SWE: Spanking, Hair Pulling, and Biting

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

The women know about shoes shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to Sex with Emily, where you can check out all of our podcasts. We've got hundreds of them for you to listen to. And you can also check out our website, sexwithemily.com and thanks for listening to the show. And I want to thank our listeners because it has been a crazy few weeks. And, you know, we have a lot of shows, as you know, on itunes and on my website, and some of our shows have been repeats. They're our best of shows. But I just want to say that they're not dated, because when you're talking about sexual. And for example, six months ago, if I was telling you how to give a blowjob, it's still the same as it was six months ago. So I hope you're enjoying all the shows, and we're going to be having two new shows a week. And speaking of blowjobs. Hi, Menace. How are you? Hi.

How are you doing today?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good. I just have to apologize to people. I've been getting some messages. People say that I sound like I'm falling asleep. And I was trying to explain to you and to some listeners the. The way we record the show because you're in Los Angeles, I'm in San Francisco, is really different from what I've done in the past 15 years. So I can't. I can't even hear myself when I'm talking. So it sounds. I kind of sound like I'm falling asleep and my words are all over the place. So I'm not boring you Working on news? We're working. No, you're not boring me. We're working on a new system to make everything better. The real way of doing it would probably cost us about $25,000 just to get the setup right, and then about $2,000 per show. And we just, you know.

Right. But that said, we are gonna improve upon It. I'm gonna be. I'm gonna punch some equipment and some mics. I mean, I know people who do it around here. They do shows with the mics and the thing. I just have to learn how to do it and buy a new mic and all that stuff. But thanks for hanging in with us.

Yeah. Everything will be getting better. So I apologize if the sound is a little weird.

Yeah.

Has it been up to. You know, because we pride ourselves on how good the quality is for the show. And I know it's been like that for 10 years and, you know, we're just trying to work it out. I'm in San Francisco, she's in Los Angeles. Okay.

Yeah, exactly. Everyone bear with us. And I'm working on it day to day to make it better. So anyway, also I want you to. But today's show is a special show because we're getting so many emails from our listeners. I get emails, you know, hundreds a day to feedbackextwithemily.com so today's show is just going to be answering your emails that you send because there's so many interesting topics. And I picked the ones I picked to emails today to read that seem to represent the common questions that I get asked. We've got a friends with benefits situation. We've got a couple who's been together for a while and guess what? They don't have sex that often. Another guy wants to know how. What it means when a woman wants to be manhandled in bed. And also we're gonna talk about orgasming and all that stuff. So everything today's chock full of all your favorite topics. So I think you'll like that.

Can we talk about Anthony Weiner first, though?

Oh, my God, yes.

Okay. Because you used to work in politics and you're around politicians. Politicians and everything, but the guy looks like a monkey or a snake or like a lizard, you know, but. But I guess, do women really find whatever power this guy may have? I don't even know what kind of power you have.

He's running for mayor is kind of sexy, but its power is an aphrodisiac. So there's a lot of women who look at people like the mayor. He's running for mayor. He was already stepped down when he was senator, but he's, you know, because of his other sex scandal. Or was he senator? Yeah. Or he's congressman. Whatever he was, he got left that post. Then he says, this is the campaign of redemption. I'm running again for mayor. All that's behind me and then he can't help himself. So, yes, I think we see that with a lot of politicians. And I think it's honestly menace. It's a power thing. And they kind of think they're invincible. And they think. It doesn't really. They can do whatever they want. And maybe he's got a little addiction going on. You know, I don't want to. I don't want to diagnose him. He's never been sitting in my. And I've never talked to him before, but I mean, come on, dude. We. I mean, you know, the best part is. So I was on. Actually, you'll appreciate this madness. And I should have told you I was on the Sean Hannity show talking about Anthony Weiner the other day.

Oh, really?

You know Sean Hannity, right? He's the right wing.

Yeah.

Okay. So it was funny because obviously I'm like the left wing sexpert from California. And he's. He was like, don't you think, like, he's like, I hear you like open relationships, Emily. Like, you would like, like, you know, he was kind of. He was. He actually wasn't that bad to me. But it was really funny because the thing. So I talked about Anthony Weiner and I talked about, like, why people do this certain thing. And I just feel like maybe he is sort of in, you know, his wife stood up and supported him, just like we saw Hillary Clinton with Bill Clinton. But I do think there's something about politicians that think they're invincible and all that. But the best part is the day after, I was so bummed because the best part of the whole Anthony Weiner scandal came out. And if you guys don't know Anthony Weiner, he was already a fallen man for sending pictures, tweeting pictures of his penis. And he had to resign from office two years ago. Right. So then he's coming back running for mayor saying, hey, yeah, I'm all, I'm all cured. I'm not going to do that anymore. And now it comes off that he's like, not only texting all these women, but this one woman said that they had phone sex. But the best part of it is that he premature ejaculated during phone sex.

Yeah. Oh, no.

She was on Howard Stern today, and it was the best interview ever.

Tell me what to say.

She laid it all out. Like, he always wanted to know what kind of shoes she was wearing.

Like, oh, tell me about your heels. But it was all about him. She's like. She's like, yeah, he never cared about what I was interested in. She's like. Everything I had to say was how to be about him and boosting his ego on everything.

I think that's common.

She said that he would call her, like, four or five times a day just to have phone sex.

Oh, my God. Four or five times a day. That sounds sort of impulsive to me. And that does sound like an addiction. I didn't listen to it. I got to listen to it. That is crazy.

Yeah. Oh, it's so good. Like, she. She says everything. I'll send you a link.

I want to hear. And speaking of premature ejaculation. So I've come across a. Premature ejaculation is a common. We know you always hear about erectile dysfunction and people taking Viagra, but premature ejaculation is actually. Is that a lot of people who are diagnosed with ED actually have premature ejaculation, and they don't know it. And so there's this new spray, and I met with this guy yesterday, and this is gonna, like, take over the world. So basically it's called promescent, and that's P R O M E S E N T. And it's a cure for. I mean, it's a. It helps people who have erectile. Who have premature ejaculation, which a lot of guys do, you know, like, within, you know, a minute, they have. They can't control their orgasms. Basically, it kind of does a slightly numbing effect on your penis, and you can actually last longer. And it's the only solution out there. And all the other sexperts in the world, Like, I think it's really gonna, like, change the way men have sex because you don't have to take a pill. It's not like Viagra. You don't have to go on antidepressants, which is what a lot of doctors tell you to do when you're having some kind of rectal thing. But you just spray it on your penis. It doesn't hurt. It makes it a little numb, and you won't have premature ejaculation. So I just want to say a lot of our listeners are mental. Might be their issue. And this thing is, like, taken off like wildfire. So I just want to tell everyone about it.

Yeah. And this. Oh, just go back to this chick real quick. She's a total, total fame whore. She's already thinking about doing a porno.

Of course she is.

She's like, oh, I don't even care.

But tell me this menace. Did they ever meet? Do they meet? Or was it all phone sex. They.

They never met in person. It was all phone sex. And she said that he would tell her how he wanted to.

Come on her feet.

Oh, God. So he's got a foot fetish, too. We love foot fetishes. We're always trying to figure that out, so. This is so upsetting. This is really. I feel bad. I mean, I mean, I feel bad for the whole. His wife, she's a beautiful woman. She sees really smart, really intelligent guys who are politicians. I'm telling you. You know what it is? It's like their outlet. Like, some people drink a lot, some people go to the gym, some people eat too much. I think that he's just got some kind of, you know, his releases. If it's four times a day, that's pretty impulsive.

Yeah. And the, the best part is the Clintons are pissed now about this because everyone keeps on bringing up the Clintons and you know, Hillary Clinton supposedly be supposed to be running for president soon.

Right.

And this can. The scandal keeps on coming up in the media and they're comparing it.

I know, but no one's forgotten about it. She thinks that's going to ruin it. We all know that it's happening, you know?

Yeah. I mean, I mean, it's. It's reminding people it's.

No, that's true. That would be a total bummer. Like, that would be a bummer if you were her. You're like, ah, damn. You're dredging up the fact that you know Monica Lewinsky and the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. That is just. I mean, I don't understand. I mean, every politic. Which politicians haven't had a sex scandal, raise your hand. I mean, you hear something every single day. You really do. And you think when he's running on the campaign of redemption that he wouldn't do it. But anyway, it's good fodder for the media. And he's an idiot.

He's a total idiot.

I don't know. I just think people can't control their urges sometimes. So it's a bummer.

He went from. He went from number one in the polls to four.

Now I know he's going to drop out any day. It's very sad.

He said he's not going to drop out.

Oh, really? He will. Campaign manager quit. I mean, you're right. I bet you he will, though. I mean, he's going to run out of money. He's not going to get any more money. I mean, we'll see what happens. Maybe he won't the thing about politics, too, though, is that he was the front runner before this happens. And I often liken it to, like, a basketball game where, like, really, if you care about the game, you can watch it the last 30 seconds, and that's when everything happens, no matter who's in the lead. And I feel like politics is a lot that way, too. Like, that people. It's only August right now. It's not even August yet. It's July. The campaign's in November. And people forget. I mean, this is really big. But seriously, other things could happen. And maybe he'll stay in the race. Stranger things have happened. Yeah, we shall see. What? Her.

Her interview was so good. It was all. It was just straight tell all. It was crazy.

That's amazing. And how did she know it was him? He didn't change it. He changed his name to Danger.

No. So what she. What she said was. It was.

She was like, really? She's really big into politics, so she knows everything about politics. And she said that she messaged him on Facebook saying how. How disappointed she was in him and with all this sex scandal, all this kind of stuff.

Right, right.

She said not. And not until a year later he messages her back and apologizes. But she said, like, within. Like, the conversation quickly turned into flirting and dirty talk.

Oh, my God. Right now, The Facebook conversation?

Yeah.

What an idiot. Christ, people. Then it got into phone Public knowledge.

Yeah. Then I got into phone stuff and all that kind of stuff. I'm like, what is he doing all day? He's.

I don't understand.

How do you even have time to do all this?

I know. Who has time for phone. I mean, seriously. Well, that's the thing. I think it's like. It's like a compulsive thing four times a day. I know. That's a lot of ejaculation.

I'm like, that's a lot of time.

I know, I know. I don't have time either. He's running for mayor. Like, I don't understand it either because they're the busiest people in the whole world when they're running for mayor. So I don't even understand. But that is crazy. Okay, so. And then what else is happening in the news? We used to do our sex in the news segment, but I don't know anything else. That's like, the biggest thing is wieners. Wiener. And then. Yeah, I just read today that, that, that, that. That teen mod. This is so bad. I don't want to perpetuate it. But that Farrah who did the sex tape that she's making so much money on. Her sex tape. That's just perpetuating. All these girls are gonna go out, make sex tapes now. Please don't do that. People, if you're listening, don't do it just because Menace does it. But he doesn't release them, at least.

I heard the guy. The guy in that tape, though, is, like, super popular now.

Oh, my God.

Everybody wants to meet him.

I'm sure he is. This is the worst.

Everybody wants to meet him.

Oh, honey, you know what I wanted to tell you? Speaking of reality shows, I'm gonna be on the Kris Jenner show in a few weeks.

Oh, my God. Can I please be in the audience?

Yeah. Do you want to come as my guest?

Yes, please.

Okay. It's the.

I'm not. I'm not joking. You know how much I love Kris Jenner.

I know, I know. Kris Jenner's the Kardashian mom. If you don't watch television and you're living on your rock.

I want her to be my manager.

I know. Me too, dude, I so want to manage. That's the thing. It's the family. Family does you right if they're your manager, I've just got some manager who I never talk to. So I'm gonna be on the show, and I'm gonna be releasing my new product line that's coming out, which is called Emily and Tony. And I'm gonna be giving everyone a candle in the audience. My massage candles. So it's gonna be really cool.

Oh, that's awesome.

I know. I'm really excited.

What is this? What is this? I swear to God, I want to go.

Oh, okay.

I'm not playing.

Okay. Well, this is so funny. It's, like offline now. We're recording it on Monday, the 20th of August. I think it's the 19th or the 20th. Yeah. Come. Seriously, you probably in town anyway, not going to call me, but now you could stay anyway for a longer day and then come, because Menace loves hanging out with me. For reals. And I've got a new. I'm in West Hollywood now. I moved to West Hollywood.

Sweet. Yeah, I know it's your, like, 20th time moving.

I know. I've moved so much. I'm sitting on boxes right now in my bedroom with clothes everywhere and sex toys. Like, Menace, I have a problem. Like, I have so many sex toys because people, as you know, we've talked about this, but people send them to me, and I don't know. And so now I'm Just giving them away. Like, I'm having friends come over. I'm giving them away. I should give them away to listeners. If you want some sex toys, email me. Here we go. We're going to get millions of emails, but feedback. Com. We do contests all the time on Twitter, which is sex with Emily. But I feel like it's part of my job. So when I moved from San Francisco, I got rid of all my furniture, all my stuff. But what I do have is a storage unit filled with sex toys, which I emptied into my new house. And I have all my sex books. Like, that's what I preserve. The closest things to my heart. And I don't know what that says about me. And I don't even use them. They're not even opened. I mean, I use some sex toys, but. Okay, so I. This week I also Menace did something. I went bowling with a hundred porn stars. There's a special event called, like bowling with porn stars in the Valley, of course. And I was not the cutest one there at all. There was all these porn stars and it was funny. I've got all these funny pictures. But I went with crazy girl, you know, Crazy girl. They make the amazing shave creams and they make this orgasm gel that you literally. So if you have a partner or a woman is listening right now and you can't have an orgasm like you. It's hard for you to have an orgasm. You can rub this orgasm gel on your clitoris and I'm not kidding you, it totally enhances your sexual experience. It, like blood runs. It makes the blood, like, rush to your clitoris and it feels amazing. But they've all these really cool, like, shaving creams for your private parts so you don't get bumps and pleasure gels and all that stuff. So check out, go to crazygirlproducts.com use coupon code EMILY25. And you get 25% off any of their products. And they've got like a kazillion. And I got a video coming soon because I went to their offices and they gave me more sex toys and more products, but they're really cool. So we did a fun video of all their really unique offerings and stuff like that. Okay, we can get into some emails now from the peeps, unless you have anything else to share with me, which I'd love to hear.

Oh, wait, there was something I was going to share. I'll bring it back up.

Bring it back, bring it back. Okay. Okay. And again. What? Go.

It's crazy that you're Moving so much.

In Los Angeles, dude, I know. Everyone thinks. Everyone thinks I have commit. Well, okay. I've been known to have commitment, challenges, but my friend is like, give up your. I've moved three times in three. I've moved and lived in two other places for three months each, and now I'm in another place. But I could actually live for longer. But it is crazy to have moved that many times. But I also feel like it's a big city. I don't know where I want to live yet. I was at the beach, now I'm in the city. I don't know. We'll figure it out. It's funny, but you got to come see the place. Okay? So thanks everyone for emailing me feedbackuckswithelmi.com follow me on Twitter as well. Sex with Emily and Facebook. Like my page? Because our Facebook page is awesome. We have great tips, funny posts, funny things you might want to share. So check that out. And Menace. Where can everyone find your ass around these towns, around these parts? Your Menace.

Yes.

Okay. Okay. Hey, Emily. What's up, Menace? Great show. I listen to most episodes while at work. My question is, when a female says she likes to be manhandled in bed, what does that exactly mean? I know it means being rough, but maybe you could give some examples. Thanks. And keep up with a great show. Edge. Okay, Ed, here's the deal. That probably means she wants to feel dominated, which is really hot. There's a lot of women who, you know, like to be dominated. Look at the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon. That's about a woman being dominated. And, you know, there are men that like to be dominated, but women sometimes just kind of like a little, you know, a little something something. So some suggestions are if you're doing it doggy style, you know, you're having sex with her from behind. You can lightly pull on her hair a little bit and her. So her chin tilts back, and then she'll get a glance of you doing her from behind, and that could really turn her on. So tugging hair can get her to arch your back, and that could create really cool sensations for you both. So I always say start with a little light hair pulling. And I mean light. I mean, like, you probably. You're a dude, you might be stronger than her. Don't yank her head back, but lightly do it. And it's hot, like menace. You've done the hair pull, right?

Yeah.

What do you think? Do you feel like most women? I shouldn't say most. It's so hard on A sex show. Because like, not everything's for everyone. But seriously, like a lot of women, if she's telling you that she wants to be dominated, she wants to be hand manhandled. I'd say start with the hair pulling.

Yeah, I say 80% of women would like it.

It's true. I think so too. Everyone I've heard of likes it. Also, biting can be fun. And by biting, I mean nibbling. Like nibble on her lips while you're kissing and just gauge her reaction. So when you're, like, making out, you can do a little lower lip nibble. And that's kind of a good litmus test to see if she's into it. And then you could also kind of nibble on her neck, her butt, her inner thighs. But don't give her hickeys. Cause that is not hot. But just a little, you know, a little nibbling. Do you do the nibbling menace?

Oh, yeah, all the time.

You're a nibbler. See?

God, this is how we gotta nibble.

You gotta nibble, but not too hard. But she might like it hard. So here's the thing. I'm telling you. The hair pulling. When you pull her hair and you tug at it gently. Oh, my God, this is such a great suggestion. Cause a lot of guys don't think about that or think it's wrong. Just do it gently. Now if you. Then you can ask her, how did that feel? And then you could do a little harder. Same with the nibbling. If she likes the nibbling, you can try to bite her a little. You know, nibble a little harder and see how it goes. But always start five times lighter than you think you should. So here's another thing about manhandling. You can also make such sex a little rougher if you hold on her wrists so she can't move her arms. Like, I think that's hot. When guys do that when we're having sex and they, like, hold my hands above my head. Again, a lot of women might have some issues with it if they, you know, don't. They're not into being restrained. It could scare them. But I think if you do it playfully with one hand and, you know, just intimating that she can't move her arms. Obviously if she wants to move her arms, she can, but you put them over her head and she'll be momentarily denied the pleasure of touching you. And she'll feel like she's being dominated. So this can be great when you're holding her down or against a wall. I mean, that Is hot. Push her against the wall and hold her arms against her head.

That's a hot move, don't you think?

It is pretty hot.

I know now, like, I love when a guy, like, you know, they throw you against the wall or they throw you down on the bed. And it doesn't have to be too hard. It can just be like a light push down on the bed. Like, I think that's just like, push me down and hold my hands up. I think that's a good, good manhandling 101. And then after these tips, you might want to graduate to some bondage. I'm so into bondage. You know, bondage. Not personally. I love talking about bondage, and I do like a little light bondage, But I'd say stick with butt slapping, biting, pulling, and holding. So there you go, Ed. I think those are some good tips for you. And you will rock her world, especially because she asked for it. This is what I love. I love when people are with women who are just like, hey, this is what I want. I want to be a little more manhandled. I want to be a little more dominated. Don't you just want women to tell you what the hell they want in bed?

Yes. Please be more vocal.

Be more vocal. Tell your partner. Because let me tell you this. What the hell are you waiting for? Seriously, like, if you're sitting there with your partner, man or woman or woman, woman, man, man, whoever you're with, I don't care who you sleep with. And you're thinking, God, I really wish he would just pull my hair, or, I really wish he would spank me, or, I really wish he would perform oral sex on me more. And you keep waiting for them to figure it out. Figure it out. It's not going to happen. Like, it's not like one day a light bulb is going to go over their head and they're going to know exactly what you desire. So you need to look at your relationship and figure out why you're not talking about it. Why aren't you talking to your partner about it? Like, I think, you know, there's, like, the old stigma that women think they're going to be slutty or men think that, you know, whatever. She's going to be turned off by whatever he wants. But there's ways to, like, playfully. And I'm going to get into this a second, though. There's ways to playfully talk to your partner about it. So it's not so, like, if that's intimidating to you to bring up sex I'm going to give you some tips in a little bit that help you ease into the conversation, but I just think that you're wasting your life not having the sex life that you deserve. That's what I'm going to say. And that pisses me off. That's a sad life. Very sad.

Okay, I. I know what I wanted to tell you. I'm apologizing.

Oh, good. Tell me.

It just got released the other day. There's this video. I think it's on Gawker, or you can just look it up on YouTube. They. They did a test of.

They put a woman out on the street, and they also put a man out on the street, and a woman went up to every single guy that she. She saw and said, can we go have sex right now? Let's. Let's do it. I'm. I'm dead serious. And what do you think is the percentage of guys that said they'll do it?

Just a random chick on the street.

Just a random chick that just went up to you and they didn't know.

That she was being. Was she being filmed or was she just.

They didn't know they were being filmed.

I think 70% of men said yes. I don't know what was.

Was 50% of Ben, but, you know, I bet, like, the other 50 were just like, oh, this is set up. There's something going on. I'm going to, you know, get robbed or something.

Exactly. That's what most men would think because they'd be like, oh, my God, this is my number one fantasy. But it can't really be happening right now that some cute chick wants to have sex with me. That is.

This is not real.

I know.

I mean, and then what do you think the percentage of women.

Oh, that said yes.

Oh, my God, like, none. None. 5% for 3,00. Women are not going to be like, oh, hey, stranger. Yeah, let's go bone in your. Because, you know, why? Not just because women are more timid or scared. It's because women need to be. Need foreplay in the sense of not touching her breast, but she needs to be wooed. She needs to be turned on. If a guy's like, let's go bone right now. Unless she just came back from, you know, masturbating or having sex, she's not turned on. Guys can, like, zero to 60. They're like, yeah, let's go bang. You know, wait a minute. If a guy just said to me, hey, let's go have sex, I would feel like, at least tell Me, I'm hot. And then maybe I'll go suck your penis or something, but, you know, Jesus, just don't ask me like that, okay? Dear Emily, first things first. I love your show. Listening to your podcast has definitely made my sex life more exciting and fun. Here's my question. I have this Friends with Privileges that is super hot and really fun in bed. Could you please give me a few pointers on what I can do to get a little more action from this gorgeous woman? I would like these encounters to occur more, more frequently. Thanks, Emily. Menace sign, Tom. P.S. been using the Kegel Camp app for a couple weeks and I like it. Awesome. I have an iPhone app called Kegel Camp. It's for men and women. It will improve your sex life and you should download it now for itunes for your iPhone. Okay, so this is interesting. I like Friends with Privileges. It's like a friends with benefits situation. So, okay, here's where we talk about the partner. This is where I'm going to teach you some tips about talking to your partner about sex. So I always say, the first thing I say is, you know, ask her what her fantasies are. I think that could be difficult for some people if you've never talked about sex before with this person. I think again, women think, oh, he's going to judge me. I don't really want my fantasies to come true. I just like to think about them when I'm masturbating. But if she does, this is a great. She might say, you know, she might tell you, and then you tell her about one of her fantasies. You might tell about one of your fantasies. But another way to do it is if you're with someone that you're kind of hesitant talking about sex? Because think about it, man, if you're with someone for a while, like, don't you think it can be hard even if you're to them for a while or a few months, it's hard to talk about sometimes initially, just to be like, so what'd you think of that oral sex last night? Right. I mean, you just don't. You think with some women it can be difficult Amazon to talk about sex?

Yeah. You don't want to talk about it.

No, I know. Because people think it should just be perfect and it should be what you want and sex should be something you talk about. But I'm here to call your bullshit. But so you can also say to her, what's your favorite sex scene in a movie? Like, what's the sex? Do you remember the first time you saw a Sex scene in a movie. What was it about? Who is your high school fantasy? What or what do you, like, you know, when we're having sex, like, what's your, you know, what's your favorite position? And just start having a conversation about sex. Because some. Again, some people don't have fantasies. Some women don't want to share it. You could also play like, you know, truth or dare. You could share some stories about your, you know, when was the first time she masturbated? Or how often do you masturbate? I mean, if you're having sex with someone. I honestly don't think these things are off limits. I feel like, you know, that most people, I find, want to talk about it anyway, and if they don't, I mean, I don't understand why if you're having sex with someone, it's like, you have a job and you never want to go for. In for a performance review. It's like, why would you work with someone for years and never have a performance review? You want to know from your boss or whoever what you can do better. Just like sex, don't we. Don't you want to know how it can be better for the person? I just think we all settle into these. These sexual situations in a relationship where we do have sex the same way all the time, and we're never like, hey, how do I make this better? So how would you do it, Menace? How would you bring up sex if you ever did that?

Maybe you do.

How would I do it? Yeah, I would first ask a lady if she would like a martini or something like that.

You'd ask her if she wants. If she wants a martini, Menace.

A martini, right? You know, and I would probably, you know, make. Make it fun. Not too serious, right? Don't be like, super serious.

Don't be like, hey, we need to talk about sex, you know? Yeah.

You don't want to be uncomfortable at all about it. Guys are just gonna start being really quiet if. If it gets too, too, too serious.

Don't make it serious. In fact, all these conversations should be light and fun and playful. I mean, they should just be like, hey, so how'd you like that, you know, striptease I did for you or whatever? I mean, just. I don't know. I just think that, like, again, just do one thing. Have one conversation with your partner, however you want to start it, but start doing that now. It's not just for our friend Tom here. Okay? Hi, Emily. My girlfriend only seems to have an orgasm with a vibrator. I've never had this happen before. Is there anything that can be done? What am I doing wrong? I've only been with four women in my life. And in most cases I can give them at least two orgasms each time. Is there anything I can do? Thanks, Peter. Okay, Peter, first of all, you've only been with four women and they each have orgasms twice. I'm sure they've sort of faked it. I don't mean to be. I'm sure you're mad and have mad skills in bed, but the likelihood of that is not great.

But that's not the point of your question. So you are doing nothing? I just am always amazed when I'm like four women and they each had two orgasms each time. Most people I know are lucky if they can have one orgasm each time. But I don't want to insult you, Peter, because maybe you just. Again, you're the master. Okay, so you're doing nothing wrong, Peter. Here's the thing. She just needs extra stimulation from a vibrator to have an orgasm. Some women just need a hell of a lot of clitoral stimulation. So there's nothing that you can do for these women. I mean, you could try touching her clitoris yourself. You could perform oral sex on her for a while before you have sex. But it just seems to me like she. Again, I don't know how she's orgasming it vaginally or clitorally. But if I look at most women and the studies and everything, that shows that they need more clitoral stimulation. So here's the thing. If you aren't having sex, if you haven't used a vibrator with her during sex, try it. Women just need the clear clitoral stimulation. And so here's my favorite sex vibrator, which is so funny because I. Again, I have. I'm probably bordering on about 800 vibrators. Not that I've used. But my favorite still for the last year, year and a half has been the Jeju Mimi. It's J E J O U E. And it's the Mimi M I M I. And it's my favorite one to use during intercourse because it fits in the palm of your hand. It looks like a pebble. Okay? It looks like. I mean, it's bigger than a pebble. It looks like a stone. Like those. Like a smooth stone. But it's, you know, it's a vibrator. But that's like the shape of it. So the point is, it fits in your hand. It's so Discreet. It doesn't look like a vibrator at all. It's quiet. It has really strong vibrations. And it works for me every time. And a lot of people that I've told about it, it works. And the best part is that no one even knows the vibrator. So I had it when I was in Michigan, and it was sitting on my desk. My mom's like, what's this? And I was like, oh, it's just. Well, I told my mother it was a vibrator, but you can't tell. Like, it looks. It's just. And it's really lightweight and it's really cool. And of course, I didn't vibrate when I was in Michigan because that'd be weird. I didn't actually know I had it with me because I. I don't know. I never. I never masturbate when I'm visiting my family. Anyway, the point is never, never, never. No, it's too small. It's too. Whatever. My mom's gonna walk in. She's always walking in to talk to me every 10 minutes.

Yeah.

But I have my JJU wherever I go. Go to good vibes.com, that's goodvibes.com. use coupon code GVMILY20. And you get 20% off orders of $100 or more. And they have amazing products at Good Vibes, so you know how much I love Good Vibrations, but I'm obsessed with the Gigi Mimi. Like, I don't even have another suggestion for you all now. Like, I just say, go buy that and call it a day. That's what make you feel really good, Peter. And you still notice having had sex with someone using a vibrator, or has that changed?

What?

No.

Never.

Never.

Okay, okay, fine. You're just. With all these women who have massive orgasms all the time. Is that the truth? Yeah. Okay, so I've got a final email here. Emily, I'm 18 and just started to have sex. I've been masturbating for 4ish years. And when I masturbate, I last like 45 minutes. But when I have sex, I last like 1.5 hours. And it's starting to make my girlfriend feel inadequate. Any advice and how it can last a bit less? Thanks, Anonymous. So this is called. We talked earlier about premature ejaculation. This is actually called delayed ejaculation. And delayed ejaculation happens. It's common. This is more common than you think. And there's a lot of guys that just. They last longer. And your girlfriend Just reassure her that this is how it happens for you and she's not doing anything wrong. Make sure that you please her beforehand. You could perform oral sex on her, or maybe she is able to orgasm during intercourse, which 35% of women can. I would also want to know what is your most ejaculatory position. So for a lot of guys, it's doggy style or the missionary position. So you'll probably last longer than you want in positions like women on top. A lot of guys can't orgasm when women are on top that much. And also, the more foreplay you have, the more quickly you will orgasm. You can also spend more time exploring each other's bodies before sex. So give each other little oral sex beforehand. There's nothing wrong with having sex until she orgasms, and then you can have your orgasm another way. So if she's getting tired during sex, because an hour and a half is a long time, I mean, sometimes that's really fun. But an hour and a half, I mean, there's so much to do. My cycling on my to do list would be going through my head. You know what I'm saying? Every time. If it was an hour and a half. I was with a guy like that once a few years ago, and I dated him for a few months, and it is a little like, oh, here we go. We're gonna be here for six hours because he's not gonna have an orgasm. But I really don't know. And he's been that way his whole life. So I just like, I don't have, like, a quick fix for you. I don't think there's anything that you can do except for try to accommodate around the situation and make sure that she's happy, that she's pleased. And you know what, if she's getting tired or sore after having sex that long, you might just not have to have your orgasm. You're gonna have to wait and have it the next day. So. But again, try those suggestions of going into your go to position. You have a go to position, right, Menace?

Yeah, it's the frog.

What's the frog?

Fly. I'm just kidding.

You don't have one. Like, what about from behind? Don't you have a position that you're like, oh, now I'm gonna come really quickly?

Yeah, I mean, you go, you go. I don't know. It's that. That I want to. It's usually just missionary. Every other one I can last longer.

But missionary, you know, you just, you know, do the jackrabbit. And you're done.

Right? Exactly. Exactly. The friggin Jackrabbit. Don't do that often, people. The Jackrabbit is one of the biggest. Oh, go to my website, speaking of not doing the Jackrabbit, and put in your email address. I won't spam you, but you will receive a report called the five biggest mistakes Men are Making in bed or the five Biggest Mistakes Women are making in Bed. It'll take you like a half hour after you put your email address in to receive it, but because that's something wrong with the. Not wrong, but whatever the server we use, it takes a half hour, but you will get it and it's amazing and it will help you because maybe you're doing one of the things in bed that just you maybe shouldn't be doing anymore, like the jackhammer, which, by the way, I'm not saying you should never do the jackhammer, but if the jackhammer is your go to move and your only move, then we need to talk.

Okay, Menace, that's what we got time for today. Anything else that you'd like to share with me? Do you really want to come with me and be on television?

No. I mean, I don't. I don't want to be on tv.

Not in the audience.

I just want to go. Yeah, just be in the audience or just, you know, just hang out with you while you do your thing.

I'm.

I'm excited. I really want to do it.

Okay. I swear, Don, I just want you.

If I can get an invite, I'll be there.

Okay? I just want you to. I want you to come. I want you to come visit. And then what else? Yes, tell me.

Download Stitcher to listen to this show. It's a free app for your. For your smartphone. It's available on your iPhone and your Android, your tablet. You can even listen online on a desktop if you want to. But it. The. It's the best way if you want to listen in your car also. So download Stitcher. It's totally free. That's where I'm recording in San Francisco. S T I T C H E R I love Stitcher.

I love it because you can listen to any podcast, not just ours, but if you like podcasts, you can instantly access it and listen to it on your phone or in your car. And it's awesome. We love Stitcher.

You can. You can just type in sex and automatically it'll be the first show.

I'll be the first. Because we are the first. We're the only sex podcast that matters. Anyway, so we've been doing this a long time. We know we're talking about. I am a doctor now, so, you know, I've got my doctor sex.

Oh, you got to change everything.

I know it's on the list of things to do, but also, I want to say that I have a book called hot sex. Over 200 things you could try tonight. It's amazing. It has beautiful illustrations. You can leave it on your coffee table if you don't have children around. And it's actually an amazingly beautiful book. I've got my iPhone, app, Kegel Camp, and my other app, Sex Drive. They will improve your sex life. So just download those apps today and check out, you know, check out Sex Family. Check out our website and email me feedbackexthemily.com and you can find Menace. Oh, and he's on Instagram. You love your Instagram Menace. M E N A C E. Yeah, Menace.

Menace is my favorite. I'm gonna be in Chicago this weekend, so check out all my backstage photos from Volapalooza. If you're into music, you love Chicago women. Yeah, they're awesome. I know Chicago people in general are just really cool.

They are really cool. I love. I do love Chicago. All my Midwestern peeps. Okay, well, have a great time, Ennis. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And thanks, everyone, for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com this episode is brought to you by one of our amazing sponsors, Masque Sexual Flavor Strips. They enhance your sexual experiences with a taste of strawberry, mango, watermelon, or chocolate. It's kind of like a Listerine strip, but for sex. So if you like sex and you want to make it even more enjoyable and you like hearing sex with, um, for free, check out mask@sexualflavors.com I promise your sex life will improve.

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