.

Not at summer camp.

Not at summer camp.

No. Pegging at summer camp to give kids.

A chance to meet other kids. Because my partner grew up, and he was always kind of embarrassed to bring people home to his crazy poly family.

I'm sure. Where did he grew up?

He grew up outside of Seattle.

Okay. Yeah, that would be tough. That would be tough to explain, especially as a kid. So what kind of issues do you guys have? I would think, of course, it's not always smooth sailing just because you decide that you're gonna be polyamorous. How about jealousy? That's the biggest issue that comes up.

For a lot of coup that didn't come in my factory default model. No, you just don't get jealous to me, I would. I would consider him having sex with somebody else. Like him going out to the bar and having a drink with somebody else, as long as it's not interrupting the work that we need to get done as a couple.

Right.

You know, but that's actually just being disrespectful, I think, with your partner's time. But aside from the sex and the romance, you know, I've always been just kind of that geeky. I think. It's just. It flies over my head, and I get really fixated on things that I build and do, you know, I mean, one of my big goals. I've been a big fan of Masters and Johnson, and they did the orgasm chart, and I sat down and thought, hey, technology is so much better. You know, why haven't we made another orgasm detector. So Ned and I built the PSI gasm and that stands for pounds per square inch. And it is wireless, it is real time, and it has 12 sensors that detect the quantitative signs of sexual arousal and orgasm.

Oh, my God. You invented it.

Yeah, we built it.

That's amazing.

And we made it as open source as possible. It's programmed on Arduino and we worked. I just actually want to show people how to do circuit board type of.

Work so you can tell if someone's having an orgasm.

It's like a sexual lie detector test. It's got everything a lie detector test has. What, and then tell if a woman's faking?

Yeah.

And I've taken a picture of my orgasm. We have footage of it up on.

Oh, my God. We have to check that out.

Did we get in delorean and go into the future of science?

I know. I love it. Well, I was gonna ask you about science and sex and how you think.

I told you I was a sex hacker.

Yeah, you really are. I mean, that's amazing.

That's crazy.

I'm afraid what happens when that get. Because seriously, all these men are going to be shocked that she's never had an orgasm.

Well, and it's great to actually use it on a man because when you're looking at the pelvic floor, we get to look at muscles inside a guy. And so what we get to see is that the male and the female orgasm aren't from two different worlds as much as we thought. They look very similar. They do very similar things. And especially when you're looking at the pounds per square inch, you're also. We put in. I'm trying to remember if we put in two or three photoplacismographs. But a photoplacysmography is going to be looking at the way the blood is flowing into the genital region. And so if we put a photoplacysmograph up towards the back, the middle and the front, we can actually see where the blood is congesting. So that would be like a hard on. That would be like a clitoris starting to become erect. That's all that kind of tissue.

And that is so cool. And you can see you guys built it like. What do you mean? We built it in between having sex and whatever. Having. Doing all your stuff.

We're just kind of geeky.

That is so cute.

Just when I'm not going out to the bars.

Minus is building things too. He's building at a sex toy called the dump truck.

The dump truck.

He's not really.

But it's just a joke.

It's just one of his jokes.

In Japan, the scientists are working really hard on it.

Okay.

And having fire issues, catching on fire and stuff.

That's what Hitachis do too.

They catch on fire.

Wait, don't they plug in the wall? Right?

They plug the wall. No, that's a little known trick. Yeah. If you. Hitachi does they overheat so badly sometimes. And so they have been known to spontaneously. Oh, my God.

I don't want to burn off my clitoris. I better be careful.

Well, you have the rockbox now.

Oh, my God. Do you know about the rockbox? No. It's the strongest vibrator, the most powerful vibrator. I should give it to you because I'm afraid of it. It is a. It looks like a power tool.

Literally.

Literally looks like that. I should bring it in and just show it.

You talk about it all the time.

The rock box. I saw it. I went to the sex toy show and they showed it there. And it's. It's got this.

It looks.

It plugs into the wall with like one of those thick, thick cords and it has like tongue you can put different inserts in. But one of them is like a tongue that goes around and it's like more powerful than Hitachi. They say.

Wow.

Yeah, the rockbox, you gotta check. It just came out like, I think it's just in stores right now and it's on my top shelf at my house and I haven't tried it yet. I'm afraid my vagina's gonna go flying across the room.

Yeah, you could blow out your vagina.

I could blow out my vagina. Okay, well, thank you so much, Maggie. You're awesome. Having so your website again. Let's tell people if they want to check out all your amazing stuff you're doing.

You know, I'm all over the web, so you can find my blog@missmaggiemayhem.com M I S S M a G G I E M a y h e m.com you can find my porn with my partner at meetthemayhems.com m e e T T H E M A Y h e m s.com and from there you're gonna find links to our Twitter accounts, to our Tumblr, to our YouTube. We're up to all kinds of weird geeky stuff.

Awesome. I can't wait to keep checking you out. It's so nice to meet you. And we're gonna have all that info on our website. 2 sex with Emily minus any final words from you from the Beauty gallery.

Yes, we are here at the Stitcher Studios in San Francisco, California. Stitcher is an app that you can download smartphone. It's totally free. S T I T C H E R all you do after you download it, you just search Sex with Emily and you can take the show on the go.

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