SWE: Spicy Vanilla Sex

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. That feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you can listen to all of our shows. You can actually watch the shows and your sex life will improve. That's what happens with sex. Dramatically, dramatically improve. Because if you listen to our show and we were all about putting better sex on the planet, making sure that everyone has better sex. I'm just saying, you go there, you check it out. That's what will happen. So happy Friday everyone.

What's going on?

Thank God it's Friday. Today's show is about if you're in a vanilla sex. You know vanilla sex is menace. People who have sort of mainstream sex.

Yeah they just pretty common. Missionary.

Missionary. We've got some alternatives for people who are just want to spice up their sex life. And we also have to talk about 420 because today is 4:20.

I know it's a big holiday here where we're from, where we're from but.

That is the day that a lot of people smoke marijuana at 4:20 on 4:20. And it was initially they said it was named after the law, the legislation that made it illegal to smoke pot but really I heard it was about some group of guys who years ago every day met at 4:20 and smoked pot. But I don't know what it's about but everyone I remember when I was in college it was a big deal for 20.

Yeah, it still is a big deal.

Is a big deal. So yeah, happy 420. We're going to talk about sex and drugs. Good, the goods and the bads. And today's show is brought to you by Hot Rocks. Hot Rocks. Rocks R A W K S Hot Rocks and Hot rocks dot com. It's an organic certified aphrodisiac for both men and women. And I've been taking it for about seven weeks now and I feel amazing. It gives you more energy, stronger orgasms, natural self generating lubrication. It helps men too with more stamina, hard erections, more intense orgasm. The pills take a few weeks. At first I was like really like it's not kicking in. But then all of a sudden it kicks in and it feels amazing. And They've got a 30 day money back guarantee. And if you've been wanting to increase your libido, improve your sex life you should totally go to hotrocks.com that's hotrocks R A W K S and you love it.

How long have you been taking it?

I've been taking it for about seven weeks now. Consistently. Do I seem hornier?

Oh, extremely horny.

Don't I?

You humped my leg when you walked in.

I did hump your leg. Did you care? Did you mind?

It was okay.

Speaking of humping legs, my dog, not that she humps my leg but she has in the past. She friggin is ruining my life right now.

What?

No.

I know you're shocked but she.

How am I shocked? I'm not shocked.

I know I'm kidding. She's got like some kind of bladder infection, we think. Either that or she hates me. But I came home the other day and she peed on my bed. The middle of my bed. I walked in, I had to get the friggin comforter dry cleaned.

But then the next day I came home and she peed on the middle of my couch. It's so not funny. I just got my couch fucking professionally clean for 140 bucks. Like I'm pissed. The baby daddy took her for a few days. You don't love it. You don't love it. You don't want me to suffer.

Not that you're. I already warned you from the get go before you even got the dog.

It's the hardest dog in the world.

Not to get the dog.

Like people with children. My hats go off do because I know that's harder. Most people can handle a dog and children. It's been harder for me.

Do not get the dog. That's what I said for a month before you got the dog. Oh no, it's gonna be great.

Here's the issue is that I can't get rid of her now because I actually love her. But I feel like she's kind of ruining my life.

Yeah, she is ruining your life.

So anyway, and last night, Kelsey and I, my sister, we went to this. It was called FIA Love 3.0, the Future of Sex and Dating and Love online. And it was like this big conference at the Fairmont Hotel and we had a little booth sex with Emily booth set up. And lots of people came by and we're trying to find them out at the Brand. And we talked about the Bravo show and we talked. We gave out little condoms with my picture on it and sex family logo.

Really?

Yeah.

And then call for a good time people.

People like what? Yeah, it says cough for a good time. Exactly. People are like, can we have sex? Which you know, is everyone's favorite joke.

Yeah.

And then there was like people who were like telling us their stories and like their sex lives. Like Kelsey got like sequestered by a guy who was like, I've never had sex, what should I do?

Wow.

It was like a sex with Kelsey moment. I. I heard it, but I like distance myself.

Maybe that could be a line though.

No, he. You could tell he's never had sex.

Oh really? Just by luck. It's funny because my assistant always goes, did you. Do you have sex with Emily today?

She did. That's funny.

No, she. Yeah, she does that all the time. Or did you have sex with Emily yesterday. It's so funny that, you know, I.

Know there's such play. You can play on the words. And people kept coming out to Booth going, oh, I'd like to try out the demo of Sex with Emily. That's really funny. But it was a good. It was a good. I'm trying to get out there more and do more marketing and more events and stuff. Looks good. Like we did at Treasure Island. How fun was that, Booth?

That was hilarious.

What are you up to this weekend? Not going to Coachella. Besides not going to Coachella.

Not going to Coachella again. But you know what? It's really one of my most free weekends ever had in the past couple months, so I'm kind of just leaving it open, seeing what's gonna happen. Wow. I have some friends that are partying down in Santa Cruz. Maybe we'll go down in Santa Cruz.

Gonna be beautiful here.

Yeah. Maybe I'll visit my old hometown. A lot of my buddies want to get together and go to the old bar that we used to hang out at and.

Sounds fun.

Maybe do that. Why?

I don't know.

Sorry. Just because you're from Michigan and you hate it.

I don't hate Michigan.

I like where I'm from, so I like going there.

Okay, that's fine. What else are you gonna do? What else is new? I haven't seen you in a few days.

Nothing, really. Just, you know, working like crazy. There's a big summer concert that my work is putting on, so I will.

Be.

Working on that for a couple months.

Okay, that sounds fun.

It's over, like, 40 bands. It's amazing. It's here in the Bay Area and at a venue, like, 22,000 people. And I help in coordinating it. Yeah, it's.

Should we go?

You should totally go.

You'd have free, right?

Fun. Yeah. I'll get you tickets.

See, it's free. And that's the only one you're gonna get me tickets to because it's free, which hurts.

Oh, I. Do you think I ever pay for. I mean, I'm very blessed. I don't want to brag or anything, but I don't pay for tickets for any shows.

Yeah, but isn't it a free concert?

No, it's not always free.

I thought you were saying it's free and you'll get me a ticket. And I was like, thanks for nothing.

No, it's very expensive.

Ooh, Menace is gonna finally get me a ticket, and it's free.

No.

Okay, forget it. I'm trying to think. What else? Nothing else. I hope to have sex this weekend.

And you're not going to go wine tasting or.

No, but I am going wine tasting with my mom.

And a restaurant opening.

No, no restaurant openings, no wine tasting. But I want to go to Dolores park and just drink on the weekend. Oh, yeah. It's going to be really beautiful and sunny.

Yeah, I'm sure it'll be packed, packed, packed and fun. If people don't know because we have listeners. We're on XM Radio right now.

We're on XM Radio.

There's a famous park in San Francisco that just gather and just sit in the park and get wasted and smoke weed. I'm sure today at 4:20 it was just a cloud of smoke that you could see. Like fog. You can see.

Exactly, exactly. It must have been crazy. But we miss that because we're hard workers.

Yes.

Okay. I've got some sex in the news for us.

Go for it.

You'll like this one. Because I know that you have theories about women who have piercings and tattoos.

Not piercings, just tattoos, tattoos, smoking and drinking. Three trifecta.

Okay, so from the University of Concerned Moms, young adults with piercings and tattoos are heavy drinkers. Yes, I know. See, in findings that vindicate parents everywhere who don't like your new friends, a study in France has suggested that those with tattoos and piercings do indeed drink more alcohol. A study involved nearly 3,000 young adults with an average age of 20 found a strong link between binge drinking and body art. Researchers found that women with both tattoos and piercings consumed twice the amount of alcohol than women who had neither. And men with tattoos and piercings drank 44% more than men who had eaten. What does that mean? You get drunk and get tattoos? It means you're mad.

No, I mean, my theory doesn't really go with this.

My theory is tramp stamps. Means she's a tramp.

No, no, not that at all. It's. If she's heavily tattooed, you're gonna sleep with her right away. If she's a drinker, you're gonna sleep with her right away. And if she's a smoker, you're gonna sleep with her right away. And if she has all three, you might get laid that night. That's awful. I'm sorry. It's just. It's science. It's, you know, it's been proven, right? And girls are gonna be like, oh, I'm not a slut. I have tattoos. Yeah, that's great. But you probably would probably Sleep with a guy faster than a girl that didn't have any tattoos because it means.

That you're more out there. More.

Yeah, I'm saying that you're more fun.

Yeah, you're more fun.

You celebrate it.

I love it. I never got a tattoo, though. But I've thought about it, but I was never inspired by any one thing.

I never met a girl that has tattoos that is super conservative. Conservative and, you know, wants to wait till marriage.

Yeah, no, me neither. Haven't found that girl either. And most of my friends have tattoos. Cause I'm, like, the only one who.

So your friends are a bunch of whores.

Yeah. Okay. Proms now cost an average of $1,100.

Yeah, they cost bank, man.

After a thousand telephone interviews conducted at the end of last month, it was found that the average American family with high schoolers is now spending over $1,000 on proms. The Northeast and the south are especially bad, dropping to heat between 1000 and 2000. While Western and Midwestern families much more modestly spending 750 on their little princes and princesses. Families in lower income brackets between 2020 and $29,000 are spending twice the national average, over 2,600. Wow.

Well, the limo takes up half. More than half of that $1,000. It costs a lot of money.

It's a lot of money. Yeah.

I was actually. Actually helping out somebody with a prom situation.

Really?

My buddy. Yeah, he. He has a niece that didn't turn in her money enough time to be able to go to prom, so now she can't even go.

Wow.

My buddy feels bad, so he's, like, gonna rent her a limo. And he's like, well, what should we do? They're only 17, some stuff in the city. So I made some calls, and I'm actually gonna. I called up my buddy at Pixar and they're gonna. He's gonna give them their own theater at Pixar to watch their favorite movie.

Oh, that's nice.

And then they're gonna come to city and.

Oh, you're sweet. That's good. She didn't pay her money time.

Yeah. So then the school said, you can't go, which I think is ridiculous.

Me, too. It's high school. It's prom.

Yeah.

I told my buddy. I was like, look, you know, I work for a broadcasting company. Let me call up the news and give the school some crap about it.

Yeah.

And he's like, nah, he just wants to try to do a special day for herself.

Well, that's cool.

I'M helping coordinate that day.

That's a very nice thing to do. I do what I can. Cause I knew you when I was going to prom. My prom. I went to a bunch of proms, but they were never prom.

How many did you go to? 4. I went to 4 also. I got invited to 7. Only went to 4.

Wow. You're such a stud.

No.

Were you. Did you feel like a stud?

Didn't feel like a stud.

But you were a stud. Were you voted, like, most studly?

No. No. Not at all. I was kind of just. I was in high school. I wasn't a total nerd, but I wasn't, like, super popular. I was just kind of the guy that was cool with everybody.

Right. You know, like you are now.

Yeah. Didn't have beef with anybody.

Right. You're like a nerd, but not super popular. Right. Whoa.

A nerd. No. And then. So, yeah, so I got invited to a lot of problems, and I had a lot of fun. A lot of people say, oh, problems are terrible. My first problem was you would think this is tacky and you would hate it. But I had a lot of fun because my dates weren't stuck up, and they're really cool.

Right.

So we all got together in our. In our tuxedos, and for dinner, we went to In N Out Burger because we love In N Out Burger. So we showed up in a limo to In N Out Burger in, like, some suburb. Yeah. Pulled right in the. Right in the front and got out. And we're sitting there in our, you know, suits and everything. Everybody was looking at us like we were crazy.

No, I went to Burger King. On prom.

No. After.

After?

Yeah.

Not for dinner, but I don't. I think their dinner was a. There was a dinner at the prom, and then we went afterwards to Burger King. So I'm not so much classier.

Yeah. Did you have sex?

No. This was my big issue, is that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had the whole story.

Oh, my God. My boyfriend. Okay. So I was going to prom with my boyfriend that I'd been dating for a few months. Did not have sex with him yet because I was a good girl. But I decided, it's prom night, we have a hotel room. Did you guys get hotel rooms and stuff?

We did, but we didn't stay the whole night. We had hotel rooms that we partied for a couple hours after.

Well, we got our own room that we were gonna like. So I'm like, this is the night we're gonna have sex. It's gonna happen. And Then he, the fricker fucker, didn't bring any condoms. And I was like, you didn't bring condoms? And I just thought, we're not having sex.

Well, what did. What was his response?

Okay, sorry. I think I was just kind of pissed. I don't. It was so long ago, but I just remember being like, you're an idiot. But I ended up dating him for two more years, and eventually we did have sex.

You love doing that, though.

What?

Dating idiots.

I do not. I'm not dating an idiot.

No, you just love dating people that you think are idiots, and then you just continue.

Dating them.

Yeah. I told you. I used to spend half my relationships trying to get out of them. And I think a lot of people can relate to that because when you're dating someone and you're in love with, it's hard to sometimes get out of a relationship because you, like, question it and talk to your friends. And I just feel like no one just, like, blanketly, like, just cuts off a relationship unless, like, something really bad happens, like someone cheats or whatever. But most relationships, you want to get out of them, but it takes you a little bit longer to get out of it. For me, it would take me a lot longer to get out of it. Not sure why that was my deal. Okay. That's all we got for sex in the news. Cool.

There's nothing else that's popped up lately?

Well, there's like, a lot of stuff.

I mean, I guess Mel Gibson had another blow up. I haven't even listened to that.

He did. What'd he do? Did he rant on the Jews again or whatever?

I don't know. But he called somebody and then they put the audio online, but he was using the C word.

Really?

That's all I know so far.

And then there's, like, a lot of couple stuff. What do you think about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? You like that?

Yeah, you know, whatever. I see both of them being incredibly hard to date, so.

I think that maybe they're a perfect match.

Maybe they are.

Yeah.

I read in US Magazine, it said that they were, so it's probably true. And then what other news did I hear about? I don't. I don't. I don't really haven't. There was nothing that great.

Nothing.

I read you the best stuff.

All right.

Unless there's anything that you read, I'm eating Twister Twizzlers in the middle of the show, which I shouldn't do, but they're. They're really good.

Yeah. Nothing's coming up lately that's big, you know, just some deaths, you know, Death. Dick Clark died.

I know. Dick Clark died yesterday.

The. The guy from the band. I never heard of the band.

Oh yeah, the band, the singer. Oh, he's old now probably.

Yeah, he died yesterday.

That's sad.

And nothing else, man.

Okay, not that interesting. Yeah, it's okay. We've got some emails from the peoples.

Go for it.

Okay, thanks everyone for emailing us. At feedbackextemily.com we try to get to most your emails. You can also do the Ask Emily right on the homepage there's. Check it out on sexthomy.com oh, can.

I ask you something real quick?

Please.

A little mini topic I'm gonna throw in there.

Do it.

And maybe I brought it up before and just not remembered.

I thought I was the one. Don't remember.

When a guy texts you and he puts a smiley face after.

Yeah.

How's that make you feel?

That is a good question. Emoticons. This is the emoticon show. We should do one of those. I feel fine. I feel like I have no issues with it. You think it says gay his smiley.

Face all the time? I don't say it's gay.

Every time he emails me there's a smiley face.

He's not as manly.

I mean every time he texts me smiley face.

He just types it hey, how you doing today? Smiley face. Oh, hope you're having a great day. Smiley face. I'll see you later tonight, 8:00pm Smiley face.

Well, I was dating a guy for a while who every time I texted him he would just text back smiley face. Because he's really busy and he's like had a really busy job and you just do smiley face and I'm like don't friggin send me another friggin smiley face because it, it's annoying, it doesn't say anything and it's showing that you're not really reading it and you're just sending smiley face. So that was annoying. But just like a regular text like hey baby, miss you think you're hot, love you, have a great day or thinking about you smiley face. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable.

Lol. Haha.

How do those make you feel?

My gay friend this morning texted me LOL and I didn't.

I'm talking about a guy dating straight guys that you're dating, okay?

Not my gay friends. Straight guys that I'm dating and they go lol. It's kind of a chick thing to get lol. Right?

Yeah, It's a little chickish.

Yeah. Why. Why do you ask did it come up?

I know, because I've been talking about this lately and, you know, I'm trying to refrain from lol. From lol.

It's done. LOL to me. Yeah, but I don't count.

Yeah, you don't count.

You're like, I don't care what I say to Emily.

Yeah. I just. I'm wondering what I should do if you should just. If I should cut out that lol.

But how do you. But how do you. There's so many things you want to be like, ha. Funny. Like you have to somehow.

How about I say that's hilarious.

Yeah, that's what I usually do. I'm like, that's so funny. I don't. I've never. I very rarely do lol. But I have a friend who has like lol Tourette's, and every time she writes me an email or text, every other word is lol. Lol. Lol. Have you ever. Do you have any friends like that?

No, I don't.

Right. So that's annoying that she always LOLs.

Yeah. But I'm talking about men. Men.

I think that men should refrain from the lol, from excessive use of LOL and excessive use of smiley faces. But it doesn't bother me if he's like a hot guy that I'm friends with or dating. I don't mind it.

I think haha is acceptable as a man.

Right.

But not just ha. Just ha. You shouldn't use that.

Ha. What? Okay. Yeah.

No, no.

Who does that anyway?

Guys. Guys do that.

Aj.

Yeah.

Ha. You're right. They do. They do. They do.

I know the worst. I had to tell my buddy. I'm like, why the f. Are you texting me? This is. He put hehe.

He is like a little girl giggling.

Yeah, you can't put he as a man. You can't put he.

Is he gay?

He's not gay. He said he has a wife and baby.

I pictured him in the corner going, he.

He.

He.

Yeah, no, guys don't do that. No, he. He's.

No, he. He's for sure. Like, he. He's Are out. What else is out?

Omg. What about omg?

Oh, no, wait. Well, if you're expressing not in a text.

Omg, where else do you do it?

I did OMG last week. Oh my God. When I was talking about the. About the TV show they're gonna be on, I said, oh my God, I can finally talk about this.

Right? I Think you should say omg.

Yeah. Okay, so omg.

Yeah, that's fine.

But you know.

Oh yeah, we're doing a TV show if you haven't heard yet. Did we talk about it last week?

We talked about it a little bit today.

Well, Bravo. No, we don't. Not specifics.

Okay.

We're gonna be on Bravo television. We have a reality show coming out this summer. It's called Misadvised. You should check it out. It's gonna be really fun. Friggin funny.

This can be hilarious. If they leave a lot of stuff in there.

If they leave a lot of stuff in there or they don't edit it to make me look like a fool. But we don't know the verdict is still out. Okay, Emails.

All right.

Emily. I recently got out of a relationship. My ex girlfriend is a lesbian and I'm a straight man. I don't know how but we. I don't know how, but we just happened. She said she saw something different in me. Well, after dating a couple months, she got into a situation where she needed to leave town and go live at her mom's. I probably saw her twice a month. Well, one weekend I was supposed to pick her up to stay with me, but her plans were canceled as she decided to hang out with an old girl instead. With a girl. Hang out with a girl instead. This had happened several times when she would just cancel plans last second. We are split up now and my question is, should I still be trying to win her back or let her go? Please help. Dan from Hutchington, Kansas. Dan.

Quick answer, simple answer. No, you should not keep trying. She's a lesbian. She's told you plain and clear she's book planted you on several occasions. And yes, she probably still likes the attention from you and she probably still really, really likes you. But it sounds to me like she's a lesbian and that's her preference right now. So I would just stop barking up that lesbian tree and try to find someone new right now. I don't think you should go after her. You're not gonna change her unless you.

Just hook up with her.

Unless you're cool that she's dating other women. I don't think she's gonna be exclusive with you if she's gon down with babes.

Yeah, the luckiest thing you could ever do is maybe have sex with a lesbian. That's it. I mean, once they're lesbian, very hard to turn them over.

I don't understand. I think it'd be so hard to live without A penis.

Yeah, but they got.

They got exactly.

So, yeah, I would say you should let her go and start working on dating women who are straight. That's my advice.

Hey, Emily. Pinch my finger on the headphones.

Hey, Emily, I just want to let you know that you can add another country to the list where you have listeners of your podcast. I also wanted to ask you if you ever give away vibrators. I've heard you mention on the show that your bedroom is filled with vibrators, that you test my friends with benefits. And I have been wanting to try a vibrator both on her and on me. I'm curious to know what it feels like to have a vibrator up my butt. Let me know if you ever decided to do some kind of promotion and give some vibrators away. I downloaded all your shows. I listened to them every night before I go to every night before I go teach my English class. Love you, Alex from Vologda. Vologda, Ru, Valagda, Vlogda. What is that, Russian?

You guys didn't look it up before? Hold on.

Maybe look up Vologda. V, L, O, G, D, A. V, O, V O L O. V O.

L O, G, D, A, G, D, A. I think he's in region.

Russia.

Yeah, it's Russia.

Thank the Lord. It sounds Russian. Okay. I do give away vibrators a lot, but I can't send them to Russia. It's illegal and it's expensive. But you should try vibrator up your butt. For sure. There's a lot of vibrators that you can use.

There's some really good ones from. Well, I don't know if you can order internationally, but I'll just tell you goodvibes.com is awesome for beginners. You can try the Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug for anyone who likes smaller toys up their bum. Starting with a small, subtle bulb at the head, this plug widens towards the base. Or try the Aaron Anero Progasm Prostate Massager if you are. If you're ready to step it up a notch, the Progasm ups the size and adds a new feature, the K tab. There are two bulbs at the base, one that puts pressure on the perineum and one that stimulates the K tab, a known acupressure point located below the sacrum and the tailbone. The narrow skin to help tone a man's PC muscles, which can help improve control and intensify orgasm. Go to the anal sex toy section of goodvibes.com and explore. So go to goodvibes.com use coupon code emilygvemily. 15 for 15% off purchase of the Good Vibes. That's GV, Emily. 15 for 15% off purchases of Good Vibes. Good Vibes is awesome. It's a great store, great online store. And I think you can find some anal pleasure. Hopefully they ship to Russia. I know that we don't. And if not, you can look up those brands and narrows and try to find one that works for you.

Russian women, at least in the circle of people that I know, have been getting pretty popular lately. What do you mean that people are like, oh, you know, Russian women are beautiful.

Yeah, they are. They are.

Yeah. I actually had a Russian girlfriend for a little while. Like, almost a year.

Well, what happened?

We just broke up. Distance didn't work. Yeah.

She lived in Russia.

No, no, no.

Oh.

But.

She lived in the East Bay. I lived here. It's. There's a lot of traveling that had to be done.

You like these bay?

I love the East Bay. If people don't know it's right outside the Bay Area. I mean, outside of San Francisco, it's. We're separated by water, and then you have to take a train or you have to take a bridge to get over there.

Right. Okay, cool.

I mean, you exclusively do not date.

I don't do 510.

I don't do the 510 area code.

Which is not as classy as.

It's not that it's not classy. I hate driving over that frigging bridge. I hate the bridge. I hate the signs.

Well, you're running out of people to date here in the city.

I know, I know. It's true. I've dated everyone in the city, and so maybe I'll go north where you never go to Marin.

Barf. Yeah. What's going on?

I was just looking. There's only two. There's two emails on here.

Okay.

But I thought there were more. Okay, it's fine. We're moving on.

Cool.

To vanilla sex. Although you know what I kind of want to do first?

What do you got?

We're going to get into vanilla sex. But I want to do this thing that was that. I found 12 kinds of sex every woman should have before settling down. And I wanted photography. There's 12 kinds of sex that every woman should have before settling down.

I don't think so.

You don't think so?

No. Go ahead, though.

Okay. Foreigner sucks. Whether you're traveling or he comes to you, don't let a fling with a foreign. Howdy. Pass you by.

Oh, God.

I just thought I wanted to see what I could check off this list too. It's kind of like a sex bucket list. Okay, I've done that. Foreigners. It is fun when you're in a foreign country. Use protection. Always. But it's kind of fun because it's like you might not speak the same language, but you know, there's some kind of chemistry or connection. And you're out of the country. You might never see him again. But it's really fun.

Stupid.

Go ahead.

What is stupid? Foreigner sex.

Just dumb. Oh, I'm out of the country. I'm wild. I'm partying.

It's pretty hard.

I should just hook up with somebody just because I'm out here, not because I'm into them.

No, you're into them and you're traveling.

Yeah, it's dumb.

Okay. The one sex. The guy you thought was your one and only. When you do finally meet your match, he'll be the one who made you and your orgasm stronger. Yeah, you gotta have sex with the one. Okay. Big penis sex. Just to see how big is too big. And of course, you can brag to your friends later. Wow, I've done that.

Classy menace.

These are good things to do. Bad sex. The kind so bad you want to take a shower afterwards. Just so you appreciate good and mediocre sex when you have it. I think we all have to have bad sex.

Yeah, but you don't seek it out.

No, but they're just saying it's not a. It's sort of like a bucket list. But it's sort of like you should have these experiences before you die. This applies to men too. Now I realized that the reason. One of the main reasons why I started the Sex with Emily show was because I thought to myself, I have not had the best sex of my life yet.

Okay?

I need to have better sex. I just know that there's better sex out there. And I wanted to learn how to do it and I wanted to give advice and find it. And I mean, do you think you've had the best sex of your life yet?

I don't know. I can't answer that question.

Can you think of the best sex your life?

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.

I mean, the best part made the best sex. Was it the person or was it like the stuff you did together?

Maybe the person and the stuff, it's combination.

Well, what. How would you describe the best sex?

How would I describe the best sex?

Why was it. What made it so good?

What made it so good. I believe it was.

How do you. How do you explain the best sex of your life?

That's a great question.

Give me enough.

I don't know. I was thinking, like, when I was in my 20s and I was eating this guy who was more sexually advanced than I was, and I was still in that stage where I was, like, freaked out by porn and thought that the fact that he watched porn meant that he wanted me to have big boobs, fake boobs, and blonde hair. And I think a lot of women go through that with men, with porn. Anyway, he was more advanced. He was more experimental, and he made me feel very safe. And we experimented, and it was really sexy and hot, and we would do really fun things together, like have sex on top of a mirror. Once, like, he put this big mirror down and we had sex on it. It was like a hard. It was like a serious, heavy mirror. And, like, you could watch ourselves having sex. We would watch porn together, and we would just, like, hang out and, like, explore each other. And it was. And I don't know if it's because I was younger, it was new, but it also just feels like it was. It was amazing sex because we kept trying new things and it was very safe and it felt. And we were really connected and I was totally turned on by him. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good.

That's a good explanation.

Okay. Okay. You should have angry hate breakup sex. Anger is one potent aphrodisiac. It certainly starts the sexy time off with a bang. It's like naked wrestling where everyone wins.

I have never had breakup sex.

I've never had angry hate sex.

I don't think. Well, angry hate sex. Yeah.

You have?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Oh, I've had breakup sex, but I've never had sex.

I've never had had breakup sex.

I always have sex with my exes at least once.

I mean, I do that, but I never. I never had, like, oh, we're breaking up, so let's have sex.

No, I've had it. Like, we broke up and then we had sex a week later.

Yeah, no, but then that's not breakup sex. They're talking about people that have the conversation, okay, we're breaking up, but let's have sex one more time.

Oh, okay.

That has never happened. I don't even think that exists.

That does exist. I've never had that thought.

It happens.

Okay. Sex with a rock star, whether you're some guy's Penny Lane, you feel like a million sexy bucks and the. Then cheap, like two seconds later. But it always makes for an interesting story. So go be someone's inspiration in bed. I don't know if you should have sex with a rock star. I've never.

Dude, I gotta see groupies.

I've had sex with a guy in a band, but he wasn't a rock star.

I have to deal with groupies all the time.

You do?

Disgusting.

They sleep with them. The gimbal job. They just hang out.

Okay, I hate it.

Why do you hate it? Because they're just like, oh, he's so annoying. So I just want to have sex with him.

And then that's it. And then. All right, now what? You can tell all your girlfriends, but no guys could be like, respect you.

Exactly. You don't want to tell the guys that you. No, guys want to know. Don't share those stories with guys you've dated. Because I've dated some high profile people and I've shared that with guys I've dated. Not on purpose. It just like, came. I'm like, oh, I text them. And guys just never want to hear that you had sex with anyone else before. We've talked with this in the show and I think that's really important. They don't want to know who else you've had sex with.

And look, chicks, if you're going to have sex with some guy in a band, let me give you some advice, all right? Don't just sleep with the guitar player or the. Or the drummer if they're not super famous, like, oh, I slept with the drummer of, you know, Death Cab for Cutie. Who cares? Who is that guy? You know, like, now it's even more embarrassing for you. So if you're gonna sleep with somebody famous just because they're famous, you better pick the most famous person in the band.

That band, Right?

Yeah.

Okay, so sex with a rock star who's really a rock star, because you're.

Just gonna get made fun of behind your back.

True. Hold on.

They're gonna. You're gonna be called A. And you can even pull the most famous person in the band.

But girls really do, like, hang out outside the.

Oh, my God. Yeah, they do. It's ridiculous.

I've never done that. Okay, in the butt.

In the butt. You gotta do it.

Ladies, you should know if anal is your thing before you settle down. Test it out with someone you trust. Preferably a gentle, mild mannered sweetheart who is also dispensable in case you don't like it and never wanna do it again.

Oh, I'm sure he's a sweetheart.

Because for him, once they pop, they can't stop. Is that true? Once you do it in the butt with someone, you always wanna do it in the butt with someone.

A guy or a girl?

A guy. Once they pop, they can't stop. Because for dudes it says once they pop, they can't stop. So once they pop your butt cherry. Y. Yeah.

They want to do it again? Of course.

I guess so. Yeah. I don't know if anal sex is for everyone, but if it's something you want to try, you should try it. But with someone. And go very slow and use lots of lube. Girl on girl. You don't have to go all the way, but you have to kiss. At least kiss another girl. And it doesn't count if you're doing it just for male attention. Every liaison is best in private. So don't just go make out with a girl at 2am at the friggin bar when guys are watching. But if you really want to have like a sexy romantic situation with a girl, you could totally do it.

Yeah.

I got hit on by this girl last night and she was cute and she was like, oh, we should get together and do this thing. And she's like.

And you're like, totes.

I'm like, totes. But I've made out with girl. Not in. Not in public. It was hot. Yeah, sure, I've done that.

Did she go down on you.

Anyway? I can't remember. Couldn't have been that good. Okay, age gap sex jump the age gap's bones. Bag a younger man and an older man. Especially when it comes to dudes. You have to comparison shop. Test out men at every age. And you might just be surprised by what you find out about guys in general. I've dated older and younger. I've done that. Have you dated? You've dated older women, younger women, or you don't date older women?

I don't date older women.

I've done that. Okay. I don't know. That's just good to experiment. These are just ideas, men and women. These apply to both men and women. You could date an older woman, date younger women, but just things you should try out. You shouldn't get married before you're 30 anyway, so you've got time to do all these things. Okay, you should try being a top. You totally dominate the sexual experience. It's you in control, doing and getting what you want. Bonus points if it involves leather. Leather?

Who the F. Wrote this?

I did.

You read?

You? I didn't write it, but. No, but being A top. I mean, women should be dominant sometimes. They should, yeah.

Of course they should.

Don't men want men to be. Don't men want women to be dominant?

Yes.

So try being a dominant one time. The biggest complaint we hear from men are that they don't, is that women don't initiate sex enough. So be a friggin top, Grab em, get on top of them, climb up on them and get your orgasm. Okay, can't keep it up. Sex. Sometimes you drink too much whiskey. Sometimes he just did it solo. Whatever the reason, sometimes you can't get him up, can't get him up for the night. You have to accept that. You have to figure out how to handle your insecurity over the situation in a way that doesn't make a man feel worthless. It happens to every dude. Let's be grateful. All the ladies have to do is show up and party on. Spread them and party on is what it says. But it's true. If a guy can't keep it up or can't ejaculate or whatever it is, women don't trip on it. We know that that's par for the course. It just happens sometimes men can't get up, we don't trip on it. That's happened to you before, right?

Yeah, I don't care.

We don't care. Of course you don't care, but we don't care either. We're not judging. You guys are like, oh my God, my life is over. We don't care. Yeah, I mean if it happens every single time, that's a problem. But if it doesn't, we're fine with it. And then finally, be yourself. There is nothing more empowering and easy to do when it comes to your pleasure. Masturbation is important for learning what you like and how to get all the way home.

So do it. When it comes to masturbation, be yourself. By yourself, not be yourself. I read it wrong. By yourself.

Matt, it's 4:20, everybody. We apologize.

I didn't smell pot yet.

That, no, but just being in San Francisco, it's just in the air.

Do you think that we just are all high from all the pots?

There has to be so much contact that. Do you understand? I live in one of the nicest neighborhoods.

But you just walk through it and it's just. You just smell weed.

I smell weed. My entire building smells like weed. And it's not from me constantly.

Like I just walked through. Yeah, I walked through my apartment building and I think that I'm in an actual dispensary. I know, like, everybody is smoking weed early in the morning. I walk by this one garage every morning, and I guarantee you that it's just. They're just growing weed in there because it is so smart.

They must be. They must be. Everyone's growing weed, selling weed and smoking weed. And we have. It's. Pot is illegal here. Legal. You can get pot cards and pots. Go to the pot store. You can swing by these pot stores in San Francisco that look like Whole Foods. Like, they're so nice. You go in, you go shopping, they give you free samples. Yeah, that's what I hear. And it's fun. So. Okay. Well, speaking of pot, sex and pot, there's some pros and cons I wanted to run by.

All pro, right?

Not all pro. Although I have to tell you, when I was young, I probably. I'll share this story. When I was younger and I was unable to orgasm, and I was unable to orgasm pretty much like my early 20s. Up until my early 20s, my mom was like, have you ever tried smoking marijuana before you had sex? Because maybe you'd be.

You're talking about this with your mom?

My mom was talking about it with me. I asked her for advice, and she's like, smoke pot. That was the first advice I got from my mother about sex. I think it was the only advice I ever got with him from my mom.

Your mom told you to smoke weed?

Well, not regularly, but to try it. Because it helps you relax. It stops your inhibitions. Your inhibitions go away. You're less inhibited, and you are more open. And a lot of times women can have orgasms because they're so inside their head and they're so focused on the orgasm. Orgasm, it's gonna happen. Is it gonna happen? But when you smoke pot, apparen, those feelings can subside. But there are some pros and cons to it. Yes, it can help. There's been tons of studies. I've been reading up on this, and there's a lot of studies that people say it enhances their sex life. And I think it's because you're sensory. Your senses are more sense, you know, are more acute and you are. Yeah, less. You have less inhibitions. But the pro is marijuana, like the majority of psychoactive plants, has been used as an aphrodisiac for thousands of years. The con is, ironically, it has also been used to decrease sexual desire. So it's like everything, it's like moderation. If you smoke pot every single day, a lot of pot, it could wreak Havoc on your sex life and decrease your sexual desire. But a pro. At low to moderate levels of intoxication, users report heightened ability to communicate sexually with their partners and increase body awareness. People felt they became more loving, more willing to pay attention to the technical aspects of loving, lovemaking and foreplay. The gist of it. Better sensuality, more into having sex and pleasing your partner. If you smoke pot, we're talking about this because it's 420, which is the national smart poking, smart poke.

See, you're getting that contacting.

It's pot smoking holiday, okay?

And it's like, it's the biggest holiday here in southeast.

It is. It's a big deal.

It's bigger than Christmas.

I know.

Guaranteed.

We live in San Francisco. Okay. Con it can decrease sexual performance an hour after smoking as testosterone levels spike. Right after you smoke pot, your testosterone levels spike, but then it takes a dive after 20 minutes. That's a con. Okay. A pro to pot says many people, says it heightens sexual climax. A con. There was research that seems to describe that claim. Here's the science. So thc, which is the active ingredient in marijuana, has been shown to greatly increase testosterone levels during and immediately after consumption. But then it drops to it down to lower than normal levels within a half hour. So I guess if you have smoke pot, you should have sex right away because your testosterone level is gonna die, dry down. Also, heavy doses of THC disrupt the normal flow of testosterone production. This appears to cause a shutdown that sends hormonal levels falling 20 minutes after the drug is administered. Another con, Chronic marijuana smokers show signs of infertility. Men may have lower sperm counts, and women may have abnormal ovulation. Another con studies by the British lung association suggest that regular smoke inhalation weakens your immune system, which naturally would affect your libido. And I was eating a heavy pot smoker years ago, and he could not get it up. Keep it up. And when he did, he was the minute man.

Wow.

And it didn't last long. And I always wondered if I had to do this pot smoking. He's like, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. But he, like, couldn't stop smoking. And it just. I was like, well, I can't keep dating you because you have no boner. At the end of the day, you have no boner.

Did you. He couldn't stop smoking at all.

He tried, but he, like, couldn't stop.

Yeah. Why? I wonder if there's, like.

Anything else. I mean, if you switch to a different type of.

Like edibles or something.

Yeah.

Eat it maybe. Is there any difference? Because I heard it gives you a different high.

It does. Edibles do give you a different high. They say it's more of a full body high, like your whole body, but it can also make you more like, tired, I guess. But it's. You could switch it up. You could also just not smoke pot.

And we're just talking about pot. I heard, you know. Well, I heard because I've been around a lot of people being in our city. Cocaine is like, you know, the crazy drug to use also. And people just have a thing called coke weenie where they cannot disorganize.

Like whiskey dick. No whiskey dick. You can't get it up, right?

Yeah, but coke weenie, you can never orgasm, right?

I've heard that.

Yeah.

And I've heard.

That you can never orgasm, but you can stay hard longer, but you can't orgasm. So then I know guys who. Or I know guys who can't get hard and then they take Viagra, and that's stupid. So just don't do drugs, people. I don't want to promote drugs. Like, I felt like I had to mention 420, but I'm not promoting drug use or anything because it's better just to be natural and be yourself and be connected with your partner and communicate. Okay, we're going to talk about vanilla sex now.

All right?

Vanilla sex. You know what that is? Vanilla sex is what they call people who are just having regular, normal, nothing wrong with it. Sexual sex, it's pretty basic, you know, missionary maybe, or she's on top. Sometimes you're on top. You always have it in the bedroom. You haven't used sex toys, you haven't tried things out. So we're gonna give little tips that. Little twists on the vanilla things you're doing and how to spice them up. So vanilla sex is kind of sex that isn't kinky or very adventurous. Missionary is kind of vanilla where doggy style is not. There's no pain, no kinkiness. Vanilla sex is the most socially acceptable form of intercourse and is typically more lovey dovey if your flavor is vanilla. If your favorite flavor is vanilla, here's how to make it a little bit better. So if you're used to.

Is your favorite flavor vanilla?

You know what, to be honest, no. My favorite flavor is chocolate.

Yeah.

But as far as sex goes, I do. I really want to say this. I don't think that I'm. That I'm not vanilla. No. But I'm not Crazy, crazy, crazy sex, girl.

You're not.

Did I just deflate? Do people just, like, turn off the.

Radio, you're all strapped down in leather 24? No, but I would love to try swingers parties.

No, I mean, I do. I go to swingers parties. I don't get tied up enough, and I'm open for anything, but I'm not. You know, I do missionary. I do women on top. I mean, I do basic. Not every time I have sex am I swinging from the rafter. But I wouldn't say that I'm prudent, uptight about sex. Like, oh, so here's a good example before I get into this. So there's a guy that works in my building, and he came to my office yesterday. He works downstairs. He's a contractor. And he knocked on my door and he came in. He's actually this really cool guy that we love because he always gives us beers on Fridays. And yesterday he gave us one on Thursday, so that was good. And he came in and he looked a little nervous. And he came in and he shuts the door and he's like, yeah, we've been out drinking today. Cause they had some big meeting. And I'm like, cool. And he was kind of shaky, and he's like, I have a question for you.

I don't really know. I could just tell there was something like, what? He's like, well, my wife is very kind of vanilla y. She's meat and potatoes girl, and I want to get her something for our anniversary. He's been married 15 years, and he wants to get her something to spice up their relationship. And he's like, but I don't want to get her any scary vibrator. You want to get her vibrator. And so he was asking me about Jimmy Jane vibrators, because we talk about them all the time, which are awesome presents and awesome vibrators. And it was just cute because he was so nervous. But he's like, I don't want to get her anything too crazy, but I want to get her something like an entry level vibrator. And she's never used anything like that in 15 years. So it was cute because I think he thought that it would be a big deal to us. But we're just sitting there going, oh, this is what we talked about all day long.

What happens? This thing called the rock box, right?

Oh, my God. It's still sitting on my counter. I'm gonna bring it home this weekend.

Here, check this out. It's called a rock box.

I'M like, don't get the rock box. The rockbox is the most powerful vibrator on the planet right now.

It causes earthquakes in small countries.

It really does. I'm afraid to use it because my whole building might come down. My building's from like the 1900s.

I don't think you should use it. I think you.

I kind of think I should.

I think women can blow out their vagina using something like that.

No, you can't blow out your vaginas.

Yeah, you can, dude, believe me. I've seen it on the Internet. Blown out shotgun.

No, you haven't. Yeah, you've seen blown out vaginas on the Internet.

Dude, it exists, man. That's what I'm saying. You're like, oh, all vaginas are the same. Well, how about. You know what? I have never googled this in my life, but I'm sure if you google it right now, blown out vagina. You probably see a blown out vagina.

So just talking about Jimmy Jane for a second. Who? We love Jimmy Jane. If you use coupon code spring, you get $25 off purchases of $100 or more. If you go to my website, you can see the Emily's Picks page to find out my favorite toys from Jimmy Jane. And I recommended to him the form 2 because the form 2 is a great Jimmy Jane entry level vibrator that is really powerful. It kind of looks like the rabbit ears from the rabbit, but it's so beautiful, the Jimmy Jane products that first of all, it's a great gift. It's elegant and you can leave it by your bed stand, like, no problem. Just like leave it on your bedsand no one even knows it's a vibrator. And it's pink and cute and I think she'd like it. So that's what I recommended him. But you guys should all go check out Jimmy J. Okay. Missionary, vanilla sex. If you're used to missionary, try the cat the coital alignment technique. So I love this technique. I have talked about this on the show before, but it's a really good. It's a really good technique that you can do in missionary with him on top. But she's able to have more orgasms this way if this is how she orgasms. So basically, he lies on top of her, rests its full weight on her. Rather than propping himself up, he scoots forward about three inches from his usual missionary position, cups her shoulders and makes love to her while the base of his penis is rubbing her clitoris. This is an Orgasmic position that is much more up and down than in and out. So you're going up and down and you're rubbing. And there's more of a chance of simultaneous orgasm with this position than any other position. So you can look it up online. The coital alignment technique. Technique. We'll post it on our website. The cat, they call it. Yeah, so that's a good one. There's the anvil. This technique is a killer move that provides extra stimulation to the G spot. So how you do this one, you place her legs on his shoulders. Before he enters her, he should find an angle that they're both comfortable with, which brings the best sensation. He can then vary the angle of penetration by changing the angle of her left legs. Tips and techniques for this. For maximum comfort and to achieve the best angle for G spot stimulation, she should place a pillow beneath her hips. You can get one of those wedges, those liberator things, or just put a pillow underneath her so she's lying on her back, her legs are around your shoulders. You enter in a different way. If she's got her butt propped up on pillows, it's a really good angle to hit her G spot. It's called the anvil.

And.

When should I try this?

Tonight.

The first time ever having sex with somebody.

Sure it's not too dirty? We're talking tip. We're talking twists on vanilla sex hair. Do you ever do that, though, with a woman? Puts her legs up on her shoulders. You've done that?

Yeah, yeah, of course. And then you just jackrabbit it the whole time.

Yeah.

So that's what guys want to do.

That's all they want to do. Right. Like, would you be happy if a girl was just like, jackrabbit me?

I'm like, yeah. And I don't have to do anything else.

Yeah.

Dream come true for any man.

Okay. Really?

So once in a while, you just gotta let a guy jackrab at you.

You do. Once in a while, you're like, just fucking come already and jackrabbit on me.

Yeah, jackrabbit on you.

Just jackrabbit all over me.

We're talking about jackrabbit, where a guy just kind of just goes as fast as he can.

Exactly. A guy goes as fast as he can. And he's like. So we don't love jackrabbit sacks as women. We just think it's kind of.

Yeah, but a guy is just also just trying to maintain his erection.

Right.

Because sometimes you guys just want to go so slow Right. My boner's dying here.

You know, but slow sex can be really sensual and hot.

For you, of course, not for you. I'm not talking about a guy.

I'm like a normal man. Some guy thinks he's hot.

Of course. God. Why do you always say some guys? Because, yes, any guy will counteract any statement that I give. Because a lot of guys are just happy to get laid.

Right.

I'm sorry.

Right.

So anything that I say, there's going to be another man saying, I am totally wrong.

Right. And oftentimes they do say you're totally wrong.

Yeah. Because they just want to have sex.

Right. Okay.

And me, I'm just, you know, I just tell it how it is. Just how I feel.

That's how you feel?

You know what? If you don't agree with it, that's fine.

I'm not totally fine.

I'm not in your sexual relationship. I'm not showing you to have sex. I'm not standing in the room, pointing, saying, you're doing it wrong. You do what the hell you want to do.

But I do think that slowing down sex, and I think that we're so used to going fast with sex that slow sex can feel really good, even though Minus loses his boner. But a lot of guys don't lose their boner and it feels good.

Yeah.

Okay, so if he's always on top, these are some alternatives to vanilla sex. How to spice up vanilla sex? You could do woman on top. If you really want to make her orgasm during sex, let her jump on top and take control. Men get to lay back and admire her breasts while she directs the movement. Why do you like women on top? What's your favorite part of it?

My favorite part of it is because I can last a lot longer when a woman's on top.

Right. Why is that?

Maybe because we're. We're not actually. We're not in control. And we're not. There's not too much physical stuff that we have to do right now. When we're actually doing a physical action, we're getting excited, you know? Not that I'm not excited that you're sitting on my penis, but.

Right.

It's.

It's just different.

Yeah, it's just different. I'm not really putting as much energy into it.

Okay, well, when she's on top, so. Yeah. So women should just get on top. If you don't ever get on top, it's a really good way for women to take control because they can move how they want to move. They can rub their clitoris. They can do different things. They can move your. Their clitoris against your penis or move your penis so it hits your G spot. So women, if you don't go on top, try to climb on top.

If you're used to having sex without a sex toy, get something very subtle to start out with. Try to get the Form 2 from Jimmy Jane. Like I told the guy in the office. The other thing I told the guy who came in the office who had never bought a vibrator before. Yeah, Is my new favorite sex toy is the Jiu Joo Mimi from Good Vibrations. Use coupon code GVMILY15 at checkout. Go to goodvibes.com I'm in love with my Mimi. I tenderly washed it this morning with soap and water and, like, put it by my bedside. It's a really cool couple's vibrator because it's kind of shaped like an. Like an egg. And you can put your hand around it, or he can use his hand around it and you could use it during sex really easily. And most importantly, it's really powerful. It has five speeds or ten speeds. I think five speeds of just regular and then five other weird speeds. But the point is. Meaning speeds that are like. And then there's the. And then there's the like.

But it's got all these speeds, and it's the Jiu Joo Mimi. That's J E J O U E from Good Vibrations.

You know what I'm actually interested in?

What? Menace.

I'm actually interested in a sex toy. Not that maybe. Not that I want to use it.

Look, my mouth is agape.

But the way it was being explained on the television show, I was watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta and.

Candy with her bedroom candy line. She had the one that she brought into the show right before sticking the. The lipstick with the. The compact thing where it's just. It looks like for clitoral stimulation, it would be a good design with a round. This is like a round flat.

Exactly.

You can explain it better than I can. What it looks like.

It looks like a makeup compact purse. Like, when a woman powders her face, it looks like one of those powder puffs, but it's actually a vibrator and it's got this handle. So on the back of it, you can put your hand around it, and it kind of curves, and it's. It's kind of like the jujubimi. It's a great one. Yeah, it's. It's. You can also get these at Good Vibes candy. It's called Bedroom Candy. And it's the one that looks like a makeup compact with a mirror in it and all that. And you can check that out. I actually, they're selling really well.

She sell. She spells candy K A N D.

I. I heard of that. Last episode was all like an infomercial for Kandi Toys.

I don't really think so.

You didn't think so?

No, no, no. Okay, so there's a show on MTV called Rob Durdek's Fantasy Factory. And I love the show to death, but the. The entire show is just infomercials for just stuff.

What this.

Companies that he's involved in. But he. He makes it, like, funny.

Who is he?

He's. He was a professional skateboarder. Now he's like malt. He's like a mogul. He's like multimillionaire. He has a giant warehouse where he calls it the Fantasy Factory. And it's just his offices. He just hangs out and just does crazy stuff and starts companies, like, at a drop of a hat and just makes millions of dollars.

Why is everyone making a million dollars but me right now?

I don't know. But maybe that'll change when you get on television.

Exactly. When I'm on television, you better all watch, okay? Because I'm funny. Menace is on there too, being mean to me. Okay.

No.

So, sweetheart, you are not sweet. What if you are just used to just sex and not oral sex?

Salt of the earth.

Try. Yeah, right. Try going down. You see the trailer? I'm yelling at you. That's hilarious. Try going down on your partner more often.

So you wrote this part?

I wrote this part that you should try to perform oral sex more often.

Yeah, females, you should.

And she should go down on him more often.

All the time, daily.

Just do it first. If you're going down on her, warm up by kissing her. Don't just go right down to her vagina because she's not ready yet. Caress her with your hands. Try to make the experience as romantic and sensual as possible. Don't go right to the clitoris. Lick around the area. Play with her thighs. Play with her areas around there. Rub the back of her knees. I don't care what you do, but don't go right for the clitoris. Make eye contact. And when you're performing oral sex, you should give directions on what feels good. She should give you directions on what feels good. And listen for verbal cues from her. Don't you want verbal cues? No, you don't.

It's like It's a little weird really, when you're getting verbal cues, just, you know, physical cues is fine.

You mean just be like pulling your hair and like. Okay, yeah, right. Not like left, left. Right, right, yeah.

No, no, no.

Okay, don't want that, don't want that.

But if I can call you a whore, that would be a bonus.

Really? Would that turn you on? You don't talk dirty. I thought. Oh no, you do. I do.

But I mean, I don't call a chicken A like a. Or anything like that.

None of the first time you've sex them.

I've never called a woman A to her face.

I'm trying to think if I've ever been called A.

And I. If I date somebody.

No matter how hard I get, I'll never call them A either. I'm. I'm old school, man.

What do you mean you never call me like.

I'll call it. I'll call other women all day. But if I'm dating. But if it's my girlfriend, I won't call her A. No matter how much we fight and stuff like that. I won't call her her A.

To your friends you'll call her A though?

Well, they. Oh yeah. She's acting like. She's acting like a total.

But I want you to have a girlfriend. Do you have a girlfriend now? The one that you're dating?

I can't wait till that happens. Okay, why you.

Why you want me to have a girlfriend?

I just want you to have something more.

Talking about married already and have a kid.

Oh, shut up. I don't have time. So busy. I gotta do a new website. Okay. If you're used to having sex in the bedroom. This is for vanilla sex tips.

Yeah.

Do it in the shower.

Yes. A big fan of that.

Big chance.

Be careful though, it could slip and fall.

Do it on the couch. Do it in the kitchen. Do it on the balcony in the backyard. This guy I've been dating, we've done it on my butcher block table in my kitchen and it's really friggin hot.

We ate on that.

I know. I clean it off when we're done.

Sanitize it, burn it.

I do sanitize it, but I'm just saying if you want to spice up your relationship, these are some things alternatives. And we got a. Wrap this puppy up.

No, we got a couple extra seconds we can talk about. Yeah, no, we can talk. Don't worry, we have another 20 seconds.

Okay. So anyway, I love everyone for listening to the show.

And we're in the sister studios in San Francisco, California. If you want to listen to the podcast of the show, just download the app. It's totally free for your smartphone. And then you just search Sex with Emily and it'll stream right on your phone.

So true.

Yes.

And you can follow us on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram.

Sex with Emily and SexWithemily.com is your daily sex newspaper.

That's your daily sex newspaper. It's all the sex information you need. You can follow MenACewHitemenace and all those places too.

Yeah, follow me on Instagram. That's my favorite. And thank you to XM. We're on XM Radio.

We're on XM Radio. We love being on Extreme Talk XM165 and it's really fun. We love being here.

Have a Good Friday on this 420.

Have a great Friday. Thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com and before I forget, if you don't have my book hot over 200 things you can try tonight, you can buy it on Amazon and it's one of those really easy to navigate sex books where you really can try all those things tonight. So check it out.

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