SWE: Tweak the Twinkie

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, Sex, relationships, and everything in between. Thanks so much for listening to the show. You can also watch the show. It's our free Friday show. And we're also excited to be on Sirius XM Extreme Talk 165. No, Extreme Talk XM165. They know what we're talking about. They're listening to the station. So you know where you are. Yeah, yeah, it's the weekend. We're excited. Today's show, if you haven't heard me mention it, this week, you know, we do three shows a week. It's masturbation month. Woo. May so much masturbation, you know, and you're probably thinking, why do we need a month for masturbation? Because masturbation happens 247 is so important. It is sex with someone you love. And there's no better way to enhance your sex life than to masturbate, especially for women.

Is that why you did the Woody Allen tweet today?

Yes.

And what was the quote of Woody Allen?

The quote was the.

Best sex day. What was it? He says.

I don't know.

You don't want to misquote Woody Allen.

I don't want to misquote myself quoting Woody Allen. I was the best I ever had. Of course, Woody Allen. So I love Woody Allen. And so we are talking about that. We're gonna give some tips on female masturbation and mutual masturbation, which is one of my favorite topics, because I think mutual masturbation is an amazing way for couples to learn what the other one likes, what turns them on. You can just see him do it. You're like, oh, that's how he holds his penis and that's how she touches her clit. And it's great. So we're gonna get into that. We've got sex in the news. We've got so much to talk about today. My head is spinning. I'm so excited.

Amazing.

And it's the weekend.

I know I'm still on a height. I was telling you just before the show started, I am on a high because you know me, I visit dot com offices all the time.

All the time. You're just at Facebook and Pixar.

Yeah, just like going there and seeing what they're doing and what I can learn and maybe, you know, integrate it into things that I do work in radio. So I've been wanting to visit Zynga for a very long time.

Everyone knows Zynga is a lot of people.

It's. It's gaming. They actually just launched their. It's Zynga.com where you can actually play the games. Before then it was really popular.

Facebook. Through Facebook, everyone's. And Words with Friends is probably their most popular game.

No, farmville and farmville. Yeah. And a lot of other.

Okay, a lot of other.

So many. So many games.

I'm just trying to give people references.

Yeah. And. Oh my God. So I go there yesterday just to have lunch with a buddy who works in support. I walk in and there's a. It's a tube that's all LED lights that you walk through. Like a tunnel, right? And it's open source, so people can program it. You know, all these, like, crazy, crazy things. Then you walk to the left. Or there's a cafeteria with just like a straight buffet. Like you're in Las Vegas. You just pick whatever you want and eat. And then the workers, they could bring their dogs to work.

Which is named after his dog, Zynga. That's a good. Yeah, yeah.

You would love this.

I would love this.

They had a dog parking station. So you parked a dog and so you can go get your food and then you come back and you pick up your dog.

That's amazing.

And I happened to go on pajama day, so everyone's dressed in pajamas.

That's so fun.

That's. That's nothing. So you go there and eat real quick. And then I take a little tour. And they have this huge atrium which is this beautiful. Then you go into other levels where they have different break rooms. And some of the break rooms are themed. So there's a sweet room which is all candy, and they have, like, big barrels of candy, and you just grab the candy and stuff like that. And then you go down to the. To the basement and there's like a big, huge. It looks like a sports bar and there's all these plasmas everywhere playing sports games and old school video arcade games. It was beautiful. It was one of the most amazing offices I've ever visited.

Ever. That is so cool.

Ever.

Yeah. And I. One of the own. The guy who started it, Mark Pincus is his name, is a very. One of my oldest and dearest friends. And Zingo is his dog that he had for many years. He was obsessed with his dog, Zynga.

Do you know what kind of dog it was?

It was a. Yeah, it was like American bulldog or something. No, it was some kind of exotic bulldogish. I can't remember.

Yeah, I think I was kind of right, because.

No, no, no. It was.

Alaskan something. Something. He told me a million times. I don't remember.

It was years ago. You never remember anything.

We've been friends for 10 years. I have pictures of me and Zynga hanging out. But one time, Mark and I were in Aspen hiking, and we were with Zynga and we lost her. And I was like, not into dogs then. And I was like, that's cool. We'll just get lunch. She'll come back. And he's like we have to find my dog.

Yeah. People.

I know I didn't understand it then. And now he laughs that I have a dog. He's like, I can't believe that you have a dog. Anyway, Zynga is an amazing company. Everyone knows about it. Check it out. I know. And they just. My friend Eric was in charge of building it out the whole office and designing it.

Yeah, it was. It was. It's. I'm speechless on how amazing.

That's cool. Yeah, my office is pretty cool too. It's. Yeah, it is. Have you been to my office lately? I've got sex toys everywhere. Every inch. Like it freaks me out. Okay.

And we got all this moved into an another office.

Old office temporarily when we were shooting. And then we had to move down to. Back to my other smaller office. What? It's small. It's not Zynga. I know. Sometimes I bring in pop chips for people.

I thought Pixar was incredible because they have a swimming pool there. But I mean this place is. Wow.

It's crazy.

It's really cool. I am definitely gonna go look for an area that. Where I can apply just like, you know, maybe part of the.

Are you gonna leave me?

No. No, never that.

Okay.

That's fine. But I. You know, I really want to transition into working@a.com to support me financially and do radio for fun.

Yeah.

Because I really don't want to.

Because we don't get rich doing radio Pl. We don't make any money.

Yeah.

But we love what we do. Cause we get to talk about sex. And Menace gets to talk about other things too on his other shows. But we. I also want to say that today's show is. But we got a few sponsors. We got AdamAndEve.com and you get 50% off most of your items for a limited time. You can pick your own three adult DVDs and use Coupon code Emily at checkout. I just wanted to say that. And this weekend. So what else do you. Now that you're coming down from your Zinga high, what's your. Do you. Big plans for the weekend?

Big plan for. I got invited to a party but it just started raining and the party.

Now that's a huge bummer.

Yeah. It was supposed to be outside the party. So I don't get to rain all.

Weekend because I can't handle it.

I don't know. But it just.

I can because I have to be inside all weekend. So I've got this. So everyone knows if they mean announcements, but I'm going To be on a new Bravo reality TV show called Misadvised. And it's probably going to premiere the spring, the fall. And so what they do is they come back and they shoot. So we finished shooting it in December, but they've continued to shoot the interview part, the parts that narrate it. So they're coming back and interviewing me all weekend long in my house from Saturday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday, from, like, 9 to 7. I sit in a chair and they grill me on questions about you and life and all that stuff and everything that happened. But. So I'm not really gonna see much of outdoors this weekend.

That sucks.

But if it's raining, I don't really care.

Yeah, who cares? Yeah.

Doesn't really matter.

I think I'll just stay inside and look at my Reebok pumps all day.

Oh, my God. I saw your picture of Reebok pumps.

Bought some Reebok poems that people don't know. I've been searching for them forever in my size. Found the ones that I wanted when I was a little kid Bought them. First day I wear them. It's freaking raining outside.

Oh, man. Are they leather or something? No, but are you wearing them now?

Yeah.

Let me see. Oh, did you pump them up?

Yeah, I pumped them up.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They got the little red thing.

The little Pump.

The pump. Okay. Can I pump them for you later?

Oh, yeah, I have.

Do I know you well enough to pump them?

It's a little weird because I had. I had a female in the office before I got here. Ask me if she can pump up my shoes.

Yeah, that's a little. That's a little fun.

That's a little weird. So I was, like, standing there and she was on her hands and knees and, like, pumping my shoes, which I thought it was.

I was just gonna do that.

Awkward.

Okay, that is awkward. I'm glad. I'm not gonna do it anymore. Okay, forget it. Bad idea. Bad idea.

But, yeah, man, just, you know, if you guys haven't been listening to the show, like, I don't know, I'm on this weird kick of buying everything that I couldn't afford in the 90s. So I've been going on the Internet and buying.

What else are you buying?

Things.

I love ebay. I can find anything in the world that you want.

I found out that they still make LA Gear shoes. Do you remember la?

Yes. What? Yes, they.

They make only four shoes now, and they're actually really cool. Okay, so maybe I'll buy some of Those.

Yeah, you should do that.

I'm not on. Like, I'm not a sneaker head guy. I'm not gonna buy a million sneakers and keep them on ice is what they call them, where people just buy a ridiculous amount of shoes.

Yes. A lot of guys are tennis shoes.

And then they just, like, keep them in their closet like they're toys.

Yeah. I know a lot of men who are obsessed with their tennis shoes, and they buy them sneakers. Whatever.

I can't do that. I gotta wear them.

You gotta wear them. That's good, baby. That's good to wear your stuff.

So anything else going on, I want to hear you.

Last night, you called me because you were watching Bethany.

Oh, I was.

What was. What was that all about?

There's a part of Bethany where I totally thought, okay, this would be Emily. Where they were sitting. They were on vacation somewhere, I believe, in Mexico. I could be wrong. And they're sitting in a chapel, and apparently the husband thought, oh, this is a beautiful chapel. You know, this would be great to do some wedding vows. And she goes, what? You're planning on getting married again? Getting married again. And he was implying because it was really close to their anniversary and she had no idea it was like, their anniversary. Yeah. Yeah.

Was he mad at her?

He was a little upset. And I go, oh, my God, this would totally be eminent.

You think I wouldn't remember an anniversary with a guy?

Hell, no, you wouldn't.

I don't write it down. I mean, I can roughly remember things. Yeah. I could see that being me.

What?

And I'd insult some guy and he'd be mad at me. So I don't really have many because I don't date guys for that.

So I watched. I watched the show. And also coming up is them talking about working together, because.

Which I. You know what? See, this is the part I don't get. And you say that men have a problem with this all the time, where a woman is more successful and they make a lot more money than the man that they're with.

Some guys are uncomfortable with that.

Sure.

I love it. I. Oh, my God, Please go right.

Go make money. Right. I can just keep ordering Reeboks. I get it. No, I get it. Well, because you're a confident man. There's a lot of men who feel very tied to their earning potential or what they're making, you know, what they're making for a living. And if a woman tops them, they can't handle them.

That. Yeah.

I'm not saying every guy's like, that I'm gonna make more probably, than any guy I'm with. And they're gonna have to be okay with that.

Yeah.

When I'm really rich.

And he was. They were, like, deciding if he should just, you know, become part of her.

Company and quit his job.

Quit his job and just.

Oh, wow. They talked about. So what did they decide?

Well, that was the cliffhanger.

Cliffhanger.

Because they were still trying to decide it. Because he's like, you know, I. I don't know what to do.

My mom. My stepdad dealt with that. They worked together, and my mom did way better than he did. They sell their financial planners and they worked. My mom brought him into her company because he was in the military for many years, and they worked together, and it was a little stressful. Like, I think he stopped. He stopped doing it after, like, 10 years. My mom. My mom's, like, the best in her. Like, that's the woman who excels out of all the men. Like, she wins all the awards and all the trips because she sells the most whatever she does. And I think my step had a problem with that. I mean, now he loves it. She's a breadwinner. Like, she has a house in Florida, and she does really well. Whatever. But I think it took him a while, like, because men's egos are very fragile. But I know you're saying, yeah. You're like, not me. Give me a millionaire. Millionaires. Go.

Go make that money, honey.

Right?

I do not care.

Yeah, I hear you. That's good. That's good. I would never want my.

My significant other. She has millions of dollars.

Oh, my God.

My life is terrible.

Yeah.

Shut up.

Exactly.

God, it's so. It's so crazy.

I understand that a lot. I know they have egos like that. And it's just because it's typical in our society that men are the breadwinner. So when women do it. It. And it has to. It takes a strong man and a strong woman not to be annoyed. Like, I actually have several married friends who are women who are the breadwinners, and they often get annoyed at their husbands. Cause they're like, I'm so tired of bringing it all home. Like, can't you make more money or do something else, too? Cause I'm making all the money. So it's, like, all different ways.

Well, yeah, that's. I don't know if that's fair. Only if the man is lazy and doesn't want to.

Well, that's what my friend thinks. She thinks her husband's lazy. Cause he hasn't looked for new. He has a job, but he could be making a lot more. And she thinks he doesn't push himself enough. But this has been their problem since they've been married. And I'm like, he's not gonna. Like, this is just how he is. But she.

Yeah, but at least he has.

She makes a ton of money. He has a job.

At least he has a job.

He has a job, but he could do better. And she's super ambitious, but, you know, opposites attract. So usually there's. I mean, it's rare that you find both people, like, completely excelling in a relationship, making the same amount of money. Right. Isn't that rare?

It is very rare.

I'm drinking Coke Zero right now, so it's.

You are.

They should be a sponsor.

You rob you robstitcher.com of all the Coke Zeros.

I love Coke Zero. It's amazing. We're at the Stitcher Studios. It's a really easy way to listen to podcasts. So you can download the app to your smartphone. Stitcher.

S T I T C H E R and they let us use your studios. And I drink their Cokes and I.

Eat all their snacks.

Yeah, it's good.

And the app is totally free. It's really.

The app is really free.

Just search sex with Emily if you want to listen.

Yeah. And if you're in the mood to download apps, you can download my app, Kegel Camp, which helps men and women have stronger orgasms. It's really easy to do. And. And I've been actually experiencing Kegel exercises. You know, doctors prescribe them. They help men and women. They help men with premature ejaculation. They help women strengthen, have harder, harder, longer, stronger orgasms. They help women with urinary incontinence. As you get older and as you have kids, you pee by, like, pee dribbles out. You tighten your muscles. So there. They make all these Kegel balls now. Like. Like Lila. Like, a bunch of different brands make them. And I've been wearing them. I told you this last week.

Yeah.

Didn't I tell you this? Like, you stick them inside you. They're weighted balls.

Jesus.

Like a tampon. And I've been wearing them around, and they actually exercise. You can do your Kegel exercises a lot easier. And they just. While you're wearing them, they don't get stuck in there.

And then you're gonna go to a doctor.

No, they're like string. String. You can pull them out. I know this is Graphic, but too much information.

Like anal beads.

No, they're not anal beads, but they're like beads like that. And you can buy them at any of our sponsors places because we appreciate when you do that. Good Vibrations. Goodvibes.com use coupon code GVMLY15 for 15% off anything.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good. That I have. That I have Kegel. That I have the balls. That I have balls in my vagina.

You know what you should do also? You know, not to get crazy unplugging everything, but you also have a book.

I have a book. Hot. Over 200 things you can try tonight.

Yeah, you can buy it on Amazon and all a bunch of other places you should do. I know it's based off a lot of illustrations, but you should figure out a way to do an audiobook form of it that. I think that would be cool.

Really? Just read it?

Yeah, my buddy, he's in the middle of recording his audiobook, so I think that would be cool if you can figure out a way to describe.

Well, I think we could also. I mean it is descriptive. It's. The words are descriptive around the photographs, around the illustration.

Is there a Kindle version?

No. No. I know, it's so. Well, no, because the book is a beautiful. And it's really reasonably priced too, but beautiful illustrations and so. No, we haven't done that. We've been approached and I'm talking to my publisher about it.

There's like Kindle Fire, which is col. So but I don't know if Apple pays for that.

Yeah, well, that sex, it's hard. It's hard. There's some graphic images in it. Don't not say for work. Oh no, I hate when you're not safe for work. No, it totally is. It's not dirty at all.

Oh no, it's not. And then also you could probably. You could probably have it in Android too. Android's down with that kind of stuff.

Yeah, working on it. Then I'll do that. That's a good idea.

Do it.

Okay, let's move into some sex in the news. Menace.

Sex in the news. What do you got?

Okay, this is what I got for you. I've got. This is amazing. This was in the news this morning. The we Vibe is now the most popular sex toy.

What?

So the we Vibe is a soft crescent shaped and Barney purple. The we Vibe isn't what most people imagine when they think of a sex toy. But it's the vibrator for couples created four years ago by An Ottawa Husband, wife, husband and wife team has recently been crowned the king of the sex toy world, outselling its competitors by 3 to 1. And it's the best selling toy since the Rotating Rabbit. It is currently sold over 1.5 million units and will soon be available in friggin Walgreens. So the We Vibe, I got one years ago and it's really cool because it's hard to explain. It's like a C shape and it's flexible and there's vibrations on both points of the sea.

Yeah.

And a woman, you can. It's the. They call it a couple's vibrator because the woman sticks it inside, slides it inside her, plus the other half goes around and hits her cliff. So it's like the C. Does that make sense? That goes in her clamp. It's a clamp. It looks like a clamp, but it's soft and pliable. And so when he go, he can also. There's also room slim so the man can go inside you his penis and he can feel the vibrations, which feel really good. So she's getting her clitoris and her G spot vibrated with vibration. Like it's just amazing. The We Vibe. So you can check out the We Vibe. Like I said, I'm gonna plug our sponsors again. The easiest one to do is AdamAndEve.com, coupon code Emily and you get 50% off most items and three adult DVDs. The deal with the we vibe is I've been dying. I have one, but now they have a version 3. And a lot of couples, a lot of women can't have orgasms during sex. They can't. They need extra clitoral stimulation. That is like, what's going to say in my grave? Like, you need extra clitoral stimulation. Like, seriously. That's all I say. But this, this vibrator helps you do it. I'm just excited about them. They're not a sponsor or anything, but I'm excited that they're doing well because they're a good toy.

That's good.

Can you tell how excited I am?

Yes, you're very excited. You love Pimpin the Toys.

I love Pimpin the Toys. New French gadget. Gets you drunk instantly. Sobers you up just as quickly.

What?

Ready? Menace. This is for you. If you like being drunk, but not for more than, say, half a minute, then the Wah Quantum Sensation aerosol spray is for you. It's like a Bianca breath spray. It delivers a tiny dose of alcohol directly to your mouth and gives You. An instant drunk sensation that lasts just seconds. Its French developers say it will get rid of the harm of drinking while retaining the fun, while critics feel it will be abused by alcoholics and can lead to accidents. For €20, the device prides you with 21 shots, but at the moment, it's only available in Paris. Sounds like a whippet or something. Do you ever do whippets?

No.

Oh, me neither.

I've seen people do whippets once.

Yeah? Yeah, it's like the aerosol. It's like the. What is it called? The whippet. It's the.

It's like. Damn it. How do you explain. Oh, well, you can take it.

Nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide. And you suck on it.

Thank God the interns are smart.

Thank God the interns are. Thank God there's so many brains in the room. Jesus Christ. But why would you want to get drunk for only a few seconds?

I don't know. That sounds stupid, but maybe if it gets you kind of high, maybe people would be down for it. Yeah, it's so funny. I was at Coachella, which is a music festival, and I was backstage.

I was walking by the trailers, and there was this famous band who I do not will not mention, they were, like, doing Whip. It's like, crazy.

Yeah, they're fun, but they're bad for you.

Right across. Right across from their trailer, like, seriously, 10ft away, was Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and Steve Aoki, like, just laughing, watching them.

They weren't doing them, though.

They weren't doing.

Oh, that'd be a better story if they were doing them.

It would.

Very desperate Housewife Bethany, rumored to have hooked up with the situation.

What?

Rumors are swirling that Bethany Frankel of the Real Housewives of New York City hooked up with Jersey Shore Guido miked the situation and the fallout from the cheating scandals threatening to destroy her already troubled marriage.

This is not.

I don't know if it's true. I can't imagine that it would happen.

It would come from Hocus Pocus dot com.

I don't even want to.

Shenanigans dot com.

I don't even want to say where it came from.

But I just thought I'd mention it online. I bet you heard of it.

I'm lying.net.

She spent 5.5minutes making out with him.

What? Well, I could see that maybe. Okay, but not like I can't believe it's true. That's why we have to define hooking up.

It says they kissed. Ew. Why would she kiss him?

Because this. All right, My day and age, my generation, the people that I talk to on a daily basis, Hooking up means sex. Hooking up doesn't mean making money.

We're gonna have this debate again.

I don't know why you fight all the time.

Hooking up means that you did everything but have sex. You had sex. You had sex.

Do you want to just pick a letter out of my cell phone? We'll call the name on my cell phone and we'll ask them, and they'll totally agree with me.

I don't. What do you. What do the interns think? Assistant, Everyone.

We hooked up. They said, somebody get on a microphone over here. Who's ever closer?

Come here, come here, Kelsey.

All right, now don't just agree with Emily, because it's Emily and she's your boss. Okay? Now tell me why. If you agree with her, or tell me why you agree with me. Okay, now, on the street, when people say we hooked up, do you think automatically, oh, we made out or we had sex?

I would say, hand job plus, get the hell out. I did not tell her to say that.

Yeah, right. You winked.

Hand job. I mean, hooking up doesn't mean sex. You had sex. Are you hooked up? I mean, you hooked up means you did everything. But no, I think you could still have sex. But it could also be. It doesn't necessarily mean you had sex. You. Like, in high school, hooking up was like dry humping. Right? Now it's probably sex, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's sex. Doesn't necessarily mean sex, but it can be sex.

You describe it. Hooking up means we had sex.

Okay?

Anything other than that would say.

You just.

You say, what? Oh, you know, she gave me fellatio.

This article says they hooked up, and then when you get into the article, it says they made out for.

I know. That's why I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying.

That's why I'm trying to break it down for you. I go, this is stupid, because they said they hooked up. That means.

Okay, I automatically. Wrong. Hooking up is wrong. It's wrong. I'm sorry, I.

The article is wrong. I think it even. I think, why does it matter?

But really, it does matter because I'm right. But I know.

I'm just saying that people.

If you say we hooked up, I don't assume.

Not the bag on the east coast, but only people on the east coast says hooking up, it only involves, like, making out, stuff like here on the West coast, you had sex if you said you hooked up.

I disagree. If you didn't, email us FeedBakexWithemily or tweet.

Tweet Emily.

Tweet Emily.

Sex with Emily.

Sex with Emily.

Ex with Emily. Tweet Sex themly. Let her know that she's wrong.

Or on my Facebook page, sex themly. Or my Instagram sex themly.

Ccwhitemenace ytemenace.

Right.

And tell me how right I am.

Right. Tell us that we're wrong so that he's wrong. Okay. Ask Men finds. You know, Ask Men, the website. It's a very popular website. They do a lot of misogynistic advice for men. So Ask Men finds men's ideal age for marriage. Online magazine Ask Men aim to find out if today's dudes really do want to stay single forever. And the results are surprising. The majority of its readers polled, 74% said that the ideal age was 28 to 30. Well, 21% responded that 35 was ideal. Not many men wanted to get married at 40, with only 5% opting to tie the knot at that age. So most people think between 28 and 30, you should get 74%.

28 and 30?

Yeah. I think it should be more like between 30 and 35 is a good time to get married.

Yeah, it is.

That's what I think. But that's what these men found. The study.

So you're gonna get married?

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not getting married. I think it's like, I'm. It's too. It seems like a lot of work. Like, you gotta, like, do the table. You know what always scared me about getting married, beyond the whole commitment thing, was the table settings. Like, deciding who sits next to whom. And like, going shopping for get. Like, you gotta register and you gotta get a dress and the white dress and the whole thing. I'm like, it's been done.

I.

So everyone gets to do that. I'd rather do something else more interesting.

I don't think too much about the ceremony, but I think about the reception.

Yeah, I'd love to have a party.

I love to plan a reception. Like, whoever I'm marrying needs to move the hell out of the way. Cause I'm planning the reception.

Are you?

And it's gonna be.

See, I would never want to.

It's gonna be the best reception you've ever been to.

I know. I can't wait for you to get married. Can I make a speech?

Yes. We're gonna have Funkmaster Flex in the mix. You know, he's gonna be dropping bombs on fools and then we're gonna have bands come out like Green Day. I don't know.

Oh, it sounds fun. Menace. I can't wait to see the woman that you marry.

Yeah, she's gonna be a lucky lady, isn't she?

Uh huh. Yeah.

I'm gonna give her a menace Owner's manual.

Okay.

About what you want, what you don't want. Because I feel like I know. Okay, we've got some emails from the people from the Weeples. We love hearing from the Weeples. It's FeedBackextWithemily.com we try to get to all your emails and if we don't, we will eventually. And if we never do, doesn't mean we don't love you.

Okay, Emily couldn't read them all.

That means I couldn't.

She has add.

I do have add. So keep them short and to the point and tell us where you're from. Hi, Emily Menis. Love the show. You guys are doing great. Just want to say that over the past year of listening, I've picked up a lot of information from you guys. Keep up with the good work and come through Chicago sometimes. I would love to see you two face to face. Lots of love. Thomas from Joliet, Illinois. You love Chicago?

I love it.

I'm a premium friends with benefits member. What?

From Chicago. On the phone last night. I think I kind of annoyed him because I was setting up an interview.

Oh, okay.

I was like, oh, you're in Chicago. I love Chicago.

I love Chicago. Yeah, people don't care.

And then they're like, oh, that's great.

Yeah. They're like, gotta go, I'm busy. No, it's cold here. Yeah, I mean. Cause it is, It's. Yeah. Midwest. It's freezing. Hi, Emily. Hope you're good. Oh, and anyway, thank you, Thomas. We love hearing those comments that you love the show and change your life.

And again, don't forget ADD in there how you listen to the show.

Yeah, we want to know, do you listen to it on your phone?

XM.

XM on the web.

Sexfamily.com.

There'S so many ways to listen, it's almost hard not to listen. Emily, hope you're good. Love the show and the work that you and Menace are doing every week. I'm 25 years old and I've been dating my girlfriend for eight years. Eight years this month.

Wow. Okay. We've spent. That's a long time to be together. We've spent most of that time apart. And we never really lived together besides the time we spent together in college and the getaways we have now and again. We have a great sex life and I get all I need from her when she's in the mood. That is my one major issue, though, is that she does not go down on me. She has barely tried over these eight years and says she's not comfortable with it any more. Inquiring on my part and we're bound to argue about it. I love going down on her. And no, I can't push her to do what she doesn't want to do. Of course.

Wait, he goes down on her.

Let me finish.

Okay? This is ridiculous.

How would you suggest I can warm her up to the idea? This is Robbie from Lusaka. Lusaka zm.

What?

Where the hell is that?

Lusaka. Lusaka zm. Can you guys get on the Google, please? What's the m. We're gonna find out.

Okay, so the point is, this is the thing. Give. It sounds like you're giving and you're receiving and you're not. You're giving. And usually when you give, you receive and it's not happening. So I would say you should still go down on her if you want to go down on her. But there actually are ways. Like, first of all, I would.

Oops.

Wow, My phone. There are ways that you can. First of all, I would talk to her about why she doesn't want to. What is it about her? Where is it?

Zambia. That's in a place I've never even heard of. What's Zambia?

Africa. It's in Africa.

Oh, Africa in the house.

That's awesome. Okay, so listen. So. So listen. Listen, people. Listen up. This is what I want to say. First, you need to talk to her about why she doesn't want to do it. It sounds like she says no, and you ask her to and she says no, and then back and forth. But find out specifically, what is it that she doesn't like? Is she afraid that she's bad at it? I know there's a lot of women who think they're not very good at it. There's some women who just don't like the thought of a penis being her mouth. They don't like the taste of semen. I would find out what it is. Maybe she had a bad experience once. Maybe she thinks I would just try to get to the bottom of it. So get more information. However, I've got an amazing new invention for you that would. I think if a woman has a problem with oral sex, she will totally be down with going down. And if she tries masque, it's M, A, S, Q, U, E. And it's like that list. Remember, we brought these in a few months ago. It's a Listerine strip that masks the taste of semen. For some, the taste associated with fellatio can make giving oral sex undesirable. And it comes in four flavors. Chocolate, strawberry, mango, and watermelon. And it can bring you guys closer together if they're into, you know, if she's into it. So maybe she doesn't like the taste or it gags or makes her uncomfortable. You put these things in your mouth, it dissolves and then has, like, this minty feeling after. And they're really super cool. So go to their website, Mask. You can buy them. You can buy them in stores. You can buy them at Good Vibes or Adam and Eve. I believe you can buy them anywhere now.

But maybe I just also, mentally, maybe she doesn't want to put a penis in her mouth.

Well, that's what I wanted. He needs more information because it's not going to happen by him saying, will you go down to me? And she says, no, will you go down to me? You know, it's been eight years. They've been having the same freaking conversation for eight years. Which is the problem with most couples, by the way. If you look at. If you're in a relationship and you're listening and. And you look at the issues you've been having, I bet you've been having the same argument for a while. But have you ever gone deeper? You need to stop. A lot of times couples stay up in one level and they keep having the same argument, but they never get into the heart of it. Like, why. So, like, why doesn't she want to perform oral sex? And you, like, what's it about? Like, so every. And think about whatever your issue is. Like, go deeper with it. This weekend, everyone. Go deeper with your issues with your partner, because you keep having the same fight over and over again. And a lot of couples don't ever move past things because they're like, I did it. No, you did it. And you never pick up your clothes. Well, you never. But, like, what's it all about?

Yes.

Yes.

I've been getting a lot of tweets lately, actually, from the listeners. And you think that I'm joking, but I'm not.

Okay.

They've been asking me about the. The sex toy that I've been developing. The dump truck.

Jesus. No, you have not.

I swear, I'll show it to you. And I've been getting tweets from listeners.

And saying they want a dump truck.

They want to.

Yeah, it's so hot and sexy sounding.

They want to update on the dump truck.

Can we work on the name?

No, that's. It's all about the name. So the dump truck. I've been having some issues with the scientists in Japan. It's been catching on fire lately. But we'll get the kinks worked out.

I bet you will. You're the last person to be developing.

A sex toy, and it'll hit the market by storm.

The dump truck.

The dump truck.

It's a sexy baby.

Hey, baby.

I want to check out my new toy. It's called the Dump Truck. So sexy.

This is catching on fire issue has been really a downer menace.

Okay. Hi, Emily. I'm only 22 years old and have no problem getting an erection. But while I'm having sex, sometimes I ejaculate prematurely. With. What can I do to control myself from doing that?

Aim for her face.

It's Rob from McAlester, Oklahoma. So we. This is a very premature ejaculation. Huge, huge, huge for men. Erectile dysfunction, whatever you want to call it. I hate calling it dysfunction because it makes you feel like something's wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you, but we can work on it. And this is how you work on it. First of all, Kegel exercises. I've already mentioned that I have an app called Kegel Camp. But besides that, they strengthen your PC muscles, known as the P. Stopping muscles. So when you stop and start the flow of urine, those are those muscles. And if you do that five minutes a day, you could do it. You're sitting at traffic light, you could do it right now where you're listening, sitting at work, wherever the hell you are, driving at home, watching tv, five minutes a day. They build up your stamina when you have intercourse. And you take a few minutes a day and the stimulation will help you last longer and bad. Now, most men have a position that they most often ejaculate in. So you gotta notice this position. If you usually ejaculate well. For example, doggy style, which is common. Save that position for later. Make sure that she gets off. Make sure you go down on her or you use a toy or you do something so she has her orgasm. And then you're not in such an uncomfortable position. Because if it happens, like all the time, it does become a problem. It does, but once in a while, not a big deal. So if you're listening to this and it happened to you last night. Not a big deal. But if it happens all the time, you've got to start doing these exercises. And that's what they recommend. Kaggle. They recommend. Recommend the stop and start method where you masturbate. Oh, it's masturbation month. What a great time to work on your ejaculation issues. You do this stop and start method where you, you masturbate into the point where you're about to orgasm and then you stop so you can start. Learn to recognize that point when you're having sex that you get to and then you can stop it. There's so many way things you can do.

So don't have sex the same way you masturbate. Quick thrusts and a finish won't help the situation and won't be pleasanting for her. So don't do the quick thrust tests that you're doing. Don't be a jackrabbit.

Yeah, I mean, jackrabbit, you're just, you're just ready to explode.

Exactly. But, but this is like one of our most common questions. So yeah, we got to get into it.

And males tweet, email, or Facebook. I mean, you probably wouldn't want to put it on Facebook, but you know, what position do you think gets you off the most? I think just missionary. That's the problem. I have stuff.

What? That's so right.

Yeah. If I get on top, then it's over.

You know, if you get on top, you, you orgasm more quickly.

Yeah, but any other position. I'm good.

Huh. Really? Okay.

Yeah.

So you usually don't start in that position.

Yeah, end it in that.

End it. You'll roll after. After four minutes. You roll over after four minutes. I'm like, damn, damn. Four minutes.

All right, let me just get on top so I can.

This, that's good. Minutes.

Then I'll give her a high five and then you go to sleep and then I'm good.

Then you order pizza and watch Jersey Shore. Okay. Hi, Emily. I'm a 30 year old divorced mom and I've been dating a guy for almost three months and things have been going pretty good. He recently called because he wanted to see me and in the same breath asked if I had $20 for gas.

This was a bright red flag for me and has made me take a step back. When did men start asking women for money? Especially if he's only been dating her for two to three months. Am I overthinking this? Michelle from BAL Baltimore, Maryland.

Well, first Off. You're in Baltimore, Michelle.

You're not overthinking it. I think that it's strange for a guy that you're dating for only two to three months now if you live together.

You were married.

Like, hey, babe, I don't got my. I can't get my ATM. I'm getting my check tomorrow. Can you give me 20 bucks? Two to three months? Can I borrow 20 bucks for gas? It's just not hot, not attractive, not cool. Like, ask your buddies. Why is he going to you? Doesn't he. Can he go to someone else besides you? I just. To me, personally, I would be. I would be taken aback by that. She's 30, she's divorced, she's a mom. This guy wants 20 bucks. What is her son. Sounds like her son. Damn. Mommy, can I have 20 bucks for gas?

Yeah.

What do you think?

No, no, no. You got to be at least dating hardcore for a year before you start.

Borrowing money for gas. But even then, it's like, well, I've never borrowed money from a guy I've dated.

You have different.

I just haven't paid for everything. What?

You have different ideas.

You do the same thing.

I like when guys I date.

Do you know what's funny?

What is funny?

People can go back and listen to the podcast.

Yep. We've got 433 of them.

And yeah, if you could go back to. I was watching television yesterday, local television show. There's a talk show. I forget the name of it. Two guys are on there, and I can prove that these guys either somehow listened to this show or listened to me on another radio show. Because remember I said you can't show up to a date with a Groupon.

I started that. I'm the one who brought that in months ago, years ago. And then you tweeted it the next day. But whatever.

What? But either way, doesn't matter.

But you can't go on a day with a Groupon. Right?

Either way, these guys verbatim said the same thing.

But I think, okay, they probably stole it from the show.

You can't go. You can't go on a first date with a Groupon.

No, I said cannot bring a coupon or a Groupon on a first date. Yeah, I said that a Groupon is an online coupon.

We on the show online and then on another radio show. And it was just on the t. It was on TV the other day. Yeah, on a local television.

Yeah, well, because you stole it from me.

Did I?

Yes, I brought it in once. Show the proof you want to go back105.50 episodes?

Type in your Gmail. I'm sure it's there if you said it.

I did say it, Mendez. I brought it in as, like, a story one day. But that's cool. You always steal my stuff.

Oh, I always steal your stuff?

Sometimes you do, and I think it's cute. And I never call you out on it.

What? What I steal. Bring it up.

Lots of stuff. Like the Hermes bag. You didn't know what Hermes bags were.

And, yes, they did. That's what I brought you.

Dude, we're not gonna get any, okay? There's no way in hell you're gonna. And then there was something else I said to you once, and you went.

In and I. Dude, I swear to God, I would cop to it.

No, there was something else recently that I said during the show, and then you tweeted it, and I'm like, that's cool. I can't remember what it was. I'll go back and find it. I'll go back and find it, but not right now.

I swear to God, I'll own up to anything, but this will.

I will bring it to my.

I've been hearing about Armes from some other chick for a long time. For, like, whatever, forever.

But that was not the big. That was not the most important one. And I could never. Since you tweet every five seconds, I'll never find it. But it was something that. It was like. It was something. Ugh. If I just had a moment here. But I can't have to take a moment because we're busy. But it'll come to me.

What? What is it?

I'll cop to was. No, it was not even that. You'd have to cop to it. Cause it's so well documented that it was something that I said. All right? But I can't remember what it is right now. Damn it, people, I'm sorry. It'll come to me when I'm doing other stuff, like talking about masturbation, okay? Which we're gonna get into here now. We talked about what you.

Emily has the worst memory. Everybody, just the worst.

Would you remember from, like, a month ago, two months ago, that you said that was.

I remember a lot of things I did.

You must remember. You stole it directly from me. I was shocked.

I stole it directly from you.

It was a quote that I said that was obviously funny and good. And then you used it.

I'll find it. I'll tweet. I'll retweet the tweet.

Because we're not looking for comedy.

No, but honey, I never wanted like, be like, oh, I said that I taught you that. I was going to, but I didn't.

Okay, maybe there was not enough room in the tweet that I can give you credit because I probably would give you credit.

No, I think you just usurp all my information. You forgot that I say it.

Really?

I've taught you everything you know, Menace.

Oh, really?

Really. Wow.

The truth is coming out now.

The truth comes out.

Damn.

Okay, so mutual masturbation, okay, Woody Allen said I was the best I ever had, as we said at the beginning of the show. And he says masturbation is sex with someone you love. That's another famous Woody Allen quote. And it's true. Masturbation. Masturbation month. One of my favorite things is mutual masturbation. I'm a huge flippin fan of mutual masturbation and I want to tell you why, because first of all, it's a great way for you and your partner to show each other what you like, right? You're sitting there, you're masturbating. Either you can mutually masturbate each other. Like I could be masturbating you and you're masturbating me. Or we could both lay back, masturbate and watch each other and see like what, how, oh, he moves his hand like that or she moves her fingers like that. And you know what spots I need to touch to get off. And so it can be combined effort and it can, it helps to give and receive visual and vocal stimulation. There are no rules except no penetration. So play and be played. So decide that you're going to not have sex and you're just going to mutually masturbate so you can learn more about your partner.

So here's the deal.

Sometimes some places that you can try mutual masturbation, some good ways to start is when you're looking at porn together. I think watching porn can be very fun for couples while telling or reading dirty stories when one partner is more aroused or more in the mood than the other. So maybe we're, you know, your partner wants sex and you don't and you're just like, let's just masturbate or I'll just watch you and I'll do my own thing. I, I'll whip out my toy or whatever. When you're not ready to go all the way. So you're not ready yet. Like you're not ready to have sex yet and you can mutually masturbate. Or when you absolutely Just need to get off. So. Okay. Have you ever done this with someone? Mutual masturbation?

No.

Never?

No. They have sex.

You what? You never just mutually masturbate?

No. What's.

You can start.

I mean, you like it, you support it. I'm not gonna knock it too much.

I just think it's a great teaching tool for couples to learn what each other likes. You can start by massag each other's bodies and work your way up to masturbating together.

I figured out what they like with my penis.

It's like a pointing tool. Oh, point it here. Oh, you like that?

Cause mean, like during intercourse.

Yeah, but sometimes a lot of women. Honestly, I really never even thought of the masturbation thing. It was like, oh, we should both masturbate.

Right.

That's why I'm bringing it up. It's a great tool. So whether you take care of business while he watches or the two of you take turns masturbating one another, you can have pleasure just watching each other reach sexual fulfillment. And you can introduce toys to assist you in reaching orgasm. So this is a great time for a man to try out, like a masturbation sleeve or something like that. So there are the. There's the Fleshlight, which is great. You've seen the flashlight.

Yeah.

And there is the Tenga masturbation sleeve. Why are you all laughing?

I'm just listening to all the ones you're listening.

Keep on talking.

We're on the radio.

We're on the radio. Jesus Christ. You can have your partner use a vibrator or a G spot toy if you're a woman.

So the Fleshlight is one of the most popular masturbation sleeves. You can have your partner stroke. So you. Okay. If you're afraid of sex toys as a male, they do make these masturbation sleeves that a woman could do it for you. If you're like, I'm not using toys. And it feels really good. It has the nubby things on the inside. And you can. It's just a way to make. Use lots of lube. And you go up and down. And you can use coupon code Emily. And so for women, you can use a vibrator or G spot toy. It's a great way. A lot of women can't achieve orgasm through intercourse. They just can't. So they need, like, a toy and whatever. It's also, like I said, it's educational. You can learn, like, the strokes. Like, I can learn how fast you go when you're about to have an orgasm. I Learn. Like, where are you, like, thinking about a man, Me looking at a man's penis? I can learn how you move your hands, you move up and down. Do you rub the shaft? Do you grab the tip? Like, you know how every guy does differently?

Yeah.

Did you know that?

Yeah, they do.

And every woman does it differently.

Yeah, that's. That's why I know every man does it differently, because every woman is not the same.

But don't you think it's hot to watch a woman masturbate? Don't you think that'd be hot?

No, because I want to have sex with them.

So boring. You're such a one trick pony.

No, it's just, you just believe that. Oh, everything that a woman does is hot. And a guy finds it hot.

No, a lot of guys find it super hot to watch a woman masturbate.

Yeah. And a lot of guys say, huh? Yeah, go ahead and do that.

Great.

Just knowing that they're gonna get laid later, so they just let them do whatever the hell they want to do.

Okay. You speak for one man?

Yes, I guess so.

One of the best things about mutual masturbation is the opportunity to get the hands on lesson on how to get your lover off. Verbal feedback combined with a hands on demonstration will intensify your sexual bond and enhance your communication.

And it can be kinky too. You can say like, we can't have sex. You can tease them where you both touch each other. Touch yourselves and don't touch each other. Tie your partner up and tease them like you just masturbate them. So it's just a fun for the whole family.

It's very fun. You like the tying of the up?

What? I do like.

You like tying of the up?

I do like the tying of the up. And I just got some new bondage tape which I'm got a brand new bondage tape. It's so cool. It looks like electrical tape, but you can use it, reuse it. It sticks to itself. I don't even know how to explain. It's like electrical tape. It doesn't like rip your eyelashes off if you go put it over your.

When are they gonna do that with caution tape? See you should.

I want to make my own bondage tape that says sex with Emily all over it.

Yeah, it'll be yellow.

Oh, with caution tape, like you died. Like there was a death or something.

No, just caution tape.

Oh, that's different.

That would be really cool.

What's the tape that you use when someone dies?

The yellow tape and caution tape.

That's What I'm saying? That's what I said. Jesus. Okay, we've got some other stuff. So that's. You're not into mutual masturbation. I'm moving on to something else.

Not into it.

I just think it's. You need to try. This is a suggestion.

Tell me about your first experience with mutual masturbation.

I will tell you. My first experience with mutual masturbation was. I've had a lot of them. I mean, it's not like my first. It's like.

But I want to hear about your very first one.

I don't even remember my first one. But let me think about it. One time that sticks out is that we were. I was using. A lot of men find it super hot when a woman uses a sex toy on her. Not a big penis looking sex toy, but something little like a pocket rocket.

Yeah.

Or the Ju Mimi, which is my obsession, which I lost. I lost my favorite vibrator. I can't find it freaking anymore.

How do you lose it?

I don't know. I'm freaking out. And the whole entire frigging crew's coming to my house tomorrow and I can't find this toy anywhere.

I found it and hid it.

Do you think that my dog ate my vibrator?

I don't think the dog ate it, but probably hit it somewhere. Have you found any vibrators or sex toys that have chew like teeth marks on it?

No, but sometimes my dog watches me masturbate. That's kind of weird. But then she just kind of settles down. She knows what's going on. So first mutual masturbation is. I would say it was just. I was using a toy and he thought it was super hot. And then he started masturbating and then we just, like, watched each other. I don't have a great story. I'm sorry.

Have you ever done mutual masturbation and not had sex with that person ever? Ever?

Yeah, I'm sure I have. Yes. Yes. Mutual masturbation is like, I don't want to have sex with you guys.

You don't have to yell at it because there's people in the other room.

It's like we're in a padded cell.

I know. I'm just embarrassed.

You're embarrassed?

No, I'm just kidding. Go ahead.

But no, like, I watched him get off that. I really remember the first time watching that I did mutual masturbation with a guy that I realized how, like, it helped. It informed me because I was like, oh, that's how he likes me to Touch. So when I was performing oral sex on him, I knew what he did with his hand to get himself off. I knew all the things that made him feel good because he did it with his hand. And so I gave him recreate it. I recreated the scenario with my mouth. I'm like a magician or something.

You should get a Nobel Peace Prize for that.

I should, shouldn't I? So I know you've known mutual masturbation stories. Stories there. So we're getting into another topic here.

And the topic is subtle ways to.

Get her in the mood, okay. Because this is another big one that comes up that she. Now I also think I'm gonna preface this by saying I think it's a myth that it's only women who don't wanna have sex. Like there's such the myth of the. Not tonight, honey, I have a headache and I don't wanna have sex. But there's many men. I hear from women all the time. Like my partner doesn't. My male partner doesn't want to have sex. But these are ways to get her in the mood. If she's not there already, you buy.

Her a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. Done deal.

You're getting laid, dude. I'm serious. That would work for me.

You would get laid. No doubt about it. Fellas, Christian Louboutins, they're $800 shoes.

And some dude that I met in Vegas, I gave him my friggin name and address because he said he was gonna buy me a pair of. He probably just is gonna come stalk me.

Yeah, great.

He hasn't sent them to me yet. The most powerful sex organ that we talk about all the time. Menace. What is that? What's the most powerful sex organ? I'm gonna start quizzing menace on things that I say.

Powerful sex organ.

The heart, the brain.

I know it's the brain, but I was trying to say heart.

So that is where women and men start thinking about sex. Because thoughts follow feelings, actions follows thoughts, you start thinking about sex. So you've got to get them in the mood with their brain. So pay attention to the woman in your life. Figure out the things that she's likely to need or appreciate if you want to get some.

Hmm.

Okay. The first thing is pick up on her cues when she's not dropping hints. This may lead to more than just a thank you. If the girl you're interested in talks about a book that she loves or mentions something wonderful she ate, make a mental note, just like you do this menace. And follow up Next time you're surfing the net, order her favorite author's new novel or something vintage she may have missed. When you're out and about, grab the beer. She raved about. So this is more about just like relationship stuff too. Like, I love when a guy remembers something that I told him months ago and then he does something about it. And I try to do the same for my guys, but I'm not as good at it because I'm busy.

I try to drop mental notes on chicks all the time. Doesn't work. Works for me, though. I mean, when I make the mental notes because I'm really good at that.

I know. Like that girl. You took her to, like the Rihanna concert or something.

Yeah, and we met Rihanna backstage.

Right? That was cool. So these are the things that are gonna get women going. You can't. It's not about the way you touch her nipple in the first five seconds that you wanna have sex. It's like getting her there. Getting her there. So, like, you wanna remember things. You just wanna be a good man, good boyfriend. Remember things that she wants and act on em, and it means she's not dropping kids. And his women just say, oh, I love that author. And then you remember that.

Where am I going in 10 days?

Vegas.

Ah.

Are you trying to.

You do love me? I'm test. I'm testing you.

And then you're going again the week after, weekend after.

And then where am I going after that?

Chicago? Nope.

Nowhere.

San Diego?

Why the hell would I do that?

Because I've said it a couple times. But it's okay.

San Diego's boring. Okay. Just kidding. It's beautiful. It's just kind of.

I honestly don't want to go. I'm supposed to be going there for a bachelor party. I love San Diego. Oh, I love, love, love.

I love it too. It's just kind of boring. It's kind of like sunny and like whatever I feel.

It's kind of like a mix of Hawaii and San Francisco, to be honest.

Okay.

Downtown area if you're. If you're walking around.

Right.

But to go there for a bachelor party. I don't know.

Yeah. You don't seem like the bachelor party type. Like, you're not gonna be like, oh, no, definitely. Are they like the stripper guys that are gonna go see strippers and stuff?

Yeah. Gonna go see. I just don't. You know what? I don't want to spend money on some chick that's not gonna give me fellatio.

I know.

I understand why I want fellatio from a stripper that's willing to give fellatio inside a club. Because then she's probably done that. That for.

You're probably like her fifth customer. She just came back from brushing her teeth and wiping the jizz off her face from the last guy.

Yeah, I know. So I don't want to do that. Actually, it's a funny story. When I was an intern a long, long time ago, I went with one of the radio DJs and he's like, yeah. He goes, I'm going to take you to strip club. And so we go to Market Street. If anybody knows Market street strip clubs in San Francisco were like the seediest strip clubs ever. So we go in there and so we, we go in there and they know who he is and they introduce me. They're like, oh yeah, this guy, he's a big time radio dj. I've never been on radio before in my life. He's always one of the biggest radio DJs out there. And they go, okay, yeah. Then they took me vip, VIP and put me in this like VIP room with this chick. And this chick, like pulls out a condom. She's like, oh. She's like, do you have a Benjamin? Like a hundred bucks? Then I could have sex with her. I was like, no, I'm just an intern. And she's like. She immediately gets up and opens the door and she goes, he's just an intern. And then leaves.

That's amazing. Was she hot at all or.

Yeah, she was attractive, but a girl that's willing to have sex with you for 100 bucks at a seedy strip club, don't do it.

Don't do it. But a lot of guys get off on that.

No matter how much you want to get laid, don't do it.

I know so many guys who've gotten hand jobs, blowjobs at strip clubs. Just don't. It's kind of don't tell me, but don't tell your girlfriend about it.

Don't do it.

If you do it, just don't tell anyone. Okay. The next ways to get her in the mood. This is just.

I fell over at it. I have a lot of strip club stories, actually. I fell over a table when I was drunk and I got kicked out of a strip club.

You get kicked out of everywhere. Not surprised.

Yeah, And I.

My friend barfed on a stripper once and he got so drunk that he barfed on the stripper stage where she was dancing. And then he barfed on her again. He was. Drank too Much. He's now the in. Doesn't drink anymore.

I actually went to a strip club once with some, like, really high rollers. And they're like, yeah, man, we'll just take care of you. And it was a strip club where you can drink. So I'm drinking, and they're like, oh, yeah, take him up to the vip. And it's like this glass elevator that takes me up to this, like, special VIP floor. And I go there, and I'm not even keeping track of time. I'm just, like, wasted talking to the stripper. And.

And then finally, like, my friends would call me back down. I go back down. They're like. They go, that just cost $600.

Just talk to her.

Yeah. I don't even remember how long I was up there.

Wow. You should have just done something. No, I'm kidding. You shouldn't have. Okay. The next thing. Subtle ways to get her in the mood. Groom yourself. How about that? This is just a personal thing. Some women are into grooming, some aren't. But trimming hairs from your back, nose, and manly zones is fine, but you don't need to go crazy. Keep your toenails neatly trimmed at all times. For example, pay attention to your hygiene. Hygiene is the number one thing that people complain about men.

About men and women is the biggest thing, is like, she doesn't shave. He doesn't shave. She's not clean, he's not clean. Whatever.

Check this out.

Check this out.

This is a question I've never asked you before.

How do you tell a woman, because there's a lot of women out there that. That do not know this, that they kind of have a hairy lower back.

You don't. You don't, you don't. Does it. Does it gross you out?

I don't think it's hot.

So how hairy? Like peach fuzz.

Or I say peach fuzz, but sometimes a peach fuzz is a little darker.

Oh, my God. Now I'm gonna go home. I'm right in the bathroom and look.

At my bath, and they have no idea, because how are you able to. To even look at your lower back, right? And you know, your girlfriends aren't telling you because they. They love hating on you.

I think this is a message to all the women listening right now. Check out your back.

Just check out lower mirror. Or, you know, talk to somebody that you trust.

Women are allowed to tell their boyfriends to get their backs waxed or whatever. I guess men could sit, tell the woman, too, and be like, you know, baby, you got Some hair right there. You might want to get rid of it. So is it like a buzz kill? Like, are you, like. Oh, is it like a deflator?

Not. It's not a bone killer at all, but it's just, you know, I mean, if you're. If you're waxing everything else, you might.

As well just get the little back hair back here.

But they don't know that.

Have you ever seen hair on women's nipples?

Nipples? Not hardcore, but I've heard horror stories.

Yeah, there's some. There's a lot of women who get nipple hairs. And you have to like that.

You can see.

Yeah, but some people don't pay.

They don't want to take it, but they don't care.

Some women don't care.

Or the women. You are pigs if you do not take care of this. The ones that have the happy trail all the way to the belly button.

Yeah, that's common.

Come on.

That's common.

Come on.

What?

Take care of it, ladies.

I know.

I don't care how fast it grows back. Shave it up or wax it.

Yeah, there's a lot of women that have dark stomach hair. Yeah, I don't have that. Thank God. Not about me.

The trail all the way from the vagina to the belly button. Come on.

How dark is it? Dark.

Sometimes they're dark.

You know, you can bleach it, shave it, laser it. Yeah.

Get it off something.

Okay. Do something to de stress your lover's life without being asked. These are ways to get her in the mood. Fix or replace something that's broken. If she's having a tough week at work. Cook dinner or pick up some takeout. Anything that lightens her load will free up her time and show that you care. Also, make sure you clean up your cleanup after yourself. Don't make her feel like she is your maid. Dirty dishes and laundry are not aphrodisiacs. Did you just laugh at the word load? What are you.

No, I would never do that.

And then high five, Steve. Is that what you did? Oh, my God, you're funny. So just do something. You know, my guy that I'm dating, he fixed my frigging lamp that I thought I was gonna have to take into place. He's like, oh, I just know that switch that you need from Lowe's, and you went and picked it up the other night, and he fixed my frigging lamp. And What? He's like, MacGyver? He's MacGyver. He fixes everything. Like, he knows how to do every Single thing that's ever broken in my life and I can't tell you how hot it is.

Maybe he can fix your situation with a commitment.

He's working on it. I think he's working on it. All right. Okay. So then finally, these are ways to get her in the mood. While men tend to be aroused by visual cues, right. You see her nipple slip, you get turned on. Women are more immediately turned on by what they smell. Aromas that evoke a sense of calm and well being for women are good. On the other hand, even so called good smells, perfumes, certain foods or flowers could spell death to her desires. Each woman is a personal filing cabinet of smells induced positive or negative reactions. So get to know what smell your ladies like and what turns her off. And scent and avoid scents. That triggers her, that triggers her accordingly. So like find out what kind of perfume she wears or if she likes vanilla. Vanilla is very popular just to be an aphrodisiac.

So smell is big and it also turns around. And there's another thing that I want to say is that, do you. Well first of all, scent is a big thing. Do you think that women like. If you're with a woman, like you can't stand her scent. Scent.

Her smell.

Her scent. Her smell.

Breath. Yeah, right. Like smokers sometimes. Smokers, man, you make out with a smoker, it's dehydrating.

I know.

Need a glass of water?

Yes. Don't smoke.

And there's like, you know, a certain smell that goes along with it.

Okay, but there's a final thing that I have to say about this one. About getting her in the mood is.

Or a vagina could smell like fish. But you know.

Oh God.

Happens.

It does happen, huh?

Yeah.

Hot rocks. This is what I want to talk to you about. Hot rocks are a man is disgusting. Hot rocks. R A W K S. So there's tons of libido enhancers on the market now because we're talking about what gets her on, what gets her off. Whatever this is for men and women, it's HotRocks r a w k s dot com. It's a certified organic aphrodisiac for men and women. For when? I've been taking it for like seven weeks and I'm like hornier than ever. Women gives you more energy, stronger orgasms, natural self generating lubrication gives men more stamina, harder erections, more intense orgasms. And the best part about hot rocks is a 30 day money back guarantee. 30 day. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. If you don't, if you don't get turned on, it doesn't help your. Your libido and your inhale. Yeah, it doesn't act like an Aphrodite. Then you can freaking return it. What do I.

Sounds good.

Okay, that sounds good. So we are good here, huh? It's Friday night. We're almost ready to wrap up this show. Is there anything final that you'd like to say to me?

Menace, I said don't drink and drive. That stuff will kill you. Take a lot of shots at Patron.

Take some shots of Patron, use protection. And talk to your partner about something this weekend that you've been dying to talk about that you haven't been able to bring up. I'd like everyone to initiate one new conversation. What is that? Good one.

Yeah, that's good.

One thing. One thing. Not the whole thing, but everything. So thanks for listening to sex with Emily. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com and don't forget, check out my book, hot sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight.

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