SWE: The Ex Factor

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the Kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where your sex will improve. Not only that, we've got a brand new friggin website, and I'm excited to announce it.

I know. Insane.

Insane. It should be up right now.

All right.

Yeah. It should be working for y'. All. And our. So our show is now free. Every day it's free.

It's back to being free.

It's back to being free. It wasn't always free. We did a little trial run here, and now we're going free. So everyone should get their money back and be happy if you pay for it.

Shut up.

Shut the hell up. Okay, everyone just shut the hell up. Sorry. We also took a break this week a little bit because we've been. We've got a lot going on. We've got a lot.

Dude, you have a television show launching. It's gonna be insane. Misadvised On Bravo Monday.

10Pm you can start dving our right now.

Yeah, DVR right now. If you're listening to this, walk over to your television set and DVR it. And it's gonna be awesome. And we are very excited about it. It's called Misadvised. Yep. I'm Bravo.

Hashtag missadvised on Twitter because a lot of people are communicating on Twitter about the show. And I started smiling as the intro played because I remember there was so much stuff that I wanted to tell you about conversations people are having.

Okay, talk to me.

Insane. So here's one of my favorite conversations I saw, because once you click on misadvise, the hashtag, it's like. It's like pretty much like a big chat room.

Right?

So I saw this tweet that this guy said where he was tweeting a girl named Julia Allison, who is also a girl on the television show. Right.

With me. Yep.

Hey, do you have sex with Emily's number? I'm in. I'm in town for a couple of days in San Francisco.

Right, right.

She said her favorite call is a booty call. Right.

Right, right. So then I saw this guy tweet again, and he tweeted you. I don't know if you saw it, but he was like, hey, I'm in town for a couple.

I did see that.

We should meet up. Oh, my God, dude.

What's gonna happen to my life?

You might have thought you were a floozy.

There is a lot Okay, I have to admit that the first episode, I look like a total floozy. And I don't know if I look like one or I am one.

The first episode.

Okay? Every episode.

Every episode.

God, the first episode, there's, like, 16 sex references to, like, threesomes and everything. It's crazy.

Yeah. And there was that. And then my buddy the other day was tweeting saying that you were a dime piece. Oh, my God, that's nice. And we were talking on the phone the other day, we got to address this, and you're like, oh, I don't like all the attention. I'm not going to want all the attention. I'm like, yeah, right. I go, you live off attention. You don't even eat food. That's what. That's your. Your main life.

My sustenance? No, your life Source. I like attention from people that I know, but I don't know about tension from people I don't know.

God, you're going to be, like, smiling and flipping your hair at every single person that recognizes you.

I don't think so. I don't think I want to be recognized in my uggs, in my same T shirt that I've been wearing for six days, walking to coffee in the morning. Is that what I want?

Yeah, you're gonna love it.

I gotta start dressing up. I don't think so.

Yeah, that's me. That's me on the TV show.

Oh, my God, that's me. I talk like that.

Anyway, make sure you should DVR it right now.

Dvr my show? It's really funny, but no, awesome. I think you guys are really gonna like it. It's a funny.

I think so, too.

It's a fun show. The other women on the show, Amy Laurent and Julie Allison, are great.

And I love Amy.

I know.

I want to marry her.

Oh, my God, you do?

Yeah. But I saw some guys that she's already dated.

I know.

Douchebags.

I know. Oh, my God. You want to marry her. Can we call her right now and.

Say that I want to marry her?

Okay, let's call her. Let's see if she probably won't answer Skype.

We'll text her saying we're going to call her, and then we're going to call her from a Skype.

Okay, I don't know how to do that. She's not. Well. She's not. Oh, she's in my texts.

Yeah.

Okay. Today's show, just so you know, what we're talking about.

Just boners.

We're talking about Boners? No. We're gonna talk about how your ex might be holding you back. An important study came out. A lot of people get tied up in their exes and they never move on. We're gonna give you tips how to move on. And plus, we've got some sex tips for you and some sex in the news, some emails, and it's gonna be awesome. Hold on. I'm texting her.

Text her. Say that. We just wanna call her for a few minutes.

I wonder if the Skype works. I tried to fix it, dude. It didn't work. We've got some technical difficulties with Skype. And today's show is brought to you by Jimmy Jane. Use coupon code spring for 25 off your purchase. 100 or more. You know that I love Jimmy Jane toys. They are so fun and they're awesome. And you can buy a massage candle. You can buy the Form 2 vibrator if you've never had one. We love them. And I think you should all check them out and support our show. And go check out the new website, Sex with Emily. You can follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily. I gotta do more Instagramming. I, like, forgot about Instagram for, like, the last two weeks.

I know, it's ridiculous.

But don't worry, you're gonna get a ton of new followers. God damn it. The Skype is not working.

I'll just do. I'll call her from my phone.

I know, but then she can't hear me. Tell her how much I love her. But whatever.

Yes, you can. We'll do it.

Kinda. We'll do it. The Getaway. That's how we roll. We've been doing the show for free for seven years. We figure out ways to make things happen.

I wonder if she can hear you.

Huh?

She'll be able to hear you.

I'll, like, yell off the mic so people don't get annoyed.

Amy.

Amy.

Hi. You're on Sex with Emily.

I am, like, on right now.

You're on right now.

You're on the radio.

I know.

I'm gonna get on that side.

Okay. Come over here. Menace wants to say something to you. We were just talking about the show and.

He's the guy with the hot glasses, right?

He's the guy with the hot glasses. Exactly.

And I want to. I want to say I love you. I think you're great. I think you're great. You're so lovable. I don't know why you date douchebags.

Well.

I actually don't really Date. And this is all new to me, dating.

So.

Are you talking about my ex?

Yes. He thought she was. He thought that he was a douchebag.

In the first three seconds of just seeing him on camera, I can tell he's a douchebag. Like, and it's funny because I played it for other people before he even spoke. They're like, douchebag.

Maybe he's just not. He just has the douchebag, you know, gear on or something.

Madness is just jealous, Amy, because he's in love with you. Yeah, well, you know.

You know, I so appreciate you saying that. It was kind of, like, kind of painful for me to see that happen, because this is exactly what I would tell a girl or if Emily was dating a douchebag. I pick up the signs and I'm like, let me lay it down to you straight, and I'm doing this for your own good. And I don't know why I can do that for other people. And then for myself, it's like, I'm completely, like, this guy is clearly, like, in denial. Everything's fine while I'm sitting there in pain. I mean, it was really. It was really hard for me. And, yeah, we fell for you.

We felt for you, Amy. We were there for you, and we. We felt for you, but we know there are so many men out there in New York or wherever for you that they're just going to be coming in droves. They're going to be lining up around your apartment.

First of all, Emily, I love you. And I just have to say, like, you're always there for me. I can't even say, like, the times when I called Emily, and I'm like, what should I do? You know, I was like, you know, this person's coming into town. Emily, you've, like, always been there for me, so I appreciate it. It's not easy. It's not easy for me to see things clearly when, like, my heart's involved. And I hate that. I hate that I have emotions. I really do.

I know. It's good, though. Am. You're good and you're getting. You're learning so much. I know.

It'S hard, but, you know, it's all good and I have to do it so I'm not, like, walking around like a robot.

So what's going on in San Fran?

We're just having a show. We're talking about how your ex might be holding you back, coincidentally. That's the topic of today's show.

Oh, man.

That wasn't even on purpose because in the first episode, everyone listening, Amy does go out with her ex. And so that's just a little teaser for something coming up.

But I want to know. I want to know.

Okay.

And I guess they have to wait long. Watch the show for Monday. But I would be so interested in knowing how many of your listeners think. Because I, like, he has this charm over me. I don't know why. I don't know how. And I'm just wondering if people see it and they're like, yes, he's a charming, attractive guy.

Not one person.

No, I want to know, like, does anyone else see it? Or is, like, everybody else gonna, like, you know, here's my poll. Like, told douchebag. There's nothing great about him. Like, I just want to know if any, like, sees it the way I.

Do.

It'Ll be interesting. I don't know. I didn't see it aim, but I just love you, and I didn't.

Well, don't say that. You just.

Well, I think he's cute. I just think that. I think that you could do so much better. And I don't. I know the whole backstory, too. So I.

You know what, Amy? Amy, Emily's crazy.

Oh. But maybe that's why I like him so much. And that's a really sad statement. I mean, it really is. And it's something that I'm working on with myself because for some reason, if I was working with a girl, I would never let her do that to herself. I would tell her, you are worth so much. But for some reason, like, it's kind of sad that I. I want to do that for other people, but for some reason, I can't give myself that. So it's.

But the first step is recognizing that. That's the issue. I mean, you've got the. You've got it all down. You know what to do. And now the fact that you realize that you're not doing it, you know that next time you will. You will follow your rules. You'll do it.

I think so.

I think you will. Oh, my God. Well, I love you, Amy. We just wanted to give you a shout out and say hi because we're sitting here talking about the show, and Menace said he loved you, so I thought we should call her. Oh, my God.

And I love your glasses. They're, like, the hottest thing ever. I'm telling you, we should take a poll on that, too. I love it.

Thank you.

I know. She's like that guy with the glasses. He's really cute. And then we were kissing. He made me kiss him.

Yeah, he made me kiss him during the show. Okay, honey, I'm gonna call you later.

I can't wait to see you next week. By the way, FYI, I see you.

In la, baby, I cannot wait. Okay, I love you. Bye, honey. Talk to you soon. Bye. That was Amy Laurent. She's also on the miss advised show premiering on Bravo on Monday night at 10 o'. Clock.

Yeah, it's crazy, I know.

I want you to meet her. So anyway, okay. So it's funny that our topic is how your ex might be holding you back.

I know.

And some other sex tips, because that's what she goes through in the show. But you're all gonna see that. So Monday. Monday. So let's get into some sex in the news. All right. Okay. Do women have a sexual prime? This is just a quick one. Love Honey did a survey and they came to the conclusion that women hit their sexual peak at the age of 28 and men hit theirs at 33. Now I think that's interesting because I thought that men hit their sexual peak at 18. We're always hearing or 21 or whatever, but they say that their men and women hit them at different ages. So I've already peaked. I don't understand. But that's what the study says. Okay. And then another study came out that the IUD are better at preventing pregnancy than the pill. The IUDs are those insertion things?

Oh, no.

The pill may be tried and true method for keeping those pesky pregnancies at bay, but apparently it's actually one of the most mediocre birth control methods on the market. According to new research, long term options such as intra the IUDs, deprevera shots are more effective than the daily dose. Daily shots. When they shoot you.

Daily shot, yeah.

Or no. No. You get a shot once and then it's like a daily dose gets released in your body.

Oh, but it's a shot that has.

A thing in it, right as a shot. And then you get all the stuff shot into you.

What?

You're gonna get mad. What?

I'm.

What? I'm.

Don't say anything bad about women who do this because you did that once and everyone got mad. What are you gonna say?

No.

Okay, go ahead.

I'm just saying I think it's a good thing. Just putting the statement out there that they do use birth control and all this stuff like that. But for some reason, out in the, out in the world, guys kind of bag on chicks that do that, that.

Do the show what?

But just do the show every day. Yeah, but they just say, oh, those. Those chicks are just mega sluts.

Oh, that's so dumb. That's the dumbest, man. You said this once and we got 100 emails.

Am I saying. I'm not saying. They're my words. I'm not saying it. I'm just.

Those people are idiots. It means that the girl that you are effing is not going to get pregnant, because she didn't.

I think that's the thing. And I fully support that. I fully support the shot, so don't give me crap about it. I'm just saying people are.

Well, your other people that you're talking to are idiots.

Well, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

You know what? Maybe I should not say anything, not to offend anybody. Actually, I don't care.

That wouldn't be fun. You can. You can offend people. Okay. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. Their sex life reaches an all time low. Well, she's preggers.

Oh, please. Never use that word ever again.

I hate that word. I'm sorry. I've never used it, have I?

Never ever.

I just did. I never will. Stricken from my brain.

I hate that. I hate Uber. I hate preggers. There's a. There's like, a list of words I hate, but that's on top of this.

Do you hate totes?

No. Totes. We use totes all the time.

Okay. Kornya Kardashian has already publicly announced she has commitment issues, which is why she doesn't plan on marrying Scott Disick soon. But what fans don't know is what's really going on behind closed doors, and it's not pretty. They have fought often during the pregnancy with each other, and the amount of sex they had during the pregnancy is astronomically low. They've definitely reached the point of their relationship where sex is a chore rather than a fun and loving activity. However, despite their dwindling sex life, a breakup between the two is unlikely. So that's good. Whatever. They'll get it back. She's pregnant, they're not having sex. That happens to a lot of people during pregnancy. I'm telling you, I would not want to have if. I can't imagine being pregnant. Some women get really, you know, horny or whatever during sex, but during pregnancy. But some women don't, and they just don't want to have sex. They're like, the last thing I want is a penis in my vagina.

Yeah. Or no. I heard some.

Women that are really just want to keep on doing and the guys don't want to do it.

Oh. Because they're like, yeah, yeah. I've heard mixed, mixed, mixed feelings.

Mixed feelings.

Okay. Anything that you got from celebrity gossip, because we haven't done a show in a week, which has been painful. I missed you so much.

Celebrity gossip, there's nothing out there. There was a rumored picture that Kanye west tweeted out a photo. If you hear about this of Kim Kardashian naked, it is totally false. He didn't tweet.

He would never do that.

It was some porn star from like a year ago that put this picture out online and everyone thought it was Kim Kardashian. It's not Kim Kardashian, so don't fall.

Thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it.

But you go ahead and Google it. It's a nice photo.

Oh, it's a nice hot chick who looks like Kim Kardashian.

Yeah.

Do you think she's hot? Like, would you bang her?

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I've met her before. She was very sweet, so why not banger? I would, I rather, I'd rather not know her past history.

Right.

It was some girl I met on the street. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's cool. But then you're like, oh, she just.

Sex tape the whole thing.

Well, yeah, just knowing because, you know, again, guys don't, Guys don't want to know you're dating.

I know.

They don't want to know everybody. And that's why I feel bad for every boyfriend that you have because you love just bringing, flaunting every ex boyfriend you ever had in front of them.

Right.

It's like, guys don't like.

I do.

Yeah.

But I'm not sleeping with them anymore.

But you guys just don't even like that in general.

Then you want to know, oh, I've stopped telling, like the guy that I'm dating who I've slept with out of my friends.

Thank God. Because it's all of them bad for the guy.

Just assume, just assume that I've banged all my male friends but just once or twice. Twice. Communication, knowledge and open mind is the key to great sex. Good communication, arsenal of knowledge and a willingness to be open minded can keep the fire burning. That's all you need. Things may not look or feel or work the same way they did when you were 50, 30 or 20, but that doesn't mean they can't still work the same way. That's beautiful. And Pleasurable. So you just need to communicate a lot with your partner and have an open mind. So it's a new book that came out called Sex Made Easy. Your Awkward Questions Answered for Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex. And she talks about how important is sex to the success of a relationship. And it varies from person to person, but sex is important to most people. So I think people are in a relationship and they say, oh, sex was good, but now we don't care. And it's fine that you're in trouble if you stop paying attention to your sex life and you think it's totally fine that you're not having sex anymore, There is a problem. It's okay for a few weeks or three months, but if it's been going on for years and you never have sex and you think everything's fine, it's just. I'm telling you, you need some therapy. And you guys got to get your sex life back, because couples who are not connecting sexually are not going to be connecting in other ways at all. At all. You got to keep having sex. But it's hard. I get it. Like, you've been with someone for a while, you have babies. It's hard to keep doing it, but you got to do it. What?

Sorry to go back to the news story about Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. Okay, can you read one part for me again? And I want to explain something.

Yes, go.

Go ahead and read. Why she doesn't want.

She has commitment issues. Commitment issues. Courtney has commitment issues.

Okay. Which doesn't make sense because the past couple episodes of the Kardashians. I know you probably haven't watched it.

No.

But it's all giving Kris Jenner the mother crap for cheating on her husband. And Courtney is the one that makes the biggest issue out of it.

Right, Right.

She's like, I don't know why you're bringing all this stuff back up and.

Right.

Actually, the next episode is she's meeting up with that guy again to go, like, hang out with him and hang out with him and talk to him and stuff like that.

Oh, my God.

And it just keeps on showing Courtney being pissed, saying, you know, that that ruined our family and all.

Wow. But that was with her dad that she cheated on her.

Yeah. So Kourtney Kardashian's dad, which was Robert Kardashian, the famous lawyer.

Kris Jenner, was cheating on him with this random guy.

Wow.

And so Courtney, being the oldest, she knew everything that was going on. So all these episodes just, like, how Courtney has all these issues.

Oh, they all come up. I couldn't imagine somebody did bring that.

Up, saying, you know what?

Corny's being kind of hypocritical because she's not married to Scott.

Right?

Just. And so she could just leave him at any time and not feel bad about it.

Right? That's true. That's true. So they're saying she should be commit.

She should be committed. I mean, if you're having two kids.

With somebody, I don't think you have to get married.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

People don't take her advice on.

Don't tell people not to take my advice. I give them.

I'm just saying if you don't want to marry the guy and you already had two kids with him, then you shouldn't be living with him. You shouldn't be.

She just might not want to get married. Not everyone has to get married. Like, I don't see why that's the end all be all. Not everyone can get married anyway.

But if she's not getting married married to keep her options open, then just go keep your options.

She's not keeping her options open.

Then what is the effing point, man?

I don't know. I mean, maybe they don't have time. They're shooting reality shows to get married.

Why are you making up all these excuses?

I just can't. I don't know either.

Commit. If you have two kids together, you're living together, you're sharing your whole life together, then commit to this person. If you don't want to commit, then just move on and find somebody to commit to.

They're like, why are you saying a piece of paper is going to make a difference in their relationship?

It does make a big difference. It shows that I am committed. Committed to you for the rest of my life. Which I know that scares you to death.

I mean, I would get committed for the rest of the week.

See, that's why I don't even want to hear your comments on this kind of stuff because you're totally against it from the get go. You can't even play devil's advocate when it comes to this conversation.

No, I can. I totally can, but I don't feel like it. I just think that it's not weird that so many people are not getting married. Like, the marriage numbers have dropped.

That's fine. I'm just saying if you're not gonna do that, then why even live together? Just go and keep your options open. Stay in different houses and just date each other and stuff.

Like that just your logic makes no sense.

How's it not because why did what.

You'Re saying because they're not married. That doesn't make their union that she, she wants to keep her options open. I think she doesn't want to get married. Does he want to get married?

Yes, I think he does. He's already brought up where he wanted to get married.

Well, she's not ready yet.

She's not ready. Okay, what then? She's going to be ready just someday to just marry the guy that she's already been with and had two kids.

With, but they just don't have time to have a wedding. She doesn't want to have a wedding. A lot of people do that.

Her sister had a ten million dollar wedding in like, I don't know.

Yeah, that went really well.

A couple months. And then her other sister, who's already been married for, I don't know, two and a half, three years now had a. Had a wedding within 30 days.

That's crazy.

So come on, they have money and.

Resources and watching her family going, I'm not jumping into marriage. It's not working for everyone else in her family. Okay. Bethenny Frankel blamed herself for the miscarriage of her second child. So she had a miscarriage. Did you hear about this? She did. She had a miscarriage. And she went to the doctor and the doctor said, at your age and with how busy you are, you've got to slow down. And apparently she felt that she brought on her miscarriage because she didn't slow down and she continued to work, but the doctor assured her that it had nothing to do with that. But that's the headline is that she blamed herself.

She was so crazy about it.

She was so crazy about it. She felt so bad. She said, she said the doctor assured her otherwise, but the star remained heartbroken. There's something so sad about it that there had been a life in there and suddenly it was not there. She explained in the article during the grieving process, she eventually realized it wasn't her fault. She got over the guilt. But now I just felt bad for whoever she was going to be. I felt bad for that heartbeat. Aw, that's sad.

I'm pissed too. About a talk show.

What happened? So it's airing today or something now, so.

Yeah, I think it's today. No, no, it was just the other day.

Okay.

And they pumped it up. National news everywhere.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

Yeah.

Yeah. Tweeting like crazy. You can't go anywhere without hearing about how she has a talk show, it only airs in eight cities and we're not one of them. San Francisco. Really? Yeah.

I mean, if they're starting rolling it.

Out in LA and New York, which are major markets.

Chop liver in San Francis. Yeah.

We're the fourth largest market in the effing country, man. And we can't get some Bethany in our lives.

Jesus Christ. Who can we talk about?

What are you airing? Fox. That's so important, right?

Exactly.

Another Jerry Springer show.

Exactly.

Like, even Jerry. Bethany, Jerry Springer's bodyguard, has his own talk show.

No. Really?

Yes.

Are you serious?

He has his own talk show?

Maybe they just want to roll it out, build the buzz. There's probably some science to it.

I don't know. They have some like Canadians that have a show that's a talk show that's airing here in San Francisco. Like, why can't Bethany.

I don't know, baby. You should write a letter to the people.

I'm gonna write a letter to Fox. Say, I want some Bethany in my life.

Next time you sit down and write a letter to Taco Bell to bring back the double decker triple alarm, maybe you should sit down and write a letter to Taco Bell.

You gotta get it right. It's four alarm double decker taco, discontinued in 1997.

Right.

And I've been.

Don'T ever say that.

It's not coming back.

Why would people are like, oh, just get the volcano taco. No, I want the four alarm double decker taco. If you guys don't know I've been missing this taco for what? Do the math.

A long time, 15, 16 years.

I just want it back.

I know he's been writing letters, Taco, but he's like the crazy person. They're like, oh, my God, this crazy.

I found the CEO on Facebook and I messaged him and he never wrote me back. And I sent a nice letter.

I'm sure you did. I'm sure you did.

It was the sweetest letter ever. I'm like, you know, I used to love the four double decker tacos.

Your fame will just rise and they'll.

Bring it back for you. No, you're the one that's gonna be famous.

Double decker taco.

You know, if you're ever gonna do ever anything for me when you become famous, you gotta get them to bring back the four alarm double Taco.

I will. Deal. I'll shake your hand a bit and I'm taking you to the Playboy Mansion.

Please.

I will.

And if, you know, what else do you want? And if they're not too busy. Maybe the Rancho Steak Burrito. That's it? That's all you need now.

The Rancho Steak Burrito.

I mean, just as an added bonus.

But as long as you're bringing back.

The other one, the main priority is the four alarm double deck.

You gotta stay focused on the four alarm.

Yeah, okay. You know, if you want to slip in the Rancho Steak Burrito, you can.

Yeah, you just do a little slippy. Slippy. I mean, there is no kind of fast food that I crave in that way that I would even know that it was gone or missing because I don't eat fast food. Do you still eat fast food?

It's delicious.

You still do? Obviously.

Hell yeah.

Obviously. Okay, we've got some emails from the peoples.

Love the people.

Thanks everyone for emailing us@feedbackexwithemily.com and you can also email me right through my website, sexthemily.com and go check out our new website. It's awesome.

It's amazing.

It's amazing.

It's super clean. It's the best websites you've had so far.

It's taken me seven years to get a really good website.

And so you better visit it.

You better visit it and you better put in your email address. I won't spam you. Okay.

And the show's free now.

The show's free. We mentioned that we do a few shows a week and they're free. We've got 400 million shows that you can listen to and they'll improve. They'll improve your sex life. Okay. Hello, Emily. My girlfriend and I are big fans of the show and we listen to you guys whenever we get the chance. We have an amazing sex life and we're madly in love. Recently though, we had a small disagreement about masturbation. My girlfriend gets bothered every time I want to masturbate when she is not around. We have a long distance relationship and it's hard for me to not release every once in a while. However, my girlfriend gets bothered when we haven't seen each other in a while and I chose to and I choose to masturbate rather than hold off until we see each other. She feels it is selfish of me to masturbate when she, on the other hand, chooses to wait until we see each other. She doesn't enjoy masturbation herself and won't take that alone alone time to explore her body. And since she doesn't take that time for herself, I feel as if she's making me wait because she chooses to wait. She also feels that when I masturbate that sex isn't as passionate as it can be, but I assure her that it is. She feels like I can't wait for her and feels that she's not worth the wait. But I tell her it's not the case. Please help us out and give us your opinion on our situation. Thanks, Alex from Los Angeles, California.

Alex.

Okay, Alex, here's the deal. Masturbation is completely normal and healthy. In fact, men with the healthiest sex life masturbate even more often. You gotta tell your girl there is nothing wrong with you masturbating. It doesn't mean that you don't miss her. It doesn't mean that you're discounting her. It doesn't mean anything at all. It just means that you are a man and that you need to masturbate. So, I mean, that is all you need to do. I'm telling you that masturbation. Masturbation is. Is. Is something that's totally normal for. For men and for women. And I gotta tell you something. She needs to masturbate. She needs to masturbate herself. She should probably spend time alone, exploring her own body. And then she would realize that maybe she'll start masturbating and you'll start masturbating, and then she'll understand that it's fine. But right now I'm confused, concerned that she. That this is an issue for you, especially because you're having great sex and you have a great relationship. But it's like, it's almost. I would even say if you never masturbated, that was unhealthy. Like it. It flips on the side of being healthy to masturbate.

Maybe she should just get the rock box.

Oh, Jesus. The rock box. Strongest vibrator out there. It's the news vibrator. Don't get the. Don't. Don't. Don't get the rock box.

Even Emily's afraid of the rock box.

It is sitting in my house. I got sent the rock box. I kind of want to use it.

Are you serious? You want to use it?

I don't know. I'm afraid my vagina is going to fly across the room.

Yeah, don't look.

It looks like a power tool.

See, once you have the rock box, there's no going back. Like, you just have to go bigger and bigger and bigger.

I wonder if you can buy it@adamandeve.com. check out adamandeve.com. use coupon code.

By that time, maybe my sex toy will come out the dump truck.

The Dump truck.

Jesus.

That's a terrible name. But Alex. Yeah. You guys gotta do some reading on masturbation. Totally normal. Total healthy. A lot of women. It's kind of like the porn. Argue that people. Guys, Women get upset when men watch porn. Healthy. It's fine. Did you just burp in the microphone?

You didn't find that sexy?

No. That was horrible.

You don't. Are you turned off by stuff like that?

No, I burp all the time. But I.

I don't burp during the show. I just burp at the office.

We're. We're. We're lucky enough to record at the Stitcher studios in San Francisco, California. Download the app. It's totally free. You can.

You can.

You can stream podcasts. Emily's giving me a dirty look. But they have free Dr. Pepper in here.

I know.

So I'm drinking it.

I love Dr. Pepper. Okay. So, Emily.

Yes.

It's 8:40 Central Time Friday.

Ooh. And I'm masturbating.

And I'm listening to your show on xm.

Really?

I think I just heard you argue that an extramarital relation affair is okay if it's safe sex. Did I hear you correctly? No, you did not. I would never, ever say that. So he goes off. He says, I was married for 14 years to a woman that I worshiped and treated like a princess. She also loves me very much, but several I had. But her several extra marital affairs destroyed her marriage. She has a similar attitude as you. It was only sex and didn't mean anything. I disagree. Sex is one thing that a couple share between themselves. Once a partner gives up their body to another, sex is no longer special. The intimacy is gone. Sex becomes just pleasures of the flesh. Sex is no longer making love. It's just sex. James from Panama City, Florida, James, I'm.

Here to tell you my point exactly.

What.

What have I always said? People that listen to the show know that I say that you can't just kiss a woman's ass 247 because they'll just walk all over you and do things like this. That's gonna upset him, you know?

Oh. Cause he treated her like a princess and worshiped her.

Yeah. You just can't. I'm not saying treat a woman like crap. That is not what I'm saying at all. You should never do that. But you can't put women that you date up on a pedestal because then they have you in the palm of your hand and then they just take advantage. They might even. They might not even know that they're taking advantage. To be honest, they might not even.

Realize I need to be put on a pedestal. A lot of women want to be put on a pedestal.

Yeah, but.

But you have to put on a pedestal.

What happens when you do that?

Here's the problem.

How do you go do when that happens?

I don't do anything. But here's the thing. She had an extramarital affair. And. And I would say that it's not because you treated her like a princess, but I would say you also, you can treat a woman like a princess, but also go down, you know, not go down on them, but could be hard. Like. Like give them.

When they screw up, you screw up.

You. Yeah, yeah, you gotta put your foot down. Yeah, yeah, you put your foot down. Like, I don't know if you walk. Maybe she walked all over you. I'm not sure what happened there. But I would say that you, you can. It's okay to put a woman on a pedestal, but then to also be real if something's going on and be like, that's not cool. Like this guy that I'm currently dating, which I totally appreciate. He does not take any crap from me.

That's good.

He does not let me get away with anything. And he calls me and shit all the time. It's almost like too much. But I totally appreciate it.

I bet you hate it.

No, I love it. It makes me think he's even hotter because he's like, I'm not putting up with that.

This is a deal with me. I treat the women that I'm with like gold. I know it's surprising for you to even think that.

Well, the last time you were with a woman, it was like, you know, 2004.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, right. I treat him like gold. But if they, like, Once they. The moment they start taking advantage, I just pulled the rug out from under them and they're like, man, I really want that guy, that guy, that really nice guy again. So then they don't fuck around, you know?

Right, right.

They just. They just don't. They're like, I want to keep the guy because I know if I screw up that I'm going to get the guy that I don't want to. To mess around with, you know?

Right.

And that, that's just how you gotta be. I'm sorry. Because it goes both ways too. If you're a woman and you just like, kiss your man's ass all the time, and when he screws up, you don't call him out. Out on it, he's just gonna continue to screw up and upset you.

Right?

That's, you know, it's not gonna be a good relationship.

It has to be a healthy relationship. And though the. The balance of power should be equal between both people in the relationship, you.

Gotta keep your hoes in check. You feel me? Emily?

Oh, God, stop talking. Hi, Emily. After reading an article on Katy Perry, I realized how much Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel look alike. I know Menace has expressed his crush on Zoey in the past, so I was wondering, does he also have the hots for Katy Perry, or is it Zoe's personality that wins him over? Michelle from Baltimore.

Katie's. Katie's fun, right? I can see her being extremely high maintenance.

Right.

I. I don't know if I want to have sex with a girl that had sex with Russell Brand.

Oh, my God, you're so funny like that.

Why?

I don't know. Just like, so what? He's gone. They're all.

I know you don't care. Like, oh, maybe you're. You're some guy that you're dating slept with some super skanky hoe. Like, I know you don't care about that kind of stuff, but I do. That's just me. I'm sorry.

I'm not. You think Russell Brand's a skinky hoe?

Russell man is a meted sex addict. Like, have you remember you read that story about it? It was an amazing story. Yeah, I can repeat it because I memorized it. Want me to tell you he, like.

Had sex to all these women? Yes.

He had sex with this writer when he's, you know, he's over from uk Whatever. So there's a. There's a news writer that wanted to do a story on him. So he says, oh, yeah, yeah, come. Come over to my house and we'll talk about it. Right? So she goes over to his house, answers the door completely naked.

Right, Right.

Invites her in. She's like, okay, whatever. She. She walks in, talks, and goes, oh, would you like a drink? And she goes, okay, I'll have a drink. And then he goes, oh, would you like to go down on me? So she started because he's super, like, famous. Like, he's like a rock star.

She went down on him.

So she starts going down on him while he eating a plum, right?

And then he goes, oh, would you. Would you like to go up to my room? She goes, fine. They walk up to the room, he opens the door, and there's already another woman in the bed completely naked. And she said, that the other woman looked like she was shocked that she was there. Wow. Like, the other woman didn't even know that another woman was showing up.

Right.

So he asked, like, hey, since we're all here, would you like to have a threesome?

Right, Right. That's just some random writer that he's never met.

And the writer says, you know, whatever. I was up for it, you know, because, you know Russell Brand.

Yeah.

She said that the other chick wasn't down for it. Right. So then Russell Brand asks, oh, can you wait while I have sex with the writer? And the other chick just waited at the end of the bed until he was done.

Oh, my God. That doesn't sound fun. That doesn't sound interesting. Doesn't sound hot. I mean, it sounds interesting, but not hot. So.

And then that's the type of dude, like, she was sleeping with for, like, ever.

She was, like, a recovered, recovering sex addict.

That's great. But she was still sleeping around with.

A guy in the house. Haven't you done anything in your past that you're not proud of?

I'm sure I have.

Shouldn't women, like, haven't you slept with some chicks that if your future wife knew about, she would never date you? Yeah.

So these are women that I'm never gonna tell her about. She's not gonna know about. But since Katy Perry. Since Katy Perry is in the public eye. And don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on Russell Brand. I love Russell Brand. I think he's hilarious in movies. Love the guy. I love to hang out with him.

So you're saying you want.

But I don't want to sleep with chicks that this dude slept with.

Okay, I'm sorry. So fine, you don't want to slee. But Katy Perry I.

And Katy Perry is. She's beautiful, she's funny.

Right.

But again, she could be super high maintenance. Zoe Tischenelle. I don't know her. I've never met her. She could be super high maintenance too. But I think that she's cute.

She's cute.

I've only. I only know one other guy that she slept with is some. The guy from Dev Cap for cutie that she was married to for a while. But at least you know what? She was married to that guy. That guy's a total effing nerd. And so am I.

Right?

So it gives me a nerd.

Gives me a little nerd.

Gives me hope, you know, that a nerd like that can get with a hot chick like that, who I believe is hot. Some girls always like to bash on her because guys love her.

Who, Zoe? Yeah. Why? I don't bash on her.

Why do women always just love to bash another?

Women don't bash other women. Men bash another. You're bashing on Russell Brand.

You guys are. I'm bashing on his sex life, not him as a person.

Oh, dude, what's the difference? I don't bash on other women. You hang out with a different ill. You hang out with people who meet. Meet certain stereotypes that I don't experience in my world that women are bashing other women.

It's all good. It's free love.

Don't out sleep with everybody signs and flower children. Dude, that's not true. We sit around trashing. Why are you with that? That, that stole my guy. You know, whatever. Like that's not what we talk about.

Because you hang out with people like that don't care.

Wine and whatever.

No, you guys just. I don't know man. It's just. I think it's weird to me and then yeah, I mean sometimes, yeah, I hang out with hood rat people that like, you know, they're ghetto and they love arguing and having drama about stuff like that too. But also hang out with people that are like passionate about other people and they do care if that person sleeps with another person, you know.

Yep, I understand. Okay, moving on. Next email. Hi Emily. I've been listening to Dan Savage who's great but was looking for some female perspective on my relationship and a good podcast with a straight female's perspective. I'm listening to the episode from September 2, 2011. Wow, understanding women. And it's awesome. I'm a 30 year old man dating a 45 year old woman. 30 year old man dating 45 year old. She was a good friend of mine about a year ago. My friend and I have gotten through this issue but I still have some problems that I can't seem to get over. I drive myself crazy thinking I am not as good as my friend and that the experience she has with me are not as powerful as with him. Him. I can't even stand to even think of her with him. It's worse that they are close friends. I want to be the most incredible lover she's ever had. We've been together six months. I know that she loves being with me. She is so responsive and reassuring and I am really, really good stand up guy. But behind the confidence I have so much insecurity and mind fucking, it's totally crazy. Is there any advice by just being. Being present and dropping all this mental shit that just gets in the way. Is there any way to increase my trust in my girlfriend? And what she says about how she behaves with more positivity and loving as she. Loving is how she truly feels. Do I need to be her best lover? Is there always someone out there she remembered more than me? Because they were much, so much better. Thanks a lot, Emily. I look forward to listening to you some more, Woody from Boston, Massachusetts. Okay, Woody, here's the deal. Yes, there is advice about being present. You can be present right now, in this moment. You can decide you are in control of your mind. And every kind of your suffering right now is coming from your mind. In fact, 99% of the suffering that we all experience comes from our mind. You're torturing yourself. You don't even know. She might have thought he sucked in bed. He might have a penis that she didn't like. We don't even know this. And I assume that you do this in other areas of your life. So you do have to work on loving yourself. I feel like you don't love yourself and you're not trusting of yourself. You say you're a standup guy, but you're not sure that you're good in bed. And the most important thing is confidence. But before you can even get that confidence, you've got to love yourself and you've got to just start reaffirming. Every time one of those thoughts come in your head about feeling disgruntled or feeling worried that the last guy was a better lover, I need you in your mind just to push that thought away and replace it with two positive thoughts about yourself. That's how you do it. And then it becomes rote. And then you start to do it automatically. But it takes time and practice. But I have to say, if you look at yourself, your whole situation here, you got a great relationship. She's reassuring, and you're suffering, and your suffering is a result of you. And you need to stop the suffering by being present. Maybe you need to meditate on it. I don't know what you need to do. Go to yoga, do some kind of thing, but stop tripping yourself out. And in fact, women don't sit around longing. I mean, she's not with this guy anymore. She was with him, but now she's with you. And she's been with you for a little while. So I wouldn't worry about this other stuff. I think sometimes we try to distract ourselves with things so we don't feel good, which is such A messed up way of being, but we all do it. So you got to just be positive, be present with her. And I think you'll be okay.

You'll be fine.

You'll be fine, Woody. Okay, we can move into our topics.

And the topics are.

We've got some plural topics here. Okay, well, first we've got why.

Ways. Your ways to forget your ex so you can move on. And this is funny because at the beginning of the show we were talking to Amy Laurent, who is your co star. My co star on Misadvised, which is a television show that's airing Monday night on Bravo television at 10pm and in the show she goes on a date with an ex. That's all I'm going to say. But some of us go on dates with exes and it's. Or we have issues with our exes or we can't move on, or we're always comparing other people to our ex and it just holds us back. So, so here's some questions for you. After your big divorce or breakup, do you visit your ex's social media sites to see what he or she is up to? Do you have strong negative reactions when his or her names. His or her name comes up in a conversation? If you can't let go of your ex, it will be impossible to find new love with a new person. Divorced singles who are able to say, I don't feel much of anything for my ex. We're more likely to find a successful long term relationship. And those were her still grieving, held grudges, or worse, were still in love. So here are six ways to forget your ex so you can move on with a new partner. This is going on in my office too. Someone in my office keeps dating her ex, keeps dating her ex, can't move on. I mean, have you ever done this? Gone back to an ex? Are you the kind of guy who's like done and done?

No, I did it one time and learned my lesson. It was a good life. It was a good life lesson.

Usually you break up with somebody for a reason.

Yeah.

And you got to remember that reason. So first you got to dial down your emotions. If you've unusually positive associations with your past, there's a good chance you're over romanticizing the relationship.

So on the other hand, if you have unusually negative associations with that relationship, then you're carrying around emotional baggage that can be affecting your current behavior. You might have a lot of anger, you're afraid of commitment and closeness, an excess of positive or negative emotions towards your Ex is a sign that you need to work on letting it go. So I think that's a common thing that a lot of people do. They break up with someone and they either put them on a pedestal and they're like, oh, my God, he was the best I ever had. She was amazing. And you forget all the bad stuff and the reason why you broke up, or you hate them vehemently and you think they've ruined your life. And you know, and you blame them, not yourself. And remember, it takes two to take on every relationship. You had some part to do it. And it sounds like you need to dial down your emotions if you're feeling that way about your ex.

And how many times did you go back to your ex?

A lot. I slept with my exes a lot, but I didn't have a lot of emotions around it. I just had a lot of stuff.

Yes. See, that's what's good about you.

I'm void of emotion.

So no emotion.

It's weird. I don't have a lot of emotion. No, I'm just kidding. I do find a habit.

Not when it comes to relationships. Relationships, everything else. There's a lot of emotion.

Oh, my God, my website's broke. When my website goes down, I literally. You'd have to take me to the hospital.

I would have to be locked up in a mental institution that's only having a website. But, like, a guy dumps.

I can't turn on the television.

Oh, my God. Menace. I called Menace the other night to help me turn on my tv, but I wrote it down. It's. It's. It's power on cable on.

You're getting so upset with me. I was like. Because I was laughing at you and you're like, don't laugh at me. Don't laugh at me.

Because I really wanted to turn the TV on. I had to do live tweeting for.

You, and you just describe it wrong.

What happens is people understand this. Who?

No, they don't.

They do. They do they have cable television?

Maybe. Maybe you're gonna have regions of people.

I probably can. So you have your cable television remote, right? Or maybe your satellite television remote. And the remote says, all on. Right, people, you're listening. But what happens is when Emily wants to shut off her tv, she takes her TV remote and just powers off. Okay, so what happens here is her cable box is still on, but her TV is off. So when she goes to press that all on button again, what happens? Her TV turns on.

Right.

Yet her cable box shuts off.

And she goes, right.

Oh my God. There's no signal. What's going on? So she hits power again. And then her TV shuts off and her cable box turns on. It's a vicious cycle, people. And she's just trying to figure it out.

I'm still confused.

So now I go, okay, look and see if her TV's on. If your TV's on, then you press the button that says cable and then you hit power. It's power.

That's it.

And then your cable box will turn on and you don't have to worry about the tv. And then, oh my God, there's television. Which you'll be on.

I know.

Imagine this, people. Imagine.

Imagine trying to watch the show.

And I can't imagine if you are about to be on a national television show.

Right, on a huge network like Bravo and you couldn't figure out how to turn on your own tv.

I'd drive over to your house to watch it.

How much would that suck?

That would suck so bad.

But luckily you're gonna be out partying in la.

I'm in la. Ashley Tisdale is the executive producer of our show.

Love Ashley Tisdale.

And do you?

Yeah, she's amazing.

I mean, she's amazing, but I know you loved her and where she's throwing us a party. It's crazy in LA on Monday night. So anyway, I'm gonna watch it live, but next time.

Live?

Well, not live. We're playing it earlier than live. But yeah. Okay, Next thing, we're talking about ways to forget your ex so you can move on. A lot of people are caught up in their ex. Either they love them or hate them. No matter what it is, it holds you back from meeting someone new. So you need to find healthy ways to release these emotions that you have. You can engage in vigorous physical activities, make an effort to connect with others socially, volunteer, engage in kids creative activities, write a totally truthful letter for yours, eyes only to your ex, and then throw it away or burn it. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes you got to get out all your emotions to your ex. Even though like, like people. I had a friend who was dating a guy for eight years. They broke up. It was horrible. He left her. They were gonna have a baby. Like the whole thing. And literally for a year she was devastated about this guy and she never once looked at her own part in it. She just had anger spewing out of her to this guy. And it's really destructive. And you can't move on and you can't be anywhere so the sooner you follow these instructions, the sooner you'll be able to find someone. So you gotta also share your story with a friend. So 80% of divorced singles who talk through their emotions found new healthy relationships. Find an empathetic friend to whom you can call and tell the whole breakup story. Starting from things went wrong to now. The next thing you gotta do is blame the relationship, not your partner. So people like my friend was blaming him. He did 100% of the things wrong. And I mean, you know what, like I said, tuta Tango, she was in that relationship. She must have done things that were wrong as well. So blame the relationship. Over 65% of people who ended relationships blamed their spouse or their partner for the divorce. He or she did something wrong. Women blame their ex more than men did. What do you think about that stat? However, spouses who shared the responsibility for the breakup are blamed the relationship itself. Like we grew apart, we were ill matched, fared better in terms of emotional healing, and were more likely to find a new partnership. So blame the relationship, not yourself and not your partner. So when you replace the I to the he, she to the we, so don't say I or she say we did this, we did that. You're going to be more likely to move on. On from the ax. Yeah, I mean, you know, people get angry and they believe.

Yeah, people.

How many girl women do you know are like, he did this and he did that. Yeah, she did this and she did.

Yeah. They don't take any of the blame. They don't see anything that they did. But you know what? I'm trying to think what I did wrong in the parts where I broke up.

See, you got to look at your parts.

I think two, two of the relationships where I broke up that I can think of were not my fault. But one.

One, I'm trying to think maybe I just didn't put enough effort into like working something out. Because there was the thing with my schedule. You know me, I get up super early in the morning, work every day, so I can't go out during the week. And I was dating somebody that just.

You know, I remember this party girl every night.

Yeah, I want to just go party and hang out and stuff like that. And I mean, we talked about it, you know, but like towards the end I was just like, I wasn't even putting any effort into a relationship. I'm just like, ah, right.

You need someone who allows you to be free.

Yeah.

And work and do your thing.

Just get out of here. Go have your fun game Over. And then the party girl ended up tolling her car like, and getting a dui just like seriously, eight months later.

Party girls and party boys. I've dated party boys. You did.

Party girls, you can go have your fun when you're, when you're young, but once you like start getting older, like, you got to be more responsible. I know you have, like.

Did she have a job?

Yeah, she had a really good job with a biotech company.

But some people can party both ends when they're younger. They can burn the candle at both ends.

Yeah, but man, when you have something good, like an amazing boyfriend like myself and you have, you have a great job, you, you have everything going for you.

I just don't, I don't want to back on her friends, but her friends didn't have as much going on, so they would just go like party. They were, they were great girls.

They're.

They're awesome. But the thing is like, they could go do that kind of stuff because they didn't have the responsibilities that you have.

Right.

You know?

Right.

But if you want to go and keep up with them, then you're just gonna get burnt.

Right? Right. You gotta, you gotta date your type. You gotta date someone who's in the same space that you are, wants the same things. And I think so often we get into relationship with someone because the sex is great or we're attracted to someone, but it doesn't mean you're a good match.

Yeah.

So recast the past in a neutral language. Instead of saying, he left me for a younger woman, find a way to rephrase this in a neutral way. He moves down, he moved on, and so will I. This will help give your thoughts and perceptions a new form. It's all about the way you think about it and the way you talk about. So if you hear yourself repeating the story, he's a rat. He did that. He did that. You're going to perpetuate it and you're never going to let it go. You have to shift your thought patterns away from negativity to create new neural connections and replace feelings of pain, self doubt and distress with feelings of calmness. I've been working on this lately. Replacing negative feelings that I ever have and just being positive about the future.

When do you ever have negative feelings?

Well, I guess it's mostly have negative. No, really?

Not really.

Really. I get stressed. Well, it's more like anxiety and stuff.

Yeah, I see you out over nothing.

Like my website or whatever, but I, I just, I feel like I worry about Work mostly. And it just isn't healthy. I've just project. I just have to know that everything's gonna work out. It's all gonna be good things. You can control your thoughts. Like I told the last guy you wrote in that 99. Think about it. Whatever you're pissed about right now, if you're in a bad place, I'm just saying, if you are and you're suffering in some way, yes, you might be sick and you might have some illness, but 99% of things that most people suffer about is all created in our mind. And if you can change your thoughts and create new neural patterns with your thoughts and try to replace a negative with the positive, you'll be much better off. And you will. You can change. You can be a happy person all the time, like me, because I've worked on it. Okay, then you need to change the present.

Remove emotional triggers from your life. Scan your home for items that remind you of your ex and get rid of all. Avoid places where the you and your ex used to go. At least until you've truly moved on. Keep contact with your ex in situations of shared custody, for example, to a bare minimum, set boundaries with your ex's family. It may take some time, but once you feel a little about your ex, you will be you. Move it on.

What did you. You didn't write this? You don't follow any of this?

Well, no, but people who are angry because I'm never angry with my ex. I'm always like, oh, you're great, I love you, but we're not together, but let's still have sex. I don't date assholes or jerks that I hate. I don't hate anyone I dated. Except for maybe I don't even know. But yeah, maybe a couple. But most guys. I have to say that I don't have a pattern of dating bad guys or like douchebags. Yeah, right.

Maybe have a douchebag meter.

Maybe now and then. Maybe now and then be a douchebag or use car salesman that you talked about.

But he was a used car salesman.

He wasn't. Totes not there's anything wrong with being used car salesman. He looked like it, but he wasn't. That's all. He just was wearing a suit and he has hair.

The only thing he was missing was a pinky ring. No, the pinky ring would have sealed the deal.

It is so not true. Guys, I appreciate it.

Guys don't wear pinky rings. I'm telling you.

Who wears a pinky ring? What planet Are you on?

I'm sorry. You don't travel outside.

I do. I don't like going over the bridge. I'm telling you, I went to Oakland. I got lost. Every. I had a photo shoot. I get lost. Like. Yeah, I go over the bridges.

Unless you're a rapper. Okay, that has a lot of money in the bank. You can't wear a pinky ring. I'm sorry, guys.

Okay.

You can't do it.

Every guy's dismantling his ring right now.

Take the pinky ring away, melt it down, maybe get a gold tooth. A gold tooth is better than a pinky ring, I'm telling you right now. Yeah, okay.

Okay. Thanks for that tip. I've got a little bit. Some few sex tips to sprinkle in here. Really? Yeah. Because it's Sex with Emily. You're listening to Sex with Emily, by the way, if you're just tuning in.

Sprinkle me.

Sprinkle you. It's good to be here on Extreme Talk, XM165. It's free Friday show. They're all free now. From now on.

And if you're listening to Extreme 165, tweet exwithemily.

Yeah, do it. Do it now. Let us know that you're listening. We just wanna know who's listening.

And say you're excited that misadvise is coming out. Pound sign, Mississippi.

Pound sign. Miss Advice.

One word.

I love that you do that.

Yeah.

I want to hear something really funny.

Go ahead.

I've been training Amy on Twitter.

That is frightening.

So I'm like, no, you gotta put a space by the ad and you gotta do the hashtag. And she did hashtag misadvise. Two words. And like, it's gotta be one word. Like every time she tweets, she calls me and she's like, is this right? So that means that I know what I'm doing now. And this with Twitter. Tweet with the Twitter. You can find me at Sex with Emily.

I can't believe you're giving people directions.

I thought you think that was funny.

It's hilarious.

Okay, so here's a few little tips here for men and women. I'll start with. Because we don't have a lot of time left, but for men and women, have a fetish or a sexual fantasy. A good way to keep the sex interesting is to always have a fetish in mind during sex. Or a fantasy, depending on your sexual partner. You can sometimes try your sexual fantasies out. So this is something we always talk about on the show that if your sex life is waning or you're not, you want to spice it up, talk about your fantasies. Just say, hey, babe, what do you fantasize about? See what they say. You might learn a lot about your partner. Right now, this 50 shades of gray book is just taking on. It's huge. If you've heard of 50 Shades of Gray, right? Mommy porn, it's everywhere in the world. So you know, she might have a fantasy to be tied up. You never know, so you need to talk about it. Another thing is you got to be spontaneous. It's the weekend. Monogamy and sex can get boring. So you got to add variety. Doing something you will never do and keeping an open mind with each other's sexual fantasies will keep the relationship alive and you'll have great sex. So you have to remember to be very spontaneous. Like for example, and if you always have sex in the bedroom, you know, have sex in the living room, have sex in the car. I don't care where you have sex, but do something different. Do it in a surprising place. Don't do it in the same way, the same time, the same places that you do everything else.

And what if you want to talk about something, what you were talking about, 50 Shades of Gray stuff, you gotta. You gotta check out this show on hbo, people. It's called Girls.

Oh, right. Is it still playing?

It's still playing. Yeah, yeah, it's on demand.

Just watch it, okay?

I'm telling you right now, the first episode probably will scare you a little bit. You'll be like, this is freaking awkward. But it's so realistically real life situations, you know? So watch it.

Okay? How many episodes have you seen? All of them.

I've seen probably six episodes.

How do you have time to watch all this goddamn television?

Because I get home and I turn the TV on.

You do? I get home and I try to turn the TV on, but I can't.

What do you do? I'd be pouring out my mind.

I work. I work on other stuff.

Work on what?

Website? Life.

They have the TV on in the background. That's what I do.

I can't ever turn it on. Every time I walk home and I want to turn the TV on, I'm like, fuck, this is going to be stressful. I'm not going to be able to turn the TV on. But now I wrote it down when we were taking notes, okay?

So another tip for women is if you have issues with orgasm, you can add a pillow to your sex to your. To the Sex pillows to the rescue. As with any non standing sexual position, a strategically placed pillow can provide better access to her genitals. Or in some cases, a pillow can be used in another way. So so it can help elevate you, your back, your pelvis so it can hit the right spot. You might really like it that way. Tongue Action here's some tongue for men. When you're going down in a woman, keep your tongue wet. It might sound crazy, but when you're doing it, it's good to have some saliva in your mouth. For starters, to prevent drag and friction, keep your tongue hard and not soft while deep inside and softening when playing with our lips. So keep your tongue wet. What? Some people's tongue are dry.

Yeah.

What are you laughing at?

No, I'm laughing at your descriptions.

Yeah. Okay, well, we've got to wrap this pony up.

All right.

Good pony show. It's been awesome and thanks everyone. Check out my book, hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. My app is Kegel Camp. It will improve your sex life. Download Kegel Camp for your iPhone today and subscribe to my podcast. It's free. Sex with emily.com and check out the.

All new sexwithemily.com all new sex with.

Emily.Com and Check out my show, Bravo TV Monday night at 10pm thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com oh, don't forget, check me out on Facebook Sex with Emily, Twitter Sex with Emily and Instagram Sex with Emily. And you can always email me and check out my brand new website. Tell me what you think. So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles? Okay, so get that. I always light candles when I'm enjoying a glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aromatherapy massage oils that when warmed like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use it during foreplay. And you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and Fougere. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at emilyandtoni.com, and you're welcome. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough off Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.com sex with Emily for 50% off and here's a bonus use the code code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q-U-A-L-I-A life.com sexwithemily thanks for qualia for sponsoring this episode.