SWE: Truly

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex?

So.

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com. you get all your sex information and relationship information and sex tips and sex news and all the things that you. The reason why you're listening to the show is because you want a better sex. Go to our website and that will happen. That's all I'm going to say. About that.

It's like magic.

It's magical.

How you doing today?

I'm great. How are you? I haven't seen you.

I know. What the hell has been going on.

I've been in LA for work, working stuff. And I'm back and I'm so happy to be back, but the holidays and.

Everything'S been crazy and we've been promising people that we're getting back on track. And today that day has come.

Yeah, we are back on track.

We're back on track.

We're back on track. And we're back. We've just had some stuff going on that we had to tend to. And we are back.

Yeah.

Strong.

Good. Yeah. We're gonna have crazy things to share with you soon, won't we?

Yeah, it's true. How have you been? What'd you do? What's new? Tell me the most exciting thing that happened to you.

Most exciting thing happened to me in the past no press week. I met Snoop Dogg. I met Snoop Dogg. No press. No, I met Snoop Dogg. I drank some wine, some fine two dollar wine from Trader Joe's, the Charles Schwa, AKA two Buck Chuck, the Cabernet Sauvignon.

Right.

And it's not that bad.

Wow, you're like a wine drinker now. I'm sort of done.

I'm not going to be.

It was the only thing that was there. So you drank the wine?

I like it because it's $2.

Oh my God. I. I like nice wine. I went out with my agent last night in LA to Nobu.

You wouldn't know the difference.

We had a reservation at Nobu.

Oh, excuse me.

Which is amazing. Amazing sushi in la. And no, it's not.

Not in la. La, you gotta go to. What's it called?

Nobu. Okay.

No, not Nobu, but go ahead, tell me about.

There's a million good sushi places in la. But then we had. Yeah, no, we had fancy great wine and champagne and drank a lot. It was really fun and we had good food. But I'm happy to hear that you're drinking wine. I. I think that means we can hang out more.

Yeah.

Like when we get drinks, I'm always worried. I'm like, you gotta make sure they have alcohol. It's not just a wine bar. Like, I get worried that you're not.

Gonna have the drinks if a wine bar. It would be a nightmare for me.

I know. So, yeah, so I was out in la. I went to like two hotspots. I went to boa, which is like whatever but people in LA are very different. Like we got hit on. Like I was with my friend Amy and we were with a few girlfriends and like, guys like, talk to you. Like they just do. It's conclusive evidence. We talk about this all the time. San Francisco guys don't. You're in LA and the guys come up to you all the time.

Weird, weird, weird though.

No, they weren't cheesy. They were like, cute. Everyone's cute. The bartenders are cute, the waiters are cute. Of course. They're like actor models, whatever. And so that was la. And then I'm trying to remember what else. There's nothing really. Oh, the guy from Michigan. I don't know what, how much I can talk about that now.

I don't know either.

No, I can talk about it. I can talk about it, but I don't know which show, if the show.

Came, what shows were on.

Yeah, I'm not gonna go there, but I assume.

Yeah, yeah, we record a show with a gentleman. We don't know if it's aired yet.

Okay. A guy that I was going away with for the weekend was on the. But I don't, I don't know if it was something I talk about now.

I. I don't know. Can we text somebody and see?

No, it's fine.

Just text her and see if that show aired and then we'll talk.

Let's just say it was a groundbreaking, life changing experience that you're all gonna want to hear about and I just can't go there now.

Yeah, we'll find out. We still got. We're only four minutes into the show.

Okay, perfect.

And I forgot the name of the sushi place that I want you to go to.

Matsuhisa.

No, Katsuya.

Katsuya. I've been there a million times.

That's the sunset. No, the. You got to go to the one in Studio City.

That's where all the fav.

People go.

Right?

Because it's the hole in the wall spot. It's good. And they have this, they have this deep fried mozzarella crab roll.

Yum.

So good.

I love it.

It'll change your life. It'll be better than any orgasm you've ever had.

Yeah, I doubt that.

But, but my friend was telling me.

About orgasms or about sushi?

No, about dating life in la. I know quite a few females, female friends in la and they tell me the thing that sucks about LA dating is that you date a guy who's always doing a job that he doesn't want to do because they're all, they all want to be actors.

Right. That is such a turn off.

So the problem is they're not focused on you because, you know, you want some attention.

Yeah.

So outside of their job, their whole focus is trying to be this actor or somebody in the entertainment industry. So they don't really put any time into you.

Right.

So that's what they, that's what your.

Girlfriends in LA tell you. Yeah, I could see that. Guys who are like self involved, self obsessed, trying to be an actor, trying to make it. I mean, that's like a full time job working in entertainment. And I would hate to be with the guy who's like, yeah, I'm just, you know, doing this right now. But I really want to be that because I think I always say the thing that I find sexiest about a guy is someone who is passionate about what he does. It doesn't. I mean, I guess if you're passionate about acting, but you're really a waiter or right now or a lawyer or doing something else, but you know that you have this passion for acting. I guess I still think that's hot. But if you are so passionate about your acting and you disregard me and you don't give me enough attention because of your acting, I'm not cool with that. Yeah, I like guys who give me a lot of attention.

Oh God. That's probably why you were loving it. The guys that are coming up to you and stuff like that, you can see if they're choosing you.

I was like, wow, that's never happened.

That's another groundbreaking thing right now.

What?

You get blindsided by the attention. You can't, you don't even have time to even look.

I'm not even checking if he's cute or not. I'm just like, wow, attention. Thank you, thank you.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Even checking if he's a cool guy or not.

Right. I don't care. I was just getting attention and it felt awesome. But we didn't, we didn't. We were like, we're busy, we're talking.

But it did, did it feel good to be in la, to have some.

Sun and had sun and I, I worked, I had a bunch of meetings and.

Did you run into any old people that you.

No. Okay, this is what I was going to say. I'm so glad you brought that up. I was thinking about that on the way over. That my ex, who I used to always sleep with every time I went to la.

Yeah.

This is like my third or fourth Time to LA that I've not stayed with him or slept with him. So I think we're done.

I like how you stated with we are done.

Our friends with benefits. I have to say that it was probably usually friends benefits relationships don't have a beginning, middle and end. But this one is like over. I think neither one of us, like, he's seeing some new girl. We're still great friends. Like, we tried to see each other, but I had no time. He's sleeping with someone else. I don't care. I hope he gets married and has children and is happy or whatever he wants with his life, but it's like, I don't want to sleep with him anymore. And that went on for years. This is I'm done and done.

This was the guy that I had.

A successful friends and benefits relationship. There was no negative, no jealousy, no weirdness. Slept together whenever he came to town when I went there. Not every time, but a lot.

Well, this is the guy that I've been saying that you should just marry.

I'm done. I don't want to sleep with him anymore. You know, that happens, just turns off. Does that ever happen to you?

It does.

Like, I was always game. I'm like, yeah, I'll go sleep with him, sure. And then now it was just like, eh, screech to a halt. Like I was like, don't even care if I see you. I mean, love him, but don't care if I see you or not. Don't need to sleep with you, don't want to sleep with you.

Wow. This is groundbreaking progress.

Not perfection, they say, but it's progress. And I feel like that's. Yeah, I'm not just going to do it, so. But it was a good friends benefits relationship because we get tons of emails about that, about like, do they work, how do they work, Blah, blah. And I would say the secret of the success of this one was that we were in different cities and we were both dating other people and we were being open about that. And then it was just when we saw each other, there was no expectations and there was honesty.

What else did you do in la? Anything.

Who else did I do or not do in la?

Well, did you do anybody in la?

Did anybody in la? No. I stayed with my girlfriend who has a baby and two Chihuahuas and I stayed in her bed with the two Chihuahuas and the baby. The baby didn't stay in the bed. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. I literally had a photo shoot that was really cool for something private that I can't tell you about, but it was super fun.

I had a photo shoot, everybody private.

Yeah, I was naked. No, I'm kidding. I wasn't naked, but yeah, it was fun. I went shopping a little bit. I had to buy some stuff. And I love la. Don't wanna live there, but I love it.

That's cool.

Yeah. So and then. Yeah, then the holidays. I can't believe it's almost Christmas.

Not that I care, but I'm very excited about that. I'm probably gonna go see my dad, say what's up.

Oh good, not your mom.

My mom's in Washington. Yeah, I'm not gonna go out there.

I need you to see your mother soon. Okay.

Today's show, Chicago's coming here in February.

Oh good. Will she be on the show? Like my whole family is exploited on the sex only show.

Why not gonna do it.

She doesn't understand you.

She doesn't? Yeah.

Let me explain you to her. To you? You to her.

Yeah.

Right. Yeah, just, just call her mind honey. I get you more than anybody on the planet.

No, you don't.

I think I do. I really think that I have a bird eyed view of you.

What do you get?

I just get you. I understand, like who you are.

I mean we sit and talk ever.

Who else do you talk to for an hour a day? Just sit there staring at him talking like nobody.

No, but what do you get about me?

I don't understand, like you like your women issues and your what are my women issues?

Break them down for me.

I just believe that it goes back to your mom and.

It's not my mom.

Yeah, it is your mom. And then the girl who broke your heart when you were like 16 and feeling like a geek growing up. Maybe, but you always get checks. But anyway, the girl who broke your heart and then not this distrust of women that either comes from your mother or this one woman. It could come from just one woman, but I think it has to do with your mom too. And.

I think that you don't.

I've said this.

No.

You don't reach out, you don't ask women out. You wait for women to fall in your lap. You don't make the effort to date women. So you just get what you, you know, you get what you give. You put nothing out there. You're gonna get nothing. You're gonna get whatever drops in on your lap. Oh, I guess I'll date you because you just fell on my lap. But you have to make eff. And I just believe that you, you have this. This. You've dated a serpent. Certain type of woman. Not like looks wise. Although that might be true. You've dated women who have certain personality traits which you then attribute to the entire female race. No, I don't. But you've dated women like that. And I just believe that you've dated beneath you. You need to date women that are career oriented, have their own life, aren't dependent on you, aren't just like all about menace, Menace, menace, menace.

Would you like me to go on?

No. Well, because some of the facts. All right, maybe I'll break it down for you like this.

I make fun of hoes and I love women.

So women that act like hoes are just.

I guess I just don't know those women. I'm not friends with those women.

The problem is. Yeah, we just have two different type of friends, right? Friends, Life's styles. Like your friends.

My stereotypes. What are you talking about?

You have stereotypical friends that are like stereotypes, cliched.

What are you talking.

No, I don't know.

Look, my environment is different. Different. I. All those crazy like nightclubs that you see on like the Jersey Shore and stuff like that. The type of women inside those nightclubs. I have to go to like clubs like that.

Yeah, but are those they. But you go to them for work. But are they your friends?

No, there's not my friends.

But those are the women you see.

Those are the women's. I see. And those are the women that I talk about that I make fun of now and then. I do know like actual women that are cool. And those are the ones that I'm making fun of all the time.

Well, you know, I feel like you don't learn from the cool ones, you just like do.

And those are the ones that I want to be with and hang out with.

Good. So do you your eyes on anyone right now? Any prospects?

No.

Yeah, what else is new? Okay, so can we change that in the new year? Can you come in January 2nd? Just be like I got six digits over the holidays. Like just get some numbers, do some proactive dating. And that's just all I'm gonna tell you right now. But I could go on tomorrow.

Part 2.

We are doing a show tomorrow, free Friday.

I know.

Today's show is about holiday survival for couples, singles and singles. Holiday survival for couples and singles. And dealing with the in laws. Some holiday special stories and we've got some evals that we can go to first.

From the people.

From the people we love. Hearing from the peoples who emails us@feedbackexthemily.com and you can also email me through the website. Cool. Ready?

Yes.

Hey, Emily and Menace. I'm sending this message for two reasons. Number one, my wife and I have found a simple solution to Menaces dislike of both teasing and sex toys. That being the vibrating panties. It is a great way to tease your partner and incorporate the use of a vibrator. Our five year anniversary. On our five year anniversary, we went out for dinner while my wife had a pair of these panties on. Every once in a while during dinner, I would discreetly turn the vibrator on via remote. My wife got so turned on that she told me if I didn't stop, she'd finish before we got dessert. This would be a great way for Menace to test the waters of the sex toy realm. I'm coming back to that in a minute. Number two, while my wife and I listen to your show on a near daily basis and truly enjoy what you and Menace have to say, we do have one problem. We've noticed that Emily has developed what I've come to call her Morse code. You tend to use shortened versions of everyday words which may be confusing for some listeners. Listeners that may not speak English very well. For example, instead of saying whatever, you'll say whatevs.

Sitch for situation. I actually think it's rather funny when you use these code words. All in all, you have an awesome show. We look forward to hearing what you and minutes have to say about the world's favorite pastime. Keep it up. Tyler from Calgary, California. He's a premium friends with benefits member.

Nice.

He's awesome. Tyler, I love your email. That just made my day. It was really great email. And we're going to go back to the vibrating panties. So I too have had experiments with these vibrating panties. I can't. I think they're called Astria A S T R E A. You can buy them at Adam and Eve. I think they're a great holiday. If you're listening to this, you haven't done your holiday shopping yet. Go to AdamAndEve.com they give you 50% off almost any item, a free gift and free shipping when you enter coupon code Emily at checkout. And right now they're doing this special Kim Kardashian giveaway of her sex DVD for any purchase. So do Emily at checkout. The vibrating panties. I have a story that I use those before and I. I wonder if Menace would do this. Well, first of all, this was a suggestion for you. So we should ask, would you use the vibrating panties?

Yeah, I think it'd be funny.

That'd be hot. Okay.

I mean, I wouldn't wear them.

Oh, I have a pair. I'm not saying if you wanted to borrow. I'm gonna give them somewhere that'd be kind of gross. Okay, so listen, So I did it with a guy once years ago. I got a pair that. They're called Astria. And I think other people might make them too, but they're really cute. Black little lace panties that actually are one size fit all. And they actually fit. And then you put this little vibrator in your crotch. Like there's a little. I hate that word. But there's a pocket that you put the vibrator in and then you hand the remote to your. To your person. So I was dating this guy, went to this party and yeah, we were just talking and mingling. It was like a. Not a sit down party, but like a mingling party. And then he would like, turn the vibrator on and it was really hot. Got turned on, and then he was, like, in control. It was like we weren't talking. Like, he'd be across the room. But then, like, the panties would start going, and it's really hot. And I think it's fun for couples. It's a great gift. Ask Santa to put that in your.

What's funny is the one movie that I ever took you to. It was in that movie, the Katherine Heigl movie.

You took me to two movies.

I did.

Correction. The second movie you till this day give me crap about because I talked.

What was it? What was the first movie then?

Well, the panties one was Katherine Hagel movie. Was. Was the one, but that was not the one. That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. That one was cute. That was like a romantic comedy with Katherine Hagel and what's his Hagel and.

What'S his face and the guy from 300.

Yeah, but she wears them in the thing. Yeah, and then she loses the vibrate, the youth loses the remote, and then some kid finds it.

Yeah.

Anyway, we'll post it on the website.

What was the other movie then?

How do you not remember the movie that you always say, I'm never taking the movie again because it was that end of the world dude that.

The Katherine Heigl movie was the one that you were talking through the whole time.

No, I was talking through that horrific movie about the end of the world. Whatever.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Year one.

Yeah.

No, that's not the one you were.

Talking at the beginning of the world.

Who were we with? We were with people, weren't we?

I don't remember. But you, like, were like, you were talking the whole time. You were so annoying. But it was the worst, literally the worst movie I've ever seen.

Like on a double date or something like that. I think we're hanging out with some people.

Somebody else I don't remember.

Oh, yeah. I guess they weren't that important.

It was a good time. Good times. But you took me to a movie we weren't on. We weren't dating, were we? Was that a date matters?

No. I mean, we both had somebody.

Did you want. Did you feel like we were on a date? Did you wish we were a date?

No, I'm saying that you had somebody with you. I had somebody with me.

Right.

But I can't remember who.

Right. Anyway, you got. The point is Katherine Hagel wore the panties movie. It's awful. I'm glad you forgot because that means that we can go to movies in 2012. Yeah, I'm write that down as one. New Year's resolution is to go to more movies because I'm totally media deprived right now.

I just oblivious to any.

I'm oblivious. Like I don't even understand people are talking about anymore. You like, you know that commercial, you know that show? And I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

No. It's crazy.

Okay. Hamley, longtime listener, first time emailer. I'd become a fan of sex toys in my in my 20s, listened to your show and got tips which I used and became more comfortable with my own sexuality as a result. But both myself and my fiance still waited till our engagement for intercourse. My fiance and I looked forward to making intercourse part of our routine. However, once we got engaged and attempted intercourse for the first time, I was in a great deal of pain. It felt like he was hitting a wall. This contained it for months and I went to my OB gym. She suggested an estrogen cream, more lube and relaxation. This failed. After a year of frustration, I asked for a second opinion. She said there were no doctors in my large metropolitan area who specialized in vaginal pain and that I was fine and there was no problem. I cried, but then I got angry and I immediately broken booked a new OB gyn, which is a gynecologist. On my first visit to the new doctor, he diagnosed several vaginal muscle issues, which meant that the muscles on either side of my vagina are spasming involuntarily and using a Dilator. I showed him the size of my partner, which he said was adding to the issue. He was very pleased that I was so open and comfortable with my sexuality, in charge of my own sexual destiny. One prescription later and many dilator exercises later, we are now able to have sex. Thank you, Emily, for the empowerment and healthy attitude towards sex that your show fosters. I hope it helps other women like me take charge of their sexuality. So basically, she was having problems, and because she listens to the show, she kept going and booked another doctor and went after whatever, you know, whatever her. Her issue was, and she felt open talking to a doctor about sex. Because a lot of people, you know, you're gynecologist. As a woman, you're gynecologist. I've been going to gynecologist for a long time, and he's never like, so how's your sex life? Or how does it feel? Or do you have any pains? You. You don't feel that you have a safe place to go as a woman or a man even? You're like, you know, you can get a prescription of Viagra, but, like, I don't know what women. We don't. I don't know. You just don't. But you should. You should. That's who you should talk to if you're having pain or whatever. And if one doctor says one thing and you don't like it, go to another doctor. You get second, third, fourth opinions.

What kind of conversations do you have with your gynecologist?

We don't. I mean, I know everything.

Like, I was raging this weekend. I hooked up with, like, three dudes.

I go to a male, and one time he told me I had nice abs. Have I been working out? Because he's feeling me. Obvious. My legs are in the stirrups. And I was like, I don't like him commenting on my abs because I never feel that. It's creepy. No, I was actually. It was a compliment, so I liked it. I was like, oh, my God, I do get abs, don't I? Thank you so much. But that's kind of creepy that you're my gynecologist and you're sticking your fingers in my vagina. But my gynecologist, I want. No, he draws me pictures of stuff like, here's like, how many eggs you have left? Which is like zero, and stuff like that.

Are you serious?

No, but he draws me pictures, like fertility charts. And I'll be like, I have them. They're like, little. The sperm swimming. And he loves drawing pictures and one time he did do pictures of my eggs through the years, and there's not a whole bunch, probably. I'm fine with that. I'm totally fine. I mean, if I wanted to use my eggs, I would use them.

You can get a lot of money for those. You should if you're not using them.

I could have. I could have. Now I'm not, like, top list. Like, now I can't sell them for 10,000 bucks or whatever kids do in college. Don't do that. Yeah, okay.

It sucks that you guys can get, like, 10 GS for your eggs and then sperm. You only can get, like, $5. It's terrible.

Can't you get more for sperm?

Not that much. I think it's like, honestly, you don't really get that much.

Wow. My eggs are big deal.

Yeah.

Okay. Hi.

Good.

Hi, Emily. I just wanted to comment that I love the episode y' all did with your assistant where she answered questions about her current relationship and how it came to be.

That was hilarious.

Kudos to her for being bold enough to tell the world. Emily was lovely as always. And Menace had me cracking up with his enthusiastic questions. Hope y' all are able to do more shows like this with different interns or just women of different ages and relationship statuses. Love you guys, and keep the great work. Katie from Dallas, she is a Premium Friends with Benefits member.

I was wondering why she was saying y'. All.

Because she's in Texas, y'.

All.

Okay, Lauren, you're up next. She's here.

Yeah. Lauren, come on down. You're here.

I do have an intern here, but we're not gonna have her talk until tomorrow.

Talk to her for a few minutes. Come on, Come on.

Oh, I love it.

Yes.

Okay, Katie, this is for you. This is what you get as a Premium Friends with Benefits member.

You get on camera or you just want to sit?

All right, Just grab the microphone and talk. Oh, there you go.

I don't remember what. When you were on last and what we talked about, which was boyfriend or did we not talk about it?

No, we didn't.

Is there a boyfriend?

No. No.

What's the latest? The guy with your.

Okay, hold on, guys. Oh. Is there certain things you don't want?

There's so many things.

I went on a second date with this guy that I met who I was kind of iffy about, and midway through the day, I wasn't really feeling it anymore. And we were at this show for my co worker, so I might have kind of, like, ditched him halfway.

What?

And I ended up making out with one of my co workers.

Oh, my God. You ditched him halfway through the show. Did he buy you tickets to the show?

No, no, no, it was free.

But you went together?

Yeah.

And then you were like, I didn't.

Break out with any of my co workers.

Oh, my God.

I'm just kidding. I made out with so many of them.

I was really, really drunk.

Now is it now is it weird?

Is it weird with a coworker?

Yeah, because, like, he was kind of like one of those guys you don't really see.

Right.

Sexual person.

Oh, so now do you?

He came out of left field. He jumped me.

So was it hot? Was it a good kiss?

He pounced because he saw that you were wasted.

No, shut up, Menace. Was it a good kiss? Stop it.

Yeah, it was. I think it was.

So now that. Well, do you. Do you see him sexual now when you look at him? Because it's true. Women are like that. Like, we don't. Men can become growers.

Yeah. I don't know. It's.

They grow on you.

Is he a grower or shower?

Yeah, I meant that, too, but no, I didn't mean that. But men can be growers or showers. But same with their personalities and their sexual. Their. Their sexual desire. I think, for me, like, it can grow. So.

So.

So are you into them now when you see him?

When I see him, it's like I start thinking about things, you know, like, oh, maybe. And I was like, no.

So it was the alcohol.

You're right.

Know what?

No. I've known him for, like, two years, so it's weird.

Two years.

So did you guys even talk about.

It a little bit.

You like, that was fun the other night. Why?

I don't want to talk about that.

Well, were you, like, I want to know what this means. Are we going to study?

No, no, no.

Just kidding.

I shot him a text, like, the next day. I was like, so the other night was interesting.

And he's like, yeah, they say, yeah, that was cool. That was it. Or you tried to get more in depth on him? Because I would. I would hate that so much.

Well, he. He's been texting me.

Oh, hey. He thinks the opportunity is open.

Totally. You made out with him. So what are you gonna do? Are you not that into him now? You sure. Go out with him again and get drunk and see what happens.

I feel like he might have just done it because I was drunk, though.

He took his chance, but then, see what happened?

He wasn't.

Because he probably was always Hot for you.

Was he drinking, too?

I think so.

Okay.

And he's been hot.

When he got courage to do it. He probably wanted to make out with you this whole time.

That's what I was just saying. I'm sure he's had a crush on you. You're adorable.

That's creepy, though.

Why? Like, most guys have crushes on you.

Probably know, like, knowing someone for, like, two years and not seeing like that and just suddenly like, oh, me? See, Me like that?

Shy.

Yeah, he was shy. And you? We had boyfriends, didn't you? No. No. So he just. Yeah. So now is. Who else is in the roster? Who else is in the rotation for you now?

That's it. We're doing holidays with family. Just me?

No. No men. Okay.

You're so cute.

I mean, Lauren, I feel like I love you.

What?

I'm, like, twitching.

Are you twitching? Nervous? Just us. Just us just hanging out.

And it's not even that scandalous what happened. So what?

Yeah, except for what happened to the guy that you ditched.

Is he upset?

Yeah, I think.

Is he crying?

I don't know. I wasn't into him. He wasn't.

All right, well, he's gone.

Two dates, he's done. Yeah.

Who cares? So. Oh, man. Are you. So you haven't even decided if you're gonna pursue this co worker guy?

I'm not gonna pursue it.

No, she's not into him.

All right.

Sometimes you can make out with people when you're drunk and then be sober and then still find them hot. But then sometimes you don't. That's the conclusion, so.

Are you lying? I mean, you just made out with him, right?

I just made out with him.

Okay. Sure.

Did you touch your breasts?

You just made out with them?

Okay.

Okay.

It gets hot in here.

He, like, tried to, like, push it a little further, and then I kind of, like, realized what I was doing.

With your breasts?

Yes.

Okay.

And then I, like, realized, and then I kind of, like, really stumbled out of it, and I was like, oh, my God. I have to go. Bye.

Oh, good.

That's not bad. So you're okay? You're safe. No boob touching.

At least you use the condom. It's cool.

No, she didn't let anyone touch her breast. She didn't even go to second base. All right, that's cute. That's good. Okay, keep us posted. We want to know more stuff that happens in your life and everyone's life. I mean, my life. I don't know. I've got. I've got Some stories that I'm saving to release slowly over the holidays.

I know you have some good stories, which I'm really happy about.

You're gonna laugh your ass off. People are gonna love my stories. Okay. No press, but they will.

Well, it was nice talking with you.

Nice talking, Lauren. Thank you so much for that. And we look forward to more an.

Update on what's going on until watch. He's gonna. He's gonna invite you to something.

True or not true?

Has he invited you to something?

No, I'm supposed to go on a double date with our other intern.

Really? Kelsey?

No, Aaron hooked me up with. She says I'm gonna be perfect with this one guy.

What does that mean? I gotta be care. Find out more like perfect, what does it mean when someone's like, you guys are perfect together? I always have people trying to fix me up, and it's kind of been a disaster lately. Like, all my crazy dates I've had have not been great, so be careful. Did you find out more info?

Well, all she told me was is that he's kind of nerdy, but he's cute and he's tall and he likes to worship his ladies.

Oh, God, that's awesome.

Sounds like a weirdo to me.

No, we need the women. We need to be worshipped.

Yeah, well, keep us posted.

You need to be worshiped.

I need to be. Honey, all women need to be worshiped. And if woman.

If you.

If you are not feeling worshiped right now by your lover, then you should do something about that and change it. Because not every second of every day, but you want to feel that you're.

Worship. Worship to me. Because.

Okay, a guy who's just like, you are.

Amazing. You are. You are smart and you're beautiful and you're funny and you turn me on and I just walk in the room and I can't help it. And you're. You're ever. You're just great and everything. Appreciate all the weird things that you do. Like they find adorable and cute and all the stuff that you think is, like, kind of quirky and weird. Like, they. They see that too and just love that about you. Like, they love all your foibles and your blessings and they just appreciate you and see you for who you are.

You need like a gay best friend. Like a gay man best friend.

Oh. Oh, really?

I needed to help fill that void for you right now.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Because you think they would worship me?

Hell yeah. I'm sure they would love you.

Okay, well, that's. That's another solution. To going on bad dates. I'll just get some gay best friends.

You get a gay best friend. I'm sure he will compliment you all the time, and you love it. And then, I mean, you can date somebody on the side.

No, I don't need the compliments all the time. I'm saying I want to just know that a guy. I'm talking about the overall worship. Like, not just the daily worship, not compliments. I'm just going to a deeper level of men who just.

But you still want a man to be a man, because sometimes, yeah, but.

It doesn't make him a pussy if he's like, I just think you're amazing and great and you deserve all the things in the world that you want. Not from. Not that he's giving them to you, but you're amazing and you're. I don't know, you're just a good person. You're solid. They see you for who you are. Like, that, to me, is like worshiping, like, you, you know, and you, like, you know, rub my feet and stuff. That would be awesome.

And paint your toenails.

Exactly. Okay. Hi, Emily. I met a guy online, and we've been talking for three weeks over the phone. I recently met him face to face for the first time, and I was really nervous. We've had great phone conversations. He makes me laugh, and the phone sex is fun. However, when we met, I was not impressed. Granted, it wasn't an official date, but the way he dressed turned me off. He's 35 years old, and if I didn't know it, I would have thought he was 21. Am I being superficial? To me, this is a deal breaker, Michelle. Okay, Michelle, here's the deal. I'm so glad you brought this up. This is. This comes up a lot. And I learned this, like, in my 20s from my mother that I used to complain about what guys wore. I'm like, oh, my God, he was so great, but his shoes were horrible. Or the way he wore shorts in downtown San Francisco, which you just don't ever wear shorts in San Francisco anyway. Even if it's hot, you don't. You can change a man's clothes. You can take him shopping. You can change your style. Some guys don't care. They don't. Shopping. They don't care. They don't. They don't take the time. They never learned it. They never had a girlfriend with good taste or a mom with good taste that helped them. And you. This is not. This should not be a deal breaker. You can take someone Shopping and change the whole situation. Some guys. So he might not have innate fashion sense. So what he's still like. That is not a deal breaker. Telling you. What do you think?

Oh no, but I mean I love girls that.

Right.

That dress nice.

Right?

I know, but if a girl doesn't dress nice, would you not be into her?

No, she wasn't. Like at least has her own little bit of style. That's cool. I know some women that just have no style at all.

Right.

Don't care about. And it's not that I don't find them attractive. I just don't think they're.

It's good to have a thing.

And it's weird because I know some women that are just this beautiful. Like really good looking. But like no fashion sense. Now I'm talking like a gay man.

Yeah.

And I just don't find them as hot.

Right. Because clothes says a lot. Closes a statement who you are. Yeah, totally. But I don't think it's a deal breaker. And she's having good connection with them. They've had phone sex. Blah, blah, blah. He's 35 years old. Take him shopping.

Yeah.

I mean I have friends. I actually never even with the guy that. It bugged me. I never really. I don't. I think I did say something to him once, but I.

There are.

There are schools of women who like right away are like, I hate that shirt. Take it off, we're going shopping. They bring them home clothes. Like I have a lot of friends who do that. Like they're super verbal to men about how they feel about what they wear. And the guy's like, whatever, I'll wear whatever you get me.

Yeah, as long as you're paying for it. I love when women buy me clothes. I'll. It's weird because the women that buy me clothes, they. They have like fashion sense or something. Because I like everything that they give.

Really the same. There's only like a few women that buy you clothes or yeah, I could buy you clothes. I buy you a hoodie and a T shirt. How hard is that?

I have a friend in la. Every T shirt she gives me, I love it.

Oh, I would buy a T shirt.

You should. It's weird.

I gave you a sex with Emily T shirt and you never wore it.

Yeah. Cuz added like a jizz stain on it. That's why they ironed on the logo wrong or something. But I had. You know, I have seven pairs of Hudson jeans and they're all ripped and I can't wear.

I Know I hate that. I love Hudson jeans. They're so awesome.

And I looked on. I looked because I. I didn't pay for them. They were gifts. Are you all right?

My nose is really stuffy.

Okay. Yeah. And there were. I looked on how much they were. They're expensive.

Like, 200 bucks.

Yeah. I got seven pairs for free.

Yeah. You didn't realize at the time.

Should have stayed in that relationship.

Hudson should be our sponsor. Because I love Hudson jeans.

Yeah.

Yeah. That would be awesome to have them as our sponsor. Okay. That's all we got time for right now.

Today.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. We're wrapping up.

I want to hear.

I have to. Well, we can talk more.

Are you excited to be back here in San Francisco?

Yes, I'm excited to be home. I'm excited to be back in San Francisco. I feel really excited for the holidays coming up because I can just chill. I've been working really hard on this project the last few weeks, and I have not had any time to just chill. And I have no plans. And I'm just gonna, like, be with friends and hang out and do nothing. And that, to me, I'm gonna relax. I'm gonna work. I'm just gonna, like, do stuff for me, and that feels really good and healthy.

Cool.

What are you gonna do?

We'll probably meet up about some new stuff for the show, and I hear everybody's complaints about audio. I figured out the solution.

We got a bunch of stuff.

Yeah, they're just. You know, there's. Because of a whole new system that we went through. There's a lot. Not a lot of stuff that I could do, but I think I just figured out a way to make it how it used to sound, and we're. We'll be all good, right?

Okay, good.

Anybody that's been complaining about the audio? I hear you. I know everything. I hear all your suggestions.

We totally got it.

I get it.

We're.

I'm gonna fix it.

All right. Okay. So. And we're gonna come back in the new year with, like, amazing, amazing new changes and exciting things.

And there was all this weird period of time and stuff. I know, like, been going on for months. Like, what the hell's wrong with you guys? I'm telling you, it all changes today, and it's gonna be good.

I can't wait. Okay. One more thing I have to say is, Jimmy Jane, if you're still shopping for the holidays, Jimmy Jane, sex toys are unbelievable. They make amazing gifts. They're beautiful. They're like pieces of art. Go to jimmyjane.com you get $25 off purchases over $100 and go to the Emily's Picks page. You can go to my website even and it says Emily's Picks Jimmy Jane. You get. You put in Emily 25 at checkout for your special offer for your special discount. And they're amazing gifts for the holidays. I give people. Everyone Jimmy Jane toys.

Cool.

Except for you because I could give you a vibrating ring though. I could give you one of their cock rings.

One of their cock rings?

Yeah.

For Christmas present, why not throw it in there?

Really?

Would you use it with someone?

Maybe. Or maybe I'll use it for sex toy. For massaging.

They have an amazing one. Would you really?

Would I use it? I don't know. Just with a chick.

Okay.

Okay. I didn't know. I'm so happy. Menace just said yes to a sex toy.

It's a new year, everybody.

Oh my God. There's so much happening in 2012. It's gonna be friggin amazing. So stick with Sex with Emily and we're gonna make you really happy in the new year.

And thank you everybody here at Stitcher that we've been using their studio for the past year. That's S T I. I always have to look at the sign.

I know.

S T I T C H E R Stitcher. It's a free app. Download it. Search Sex with Emily. You can listen to the show on your smartphone.

Yeah. So easy. That's how I listen. So we hope that you listen to that and we hope that you become a friends with benefits member if you're not, because we. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep.

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