SWE: Your Sex Questions Answered

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Thanks for listening.

Enjoy the show.

Hi everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I no longer have the friends with benefits program. My podcast is completely free so that you can always enjoy sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. Wow, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, or you can go to itunes and subscribe. We've got hundreds of podcasts you can listen to, and they're all great because they're evergreen topics about everything you want about sex. And I hear from you every day that your sex life improves by listening to the show.

And.

And I appreciate that. So you can always email me feedbackexwithemily.com today's show. Okay, we're talking about the most embarrassing sex questions that you might have and that I get asked. So one of the. This occurred to me the other night. One of the most common questions I get asked by my profession when people find out what I do for a living, they say, okay, what's the craziest question you've ever gotten asked? And what's the weirdest thing you ever heard and what totally blew you away? And I have to say, I've been doing it for eight years, so I don't really. Nothing really shocks me anymore. But I thought, you know, there is a series of questions that I get asked a lot that could be seen as embarrassing. That I thought, you know what? I'm just going to dress this during a show once and for all, because there's really nowhere else for people to go for this kind of information. Sure, you can Google it and see what people say, like on Yahoo or something, but really, I have all the answers, so we're going to give them to you. We're also going to be reading the emails you sent to Feedback at sex with emily.com and I am here with Menace. What's up, Menace?

What's going on? Emily, how you doing?

I'M doing fabulous. How are you doing?

I'm doing great. Can I tell you something that's going on with me this Saturday in San Jose, California?

Okay. You love San Jose. What's going on?

So it's not part of a. Like a radio promotion or anything like that. I'm not get. I'm not getting paid to do this, but you might think this is fun and you might want to do it yourself. You might want to fly from Los Angeles here to the Bay Area. I would love to. My friend is part of a gym and they're doing a women's defense course. And I get to be the aggressor. So we'll be beating me up this Saturday.

So they're gonna be tossing you on your ass. That's amazing.

Yeah. I just volunteered.

You just. That's so cool.

I just thought it'd be funny. I mean, to, you know, get my ass kicked by women.

That is so funny. Yeah, I think that's. That's gonna be amazing because women do. I've never taken one of those courses, but you might get hurt. What if there's some brutes in there?

You know, whatever. I'm down for the cause.

That's a really fun thing that you should do. I'm happy that you're doing that, Menace. I am this weekend. Let's see what I'm doing. I've got Loveline on Thursday night, which I love. If anyone checks has Loveline in the city that you live in, check out the local listings. It's lovelineshow.com I believe you can also watch and listen live. And it was so funny last week, Menace, because on Loveline, everyone knows Loveline with Dr. Drew. It's been around for 30 years. So we had this big topic. Menace was someone called in and they were like, we were talking about sexting. Oh, oh, oh. You know who was on the show? Anthony Wieners. Sydney. That woman, Sydney Leathers. So she was on and she was talking all about the sexting and what went on with them and the pictures she sent and how she really thought she was in love. Everyone knows Anthony Weiner's running for mayor of New York. And he's already had allegations before, and he has stepped down from office two years ago for sending his penis through Twitter. Pictures of his penis. So I went off on this whole thing. I'm like, I don't think that anybody should ever send naked pictures because, you know, I think it's wrong. I think it's a mistake. They're always going to come back and haunt you. And what I want to tell the women sending pictures is that I freaking see them. Your guy friends that you're dating. My guy friends, your boyfriends, they show me those pictures and they show your friends, and when they break up, they're gonna post it somewhere. We had so many calls from callers on Loveline who were like, oh, my God, my boyfriend from high school took a picture of me and posted it on Facebook. So people just be careful. I mean, I know sexting is all the rage. Don't put your face in it. And if you can avoid it, just. Why can't they just enjoy your body when you're together? Why does everyone need to send naked pictures? What do you think?

But. But you can send me naked pictures because you can trust me, I'll never.

Right.

Because I'll never do that to somebody.

Never say never. But Menace does have a bevy of sex tapes that I don't think he's ever showed anybody but himself.

Yeah, I don't. I don't share.

I can't believe I've never done that. And of course, everyone assumes, oh, you're sex with Emily. You've taken lots of sexting photos or whatever. And I've never taken a nude photo. Never sent one, never done it. And I wonder if guys I date are, like, cool. Well, at least she's gonna send me naked pictures. Because they assume sex with Emily's, like, so in front of the rafters naked. But I haven't done it because I believe. I don't want anything to come back and haunt me. When I get naked in front of a camera, I want to choose to release it to the world.

Yes.

Like, if things get bad, you know? But then last night, my friend is dating this guy, and she's so turned on by him. She's like, oh, my God, he just sent me a five minute video of him masturbating from beginning to end. Yes. Just his penis, which apparently she's obsessed with. And it was just him masturbating, so going up and down with his hand on his penis. And then when he squirted, the splooge went all over the phone. Like, all over the kid, the lens. And she was really turned on by it. I don't know. There's something for everyone. So, you know.

Now. Wait a minute. She let you watch this?

No, she didn't. I don't want to see it.

Yeah, right.

No, she told me about it on the phone that she's like, if you told me a year ago. But see, it's all about who you date, I guess, and what you're into. She's like, if you told me a year ago that I'd be into some guy, you know, masturbating on the phone, sending me this video, I'd be grossed out. But she was really into it, so there's something for everyone. All I care about is your safety. People if you. I mean, people think they're gonna get famous, they're gonna do a sex tape. That's all ridiculous. Like, just, you know, you want to get a job someday being, you know, you want to work in government or something, and then this sex tape or this sex picture shows up, you're in deep trouble. So I'm just warning the world I'm gonna start a campaign. Yeah. All the.

All these women that get some type of fame now. They're all doing pornos.

Exactly. It's a slippery slope. Sydney Leather isn't any different. She's doing some sexy things, and I'm sure she'll be doing a porno soon. And because they need money, and I get. It's a fast road to money. Oh, she did a porn. That's right. She shot.

Yeah. I think that's why she was in la. She's really lovely, though. She's very smart, articulate, all that stuff. So, I mean, I liked her. She's gonna come on the Sex with Emily show too.

Oh, my God.

What would you want that.

No, she's just a fame whore.

Oh. But she's really smart and articulate.

Ish. Well, yeah, I heard her on the Howard Stern Show. She was. Yeah. I mean, she was funny and stuff like that, but it's just like, I know you're keeping. Though you're keeping those type of people in business is what you're doing by having them on your show. But, I mean, if you're down with that, then, you know, whatever. I'm just upset that you didn't do it first.

What, do a sex tape first? Yeah.

Or, you know, release a sex tape. And you would have millions of dollars.

Like, see, I'm kind of pissed, too. I feel like when I started Sex with Emily, all my advice from my really smart friends were like, you know what you should do?

You should.

Like, my guy friends were like, you should really just put a naked picture of yourself on the Sex with Emily website, which I never did. Like, my friend, who's literally a billionaire and one of the most successful entrepreneurs in San Francisco, if not, the world, was like, I had, like, a serious. Like, I sat down we had lunch. I'm like, listen, dude, like, we've been best friends for a long time. What do you suggest? He's like, I just think you should don some lingerie and post it on your website. I'm like, oh, my God. That's not what I'm about. I'm about sex education. Smart, funny, but so far, so good. Menace, we haven't had to sell out yet with nudity. Unless you've done a naked. Unless you're gonna do it for us.

I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

Okay, good to know it's not gonna happen anytime soon. But I wanted to say also that everyone can check out the show. As you know, on podcasts, we're gonna be doing like, two shows a week, which is awesome. And I also went back to T Radio V and did a video show last week, so you can check that out in San Francisco. Remember, we used to do. It's a video podcast. So. And I was also. It was fun. It was fun. It's on. It's on the website. It was with Tony from my new. My new product line is coming out in two weeks called Emily and Tony, and it is gon rock your world. Go to emilyandtony.com we're going to be doing tons of giveaways. It's a lubricant, it's a massage candle, and it's a ball lotion for men. It's a ball cream that turns to powder that will make you not sweat and smell delicious. And that's all I'm going to tell you. But it's going to change your world. So that's really exciting. So we talked about that, and then I was on Playboy tv. Oh, my God, Menace, I have to tell you this. So I was on Playboy TV this weekend, this past weekend, on a show called Swing. Apparently, it's the number one show on Playboy tv. And as you can guess, it's a house of swingers, right? And every week it's a reality show. And every week they bring in a newbie couple, right, who's already, like, sort of swinging but might want to try something new or. So this couple was a newbie couple, and they wanted to do a full swap, meaning he swaps with the wife and she swaps the husband or whatever, right? So they go in. It's a mansion. I mean, just like the Bachelor. You walk in, all the couples are there. And let me tell you something, Menace. So anyway, so they go through this whole process, and it's the show Was actually, like, interesting. They ended up doing the full swap. They're really happy. They're all swingers. They all love each other. But the interesting thing, Menace, Menace and I have had. Had this ongoing debate for, I don't know, as long as we've been doing the show. Eight or nine years. Menace thinks that every swinger has a ponytail.

Yeah.

Not one ponytail to be seen. And there was, like 20 swimmers, but.

They least had, like, dark, leathery skin, right?

Like, no, no. Attractive.

Very, very. Not very well dressed. Like something's a little bit off.

No, they were all hot. Check out the show. Check out the show. Menace, I'm telling you, you were wrong.

Maybe that's just SF swingers.

And I did. Exactly. And I didn't want you to be wrong. And I actually got some. I got a few invitations, as you know, maybe to join, but I don't think I'm gonna do that this. This year. Very surprising, I know. Surprising. So I also want to talk about this new. Okay. So, you know, I moved into my new place again, which you have to see. I'm loving it, but I. I have. I've sort of been overwhelmed. Okay. So I mentioned during last week's podcast that I have all these sex toys that I want to give away to listeners. And I literally. I don't think I've received as many emails about giving away my sex toys as I did during the hand job debate. Menace and I used to have a hand job debate about. I was trying to bring back the hand job. I thought they were interesting and men would like them. And Menace thought blowjobs were better. It got all caught out of control. If you've been listening to the show for a while, you'll know what I mean. But, like, I heard from, like, 50 listeners who were like, I want your toys. I want your toys. So I'm trying to figure out a way to. Because I don't have the money to, like, ship them to everybody, but I'm trying to think of, like, maybe one of the sponsors or whatever, because I have so many. So last night I was in my garage for four hours organizing my sex toys to see what I had. And I have everything, okay? Every single thing. I've got condoms, I've got lubes, I've got cock rings, I got vibrators. It's crazy, right? And I haven't even tested them all out. So I will be sending toys to everyone. But the one thing that I want to say is that I. So last night I had to try out something new And I've always talked about the Jeju Mimi. It's J E J O U E and it's a Mimi M I M I Because I think it's a great partner toy because you can use it during sex for intercourse. You can. Women can hold it on their clitoris and it's really powerful. It looks like a big stone, like a pebble, but it's like a big. It fits in the palm of your hand and it doesn't even look like a vibrator. And I love how it charges. I love all the Jaejoo products. So it turns out they sent me the fifi, which is their version of the rabbit. And it is friggin epic. You know, the rabbit has something for your clitoris and it's internal and it's like beautiful. Their vibrators are all made like so well and they're waterproof and they're amazing. So I. My new recommendation this week is the FIFI F I F I. It's a great gift for someone. It gives full internal stimulation while thumping its big floppy ears on your clitoris. It's rechargeable and you can use it over and over again. And it's super powerful. So if you want one, go to Good Vibrations. Use coupon code GVMLY20 for 20% off orders of $100 or more at Good Vibrations because we love. You can buy anything@goodvibes.com we love all their stuff.

Dig it.

Yeah, we do. Okay, so I thought that we could talk about some embarrassing sex questions. And so because these are really the main questions that people get asked and manis. What do you think is one of the embarrassing questions.

Is? I mean it's always, is my penis number one?

Ding ding ding ding ding.

Do I last long enough?

Yeah, exactly.

All that kind of stuff.

Okay, so let's go to the first one. Does penis size really matter? Now, Menace, as a man, you've probably spent some time in your. Or maybe not. I've never seen your penis, but have you worried about your penis size or do you know men who have.

Do I. I don't think men discuss their. I mean they joke around, right, about their penis size, saying oh, they're always huge and stuff like that. But I don't think they actually really have a sincere discussion about it.

Right. I believe that men get ruined in the locker room. Like they see the guy next to them. Someone teases them when they're like 12 and they never get over it or they're just worried about their penis size. But it's not about the size. It's about pleasing your partner in multiple ways and just figure out what turns her on. So when women complain about a man's size, if they ever do, I don't think, and I do know it's actually not about the size. It's the fact that she wasn't having an orgasm. She wasn't turned on. He just stuck it in. He wasn't pleasing her. And a lot of women can't even orgasm with your penis alone. No matter how big it is, even if your penis is as big as King Kong, they're not going to have an orgasm. So the average Penis size is 5.5, between 5.5 inches and 6.5 inches erect. And so a lot of women, like I said, do find it difficult to orgasm just with a penis alone. I think only 30% of women without extra clitoral stimulation. Most women need clitoral. So don't trip on your penis size. So a guy with a big penis can't even rely on that. So sometimes if a guy has a really big penis, you know, like last time I checked, the clitoris not inside the vagina. So it has to do with the clitoris. So for those who are truly, truly tiny, if you're a tiny penis man, pressing inside instead, pressing instead of thrusting in the missionary position, so you don't thrust in that, you press, you like, are pressing more in, in, in. You can also have the woman on top. That way you can go deeper. You can place her legs on your shoulders during missionary. You can also try having her on all fours. And a great.

Trip is when she trick, whatever. When she is on top, put a pillow under your butt to raise up your pelvis. So this is a little optical illusion thing you can do or whatever. If you feel like, you know, you're not quite long enough or whatever. You put a peanut, a pillow under your butt and it'll just make your pelvis raise up and she'll feel it. So really, it's not about the size of the ship. It's about the motion of the ocean. It's how you learn to use your penis and how you learn to please her. So don't trip on the penis thing. And I'm going to read an email that is today. We've mixed the emails into our topic, so something a little different. Emily. I'm 22. I recently started seeing a guy who has a huge, beautiful penis. But I've never experienced this kind before. This should never be a problem, right? Wrong. I'm barely five two and a petite woman, and sex with him is so painful. I've managed to get through it multiple times. But after I'm so sore, does the pain ever go away? If not, can you suggest anything to make it less painful? Thanks. Signed. Too much of a good thing. So, okay, everyone. See all you guys are worried about your penis right now. There's some penises that are actually too big. This is not the first time I've gotten an email or question from you like this. So the thing I got to say to you, too much of a good thing, is you don't want to just go through the motions. You really want to enjoy it. So you got to communicate to Kim, if you haven't already, that it hurts. A lot of women are reluctant to tell their partner something is wrong because they think they should be able to deal with all the problems on their own. And they don't want to come across as, like, whiny or hurdy or whatever, but. And they want to show the man that they're enjoying themselves. But if you don't tell them what's going on, your sexual experience won't improve. So I would say, you know, spend a lot of time on foreplay before having sex, so make sure that you're really turned on. Use lots of lubricant. You can use the Emily and Toady lubricant when it comes out. And if it feels good, it will prepare you to, you know, loosen up and open and brave his beasty penis. But when it comes down to actually having sex, here's the deal. You could pick positions that incorporate more shallow thrusting. So shallow thrusting is actually great for you because it won't hit your cervix with his penis, and it'll hopefully be less painful. And something that you all should know is the outer third of a woman's vagina is the most sensitive. The G spot actually is only 2 inches inside the vagina. So men find they also enjoy the shallow thrusting because it stimulates the head of the penis, which is the most sensitive part. So, menace. Have you ever heard about this? You probably don't have women complaining to you about too big of penises, right? Yeah, but I have heard this before, so I just wanted to answer it. So if you want to go for the missionary position.

Do not put a pillow under your butt or your legs over your shoulders, because this is the opposite of when you have a smaller penis, because the more your pelvis tilts, the deeper he penetrates, which makes sense. So go for positions where you can keep your legs closer together. Not only this will, this will stop him from going too deeply, but you can explore some amazing positions. We've talked about the cat position a lot. We just did a blog post on it. Go to my website, Google Cat cat, that'll come up. But I would say a lot of women experience pain. There was a study that just came out by the University of Indiana, or I think it's Indiana University, that said like the majority, it was a really high majority of women experience some sort of pain during sex and they never talk about it, they never explore it. So you know, you got to talk to your partner about it. And yes, it will go away and you guys will figure out a way to have amazing sex even with his big penis. So big penis, small penis, we can all have great sex.

Right?

Madness. Anything you'd like to add to the penis?

I mean, there's really nothing you can do about it. So, you know, you got to deal with the cards that you have begin given.

Exactly. Don't trip on whatever it is.

Don't dwell on it.

Right? Everyone dwells. Everyone dwells. Don't dwell. Okay, how do I. My next embarrassment. We're talking about most embarrassing questions. How do I prevent premature ejaculation? So premature ejaculation is probably one of the most common sexual issues that people have, like erectile dysfunction, which is what a lot of people take Viagra for. A lot of times they have pe. Okay, so pe, we know what that is. When you have an orgasm before you'd like to, you lose control. Sometimes it's in a minute. We call it the minute man menace. Has this ever happened to you? I'm sure it has.

Yeah. Really? It's all about the pregaming.

It's all about the menace has a theory that you should pre game that you should masturbate. Masturbate before you're gonna have sex with someone, you can masturbate. But a lot of guys, this doesn't help.

So even women, though, even women should pre game if they orgasm. We're like, yeah, tighten it up, ladies.

Yeah. What'd you say? Tighten it up.

Tighten it up, ladies.

Well, yeah, that's true, I guess, but I. The thing about women is sometimes it's more challenging to orgasm. So we like to build up the, for like the tension in our, like, thinking about what's going to happen. Because women are very like, our brain is the largest sex organ. So if I know I'm going to have had sex tonight with a guy, I'm going To think about it all day. So I'll be really turned on, ready to go. But I don't think I'd want to masturbate beforehand. But with men, this could help. So PE early in a relationship sometimes is caused by anxiety and certain stimulations. So a lot of times they say it's in your mind and it's anxiety. But I don't want to say that because it could be also something physical. But for the women, when a man premature ejaculates, I would just say take it as a compliment rather than being unsatisfied. Just think the man's crazy about you. So crazy you can't hold it in. So I mean, that's what I always think. Like if a man is premature, ejaculated with me once or twice, I'm like, okay, that's cool. That happens. As long as he pleases me, he can perform oral sex. I can whip out my vibrator, he can use his fingers, it's fine. Women know that this happens. Okay. And now if it happens repeatedly, like, I dated someone for a while years ago that actually really like had this problem. Like every time we had sex, he would come within a minute and we went out for like two years. Okay. So we read the book the multi Orgasmic man, which is a really good book to read about this. There's some other books I can recommend. But even though there are no definite like cures for this disorder, like you can try relaxing when you find yourself getting overstimulated so you can start like breathing and relaxing. There's the whole stop start method that they talk about in the book, in the Multi Orgasmic man book. And there's just some exercises they give you. You can also get into the sex positions that you're less likely to orgasm in. Like women on top. And also thinking about non sexual activities will help PE occur less. But the problem with this is that's like thinking about your third grade teacher with the hairy mole. So I mean, I would say talk to your partner about it. Don't be embarrassed if it's something that you can't control, like through exercise, like through doing like certain exercises with your penis. And if it's happening for a long time, I would talk to your doctor. But there also is a new product on the market that is sort of blowing me away. And the only reason I'm talking about it because I don't usually say like, here's the cure, take this pill. This actually isn't a pill. You don't need a prescription. However, Every single sex doctor that I respect in the world. And there's only a few of them. Not that I respect, but there aren't even that many of us. Okay. But there's a few that are the most well known. They've all endorsed this product. And so if you don't want to have to think about baseball or whatever you. It's called Promescent. It's P R O M E S E N T and it's the world's first and only FDA approved treatment for pe. And so basically, yeah, it's the only one. And you can get it on their website or click on the banner on our site. One in three men suffer from premature ejaculation. So previously menace, the only treatments for this very real and very unspoken about disorder were antidepressants. They tell dudes, they go to their doctor, they're like, well take, you know, antidepressant. And the problem is there's so many side effects with antidepressants. You know, we've talked about this before. Like maybe you can't orgasm, but there's all these other side effects. Like you might not even be able to get hard. You might have dry mouth, night sweats, you might not even want. I mean, it could be so many things, you don't want to take a pill. So there's also numbing sprays and both of which come with awful side effects. The thing about Promescent is there's never been any complaints or return orders. They have zero side effects. It works in 10 minutes. It's a desensitizing spray that's quickly absorbed onto the penis so it will not transfer to your partner. So if you spray it, menace, meanness, penis, and we had sex, I wouldn't get, I wouldn't be desensitized. Your penis just stays harder, longer. So you feel like a rock star because you're staying harder, longer. It desensitizes it, but it doesn't mean that you can't feel feel it. It helps you stay harder, longer. There are no side effects. FDA approved. Go order a bottle online, see if you like it. All I know is that like people, everyone reorders it and they've had no complaints. I talk to the CEO. Crazy. I know it's crazy because I'm like, I don't know what to tell guys. I'm like, read the multi orgasmic man, do exercises. But after living with it, like literally with this guy for two years, I'm not saying there aren't things to do about it, but it's almost like you might not be able to cure it. It might be your lifelong curse. I don't know. I mean, not even that it's a curse. Maybe some women are cool with that. They want to get it over in a minute. But if it's a problem for you, check out promescent. So that's what I got to say for that embarrassing question. Okay, next embarrassing question. Why am I unable to get an erection?

What?

What? Some people can't get erections. Problems with erections may stem from medications, chronic illnesses, poor blood flow to the penis, drinking too much alcohol. Menace. Or being too tired.

No. Increases my erection.

I know, menace. You're lucky. You have all the great side effects. But for a lot of people, I would say if you cannot get an erection, you're a young guy or, you know, even, you know, your 30s or 40s, go see your doctor. So many men are really hesitant about going to their doctor for any penis or sex related issues. And I don't know what it is. Like, I talked to my doctor about everything. Maybe it's because it's a gynecologist, but men are just like, I'm going to check up, I'm not going to tell them about my penis stuff because men never want to talk about those issues around their penis. So I would say get checked out. I mean, but again, it could be a medication you're taking, it could be blood flow, whatever it is, drinking too much, too tired, too stressed. Talk to your doctor. I've got nothing else better to say about that. Okay, the next one. I have a strange fetish. These are the most embarrassing questions. I have a strange fetish. Do I embrace it or try to hide it?

What do you think?

Menace?

Hide it?

Not necessarily. Some people have fetishes and they can't have sex without them. The problem is if you have like a foot fetish, you like need a foot to be present to have an orgasm. So try. Having a fetish keeps your sex life with your partner. It can keep it very stimulated. Some fetishes might be too far left. Talking and discussing your fetish with your partner could add a boost to your sex life. And it also might give you insight into what turns her on. So you can say, you know what I love when you show your feet. You have such beautifully pedicured feet. What turned you on, babe? And she might tell you, I've always wanted you to blindfold me. And then there you go. So it's a good way to have a discussion about sex during your fantasies. Even if it seems too taboo to the person, such as a woman having a rape fantasy, there are some fantasies that, you know, a woman might really want to try with you, and you can kind of switch. So fetishes are what make most people orgasm. So if you try, try out your fetish, try out your fetish. But I would first talk to your partner about it first. Because the problem is if you don't take care of your fetish, if you don't find someone who's going to satisfy your fetish and therefore allow you to orgasm with your fetish present, you're probably going to have an unsatisfied sex life. So here's an email that illustrates that. Dear Emily, I get sex once a month from my wife, and I masturbate every other day, if not every day. I also should. I worry about being judged by God. I watch porn such as facials, men and women, etc. And all the women squirting. I have a fetish of women peeing themselves. It just turns me on. So I'm worried. Am I cheating on my wife in my heart for doing all that? At least I'm not cheating on her. Right? Signed not cheating. Okay, so he is. I don't think that you're cheating if you're watching porn of women peeing on themselves. God knows they've got porn of every single scenario you could think of in your life. Like a woman with double D breasts riding a bike while being penetrated with a dildo or whatever it is. There's, like, so much porn out there. So I don't think you're cheating on her. I think it's a healthy outlet. And I would be concerned if you were taking it to another level and like seeing a prostitute or paying someone that you could watch them pee on themselves. That's when it's a problem. I'm wondering, do you communicate with your wife at all about any sexual stuff? Because you might not know. I mean, you guys are together, she loves you. She might be like, okay, let's take a shower. People who have these peeing fetishes. What if you took a shower and she peed on herself? How would that feel? She could wash it off. She'd be turning you on. She loves you. That might be a great entree into discussing your fetish.

What do you think?

Madness.

I. I don't know. It's weird. I knew people back in high school that were into this.

You did?

Yeah. I. I didn't get it then and I don't get it now.

Well, it's just. I. It's just what gets wired in people's brains. It could have been something he saw when he was younger.

Yeah, but what ha. I mean, how does. How does that even happen?

I mean, I think it could be like images that they see in porn and it really turns them on. Maybe. Maybe like. Like they peed in their pants in third grade and it somehow got fetishized. Usually comes from early childhood trauma that is around sex or childhood. Something that's impactful that happens to you during formative years sexually. Like if you're obsessed with redheads, maybe you had a crush on your kindergarten teacher and she was a redhead and you have a fetish about redheads. And you know what I mean? It goes back to childhood, so that's how it happens. And you don't have one, so you don't have to worry about. Although I always thought it'd be kind of cool to have a fetish because then I'd know. I'd always orgasm. I know exactly what my sex was about. And I don't know, I just think it's not such a bad thing and you can find someone who'd be down with it.

But I don't have a fetish. Alas, not yet, but you'll be the first to know. Okay. Most embarrassing, though. What'd you say?

Remember we brought this fetish like a year ago where I asked you if the man of the. Of your dreams one day, I don't know if.

Sweeps you off your feet and your head over heels, which has never happened in your entire lifetime, but somehow, some way, it happens.

There was just one little thing that he was interested in, and it was, you know, he's the perfect guy in every single way. But in the bedroom, he just requests maybe once in a while that you dress up as the Hamburglar from McDonald's to get him off. Like something happened in his childhood where he finds that very sexual. Would you dress up as the Hamburglar? And you said no, because you made it about yourself. And you said, well, I wouldn't feel sexy in that. It's not about you feeling sexy.

Okay, okay, let me. Okay, I have you rethought your.

Your answer?

I guess I have because we've talked about over the years. I mean, okay, if I'm in. Am I in love with this guy or is it our third date?

Yes. Head over heels in love.

I'm head over heels.

I know. You don't know what that feeling is.

Like I've been head over heels in love.

Just imagine. You Found like the most. The strongest drug on the planet and then that's. That's what it feels like.

Okay. Are you head over heels in love right now?

Am I head over heels? I. I'm in love, yeah. Am I head over heels in love? I think that kind of happens when you first meet somebody.

Oh, no, it's supposed to continue and get deeper. It's supposed to get deeper, deeper, deeper. Okay, so the Hamburglar, if it wasn't too hot of a suit, I guess. Okay. I'm thinking of me all in that fur, the hamburger with the mask. I mean, honestly, if that. If I love my guy and I'm head over heels in love with him and he's like, you know what, babe? This is really gonna turn me on. But there's like, I guess I, I would, I, I might do it. Depends on the guy. And if I'm head over heels in love, I would do anything for him. So I've changed my mind. How's that menace? I've come around. See, people can change. People can change, but I'm not psyched about it. I might say, can we make a sexy Hamburglar? Like, can we make it into like a little skirt or something? I might try to sex it up.

A little because the Hamburg, you. It's not about you.

I know, but how am I going.

To get to do something for.

Am I gonna be like, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, or whatever weird noises the hamburg makes, like, oh, gobble. Doesn't he, like just like mumble or garble? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I'm gonna do the sound effects, but I, I mean, you know, if you love someone, this is like, this is a good lesson. It doesn't have to be a crazy Hamburglar fetish, but if you really love your partner, rather than freaking out because they're surfing porn all the time and masturbating without you, rather than they have some weird fetish or they check out other women. Talk to your partner about this stuff. Communicate about your sex life. It is going to be there. If you've committed to your partner for life, you need to make communicating about your sex life the most important thing that you. One of the most important things that you do. You talk about everything else but your sex life. So talk about it, figure out how to work around it, whatever turned you guys both on, and you'll both be really happy. Because life is too short to have a sex life that is non communicative and not what you want. Because that's what my show is about. All these people are suffering, not getting what they want, bad. And I'm trying to help you all. So just talk to your partner about it. And then if you find out, you know what they're not into, what I'm into, and that's a deal breaker. We'll find out. Now, people. How many people get married and they're like, well, we never really had a great connection. Well, I have a higher sex drive than she does. That stuff doesn't change people. No one changes. So if you're engaged right now and you're like, well, when we get married, she'll start giving me more blowjobs. Uh, no, she's not going to give you more blowjobs when you get married. That's not going to happen. So stop telling yourself stories.

Oh, here's another thing I got to. Here's another thing I got to bring up, because I have a friend getting married in a few weeks. And you have. You have never really ever lived with somebody that you've dated before, right?

Anybody that I've ever. What?

That you've dated.

I've never been with anybody.

You never. You never lived with somebody that.

I've never lived with anybody that I've dated?

No, never. She is getting married in two weeks, and she's never lived with her fiance.

Really?

And. And she says, I don't think I'm gonna move in with him right away after we get married. I'm like, what is wrong with you? She's like, I don't know. I kind of like my own space. Wow, you're freaking crazy. And I'm thinking, wait a minute, this reminds me of somebody else.

Well, I gotta tell you, I just met a guy.

Emily Morris.

Yeah. I think that couples who don't live. I mean, I think this is going to be a trend. I believe that. I mean, it's great to live with your partner. But the number one killer of sex drive is when people are told, we move in together, we become one. We share everything. You see them brushing their teeth, going to the bathroom every day. That is not conducive to hot sex. That's not conducive to keeping the romance alive. So maybe what's the rush to live with someone? I mean, I feel like I just met a guy recently who's been married for, like, 10 years, and he's moving out because he's like, you know what? I think we're better off in separate places for now. They're not separating. Things are great. But they're just having separate pads. I think that's a good idea, but I wouldn't purport it for everybody. Not every couple who lives together is having not great sex. A lot of couples live together, and it's great. But a lot of couples live together. They drive each other insane. They don't have sex anymore. They become best friends. He's farting, she's plucking her eyebrows or whatever. I mean, not that plucking eyebrows is bad, but you're doing everything in front of each other and automatically that person that you were so hot for and so hot and heavy, and you wanted to rip their clothes off when you walk in the door, you walk in, she's got a face mask on wearing, you know, her sweatpants for the last three days. And you might not that find that attractive. So if you are living with someone, make the effort to always keep it hot or, you know, try to take some time away from each other. Get stuff at apartments. I love your friend that she's doing this. That's amazing.

I know you would.

I don't know. I think it just works for some people.

Has your. Has your mom and your brother given up on hope of you getting married?

I don't think that they've given up hope. No. I do not think that my mom and brother. I don't think that they. They know that that's never been a priority for me to get married and live with someone. So, no, they haven't given up hope. They're. They don't. They don't care. They actually don't care. They just want me to be happy and not too crazy.

Not too crazy. Well, no guarantees.

No guarantees there. Oh, menace. Also and everyone listening, I'm gonna be on the Kris Jenner show, her new talk show on God, I think it's airing on Wednesday, the 21st. So August 21st. I'm filming it on Monday. So everyone check that out on the 20th.

I want to be there again.

I'm filming it on the 19th.

Monday, the 19th. Yeah, I want to be there.

You should come. For reals, dude. Come email me, call me.

What time?

I don't know. I think it's all day. I don't know. I think. Okay, work it out. Okay, this is our last question. Embarrassing sex questions. I have a really high or low sex drive that is different than other people's sex drives. How do I get around this? So this is what we were just talking about with couples. If you have a high sex drive, first of all, masturbating every day or even multiple times a day, which I get asked all the time, is completely normal. Don't feel bad. Thinking about sex often is completely normal and should not be seen as a problem unless it gets in the way and harms other aspects of your life. Like you're going in late for work, you never show up for your relationship, you kept missing appointments. So if you have a high sex drive, you can engage your body in lots of exercise. Try yoga. Keep your body busy and active so you don't feel physically frustrated from not having sex. You can also pursue non sexual relationships with people. So try to be friends with people that you don't want to bang. You can still have satisfying relationships without sexual and you could abstain from alcohol and drugs, especially if you feel they lower your inhibitions and you might do something that you regret. So if you have a low sex drive, this might be something also that you want to talk to your doctor about. A lot of times there's certain medications, antidepressants, blood pressure medication. Like if it used to be like higher and now it feels really low, I would first, as always, get checked out by your doctor and see what is going on. You could also there's certain food you can eat, there's certain supplements you can eat and you just might not be as high of a sex drive as someone else. There is nothing wrong with that. You just might need to find a partner that's okay with having sex, whatever it is, one time a week or one time a month. But first, again, a lot of it can do with like your, your, your body. So you would, you should get checked out. So that's what I got to say about all that Menace. That's what I got for you today and good. Yeah. And I want to say to everyone, follow me on Twitter because I am going to be doing lots of really cool giveaways and I'm always doing fun tweets because I want to help you with your sex life. So it's at Sex with Emily. Instagram is Sex with Emily like me on Facebook. Sex with Emily. Check out my podcast, all that stuff. What about you, Menace?

I want you to download Sitcher S T I T C H E R because I use their studio every week in San Francisco. It's entirely free app to listen to this show and many shows. All you got to do is type in Sex on the app. Stitcher. Once again. Download it for your, your tablet, your iPhone or your Android phone and you'll enjoy it.

You'll enjoy it. Stitcher's awesome. And also I have an iPhone app called Kaggle Camp and I'm telling you it's for men and for women, it's your Kaggle exercises. It's my voice walking you through it. Dr. Drew is doing Kaggle Camp with me every not with me, but my app. And I'm telling you there's more men doing it. My friend just emailed me. He's like, I'm on level seven. There's 20 levels and it'll make you have stronger orgasms, it'll help you last longer and it's five minutes a day and you can go through 20 levels. And he's like, I can frigging crack walnuts with my PC muscles now. So it's those P stopping muscles. Check out Kaggle Camp. It's amazing. And I love everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. So I love you Menace. Come down and see me. And I hope that everyone keeps checking out our shows and go to itunes and review it and talk about how much you love it. And I've got more, more shows coming, more videos, lots of exciting stuff. Sign up on my website, saxwithemily.com Put your name there, get the free report 5 Biggest Mistakes yous're Making In Bed. That's what I got for you. Happy, happy day everyone. Thanks Menace. And thanks thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because.

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