7 Dec 2025 · 49 min
Emily Morse and Anderson explore how teasing and anticipation heighten pleasure in relationships. They cover practical techniques like eye contact, whispered promises, subtle touches, and sensory deprivation to keep desire alive in both new and long-term partnerships.
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Thanks for listening to this episode of Sex with Emily. You know what? Anticipation is a huge part of what turns good sex into mind blowing sex. How many times has the build up to sex with your partner been as good, if not better than the sex itself? Tonight's show is all about the art of the tease. But first, thank you so much for supporting my sponsors. And one of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people@goodvibes.com they carry the best sex toy brands that you don't have to mess around with. Like toys that you're not gonna like or that are gonna fall apart. They're all body safe materials and they have everything. So if you go to my website, sexelmy.com, you click on the Good Vibes banner. I've got a store there and you can see all my favorite toys that I've tried. If you want couple toys or clitoris toys or you wanna find your G spot, you'll love it. You can try the Dahlia. You can try the new rabbit habit, which is like, get ready or old rabbit, if you have one. And so also the magic wand.
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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh my. Women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?
Oh my God, I feel so good.
Being bad feels pretty good, but you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. So for more information, go to sexwithemily.com and we're gonna have a new website coming soon, which is super exciting because you'll be able to like, see all the pod. I have so much material on the website that it's always easy to tell what we have. So soon you're gonna be able to see everything. We do have hundreds of podcasts. You gotta sign up for my mailing list because like I said, do give good email and check all that out. Also, I love getting your emails. As you know, I answer them on every show. Any question you have, best to keep it short and sweet, email me feedbackexwithemily.com cause I love that. And I'm here with Anderson tonight.
Yes, you are, Anderson.
I kind of have a beef to pick with you.
Oh, no, not a beef. Guys, she's blindsided me because we've talked before the program. We've been together for, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes now.
Yeah, well, it's not really a beef.
No beef.
It's not really a beef. It's not a beef for real. But. Okay, here's the thing. I always talk about your podcast.
Oh, no. I know what this is about. Oh, no, no.
I always talk about Film Vault. You have two podcasts and I've listened to both and they're but you're like, no, after Disaster, I'm not gonna. We don't have to talk about that. But After Disaster is really hilarious.
It's pretty legit. I agree. I love that show.
And you're so good on it.
So, Aniston, I hate to admit it, but I listened to that show three months behind, and it's like a whole new show to me. Even though I'm one of the voices on it. I don't remember it. And it's one of my favorite podcasts. I know that's awful to admit.
Which one? The one that I listen to.
The After Disaster? No, just the show itself. Yeah.
Yeah.
I listen to about 10 podcasts, and that's ashamedly one of them.
Right. Well, I mean, you know what? I never listen to my show, which I think is actually good for, like, increasing your talent and stuff. I don't know. But anyway, so Anderson texts me a link. He's like, check this out. I talk about how great you are.
Because last week when we parted ways, I was telling you, I guess what I say about you. Right.
I don't know.
Yeah, we were talking about how I say what I think. And I always say things. The same things to people's faces I say behind their back so I can get away with it.
Right. You're like, in fact. And then you text me later that.
Night, like, on my way home, I was listening to a random episode of the app Disaster, and you're like, oh.
Hey, check this out. I say, you're going great here. So I listened to it, but it was like the episode itunes mess.
Yeah, I listened to the whole show.
And it was really good. But then you're like, here's the real link. So then I listened to it, and the beef is. No, no, I'm kidding. You're like, really? The first beef is that you don't promote After Disaster enough because it's awesome. But the other one is that you're like, emily's great. No, she's great. I mean, she's crazy.
Yeah, I did put a little emphasis on the crazy part.
I mean, like, a really loud emphasis on crazy. And it's so funny because I was listening to it as I was driving to San Diego with my assistant. And I don't think that maybe she doesn't think I'm crazy yet. But she was kind of like, are you offended by that? I'm like, no, I really wasn't.
And I'm the one who pointed it out and sent it to you. It's not like somebody else said, hey, listen to what Anderson said about you.
But you did say, my podcast is known for a lot of porn star guests, which I don't like. Cause it's only been the last few months.
Well, since I've been involved, we're not.
Doing any more porn stars.
I might have aged from working on.
Your show, but you've learned a lot. But we are gonna have a lot of super interesting guests. Coming up. A sex surrogate. Things that are just like more in the sex world.
I learned. Listen, I've been working on loveline for over 15 years now, and I definitely learned things on your program here, so. And that's the honest goodness truth.
Never learned in other Loveline.
Yeah. And I listen to Loveline 10 hours a week. It's my job for 15 years. And I've learned things here that I can actually apply in the old bedroom. Yeah.
You're not gonna tell me what one is.
But you know what? I had some misgivings after I sent you a link, giving you the timestamp of that particular episode where I talked about you, frankly, and I'm like, maybe I shouldn't have.
No, I loved it. You know what? I'm just. I'm actually teasing you because I love.
Our relationship, that you can be like.
She'S crazy, but she's awesome, and I love her. And it was a funny story about the guest who was leaving and that you stuck your finger.
Oh, yeah. Completely offended.
I loved it. And Anderson, I don't get offended by that at all. I'm just kidding.
You're crazy in the best.
In the best way. You're like, crazy in the best way.
You wouldn't have a show if you weren't crazy.
Exactly. Everyone's a little. And everyone's a little nutty. And you are not, like, the epitome of insanity.
Therapy would do me tons of good.
You've never had therapy. Everyone needs therapy. I don't understand, like.
Well, I've told you, I think my dad's a therapist, and I have no respect for the man.
It's so funny that people whose parents are therapists are the most against it.
I think that whole Running with Scissors book is all about a kid with two parents who are therapists.
And I think no matter who you are, no matter what, your parents are therapists, that it just. In your life, it just helps to go to therapy. And it's not a lifelong thing. You go for a few months, you go for six months. Maybe you go back. I mean, the way I was raised, that is like a lifelong process because my parents, like, threw me into therapy when I was, like, 10 when they first got divorced, and then again at 20 when my dad died, and then again at 30 what? At 30, I went again.
When you turn 30, you're gonna have to go to therapy again.
Exactly. When turn 30, I'm go again. Which would be crazy. No, but I just think, you know, in life, certain things come and go and you might need things to work on. And I'm just always amazed that in this day and age, people don't realize the benefits of therapy. And the other thing I want to say about that is that a lot of people have bad experiences. Just like the anal sex experience that we talk about. They think they hate analysis. And I'm like, someone did it really poorly without lube. Just like therapists, you need to shop around. There's not always. You're not gonna love every therapist. I love how I just tied anal sex into therapy. But if you had a bad experience with a therapist, don't let that write you off the whole process because they're human and they're not all great.
Next time you see your therapist, why don't you bring that up, the anal sex part of the fact that you, that you. Yeah, see, what she says has to say about that.
I'm just trying to speak to my people here, say that.
I use an analogy. And I put therapy up against anal sex. What does that say about me?
I always do. I was. I gotta throw in a little anal sex. So anyway, I just think that. And there's a lot of couples that call in and they're like, my husband won't or my wife won't. And I'm just telling you that I've never heard anybody complain that therapy messed them up. Okay. Just makes them better. So anyway, another exciting thing is that on Thursday nights now, you can listen to my show and watch it live streaming. 8:30 to 9:30 Pacific Standard Time. You can watch it, which is very exciting because like I said above, guests, you can watch me and Anderson because we're very interesting. And you can call in with your questions. I will answer them right away.
We're gonna have a topless guest on here eventually, right?
We have to.
Yeah. Now that we got the cameras up in here.
But then that turns me into like a webcam girl.
Yeah. But.
Yeah, I should start charging then. No, just kidding. 1-800-Love 191 is the number that you can call. And it's Thursday nights, so that'll be awesome. And then also, if you live in Los Angeles area, I'm going to be hosting. I'm going to be on a panel called beyond the Bedroom at the Body. Well, in West Hollywood, you're going to find information on my website. It's November 5th at 7:30 with Connor Habib who's been a guest on the show. He's really smart, he's a gay porn star, but he's also an amazing writer. And it's called what your doctor can't and won't tell you about sex. What it means to be sexually healthy outside the bedroom. It's like ten to twenty dollar donation. It's going to be an amazing event. Also I told you all about the sexual health Expo. I'm so excited. January 17th and 18th in Los Angeles and I'm giving away 25 tickets. So. And they're for good for two people. And the expo is super cool because it's the leading sex experts in the world, teaching workshops plus and the tickets are super reasonable too. They're like $25 or something and it's for two days and there's like a really fun party at night. There's an award show, all the latest toys and I'm gonna be there giving the keyNote speech. So. Feedbackextextwithemily.com why you want to go And I'll get your ticket and then also yeah, follow me, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, exwithemily, all those places. So tonight's show, Tonight's show is really important one because we are talking about teasing.
And I've brought this up in the past. I've done shows similar. I've done, you know, talked about teasing and I've done it with menace actually. And he's like ah, guys don't like teasing. We just want to get to the thing. But like I'm going to explain more in depth about teasing because. Oh, and I'm also getting into some of your emails because the thing about teasing is that everybody like slows up the process. Think about like when you first are in a relationship, it's like it's so exciting, like the newness and you can savor those moments and you like wait to have sex and like the buildup of it all and anticipation is part of the best part. And I'm not saying every single time, but we're going to talk about some tips to really make it hot most the time, if not all the time. But first, I've got a sex in the news story.
What I was gonna ask what you ladies, how you anticipate sex in the first time. Like if you got any concerns it might be different than dudes. So I think guys are just kind of like, can't wait till I banger. Can't wait till it happens. Can't wait till I get those pants off, you know? It's almost like they just need to get over the hump. They just want to. They wanted to. They just want to get it finished, you know?
That's a great question.
Yeah. What do the ladies think?
I mean, I think the first time I'm thinking, I hope he's good. I hope he doesn't rush.
Right.
What does that mean? No jackhammer. What else?
I hope that he performs some foreplay. Because the guys that go straight to just, like, taking off my pants drives me crazy. I feel like guys used to play with your breasts and undress you and just make it just sensual. And I feel like most guys are just, like, unzipping your pants and they just want to bone you right away. And we're not turned on. Just like what I always talk about. And you think that if you're with me that you might have listened to the show or knows thing, and you might just say, oh, foreplay. I've heard this before. So that's the thing I'm thinking about. And I'm also thinking, I hope he's good. What does that mean? That means that I don't know, there's a connection. And his penis feels good inside of my vagina, which most of them do. I would say I haven't had any penises that were like. That really hurts. It feels like, you know, a pear. Like a prickly bush or something.
Like a cat penis.
Like a cat penis. I'm also hoping that he cuddles. Cause I really like cuddling. And if a guy if, like, okay, so if I have sex with a guy and he. And not every woman feels this way. Or man. And he, like, just rolls over and falls asleep, I feel so alone and, like, abandoned and sad that I want to be cuddled.
Would it be better if he just left?
Yes. I leave sometimes I do leave.
Would it be better if he left or fell asleep? Which would you choose?
I'd rather have him leave. I'd rather say.
What about turn on Sports Center? Okay, A, Sports Center. B leaves, C falls asleep.
Well, turning on the TV is fine. As long as that in the bedroom.
As long as it's a company with a cuddle.
Does it have to be Sports Center?
I hate sports. In fact, the sound of men talking about sports on television drives me insane.
It's like you guys with your bags and your shoes. Okay, Same thing.
What do you mean? It's like nails on a chalkboard. Oh, did you see that one? Never saw that one. Let's talk about this throw one more time. Where the it is.
You guys are talking about your Gucci. We don't give a. I don't talk.
About clothes to guys, and guys shouldn't talk about sports to me unless I was a sport fanatic.
No, but when we hear you guys talking back and forth about it, it's like, ah, Jesus Christ, what are they talking about?
See, I don't do that with my women do. Really do. Like your wife.
She's like, oh, well, not my wife. My wife's perfect. But no, I hear other yentas, you know, going on and on like hens about. And it's the greatest deal on these pumps. Can you believe it? Oh, you should totally go. We'll go this weekend. It'll be so much fun.
No, it is true that women do that. I. I don't do that enough. I should. I need to go shopping more. But, yes, women do that, and it's boring. And guys, here's another thing, guys. There's certain things they just don't want to hear about. Like, I. Again, this goes back to keeping some things a mystery in the relationship, which is also what keeps sex interesting and alive. Your partner doesn't have to know every single thing about your life. He doesn't. You don't need to break down your entire day about what happened when you got to work and the person you hate in the cubicle next to you and the talk day with your boss and what, you had the chicken chow mein for lunch, right, Anderson? Like, do you really want to hear all those details?
No. I married a good one. She doesn't really talk much about work unless if she does bring something up, I know it's really bothering, and it's usually some pretty good juicy drama if it gets to the point where she has to bring it up. But yeah, I've dated girls who do that. And one of my big pet peeves, if you are dating a guy and you do have to tell him about every goddamn cubicle instance that happens during the day, don't just lay out a bunch of names. And then Roger came over to Sally, and she's all like. And you know how Travis is, right? We don't. We don't know any of the people in your stupid office. So just say him and her, please.
Okay. Exactly. Oh, here's one more thing. An interesting fact. I want you all to try this this week. Whenever you're on the street, walking around, there's a group of people listening. You could be at A bar. You could be sitting at a restaurant. You could just be walking. Like, if you're in a major city, I guarantee you, if there are two women talking, they are talking about another woman or something else that happened at work. And they're telling, I can't believe she did that. Did she really do that? I can't. And someone told me this once. I was like, that's. That's like misogynistic. Women have other things to talk about. But I swear to God, most women are like, yeah, she did. Like, she did what he said and. Or they're talking about the guys. They're talking about like, he never called me. He text. He didn't text you after that. You know, it's just funny. That's what women do. And I think, guys, what do you guys talk about?
Sports.
It's so freaking true.
Or we talk about, like, anatomy.
What do you mean anatomy? Your penises.
No other, you know, female.
Oh, like, look at that ass.
I'm not a good example at all. But I. You know, what guys stereotypically talk about is, yeah, sports, of course.
But it's not like politics.
Guys love talking politics.
Yeah, yeah, but they're not talking about, like, their friends. Like last night, Bobby was going to come over and play basketball.
No, you guys are like really into relationships and are working relationships.
That's a woman thing. So it's not so bad. I'm just saying just notice it just for fun. Okay, so real quick, we're going to do. I found this interesting little sex in the news. There's a survey and people like having sex at the airport. Not in. Not like in the Mile High Club, but at the airport. So few things boost the libido like going on vacation. Maybe it's the excitement of new surroundings or the relief of leaving all your stress behind. People simply like having sex while on holiday. So they, they there. There are some surveys that suggest that people traveling alone are more likely to engage in casual sex, which I think is actually true. I think a lot of affairs happen, unfortunately. But I think even for me, when I've traveled casually, sex. When I traveled alone or traveled to places, I kind of feel freer sexually. I might never see this person or his way. And you just are more open. You're like drinking tequila. So. But these are people who get to the airport because they're so goddamn excited about their trip that they have sex with their couples. So couples are well known to get frisky by traveling. It says the results of their poll, 2500 Britons revealed that 10% of people have sex with a travel partner in the airport. So they can't even wait for the Mile High Club. And here's where they do it. In the bathrooms. Gross. 76% have done in the bathroom, which they're always cleaning the bathrooms, too, so you gotta get caught. 21% decide to risk it all in the storage areas, and 12% of them were actually caught by staff or other travelers. When asked why they had sex at the airport, the most popular answer was because they were caught in the holiday spirit. Others said it was a thrill of getting caught in public. I've never once wanted to have sex in a dirty airport, have you. Tell me if you have.
I'm a guy, so I've wanted to have sex anywhere.
That's true. Okay, good point. I mean, it just amazes me, people with their sexual proclivities. But I guess, you know, if you have flight delay, you know, maybe I'd find something.
It's a good way to kill time. You know what? You said something last week on Loveline, and it killed in this room, on this side of the glass.
Okay.
And we laughed. Everyone was laughing. It was one of the funnier things I've ever heard you say. And I think it kind of like just slipped by in there. And you were talking about how it's never really a bad idea to have sex if you got two consensual adults in a room. It's never. You're right. And you're using an example. You said it's never like you ever have sex. And you're like, oh, that was terrible. I wish I was reading a book. I wish I just spent time reading a book instead. It was very funny the way that you phrased it. It's true. I thought about it. It's like, yeah, do you ever finish sex? And you're like, what a waste of time that was.
No. You're like, oh, okay. Yeah.
Do that with movies all the time. You do that with books.
You do so many things like movies, books, hanging out with a friend who sucks, but sucks. And I was saying, it's funny. I'm glad I was funny.
But we all laughed. Okay.
I love it when you laugh. But I think the thing is that what we were saying to that caller was that so many. Again, this is probably our most popular call that we ever get. And question is, like, what do I do? My wife, my partner, she doesn't want to have sex as often as I do. And it was like, you have to compromise on your Relationship. Because you just can't say no to sex for months and months because you need that intimacy. People don't realize it. It's not like you could put it on the back burner for months because people, that's actually what connects you. It's biology and you need it. So I was saying, for women, it's like going to the gym. It's like you put your shoes on and you're never like, oh, why did I go to the gym? So I was saying, like your sex, Just do it, okay? Make a compromise. Just have it, you'll be fine. And then you could turn on whatever you want with television or fall asleep.
Or roll over or leave.
Or leave.
So that's what I think about that. Oh, I'm glad. Okay, so anyway, this is our topic, Teasing.
You've been teasing it all, all episode.
What do you think about teasing? Like, do you know what I mean by that? Does it make you annoyed? Like, really more foreplay? Cause there's more to it. But like, when I say teasing, you.
Know, I don't know. Let's continue. Let's go further down.
I love it. Okay. I just think that teasing gets a bad rap because, like, first of all, all your life you're told, like, teasing is a bad thing. Like, as far as like teasing a friend or teasing someone, don't make fun of them. But teasing in sex is like the best thing since sex, actually. So teasing is the best way to start something kind of steamy. You savor that suspense, the excitement, and you know all those, like when you first start dating somebody and it's those moments leading up to it, like we were talking about the anticipation. Like those delicious moments where you're like, the first date, you make out and then he touches your breasts and the next time, like, you know you're gonna have sex or whatever it is, wait a month, two months. And it's like that. Savoring the anticipation, the sexual tension. That's what makes sex so great. And then I think people in long term relationships think they can't get that back and they miss it. And they're like, we just bang. We come home, we do our thing, we say, but this is what keeps it going. And you can actually make this happen if you're in a long term relationship or a new one. Because I feel like people are sort of choosing between, like, the grass is always greener. Like, I'm in a relationship, it's. Or I'm married and I love my partner and we're gonna be together forever. But I never get to have that newness, that excitement, that thrill, you know, and then people are like, me, single, I get all the time. But it looks lovely sometimes to be married and have that person to come home to, to fall asleep after sex. But they better cuddle. So anyway, I'm just gonna give you some tips here about how to, you know, I love.
Now that we've talked about a little bit more, I can tell you I love teasing. I don't like to be teased.
No, you don't.
No, I love to. I love to take, you know, the other person, like, to the verge and, like, in a mess with, you know, and I can prolong it and, you know, go everywhere but that spot that they want, that's it. I like that. But I. I can't say that I really enjoy it being done to me that much.
Okay, that's interesting. And I've heard that from men, too, so I've heard a lot of men say, like, no, just go for my picture.
Pretty much, yeah. Putting the steak under my nose and then taking.
Yeah, you're just annoyed. You're like, just give me a blowjob now. Don't, like, just, like, go near. But for women, you're right, you. And this is the best way. First of all, women will have more orgasms this way because you're turning them on all over. The ideal situation always is that you want her begging for that you to touch that spot. Like, if you put, like, nose down in the clitoris right away, mouth down, it's not going to feel good ever. So the ideal, again, is her begging. So you want her to be like, I can't take it anymore. I just want you to have it. So that is the art of teasing. You got to draw it out as long as you can. It's like, you know, the best thing in life comes to those who wait. And I think that is all about the tease and the beauty of teasing again for men who are like, ugh, I'm so tired of the foreplay. I think I got an email about that today. Some guy's like, I'm just tired. I can't wait 40 minutes. I get exhausted and my penis gets limp. The best thing is that when you amplify the buildup, you're gonna ensure a greater climax for both of you. Definitely for her. And she's more likely to orgasm. And it helps you slow down. I always tell people that sex is all about. A lot of it is about slowing down, that we move so fast so you can enjoy the Journey of sex rather than just the destination. And there are many people in the sex world, sex experts, sex, whatever that say, you know, shouldn't be all about the orgasm. And I believe that. I believe that we are so orgasm focused. And I talk about it a lot, but really the whole sensual part of it can be very exciting. So teasing is something that starts by before you even get to the bedroom. So let's say you're out to dinner, you're on a date with your partner, little footsie, little footsie, little something, something. It can be, yeah, a little footsie at dinner. You can be just talking about sex at dinner. Or you could just be like, God, you know, I keep thinking about last time we were together. That felt, that was so much fun. The way we had sex in your living room or whatever it is. You could drop little hints on the car way home. You can start touching them or massaging. You can start rubbing her leg pretty much anywhere. And any the mood strikes you. You can even start sending the sexy, sexy texts before the evening or even the next day after you have sex. Like I always say that sex starts, foreplay starts after last orgasm. And you know what bums me out? When I have sex with a guy for the first time or second and they don't.
What's that?
I want, I want them to. And I had this in college too. I got really mad at my college. This guy in college, he was a friends with benefit guy. But still I want like a text or a call. Not a call. No one calls. But just be like, that was great last night. But if you have sex with someone for the first time and you actually like them, I don't know if guys are waiting three days still. Cause it's frigging idiotic if you have sex with someone. This is a chick thing, maybe, but I just wanted that would check in, you know. That was fun. I liked it.
We connected carnally the next day within a 24 hour period. You better like come back. Kind of like when a waitress drops off your lunch, they should always swoop back after five minutes, make sure everything's cool.
And how pissed are we when they don't? Cause you're like, I need ketchup. I've not touched my fries and they're cold. So why didn't you come back?
I guess you'd call up the next day and be like, how was it last night? Good.
Yeah.
Next time let's do it this way.
And my analogy is if you sweep back three days later, it's cold.
Yeah. It's cold. And you're obviously just coming back to the well because you need to get off again. It's rude.
So just say and then. So I remember in college I was dating this guy for like a year and then we had a friends with benefits thing. Oh no, maybe I don't remember. Yeah, and then we slept together for the first time in like a year or since, whatever. And he didn't call me in this. And I remember saying to him, like I was mad at him at the bar. I was like, I can't, I just want to call. I just, you know, and it's funny because it was a long time ago, but I guess I still feel that way. So anyway, I feel that way.
I get it. I get what you're saying. It's like if you're going to go that far, you're going to be that far physically with somebody. You should be there emotionally as well. At least for the refractory period. At least for like a 24 hour period.
Yeah. It's okay if you never text me again. Never text me again. But your penis was in my vagina.
So for 24 hours. You guys are a kindred. Kindred spirit.
I invited your penis into my vagina and the least you could do is say you had a good friggin time.
Like later. Not, not like five minutes later. And then you're off.
Five minutes later is great too. During our cuddle.
But like the. Okay after the little cuddle there. But then like the following day. You want them to reach out as well? Yeah. Before the 24 hour period. Yes, I can. I. I think that's reasonable.
Thank you. I think so too.
And if you don't, if a guy doesn't. Emily. There's some guilt. I think there might, there might be some guilt. He didn't like he did a wrong. He didn't do it. Maybe he shouldn't have. Maybe it was a mistake and he just did it in the heat of the moment. Now he doesn't know how to approach.
Because whenever I have sex with people, they always tell me it's the best sex.
I'm not talking about you necessarily. I'm talking about.
Oh, sorry, it's not about me. You're right. Or they might not be that into him like that book. He's just not that into you.
That's a message. Girls. If he's not calling you back within 24 hours.
Oh my God, it's a message. I have so much to say about that. Actually. He's not that into And a little bit more about teasing. But first a word from our sponsors who I love. Oh, I have to tell you this, Anderson, speaking of our sponsors. So I've been feeling lately like I'm just friggin exhausted and as you can see, very stressed out sometimes. Not right now.
Seems totally fine. Tonight.
No, tonight I actually am fine, but I just feel like I need to hit the reset button on my body. I don't know if you ever feel like that. Like I just need to start over and be healthy. I've been feeling sluggish, tired and even when I sleep 10 hours a night. And I have actually learned that you can be weighed down by up to 25 pounds of toxic oil waste cooped up in your vital organs. So I'm actually doing this new cleanse which I love because you don't have to starve yourself. You can eat well on the cleanse. It just has all the benefits I need in my life right now. And it's called D Herbs and I'm on their full body cleanse and I just started it, which turns out to be the number one selling cleanse online over the past 10 years. Which I'm glad because I did heavy research into this and it's not some crazy concoction of like the lemon juice and the cayenne pepper. Did you ever do that, the lemon juice, cayenne pepper thing? I did it. They're like, drink this for 10 days. Like I did it like before Burning man when I wanted to be like super skinny. And then you're just starved and eat everything inside. This is like doctor tested, approved and I've got, you know.
Oh, what's it called?
It's called D herbs. D H E R B S. If.
You'Re English, it's D herbs to herbs or herbs.
Right, Herbs. They say herbs in English. But so I'm doing this cleanse which actually everyone in my office is doing now because I thought we should do it all together and it has all the benefits I need. I found them, like I said online. So everyone in my office is doing it, which is kind of fun. But we have to like get rid of some things in the office like chocolate cookies and it only takes 20 days. You flush out all your toxins and you have more energy and if you want to lose weight, you will lose weight. So it's a full body cleanse and you'll be done before you'll know, before you even know it, you'll be done. 20 days is nothing.
20 days.
I could do anything for 20 days and you'll be in a better position for long term health.
What's it entail?
Okay, so you take like, they send you this box of pills and you take the different pills every day. Like it's like a series of them that do cleansing for you. That's it.
I can take pills?
You have to cut out. They suggest you cut out caffeine, some sugars, stuff like that. The basic things that you want to cut out. If you go on a diet, you.
Should be doing that anyway.
But diets don't work. And this works because I know people have done cleanses and they're like, and I read about this too, the testimony. It's not like a BS testimonial, but you actually do feel better. Improves your health. You're clear, your skin, the whole thing. So I just say, get clean and lean with me. Do it with me. So go to dherbs.com, the letter D, H, E, R, B, S dot com, check it out, type in promo code Emily and get a discount today. And it's only for my listeners. That's dherbsareherbs.com. you can also call 8664D Herbs and.
You will have started this by the next episode.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just starting it by the next episode. So I'm going to like. And then my people in my office, my team, we're going to come in and talk about how we're feeling. I just thought it'd be a fun thing. Oh, do you want me to get you a bottle?
Yeah.
Seriously?
Serious.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, no, you could do it too. No, seriously, dude, you. Okay. I would love that. Also, Fleshlight. Sorry, I'm so freaking excited about it. Okay, so Fleshlight, it's the number one sex toy for men, as you know. Can you even name another sex toy that makes half as much sense as using a Fleshlight? It's a male masturbation sleeve. I know you've got your hand. I know your hands are working for you, but what if I told you that you could experience something that's like, feels just like sex and not like your hand and it's a different sensation. I mean, I know that I have 60 vibrators and each one gives me orgasms and makes me feel different and I just feel like it's. Men are sort of cheated out of this experience. They don't get to feel it. So what I'm saying to you is you gotta check out a Fleshlight. You'll have some of the Most mind blowing orgasms of your life. Again, no guy's ever said to me, why'd you give me that? They've all said they love it. And, and so I also want to say they're offering this new thing for my listeners for a limited time. If you go to my website and you click on the Fleshlight banner, you get their award winning flesh lube, which the lube is awesome to use with the Fleshlight, so check it out. Go to sex with emily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner and put in code, Emily. Get the lube, get the flashlight, change your life, have more orgasms, have a good time. Let me know about it. Okay, back to teasing.
You tease that across the break.
Thank you. I'm a natural. Some things you might not know. I'm gonna tell you how to do it. You have to remember that when you tease the pre seduction part, it's all about the pre, right? So you have a little eye contact. You can communicate your sexy thoughts. If you're sitting across some dinner, you can talk about, you know, what you want to do. You can lightly start touching, caressing your partner to send those like subtle messages and seductively whisper in their ear, letting them know what you're gonna do later. And that might sound kind of cheesy to people, like, but first of all, I love when a man whispers in my ear, kisses my ear, kisses my neck. It's a really. One of the top erogenous zones for women is their neck and their ear. I don't know about men, but do you like having your neck kissed or rubbed or stroked or anything?
Yeah, I like any kind of contact for the most part.
Okay.
See, just stay away from my stomach, okay?
Okay, good to know. And I feel like again, these are all things that fall by the wayside. Like your first dating guy, he kisses your neck, your chest, he slows everything down and they just freaking stop. And whenever a guy does that now I'm like, ugh, I feel so good. Like, I try to reinforce it, but they still don't do it enough. So, you know, whisper words. We love words. Women turns us on.
You know what it, it's because it's like the combination to the safe. And then once they memorize the, the components, they just kind of bypass it.
You know, they do bypass it. They're like, okay, I know they were given orgasm.
Like at first they got the stethoscope out, they got their, you know, their ear. Their ears are up to it. They're doing it real slow, trying to figure out Exact numbers. Once they learn the numbers, they just. They don't even necessarily push them or even look while they're pushing them. They just get. Get in.
Exactly. And it's annoying because again, women. And again, I'm not saying every time you're like, time. And sometimes we have a quickie, nothing or the quickie, and this could all take 10 minutes. But I'm telling you, it will be more. She'll be more likely to be pleased. Relaxed. It also relaxes us because stress is one of the biggest killers of people's sex drive for men and for women. So if we're all stressed out, that's how we might turn you down for sex too. Because we're just like, I'm not ready. You've got a boner. I'm tired. You know, so if you just start this stuff all day, you're more likely to have sex.
And also, I always say, like, something I've noticed in relationships is like, what happened to the slowly undressing? Like, I feel like it's so sexy to slowly take off clothes and to admire our lingerie. Even though what I found is that men aren't that into lingerie, they just want it off.
Oh, yeah. I've gotten in trouble.
And I'm not even saying I'm wearing like matching. And I went out and bought it special. But like the feeling of fabric. I'm like touching my breasts right now. The feeling of fabric over our, like, breasts or our vagina. I don't love that.
What do you, what do you, what do you use for the word there?
I don't know, I gotta be. This is a terrible thing to say as a doctor of sex that I don't like the word vagina.
So what do you.
What do you call over my panties? Rub over my panties? I don't like their panties.
Rub over my vulva. That's another word. It's a. Vulva is a technical word. And in fact, in sex school they don't say vagina, they say vulva.
So where's the baby come out of? The vulva?
No, the vagina. But no one says vulva. So anyway, the vagina, when you rub fabric over it. Like, I remember actually being turned on for the time. First. First time with a guy in my parents living room when I was like 17. My high school boyfriend that I lost my virginity to before we had sex. I remember him rubbing me over my pink satin underwear. And I remember for the first time feeling turned on down there. Like feeling like I could have an orgasm and so the fabric just feels for a lot of women. I mean, if it doesn't, let me know. But just when you lightly touch over that, it feels great.
Wait a minute.
What?
You didn't know you could feel good? Oh, you might have. No one had the idea of it. But you didn't actually experience until you're with someone else.
Well, I didn't rub myself through my underwear. I didn't masturbate till I was 19.
Like, the first time you had like a sexual feeling there was another person in the room there with you doing it to you?
Yeah. No, the first time that someone rubbed my over my underwear, that I had a sexual feeling.
That is so weird.
Why?
Because we all get to as guys, we all get to ourselves long before you guys are.
You guys are so lucky. You guys have boners at first. Like when you're five. I get it. But for women, they don't. So again, it was the teasing. He was lingering over it. Sometimes you just leave the underwear on. That feels good. You just move it aside. That's really hot. So, you know, again, we all have the tendency to tear the clothes off. And I just think you don't need to. And then when you're, you know, completely naked, there's just one thing left to do and that's have sex. So just take the time. Linger in your lingerie, linger in your clothing for a little bit. Also, you know, take time to appreciate how your partner looks partially clothed and again, enjoy the fabric. And men might not be as into this. You know, just undress her at first. If you're into it, have her undress you. Okay, so here's the lick. Kissing. I gotta talk about kissing. Kissing is one of the first things that falls by the wayside in relationships. In long term relationships. We all have heavy makeout sessions in the beginning, which turns us on. And then eventually you stop kissing. Like the makeup, the heavy makeup. Do you find that to be true and you don't talk about your wife? But in relationships in the past, yeah.
Kissing is one of the first things to go.
It goes.
Kissing's the first thing you do. And it's first thing you do first move. Yeah.
But it connects you.
But you know, as long as you keep up the pecs, I think.
No, no open mouth kisses.
Oh, you gotta do the French stuff.
You gotta do the open mouth kiss. Yeah, you do. You really do. So make the most of your mouth. It's one of those like pre erotic sex activities that gets shuffled aside in this race we're talking about to Orgasm. So mix up your kissing techniques. You alternate between, like, soft kisses and light kisses and long, deep kisses with lots of tongue. I think the tongue is very important. A lot of people, like, leave their mouth closed. But I kind of like the tongue thing and. Yeah. Don't you think?
Yeah, listen, you're talking to somebody who's got an oral fixation. I constantly have something in my mouth, whether it's I'm smoking or, you know, a swizzle stick. I always got something drinking. But, you know, I've dated a number of women who don't have the same oral fixation I do. In fact, they kind of find anything in the mouth kind of yucky.
They don't want to kiss.
I mean, you know, they're not big on it. I've dated a few girls who don't, you know, they're not big fans of the. The tongue.
You know what? That's fine. There's someone for everyone. Like, if I was.
I'm just thinking of the ladies that are listening. They're like, totally. I get it. But I don't really like the. The mouth part.
I got it. And you must understand that everything I say in the show is not for everyone, because we're not nobody. No two people have the same exact sexual desires. So you might hate kissing. You might hate your lingerie, being touched through your underwear on your vulva. That's fine. I'm just giving suggestions here. And one of these might hit you. So, you know, check it out also. So here's the thing about the kissing. You can bring your tongue into it and heat up other parts of your partner's body as well. As you slowly, playfully lick around the ears, neck, the erogenous zone, like I said.
Let your tongue kind of trail down her body to other erogenous zones. And then I always say, like, no teeth. I guess that's during blowjobs. But don't be afraid to use little nibbles to see how your partner responds. And then you can build up to harder pressure, like little nibbles on her stomach, her inner thighs as you get down there. And then the power of touch. The sexiest tea sessions are the ones that draw on all the senses. So here's the thing. When you remove one sense, like, for example, if you blindfold someone, all the other senses become heightened, which is like, why I always say you should experiment with a blindfold or, like a necktie, whatever you have. The less your partner can see, the more they feel, which makes every touch more pleasurable. And like, their Nerves go crazy. So, for example, let's say you just put a necktie. And I don't know if you'd be into this at all, but you put a necktie. Every part. You could do it with your girlfriend, wife, whoever. And if they don't know what comes next, you can use, like, a feather and rub it across them.
I was gonna bring up the feather.
Yeah.
I was gonna ask if you. If you like the feather.
I love the feather.
The feather's good.
And then there's those little balls on the chain. They look like those. What are they called? Those balls. Balls. Those silver balls that come down from a ch. I don't know. They're like chains that you get at a hardware store, but they're. I can't explain it.
I have no idea. Cold ball.
You put that over your pocket. Forget it.
Then. What, the balls?
Yeah, they're like these little ball things that they're like.
Oh, beads. Like you put dog dogs on. I know what you're talking about.
Like, the things, right, that can feel really good. You use different sensations over their body. Massage candles. That is a great time. Where the heat of the massage of the warm oil on their body, they'll be like, what? I mean, it feels just incredible. Then you give them massage, and then you can put an ice cube in your mouth and trail it down their back. I mean, these are all fun things you could do, especially if someone's blindfolded, because they won't again know what's coming next. And these are just ideas for things that you have around the house. And also, if you want to buy my candle. Emily and Tony Dot com.
The great candle. I love those candles.
Do you need another one?
I would love another one.
I have them in my trunk.
We should also specify as far as the feather goes. Don't just go out in the backyard and look for a nest. You should actually get one of the big black plume types.
No. Right. Get a big one. And they sell these kits, actually beginner bondage kits at Good Vibes. Again, if you click on the sex only banner, they have all. And it'll come with, like, a feather and a tickler and all these little things, little rubber things that just feel good. And it's. Again, it's really sexy. The best teases, again, are when you feel like you can't control it anymore and your partner is just, like, begging.
Like, desperate for it.
Desperate. So that's what guys have to say about teasing. Doesn't that make more sense? But I get that you might not Want it? Some guys might like it, though. Like, what about if a woman's giving you a blowjob? Right. And so would this bother you? So she. She's going down on you, Right. I hope that made you uncomfortable. She's kissing your stomach, Kissing your stomach. She goes down there, she puts.
Don't. Don't kiss my stomach. Leave my stomach alone.
Leave your stomach alone. Okay, but she's put your penis in her mouth and she, like, going at it and then she, like, stops. And then she, you know, starts kissing your inner thighs and she starts to give you a hand job maybe, or whatever.
That's good.
And then she goes back to the blowjob and really intensely and then she stops. Like, would that bother you?
That'd be okay. That'd be all right. Yeah.
Okay, so that's teasing as well.
Yeah. In fact, you know what? Yeah. I've experienced where, like, I could tell that they're. They're keeping me from finishing so that they can go longer and say, yeah, it's all right.
Okay, good. See? I'm so glad we figured this out. All right, so some emails from the people we have time for about.
I feel like we should take some missions from your listeners on different words for the vagina area and get you one that you're good with. I feel like we should do that and read them all.
Okay. We actually. Well, we don't have them now, but we just found them at some episode.
In the future because you, as far as I can tell, you don't have a good word that you feel comfortable using for the old vagina.
Next week we're gonna be talking about, like, we have, like, all these euphemisms for vagina that we just found. Hilarious. I love that you just said that because we were just talking about in the office like five minutes ago. Okay. That's so funny.
I don't like the word twat. I just want that to be known.
I won't say twat. I mean, what do you say? Like, pussy? I guess.
Pussy's terrible.
Well, that's like sex, like when you're, like, doing your own. Like when you're. When you're dirty talking pussy.
My mom taught me cunt was the best one to use when I was a kid. Was she wrong?
Yeah. You're kidding.
I'm kidding.
I know you are. Okay, so here's a question about how to touch her breasts. Hi, Emily. My question is about breasts. More specifically how women like to have them touched. I heard recently that it really bugs women when men Come after their breasts like they're checking a basketball to see if it needs air. But none of the women I've been with have ever told me how to touch them in a way that feels good. What's the secret? Thanks, James. That's a really good question. Why? Why are you looking at me? Because you're like, the master breast master.
I'm the breastmaster, I guess. Yeah.
I'm just like, what, you're the breast whisperer? Well, a lot of guys aren't, I'll tell you that. Okay.
They let you know, too, pretty quickly. No, the. The breasts themselves, the nips, like, when they get.
Yeah.
Hard. You're doing good jobs, right?
But, like, squeeze it. Like, don't turn it. Don't do the.
It's not gonna squeak for you, so stop squeezing.
You know, guys, do the turn or the thing and grab. Don't do that. So here's the thing you always want to go. Start really slow touching the breasts. Don't grab them because that actually hurts. When we're not warmed up, you can.
So don't use your nails on her breasts. Like, if you've long, you should always trim your nails. First of all, just guys make sure. Because there are injuries, sex wounds that happen with people sticking their nails inside and touching nipples. Don't slap her boobs unless breasts. Unless she wants you to. Don't treat them like toys. And don't use rough biting unless she asks you to. Now, nipple orgasms are the second most common form of orgasms among women. You might be able to give her a nipple orgasm if you heed to some of these tips. So first, touch her breasts while she's still dressed. So a little bit over her clothing. That feels really good. And then slowly take her top off. Linger a few minutes, few moments, and then do some kissing. You kiss her chest, Start kissing her breasts, and then unclasp her bra and start with very, very soft touching. Before you get into squeezing or nipple play. You can cradle them, kiss, brush up against her breasts. And also using your hands, you can make the nipples tense, which. You know how to do this. Place your fingers on either side of the nipple. Push down slightly. Okay, here's the thing. I wish people could see me right now. That'll be on Thursday nights. Push down slightly and slide your fingers apart. Move the breasts in slow so you get what I'm saying. You push down slowly and you slide your fingers apart on either side of the nipple. And then you move the breasts in a slow circular motion. Start gentle and take her lead on how she likes her breasts to be touched. So if she's moaning and she's into it, that'll feel good.
Wait, I'm watching you and I'm confused.
Okay, so here's her nipples, right?
So you're doing like the Spock or Peace.
Yeah, doing the Peace sign. Putting around her nipples.
Okay, so it's another side.
Exactly. And then I'm just sort of moving the breasts around in like, circular, circular motions. So you got the breasts wax on? Yeah, like kind of. You can touch your breasts, play with them, squeeze in between your fingers slightly, and then move your breasts around. Tickle the sides of the breast. Feels really good.
Dainty. Be dainty.
You know what?
Guys treat them like they're big, round penises are like your balls or your balls.
Yeah, okay. At first. Now some women, you know, there's nipple clamps. There's. Women want their breast. I'm not saying that that doesn't exist. But if you don't know the breast. Right. That's next level.
Use your mouth.
Okay, here's the thing. Use the tip of your tongue to circle around the nipple. That's really hot. If her nipples are erect, like all the nipples that Anderson comes into contact with, you can harden your tongue and flick it back and forth and slowly take it in your mouth and begin to suck and nibble on.
Suck. Then release her nipples while inhaling. So that comes. Okay, this is really cool. So if you're sucking on her nipples while you're inhaling.
It creates this, like, icy sensation. And then when you stop, you can blow on it. It's warm air. That feels really good.
That's advanced level shit right there.
Not hard. You suck and you blow. That's not hard.
Well, what was her name, the adult star you had in there? Kendra Cross.
Oh, Kaden Cross.
Kaden Cross. Yeah. She was talking about, you know, kind of getting your tongue and your teeth a little bit with a nipple in between. And it's kind of doing a little flick.
Flick, Flicky, exactly. Flick with your tongue.
But again, she actually did it to your finger.
Oh, that's right.
It was pretty sweet.
That was a clarify.
We have a video of it. It also works on your clitoris. Madison, just to remind me. So clitoris and the nip, it does.
Work on your tongue.
Careful with the tooth, though.
You do not bite. I'm not saying you bite down, you nibble.
Yeah. You kind of do like a little pressure with your. Your tongue and the top of your teeth.
The tongue flick works with the clitoris and the nipples. That is a. And also, here's another thing. Don't just stick to the breast per se. You can also lick the space between her breasts, under her breasts. Lick it. These areas do not get enough attention because guys are like two seconds on the nipples, the boobs, and then like their penises and your vagina. So I'm just saying we don't get a lot of tension there. And they're very sensitive to the tongue. So, James, I think that's a lot of information there. And now you know, to the breast. Right? All right, that's what we've got time for today. And remember that you can always. And also the video about Kading Cross. I was going to say that I have a YouTube channel and we're going to start putting more and more videos up there, so you can just check out it and subscribe to my YouTube channel. And Anderson, thanks for being with me.
Thanks for having me.
And check out all of his podcasts After Disaster and Film Vault. And thanks, everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.
Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show about teasing. Well, I've got something that is has tease written all over it. Have you ever heard of a massage candle? I talked about it briefly in the show, but it looks like a regular candle, but it instantly turns into massage oil. And you kind of got to see it to believe it. I know that I have them lit in the office every day just as they're aromatherapy candles. And everyone stops by. They're like, oh, my God, what's that smell? Because again, it's seductive. So again, if you don't, you're like, I don't want to give a massage. You can just buy them because they're seductive scents. And it's the. So what you do is you blow it out. You blow out the candle and it pools. The oil pools. And then you slowly pour it on your partner and you give them a massage and they massage you. And I just used them before I left the office because my hands were dry. And I rub it on my body and it sinks in and it feels great. And they're all like natural. It's like coconut oil and soybean oil and it's a great gift. And if you love me and you love my show, you can support me and you can buy1. It's emilyandtoni.com use coupon code emily, that's emily and tony.com use codeemily. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to the Sex with Emily show. I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve and I want to give you the best show possible. So I really appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. Let me tell you about Promescent. Did you know one in three men suffer from premature ejaculation? Well, now you don't have to. Promescent is a quick absorbing delay spray that allows you to have the sex you want. You don't have to even think about baseball or your great Aunt Margaret with a furry mustache. You can focus on your partner's hot body, especially now that you have the time to make them orgasm. Also, Promescent closes the arousal gap between men and women. You might get there faster than she would like, so promescent helps you last twice as long. Thousands of urologists are recommending Promescent, the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. Go to Promescent.com to find out more. That's promescent. P R O M E S E N T It's not rising to the top. That's the challenge. It's staying there. Check out Promescent.
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