SWE: The Bush

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Our sacred Institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. That feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast, sign up for our mailing list, and check out all that fun stuff. You can also sign up for our RSS feed so you'll never miss a Sex with Emily show again. We're also always looking for advertisers. If you know any great products that you might be interested in or anyone you'd like to advertise, you can email me feedbackexwithemily.com Today's show, we will be reading your emails that you sent to feedbackextextwithemily.com Some people found me on Facebook, which is my I have a Sex with Emily fan page, or Twitter. Emily Morse. M O, R, S E. Here's the topics in some of the letters, some of the emails. Hair down there. Gold diggers. This has come up a lot. Circumcision. And plus, we're gonna be reading some sex tips, how to make the sex better for the woman as well as sex in the news. Hey, Menace. Happy Friday.

I know. I'm very excited because Black Friday is coming soon and you know me, I love shopping.

You hate it.

No, no, you love shopping. I love shopping.

I don't know this about you. What do you mean, you love shopping?

See, you never listen to anything else.

I do listen. I just don't remember.

Remember I said, oh, I like going shopping because your mom.

Because your mom took you shopping. Totally. See, I just need a little reminder to bring you back to the whole story now. And your mom and the childhood. And you love shopping. Can we go shopping sometimes? We were supposed to have plans this week. We did. Well, we talked. See, you don't remember anything that I said last week. I said to you. We talked about it. We're like, yeah, we'll do something next week. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't happen.

Well, my schedule got changed last minute.

Yeah, whatever. Mine too. I'm super busy.

I'm going to work early in the morning now.

No time for you. You are?

Yeah.

Okay.

But let me tell you something. That was cool. This week I got invited to go to Pixar. Cool, right? So I go to Pixar and they're like, yeah, we want to show the screening of this movie and the movie is called the Black Swan. It comes out to December 1st and Natalie Portman's in it. I'm telling you, Natalie Portman's vagina gets violated the entire movie from beginning.

What do you mean it gets violated?

It means there's a ton of masturbation in it.

There's Pixar film.

It's not. It's not a Pixar film.

Oh, they view. They just screaming at Pixar. Okay.

There's masturbation. There's other guys doing things to. Really?

Was it hot?

It was pretty hot. And there was some girl on girl action that was more girl on girl action that I've seen in a movie than any other movie.

Oh, my God. Natalie Portman stepping out.

Yeah.

She hasn't done anything that crazy lately, so. Which isn't her last. I weren't. Her last few movies kind of flopped. I haven't, from what I know about pop culture. But I feel like she hasn't been. She's always a star. Like, she's always got that sort of elevated status, like whatever she does. People love Natalie Portman. They always have. But I don't feel like there's been anything that she's done lately. And this sounds like this could either be really, really great for her career, really bad for her career.

Oh, no. People are saying that she's gonna be a nominated.

Wow.

Awards.

And so why so much sex in it? Is it like Violet violations? Is it like hot sex that she's consenting to? Is it?

Yeah, it's stuff that she's consenting to, I think. But the reason, the point is that is it's all throughout the movie is because she is so uptight. So people are like, you need to be, you know, less uptight from the people surrounding her. So that's why this comes up.

Is it hot to watch her masturbate?

Yeah, it's pretty hot. And there's some funny, funny parts.

Really?

I definitely recommend it. It's an awesome movie. It was made by the guy who did the Rustler.

Oh, that was a great movie.

Yeah. So check out one of the movies.

That I've seen in the last three years.

Yeah, check out.

Okay.

You watched that movie?

Yeah.

Are you serious?

Yeah. Why is that weird?

I don't know.

I just think I only see movies when I'm dating someone. So I was dating someone and I saw it. Otherwise I don't leave my house. I mean, I leave my house, but usually I'm home working.

The wrestler had this perception that it was so indie. So now I'm not surprised.

Yeah. Cuz I like indie films.

I only see indie films and I.

Only go, you know what other film I saw this week hence on a date.

Yeah.

Was the Social Network. Did you see it? The Facebook movie?

Yeah.

Did you like it? What do you mean? Of course. You always see movies. I loved it and it reminded me. I thought it was so good about him being just so driven. I know. Snow. So many people like that living in the Bay Area. We're home to so many geniuses and billionaires who have made so much money off of different companies. And I just feel like it just captured that energy and like his drive and his genius. And the thing that was so interesting was, you know, that just the way Facebook was, it's all about Facebook and how he started Facebook when he was at Harvard. And if you haven't seen it yet, which probably everyone's seen it, I'm seeing it a little late. But the interesting part, I love the part because this ties into something that I wanted to mention, that he says how he decided to put in relationship status in Facebook, that he was sitting there in class and some guy comes up and goes, hey, you know that girl who sits behind you in chemistry? Like, what's her do? You know if she's dating, Is she in a relationship? And all of a sudden he's like, ding. And he runs upstairs and he's like, relationship status. And that has become such a huge part of Facebook. And that's how you figure out, like, who's dating who, who's not, who's what everyone's doing. So I thought that was interesting. Who?

I want to talk. The biggest point of that entire story that we swept under rug. You were on a date. So what's going on?

Okay.

Any making out or what?

I didn't make out. No. But I was on a date with a guy from la. I mean, no, we made out. Not in the movie theater, but we shared popcorn, which was not good popcorn actually, by the way, which pissed me off. But that's another story. Yeah, it's a guy from la, he's in town and we went to a movie and hung out.

Now this is the Guy from LA that just flies up to see you. He makes excuses like, yes. You know, he has no business really in San Francisco.

He says he has business here. He's gonna be here again for business on Monday. Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't that funny?

What's his. What's the business?

I don't know. I can't. He's just starting to use some startup company. Yeah. So it was fun. I like him. I just. I don't know. I'm afraid that my manatorium went. While it was really great for me, it also made me realize how much I really enjoy my company and being alone.

Really?

I was ready for him to like, I was. It was great. But I was like, okay, time to. Time to catch a flight, isn't it?

You are like.

I'm harsh. I know. But I really like him. I think he's awesome. I'm.

I'm going into a little hermit stage.

I know it's kind of bad, but. No, it's. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's just interesting. I have so much going on with this sex with Emily craziness that it's kind of all these things. The Bravo show, the book, the opportunity, a lot of things that I'm creating and writing and I'm at home and I'm reading sex. And I got sex school homework which I haven't really even done yet. But I've got all these books to read and like hundreds of DVDs to watch and a lot of them are sex related.

I'm not gonna get afraid for your well being until you get a cat.

No, exactly.

Because when you become the crazy cat.

Lady, then I just said to my friends, I'm like, like, how was your date? I'm like, just beware when I start calling you about cats. And I said the same thing. But no, I like him. And then this other guy I'm going out with this weekend, he's. He wants to cook me dinner at his house.

Really?

Yeah. And I. He's a really good chef. He's a really good cook apparently. And I've never, you know, I store, I store. My oven is storage. Basically. I have like sweaters and books in there, which is bad because they get sex toys, they leave them all in my oven. Cause I've never used my oven. And he's like, oh, I hope you'll think it's good. I'm like, anything better than frozen dinner? Which is what I eat a lot. So. Anyway, that'll be fun. But yeah, how you Dating?

Am I dating? No.

Okay.

I'm not.

You're still in your 30 day sobatorium.

No. Oh, drinking?

Not drinking.

Yeah. No, I'm not drinking until March, until I go to Austin, Texas.

Okay, perfect. You know what's interesting, though, the Facebook thing, why. Why it struck me is because this has been. This is a phenomenon that's happened lately with a bunch of friends that I know and myself who are dating people. And do you realize that I don't know if this is happening in your world, but people are not becoming friends with people they're dating on Facebook right away. Like, I think it's too soon. You wait, like, at least a month or two. What, they're dating someone until you become friends on Facebook. Like, no one, neither person wants to. But of course, you, like, see their profile. You can see as much as they'll. But you don't become friends. It becomes like a moment in your relationship when you become friends. But it's not like, hey, want to go on a date Tuesday? And then someone asks you to be friends. I feel like there's this certain waiting period, like about 30 to 60 days before people are actually becoming friends. If you're dating someone, if you're not dating, fine, become friends right away. But if you're dating, you don't become Facebook friends right away because it reveals so much about your life. And it's almost like, why even. Why. How are we even going to get to start to know each other? You're going to see the 10 parties I went to last week, or all these people that I'm. Whatever, writing on my wall. And I think it's good to keep a little of that anonymous. It's like opening up your entire world to them in like five seconds.

And then it's become such a detective service. I know once you say, tell all your friends, like, oh, I'm gonna go out on a date with this guy. And they're like, oh, let me see his Facebook page.

Exactly.

Then. So they.

Do surveillance on the Facebook page when you're not watching it.

Exactly.

So they're like, oh, I saw him. He just posted this thing, you know.

Or you log, I've logged into a friend's Facebook to see a guy that I wasn't dating anymore. This actually is one of the letters someone emailed in about emails about, should you be friends with your exes on Facebook? We'll get into that later. But it's like, should, you know, do you think that you should be friends with your exes on Facebook? I Feel like it depends on the ex. Some exes have defriended me because they just didn't want to see what was up with me. But, like, my exes from 10 years ago, we're all friends on Facebook.

Yeah, I don't care personally.

Right. I don't care either. I'm like, you can see my world. What do I care? I really don't. So I think so then. Okay, so then this week, I was a total. I was like MacGyver. So here's the thing. This guy, I really was. I have to say that this is another thing about what I realized, having a man in my life. This guy was here last weekend for two nights, and there were certain things that were really good about having a man around. And I realized since I don't have a man around, like, he. He fixed my shelf, which has been broken for five. He fixed the light in my car. This sounds really silly, but, you know when you turn off the lights to your car, the light goes on so you can see it, and then you shut the door and the light turns off. Well, for the three years I've had my car, I have to manually turn it on because some switch got hit that never. And he fixed it, and literally, it changed my life. I'm so happy getting out of the car now, and I'm like, I need a man in my life just to come and fix shit, just to kind of make things work smoothly. He fixed my shelf. He fixed that. He did something else. I'm like, he's a good guy. Men are important. They can be good for those things. And sex, of course. But the sex is, you know, interesting. Yeah, I talk about my sex life a lot. Don't. I was talking to these guys last week. You don't talk about your sex life enough.

While you've apparently said you haven't had.

A sex life, I haven't had sex. And I have had sex now lately, I guess. I know this is such a.

You're just sweeping on love. This is supposed to be, like a big thing.

I know. I know this is a big thing. And I did have sex. So I feel like I was interviewed by this other guy who has a podcast, and he interviewed me, and he's like, have you had sex? I'm like, yes. I'm like, oh, my God. I haven't even talked, told my listeners that I had sex. Wow. So I did have sex. It was uneventful.

Wow. How'd this happen?

I hope to God that people don't listen to the show that I have sex with. It was just fine. I just. How did this happen? We were dating for a little bit. One of the guys I was dating and we had sex and it was. It was interesting. It was good. It wasn't like earth shattering amazing, but it was good.

Was there wine?

Was there wine involved? Yeah, we had a few glasses of wine.

Yeah. Okay. I'm just trying to see how this went down.

So it went down well. We had been dating. We got on a few dates and several for like two months. And then we had sex. And it was just. I don't know, I think that you cannot. This is an important point. You cannot judge sex on the first time you have sex with someone. You just can't. Because sex can definitely get better over time. In fact, usually it does. And so, I mean, I've had a lot of friends. My friend just had sex with a guy for the first time and she called me and she's like, oh, my God, it was really bad. He didn't get that hard. And da, da. But I think a lot of times men are nervous at the beginning the first time they have sex sometimes. Do you ever get nervous the first time?

Yeah, the first time.

Yeah. And you're like, you want to perform and you're like, oh, my God. And so much of sexual issues that men have, like they can't get her hard or they can't stay hard. It has to do with psychological functioning, like they're nervous or whatever. So I just think you got to give people a chance so I'll give them a chance. So I did have sex. Whatever. Didn't like, rock my world.

But was it just one time? Yeah, just one time.

Just one time.

Okay. Liar. Why are you lying?

I'm not lying. It's true. It was one time. It was one time. It was fine. And that's so many lies. I don't lie.

You get married under the lies?

No.

Then why are you smiling so much?

I'm not smiling. No, but it was good. It was interesting.

Okay.

Oh, my God. But someone was saying, like, you don't talk about your own sex. I was like, I do, though, talk about my sex life. But I could get into it more. Maybe I will in recent weeks since I was off of it for so long. But what I'm saying is my life is perfectly full and fine without it right now, which is ironic because I have a sex show. But it also seems that the thing that is so lately that has been interesting too, is that. And I talked to this guy about it because Having the sex talk show that I think they got. And I mentioned this, I think, a few weeks ago, that the number one question that I get asked and that guys get asked when they're dating me is like, are men intimidated by you? Do they think they. Oh, you know, everything, and you're the sex expert. And I do not think of myself, though, even though I guess I am a byproduct of doing the show for five years and I know a ton about sex, and I'm in sex school. But I never really thought, because I'm a whole person and I'm not just sex with Emily, that someone get intimidated. But sure enough, this guy told me that, like, it did make him a little nervous. So I think that this question he'll ask me is kind of true, that people get, like, a little tripped up on it. Like, is she expecting certain things? And do I have to do backflips? And. And I don't.

I would just be afraid that I would suck, and then you would tell everybody about it.

I don't talk about. I don't name names like you just did.

I don't name names.

It was uneventful.

Did I say that?

And it was pretty much. You're saying it was awful.

No, it wasn't awful. It just wasn't like, oh, my God, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah. And I've had those experiences too, but I think maybe we're both a little rusty. I don't know. So there you have it. Okay. Should we. What? What were you gonna say?

No, no, I was gonna wait for you. Go to the next thing.

You're done.

I'm done.

Let's move into some sex in the news.

Yeah, the sex sucked, and we're moving on.

Honey, don't. Don't encapsulate that, because I don't know who listens to the shows. And it's so funny because. Do you remember this last year, I was dating this guy.

Yeah.

And he said that. He's like, I don't listen to your show. I've never. Oh, yeah, when is it? He made it. Like, what is it? It's a pod. What?

So sure enough, I came on the show and I said, menace. I dated this guy, and he babed me on the second date. He's like, hey, babe. Downstairs. Yeah, I just got prematurely babed. So he heard me say that. And then, like, the next day, he texted me. He's like, hey, babe. Ha ha ha. And I'm like, I thought you don't listen to my show so. They do listen so well, you should.

Tell them if you're gonna listen to my show. Don't be a pussy.

Exactly.

Yeah.

FYI, Menace says, don't be a pussy.

Don't be a pussy, and don't be a crybaby.

You're right.

When we say when we talk about.

Stuff, I'm gonna get material if I'm not dating you and sleeping with you and okay. Sex in the news Awkward George Bush reveals he drunkenly asked about female guests sex life during dinner party with his parents. This was a long time ago. Me noted that George Bush used to have a drinking problem.

Yes.

Or some would say once you have a drinking problem, you always I've seen videos of him. Really?

There's videos on the Internet? Oh, I've never seen it wasted.

Awesome. Love to see those. Former U.S. president George Bush has revealed he once got so drunk he questioned a woman about her sex life in front of his wife and parents. Mr. Bush, who said he quit drinking in 1986, said in an interview with the Today show he asked his parents friends the inappropriate questions during a dinner. His outburst was greeted with total silence and serious daggers from the guest. So I'm drunk at the dinner table at Mother and Dad's house in Maine, he told host Matt Lauer in his first TV interview since leaving the White House. And my brothers and sisters are there, my wife Laura's there, and I'm sitting next to a beautiful woman, a friend of mothers and dads, who says Mother and Dad. And I said to her out loud, what is sex life after? What is sex like after 50? The woman who was not named, saw the funny side. Eventually, he said, because when the former Texas governor turned 50, she sent him a note asking, well, George, how is the sex? Mr. Bush, 64, said he had a love affair with alcohol but never thought about having a drink while he was in the White House. Right after I quit drinking, I was thinking about drinking, he said. But by the time I got to the White House, I hadn't had a drink in a very long time. So George Bush is interested in sex. How about that?

I like that. It sounds like George Bush was a guy that you would want to party with.

It sounds exactly. It sounds like he needs another drink, maybe because then he'd be more fun. Maybe he should have had a drink when he was in the White House and we'd be in a better situation right now.

I don't know.

Can you imagine him sitting there at dinner, like, with his parents being like, so how's your sex life? But I love that the woman remembered and like circled back years later and was like, how's your sex life?

That's awesome.

Awesome. Okay. Sex toy drive thru in Alabama shop is to offer window service. So they're a sex shop and they're, they're opening a drive through sex shop in Huntsville, Alabama. Pleasures, a one stop romance shop that challenged Alabama's ban on sex toys, has a unique claim to fame. It will feature three sex toy drive thru lanes at its new University Drive location. 3, 3. And first of all, they're out there. They're outlawed. Sex toys are out. Do you know sex toys are still outlawed in like two to three states? I'm not sure which ones. I think like Texas is one and Alabama. Yeah. You can't have sex like literally they're illegal to have sex toys. I mean they still have them, but they're illegal.

Move to Texas.

What? Oh, you should move to Texas. You won't have to hear me talking about sex toys with you.

That's why I'm going to Austin. Just because they don't like sex toys.

Exactly. I'm going to put some contraband in your bag and get you arrested. Pleasures owner Cherry Williams said the store will be the first such store in the country to sell adult toys through a drive through window. Items such as toys, lubes and stimulants will be delivered through the drive thru drawer in a brown paper bag, according to the store news release. So yeah, they're not allowed there. The case it says that they are. Williams and her store drew national attention during a legal fight that sought to overturn Alabama's ban on sex toys on the ground of a constitutional right to privacy. So they're still opening the store even though it's illegal. How about that? Would you go through a drive thru stack store? I would.

I'm not. Well, actually I am surprised. No, I am surprised that it took so long for this to happen because when I was driving across country, I was driving through like Wyoming and I don't know what other states that I saw this but on the side of the freeway there would be nothing around. It would just be fields and then there's just a sex shop right on the side of the freeway.

Yeah, we had those in Michigan. It was called Velvet Touch and we used to drive up to school and we'd be like, oh my God, Velvet. It was like dirty old men smoking cigars and yeah, so it wasn't like a nice, like a good vibrations like.

What we have In San Francisco it would have been. I think it would be more convenient for those shops that are on the side of the freeway.

Exactly. To be. Drive through.

Drive through.

I know, maybe we'll start that here on the freeway. It's a good business. Maybe we'll see what happens in Alabama. But I appreciate them challenging the legislation. Okay. Couples give out condoms to trick or treaters. Having a safe Halloween took on a different meeting in one Oregon neighborhood where trick or treating teenagers received condoms in their goody bags. Danielle and Kathleen Harris of Silverton, Oregon tell the Statesman Journal the free condoms were part of their effort to promote health. They handed out. They also handed out toothbrushes as well as candy bars. The father of one 14 year old girl who received the condoms, Danielle Kate, was offended and said it was inappropriate to give them children without parents consent. Kathleen Harris says giving the condom to the 14 year old was, oops, a mistake. She says their usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 or older and giving them a speech on safe sex. I just wanted one like a three Musketeers. I would not want a condom. Yeah, I always hated those people that gave you toothbrushes and apples. I was like, really? Like, give me a baby pennies. Those were always about. But condoms you can't get. How are you gonna tell if someone. You're like, hello. First of all, that makes your job a lot harder as the one handing out candy. You're like, what are you checking IDs? You deserve a condom. I mean, I appreciate that the parents want to promote good sex, but healthy sex life. But I don't think you should be giving condoms on Halloween.

No, you shouldn't.

Kind of a buzzkill. So that's what happened there. All right, that's my sex in the news for today.

Good. I like it. I liked all the stories you did, especially George Bush. George Bush knows how to party. Even though I'm not supporting George Bush, I really like, extremely do not care about politics.

Right.

But to hear fun stories about people getting wasted, I support that.

Yeah, you do. I know you do, honey. George Bush getting. Yeah. You always heard stories about him. Like partying college.

Yeah, definitely. If you Google, I've seen them. There's funny videos of him wasted at parties, talking into cameras.

See, but that makes me nervous when people just quit drinking without a program. Like I have a lot of friends who are an AA or several friends. Not like all my friends, but. Or an Alcoholics Anonymous. Like it's good to have a program. And sometimes when you just Quit drinking, you become like a dry drunk, and you don't really have an outlet for it to release those feelings that come along with not drinking if you're addicted to drinking. So I wonder if he's gotten any help for his drinking, not drinking.

Oh, I'm sure he has.

I don't know. Hope not. He might start drinking again. What's he got to do now? He just wrote a book.

He's hanging out on the ranch.

He's hanging out with his security. Did you watch him during the World Series? During the World Series, no. Did you watch any of the games?

I watched the second game and the last game.

Did I tell you this last week? That I got stuck. I did. That I got stuck in the Giants parade?

Yes.

Like, with a million people, and I couldn't move, and I was sweating and scared and, like, couldn't move. Like, it was, like, crowd mentality. Okay, let's move into some mail here.

Okay.

All right.

My favorite part. I know I need to mention that every single time.

Every time. Just wanted to say I love the 70s porn and the hairy bush may not be in vogue. I'm only 24, and I tell my wife to keep the bush. Not out of control, but natural is fine with me. Signed, Jim. So this was coming on the heels of me talking about my sex school class where I had to watch, like, 50 films of the biggest bushes you've ever seen. And they're not just like the bushes, like, they grow. It's like everywhere. Onto the legs, onto the legs, onto the behind. I mean, it is. They didn't. They didn't shave. Like, they weren't trimming, they weren't shaving. But. But this guy's 24 and he likes.

It, and I think something's wrong with him. He needs a therapist.

Stop it. I find that interesting because I've heard stories lately about kids, people, adults who are 20, in their 20s, who actually never have seen the bushes that we've seen growing up.

Yes.

Like in Playboy or whatever. Like, you saw Playboy growing up, right?

Yeah.

And you saw the bushes.

Yes.

And then now I was frightened then. Were you? No.

You were. That this was not good.

That was the norm then. No, you weren't.

I swear.

You were scared of the bush then.

I was like, this is not good.

I was. I was, like, thinking that was the norm. They weren't going, oh, I wish people. Guys weren't, like, masturbating a Playboy going, I wish you'd only shave. It'd be hotter. They weren't thinking that Then because it was part of the norm. No, they weren't. But I like. This is so interesting that he likes it. A 24 year old. I'm totally down with that. Whatever turns you on.

Where's he from? Europe.

He is from. He doesn't say where he's from. That's probably why now. I don't know. Hi, Emily. I'm enjoying the podcast via Sketcher, but he probably means Stitcher.

Yes, he does.

Stitcher is an app that you can. We get so many listeners through Stitcher. It's an app that you can download for your smartphone and listen to all the shows, which is a great way.

And then once you download it, you just search Sex with Emily.

Yeah, and then we're right there. Last week you and Menace talked about a few interesting subjects. One was gold diggers in San Francisco. Well, they're the same in New York. All of the girls are looking for men who can get them out of debt. Depressing. Also going to the nude beach. It's not all bad at Haulover beach in Miami. Lots of hot ladies and men and of course a fair share of gay and some not so hot looking hot looking bodies. But it's all good. We go for a week every year with friends and have the best time. The people are much more outgoing than on a textile beach. We meet the best friends there last. Have you ever tried horny goat weed?

Oh God.

It's a natural stimulant. I'm curious about it and I'm wondering if you or anyone from your audience has ever tried it. Keep up with the good work and don't forget to delete that picture of your vajayjay on your phone. Jim from it doesn't say where he's from, so. Jim. So yeah, I took a picture. Okay. So backing up, I for my sex class had to take a picture of my vagina and draw a picture of it and then I deleted it soon after because it was scared me.

You know that never really deletes. It's a hard drive. No, you're gonna have to put a drill through.

Deleted. It's really not.

What do I. I don't work with computers every single day.

So it's really in my phone. Yeah, but like can Verizon upload it.

Or something retrieved some way?

Can you make sure that that doesn't. It was scary. Not that I have a scary vagina. I have a nice vagina. I think it's pretty.

You're gonna have to put a drill through the phone.

But it was really close up, you know, close up photos where it was like, whoa. But I had to draw a picture anyway. And then. Gold diggers. Gold diggers. We got an email last week from someone saying there was tons of gold diggers in Chicago too. They're everywhere.

There's. Yeah, they're all been a gold digger.

In my next life, I'm gonna be a gold digger for sure. I'm just gonna marry rich and call it.

My friends have been saying lately, like, you, to even get like a decent woman these days, you have to, you know, have your own apartment, have a nice car and a good job.

Yeah. What's wrong with that, huh? Well, the age you are. Yeah, you.

How old are you?

You're 30. I mean, I would want a guy at 30 to not to have roommates.

Have a car would be nice. And to have a job. Not because I want him to buy me things, because it shows that he's responsible.

Going, that's great. But it's not. It's not good times right now. So it's not easy for everybody to have all those things.

Right. But it's not hot when they don't. But I understand people don't. No, no, no, no. But I don't discriminate. Again, if a guy's like looking for work or whatever, that's fine. But I can understand. It's not necessarily your gold digger. It's just more like. Again.

Yeah, but the messed up part is they, they're not the same way. It's not like they have all those things.

Also, the women I know. Well, because that's. It's societal. It's societal.

Oh, okay. It's a societal.

Well, it is kind of a man who has a job and can be the caretaker and the hunter and the gatherer and all that stuff.

So gold diggers.

Not gold diggers. Just.

Just, Just digging for gold.

Digging for men who they got their.

Mining hats on and they're digging for.

A man who's not home playing video games all day, who has a real job.

Yeah. I'm not saying that you're talking extremes. I'm just talking that it's not easy these days to have fun.

It's not easy to find. Right, Exactly. But you do. I believe that anyone, whatever. The economy is hard right now. It's a hard time. So I'm not gonna believe that everyone can find something, but hopefully, you know, there's ways to make things happen in the world. Okay, this is for you, Menace.

Yes.

I hesitate against reading this, but I'm reading It anyway. Hey, dude. Hey, dude. So you die. Hesitated for about two seconds. Hey, dude. So you don't like handjobs, you don't like your balls to be touched, but you've tasered yourself in the balls ten times. What's wrong with this picture? A loyal listener since August 2010.

I only tase my balls for work purposes.

Was that in the comments?

Not because I.

Was that legal?

I don't know if it's legal, but it's not because, oh, I really want my balls taste today. No, it's. I did morning radio, and you do wacky, stupid stunts like that, like, you know.

But you don't like your balls to be touched. I don't find that interesting.

I just. I just don't.

I don't. Again, what's wrong with it? Going back to the hand job. Sorry to bring it up. I think that you haven't had a woman handle your balls correctly. And you haven't had a hand job correctly.

Yes, that's what they all say.

I am never wavering on this point. And one day, Menace, you're gonna call me. You're gonna be like, you were right about the balls, and you were right about the hand job, and I can't wait for that day. And I'll wait. I'll wait, but it'll happen. I know it.

People are living a lot longer these days.

Exactly.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex. Sinclair Institute, the leader in sex education products for adults, has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find Sinclair's ad on my products page on my website, sexwithemily.com and save 50% off any one item when you put in Emily 50 at checkout. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve. Hey, Emily. Menis. First off, I did not stumble upon the podcast. It was not an accident, nor was it by chance. I love sex. I searched for sex, and immediately my eyes were drawn to your show. I listen on my ipod at work since I drive a cube van all day. And your show definitely takes away the boredom. Okay, here's my beef. Several shows ago, you talked about circumcision and how it's on the decline in some areas. And your discussion waved back and forth around cleanliness and whether or not it's ugly. First off, I'm pro circumcision, and I'm not circumcised for one. It's obviously cleaner if circumcised. And as an uncircumcised male. It's ugly if it's not circumcised. But you miss two key things, which in my opinion, is why women should have the least amount of say in the choice. I am by no means a minute man, but I don't last longer than five minutes usually. And I know it's because it is so sensitive that sex just feels too good. If I were circumcised, that sensation would be nowhere near as intense and sex would last longer and I wouldn't feel so inadequate. I would circumcise myself. I would circumcise myself now at the age of 28, but I don't know that I could bear the intense change now that I'm a conscious adult, not a newborn baby. Lastly, in something you likely never think of, the frenulum. I have a short one. Sex hurt. That's something in the area in the penis, underneath the penis.

It hurts unless there's a lot of lube. Natural. Otherwise. Getting oral sex with a new girlfriend was agony. Anticipating her pulling the foreskin back too far and the pain of it telling her about after and her not understanding what I meant. Circumcision should be mandatory. That brings me to my final comment. Ugh. Menace is right. Girls can't give handjobs. They just don't understand where and how it feels good or when. Certain times require certain moves.

Amen.

Thanks, guys. I love the show immensely. James from Petersboro, Ontario, I love that email.

It's a big. Beautifully written.

It was beautifully written. And that's interesting because the circumcision debate is huge. And he's saying he wishes he was circumcised. And the whole movement right now is to not circumcise men and to say that there is more sensation that we're cutting off. Essentially the most sensitive part while he's saying, yeah, I'm a lot more sensitive than a circumcised man, but I'm so sensitive that I. Orgasm in five minutes.

Yeah.

So catch 22. Do you want to have this intense sensation but only lasts five minutes or. But it's hard to say. How do you know what you can't. Like, could you imagine sitting down with a circumcised. An uncircumcised man. A circumcised. Uncircumcised, because I assume you're circumcised. So can you imagine sitting down? He's like, oh, it feels so good. You're like, oh, it feels so good. Like, how would you even compare. What good is you can't like my orgasm as good as your orgasm? I don't know. But I always assume everyone's orgasms are better than mine. My own inferiority complex. How about that? Okay. Bonjour. Hello. Found you all on stitcher Emily concerning Chris bringing his lady to orgasm via breasts. This is a letter we read a few weeks ago. I've been for years bringing my wife to orgasm as my usual foreplay prior to intercourse. She is way wet after this. My pinching, flicking, sucking both nipples at the same time for about 40 minutes drives her nuts. For me, there's no relation to small breasts. My wife is lovely. 36C breasts. I also do this to her while she is having her period and is not capable to have intercourse for about a week and a half. Sincere apologies about my previous long winded message. Please do advise on my question concerning laser hair removal on facial and breasts for my wife. I think we did comment on this last week. PS Menace pre gaming is essential for me and avoids any possible early delivery and I can keep ready much longer. Mayor C. Thanks, Michel. Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Ooh, and Sarah sounds way hot. Reminded me of a fantasy of a woman effing me with a strap on. Sarah was on our show last week. She's my sex school friend who talked all about strap ons and stuff like that. People love that show. Sarah, she was dirty and great.

I can imagine.

So okay, so he wife has orgasm through breasts. I have a few friends like that and I hate them. They're so lucky.

I just remember now a girl that I dated about 12 years ago that she would go crazy when I would touch her breasts. I need to mess around with her now because she had breast implants now. So I gotta see.

Oh my God, there's a difference. Why would you get breast implants if you could orgasm through your? Why would you take that risk of taking that away?

She wanted them.

Oh God, she's so lucky. I have friends like that and they're like oh yeah, touch my breasts. I had an orgasm. I'm like, that doesn't happen to me. Although maybe my breasts haven't been touched correctly.

So you touched their breasts and gave them orgasm?

Me? No, I'm saying my friends, you should try that. I'm saying I have girlfriends who can have orgasms when their breasts are touched just like that.

You should test the theory to make sure it's legit.

I should touch their breasts?

Yeah, just to make sure.

I don't know that I would turn them on Some of my friends. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I don't know.

You should say it's part of school and, like, do research.

There is this one class that I have to take in my school that it's called a SARS class. And it's. Every sexologist has to take it, and you have to do hands on sex probing. Like stick your fingers up people's butts and stuff.

Where in my sex school did you get the pic? Nose butt?

No, I swear. You? Prostate. Prostate massage.

What?

And you get naked. I swear. And this is every sexologist around the country. It's not just my crazy school. It's called sars. And I'm gonna have to do it in February.

Sars? Hello. I don't know if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, but it's called sexual attitude restructuring. Something else with the S. I don't know.

And you don't even get to pick.

No, you get, like, the big guy in class that you don't want to talk to, Whatever. I don't know.

And then you have to put your finger in his butt.

Well, I'm not. It's an optional class, but I hear that it's groundbreaking and that you learn so much about yourself and about your sexuality. And I just feel like. Part of me feels like since it scares me so much about sticking my finger with a glove up someone else's butt, that I should probably do it.

Okay.

But I haven't decided yet. It's an optional class. It's not one of the required classes.

Now somebody has to stick their finger in your butt, too.

Exactly. I'm not done with that either right now. Like a random finger, but apparently they train you for it. And it's not like the first day they're like, here's a glove and put the glove on and stick it in. Like, they're not doing that. But it is.

They trained you to put a finger in somebody's hand.

It's called a prostate massage. You might like it if I learn. I would do one for you if you wanted to. Just only if you wanted to.

Wow. Thank you.

You're welcome. Okay. Hey, Emily and Menace. Oh, here's the Facebook question. One simple question. Can you be friends on Facebook with your exes and. Or past sexual partners if you're in a relationship? My boyfriend and I are debating this. However, for his compromise, I've deleted all my exes and past sexual partners from my Facebook. His theory is, if you and I cannot be in a room with them without feeling Awkward. Then they shouldn't be your friend on Facebook. I see his side, but what do you think? Can't wait to hear Menace's theory on this one. Thanks. Michelle from Baltimore.

Lot of Michelle's.

What?

A lot of Michelle's.

A lot of Michelle's. Yeah, I think that. I think that it's case by case basis about being friends with your ex. There's some exes. Like, I broke up with a guy two years ago and he was not happy that we broke up and the first day he defriended me. So I was fine with that. I have exes from college exes. People I've slept with on my Facebook. I mean, I don't think I delete everyone that I've ever slept with, but however, I'm not in a relationship. I can understand that. When you're in a relationship, you discuss. Okay, today's the day that we're putting we are in a relationship on our Facebook status. And you should delete other things.

That's a big deal.

I mean, I think if you still have feelings for somebody or you're still stalking their page, maybe it's healthy not to have it on there. Healthy to have exes on there. But I don't really have a problem with it unless they have a problem with me and then they delete me. But I have never defriended anybody except for annoying people who send me imitations of things all the time.

I delete people or they comment on every single thing I do.

Exactly. Delete. What do you think about being friends with your exes or past sexual partners on Facebook?

I don't care. And the person that I'm with, if she is friends with other people, I don't care. This is the thing. Why do you care? You are afraid that that person might cheat on you. That's.

That's pretty much her boyfriend is driving this thing and saying, delete all your apps. Patch sexual.

They're afraid even it's like emotional or if it's physical, it's. It's all about a whole cheating thing.

Right.

And my theory is it doesn't matter if it's Facebook. Facebook definitely makes it a thousand times easier. But if that person is gonna cheat on you, they're gonna cheat on you no matter what. You can't stop it.

You can't.

You can't. So happen.

Facebook happens all the time. You know, people are always. Yeah, Facebook is like taking over the world.

It is.

It literally is taking over every.

Every cubicle I walk by, somebody's on Facebook.

Every day. I noticed all the time, if I'm.

Walking down the street, somebody's looking at their phone, they're looking at Facebook.

Exactly. I'm in the elevator, someone's like. And like, I saw like older women, younger women, men, older. Everyone's looking at their face. They're walking along, about to get hit by a bus, reading their status updates or whatever. And it's crazy how much it is and everything you can log into using Facebook. It kind of scares me a little bit sometimes.

So again, if somebody I know, Facebook makes it really easy for these people if they are gonna cheat on you.

Right.

To do it. But from having to block your, the person that you have in the relationship with, from not talking to anybody else, they'll still have another avenue if they are gonna cheat on you.

Exactly.

It doesn't matter.

They're still gonna cheat. I actually blocked the first person from Facebook. Have you ever blocked anyone? Yeah, but I had an ex, psycho ex that ended badly because that I defriended, or he defraud. I defriended him because it was crazy. And then six months later, he tried to be my friend again. He's like, hey, let's be friends. And I just blocked him completely from seeing my whole profile. But that was because, oh, here's a new thing.

Here's a new thing. A lot of people won't know if they're, if they're out trying to be a player. They're gonna get caught up with this. So you know how you have Facebook check ins, right? Like there's a new thing where you can be at a location and you click check in and it'll say, oh, I'm at a certain nightclub or I'm at the Gap or something.

Right.

Well, if somebody, if you're with somebody and they're checking in, they can type in your name, okay. And then click check in. And that takes your profile and just automatically notifies everybody else that you're with that person at that location.

Oh, I would never want that.

Well, it can happen to you right now. So I'm gonna have to help you change your settings. So people look into your settings in the check in settings and turn it off. If you, if you're out hanging out with multiple people, I don't want anyone.

To know where I am ever.

So.

Okay, teach me how to do that later.

Yes. So just a warning out there. I was hanging out.

We do every week. You tell me what to do and I'm like, I'm totally gonna do that. And then I don't do it.

Well, we can do it right after the show. We can change.

Perfect. That's.

But, yeah, I just found that out because I was. I was. I wasn't out trying to be a player, but I was hanging out with my buddy, and he checked me in, hanging out with him, and it notified all my friends on my page, and they knew exactly where I was at.

I don't like that.

Yeah.

I don't want people to know how my biz.

Well, there's, like. There's websites built on that where people are checking in, where I know, like, they make it into a game. Yeah.

Four square and all that stuff. I don't do that stuff. I probably should, but I don't. I mean, I probably should do more of this.

This is what I do. Yeah. This is what I do. On Foursquare, I always check in when I'm leaving, never when I'm actually there. So if you guys are friends with me on Foursquare, you're not gonna find me.

It's good to know all your fans just. Just cried a little.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I heard a collective sigh and cry.

But I never know who's looking at my stuff, so I know.

You never know. Okay, let's move into some sex tips.

Yes.

Yes. All right, so this is how a man can make the sex better for the woman.

Really?

Yeah. And these are some things, you know, that we've gone through, but I think that these are really some really good, basic things that people can do.

To make sex better for the girl.

Okay, 10.

Number 10. Okay, blindfold her. Okay. We've talked about blindfold before. You don't want to be blindfolded because you're afraid she's gonna steal your wallet.

She's gonna steal my wallet and set my house on fire. But you are big into the blindfold.

I love the blindfold. Like, you cannot blindfold me enough. Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. You know, the brain is our largest and most impressive sex organ. When one sense is hindered, our other senses via the brain clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness of sight, smell, touch, and vibration. So the thing is, if you are blindfolding your partner, it increases her sensory awareness. She doesn't know where you are, what you're going to do next. And this creates anticipation, and this creates the whole spiking of the dopamine and all that, because it's anticipation and it's exciting. This is also a way Just to spice up your sex life. Why are you smiling and laughing at me? Because you're never going to do it.

No, no, no, no. Sorry. I was having a discussion the other night with my roommates, and we were talking. We're looking up. There's a website called Urban Dictionary, Right? So I knew all these, like, crazy sex positions and things to do, and I told them to type in Stevie Wonder. So when you said, like, not be able to see anything, there's a thing called the Stevie Wonder.

Really?

Look it up.

Okay, well, look it up. But here's the thing, is that it creates anticipation for sex if you tease her mercilessly with. Mercilessly. I can't say that word mercilessly with sensory objects. Does a feather or your tongue start off softly as this excites her nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. So it is true that when you are blindfolded that you. It's just. It just feels cool. It's like. It's just hot. Like, just try it. If you've never done. It doesn't have to be a whole thing. You can take, like, a scarf. You can take, like, a tie or whatever, like a necktie. And just do it one night. Just be like, hey, baby, here's a glass of wine. Lay down. I'm gonna blindfold you. And I'm gonna tickle you, tease you, and do something to you, and then feel really good. And you can do it to the guy, too.

Yeah. I mean, what do you. I mean, what do you do exactly?

Okay, so exactly. Well, when I blame. I talked about this before when I blindfolded a guy once or a few times I've done it. But I know that I drove him insane because I used my bondage tape, which I love. Which you can get@adamandeve.com, which I'm gonna get into right now. Adam and Eve is one of our sponsors. And you guys have got to check this deal that they're having. You gotta jump on it because it's for sex. With Emily. Loyal listeners. And you get to 50 off most items that you buy. 50 off of anything you buy. And they throw in three adult DVDs and a free gift, plus free shipping. If you go to AdamAndEve.com, enter coupon code Emily at checkout. You should buy some bondage tape. I love bondage tape. And bondage tape is, like, this amazing tape that looks like electrical tape, but it doesn't stick to you. I've talked about this before. So, anyway, I had just gotten my Bondage tape. I was way into it, and I blindfolded him. And then I went into the kitchen and I came back and I had ice cubes in a bowl, and I had some, like, chocolate sauce and, like, a feather. And he was blindfolded and didn't know what I was gonna do. And so, like, I put an ice cube in my mouth and, like, dribbled it down his back, and it was, like, really cold. And then I had a candle that dripped hot wax. They have these candles. Oh, you should go to Adam and Eve and buy one of these candles that. That are. They burn at a certain temperature so it's not too hot. But the. Once they heat up, they smell amazing. And then you can pour it on. It's amazing.

It's like a Ricky Martin video.

You pour it on the body. I don't even know what that means.

He did that in a video where he had wax poured on him.

Okay. Hot. And it turns into massage oil. But it feels really good as it's dripping on you. But he doesn't know because he's blindfolded, so it drove him crazy. And then he did the ice and the feathers, and it was really hot. So do that to the girl. It was hot. I have to say that it was one of the highlights of our sexual relationship.

Well, people try it out and then report back to us at sex with them.

Yep, exactly. Okay. Another thing is massage. I cannot. We've talked about massage before, but massage is great because especially if you're a couple who's like, it's gotten kind of boring, or you're not that turned on anymore, or you haven't. You do have sex the same way every time. Start with a massage. Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner, which is why it makes it into this tips of this sex. List of great tips. Our bodies are, without exception, tense in some areas, if not many. This hinders our energy flow, including sexual energy flow. Imagine that a car has a clogged fuel filter. The fuel. Our energy can't get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly. When the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively. A relax. This is key. A relaxing central massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. So think about how the tension and the stress that we carry. The second massage isn't just like, this luxury like, oh, give me. It's, like, really relaxes you. It releases all that tension, and your body's Freer and more open to sex. So give her a massage. Yeah, give him a massage.

I've only found one girl that could give me a good massage.

Really?

Unfortunately, she lives in New York now, so I'm screwed, but everybody else just sucks.

Really? Yeah, they just can't do it.

They can't do it the same.

There's only one girl that can do it, right?

You have had good hand jobs. You haven't had good oral sex. I don't think you have been boss.

Oral sex is. Yeah, you've had good oral sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine.

No one's touched your balls appropriately. And massage only one girl out there. Who are you dating? Like, I don't understand why you haven't had any of these good things. And I just want them for you as someone who cares about you. I want your balls to be touched in a lovely way.

Oh, thank you.

That feels really good.

I like that.

I want that for you, Menace.

Thank you.

Yeah. Okay, one more.

Yes.

Okay. Tell her your fantasies.

Very quick, though. Sorry.

Tell her your fantasies. Talking about your fantasies with your partner is a very conducive form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner, which is great importance as well as it helps get you helped. Helps you guys get to know each other. You may be surprised what comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first. Don't throw in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fantasies you aren't sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine. Keep your clothes on. Fantasy plays can be incorporated into a game for better sex. So a lot of times women might say, oh, I don't have. I don't. I don't have fantasy. I don't know, I don't. Maybe they don't like. Women don't have as many typically don't have as rich of a fantasy life. I'm not gonna say that. Scratch that. Women do a rich fantasy life. They might not want to share it with you. And so there's just ways to talk about, well, if she says she doesn't have fantasy, ask her, what if she could have sex in any way, what would it be? Or what's her most memorable, like, experience with you with partner? You don't want to hear about the last guy she banged, but is there something that you've done and then you can go from there? Well, she might say, I love that time when you gave me massage, for example, and I love the way you touched my right arm. I mean, women have sensations all over their bodies in places where you don't even know. So then you learn, oh, she's really sensitive in her arm. So just have these conversations with your partner. Okay?

All right.

That's what I got to say about it. All right, that's all I've got time for now. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com.

So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles? Okay, so get this. I always light candles when I'm enjoying a glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aromatherapy massage oils that when warmed like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use during foreplay. And you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fougere. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today@emilyandtoni.com and you're welcome.

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