SWE: Understanding Females

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's got to have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sex with emily.com, which is the place to go for all your sex information. So hopefully you'll go there right now and check it out. And many of you are watching this live, which we so appreciate. It's Monday through Friday 1 to 2. Except for Wednesdays. It is Free Friday right now. I love free Fridays. We all get to watch the show no matter who you are, where you are, where you're living. Free Fridays. It's awesome, right? Menace?

Yep. Sex with emily.com Sex with emily.com Monday through Friday.

Right?

Right, right.

Except for Wednesdays. Right.

1Pm Pacific Standard Time.

Thanks.

It's always good.

Yeah.

What's going on?

Awesome. A lot going on. It's a big weekend. Big Labor Day weekend.

I know you decided on the cabin.

Going to my friend's cabin at a lake. On a lake up near your. Kind of like two hours from Yosemite. I always forget exactly where it is, but it's like in the middle of somewhere. It's like three hours from here.

How many people are going to be at this cabin?

Six.

Six people?

Yeah. It's going to be a couple and me and two friends. Two guy friends.

Oh, two guy friends.

Yeah. And it's going to be. Let's see how many of the guy.

Friends have had sex with 1. 1. So will you have sex with that?

No. He's my ex boyfriend and we dated years ago and we haven't had sex in years and years and years. He's like my best friend. He took my dog. He has my dog right now.

I know.

He's had my dog for five days.

Yeah. You should have sex with him then. For.

For watching my dog. I'm not interested in having sex with him anymore, so.

Actually.

So there's a couple and it's. I know it sounds weird, but it's just you. We go through this every year when I go to the cabin. There is not a lot of sex that goes on.

What about the weirdo that you're dating? Like, isn't he like some art guy or something?

What weirdo?

Where's he at?

Oh, he's going away with some friends.

Oh, okay.

We're not spending the weekend together. Okay. We don't do that.

That's odd.

Yeah. What did you say? That's hot.

I said that's odd.

Why?

Because if we're hanging out with each other, you would spend the weekend.

Yeah, but I've already plans and he's already had plans and it's cool.

Cool. Whatevs.

Whatevs. I'm not. I'm not like. Yeah, I think it's better this way. I like being with my peeps. Cause I need. I haven't had a frigging vacation in, in, in, in. In years. Literally so long. Every time I take a vacation, I go see my family, which is not a vacation, by the way. And so I'm just gonna get out of town for a few days and chill. What are you gonna do? You're gonna go to music concerts and stuff like that?

Yeah, going to see Lil Wayne tonight and then tomorrow I'm going to electronic festival, your favorite.

Yeah, sorry, I'm still.

The rest of the weekend. Probably just hang out in the good old San Francisco.

Love it.

Yeah.

Okay, well, today's show, I want to be a very special guest. I'm so excited. Okay. As you know, I've been talking all week about my orgasmic med.

Nicole De Don, who's the founder of One Taste, was on the show a few months ago. And then I went on my retreat last weekend, which we've talked about, where I got my clitoris stroke by strangers. However, one of the strangers is no longer a stranger. We are friends, I think, for life. He's here, John. He's going to be talking about the whole experience and what he does there and his whole practice. So I'm excited about that. And then we've also got some emails we'll be reading. Some topics include being dominated in the bedroom, undressing women, and erection issues. Erection issues are coming up a lot lately.

Why?

I don't know.

I thought we have pills for that.

We do have pills for that.

People don't want to take them.

I don't know. They take them. No, people don't necessarily want a pill. They want other fixes, which. There are other fixes which we talk about all the time. We. You can call us now if you have any questions. To 415-992-7392. And we've got a poll results to our latest poll website.

I really wanted to see the results for this poll because I thought it was interesting.

Which one? Which one? Which one of these constitutes cheating?

Yeah.

Okay, ready?

Okay. 1% said watching porn.

Okay.

3% said thinking sexually about someone else.

Wow. 7% said receiving a lap dance.

Confiding on intimate level. 25%. And a whopping 64 said sexting someone else.

I said it was Sheen too.

But that's the one that people think the most is cheating, is sexting. Yeah, I do that all the time. I know. See, I'm not cheating. I'm just having fun.

You're not with anybody. You're not with anybody.

It's a great way to. Yeah, so 64%. That's like a major gap there. That's amazing. Okay, so. Yeah, but I agree that and all this other stuff and whatever, cheating is different for everyone. Okay. Our latest. Our new poll. Is up. Why don't you want to have sex with your partner? Here are the reasons. Why don't you want to have sex with your partner? Okay. One, you're angry about something. Like, think about the times in your life when you haven't wanted to have sex. Like, what? Why is it usually. Okay, you're angry about something. You're overwhelmed with work. Sex has become boring. You're no longer attracted to your partner. You want someone else. When have you stopped having sex with your partner? And being too drunk and passed out is the answer?

I'll pick the last one.

You want someone else.

I want somebody else.

So you're over her?

Yeah.

Really? So you're just like, one day. Shut it off. Does that ever happen to you?

Yeah.

Like, I was talking about this last night that I was dating this guy, and all of a sudden, by mistake, one of these relationships I was in this year that I, by mistake, like, committed to him because he asked me to, and I did, and it was a mistake for two months. And then all of a sudden, one night, I was just completely grossed out by him. Like, you walked out of the bedroom. I was like, there's no way we're sleeping together ever again and I'm done. Does that ever happen to you? Just shuts off. It wasn't because there was anyone else. I just was completely unattracted to him.

Yeah.

By the things he'd been saying. Yeah.

It wasn't anti sexual.

It wasn't sexual. But he had said some things that were so offensive and so often so wrong and so not me. That I was like, oh, we're done, Don. And Don left the next morning. Yeah, I did sleep over. I was like, it's kind of a little too late to leave right now, but. Because I was tired.

Yeah.

But so I ended that relationship. Yeah. So last night I went to this big event. It's for the UCSF. So salesforce.com foundation is a big. Salesforce.com is a huge company based in San Francisco, and there's a foundation that they run and they're building this hospital. And so they had this huge fundraiser, and Alanis Morissette was there and Jay Leno, who I got to meet both of them. It was really fun. But there was four guys there that I've dated, and I was with the other guy that I've started dating, and that was. And he knew. And it was kind of weird. It's kind of weird to be in a room or.

Did you tell him?

Well, one of the guys is kind of a known guy in the world that he knows that I dated. And. And then.

I didn't tell them all of them, but it was just kind of weird that they were all there because it doesn't happen that often where you walk into a room, you're like, I've been dated four of you. I don't know. It was lots of people there. Thousands of people there. Literally thousands. And then Will, I am played. And sweet MC Hammer. And it was a big night. What?

Boo on the MC Hammer. People love him. But I just.

What is he done, though, lately? Really, he's.

No, he's really a part of a lot of Internet community stuff right now, and a lot of people in Internet community like him. But I.

There's some personal stories that I know. So I. I dislike him.

Oh, okay.

So he can suck it.

Got it. But anyway, suck it, suck it, suck it. MC Hammer. I like him. I've met him. I always see him around at parties and stuff.

Yeah, he's always out and about.

So, yeah, that was my night. And then it was super fun. Yeah, Jay Leno, he was. He was funny. He got up and did whole thing. But I don't love him. He's not my favorite.

It's all about Letterman.

I know. I had to interview. I was supposed to interview him for this thing, but I didn't. But I was gonna be like, what? Yeah. What did you tell me to say to him?

I said, how David Letterman is so much funnier than you.

Yeah, I wasn't gonna say that to him. That would have been offensive. So that was my night. And then. Yeah, I'm excited for the weekend. And I want everyone to know that we are still having our Facebook event happening. If you want three free months of sex with Emily, you just have to like the Sex with Emily fan page. And we're picking someone every single day as a winner to win three months of sex with Emily. And if you'll become a friends with benefits member. And there are so many benefits to it. You say you. I get all your emails, and your emails go right to the top. We give you all the sex information you need. You can also get Free Fire TV f y TV, which is like porn for 30 minutes. And it's awesome. It's a Netflix of porn. Any kind of porn you want, you can get. And check that out. So if you're a friend spend member, you get that. Sweet.

One more thing. We're at the Stitcher studios here in San Francisco, and Stitcher is an app that you can download for free. For your smartphone, iPhone, you know, Droid, iPad, tablets, whatever the hell you can get an app on. And you just search Sex with Emily. It'll pop right up. If you're friends with Benefit, benefits member, you'll get the entire show. All you need to do is pass and put in your password once. If you don't have a password, go to Sex with Emily dot com.

Thanks.

That's it.

That's good. Menace, what's wrong? You seem sort of down. You seem sort of low energy today.

I'm not. I'm fine.

Are you?

Yeah.

Sure?

Yeah, I'm totally fine. I ate. I'm good.

Okay.

I was just getting that out of the way.

I was trying to remember that it was your overall aura.

No, I'm good.

Okay.

I'm ready to go.

Awesome.

Oh, my God. Now you're gonna be throwing off. No, you're okay.

I'm totally fine.

I'm totally fine. I'm ready to go.

Okay.

I'm ready to do the show. Hell, yeah. We should get into some emails.

Okay. We're gonna skip sex in the news today because we've got a special guest.

Sex in the news sucked today, by the way, because I checked the news.

There wasn't a lot of sex in the news. It's hard to find sex in the news every day.

One story.

Go.

One story is. The best story that I heard was the Kris Humphries, who's Kim Kardashian's new husband, randomly was getting on a flight in first class, and guess who is sitting in first class right next to him? Ray J. The guy that did the sex tape with her.

No way.

But Chris Humphries didn't know who he was, right? He just sat down.

Holy moly.

And then. So Ray J went up to him and said, come on, dude, you know who I am. He goes, I just want to congratulate you.

And he didn't know.

And then he kind of just, like, blew him off.

Right?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. That's a good story. That's a good. Is that like, all over the.

All over the.

Okay, let me. I have something. I have a new story. It's a personal news story. You're gonna be. You're not gonna believe this.

What?

Yesterday I ordered. I didn't do it. My intern did it because I couldn't pull the trigger myself. Cable.

Shut the hell up.

We got the tv. Menace made me get a TV like, six months ago, which I have not turned on yet. And I haven't had cable ever, like, since College, Whatever. So I got everything, Every channel.

What?

Hbo. The whole thing starting in two days. Because for I have to start watching more television.

You got to know what's going on.

I don't know how. Where to even start. And I got the dvr, the whole thing. So it's happening. It's being installed on Tuesday. What?

We got to set up your DVR too?

Because you wouldn't show me how to do that.

You wouldn't know how to.

Dude, I can't even turn the TV on.

Yeah, true. Now you're gonna have another remote to handle.

I hate that. And yeah. Okay, so let's get in some emails.

Okay, what do you got?

So I got Emily. Enjoy your show and appreciate the way you educate and entertain at the same time. You were talking to one of the interns last week, and the topic turned to men with confidence, being sexy. And that women generally, generally like it when a man takes them. And why don't men do that more? Taking a woman is a high risk play for a guy, even when you're in a relationship. I'm sure there are some women who never object to being taken, but make that move at the wrong time and the risk is not worth the reward. It's all about timing. Women that like that and want more of that would, in my opinion, do well to make sure the partner knows the look that says the time is right. Or appreciate the thought. Need a rain check? Shutdowns in this situation can be brutal, and it may be a long time before the guy tries it again. One man's perspective. Keep the good work, Jeff. So what we were talking about. You were not here last Friday, but I interviewed one of my interns about her sex life in great detail, and she. We were both saying that it was super hot when a guy just, like, takes you, like, throws you against the wall. Not every time. Like, not abusively. Not. Whatever. I'm not saying that. But, like, just fucking, like, has to have you and takes you and, like, rips your clothes, like, right when you.

Get in the door.

Yeah, totally. And so he's saying, but if.

Can I call you a bitch? Yeah, okay, good.

If you do it.

And a whore.

Yeah, whatever.

In a classy way, though.

Respectful.

Yeah, totally. That's hot. I think, personally, whatever. Sometimes. Not every time. Like, anything. Everything's in moderation. Right. We don't want it to get boring. But it's like, guys don't do that because Jeff is saying he's afraid of getting shut down, so he needs more information from the woman. Like a look. Like, take me now. But we don't want to have to give you the look. We just want you to think to do it. Put in your calendar. I haven't taken her like that in three months.

Yeah. And then, you know, do a little.

Reminder on your calendar. Your Google calendar.

And also, you know what? If she backs away and she's not into that, then do you know what? You probably don't even want to get with that anyways.

Why some women aren't into it.

That.

Yeah. Then effort and go on to the next one.

Right.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that some women might not be into that, but a lot of women just want to feel like a guy has control and, like, really wants and desires us.

Okay. What should a guy do if he encounters the situation that she's not into it? How does he rebound from that?

It's tough, but you got to move slowly. You got to do it slow. Like, I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say that. You. You could ease into it the first time, just be like, I think you're so hot. Grab her, whatever, and see if she. If she's like, oh, that's too much. And she reacts. Like, I wouldn't just do it. Like, do the whole thing. But then. Then you just go back to whatever you're doing. But I think a lot of women like that.

I think so, too, but they just don't.

They.

Again, they don't give you the sign, and then that's what guys always wait for, the sign. Even when. Even figuring out if a girl likes you or not, the guys don't even, you know, take that extra step to even say, this is how I feel about you. Because they. They get no signs at all. And even if a girl feels.

Men can't read signs. Yeah.

Even if girl feels like they're giving you a sign. The guy. The guy doesn't.

Men are really bad at reading signs. It's actually like. It's actually. There was a study that came out a few years ago that said men actually are not as adept at reading the signs from women and from anyone. Like, they just don't. They miss it. Like you. That's why you wait for all the women. You wait for women to throw themselves at you because you're afraid of getting rejected by approaching a woman. You're afraid that you're gonna get rejected.

I'm not afraid of getting rejected.

You're not.

I just do not. I cannot read signs for shit.

Right.

Like, at all.

Okay.

And then you know, years later, somebody messaged me. Oh, you know I've always liked you. What? Like, I didn't see that at all.

Really? Yeah, I, I.

Okay.

I always assume. I don't know. I guess it's different. You're right. But men are just not that. So you gotta, like, if you're attracted to any of these women, though, like, did you ever hear it from a woman? Did a woman ever come to you and say, God, menace, I was totally wanted to get in your pants. And you're like, damn, why didn't I know that? Why didn't you make the move when you were attracted to her?

Because I didn't think that she felt the same way.

But so what? Why not just put yourself out there and take the risk?

Well, I know that now, but young. When I was younger, I was a pussy.

I didn't think.

You're doing it now, though. You're not even doing it now.

I kind of do it now, but now, Now I'm way more selective. I don't. Don't throw myself at it.

You never threw yourself, did you? I feel like you've always been safe. Okay. So anyway, the point of this is, like, I get it. Like, there's some women that. I'm not saying that every woman. Not that actually there's nothing that every single woman wants. We're all really, really different. We were just saying, well, 120. What?

They want money. That's what.

Yeah, right. All women want money.

So one common ground.

I actually think that money is. Is a lot. Someone has tons of money. It actually can hurt a relationship totally because it totally affects dude, you know? Really. There was actually a really interesting study the other day that I saw that said that men who make less money are actually more attractive partners to women because they're not douchebags. What, fixer uppers? No, they're not fixer uppers. They're just, like, more genuine and real. And they're like, guys have tons of money. They walk in a room, they're kind of cocky. They're like, I've got this going on. I don't really need to make effort with anybody because I'm so successful and I'm above everybody else. But, like, the dude who's not like super wealthy or whatever, but, like, fine, you know, he's just more, like, affable and gets along with everyone. There was like 10 points of why you should date a guy without money. It was very funny. I should bring that in.

Please write that down.

Dexter, will you write that down? I Won't remember. Yeah. Okay, let's move into this next email. Dear Emily, men don't undress women anymore because your clothes are a pain in the ass. Shirts are all different. If they're tight and won't come over your head, it easily gets awkward. Tight jeans are hard to pull off, and now some have two buttons that take small fingers to manipulate. It's like completing a Survivor challenge to get everything off, start wearing easier clothes, take the hard parts off and we'll do the rest. Otherwise it starts to get uncomfortable and we just want to watch TV or laugh. I hope all is well, Jason from Baltimore. This probably stemmed from a conversation where I was saying, why don't men undress you anymore? This is like the same fucking thing. I'm swearing a lot today. Sorry.

Because you guys.

What?

That's why I don't want some crazy ass lingerie. Because it's a pain in the ass to take off.

No, but the thing is, is that there's something about, like, slowly undressing a woman, not being like, can you just get naked now? Cause we're about to have sex. Can you do that? Like, I.

That's for you.

This guy dated for a long time. He's like, why do you still have clothes on? That's how we would have sex. He's like, why do you still have your clothes on? I'm like, why don't you take them off me? Like once. Once. It's hot. Don't you see that all the. Like, just slowly take off my clothes.

Isn't that hard?

You don't want to take off a bra. You're like a grown man. You've taken off a bra before.

Sometimes you guys, the. The way that things are put together, it's insane.

But at least make the effort. And you know how to unbutton a shirt. Yeah, I'm wearing a dress. It just slips off right now.

By the way, you're easy.

I am easy.

But we know that some women aren't.

I know. So.

When was the last time you were with a woman and you undressed her? Do you even remember? No. You're drunk. It's okay.

Okay.

Okay. What?

Nothing against. The last statement was true. Go ahead.

I know.

I thought you were gonna fight me on that.

No.

So you don't even remember how the clothes came off? You don't even remember the sex?

Somehow they imagine they magically come.

Right? Amazing. Or maybe they didn't. Maybe you just like.

Maybe they didn't. I don't know.

Right.

Whatever.

It's all it is great. Sounds hot. Dear Emily, first off, just want to say that my long term boyfriend and I are both recent listeners and we love your show. Our sex life has greatly improved from the distance discussions that stem directly from the topics discussed on your show. However, we want to continue to strive for improvement and want to do your proposed 30 day sex challenge. While I'm all for having sex for 30 days straight, there is a slight physical limitation. I've had a problem in the past where after having sex multiple times in a short time frame, things start to feel a bit sore and sensitive down there. After a certain point, lube just doesn't seem to have any effect. Are there any tips or tricks for me to do this challenge with my boyfriend without it being so painful? Thanks, Amy and Josh. Sure. So I talk about the 30 Day Sex Challenge where I think couples who are wanting to enhance their sex life are struggling to get their connection back is to make this commitment that we're gonna have sex every single day for 30 days no matter what. Like, no matter what happens. Like, kids are crying. Use your job like too much work to do whatever the hell you have sex. So, Amy, if you're experienced pain, I would say sex doesn't necessarily mean you have to have intercourse. You could do other things. You could give a sensual massage. You could be. You could stimulate him. You could whatever. Like you should use off. Fellatio is always a really popular something. He could even probably perform oral sex on you and it wouldn't hurt as much as the penetration. Like because it's on the outside unless you stick your fingers inside. But basically there's other things you can do. I would say that you are still a participant in the 30 sex challenge if you don't actually have intercourse, but if you hurt and you're suffering and you're in pain, stop for a few days.

There's always the but you have to.

Give the vagina rest, you know. But true. That's so true. Yeah. 30 day sex challenge. I've actually never even done the 30 day sex challenge myself, but I would like to because I haven't been with anyone for 30 days. That's not true. Of course I have. Of course I have before.

They can't last. The Emily Gauntlet.

So not true. I have.

Oh, and the dog couldn't last 30 days.

My dog lasted 60 days.

What?

I had the dog for 60 days before I.

Not entire, not a consistent 60 days. He took breaks. He took many vacations.

Really hard.

Being a single parent. Being a single parent is really hard. And I'm both really. And I'm super, super busy. Huh. Okay. So Emily. Dear Emily, My wife is somewhat open to watching porn with me. However, she's very conservative and finds traditional porn for men cheesy and she's not as interested interested as I am. Can you suggest a genre or perhaps some titles that may.

That are directed more towards a woman's interest? I'm having troubles finding more erotic area of porn.

From Tom. Okay, so I love Fire TV because they're our sponsors and we love them. FYREtv.com you can check out Fire TV. You can watch it anywhere on any of those places. IPad, iPhone, laptop, your television. You can get a set top box like I have with 20,000 titles of porn in my home, which I had before I had cable, which I don't have yet. But the point is you can sort. If you don't want to go to Fire TV anywhere, there's lots of websites, AdamandEve.com that you can go to where they have they. Most sites do split porn into like female friendly porn. Like there's a lot of porn that women that is made geared more towards women. And most of these sites that you go to will have that genre and break it down. Usually women want the plots, men just want the. What do you want?

We want the. The facials, right? Yes. But let me tell you, I don't have Fire tv. But after seeing your Fire tv, anybody that's used Netflix or they've used Hulu or you know, any network television website to watch a video online, like Fire TV is set up through the categories and everything has. It blows all those out of the water on how simple and you can find everything that you want to find in seconds.

It's right.

It's insane on how well it's put together. I wish they would advise like Hulu and Netflix. I can never find anything on those freaking websites.

I know, it's really cool. And it's also like you can. Yeah. So they have like women friendly erotica and just like search around online. I don't have any like that come to my mind right now. But yeah. You don't even really like porn though.

No, I'm not a big porn watcher.

Right. I am now sort of. I mean I, you know, didn't before, but now that I have 20,000 titles in my home, it's awesome. You can get their set top box, which is cool. Okay, let's move on to our guest.

All right.

Okay, John, come on here. We gotta get. We gotta get Close. Which we've already done before, so we can do that.

Hold on, let me see this mic is good. Go ahead.

Hi.

All right.

Okay, let me recap. Hi. Okay, Are we good on cameras? Are we. Everything's happy? Yeah.

Okay, we're good.

So I. There's an organization in San Francisco called One Taste, and I've heard about them for a long time. And Nicole De Don, the founder, was on the show. And it's all about the slow section movement, the already crafted the Female Orgasm. It's her book that she wrote. And, yeah, it's all about orgasmic meditation, which I didn't really know much about. And Nicole was on the show, and she was like, oh, my God. Because you know me, I'm kind of up for anything. Like, I have psych. It's research. Right. And so Nicole was like, you should come on one of our retreats. And I've always been, like, intrigued. And like, years ago, I was at One Taste, but everyone's like, come in, come in, do it. I'm like, ah, that's cool. It's cool. I'm just gonna have a meal and leave. And. And then she was like, you have to do it. You have to come to this thing. Not have to. She's not, like, evangelistic about it, but she. And she wasn't forcing it, but she was like, you should come to this thing. So I signed up for a weekend. I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. And I did not know what to expect at all. And if you want to listen to. I believe it was this week's Monday show.

No, it was Tuesday.

Tuesday. Oh, right. Cause you were gone and Menace had to be here to make fun of me. So Tuesday's show. I talked a lot about my experience there. And so what?

So.

But I want to talk to. So John is. Is an active member of One Taste, and he practices orgasmic meditation, or oming, as we call it. And so I learned all about it. And so, yeah, we should talk a little bit. Let's, like, recap on it. So how would you describe orgasmic meditation?

With you or in general?

We'll get to me in a second. Okay, well, first, like. Yeah, like what? Well, first, like, what got you to this whole thing? Movement.

Good question. I.

Hold on, hold on now. We should explain what it is.

Let's explain what it is first. I was trying to decide on my brain. I couldn't.

Yeah, it's a practice where two people come together. It's usually a man and a woman, and it's a practice where.

The stroker will put 100% of his attention on your genitals and on your clit and he'll stroke for 15 minutes. And the only thing that you're supposed to do is pay attention to the sensation that happens.

The woman's supposed to do is pay.

Attention to the sensation and the man as well. So the only thing he has to do is keep stroking and focus and pay attention to the sensation that he feels in his body as well. It's. It's. It's like a mindfulness practice where the only thing you're supposed to do is come back to the stroke and come back to the sensation you feel in your body. And that's it. If you've done that, you've done it.

Okay.

Yeah. Now it's. There's a lot more in there, but that's the basics.

And you have to be trained. Right. You can't just go in like off the street.

We have like pretty extensive om trainer program where a lot of guys come in and they learn the technique.

Close.

We're gonna just move the microphone over there. Sorry.

Yeah, it's easier to talk in the way close like this.

So. Yeah. And it takes some time. It's like any craft, like you might think, oh, you know, it's a finger and a clit and you can just go down there and do your thing and it's done. And it's. Actually, I've been doing it for about 18 months now. And it really is a craft. Like it takes time to really understand not only the anatomy and the sensibility, it takes to stroke this like very delicate place.

And then there's a lot of feeling things that happen. And there's a lot of intuition involved. A lot of things that you just start to sense. And we like to say on some level, it's like eventually you learn to play a very fine instrument. So like it takes time to get there too.

Right.

Because you fumble at first and it's like a little nerve wracking and you think you know what you're doing, then suddenly, like during the headlights, you don't.

Right.

Or I didn't at least.

Yeah. Most. Most guys don't. Let's just say that.

Most men do not. Most men are in. Most men are where you were 18 months ago. Right. They're fumbling around. They kind of know the clitoris. They've heard of it. They've. But they don't really know what to do.

I remember my first.

It was, it was a disaster, really. Like, I was so Nervous. And I.

I didn't really know what I was doing. And you're kind of confronted a bit because you think, you know. Then all of a sudden all the stuff comes up around performance and pleasing a woman, and we're supposed to know everything. And somehow along the way, like that sex ed class in eighth grade, like, it doesn't count, right? In a way. So it was a little humbling at first.

Right.

And then slowly you kind of, like, get through some of the blocks. And then bam, you hit a pocket of, like, pure, sweet orgasm. And everything changes.

Right. And how long did it take till you got to that point?

It happens in flashes. Like, it probably took me a few months of fumbling.

Right.

And sticking to it and quitting.

It's like everything you have to stick through, right?

Yeah.

So it's about. So what is, like, the philosophy behind it? Like, what? But it's.

Like, what? Yeah. So now I want to know what drew you there.

Well, you know, from what I've come to understand, it's like on a deeper level, it's like.

It's like men have always been able to, like, go towards sex and have it and be. And be the ones that can own it and have confidence there and take it if they want it. And in a way, what this practice is doing, it's starting to reverse that where the woman can, in a safe space, truly, like, get into her own orgasm and experience it. Because what happens is you start to get more full, fuller and fuller and fuller. Then the woman comes from full, and then the whole game changes. Like, when the woman is coming from empty, it's not the same. But a woman that's been oming for, like, a fair amount of time, suddenly she's full of sex and she's full of her own orgasm, and she's on. And then suddenly it's a totally different dynamic that happens between the man and the woman when she comes from totally turned on and full. And that's what we're doing. Like, we're stroking these women in order to get them, like, overflowing because then it kind of spills into us and everybody wins.

So what do you get out of this?

Good question.

You know, it's changed. It's changed over the months. Like, as of late, I'd say the past six months is that I get to feel her orgasm, and it's exquisite.

And her vagina, don't get me wrong. Right?

Yeah. Yeah, that's part of it. No, no, no.

So is that why you signed up for this? Be like Oh, I get to touch random women's vaginas or what?

You know, like, I never had like a big problem like getting women or hooking up or getting to that area. So it wasn't so much for me like, oh, I want to get in here because this will give me access. It wasn't so much about that for me personally. There are some guys that might come from that place and that's okay too, because after a while, after you do.

Go through the experience of what it takes to do it, it's not the.

It probably weeds out those guys too.

It kind of does. Like, a lot of these guys bounce. They bounce out because it's not quite what they expect it to be.

Okay, so, okay, then what do you get out of it then, if that is not the goal?

Well.

It'S starting to get to a point where it's starting to feel so amazing for me when I do it. Like. Like it feels good. It feels really good. And sometimes, you know, that's enough.

Now does it lead is a good place to hook up with chicks or what?

It can be, but it's. It's intention because it's like a contained thing that.

We're really doing it to. Well, it's why it's in a container. Right? So it's 15 minutes. The woman takes off her pants. We get into position, we stroke the pants go back on, and then we like to say after that, whatever you want to do, we can do. But it keeps the container, like, fixed. So the woman can go into this place without feeling like, am I going to have to reciprocate? Do I have to do something here? And then what happens after? Like, everyone's an adult. You can do what you want. But.

So how much do I have to pay to touch a random chick's vagina and then eventually maybe sleep with them?

How much do you have to pay? Yeah, well, I mean, you have to find. You have to find a woman to stroke. And then if you do, you can come in and we teach you the very basic.

How much does it cost to be part of this organization?

Well, it. I think an ohm trainer session is 120 bucks. You can come in, you'll spend about an hour and a half with, I think, menace.

So I. So I pay, I pay. How much? $125. And then you guys hook me up with random chicks. I can touch vagina.

You actually have to find your own woman. Like, we're not in the business of like finding women for her men.

But don't Women. Women just come in and do this.

There's.

We had. Well, Emily asked me her name. Yeah, so.

So yeah, yeah, that's what it is.

I did ask you. Okay. I thought you were assigned to me at first.

Now, how often do you masturbate after.

After touching a woman's vagina that you just met?

If I'm honest, it's rare. It's interesting. Like you would think that you would get into the position and have a hard on and I would say most of the time you don't. It might seem strange. Like, how could you not. It's weird. It's almost like you can feel the energy of sex at times, but it doesn't always necessarily lead to like an erection or like that thing happening. So.

It'S.

And there have been some women over the past 18 months. A couple. A few come to mind where there was a lot of sex in the om and a lot of like literal turn on where like the man would get an erection. And that has happened to me, but I would say most of the time it doesn't.

Okay, then I must have misunderstood because I thought there was this women going to this and thought women would just go to this. And then you are the professionally trained stroker.

It's not like that.

So the strokers have to bring their own chicks.

Yeah, there's like, again, like, we don't pair men up with women to do this. So if you want to come in and do it, you would have to find a woman. But the one thing we do do is we have like one taste events where like we'll have like an in group or a special night where like 100 people will be there. And most of the women in the room. Om. And if you're there, you. You obviously are there with one taste and you strike up a conversation, you strike up a chat about it. And you know, so the girls you.

Bring in, those are your girls. You're not sharing them with anybody else. Right.

The.

He doesn't bring in girls. He's saying there's. There's people who join, they take courses.

I know, I know. I'm saying I go. See, sorry, this is the way it's explained is kind of. I'm getting mixed answers here.

Okay.

To be honest.

Yeah.

All right. So as a teacher, you bring in the women, right? Or does a woman class. I want to take class.

Six classes. There's classes.

So random. So that's, that's when I was saying, Raymond, you can touch random women's vagina. You're like No, I got to bring my own chicken. Like. Okay, that's the part that's getting confused here.

Yeah, we, we do do courses as well that.

Like, for example, we'll have a gender balance course. So It'll be like 10 women and 10 guys. And then you're in the course for a weekend and then over the course of the weekend, you make connections with people in the course. Then a desire might come up like, oh, I'd love to own with that. I loved. Oh, I'm with her. So then it's up to you to ask her if the woman would like to like to. You might get a no, you might get a yes, you might get a I'm not sure. And its intent is to give you the fertile ground to ask if you want. And if you get a yes, then your freedom after the course. Yeah, cool. Yeah.

So I want to go back to what you said about that it feel because, Because Menace's question to you. His first question was like, what do you get from it? And what you said is, it's so hard to even explain but like that you, you actually feel the woman's orgasm. And that is very pleasurable. You feel it in your body. But that didn't happen the first few months. Right. But it's like any kind of meditation practice which I've done, you know, or any kind of practice. Like the first time you go to the gym, you're not like, oh my God, that's amazing. It's like you have to practice those muscles. So what does that feel like? Where does it, how do you feel it? What does it feel like?

It's, it's true what you said. Like it doesn't happen immediately.

Right.

It's been ridiculous as of late, I gotta say. Like there have been some experiences in the past four or five months where like I have felt like there's this like euphoric like crack feeling of like.

It's hard to explain.

I know it's hard to explain. Orgasm.

Like how do I explain how your orgasm feels like? I know, but it's like really.

Euphoric and like high tinny or pleasurable high notes feeling.

And there's a limbic thing that happens apparently when a woman goes into orgasm. Like oxytocin is released. And then what happens when a woman releases that is that suddenly we're in a field together of oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone that happens at birth. And so it's like that starts to happen within the ohm too. And then you pop up like we did, if you remember. And it was like. Like there was no veil between us.

Right.

Whereas normally, to be honest, there would have been a veil with you.

What?

Like, I would have put a lot of story on you. Like, you're like, really hot. And this person and you come in and like, all my story of, like, how am I going to be with this woman? Am I going to try to pick her up and am I going to be cool? Am I going to, like, not show that I'm attracted here? And then suddenly we sat down, we had the ohm, and we popped up and it was like. Like I could just be with you in a way that had no story on it. And that's why we're friends. I don't have to, like, be here and posture.

Right, right, right.

And it feels good.

Yeah.

To be able to.

He broke down some walls. He massaged my clitoris. Yes.

So. Yeah. And so what? Okay, so do you want to talk about that? Should we talk about that experience?

I thought you just did.

No. Well, not enough to get into it. What's wrong?

No, nothing.

Okay, so are you getting it more? Sorry.

Yeah, no, I get it. I got it.

If you want to come in, we can do a.

No, I mean, I think you should. There's a ton of orgy groups out there that can.

It's not an orgy group.

It's just a different form of orgy group. How's it not.

It's so not orgy.

That's just two people.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's just a different form. You're not having intercourse.

I think it would serve you well to learn about the.

How is it different from an orgy group? If you're getting 10 different guys and 10 different women together to do things like this.

It's not. It's not done in a big group. It's like you go into a private room.

Private room. No one's watching you. Like, there's not.

Yeah, orgy parties. You do that too.

It's only two people.

So what do you think that you've learned about women by doing this? Like, how is it. How is your.

Well, it's like, look, we're. We're in a space and time where it's like.

It's like men can have their sex and women can feel. And what this does is it flips where women can have their sex and men can feel. So on some level, it teaches men to feel in ways that we as kind of are a bit denser. Like, you Were saying earlier in the show, like, men don't pick up the signals. Men don't attune to a feeling sense. And basically it helps you attune in that place and like, really get more.

Yeah.

More.

In touch with what women want. So, like, you do you feel like you. Then you. 18 months ago, before that, like, so different how you would have sex with women or how you would be with a woman. It's just probably totally different now.

It is. It's like there's a place where.

You learn to go a lot slower.

Right.

You learn to, like, really do things for your own pleasure. There's an amazing thing happens when you're not trying to do it for her, you're doing it for yourself. Like, when I stroke, it feels. It starts to feel like these undulating, like, amazing feelings. And I'm doing it because it feels good for me.

Right.

When you're like, in a sex act, when you're doing something because it feels good for you, that gets the other person off the hook and they're free then. And then what happens is you're both. It's a different kind of sex happens.

Okay.

Yeah.

Got it.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

So how many chicks have you owned?

I'd say probably at this point around 50.

Yeah.

Yeah. Over the 18.

Anyway, you're like, oh, God, what'd you say? Any of them are like, oh, God damn. I don't want to own this chick right now.

You know what? We're. We're men. We have our preferences. There's no doubt about it.

Holy crap, I gotta own this chick right now.

Yeah, I know. There's gotta be some women there.

I actually had an experience in my very first ohm where there was six of us in the class. So I knew it was three guys and three women. And I knew one of these women I'd be stroking, and I was terrified. There was one woman in the class that I was absolutely terrified of. And, like, the night before, I was freaking out, afraid that, like, they were gonna pair me. And, like, I was like, no. And I ended up not having to. But you're right, there's a preference that.

Yeah. And what's cool too, is that what happens is eventually it opens up another idea, which is like, suddenly you're stroking someone that not in a million years would you ever be attracted to. But then you feel them and it feels really good and you're like, oh, it's kind of weird. Like.

Like you feel it, like, in your body. Like, it's hard to explain.

If you have the story in your head's going, I do not want to feel this woman this way. I do not. No part of me wants to feel this. And you do. And what do you do then? Because what's real? Your story or what you're feeling? And then there's some women, you're like, I cannot wait to get in there and do it. And you feel fucking nothing.

Wow.

And you're like, like, so at that point, what's real?

Right, Right.

So this is where there's an evolutionary leap happening here, where, like, this we have so much story around our sex because we are men and we're visual and we're like. It's a certain thing. And then there's. There's nothing there, you know, so it's the whole gamut.

Right.

And.

It was nice to stroke Emily.

I will not lie.

Sweet.

Yeah. What? Why?

Why? Well, I mean, I had a bit of story at first. Like, you're gorgeous. And I was like, come on. I get to like, that's amazing.

So this is why I do this, right?

It's like, this is great. So. Well, there's a bit of that. What was the question?

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. It was.

She likes compliments. So, you know, just come up with a couple. And then.

And then it was hot. Like, you're like, totally. What was great is that like, obviously you're immersed in sex. It's your life, right? So you were just like, bam, pants off. Up for it. Down there. Went. And I was like, it just felt so good to have you, like, in a free fall state where you were just up for it.

Right.

Because it was like a bit of an experiment. You're like, what is this about?

You know?

And it felt great to have you so free in that place.

Yeah, I felt very, like, I thought I was gonna be nervous, but I was just like. I don't know, I felt very open. I just like dropped my drawers and do it.

And then you sank in, like, amazing. I gotta say, like, a lot of women at first, like, every woman is in a different place on her, in her orgasm. And like, sometimes it takes a woman like 10 ohms to feel anything. And some the first time they drop in and bam, they're going. And that was you. You were like pretty much like able to get out of your head completely and drop in your body almost instantly. And you were like in that state pretty quickly.

So are these mostly single women? They're coming in and doing this now?

It's both Actually, there's a lot of couples that come in, like couples that have been together for years and their sex life is kind of starting to dwindle. So they come in and the men, like, learn this stroking technique in order to basically get that energy, like, back in her body. Because if you, like, pay attention here every day and learn to, like, bring this energy in, the woman is obviously a lot more turned on, so. And then the guy gets what he wants because his woman wants it, you know, it's cool.

So do you have to sit there and while another guy is touching your. Your girl's cha cha, he's explaining, like, how to.

We're up in there. Like, I'm an owner. Okay. Coach, too.

And like, what kind of school gear do you wear?

We go in there with the mining helmets and the light, and you get right up in there because you have to. And there's a very specific place.

I love San Francisco, right?

It's like we start in the upper left hand quadrant of her. Of her clit, right under the hood. And it's where there's 8,000 nerve endings, apparently. It's like, where there's more nerve endings there than any part of the human body, both male and female. So it's like that's the place to start. And you trigger orgasm right in this one specific place. Then after you master that one place, then you can move on to other areas of the clit that elicit other responses.

Now, let's say it's wild, dude. Let's say I don't. Let's say I don't want to go in the private, you know, little dungeons that you guys have. Do you have an app or something like that?

Menace is very.

You know what? We're already thinking about that. There's a stroking app that we've said jokingly at first, and now it's upon us. No doubt there will be an app soon. And there's nothing like the real thing.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta get in there.

You know, there's a little map. Say, hey, you know that little place?

Actually, yeah, we. We have.

Yeah, but it's a book. Like. Yeah, app, dude. Come on.

Videos, Videos. There's videos you can watch. I watch, you know, women getting owned and the whole thing, so. And it's not your traditional orgasm. Like, I wouldn't say that I had, like a traditional orgasm. Like, it, for me, like, it wasn't. But it's just like the sensation that's different. But I guess that would change after. Yeah, it evolves and changes after. We do it after I do it again and if I kept. Kept with the practice, it's a.

It's a different definition of orgasm. It's not like the fleeting climax.

Right.

It's extending the waves of it in order to let it build, not have it spike and go down.

Right.

So it's not even about climax. Although some women do go over. We call it in at home.

Most don't because most don't have, like the. It's not like you're climaxing because the.

Way we stroke is like, really slowly to elicit an organic, deeper orgasm within you instead of like, getting you off to have you go to a climax and go over.

Right. Like, I have a friend who went there and she was like, I just want him to go harder. Like, I just wanted to. You want to have that orgasm, but it kind of. It's like. It's supposed to be like it expands energy through your body.

It's different. It's a different. It's a different model we're building that Nicole is so amazingly white pioneering.

Why do you think some of them fail? Is it because, again, because we talk about this on the show all the time, that.

Well, who failed that?

Where they don't get to where they want to be.

Men.

No, women. Like, they don't get to that orgasmic state that they want to.

Are you talking about a climax state or.

Yeah, climax state.

Okay.

Wherever you are leading them.

Yeah.

Does you lead them to the promised land every single time or did. Sometimes it fails. And why do you think it fails? Is it because we talk about here all the time women can orgasm because they overthink things.

Right?

Right.

Well, two things. One, I'm not doing it, although it might seem as if I am. The orgasm itself is the involuntary in her body that I'm stroking to come out. Like, I'm not causing it. I'm stroking until it activates within her own body. And then like a top starts spinning. It starts to spin. And then I just have to keep doing this, keep hitting it, and it keeps spinning, but it's. It's not me doing it. Second of all, like, I had a disastrous ohm. This morning was horrible. Like, almost halfway through it, I almost got up and, like, left.

Wow.

Okay, so it's not all roses. Like, there was anger in the om. There was like I was failing in the om, which is how it felt to me. And then I got triggered and pissed off, and it was like. It was horrible. And that's part of it. Like, we're here to experience like the full range of things.

Right.

And her anger met mine, I think. And all sudden it was like poof. And it kind of went off in a way. So it's not all roses. It's great most of the time. And sometimes there's emotions in there and things that happen that are real and they come up in the ohm. And that's why om is kind of amazing. Like whatever's there, it will surface. Yeah. Cool.

What have you learned about so you om 50 women? And would you say that about 50 women?

Yeah.

What would you say about all the different. What have you learned about women? Like their orgasms and their bodies and their clitoris? Like what. What would you say that you've learned?

I would say there is no one woman that is the same. Everyone is unique. Like it is amazing the range of anatomy that I've seen like some clits. The om is over. And I never even. I never saw it. I never quite felt it to a clit that the minute you're down there, it's already out going like stroke me right. And everything in between. So it's been an amazing thing.

Sounds like you're in the fucking Matrix, man.

Dude.

Dude. When you go down into that space, it's how it can.

Most men just don't like, they don't take the time. They don't. They know that there's something there, but they're not like looking at it. And they then and it's like full.

Attention on it and it goes a long way. Like just to give men a chance to like focus here and to bring some technique in and to bring some of the learning that we've found around. Like the clit has more nerve endings than any place on the body. It means one micro move of your.

More than the penis.

Right? It's more one micro move.

Are you looking at me when you say that? More than the penis. And then you're just like shaking your head.

It's your fault.

This is why we're better. Like I get it, you guys are amazing. But it's just so hard to satisfy you guys in every way. That's why us men have problems. We don't care that you guys have more nerve endings than us, but you don't.

Like, look at.

Wow, look at that nerve packed clip. I really want to get in there.

Like I'm jealous though. You're like shaking your head like I should be jealous.

Yeah. Menace. I've always wanted you to be jealous of my clique. That's what I'm going for today.

No, that women. That guys should be jealous of women. That's all.

Yeah, so what? Okay, so every woman. So every. So you've seen all these different, like, machinations of the vagina. But what about their orgasms too?

All different again, all different.

It's interesting. I had a first dome the other day with a woman. And like, it felt jangly. Like I could feel parts in there that were like, exquisite and amazing. And then there were parts in there that were like, kind of disconnected and jangly. And I was like, wow. Like, this is where she's at. And the man can start to feel that, right? Yeah, to. Yeah. It's like. It's such a unique.

It's wild. Like you start to own with a woman and you start to know exactly who she is.

Really. Like, how. What do you learn from a woman?

Okay, so I had this om the other day, and it was a woman that I'm interested in. And what happened was my desire got hot for her over these weeks and I freaked her out. I started to get grabby in a little pulley, right? And it turned her off. And then I went into wrong and I felt awful. Right then when I'm in that place and I'm losing, I'm kind of fucked because I don't know how to act then, right? I'm kind of needy. I want it. I don't know how to be vulnerable and show that. I kind of want to hook up and be in there. And then she feels the grabbiness is just like, fuck off. Wants nothing to do with it, right? So we had this like two weeks where it's just so awkward between us. And then I was like, why don't we have an ohm? And we did. And it was amazing. Like, she. Her clit. I learned in the ohm. Like, her clit would not come out and meet me. It wouldn't. So I'm in there trying to get it.

Had you owned her before?

Yes.

Okay.

Months ago. But I'm in there trying to get it, trying to get it, trying to get it. Which is when you overlay, like, what those weeks were.

I was trying to get it, trying to get it. It was like manifesting, right? It was like a projection of what was going on.

I realized that I needed to stroke a little off of it and a little slower and let her come to me a bit.

Oh, right.

And it was like, holy shit. Like, I had the burst go off in the om where how I had been relating to her was like I was trying to get. Trying to get it. And she just wouldn't.

Right.

And then I realized with her that if I just go off of it a bit like, like, don't be so frontal with her right off her a bit and to stroke like a little slower and a little patiently, she'll come out and meet me. And she did.

Wow.

And then towards the end of the Om, she started to like emerge and her orgasm started coming out and I was like, holy shit, I got it right. I'm like, I've been over stroking you in life, like pulling on you and all this stuff. And I learned in that moment how to handle her.

So now what? Now you guys sleeping together?

And then we talked about it. I was like, oh my God, like I've been doing this. And it all appeared in the Om. And we had this amazing kind of bonding thing where all the story and all the shit that we had been through in those weeks became apparent in the Om, right? And we can like start at friends again and just like laugh about it and talk about say, that's great. And then I say, yeah, I'm vulnerable in there. Like I have these desires that come up and I don't know what to do with them. And now I know, like when I feel it just to like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool.

That actually is a good explanation of kind of what?

That's a really good explanation. I mean, I think that there's so much to the. To the female, to the, you know, to our bodies and to our orgasms that there's so much more men to learn.

You're complicated being.

I know, I know, right? I mean, I think it's pretty amazing. Yeah. All right, we gotta wrap up.

Yeah, thank you.

That's fast. I told you too fast. And that wasn't too bad, was it? Okay, everyone. Yeah. This is John. He's from One Taste if you want. What's the website?

Yeah, it's OneTaste Us.

OneTaste Us if you want to learn more about it. And thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Let me make sure I have all the information here that I've shared to say, yeah, we won't be here Monday, but we'll be here Tuesday and hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback emily.com there's one overlooked.

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