The Casual Pick Up & How To Last All Night

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's Gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Common knowledge. What do you mean?

Like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

Well, you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. please do that. Check out my site because it's chock full of information for you. We've got blogs, you got videos. We even have our mailing list that you should sign up for and get the five biggest mistakes you're making in bed. If you're a man or a woman, you can choose because everyone you know, you might be making some mistakes. You might need a little tune up. And I might email you every once in a while. I won't spam you if they're actually useful. I actually got Anderson. I'm here with Anderson. You know, I was in Vegas. I just got back from Las Vegas. Hey, girl. Hey, what's up? Holla. Holla. I got in last night and like, I had a few people come up to me and they're like, we love your newsletter. We want to emulate it. Like people in my industry. It was a sex toy conference. It was international holiday.

Step off, bitch.

Don't. They're like, we love your newsletter. I'm like, I tell people I feel like I have a newsletter that people actually want to read because they're like good tips and stuff. I'm not like selling you crap. But it was fun, Anderson. That's why I'm a little. Might seem a little tight. I feel like energized me. I was like five minutes and I was in Vegas. It was tough. I was walking with a bunch of lingerie models and got a bunch of sex toys and stuff that I got some gifts for you all later. Stuff like that. You said that last week and I.

Walked out here with nothing.

Dude, just. I have a bag next to me, okay? I want that. So chill out. Tonight's show. I'm so excited for my guest. I have shy love in here. Let's give her a big round of applause. She's a former porn star and now she's a successful businesswoman, author to two bestsellers, which I love the titles because every single one of my listeners shy. Absolutely. Like, need help. Well, okay. The first one is how to catch a Kitten.

Yep.

So I assume that's for Men to try to find a kitten.

It's for men trying to find beautiful women that they normally can't get.

Oh, so stepping it up. Dating out of their league.

Completely dating out of their league.

Limiting beliefs that they believe they can't get a hot chick.

Exactly.

You're gonna show them how. Okay. Also, I shouldn't say this is for everyone, but, you know, it's always. It's easier to fall in love with a rich man than a poor man. My friend told me how to Land a Rich Man. Is your other book how to Catch a Kitten? How to Land a Rich Man. They're both on. Both best sellers on Amazon. And Your website is moneylovesuccess.com?

Yes, it is.

Okay, so how to Land a rich. These are so interesting. Okay, so first of all, how did you. So you were a porn star? Retired. How was that?

Being a porn star was fun, but exhausting.

Yeah. What do you think? What did you learn about sex? Being a porn star, you must have, like, learned so much. Like, what was your top sex tip prior to porn?

I didn't even know how to be sexy at all. Porn kind of taught me how to be sexy, More comfortable within my own skin. And then the person I was probably the first day and six months later was completely different because I was very open to sexuality and my own sexuality.

I think the best thing I learned was how to give the best blowjob.

Really?

Every man I've ever given a blowjob to said it is the best they've ever had.

Okay, that hasn't happened to me. So tell me the tip. I love asking, but what is your. Why do you think? What. What is it? What do you do? Give me the tips?

Well, one, I make sure teeth are very important not to be involved. So learn not to do that. No teeth check. I do a lot of massaging with my tongue from the shaft up.

While you're going.

Like, while I'm going up and down.

And I massage you massage with your tongue. What do you mean exactly?

So it's kind of like you take your tongue and you just, like, massage it.

Like, hold on, I have a chocolate penis here. Maybe we should give her one. I got it from Michelle. That's one. I really do.

But you massage the bottom of the penis with your tongue. And most girls think that, you know, it's just taking your hands and going, like, you know, back and forth with.

Your hand and all the.

But it's about how much bit you can get into your hand and moving it in a Circular motion as you're basically pushing your mouth out.

Moving the circular motion at the bottom.

No, from the top. From the top to the bottom. As you're going down and as you're going up.

Okay, Right. And then use your tongue, swirl it around, do massage, all that and make sure it's wet. Well, how do you feel about the balls?

I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Do you play with them always or does it depend on the guy?

I think it depends on the guys. Some guys don't like it and some guys do.

It's true. Some guys are like, stay away from my friggin balls.

They don't want to be touched.

I know. You don't know. You got, you got to feel it out.

Sometimes you just try it and they're like, you can see when they kind of nudge away and you're like, okay, how about hygiene?

How do people feel about men who maybe are down there are not as clean? Does that ever happen to you? No, never happens in porn, right?

Because you all shower before everybody is completely showered. And I am a big massive germaphobe, right? So if I'm with a guy and there's anything wrong, the moment I go there, I'm like, you need to go in a shower because this is not gonna happen like this, right?

I have no shame because I, I actually created a product that I'm going to give to you. It's called Down Under Comfort. It's for men and for women. And it's a cream. It's like deodorant for your down under parts. Men can put on their balls, women can wait to put between their legs. Because we sweat, we get dirty. Like aren't there. But what about in your personal life? Aren't the people you dated? I know you're married now, but like, you're just like really like you showered this morning. Like you're not fresh now. Anyway, I'll give it to you down in.

I don't know, I first. It's so weird because I've. Every time I've been in a relationship, I immediately marry the guy. So it's kind of like my thing. So I've never liked just randomly with a whole bunch of guys in my personal life, but I would literally always have afternoon sex after what?

After.

Like instead of doing lunch where people would go to work, like, and this is like, even when I was an accountant, before I even got into pornography, I would leave instead of going to lunch for my hour, I would go and have sex in the car with my husband.

Oh, my God. How long have you guys been together?

My husband and I, nine and a half years.

Oh, my God. That's great. Do you still have sex in the afternoon?

Yeah.

I love that. What is this? Okay, so. But what is the secret to that success?

Well, the good thing is my husband and I are not together all the time. He travels and I travel. And I think the biggest part of most relationships is that people believe that a girl and a guy need to be together all the time. And that's just like a recipe for disaster if you're not on top of each other. You both have your separate lives. Even though you're together, you're still dating. In nine and a half years, I'm still dating my husband.

I 100% agree with you. I think that we are told in this culture that you need to become one. You need to live together every day, share everything. Not of secrets. That's not sexy.

No, that's not sexy. That's needy. That's needing something, not wanting it. And the rule of a relationship is the moment you need it instead of wanting it, then that's going to be the end and the demise of you.

So you're both really independent and you have time apart. I think that I always feel like my friends who have. Who husbands or the wives travel, either one that their relationships or even people on my show that seems to be stronger. Like, you need the time away so you can miss each other. So there's excitement.

Yeah. Which is what we do. I mean, he leaves for five weeks and he'll show up. And I'm like, oh, my God, it's great to have you here. And then we're like little fuck bunnies and having fun all day long. And then I'll leave and I'm like, okay, see you later. And then I come home and it's so.

Because you keep it going. Because we're told again, like, you're supposed to become one. But that. That's because we have this drive for security. But that drive for security squashes all the passion.

I would agree.

Passion is unpredictability. And it's the newness and the freshness and the missing and the lawn. You've perfect formula.

Yeah, it's a perfect formula. And we have a role.

And even great blowjobs. Yeah.

And we have a role like, you know, he calls home to speak to the kids and the nannies, put them on with the kids and stuff like that. But I only speak to him maybe once a day for like, five minutes when he's gone out of town. So that way we're really, really missing each other.

So you're not, like, texting all day?

I do not. We barely text. We bar call each other.

I think that's really not. I think that we overdo it now in today's culture because we can talk. We have this expectation that we're in a relationship. We need to be texting the whole time. We need to be sending pictures. We need to be flirting. And, yeah, I think when you're first.

Dating and you're in that honeymoon period, yeah, you're gonna do the cutesy texting, being sexy about it, because you're trying to draw the guy in and wheel him in so you can snatch him. But once you're past that, it's at that point you have to decide at that you just look like you're desperate. Once you get to that certain point in your relationship, you're consistently texting, like, do you not trust me that you have to text me all the time? You know, do you not have your own personal life that you have to be attentive to me all day long? And that's why people get bored and they move on.

It's so true. It's like, you got to get people. And a lot of times, the things that people are most attracted to might be your independence, that you're doing something that you. Or how you are in your life when they meet you. And then people tend to change when they get in relationships and they're no longer that person. They become needy, they become attached. So don't give up your life for anyone when you start dating him or ever. Just keep your independence going, because that's the thing that is the sexiest thing about you. I would agree. Maintain your independence and your life, but you can still have a successful marriage like you do. So you went from porn into.

Then.

What made you leave porn? Was there.

There was nothing bad. I mean, the business was great. I still get along with everyone. It was just. I wanted to get married, have kids, and I just couldn't see myself being.

Kind of hard to juggle it all.

Yeah, my husband wants to know that his wife is going to set and having sex with random people and then going home, and that's just not gonna work.

No. And not with men.

As a mother, I just didn't feel that it was my place to do that. Then you go home and you kiss your kid in the mouth, or you're. Or you're afraid to drink out of the Same bottle with them. I didn't want any of those experiences. So I told myself today I wanted to get married and have kids. It would be my.

And then you met your man. How'd you meet him?

He built a house for me.

Oh, he did?

Yes.

Physically building it? No.

He was my developer.

She watched him, like, putting up the bricks and stuff or whatever contractors do. That's hot. I'd marry someone building something for me. I just want someone. Put up a shelf in my bathroom. Maybe I'll marry that guy.

You know what's funny is I'm married.

Feedbacks on me.com. if you want to do some handy work, maybe I'll marry you.

Yeah, no, my husband doesn't do that anymore. Now he goes and says, I'm just going to hire someone. They can do it. I'm like, but you build a whole house for me. He goes, yeah, and that's what. I can pay someone else to do it. I don't have time for it.

Exactly. No, that's true. You get to a certain point where you can hire people, which is good. Everything. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Okay, so I want to talk about. Well, we'll get back to some sex tips in a minute, but I also want to tell you we have a special doctor calling in in a little bit for a few minutes. Dr. Levine. And he is Dr. Lawrence Levine. And he's going to be talking about. He is an expert on male sexual issues. I hate the word dysfunction. It kind of bothers me. It's labeling things. But some men have erectile dysfunction or they have issues with staying hard or not staying hard or. And just a lot of different treatments for men having issues with their penises. So we're just gonna talk to him for a few minutes in a little bit, but that's. Just wanted to give you guys an update on what's coming up. Okay. So tell me about your books. How did you get to. Okay, let's talk about how to catch a kitten. How to catch a kitten? Why do you think that men. I mean, there are so many people out there teaching men different tricks. There's the whole pickup artist community. There's the, you know, like, how to just land the ones who are, like, get our number and sleep with it at night. Like, seductive things. And they're ones who are like, better man. And, like, what is your theory for men about. In your book how to catch a Kitten? Tell me your philosophy. But also I want to know why you think it is after that men have such a hard time finding women.

I think men have a problem finding women because they're insecure with themselves or insecure with confronting someone and hearing the rejection, and they rather just not confront the girl than to hear no.

Right.

And I think that fear so causes a lot of guys to think that a girl's not up to par. Like, they're not up to par for that girl, and that girl's way above them. And I think that's where the biggest problem comes in. But the reason why I think my PUA stuff is a little bit different, because I'm not gonna call it a pickup artist thing, is I wrote it in the perspective of a woman. And what I did was I took all of my secrets of what men have done to me or what have been done to my girlfriends, and that actually worked. And I'm not saying that these relationships were the. And I'm not saying it didn't last for a long time or anything like that, but it was just some really crazy things that they did. And I realized that the reason why it worked is because as women, we say one thing, but in reality, we go for the opposite of what we say. And unfortunately, the way to get a woman is to make it seem like she's basically nothing, that she's not that important, that she really.

So you believe in that whole, like, dissertation? I don't know.

There's a thing between dissing. I don't think you should ever diss a woman. But it's like, for instance, you go to a bar, you see a girl, she's really hot. All these guys are giving her attention at the bar. You really want to talk to a girl. You don't know what to do. So you go in there, you're like, excuse me, do you mind if I squeeze in there? And you order the drink? And she's sitting there wondering, why hasn't this guy talked?

Right? Because she knows she's hot.

She knows she's hot. All these guys are checking me out. And he might sit there and have this drink an entire time, not even act like she exists. That's going to get her more attracted to him than the guy who sits there and says, hey, by the way.

My name is Right, and can't get you a drink, or, hey, what are you doing here?

So it's not about dating a girl. It's about making her feel that maybe there's something wrong with her because you're not giving her the attention she's used to.

Wow. So it seems so tricky, though, but. So you think for you, when A man because you're a beautiful woman. So you had so many men that, that. That were always hitting on you that you thought. Because I think about this too sometimes I think, who are the guys that. Why did they. I meet so many men who were the ones that like, got in. Like, why. I've thought about this too. Like, to tell my. Like, what do they do? So for you, it was the guys that maybe they seem more mysterious or they seem like they had more as much going on as you, or they.

The mysterious guys and the. That are harder to get are usually the challenge that I love. And that's what I go after.

Okay.

I want the guy that doesn't want me because it just. It's more of a thrill.

But do you think every woman feels that way? Like, I love guys who want me, but if they don't want me, like, I'm like, I don't want to chase you. I'm not even me. Look at me, buddy. But it's not.

Don't want you in a way that they don't think you're hot. It's like they're not giving you. The problem with.

They're not doing the typical line.

This is the thing. The problem with women is that pretty women know that they're pretty. They're hearing it all the time. So for that, when you give them a compliment, it's just like a brush over the shoulder, whatever. You know, I've already heard this before. So what do you do when you're trying to get the attention of a woman who's already act like this. Because unless you were ugly when you were a kid and then you became pretty, then you're more understanding to a guy and you're like, you know what? It's a pleasure to meet you. And you're respectable in that manner. But if you're just naturally pretty and you've been pretty your whole life, usually it's a little bit more difficult to confront those.

Right. So were you always a pretty girl?

No, I was an ugly duckling.

You were.

I was extremely ugly.

I can't imagine. You guys gotta check this out. We're doing a video a little bit after the show and some pictures. If you want to check it out, it'll be on our website, our YouTube channel. Really? So to what age? When did you blossom?

At about 22.

Okay. And then you felt pretty, but you had all those years?

I did still feel pretty. I felt better looking.

Right. Did you work on it or did you just go into it?

Oh, yeah, I worked on it.

Yeah.

Got contacts. Took off. Braces.

Right.

Got a boob job.

The boob job. Right. I feel like I just moved to la. I should probably do that soon. Maybe next weekend. I'll schedule that. I totally get it. So. Okay, that's interesting. So pretty women. This is. So. Let's talk about this for a minute, because I feel like it is true. I've thought about it. Like, the guys who. Because every guy to me, I go to bar, they all have the same. Or I'm out at a party. Like, okay, he's talking to me because he thinks I'm hot and I'm not. But the guy who's something interesting or intriguing, that's just different. It's not just like, hey, you know, you look. You're so pretty. You're so. I love your eyes, but they're like, challenge you in a way or they say something interesting. So besides just being like the aloof guy at the bar, what else do you tell him as far as conversation starters?

Typically, I tell guys the worst place to pick up a girl, believe it or not, is nightclub. I mean, I don't think that. Yeah, I don't think that's an appropriate place.

I always say bar, but it is not. It's not the best place.

I don't think it's what I usually say. The biggest. The best pickups sometimes is airports, because you're sitting down, you see a pretty girl, you're gonna be sitting there anyway to get on that plane. And I'll tell you, the best pickup I've ever had was in an airport.

Really? What happened?

Yeah, there was this really cute guy, and he comes up to me and he's like, do you know how long this flight's delayed? I'm like, well, they just had 20 minutes, but this is the third time they've changed it. And he's like, okay, thank you so much. And he sat next to me, and he's just on his phone doing whatever he's doing and totally not even talking to me. And then he goes, the flight got delayed by another 20 minutes. He goes, I just want to go grab a drink. Do you mind watching my bag?

Right?

And I'm like, yeah, not a problem. And then he goes, do you want me to grab you a drink as well, maybe while I'm doing this? And it wasn't like he was forcing himself. He was just being polite. And I'm like, okay, so this guy's asking me to watch his bag. He's asking for a drink, but he's not flirting with me. He's not asking me any number unclear.

Right now what is going on here.

And I'm like, I was confused by it, but it made me want to have a conversation with him. And he and I are really good friends now, which is funny. But he. That was one of his pickup ways. It was never.

Did he ever admit that. That he admitted. He was like, I thought you were so smoking hot. I sat there.

He says, I looked at you from across. When I. Soon as I saw you, I knew I wanted to talk to you and everything else and totally was, like, wanting me. And that was one of his pickups.

Right. It totally worked because he was casual. He wasn't obsessive. He wasn't, like, nervous. He wasn't staring at you for 10 minutes before I went over and talked.

Because he wasn't about me. It intrigued me more to want to know more about him. And we ended up talking the entire flight, and we had one kiss. And then I think we end up going to an event together. And I was like. And he looked at me, and I looked at him. I'm like, I think we're better off as friends. You want to be my wingman, and I'll be your wing woman.

Let's give me a contradiction to that.

That's what it came out to be. Because we were way too similar. And it was weird to have someone be identical to you.

Right?

He was like the male version of me. And I was like, okay, I don't.

Some people want that. I don't want that at all. I do not want to date me. I wouldn't want to date.

I killed myself if I date.

Exactly.

Me too.

I mean, Jesus, I almost killed myself. No, I'm just kidding. But so what other work then, like, let's say guys, like, I always say Starbucks, because that's a great place. In the morning, you're waiting in line for coffee or wherever you get coffee. If it's at Starbucks, I don't care. But what about just like, if you notice a woman in line? Like, what do you do if you.

Notice a woman in line? She's right in front of you. You can easily just say, do you know how long you've been waiting here? I'm just trying to exactly. Keep it.

Observe something.

Observe the situation. Make the conversation something generic that the girl has to answer whether she wants to or not, because otherwise she's being rude, right? So then she'll be able to say, well, you know, I've been waiting here for five minutes. It's not really long wa. And he goes, oh, thank you so much. And by then, she actually looks at him and says, okay, you know what? This guy is. I like him. And then it leads into more conversations. The best way is not to do pickup lines. The best way is to be as natural and as casual and make it a generic conversation regarding what's happening around the surroundings. And then that way, the girl doesn't feel like you're picking her up and that will intrigue her more.

Exactly. I totally agree. And the other thing that men can do. So you know, you guys, this show is free. I love bringing you all the show, but so I can keep doing it every week, twice a week. But this show is brought to you by Max for Men. Because this is another thing that can help men. It's a product line all about increasing male pleasure, attraction, and performance. So if you use coupon code Emily25, you get 25% off at Max for Men. That's Max, the number4men.com. They have this, like, pheromone cologne, and it's like paraben free, sugar free. And it's like a sex attractant. And it is. And I have. So they also have another brand called crazy Girl. And I put it on at the conference this weekend. And I'm telling you, like, I'm like, pheromones, whatever. I don't know. Every guy was like, you smell amazing. And like, guys, they weren't just hitting it. They were like in the elevator with them, like, you smell amazing. So Max attract pheromone cologne is also great. And their products are really reasonably priced. Mac shave gel. Mac's oral sex gel. They have really cool products. Mac's Four Men, the number four, and use coupon code EMILY25. And you get 25%. So if they're wearing that cologne, women might just fall over them. But also, you said something interesting earlier when you said that men are so afraid of rejection. And I was actually talking about this. I was driving back from Vegas with my assistant Lauren. I was saying, it's so interesting that the only men that we meet because she's a hot. She's a hot, smart chick. But I'm just like, no, it's funny. It's the guy. Because in this business, I've learned it's the guys that have the ball to talk to us. Like, there's a whole bunch of really nice guys that we might actually want to date and be with, but they're so goddamn afraid of rejection to talk to us. They're Nervous. Once they got past that, we might. We might love them. But there's, like, so many men who are paralyzed with fear about talking to women saying the wrong thing. And it's like, it is the rejection. So maybe the first times you. Few times you talk to her at the airport or at the coffee shop or at lunch, you fumble. But you get bad. It's practice.

If you do it enough times, it will naturally come and you won't even know you're doing it.

Exactly. So you'll just naturally do it.

Get rejected two, three, four times. Trust me, it is going to teach you what.

What?

Got to reject it so that you knew the tactics for the next thing that you did.

Exactly. And you get better. Rejection makes it stronger. Like that, which does not kill you, makes you stronger. I mean, I know that being in entertainment business, I get rejected all the time. Like, if I don't get rejected, I'm shocked. And even when something good happens, I'm like, yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. No, not that I'm negative. Just, you know, it's tough. So you. But I've learned that I get over it. Like, if things happen, they happen. If they don't happen, they don't happen.

I have a rule to always look for the worst so that when the best happens, you can take the enjoyment of it.

Yeah, exactly. I don't know if you live for the worst, but I always look like everything's okay. Now, if that happens, it'd be great. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. But, yeah, you could also think of the worst.

I think of the worst. I'm like, okay, it's probably not gonna happen, so who cares? And then when it does happen, it's like, oh, my God, it actually happened.

Right, Right. You're like, wow, exactly. I totally agree. So in your book, so how to Catch a Kitten, so you teach them how to approach the woman. Oh, you teach them how to approach the woman. And then you teach them how to. And then what? Like, you go through the whole. Is it more about just approaching?

No, the book goes from approaching how to maintain the relationship, whether you want it just for one night stand or if you want it for a full relationship. Relationship. So it goes from everything, and it gives you all the taxes on how to keep the girl and how to make sure that she stays yours.

Oh, okay. I want to get to that a minute. But first, we have our special caller. We have Dr. Levine on the phone, and he is a specialist from Chicago. Hey, Dr. Levine. Are you there?

Can you hear me?

Okay, we're waiting for Dr. Lawrence Levine and he's going to talk about treatments for premature ejaculation. He's actually a specialist from Chicago and he is trying to find a specialist. So he is professor in the Department of Urology at Rush University Medical center in Chicago, Illinois. He's made a substantial contribution to the medical press in the form of peer reviewed articles, book chapters. He talks about dysfunction, fertility.

Peyronie's disease, which again, to male sexual dysfunction, which, you know, a lot of our listeners. Have you been with a man who had some dysfunction?

Maybe he in porn? Yes.

Oh, my God. Really? Like how? So what does he do on set?

Yeah.

Does he come too quickly? Da, da, da.

There have been guys who've come too quickly or you're even doing softcore, which means you're not even in penetration. And it's, oops. There's been guys who can't even get it up at all.

Right. They can't get it up. They can't. They get it up and then it goes. I mean, there's so much. And men just, I mean, they got, you know, Viagra. It's been huge, but I'm sure. Does every guy in porn take Viagra?

They take Viagra, Cialis and then some injection. I forgot what it's called.

Yes, I just heard about this injection. I think it's not good for you.

I don't think so, but they still do it.

But that's why. Dr. Levine, are you there with us?

Hello.

Hi. Thank you so much for calling into sex with Emily.

I'm delighted. At last.

I know. I'm so glad to talk to you because you do very important work.

Well, thank you. You do too.

Well, thank you. I mean, the penis. Let's talk about it. There's these people. People have issues. Men, they don't want to ask for directions when they' and they don't want to talk to anyone about their penis issues. So I love that you have, among all your accomplishments, you've done a lot of important work around male sexual dysfunction and Peyronie's disease. And you've just, you know, fertility, everything. Right. So what I was wondering, like, if you. Yeah. Talk to us about some of your latest findings.

Well, you know, one of the things that I wanted to talk about tonight was something that I'm seeing more and more of in my practice and I think we're seeing more and more of in the medical literature. There seem to be more and more doctors who are interested in it. Because men are coming forward with premature ejaculation.

Right.

Certainly not an uncommon problem and maybe even two to three times more common than Ed.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Exactly. Why do you think that is? Is it because they're coming forth more, or do you think there's a reason why we're hearing more about it?

Well, I think people are getting more and more relaxed about talking about these things. I mean, sex is important.

I think we can live without it, but I think most of us would rather not.

Exactly.

And it certainly is a critical part to, I think, any man's and also woman's life. And as a result of, I think, the whole opening of society with respect to what happened with Viagra years ago, I think this is just the next thing in line that's coming forward. You know, I think that. That men who have had this problem have.

Been suffering in silence, sort of like Ed was 20, 30 years ago.

Right, right.

And now we have some opportunities to be able to offer treatment to these fellows.

If they want to come forward now, they don't have to necessarily go to the doctor. There's a new product that I've been delighted to be able to offer to my patients, and I've seen some, you know, remarkable results. And this product is called Promescent.

Right, right. We've talked. Yeah. Promescent's amazing. That's why I'm glad, because they told me about you. I was like, oh, my God. Because I talk about Promescent on the show all the time because I always get premature. People calling in about it. I'm like, you know, because. Yeah, Promescent. It's a. You explain what I explain it. But you're a doctor, so, you know, how would you explain it?

I'm sure you can do it, too.

I can, but I like when other people say things because they've heard me talk about it, because I've used it with men. Like, it's amazing. So what do you tell me?

Your mescent is a very simple product. It is a patented type of lidocaine spray. And what that means is that it's not just straight lidocaine, because anybody can smear some lidocaine jelly or something on themselves and maybe make them numb, but it wouldn't necessarily do what we want this product to do, and that is to sort of decrease the signal that's going to the brain that ultimately activates the ejaculatory reflex. So by slowing that process, maybe giving a little bit more control, a man will be able to reach orgasm. Ejaculation more when he wants to and do it together with his partner. The product is lidocaine, but used in a. Or.

Used in a way that is a special technology that makes it so that it is more apt to be absorbed down to the level in the skin where we want it, not just on the surface. We want the nerves down below to receive this drug.

Right.

And I think the advantage to it very clearly is that it doesn't transfer to the partner.

Right? Like, she's not going to get. She's not going to feel anything. She won't even know he's using it. That's the thing. If you wait like 10 minutes, she doesn't have to know.

That's correct. I mean.

It'S sprayed on two or three sprays is usually all that's necessary. I've had men who have needed more, but not many. And this can be done 10 minutes, 15 minutes beforehand. It could be wiped off if there's anticipated oral sex because it might have a little bit of a taste and they might not want that.

And then they can simply adjust the dose to what works best for them. It doesn't have to be used every day.

Right. And you can use it right away. You can decide. But here's my question for you, though. So the thing about premature ejaculation is it's not only like if you're a minute man, it's like you could also be like you're. Because most women take like, you know, between what, 14, 18 minutes of an orgasm. And if most, even if you take six to eight minutes, you're not gonna be able to go with your partner. So if, even if you just want to last double what you last, you want to last 12 minutes or, you know, something like that, that would be a great way to use it too, for like the orgasm gap, kind of close that gap.

This is important because there's a lot of out there who are, you know, quote, normal and normal for a man might be three to seven minutes. And like you say, women might be much, much longer. So called arousal gap, you know, so she's left hanging and he's all done. So there are ways, of course, to make that happen better in terms of how one engages sexual activity. But if it is too quick for a man just because he wants to be longer, there's no harm in using this.

Right?

It's not prescription. I think that's the other important point is that the man wants to get this right away. They go online to promescent.com and they can order it.

I know, I love it. It's been amazing because that's the thing is that there's no other. Because for years this has been coming for me. The reason why I love this project because I feel like.

That they're really, you know, you tell people, men to do Kegels, you tell them to do, you know, the stamina training and all this stuff. But a lot of times it's just a mixture of psychological. It's a lot of things going on and it's just. Did you find before this promescent that you were able to help men? What would you tell them to do if they don't want to take Promethean?

The only thing we had was off label use of antidepressant medication.

That's the worst. I can't believe they give that. And it works for men. I know, but then you're like, have all these side effects, right?

You'd be nauseated. You can actually have difficulty getting an erection. You can have sleeping issues.

Right. You can't ejaculate. I have a lot of guy friends, like, are you kidding me? You're taking like Prozac because you. Yeah, it's a problem for men.

It can be, right? So this gives, this actually keeps things much more on a normal level and not having to take a pill every day or to take a pill several hours before anticipated activity. This is, you know, it doesn't, you know, work that well. And I think, you know, that this was what the advantage was. You know, I had one patient for many years, he would come in, he wasn't even a minute man. He would oftentimes ejaculate even before gaining.

He just like walked in the door and started. Yeah, boom.

Yeah. And you know, poor guy was a prominent fellow here in Chicago and you know, mature, normal guy. And every year he would come in, say, what's new, Larry? Would you have anything else for me? And I started using this product and I said, geez, let's try this. And two weeks later he called me up and he was so excited because he was going from being like a three second guy to now being a two minute guy. And so for him that was huge.

Yeah. He said, wow, two minutes. She even knew. I even got my penis inside her. And she. Yeah, that's amazing. And then what happened?

Well, I mean, you know, it was enormous for this fellow. And of course what I also see with patients is that they oftentimes report that as, as they continue to use the product, they find that they can last Longer and longer. So to your point earlier, for a fellow who's five minutes and that's okay, but he wants to be Superman there and so carry it on longer because, hey, it's fun, he has the opportunity to do that without remorse, without causing himself any harm.

Right, Exactly. That's good. I love this. And you're doing so. So what is your best advice for a woman who's dating a man with premature ejaculation? Should she bring it up? A lot of times, guys and I have shy love here. She's here. She's also. She's a former porn star. She writes and gives advice to men and women about dating and stuff. But, like, how should women handle it? Like, it's kind of awkward. You don't want. Because a lot of times guys don't want to talk about it. So what do you think that as a women, hey, babe, it's okay, but here's a solution for you or.

Well, I think that's a good start.

We're fine with it.

Sort of really know being supportive is certainly going to be a lot better than being, you know, critical and diminutive and making the guy feel more embarrassed than he probably already is. And so being, you know, starting with the supportive idea and saying, listen, you know, you know, I just. We just love having sex together and I just want to make it even that much more, you know, happy and successful and enjoyable. So maybe we should talk to somebody. We can go online.

You can just order them a bottle of permecent.

Order them a bottle of promescent.

Happy birthday, babe. No, that's great. That's good. Because I feel like I'm glad to hear that men are coming forward more. I mean, I feel like, you know, because I've been doing this for eight years and I feel like it has been a topic that just more, you know, there's like different trends or things that are coming up. And this is another one like that we hear about because there just hasn't been a solution. So. Well, thank you for all your good work. Dr. Laurence Levine. Is there a place where people can find you if they want to learn more about all of your AM work?

Sure you can. My. I think I have a website, but my office phone number is 312-563-5000. And you can look me up online at Lawrence with a U. Lawrence A. Levine. L E V I N E. We'll.

Have it all on my website as well.

Great.

I have. And I have Euro Partners. Is one of your websites too.

Euro Partners is part of the big group that I'm in. And maybe next time we can talk about Peyronie's disease, because that's one of my.

Oh, I wanted to talk about that as well next time. Is there anything. Could we get like a quick. A quick rundown on it right now?

Yeah, sure. You know, Peyronie's is for. Well, for men who don't know, it is a deformity of the penis that is caused by a scarring process typically triggered by some type of injury. Now, most of the time that when a man remembers the injury, it's a sexual injury, but 80% of the men I see don't recall any event that really did it. And that's because the pressures can be so high in the penis during sexual activity, they don't even know. It could be one of those. Ooh, ow, ow. And then they carry on.

Wow.

And then within, sometimes days to months later, they'll start noticing a deformity. I operated on two men today. Pardon me, with Peyronie's. One had an 85 degree curvature and the other had about a 65 degree curvature up and then to the left with a twist and narrowing. And he was hinging all over. And these were guys with normal erections that just had unfortunately developed this problem.

And it develops over time. Something happens, they don't treat it, and then it gets worse over time.

Yeah, sometimes the problem is that we don't. Most people don't know what to do. Most doctors don't know what to do. And there is some evidence to suggest that getting things started early, once the deformity starts can help prevent progression. And if you can stop it early, you might be able to not need to have anything further done. Unfortunately, some men will just march on right through the process until the scarring stabilizes.

So how can they find it? What are some signs real quick that men, in case they don't know if they have it or not.

Well, it's only seen when they have an erection. In the erect state, if the penis is curving any direction, most commonly upward, but it can go sideways or downward, they can have indentations. So the normal caliber of the shaft of the penis can have indentations in it, like a wasting of sorts, like an hourglass thing. And the penis may buckle. Sometimes it's associated with erectile problems as well. Diminished rigidity.

Oh, okay.

And in the early phase, a lot of men will also have pain when they get an erection. But the key finding is that shape change in the Penis. And probably one of the most devastating of all of these changes in shape is shortening. I have not met a guy yet in 30 years of practice who has come into my office and said, hey, doc, make my penis shorter, right?

Oh, that's the worst thing. I think if men's penises are getting shorter, they become in your office and drove. Jesus, your phone's gonna start ringing now.

And this is truly something that is devastating for the man and it can be devastating for the couple. So not only is it a physical problem, but it can be psychologically quite disturbing. And there's no cure, unfortunately. But there are some new treatments that have recently come out. There was a drug that was approved back in December called Xiaflex. And this is something which is only administered by specialists in the field. But it's basically an enzyme which is injected into the scar tissue which helps break it down and can help correct the deformity.

Okay, got it. And you've worked on all this. You've done a lot of work on this.

I have.

Okay, well, everyone can find you on our website. Dr. Lawrence Wien, thank you so much for calling in Sex with Emily. I appreciate it. Okay, Have a great night. Thank you. I figure every once in a while, maybe next week we'll have a good gynecologist call in. You know, we'll have. Give people information on their parts.

Actually, there are a couple of guys in the business like that.

Yeah.

Then they perform with it with.

They have the curved penis. I think the curved penis is fine. It's a curved penis with like a.

No, I'm talking about. There's two guys that I knew that literally is beyond the normal curve.

Oh, my God. We should call Lawrence Levine. Seriously. Okay. Okay. I want to talk about more about your how to catch a kitten. So you teach them the approach. So is it. So they could. On your website, do you work with these men one on one? You have a book, I mean, or do they buy your book and it walks?

Well, the website has multiple things that it offers. You can buy the book. You can also, if you don't want to go into the actual seminar, you can do. You can watch the video of the seminar. Okay, so you can purchase that, or you can go to a live seminar that I set up, or you can do one on one consulting and work one on one with you.

Okay, so what do you find is the biggest. So it's. So I always say this too, comes down to confidence. You gotta be confident. And there's some men like, you know, good Looking smart, well traveled, you know, successful, but they just can't. So is this. I mean, it must be hard. They come to you because they're probably like in this desperate, or they can't break because they're like, I need help. I know this is a problem. I can't talk to women. Right.

Usually, you know, it's so funny everything else.

But, you know, a lot of the.

Guys, at first, they're very uncomfortable. Like, I'm gonna go to her and ask her about how to build up a relationship. But what I've done is I've actually posted place in places, actual people that I've actually worked on and on. Some people, it's changing their entire look because they just.

They might need a makeover.

They need a makeover and they don't know what to do. Some people, they don't need the makeover and they're well put together, great jobs, but they just don't have the game or know what to say. So then I teach them the way to approach girls. And with them, I typically take them to a restaurant or bar, cafes and stuff. And I test them out in the actual field.

You're like, go talk to her now. Or so nervous at first. I've seen guys, at first they are.

Nervous, but after a while they start getting more comfortable. Usually when I do that, usually about the fourth, fifth time the guy confronts someone, it works.

He's got it down. So these guys, you might be rejected. Just know that you're gonna be rejected. Pretend 20 times before it's good. Let's just say to people, it's fine, you'll live, you're not going to die.

If you go out at night and you approach, let's say five to 10 girls anticipate, 50% of them are going to turn you down. It's fine and it's okay.

You went home, you fell asleep, you woke up.

You better ask five to see which one's gonna say yeah, than to not ask any and then go home alone.

Exactly. Then you feel bad and you beat yourself up. Okay. But you also talk about not which I like that it's not just getting the woman the hot chick, but then how to keep her how to have a relationship. So what are some of your tips for that? Because a lot of these other people teach, like, here's how you get the number. Here's how you get laid. Like, no, here's a holistic process about.

You know, what's funny is one of the parts that I put in there is. And we talked A little bit about it earlier. We, as women say we want a guy who's attentive to us, and we want them to text us, and we want him to do calls to us and everything else. But when a guy calls us too quickly, it's like, oh.

Oh, yeah. Really? Like, you're calling me again.

You already called me again.

Wow.

And. Or you'll go and you send a text and you see someone texting you really fast, and we say we like it, but then when it happens, and like, God, how many times this guy gonna text me?

Exactly.

I mean, he just dropped me off from dinner, and now he's texting me immediately. So we have a tendency to do that. So I give the tactics of when it's okay to call a girl, when it's okay to text mess her to so that he can time limit everything so he's not so needy. Because as much as women say they want those things, they don't.

They don't. We don't. The second I met a guy this summer at a party, and he. I met him that night, gave my number, thought he was fine. Interesting. He texted me that night to make sure I got home okay, which is like a good tactic, like a minimum party. Like, just to check, are you okay? But then in the morning, he called me, left a message, texted me, and sent me an email.

That's too much.

I was like, I deleted him faster than I could even. You know, before I even brushed my teeth that morning, I was like, really?

And the thing is, a lot of guys think, well, I'm in a relationship. This is normal. No, it's not normal to want. It's like when a woman consistently knows that a guy's gonna always call her, he's always. She feels like, okay, I already have this in the bag, but what if there's someone better out there? So I already know I have him. I'll keep him on the sidelines. And then I'm gonna go look for Mr. Right.

He's like, Mr. Nice Guy, friend zone, whatever.

He turns into a friend zone. So basically, I teach him all the tactics to make sure he doesn't fall in the friend zone and how to keep her so that she's consistently interested and that she doesn't feel like he's whipped. So it makes her consistent.

Even if he is. He's like, I want to call her.

It gives him that control.

Okay, got it. And you think all of that stuff is what works. So what about just being a better listener or asking questions or being attentive in that way. Like some guys. Just. What about those skills?

To be honest with you, those skills are based on the girls.

Yeah.

Because there are some girls that don't want to communicate and there's some girls who like, okay, please just don't listen, just shut up and leave me. It depends on the girl. I mean, I communicate very well with my husband, but there's times I'm like, you know what? I just really rather you not say anything and we'll just deal with it later, you know? So I honestly think communication that is based on each individual person that you're dating.

Right.

Because everybody has a different level. What they're more comfortable.

Do you ever teach any sex tips to the guys?

Not really. I mean, to be honest with you, the only sex tips you really need to know is, is making sure you don't rush into sex. Making sure you have foreplay. Girl, especially when she first is with a guy, she's more fascinated by that making out and that passion and that, oh my God. Because she really, really wants to have sex with you, but you're making her wait for it. And that usually draws her in a lot faster than you actually just saying, I'm gonna go and put it in and call it.

Exactly. In fact, when you do that, when you walk in the door and like you don't even touch our breasts and you unzip our pants and try to stick it in, we are not excited, we are not happy. We didn't even know you walked in the room.

What happened?

Right? And the foreplay should not just be before the first time you have sex. The longer that men employ foreplay can make out. Making out is like the first thing that goes in a relationship.

Listen, I am completely turned on by makeouts, right? I would rather have makeouts than sex. And my husband rather have makeouts and blowjobs than sex. So it's perfect.

So perfect, man, he found.

Yeah. So it's like, oh, let's just make out. I can give you a blow job. Great. Perfect.

Exactly. No, but whatever it is, it works.

I don't have sex the whole time because for me, sometimes just I orgasm. And it sounds really weird, but I get really wet right from when I'm making out with a man. And sometimes you'll go and it goes straight into sex without that make out. And then you're dry and you're trying to figure out how to keep yourself moist.

If she's wet, you guys, if she's not wet yet, when you go down there, then you need to go back.

Up and do other stuff.

Yeah. Retreat, retreat. You didn't do enough. You didn't do enough. Go back, go back. That's what God said. That's so easy. I don't know why men don't. That is the best advice I've ever given. She's not wet. You're not doing your job. Because some women don't get that wet. Some women have, but you still get.

Some lube, but you get some moisture.

Right. You should know if she's turned on. She has her breath quickening. You want to get to the point where she's begging you. She literally can't wait for you to do it. You don't want to be like, no, no. Because I hate. I mean, there's just. I just. Even if you see someone for a while and they have sex, they just go right for the pants. Like, still touch my breast, still make out with me still.

I remember my husband, he would go and he would go in the kitchen and he would, like, kiss my neck and, like, do little things. And then he went through a phase where he would just go in the kitchen and just try to drop my pants while I'm doing the dishes.

Let's go at it.

I'm like, dude. I'm like, seriously, Just because they want that, I'm like, just. Can you kiss my neck and do a little bit of foreplay while I'm doing the dishes? And that way, by the time you're done kissing your neck, I'm sitting there leaving the dishes and saying, okay, I'm ready to go.

Right. Good advice. That is such a sick. Do you do that? Do you listen?

Yeah, he listens.

See, now he knows, right?

Now he knows. And now he doesn't just go and jump in.

It's so simple. It's like communication. Like, this is how you learn your partner. Like, couples don't talk about this stuff. And then years ago, by. And she's like, if only he kissed my neck. Right? And then you got a divorce and you could have just kissed her neck. Okay, let's talk about your next book also. How to Land a Rich Man. Is this for Gold Diggers?

No. And I'm going to read. I created the title because we knew it would catch attention.

It is a good title.

So that's why the title is, like, Sex with Emily.

I don't have sex, actually. I just talk about it.

Yeah, but the book is about how to make yourself a better version of you to attract financially secure men. And A Rich man is based on the Level of a girl. So to someone. A rich man can be someone who makes $100,000. To someone else, it might be someone who makes a million dollars, two million dollars. So when someone. When someone looks at the book, it's not merely just about rich men in general, like multi, multi millionaires. It's based on each level with the girl, so they can use it against them. But it talks about. You ever go, like, for instance, you're with your girlfriend. I'm giving you the perfect example. You're with your girlfriends and you're at a party and everything else. And you look at your girlfriend like, God, she looks great. Oh, I love her shoes. And you start admiring little things about each woman in a room. The reason why we do that is because we wish that there was a part of us that was like each and every one of those girls to make ourselves better. And what I teach in the book is how to go and make yourself that better person that you always look at someone else and you're like, oh, I want that I teach that to a woman so that she can become that. And teaching them that rich men do not want girls who are not financially secure. And by financially secure, I'm not saying you have to make a ton of money.

Right. These are why I think that you're gonna ask to pay a raise on the second date.

These rich men are happy if you make $20,000 a year, because that shows that you're trying to.

Right, Exactly. You're not just waiting around for some sugar daddy.

Exactly. So for them, it teaches what rich men are looking for. You know, they want to back. It was so funny because you go back 10 years. Ten years ago, a rich man wanted a beautiful face. Now if you ask majority of the rich men, they would say, well, beautiful face depreciates like any other asset. And now they're looking for more substance with that beautiful face.

Right.

Oh, good.

I'm glad that's changed. Or they divorce her and get someone younger with.

No. A lot of the rich men that I'm around, and I'm around a lot of them, a lot of them are actually wanting substance now.

I love to hear that. Moving towards a more substance culture.

Exactly. So the book teaches you how to create more substance, how to fit into their world, how to understand and educate yourself all the different things so that you can actually speak instead of sounding like some dumb Barbie doll.

Right. So you. So it's training for women also to.

Build their confidence in training to make a woman better for herself so that she can find that financially secure guy.

So. But, so really at the end of the day though, she is looking for a guy to take care of her. Is that why she wants. Are you just saying that men who are successful and financially, it's someone who's. It's good. Like I always say, like at my age, where I'm at, I'm like, I want to date a guy who's successful. I don't care if he's like a gazillionaire. But because I'm, you know, you want to date someone who's. So that's the aspirational part. If someone didn't have a job and he was lying around not doing anything.

Exactly.

I wouldn't be interested. Just because I'm like, what are you doing?

It's not a gold digging book. It's. I'm. I want to make sure whoever I date is either the same as me or better.

Right.

I don't want to date someone below me. And it's nothing that I'm being this rude, obnoxious person is. To be honest, most divorces happen because of financial issues.

Right? It's financial or sex.

So you basically are going to end up in a divorce. If you're fighting about money, you can't pay the bill. So if you can avoid that by securing yourself a financially secure guy, you know what? Yes, there's love in marriage. Yes, there's, you know, passion and all those things. But how many times you see rich men going and saying, I need you to sign a prenup. That makes it a business arrangement.

Exactly.

So why as a woman, you can't go in there and be a little bit more strategic and be like the same way you're being strategic about your money? I'm being strategic about the men that I choose.

Right. So if he asks you for a prenup, you say no.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the man asking for a prenup.

But then you're not even getting his success if you don't get divorced. Wrong. I jump to the fact that he's gonna.

No, because if you, first of all, in any prenups, you put clauses in, he cheats on you. Is this if you've been married for this period of time?

You get a certain amount.

You get a certain amount. But to be honest, a prenup is anything that he's made before. That doesn't mean that it counts. Right.

She's saying it's half. Exactly. Then he starts hiding it. Once you get married, no Just kidding. But really. But what? No, but what are these? So, so you're saying to women, like if you haven't thought. Because I guess a lot of them maybe think it's wealthy guys beneath me. He'll look at me in a certain way, but because I've never thought about that. I mean I like, I've dated guys with money, I've dated artists, I've dated everyone. But I never prioritize that because now that I am, have had more success, I mean, it's just nicer. I don't want to be paying for dinner the whole time. But I know what you're saying and also I think that's interesting is that you can learn. I have a lot of wealthy friends and I've dated men and I mostly the men I've dated who have money, I just, I admire them usually for what they, they're usually like self made or they, they, they've created something or they're passionate about their job. Like if you're successful, it's not even just about the money. It's like, it's that you, you really excel at something and that's sexy. The fact that you're passionate and you love what you do and you created this, this amazing job, this wealth, whatever it is like that's attractive in a way that's, you know, even more than you can go buy me this dress that I really want at Barney's, which I actually really do want.

But you know what, which is great. I mean, you know, what's the good thing about with this finding a rich man thing? The girls will go and they'll say, okay, I want this rich guy and everything else, but you're asking me to change so much about myself. And I'm like, well just think about it. If you start changing certain things to make yourself better and this rich guy gets attracted to you, he's going to help you grow to be better. So at one point you're no longer going to need this rich guy because of your own growth and what he.

Brings to the table of what they change. Give me an example of like, like the top thing, two things that you tell women to change at the beginning or that you they have work on about themselves.

One is presence. And I'm not saying you have to be absolutely beautiful. Because if you go and Google a lot of these rich men, you don't see the most beautiful princesses on their side. But you know, keep yourself maintained, making sure, you know, you work out, you dress up nice, you wear your hair and Your makeup. Nice. You have to maintain yourself, period. That's one, two. Educate yourself. That would be most important. Learn a little bit about arts, politics, economics, everything. Because when you're in these environments, you're going to have these discussions and if all you can say is.

They'Re not going to give you time of day, they're just going to think, oh, you're just some dumb girl that they're keeping.

Around who's the vice president.

Exactly. And the third thing is, even if you're making 10, 15, 20,000, keep your debt ratio low. A guy wants a woman that he doesn't have to worry about pay.

He'll do a background check on you.

Exactly. So you can make a little bit of money, but try to keep your debt as low as possible so that he sees that you're actually. You're working on making sure you're financially secure. And that attracts him to you a little bit more because then he doesn't have to worry about you wasting and spending his money.

Okay, that's great advice for women, I guess, all around. That they should. Yeah. Feel good about because that will give them confidence. Because we're just saying that men sometimes don't have a lot of confidence as women. That women are insecure about their looks, their weight maybe. Yeah. Their financial position. And they don't feel good about themselves. So they don't feel that they're worthy for someone to date. And that's most time why women people are not in relationships because they feel bad about themselves, men and women.

I have this girlfriend of mine and she was gonna date a really good friend of mine and it was like the perfect relationship. I was like, I got this. They're gonna be together. And she ruined it. And I asked her, why did you ruin it? She goes, because he's above my status.

Right. And I'm like, she didn't feel she deserved it.

What do you mean? I'm like, you were exactly perfect for what he was looking for. And she's like, yeah, but he's above me. He's this. And I said, that's the problem. You can't think that they're above you. You gotta make sure that you guys are equal. And it doesn't matter that he makes more money than you. If you can mess with his mind and make him feel that he's. You're challenging his brain, then guess what? He's not above you then.

Exactly.

Now you're an equal.

Don't even think like that. Like, I never think that anyone is ever above me. Or below me. I don't any. But that's how my mind works. I've never done that with anyone. But if you can somehow switch your thinking, I think it comes from maybe your upbringing or your parent or whatever. I don't know how people are insecure like that. They, they are constantly comparing themselves to others and you just gotta. Every time you find yourself going off in those spaces where you're feeling bad about yourself. I always tell Lily, if you can catch yourself in that thought and like say three positive things yourself or whatever, because it's.

I say it's never good to say anything negative about yourself.

Right, Exactly.

You should always go and determine what your positives do. A list of things you want to change and things that you like and work off that list. But don't make negatives because if you have negatives and a negative process of working your head and that's what drives you to make the wrong choices.

Exactly. Because you know. Exactly. So even before you get in a relationship, you need to do some of this work on yourself before you can find a healthy person for you. Because when you're not healthy, you're like half a person. And you're going to find someone else who's half a person because they haven't done their work. And then you're going to end up. And maybe you'll make one person but it won't be a very good couple, I'll tell you that. So. Okay. Shy love, thank you so much for being on the show. I so appreciate it. People can find you@moneylovesuccess.com you have a lot going on there. They can get your books, your programs.

They can get books, programs, seminars, one on one consultations. You can also call 1-844-for-SUCCESS, which is my direct line to the company to speak to me as well.

I love it. Okay, well, thank you so much for being on the show. That's awesome. And also one more thing I have to say is another one of our sponsors that we have to just give a shout out to, which is why I can do the show for you, is the very best number one male selling sex toy, which is a Fleshlight. Have you ever used a flashlight in your career or seen.

No, but I have a couple of girlfriends that have flashlights with their names.

On it and they do. They do, right? Exactly. So it feels like having sex for men even if you don't have a partner. The Fleshlight is the most popular male sex toy. It stimulates the sensations of sex. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. And some guys think it feels better than sex. It does. I hope you like to have sex still, but go to sexemily.com fleshlight to get your fleshlight. That's sexwithemily.com fleshlight and also, it helps people with stamina, guys with stamina who don't last long enough, like we were talking about earlier. And I just gave one to a friend. He's like, I'd leave my wife if it could cook. So check that out. Shy love. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks, Anderson, for being so wonderful, per usual and anything else you have to say. Anderson.

It's very noisy in here. There's a lot of chatter going on.

What's going on? We got Loveline coming out, everyone.

What new film vault for film listeners, film viewers, film watchers.

Film Vault is your podcast.

Film vault, if you can hear me over Drew. But we did summer preview, which is a really good episode.

All the five biggest movies you need.

To know about everyone.

Check it. Okay, thanks, everyone, for listening. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Sex with Emily. And thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily was a good freaking you. Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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Perhaps play a little game called Just the Tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels.

Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the Art of Charm podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in itunes.

I'm Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast, the number one sex and relationship podcast on iTunes and@sexwithemily.com and this is just the tip, you know.

Something that I never thought that I would be a fan of, that, you know, cropped up a little bit lately, is dirty talk, you know, and it's funny because every guy's like, I totally do that. Or they're like, I never do that. But I feel like you change. You can fall right into this, and sometimes it can be pretty awesome.

Exactly. I think that couples, you know, you're right. It's not for everyone, but the couples who do get into it, I think can really be that extra spice that a relationship needs. And also, the brain is our Largest sex organ, truly. Especially for women. We want to hear words. We do want to be turned on. I mean, they might in dirty talk. A great way to start, I always say, is describe a situation. Describe it as it's happening. So you feel so great right now, or I love the way I feel inside you. I mean, it doesn't have to be, like. You don't have to get into, like, the hardcore whatever, but you can just start by, you know, describing what's happening in the moment.

Right. It doesn't have to be, like, disgusting.

Yeah. Or explaining what you'd like to do. Like, I can't wait to get home tonight, I take your clothes off.

Yeah.

I mean, whatever. That's like starting a starting point. But just describe the things that you're thinking. Except for those other things that you're thinking.

Right. Except for don't ever share your true feelings.

Just like, I can't wait to see you later. You looked so hot when you left this morning. Like, this can start in small always.

Right? Exactly. Okay.

So cool.

And how do you test the waters for this? Like, maybe whisper something in her ear, like, hey, I can't wait to get you home later. And then see if she's like, oh, that's hot. Or if she's like, mind your manners.

Exactly. And then if she does that. Yeah. She might not be. She might not be. She might not be the candidate for it. But, you know, I also know people who sext all the time, and they're like, oh, yeah, I sent this girl really hot text, and she was like, didn't respond. Or she was like, smiley face. He's like, there. I knew I was like, shut down.

Winky.

Like, wink. You're not contributing to the sex. I guess this isn't gonna happen, so you gotta test it out first.

Here's a picture of my dick winky face.

Right.

That's so funny.

Or she deletes her number.

Right. Quote, unquote, loses your number.

Right.

If you guys want to learn more from the Art of Charm about dating, relationships, and even networking for business, Visit us at theartofcharmpodcast.com or check us out on itunes and follow me on Twitter at the Art of Character Charm.

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