The Best Dating Advice You've Never Heard

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's got to have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. Well, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

Hey, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. Sign up for our mailing list, which actually, this is the month. This is the time that you want to sign up for mailing list, if you haven't already. I know a lot of you do get our newsletters, and I'm very flattered that you all love them because they're actually a lot of people. Email me like you give good email because they're actually informative, entertaining email blasts. And these this month in particular, coming up, because y' all know it's the holiday season, and I know you want to buy your partner something special. So we'll be giving you our top gift guides for men and for women, what they really want so check it out at Sex with Emily. Sign up for that and you'll also get the biggest mistake you're making in bed if you're a man or a woman. And then also we know coming up is Black Friday, Cyber Monday, all this stuff. So I'll be sending you some really good deals, gift buying all that stuff. I don't want you guys to mess it up this holiday season and have your partner be pissed at you, because that sucks. I'm here with Menace today. What up, Menace?

How you doing? I was spinning around in my chair.

I know, it was really cute.

Sorry about that.

No, I used to do that too in my dad's office. I used to go and spin around in the chair, but I get really dizzy.

Oh, no. So what is going on? We recorded a podcast not too long ago.

Right.

And I haven't seen you before that. I know we talked a little bit about your dating life.

Right.

What the hell's going on with that? Well, it's good.

It's kind of heating up, I have to say. Say I've led heating up now. Well, heating up, it doesn't mean that I'm boning. I think heating up means like, I always feel like it means like a sexual. But I'm meeting more people that I like that are interesting.

How are you meeting people?

I'm meeting people mostly offline, which is what the show's about. Since I moved here, I've met people mostly been through fix ups because I'm so busy. My friends are like, oh, I've got the best guy to fix you up with.

It's so weird. Do you ask or they just tell you?

No, I mean, actually, no, it's weird.

Because it's old school. Throwbacks.

It's so old school. And I did do my one Tinder date that I recorded live on the show. And sometimes I go on Tinder just for fun and I'll get matches and then I forget to look. But I really, I like. I like meeting people in real life because I feel like you. So I've been going out more, saying yes to things, waiting, more parties, more stuff coming up. And I just feel like then you get to know someone. There's none of that BS online dating or like even just you meet someone online and then you create this whole image and then you text. I'm so freaking over texting. All these relationships I have, even if I meet them in person after, they just want to text all the time. And I know, I get it. And I'm not saying that I want to have an hour long phone call. But do you know how much time I've wasted in my life just like trying to decide where to eat for dinner and you're texting about it for an hour. When you just pick up the phone and be like, do you like Chinese? It makes me friggin crazy.

The worst is my sister does this to me because she's 22 years old and I'll call her and then she'll, she won't pick up the phone, she'll text me back, she's like, what's up?

What's up?

I just called you. So call me back. Like, you know, right? I want to talk to you on the phone and just get this over with and not have this texting conversation for an hour when I can have a five minute conversation.

And does she call you then? Yeah, I've been doing that lately to people too. Exactly. It works.

The phone, your phone's not gonna explode. Like if you don't know the number, guess what? You're not gonna die if you pick up the phone.

No, you will not die. And here's the thing is that I feel like some kids, some younger, like 21, 22. I've heard they don't even set up their voicemail.

Oh, I don't set up my voicemail.

But still, I get it. I probably shouldn't either because who wants to listen to messages? But like it's, it's not even an option. Like don't call, don't leave a message, just text. Yeah, but that is like, what about human connection? This is how you get to know if you have chemistry and if you like somebody, if you jive with somebody. And so that is the problem for me. Not like, not. I'm not saying I won't online date and diversify because I will. But I just think it's been interesting lately, which is what inspired me for the show, is that there is just so much of this, like, we're all buried in our computers. Like, and it's not even about a traditional dating site anymore. It's about like, oh, this cute guy. I liked my photo on Instagram, so I'm gonna stalk em and see who or Facebook.

Now I know you probably have some stories about where's like the weirdest place you think you've met somebody that you've hung out with for a while.

That's a great question. We just did a. Didn't we just ask people this online about where the weirdest place? Yeah, but I'm asking me the weirdest place I've met somebody. That's why I'm here.

Cause I ask you all the questions.

Okay. The weirdest place. I've met somebody in real life that I actually liked or just met. Dating.

It's like, oh, we met somewhere.

Car wash at the car wash. Yep. Buying a car once. Oh, buying a couch on Craigslist. I bought a couch on Craigslist. Yeah. And I ended up dating the guy and sleeping with him.

What?

And I'm excited. Cause I actually need a new couch. And I'm not gonna call him. Cause he obviously isn't selling one anymore, but maybe there'll be options.

So you bought a couch off some dude. So you've hooked up off Craigslist?

Kind of. Indirectly.

Not a casual encounter.

No. And it wasn't that night. It wasn't like, let's test out the couch, buddy. Let's take your couch for a test drive. It wasn't like that. Yeah, that was kind of weird. Cause I wasn't expecting it and I wasn't even. Didn't even look that cute.

But that was still online. I need offline. So the car wash. Well, he came.

To my house and I saw him. Yeah, but the car wash, I was. Wait, first of all. Okay, let's. I know we're always comparing la, San Francisco, which could be boring for people, but like, San Francisco, which I think it's actually fascinating. Not this part is particularly fascinating, but San Francisco had one car wash or two. Like, and it wasn't a big deal if your car was dirty, no one cared. But here, it's like, there's a car wash in every corner. There's a Botox lawn, every corner. There's a hair salon, there's a tanning salon. It's all about your image and keeping everything beautiful. So when you freaking go to the car wash here, it takes like an hour. It's a whole thing.

Yeah. It's insane, right?

Yeah. So I was waiting for the car wash for. To get my car washed. My cute little car that I love. And. And there was a bunch of people there. We all started talking and there was this one, like, really cute guy, he had a cute dog. Started talking to him and then he was like, hey, so what do you do? Hey, this is my biggest problem. What do I. When people say, what do you do? I just. Especially in la, because everyone's in their entertainment. I just don't want to talk about it.

Sometimes just say, you're a podcaster.

Yeah. But then, like, what's it about? How can I find it? But I do. You're right. Don't get me wrong, but I always, like, here's the moment. I'm like, sex with Emily, and it's like, boom. Do they want my number because they think I'm. They're gonna bone me? Do they want my number because whatever. Or just. Cause they. You know. But it was a great conversation. And we went out, we had, like, two dates. I like them so far.

All right.

Yeah. Yeah, I like them. It was a car wash. What about you?

It was so weird. No, but going back to the car thing, though, like, people in Los Angeles, all they do is drive, right?

Yeah.

So they. They'll live in the dumpiest apartment, but they'll have the nicest car.

It's so true.

It's crazy. Like, they don't care about the car. Perfect about where they live. Perfect example is, you know, I love all the reality shows, so anybody that watches them, they have the Vanderpump rules. Her show, which is on Bravo, right. And she, like, oversees all these people that work at her restaurant. Right. And all these people that work at a restaurant, like, don't have really nice apartments. Okay. I'm not talking down to them about that. But they have super nice cars, right? Like convertibles and, like.

And they show their apartment. So, you know. Yeah.

So, you know. Right. And it's funny because this past. One of these past episodes that I watched, their argument, like, these two guys were arguing. I mean, like, they're fighting because, like, they used to date the same girl, but. But the art. The whole, like, fist fight started because one guy was talking crap about another guy's car. Like, really?

Like what, like your car? So 2012.

Yeah. Like, do people, like, actually fight over that? And they do. Here.

They do.

It's crazy. And I never been to any other part of the country where, like, I, you know, people take pride. I. You know, I've been through the Midwest and hung out with people and, like, oh, my truck. You know, kids, you know, all this horsepower and crap like that.

They.

They. They love it and they work on it, but not, like they don't use it as, like, a status symbol exactly. Like they do in Los Angeles.

They do. And it's true. Everyone's got, like, a Porsche, a Mercedes, a BMW.

Yeah.

A Land Rover. Range Rover.

And I go, F you, dude. I'm rocking a Prius because I'm gonna get 51 miles to the bay.

Exactly.

I don't care, because you're gonna be broke as hell all the time. You're not even gonna have money to put into your Beamer, you know?

But how sad is it that they have to lease this car and they can't? They live in squalor. Not squalor, but, like, little apartments. It's insane because that's how people judge you here. And I even get to the point where if I don't get car washed, who do you.

Why do you even care, though?

I really don't care, honey. I don't think I care at this point.

I'm saying that in general to people like, why do you even give a crap? To impress some people that, like, are impressed by your car. Like, are those the type of people that you even want to hang out with?

No. People sometimes can't get past that. They're like, oh, bad car. I'm not like that. But that's just how it is here. It's good times. So. And where else have I met somebody recently? Oh, I'm just trying to think.

And it's so funny because while you don't like it because of a distance, like, you don't, like, drive you. It doesn't matter where you lived in Los Angeles or if you lived in San Francisco. If a guy lives too far, yeah.

He's you.

He lives too far.

Right?

But here, there's like.

Even the area that you live in is kind of like, status. And it's funny because I was moving to this area, like, North Hollywood, and like, apparently North Hollywood before I moved here was, like, really hood and get.

Right, Right.

And then so people are like, oh, you live there? I'm go, what are you talking about? I live in an amazing apartment, brand new, you know?

Right.

And then I go to where they live, and it's like a dump, right?

You know, like, I have a pool. I have a nice place because you get this 90210 or whatever.

Yeah. Area code. It's so crazy. And then I'm sure, like, women and guys won't. Won't date you just because of the area.

It's true. It is true.

It's not because they're like you, because they're lazy and they don't want to, like, drive this.

Right. I just don't want to drive just.

Because of, you know, the area that you live in.

I know.

Status symbol.

This town is just everything that you think of, but it's not everything that you guys see on top. No, but it's not that everyone's like that. You and I are good peeps. I'm not going to Judge someone where they live. What do I care? You know, I really. I never wouldn't even occur to me. I don't even notice those things.

Yeah, but if you're a crappy person. If you're a crappy person and you.

Yeah.

And you live in a dump, then I'm gonna tell you that you live in a dump. But if you're a good person and you live in a dump, like, I don't care.

Have you been to my new place yet? You haven't?

I haven't.

It's been a year now. It's cool. You like it, though? It's cute. It's a cute little cottage. It's not, like, amazing. And even my agent was like, you need to now that you cut. Like, you should move out of that place because, like, it's a guest house, but so it's, like, private.

So what?

Cause that's what everyone's about, like, where you live.

Like, who cares?

But it's a nice one.

No guy cares where you live.

I know. They, like, do you have a bed?

You can live in a basement. It doesn't matter.

Guys don't care about that. But don't. I know, but why? But women here have all the nice cars, too. It's not just the guys.

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm talking in general.

Right. Guys don't care. They don't care where you live. They just want to make sure your vagina.

So what's up with the uprise, with feminism lately? Like, in the past, like, six, seven months?

Give me an example.

Just like, you know, if you make fun of a woman, then you're a sexist or.

Oh, you mean the whole slut shaming and.

Yeah, and all that kind of stuff, I think goes both ways.

I mean, I think it's been around for a long time. But what is really vocal. What are you referring to in particular right now?

Just like any, like, any type of story lately somehow ties into feminism and, like, shaming women.

Well, yeah, there is a whole, like, slut shaming women or women can't show their breasts here or there. And why can men do this? Certain things. And I know it's a whole movement, like the whole bully movement, like the slut shaming. Calling women sluts for doing certain things because every woman is very. Not everyone, but a lot of women are all about, like, we've talked about self. Selfies and being more provocative and people are judging them. And usually it's other women who are judging other women.

Oh, always.

Always. So it's just you know, I think that people are trying to send a message that, hey, kumbaya, we're all in this together.

But it's so crazy. It's just like, I like, let's say a person is in a certain position and they're doing a crappy job, Right. But lately it's just like if you even bag on them for doing a crappy job, if they're woman, you're automatically a sexist.

Really?

Yeah, it's crazy.

Like this has happened to you directly.

No, I just see it like happening in media and stuff like that.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I think there's like a resurgence of like feminism. I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, you know what?

I don't like a feminist. I don't really.

Yeah, no. Like, then I'm. I. Okay. I'm not knocking it. I'm just knocking the extreme overall.

You need to give me an example of what's.

I need a good one.

Look it up while I tell you guys.

I just need to.

Okay. Also, I want to say Menace brought up a really good point. This is a few months ago that if you guys like our show and you listen to it and you're happy with it, I would love for you first of all to subscribe on itunes. So easy. You get two podcasts a week. And review us on itunes. Just review us. Five stars would be great or whatever you want to say. We'd love to hear from you there as well. Also, we have a poll, a little 10 question poll. So easy. And it's going to be on our website and our newsletter and really need your help answering those questions. So sign up for my newsletter. It's sex with emily.com and I won't like sell or barter your email address. I'll just send you really hot information that'll help you have better sex because that's what you want and I know that's what you want. And also follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, which is sex with Emily across the board. And you can also call into my shows now on Thursday nights, Pacific Standard Time, 8:30 to 9:30pm Watch Listen live sexwithelmy.com it's through Ustream and it's a pretty good time because you can see what's happening here in the studio, which is really, really exciting all the time. And as always, you can always send us your questions. I love hearing from you@feedbackexwithemily.com so what today's show? Oh, you found something.

I found something.

Okay.

I just Googled Feminism and then news.

Okay. What would you get? So I know that there's been stuff, but I want to know what I'm doing. Off on a rant. Yeah.

No. So did you hear about how a satellite landed on a comet? Did you hear about that?

Yes.

You did hear? Okay, so a satellite landed on a comet 4 billion miles away from Earth. 4 billion with a b.

B.

And it took 10 years to get there. And the guy that did it and worked on the whole thing had to do a press conference after and he just happened to be wearing a shirt that a friend gave him. And the shirt was just like. The whole shirt was just like sexy. Women like, like look like their 50s, like pin up girls type thing. Right?

Okay.

Not nude. Nothing. And the whole. The whole thing got taken away. Like this guy's been working on this project for 10 years and all focused on his shirt, on how his shirt.

Was sexist because it was so inappropriate. Here he's doing this great thing and they're like, why was it nude? It's just.

No, it's not nude. It was like, here, I'll show it to you right here.

Okay.

Like, look at that.

Oh yeah, I saw this guy's shirt. Okay. So whatever, He's a cool guy. It's just. They're not even new. They're just women.

They're just women.

So people just couldn't even talk about his. His. His mission that he completed. Yeah.

And then so they ragged on him so much that the guy was in tears, like sobbing, apologizing.

Oh my God. Cuz he had no idea. He's like, I did this great thing. All of his, his fancy, his 10.

Year like project cry. And, and what's funny is, do you know who made the shirt for him?

Who?

His female friend.

This is just. But it's just like root of women's inequality. We've moved towards the vilification of individuals. Daniel, this is terrible.

See, that's why like this guy with.

The beard, he was crying. He did this great for 10 years of his life.

Yeah.

You know, it's true. People can do one thing right now and it brings on your entire career. Though. Who is complaining? Are they older women, younger women who are.

Who knows this? I always love where it says people are saying like, who the hell are the people? Who are the people?

We don't even get real news stories anymore. We don't even know what's true anymore. And it's all crap. And I just feel like we, the women, I understand. Like women, we've Come. Definitely come a long way. And I don't think we're ever done fighting for female equality, especially when it comes to equal pay for equal work. But there's a lot of. A lot of achievements that women have overcome and a lot of things.

And I think that this type of.

Stuff takes away from it.

Takes away from it.

Step backwards. Yeah, absolutely. Like, really? This guy just did this amazing scientific mission, and we're focusing on it, and.

He has a dumb shirt. Who cares?

Yeah, exactly.

He doesn't have a bunch of nude women, like, giving fellatio on a shirt.

But I have a question for you. Do you think it's just like that. That whole mob mentality, that fear like, that people are just kind of like, jump on it. Like, oh, I hate it too. They want to be part of it. Something of a movement like that was.

Yeah, I believe.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I don't think it really.

Has to do with. I mean, they're really that upset. Like, someone brought it up. Like, oh, I can see that. And now that everything is on display. Mm. Like, you know, you could now see a picture of his press conference, but you could watch it live, the pictures and so. More.

Yeah. And then you can comment on Facebook endlessly.

I just hate that he cried after his big mission, you know? I know.

No, I know it sucks.

I gotta stop right now. But no, I agree. And I think that feminism has helped in a lot of ways, but sometimes it also.

Yeah, that's all I'm asking. I know. Like, some. Some women might not even hear me and just think that I'm bagging on it and they're kind of wanting it.

I think you choose your battles.

Like.

Like, is that really a battle? This guy's a good guy. This is a battle that needs to be fought. Because you didn't like his goddamn shirt.

Yeah, that's what I'm asking.

It's not like he was wearing, like, Bikini Inspector or something. Yeah, the guy. No, I was kidding. That's Betty.

But that's. That's what I'm just asking, you know? Yeah, that's all.

No, I get it. It is. Is a whole, like, bash against anti. But there's always. Whatever. I'm just anti anti feminism. Really? Are we there now?

Like, I'm not anti feminine. No, I'm saying.

But that's what everyone's saying.

I just don't give it a backlash. Care. Like, people should treat people like equals.

Why don't we all just focus on the things that are important and choose your battles in Life and not focus on things like that. Like, this is a good frigging guy, okay? He's not a fucking rapist. I mean, people relax, okay? Like Bill Cosby. Sorry. Okay. Allegedly. So, okay, so we are going to talk about online date offline dating. Actually, this is where online dating. No, it's cool, babe. I love you.

Online dating misses the mark. Some of the benefits of offline dating meets, you know, remember, like, 10 years ago, before everyone was online. Like the old meet someone at Whole Foods or meet someone at the car wash and how to date offline. Because I think people forget it. It's not for everybody. And some people are getting fed up with it. And people just don't want to be attached to their computers and their cell phones. It becomes obsessive all the time. So I think that people treat dating as like an either or situation. Like, either you're online dating or you're out in the real world, but you can't do both because they're like, I've been online all day on OkCupid and Twitter, but I'm about the real world. And then I'm going to sit on my phone and check my OkCupid profile while I'm out where I could actually meet some people. And then I'm to take a selfie and you're missing the entire opportunity of actually meeting people in the real world. I mean, if online dating is your thing, that's awesome. I am not knocking it, but that is not the only way you should be trying to meet people. You should diversify, because you could be online, but you might meet someone really great when you're walking to the bus stop or when you're picking up your dry cleaning. I've actually met someone at the dry cleaner in San Francisco. So you never know. So just put on your phones and take a look around. Because this example, my friend was at this nice cop. He's like, emily, I don't know what to do. There's 10 hot women with a friend of his. Like a friends of a friend. He's like. And they invited me to their table. It was like some club, though. Like a bottle service, annoying LA thing. But anyway, he said, and these women were all cute, but they were upset. Like, every 10 minutes. They were like. He's like, I was just watching them. They were, like, adjusting and retaking a selfie. But how are they meeting? I'm sure they're all single, pretty girls. They were, how are you going to meet someone really? You're not even paying attention. They don't people are missing the real world opportunities that are in front of them, you know, like on the bus or wherever. So I'm not, again, not saying you shouldn't date online because there are good points there. It allows you to meet people that you wouldn't normally meet. You might be more flexible online or you might say, meet someone that would never come across your path. But there are some things you aren't getting from an online dating app that you could be getting in person.

And we're talking about like a real friggin we're talking about men and women. Like. Right, we talked about this again.

Women think that guys can pick up the signs like, that women are interested in them. No, they can't. They can't at all. They don't see it. You think unless you're like naked and making out with them, they guys cannot pick up that you like them at all.

It's true. But same with women, though. I mean, okay, I know we talked about that study years ago that showed that men actually can't read the cues. Like there's something wrong with their, like, I don't know, their neural functioning or their prefrontal cortex or who the hell knows? The way they read signs from women, they're like, they can't tell. But then there was another side that came out that women can't really tell either. So I think we're all kind of confused. And I think that we're not sure if someone likes us. And we're all afraid of being vulnerable and we want to protect ourselves so we don't put ourselves out there. And all I'm saying is you don't have to walk up naked and throw yourself onto some guy. But if you see someone, just say hi. If you're at a bar, hey, what's going on? You guys having fun? Walk past their table or just whatever it is, start practicing just by talking to people in public. Just saying hi. And it's funny cause I have a guy friend who's been going to yoga a lot. Cause he's, you know, lives in la and he's like trying to take tone down his lifestyle. He used to be like a party Hollywood boy and now he's like living in Venice and he's trying to like meet women, take yoga. He's taking yoga for real? Cause he likes it, but he's like, oh my God, there's so many hot frigging women in yoga. Like, what do I do? How do I meet him? And it was funny because I did a show, a Few weeks ago, which was really good with my friend Tommy Rosen, if you guys want to check it out. It's about addiction and how we're all addicted to something. He's awesome. But he was saying, because he teaches yoga as well, that the best thing to do is if you go into yoga class and you put down your mat, just, hi, hi. Turn to your left, say hi, turn to your right, say hi to the person next to you. That's it. Then you're like, hi. Like, that is like the easiest way to look at him in the eye. You're not saying, hi, I want to bang you. Even though you might be thinking that just, hey, you know, there's, there's because my friend was freaking out about, like, he approached this woman after class and then he said he was all stumbling and nervous and it's like, don't overthink it. Just practice talking to people. Because dating and learning to talk to people is a muscle that we often don't exercise. Especially if you're online now and you carefully craft your response to someone and you could delete and rewrite it and edit. And now it's just like practice. Because you're always going to need those skills of real life communicating. Like, that's not going away. It's not like we're all going to be like in a bubble in our houses with our cell phones and our computers and we're never going to meet people again. Like, real life interactions is here to stay. So I'm going to give you some tips for that. But first, what?

Not in. I know. Here's another thing really quick.

You say like in Japan or something.

No, I'm gonna say in Los Angeles. I don't think a lot of people go outside their house. It's weird. But just a little quick side note, when people write emails to the show, I love if you still include, like, how. Where you're from. You know, because we always talk. Because we always talk about, oh, Los Angeles, San Francisco. I love hearing about other parts of the country and other parts of the world that are listening. So if you do email a show, say, hey, I'm listening from blah, blah.

That's great because I remember you said that a few years ago and everyone used to include it, but now they don't as much.

I know, see?

And we also be around, I think. Okay, here's another thing. Make it short and sweet if you can. It's easier for us. But I know you want to provide details, Tell us where you're from, tell us how you heard of the show and. Or both. How you listen to the show? Yeah.

Like, do you listen on an app? Do you listen on sexemily.com? do you listen through itunes?

I'm so curious.

I just want to know because I don't want us. We were talking about being in a bubble, like being. Oh, L.A. san Francisco, stuff like that.

That just happens to be who we are.

Yeah. Love hearing and talking about the other parts of the world.

That's true.

It's fun.

And also, you can also send me an email. And we don't have to use your real name. If you're like, please don't use my name. I won't use your name. I'll change it from Bob. Make up a name, I don't care.

Or tweet the show Sex with Emily.

Yeah. And I do. I do a live Twitter chat, 12:30-1 Pacific Standard Time on. And I answer all your questions there. It's exwithemily. And I'm exwithemily on Instagram, too. Cool. And so are you, Ennis, not your dad.

Okay, so. But first, a little bit sex in the news, because I actually really like this one. Niecy Nash says oral sex saves marriages. A BJ Day keeps the divorce attorney away. Do you know Niecy Nash?

Okay, yes. Now I'm reminded by this story.

She's an American comedian, actress, producer, thinks that she's got the key to make marriages last.

She does blowjobs. Yeah. Well, she said she has a quote. Do you have the quote in there?

A BJ A day keeps a divorce attorney way. Stomach full. Wait, wait, wait.

Yeah, yeah.

Her book is called Chapter Three. I feel like she's. Okay, I'll read you this whole paragraph.

Okay.

And I say that she says, B.J. day keeps the divorce attorney way. I say that because I feel like men are profoundly simplistic, which is the reason I wanted to call my book what I used as a title of Chapter Three, which is Stomach Full, Penis Empty. A Woman's Guide to a Happy Marriage.

Yeah, Full and empty.

You think that's true? So I gotta learn how to cook. I know how to get blowjobs, but I don't know how to cook, as you know. Fuck, I'm screwed. Okay, that's cool. She continued, keep him fed and drained. Sounds like a cow or something. You have no problem. We are really more complicated than they are. And I think that women are more generous with oral sex because we nurture by nature. We want to be pleasing by nature. That's in our DNA.

Finally, somebody that gets it. We are more complicated than they are. Men are so simple. Don't tell me that they're not.

Dude, I say this all the time. Just give him a blow job. But I. I think that men are more complicated than they like to give up. I mean, maybe sexually you would love a blow job when you walk in the door.

Yeah, but what do you mean? How's a man complicated? Explain that.

Some men, many men, maybe not you, but there are men who are more complex emotionally and have emotional babies. Right, babies. But they have the real butthurt about things and they communicate things that they need and they get their feelings hurt and they don't not express it. Which is why I always say you have to learn to communicate with your partner about everything, not just sex.

I bet when they were a kid, they played games where there was no winner. We're raising a society of pussies. I'm sorry.

I agree with that in a way. I think that people. Every kid now is told that they're the best and they're the smartest. They're gonna do great.

Yeah.

There's no competition.

I know. And then when they don't do well or they get rejected in real life, then they freak out. They don't know what to do. They have a breakdown.

Exactly. It's so true. They don't excel right away. They're not told to keep going because their parents always coddled them and told them everything was great. And you'll be a star.

Yeah.

It's all messed up. And so what's so interesting, she says, is that women are more willing to have conversations about, do you want to get married? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you want to have children? Then we are to ask, what kind of sex do you like? What are you into there? She told the magazine. So. So she's saying the same thing I'm doing. Is that a conversation that a lot of you need to dive into if you're going to be with someone for the rest of your life and they're failing to meet your sexual needs. Needs. This is great. If they're failing to meet your sexual needs in a relationship slash marriage, it's like doing a slow dance with death. We need to make sure we can get. We meet right there in the middle. Because people get married and they do not talk about their sexual desires and needs and whatever. And it changes over time. And they stop communicating. And they're dying because they're not having sex.

Yeah.

Certainly aren't getting blowjobs okay. But first, when we come back, we're going to be talking about this whole offline dating thing. But first, a word from our fabulous, amazing sponsors. Okay. Promescent will help you last longer in bed. Period. End of story. If you were with a partner and she just, you know, women take a little bit longer to orgasm. I know, it's a pain medus wish that women came in 30 seconds. I know, but they don't always and men sometimes come a little longer than they like to. So promescent is the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. Or, or if you just want to last longer in bed, you can now focus on your partner's body rather than thinking in your mind about all the things that are just baseball or whatever it is so you don't ejaculate. So if you don't want to get, if you get there faster than she would like. Promescent helps you last twice as long. Urologists are recommending it. It's the only FDA approved treatment. And it's a mild delay spray you put on your penis and doesn't transfer to your partner. It's amazing. Go to Promescent.com it's P R O-M-E-S-E-N-T.com also with the holidays coming up, let's go shopping. And you know that she might be telling you, I don't know what I want or he's saying, I don't know. But you know what? Everyone wants more sex. Okay, a little bit more sex. If you're in a relationship and how do you keep it interesting and how do you spice it up is by going to goodvibes.com they carry all the only, the best sex toy brands out there. They're all tried and tested and they're like body safe materials and they're the most, like the most innovative toys on the market. So if you go to sex with Elmy.com click on the Good Vibes banner. I have a store and you'll see that every product in there I've tried trusted and I recommend to you, there's stuff for couples like the we Vibe plus is a great gift for the holidays because it's a remote controlled vibrator that you wear during sex, which is cool. There's also one called Blue Motion. It has an app. There's all these techie ones that if you're in a long distance relationship, it's like vibrating panties. And you could be in Chicago and I'm here in la and you could Be vibrating my panties when I'm out with my girlfriends.

See, finally. See, I was so ahead of my time.

I know. It's really cool, right? Yeah, I know. We talked.

Technology is finally here.

You also wanted to make a toy called the dump truck, so. Well, still that one seller that has not the.

The scientists in Japan and just can't keep it from catching on fire. But the thing is.

Technology. Go back to that. Self driving cars. I was just thinking about this when I was in Vegas not too long ago and I was talking with a group of friends and Tesla is going to have a self driving car. There's like Audi and a bunch of other car manufacturers. Imagine this, you're driving from LA to Las Vegas on the freeway. You could be having sex in the back seat.

I know. We don't trust that at all. I'm so nervous because there could be a technical glitch. Just like my frigging iPhone right now keeps calling FaceTime and three people at once that I don't even want to talk to that I hate the most random people I. Facetime.

Yeah, but I mean, they'll get it. They'll get it down eventually, you know?

Yeah, but I don't want to be in the first round. I don't want to go like go off the road having sex into a ditch on the way to Vegas with some dude with like his penis in my mouth. Bite it off because the car went off the road. But I like the concept. And my biggest dream is if I ever get really wealthy, if I make a lot of money, I want a driver because I hate driving. So I would want a car that drives. I get it, but I don't trust it yet.

Yes.

And you go to Vegas all the time, so it'd be good for you. And you get blowjobs the whole way. And I wish that for you in your future.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'd love to get a driver too.

I know. Wouldn't it be awesome? Well, Uber. Uber is like America's driver now.

Yeah, I. But my. My dream is, let's say if I.

Be with me every day, to be.

With you every day. If I won the. If I won lotto, I wouldn't quit like doing morning radio because I love morning radio. But my dream would be like to have a driver like Howard Stern and just like sleep in the backseat until I got to the radio station instead of driving there. That would be amazing.

He's only doing like three shows a week now. I heard too. Howard Stern.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. The guy's earned it. Like people say, oh, he only does three shows again, he's, he's doing, oh, he's always on vacation. So what? The guy and like has earned his way there. So everyone, 40 years, everyone can suck his dick.

I know I can't. I was like, suck my dick. I've been doing 2,000 friggin podcasts, people. Come on, we've been doing this a long time.

Yeah, we have.

I love you. I just want to tell you.

Thank you. I love you too.

Okay, so offline dating. It's funny though, because even when we started the show, we used to talk about this all the time. This was like a top topic I was thinking about. This was that like, just say hi to everyone you meet. Like I said earlier, like, meet every opportunity, every time you go out is a chance to meet someone. And then it just has been so focused on like Tinder and Facebook and everyone meets online now. And three out of marriages start online. There's a new one called I'm Going Old School.

Yeah. There's this new one called the Grade. Have you heard about it? It just like launched like two days ago.

What's the grade?

The Grade is supposed to like help weed out the, the creeps. So if a guy gets rejected a certain amount of times, he gets banned from using the service.

Really? Like if he sends like a weird message or something.

Yeah. So if he, if he's setting like dick pics and stuff like that, then he'll get banned from the service.

Okay. And just a dating service.

Yeah, but. Or if he just gets, let's say if he has a normal profile and he just keeps on getting rejected because. And he's trying to like hook up with chicks. It goes both ways too.

The app is like, oh, he hasn't gotten any play, he's out.

Yeah, he's done harsh. Yeah, they call it the harshest app out there.

That is. Yeah, but it's kind of a way to.

We're talking about offline stuff. We're talking about meeting at bowling alleys.

Well, here's a study that came out and it says that more readers reported finding. This was from. This was from cnn. I think more readers reported finding their. This was in the study, but from cnn. I think more people, readers of the Stuff people who took the poll reported finding their prospective partners through friends or family than any other method. So 70% met through friends and family, 61% online dating, which is still significant. 61% met at bars, 45% at work. 11% other. So I think that it's really interesting. Then what is it? 11% says meetup groups and 8.5% social media. So I guess that's a pretty big. That's a pretty big stretch for online. But 70% through friends and family. And honestly, I do believe the thing about online dating that makes me a little nervous sometimes is that I'm glad there's a creeper app out there is. Because you have no context for someone. You just some online. And usually if you. If it's through a friend or family or whatever, you know that this person can be back. Oh, I like Menace. He fixed me up with this guy, so he must be good. And there's no context. Right. So I think that meeting through friends and family, it's like, I think friends.

Through family and then through work, if you can handle it.

But work can be tricky. But yeah, work can be.

Yeah. I mean, don't pick somebody that's like side by side with you, but like maybe somebody in the building or something like that.

You mean like that's not in your department. Maybe.

Yeah, yeah.

And not your boss.

Yeah. Or your assistant can be bad for you.

Totally. Okay.

But at least you know, if you work there, you know, you have common interests and stuff like that.

But then the problem is not. Yeah.

And also, like do it in a. In a workplace where it's not. It can be your. Your life, career, you know, like if you're working. If you're both working at, I don't know, let's say Fry's Electronics.

Okay. Like, I don't know, they don't have.

Fry's Electronics throughout the country, but place where they sell televisions.

Right.

And.

Maybe that might be a good place to meet somebody because you. Hopefully you're not going to want to work there for the rest of your life. You're going to want to do something. But yeah, some people do. They make it a career.

Transitional career.

Yeah, that'd be a great place to meet somebody, don't you think?

Yeah, I think so. But when you're younger, you don't know. Like, even if you work in a restaurant, it's always drama. Like someone sleeping with the bartender or whatever.

Other restaurants, like everyone sleeping.

Everyone. I mean, in college I was a cocktail waitress for years and I was sleeping with a bartender, but I only slept with him, not the other bartenders, which I'm quite proud of. But yeah, I guess you could meet someone at work. But here's the deal. So it's as simple as making eye contact and flashing a smile or knowing when to back off and when to stop talking so much. People have an easier time picking out an emoticon to display the emotion they are feeling rather than showing it on their face. So this is a body language expert and founder of the non verbal group and he's talking about technology right now that people are like spending so much time crafting these messages and they don't even feel their emotions right now, but they can have an emoticon to express it. Right. Unfortunately, for the last 10 years, he says people have been really confident behind the keyboard of their computer. But when you see them in person, things are different.

I know just talking about this the other day actually with my girlfriend because.

We'Re talking about some guy in radio and she would say, oh yeah, he would like write emails. We'll talk about like business stuff like emails, like crazy. But when I saw him in person, like he couldn't even say one word.

Crazy. Awkward. Exactly. And so a lot of people have, you know, and I think that, that for people who are predisposed or to be socially challenged, which a lot of people get anxious and they're nervous or social anxiety, it's really, really common. But I think people would overcome it more because they had no choice. Right. We're in public, we're going to party, we're not online. And now everyone's. For these people especially who are not as good at communicating, they're not getting the practice they need because they are hiding. So they're not growing in their skills. And if you don't challenge yourself, you do not change yourself. So that's just a great. Yeah.

If you're just outgoing these days, it is just crazy on like how people respond to that.

Exactly. If you're not outgoing. You mean in public.

Yeah. If you're just outgoing in public, I.

Mean, I feel like people are like killing off their social skills all they are by hiding behind their computer.

Totally.

It's like it's gone. So that's why I want to you guys to. I want you to get it back. If this resonates with you at all. I'm going to give you some ways that you can actually get these skills if you've never had them. And I think that also that people are thinking, well, I don't even need them. Or they're. The older you get and the more you mature. And if this particular issue has been through a long time that you're afraid of talking to women or men or just being out, it's Going to get, it's going to exasperate, exacerbate over time if you don't deal with it. So. So online dating is one tool that you could use. But I think as a society there is still a real organic way to meet people like what we used to do. So, okay, where online dating misses the mark, this is how I kind of brought it down. So this is online dating. We can get very overwhelmed with choices and options. There's so many sites, so many apps, so many people. And it can become a full time job and it's no longer fun or become an addiction. Refreshing your Tinder. Like I have friends who've been on Match and they're like, you know, or anyone, okay, Cuba. It becomes an obsession and you're connected to your computer. And it's also, we waste time and people mess up. You waste time going on dates with bad people because. Or the wrong people because they misrepresent themselves. We create this image of who the person is in our mind before we meet them. And then people, you know, you meet in person, you're like, oh God, I just texted this person for three weeks and I met up with them and they're awful. So you're wasting your time. Rather than meeting someone in person where you're like, you can tell. Not that person could end up being a jerk. But at least you know, if you have chemistry and you connect and you have no point, like I said, you have no point of reference who they are at all if you meet online. I'm not bashing online. I'm just saying we're gonna bring you to the other part.

Yeah. Because you can build yourself into whatever you want to be online.

Absolutely. You can show a picture of 10 years ago and online dates tend to be a little bit flakier. Yeah. Maybe just easier to flake online. Cause there's no repercussions because it's just online. It's also limiting because online dating you can sort by what you want and maybe put in there. I only want a guy who's this height or makes this much money. But you might meet the man of your dreams and he doesn't have any of those things. What, that height or the money.

I mean, what have you lied about on your online profile?

I have not lied. I've never. I haven't really dated online that much. I haven't lied.

I mean, what do you put on your Tinder? Let me see your Tinder app.

Oh, I didn't really put anything on it.

Let me see it.

Oh, gosh. Okay. I put. Okay, I'll tell you what I put, all right? It's very easy, you know, it says.

Oh, you don't even want to.

You know how it says tell yourself in 500 words or less? Yeah, I put in 500 words or less. I couldn't even explain to you what I'm about or something, which I thought was fine. Wait, what I write. Are you really gonna look at my Tinder right now?

Yeah, I want to see. Don't edit it right now. Why are you taking so long?

I don't even know how to edit. I'm just trying to find Tinder. I don't want you to look at my Tinder now because you're gonna be mean about it. I'll show you after. Okay? So also, we have false expectations again. We think this person is great based on their profile. And here's another rule, though. If you. If you are dating online, do not text the person for weeks on end before meeting them. I say, like a week and under is when you should meet. And don't keep texting and learning all this stuff about them up to the date, because then you're not practiced. Then you show up for the date, you're like, oh, so you went to school here and your parents.

Yeah.

Such a bore. It's fun being on a new date and meeting new things.

Just learning.

Yeah, and just learning and growing. So that's that. And then also.

Okay, you might miss out on. Oh, premature. That's what I'm talking about. Premature escalation is a term that I coined for the New York Post because they were telling me, like, do you think that people spend too much time, like, communicating with people they don't even know? And I said, yes, absolutely. It's like a premature escalation. You start to, like, really get into this person, and you might even start sexting before the first date, and you just gotta stop it. Meet him in person. Don't waste your time and see if you like them or not.

I know, right? Like, people are setting like.

Like dick pics.

Dick's pics.

Don't send me a dick pic before.

Even meeting a person. I know, it's insane.

It's insane. Okay, so here's some of the benefits of offline dating. I know they do this.

Sorry. When I think about dick pics.

You think of what, yourself?

Yeah. All my dick pics. No. So we. On the radio show that I do in the morning in Los Angeles, we do a thing, a Craigslist segment. It's Called Craigslist freak of the week. And I always have to. To, like, look through all the ads, look for the craziest ads online. And then we read them on the.

Air of online dating. Yeah. And.

And all these profiles are so ridiculous because you'll see one like, oh, I'm really trying to find the love of my life. I really just want a sweet girl. And then just dick pic.

Like, the guy just sends a dick pic.

Well, there's like, there's a profile and it's like, oh, this guy is actually really cool. He's like, I really want to find somebody and have it, like, deep, passionate relationship with. And then at that. At the bottom, they', Dick, baby.

I know exactly why. I don't know. I think they just think. I don't know. I don't know who those men are. I don't know if they're like, I just found some kind of affirmation. What happened?

Like, diaper fantasy and.

Yeah, well, there's a lot of that stuff.

Crazy.

There's fetish sites for that. You can go to a fet life if you're into that sort of thing.

Well, we're trying. It's funny because nowadays, like, we're trying so hard right now to do a show about online offline dating, but it's so hard to even have this conversation without going back to online.

I know. That's why I'm gonna give you little tips here. So, because offline dating in real life, what you see is what you get. There's no surprises in the physical department. It's not 10, 15 pounds ago that this person posted their picture. There's less opportunity for someone to misrepresent themselves. You're not gonna be wasting your time as much because you actually get to meet someone and know if you have chemistry. Because chemistry, no matter. He could have great punctuation and spelling, or she. And you could be like, so into their words and what they're writing you. And they could seem amazing. But when you meet them in person, if there's no chemistry, it doesn't matter how great he spells or whatever it is that turned you on in the first place.

And another thing, like, sorry, going back. Going back to online real quick is don't. Don't try to hide yourself. Like, if you're overweight. I'm overweight. Been overweight for, like a couple years. Right. And if you try to hide that online, you're never gonna really find a good quality person to hang out with, because.

Show your full beauty.

Just show yourself like, who cares? And then finally, that will just weed out all the people that, you know what don't really want to know you for. For you. They just like, oh, it's a. Oh, he's a fat guy. I'm not interested. Well, you know what? I'm not interested in chicks that dis.

You want to be with someone who wants.

Yeah, I want to be somebody that's, like, super cool and, like, to hang out with and stuff like that. And it goes vice versa. Like, guys are like, oh, I'm. I'm not as attractive as, you know, who effing cares? You know, just show yourself and don't hide behind.

And then when you.

Photos or photos of, like, the sunset or group shots, like. Or photos from, like, 15 years ago, you got to get over that. If you really, like, are online trying to find somebody exactly, like, show your true self, and you will. You'll find somebody. And then. But it goes back to in person. In person. You mean people?

Yeah, Outside your comfort zone. It's true.

It's like, if a person is talking to you, then. Then you're like, oh, my God, I'm showing my true self, what I really look like, and this person and my personality. Yeah.

And they might not have picked your picture.

Yeah.

And I'm having.

And I'm actually having a real life conversation with this person. And then you're like, wow, they're really interested into me. And that's way more satisfying than lying to them for weeks on end and then finally saying, oh, by the way, you know, I'm 100 pounds heavier than I really am.

Exactly. You know, okay, so also, when you date offline, it extends your social network because you can meet new people. Like I said, outside your comfort zone. It gives. It challenges yourself to grow, because if you're hiding on your computer, you are not growing. With Netflix and dating apps. Apps, people just don't go out. They're like, I'm gonna watch Netflix. I want to go into online dating. So if you force yourself to go out, like I always say, say yes. If you're in a slump right now and you haven't met anyone, say yes to every single invite you get for the next 30. For the next 30 days, no matter what happens, just say yes. That was, like, my misadvised thing, but it was true. I said yes to everything.

Yeah, and then there was the movie about it.

Someone said that. What was the movie?

Yeah. Yes, man.

Yes, man. Okay. See, I made that up first, didn't I?

With Jim Carrey and He ended up with Zooey Deschanel, so that's kind of cool.

You could be end up with Zoe Deschanel. Also, you get better communication skills because people with poor communication skills tend to hide behind online dating. They never have to develop the ability to actually talk to someone, and it's easier to stand out. So with online dating, there's just way too many options. And if you get out there, for every great guy or girl, there's about 500, you know, 500 others that might just be like a few swipes away. But if you're out in public, you can make a lasting impression and you can show who you are, and that's what you're about. And so it's not just reserved for the nighttime. I think daytime is a great time to meet people. Like, I know all these people are meeting in bars, and I'm not saying you're not gonna meet in bars, but sometimes you can just meet people when you're, you know, on the street and you're walking to lunch in the same, you know, in your area, wherever you work. And so, you know, whether you end up going with, you know, dating them or not, it could just be like a new friend. Doesn't have to be your soulmate, but you might meet friends of friends. And so I just saying, like, do it during the day. Think of every opportunity that you're in public as an opportunity not just to meet someone you're gonna bang next, but as an opportunity to make new friends, new contacts, new connection. And if 70% of people are meeting through friends and family, if you're making more friends out there, you're more likely to meet someone. So.

And then you can have like barbecues and stuff.

Yeah, totally. I mean, come to my barbecue.

I love a good barbecue.

I love a good barbecue. I would never get invited barbecues here. What? I don't know. I would like to go. Are you having one soon?

No, but I. The comedian, Ralphie May, if people know who he is, he sent some steaks over. He sent me this like, like 150 steak. It was called the Tomahawk steak and it was delicious. Cooked it up on the grill. Well, my girlfriend did, because she's more of a man than I am.

She is more man. She knows how to work the grill.

Yeah, she like threw it on the grill and stuff like that, and it was delicious. But just like having a atmosphere of a ton of people around makes you more confident, you know, in speaking to people in real life.

Exactly.

I know it's a Little tough when you're on your own and you're going and going to places, but you just meet people.

You meet your people again.

Thing that I've been saying on the show for years, you're not gonna die if somebody doesn't want to talk to you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.

Just say hello.

Just go say hello. How you doing? Where are you from?

Right.

Hi, how you doing?

How's your day?

Oh, where are you from? And then there you go. And then hopefully. I think there's been a very rare occasion in my life where.

Somebody says, oh, I'm from here and I have nothing to say about right now.

That's a good one. Or I've never been there. Here, it's nice. Or whatever. But usually you have been there like a little.

No. Or just like a little fact. Like, you took history, you know, you know something about Vermont, you know, something about Florida. You know, it's crazy. And they have gators.

So is Florida and Texas the craziest.

Stuff happens in the world, you know, like, that's always. I'm telling you, it's always a good opener. Like, hey, how you doing? Where you from? From, like, that's always not like, like, oh, it's gonna lead to, like, sexual acts, and you're gonna hook up with that person.

It's gonna lead to a connection, and then you're gonna have.

You're gonna have a. Yeah, you're gonna have a conversation.

Also, here's the thing. Let your friends do the work. So your married, practically married friends are an untapped resource because they want everyone to be married like them. Do you ever notice your married friends are like, when you get married. When you get married that they want.

About other couples hang out lately? No. They're like, they're effing.

They're like, don't get married. Yeah, well, most of them are miserable. But if you get them at the beginning of their marriage when they're not. They're not all m. You guys are happy married, but basically they have your best interest at heart. So they're like, they know a lot of single people. They might want to fix you up with them. So let your friends know. Just like when you're looking for a job, like, hey, if you know anyone cool. And then maybe that next night they'll meet a single guy and they'll be like, hey, you're a single woman. They'll fix you up.

Yeah, I know, like 50, 50 with me. With friends that are married.

What do you mean?

They love it or they're just like.

But don't they go back and forth like they love it some days and they don't love it?

I don't know. The ones that hate it have been pretty consistent. And it's not like they hate the person that they're with. They just don't like not have.

What don't they like about it? They don't like being able to bang other women.

No, it's not even the sexual thing. It's just like oh, not being able to just go do what I want. Like I want to go home and I want to sleep or I want to like I want to go eat at this place.

It's always, I don't want to perform. Perform Cunningus.

Yeah, well, it's just always compromised. You know, when you're in a relationship you always have to compromise everything. Everything. Like the movie that I wanted to go see this weekend, I wanted to go see Interstellar and my girlfriend wanted to see Big Hero 6. So what do we end up seeing?

Big Hero 6.

Big Hero 6. Because I, you know, really, I don't really want to fight over something. Like I'm not gonna go crazy over it. But it's always, not that it was even annoying, but it's just like, it's just an example. Like when you are in relationship it's just compromise, compromise, compromise. And then when you're in a binding relationship, like a marriage, like yeah, you better, you can't even get it right better compromise. And oh, and the people with kids, oh my God, they've been, they've been on a rampage telling me how much they hate the kids.

They hate the kids? Yeah. Oh my God. Well, it's challenging. I think it's, you know, people don't tell you that, how difficult kids are going to be and talk about your independence. When you're in a relationship you do have to compromise. And when you have kids, like your whole life goes towards the kids. And when you're single and a lot of people are delaying marriage or staying single longer, we're so used to being able to do whatever the hell we want, whenever we want that we're like really?

Like really, I gotta take care of somebody else.

Yeah, it's really hard. For 18 years I would think I had a dog. That was really hard. Also, these are some other tips to explore your interests. So get involved in an activity that you enjoy. Like I don't care if it's like hiking or painting or frickin wine tasting. Creative writing. Take that class, you know do something that's a little bit different. You can go, you can take a study date. If you take a class, you can like have a study date. Go find like minded people with similar schedules to yours and similar interests. And then afterwards you'd say, hey, you want to grab coffee after? I've had a lot of guys like after yoga or after like classic, let's all grab coffee. And it's.

Well, yoga guys are creepy. That's what.

But no, but even after like classes I've taken, like, let's get a coffee. And it seems sort of benign and like I don't know that he's hitting and it's cool. And sometimes I like him, sometimes I don't, but we become friends and then also you want to put yourself out there. Yes, online dating is safe, but taking the, taking the risk is half the fun. Online dating is not always safe though. Open yourself up at the possibility of meeting someone. Just say hi. Treat every time you step outside an opportunity to meet someone, every time you leave your house, you know, taking your dog for a walk, dog parks, it's a great meeting people.

Did you get picked up at the dog park?

I did, I did. I loved the dog park.

Guys are just having those dogs just so they can meet chips.

It's so true. I have so many guys in LA with like cute little dogs. I'm like, does that get you laid all the time? They're like, every time. So go to a dog park. Bookstores, sporting events. Sporting events are great if you're, if you're a chicken to sports and you're like, like, like the sports bar on Monday Night Football. Whenever the hell football season is. Is it now? It's now.

I know my friend. She's like the shyest person ever. Like doesn't like being around other people in public, but she's really into sports. So she went to a sports bar and like her team was winning and she ended up making out with some guy at the bar. And she's like the shyest person. And what sucks is that she's so shy. Like when people meet her, they think this chick is a total bitch, you know, but she's not. She's just like, she was trying to.

Get the sports bar and hooked up somebody.

Well, she had like a few drinks and she's at the sports bar. She's like making out the guy and like meeting people. It's, it's fun though.

It is fun.

Again, it's like common interests.

Common interests, exactly. Another thing I did in San Francisco is We used to have these single parties. Like, everyone my friends would get together, like bring the single guys, you know, and they were really fun. We'd like meet at a bar and. And eventually you hook up. That's a really fun thing to do. It's like, we're all gonna go out anyway. And then like I said, say yes to everyone. Everything for the next 30 days, just say yes. Go out to things, even if they're random. You're like, I'd never do that. I'd rather sit home in front of Netflix and try to find someone online. Just say yes and go to the Whatever it is barbecue or the weird art event or whatever it is. Cause the bottom line, no matter how great someone's like, punctuation is or their writing skills or their ability to Photoshop their photo, there's no way to tell for sure that you're gonna have the thing with someone because it can turn a friendship into a lasting relationship or chemistry. You will not know until you meet them in person.

Yeah.

So I'm just giving you some inspiration.

Like, going back to, like, people that listen to us all over the country. They don't maybe live in a major city, maybe they're in the middle of nowhere in America. You know, if nothing's going on in your town, like, take that trip on the weekend and go somewhere. Not the plan. Like, oh, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna find some chick and I'm gonna get laid like three hours away from where I'm. Because you're setting yourself up for failure because you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Just go and like, experience talking to new people.

And I have to say that this is coming from. I'm being honest that I, you know, I was in San Francisco for a long time and I had a lot of friends. I worked in a lot of different areas and I always kept up contacts. And I have to think about that. A lot of the, you know, my long lasting friendships and people I ended up dating were typically through people like friends of friends that I knew or. Or they'd invite me to a party once a year and I'd meet someone there. So it is really good to expand your social network and stay in touch with people that you just meet once. Or even if it's like I've gone on blind dates with people and then became friends with them and that, you know, I'm just saying it's just good to practice those skills of just, you can have friends, you can be friends. Men and women can Be friends. I know you don't really think that, but they can be.

Yeah.

So if you go out with a guy and you're not crazy about him, maybe you'll be friends.

Yeah. I don't think, like in their twenties they can be friends, but they can't.

No, they really can't. Right.

Yeah.

I don't know. I guess I always. Good. But maybe I had more guy friends in my 30s. Maybe because everyone wants to bone you, but then they still do in your 30s. But then if they have a girlfriend sometimes or slash boyfriend, it's easier, but then once they break whatever, it's confusing. Okay, the other thing is. Okay, that's all we have time for.

Oh, the other thing is we don't have any time.

The other thing is. Oh, we have no time.

Okay, great.

But I love you all and I love everyone, my listeners and people for listening and for supporting the show for almost 10 years. Menace me have to do some big thing in 2015.

I want to go with you to this. The convention.

The sex toy convention.

Oh, the avn. Yeah, gy, I always want to go that. But the another thing is I. Mr. Skin, I might have to. I might have to go with you this time because I was so pissed at you last time you went. You barely took any photos or put them up on Instagram. So it wasn't my fault this time around. I, I.

My size and lots of.

Toilet phone in the toilet.

Okay, the last day this year. All right, we'll forget about it. We'll forget about it. But this year I want, like, see a bunch of photo galleries and all that kind of stuff. That's all I've ever wanted to Instagram like crazy. Hey. See, you're dwelling on the past. I'm proud of you.

I know, because it pisses me off that I didn't get to take you. Yeah, I gave the keynote.

There's a new one. There's a. There's a new one this year.

Don't bring up the darkness of the past.

You're dwelling on the past right now. I'm trying to think about the future, so I can't wait to see all the photographs you come taking to Vegas. It depends on when.

Like in January.

January, yeah.

Yeah, something.

I'm spending New Year's there. Should I just stay?

Yeah, Totes.

I wish.

I should spend the years there too. Okay, Menace, I love you. Everyone can find Menace at Menace. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Check out his show. Can they podcast it if they're not?

Yeah, the Woody Show. It's on.

I heart all that kind of stuff. It's not really. It's not sexy.

We just talk about like everyone's into sex like me.

Yeah. We talk about like pop culture and stuff.

Like. No, people love pop culture.

So if you want to know a lot about the Kardashians and dude, you.

Find your dream job. That's all you talk about. If you go back to our shows like 200 shows ago, 300, that's. We talk about the Kardashians.

Yeah.

Now they're. Everyone talks about the Kardashians.

Yeah. So we gotta talk about.

You were cutting edge. Okay, thanks, Menace. And thank you everyone for listening and happy holidays coming up, everyone. Keep checking. Remember to check out my. My good. My website. I'm having lots of gift guides there. Sign up for my mailing list and you'll also get the biggest mistake. You're making bed five biggest mistakes if you're a man or a woman. And I just love hearing from you all and I hope you're all doing well. And thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackswithemily.com okay, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. And I got one more thing to tell you that, you know, it's the holidays and you might want to buy your partner a gift or yourself a gift. Because what is a better gift than the gift of masturbation, after all, is sex with someone you love. And the Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men and probably the only one you ever want. It's a male masturbation sleeve and it looks and feels like the real deal. And how cool would that be if you could have the pleasure of having sex anytime even when you didn't have a partner? Because the Fleshlight simulates the sensations of having sex. It's a male masturbation sleeve. You don't have to use your hand as your only option. And it was engineered to look and feel like the real, real deal was actually invented by Ines. And it all feels amazing. People have mind blowing orgasms and you will love it. So it fills your core sexual needs. You may even have a partner. She could use it on you sometimes. She might not be into sex or he might not be into sex. Whoever you're with and you just use his flashlight feels a little different. People freaking freak out about it. And if I had a penis, I'd be using it all day long. So I want you all to check it out too. And for my special Sex with Emily listeners, you must go to sexwithemily.com click on that fleshlight banner and they are giving all my listeners if you buy a Fleshlight you get their award winning Flesh lube. Okay use coupon code Emily get their Flesh Lube but you gotta go through my site and click on the Fleshlight banner. Thanks everyone for listening. Love you. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.com sex with Emily for 50% off and here's a bonus, use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.