The Do’s and Don’ts of Valentine’s Day

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The reason why blindfolds work is because whenever we take away one sense, all the other become more heightened. And so when you blindfold your partner, you get to play around with different temperatures. Actually, this is a great way to play with the massage candle because if their eyes are closed, you drip the warm oil on their body. They're like, it's just going to feel incredible and even more intense. You could take some feathers. Just play around with sensations. Do a little blindfold. It's really fun.

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Help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. All right, Valentine's Day is coming up and I'm here to make sure it's your best one yet. In this episode, I get into some common Valentine's Day myths. Things you should never do on the sexy holiday. And after that, I'll share some creative ways you should celebrate to ensure that your Valentine's Day is extra hot this year. Intimate and of course sexy. Plus, I share some of my listeners favorite Valentine's Day moments for some super hot inspiration. Please rate Interview Sex with Emily Wherever you listen to this show, it really helps to get our show out to more people. This is from Haley in Canada. She said, I just want to say a big thank you. I love your show and I wish I had a resource like this 15 years ago. Despite only discovering your podcast two months ago, I've already listened to over a hundred episodes and can safely say you've changed my life for the better in so many ways. Wow, Haley, thank you for listening to 100 episodes. My new article, how to do the Kibbutz Method is up on sexwithemily.com plus my new Valentine's Day guide is out now. Now this year I am sharing these sexiest Valentine's Day date ideas for every stage of your relationship. Okay, so whether you're just getting to know someone, know when you're like, what do I do? Do I make a big ordeal? Do I just do something casual? Or maybe you're in a long term or a long distance relationship. Or maybe you have multiple partners. Good on you. Do you get something for everyone? What do you do? Or maybe you're keeping it super casual, but you still want to give a nod to Valentine's Day. This guide will help you have the sexiest Valentine's Day yet. I promise. Make sure to check it out at sex with emily.com and I'll link it in the show notes. All right everyone, enjoy this episode.

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Hi everyone. I'm coming to you from my hotel room. The Equinox Hotel in New York City. This is an incredible hotel. It's really beautiful here. But I'm freezing my ass off. Now I remember why I moved to California. But I do love New York. First I'm here to co host the swells sex symposium. Everyone came out even in the snow. It was the first time it had snowed in New York. In 700 days. Okay. The event was called for noon. At 11:35. It starts downpouring snow. And it's cold, it's already windy. But then it starts snowing, and we're like, are these hundreds of women who committed to be in New York and show up and talk about sex, are they going to show up? What's going to happen? Sure enough, the doors opened and people started pouring in, and it really was a magical day of connection and talk about sex. I mean, because we have to remember this. You're all listening to this podcast. You're all pretty comfortable with this sex conversation. You have decided that you want a growth mindset around sex. You've listened to the Sex With Only podcast. But for many people, they haven't been around a bunch of women they don't know talking about sex. Sex and health and wellness. And I'm just super grateful to have been a part of it. I met a lot of listeners, and I just love meeting you in person. I realize that that really is one of the most special parts of my job is getting to meet you. Give me a shout out, a dm, an email. Let me know what you'd like to see more of these live events. Because my plan is to do more live podcasts in person with all of you in 2024. So would you come out and say hi? Would you do it? So it was a wonderful day. There were so many great speakers there, and I'm just still riding high from that wave. So thank you, everyone, for coming. Let me know what you thought of. It was so honored to be part of the swell. And so right now, though, I want to talk about Valentine's Day. It's almost February. I mean, but let's be honest. You go into your local pharmacy, your local grocery store, and it's all red, and you see the chocolates, and you see the hearts, and you can't escape it. And no matter who you are, you know that there's, like, a thought, a glimmer. Valentine's Day. Do I need to get a card for my mom, my partner, my lover, my friends? I mean, you just know that it is the month, the entire month. It's going to be about Valentine's Day, whether you love it or hate it. So I just want to help you along here in this episode so you can make Valentine's Day work for you. Because baseline, it's a day of love. It's a day of connection. It's a day where you can think about and reflect upon the love in your Life, the connection in your life. I love doing something on this day for my friends. Send them a note, send them cards and presents. Depending on how up on my tasks I am, depending on how much time I have. But I always message my friends, I always think about love, and I always think about what can I do also for myself. Okay. Because if it is a day of love, what can you do for yourself this Valentine's Day? Do you want to have a dinner with friends? Do you want to get yourself something special? And if you're in a relationship, well, there is something to do on this day. Because no matter what, whether you're like, that's a stupid consumer holiday, I don't want to do anything. If you're in a relationship, there's going to be something probably expected, even low key expected, if your partner was like, that's stupid. I don't want to do anything. I just think, why not? If it's a day about connection, I like to think this is a day also to think about your sex life. Be intentional about your relationship. Be intentional about your intimacy. That being said, it is a day of being intentional about your relationship and your intimate life if you are in an intimate relationship. So is there one thing that you could do on this day or this week that would strengthen your relationship? Okay. Okay. So I'm going to be honest, and this is controversial. I am not so into going out to a nice restaurant paying like double the price that you normally would on this day because they made you a special menu and it costs a lot more money and there's a lot more couples sitting around. Or flowers. Flowers are super, like, they're a lot more. They're like. I think they jack up their price by 50%. I would do. If I was a florist, I would charge a shit ton for roses on this day. And if I had a restaurant, I would charge more. But for me, I like to think about doing something that's about connection, something different. So, for example, last year I surprised my partner got out the massage table. I mean, if you know me, you know, I love a massage table. I set up the massage table. I got this fondue kit off of Amazon. You literally light. Okay. I don't know if I talked about this. You light a candle, like a, you know, like one of those votive candles, and you light that for like 20 minutes, the chocolate melts. It was literally the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. Because I am not a chef. I don't cook, I don't do any of that I didn't have to leave my bedroom. It was a candle that I would have lit anyway, put some chocolate chips on, and there it was. There was some chocolate fondue, because I love chocolate. So he came into the room, I had candles lit, I had some music playing. I told him to lay down, put a blindfold on him, started to massage him, and I, you know, fed us some chocolates, used my favorite massage oils, used a massage candle, as I often do, and we ate the chocolate, had some little, like, strawberries we could dip it in. It was just a special fun night for us. And now I'm thinking about what to do this year. And so I want to give you some ideas too. These ideas I'm going to cover are for all of us. To be honest, I haven't quite decided yet what I'm going to do. But as we're going along, it doesn't have to be a high pressure situation. You could have a great conversation about sex on this holiday. You could do the yes, no maybe list leading up to Valentine's Day. So you know that there's a few things I want to try with my partner. A lot of you came up to me, even at the swell event and said, your guest no maybe list was a game changer. There was one woman in her 70s who came up to me and said, she is having the very best sex of her life, of a partner of 50 years. And they did the Esther maybe list and realized that they had all these yeses after decades together, they had yeses of things they had never tried. I didn't ask her to break down what those yeses were. I didn't need to get into her sex life. I. She was already telling me a lot. For all those years together, there were still so many things to try. So I guarantee you that if you are in a relationship right now, you have some yeses. And you can easily download our yes, no maybe list. It is a free downloadable guide that has over 80 sex acts on it. And you and your partner can take it together. You know, there's a bunch of things from dirty talking to anal play to spanking to like, cuddling more taking a bath together. Is it a yes? Is it no? Is it a maybe? You could also just do this on Valentine's Day. You could do it at dinner, wherever, and say, like, what's one thing we can try tonight? Because let me remind you, in a relationship, it's always about novelty, variety, style, spontaneity. What can you do that's different? So the yes, no maybe is going to give you something. I promise to try a little bit different. And. Oh, there's my idea. My partner. I did the yes, no maybe list. I have it in my notes, in my phone. I'm going to pull it up, and I'm going to set up a few of those things for us to do on Valentine's Day. Okay? So that's what I'm going to do. And this whole episode is going to be chock full of things that maybe you could do in your relationship. But first, I'm going to get into some Valentine's Day myths so we can clear this all out. There's a myth that Valentine's Day is all about her, that she doesn't have to do anything. The guy's got to do all the things for the woman, and she's going to, you know, just receive all of these gifts. And I think if you're in a relationship, that it's an equal opportunity to do something special for each other. It could be a love note. If your partner's love language is words of affirmation, why not write them something that let them know what you feel about them and what you love about them? Like, write them something really special. It could be a text, it could be a card, something like that that lets you know that I'm thinking about you. You have to celebrate on Valentine's Day. Well, this year it's on a Wednesday. I gotta work on Thursday morning. What about you? If you gotta work this week and you're like, I cannot get it together on Wednesday. You are allowed. I'm giving you permission to do it on the weekend. You've already got plans this weekend. Do it in two weeks from now. But just setting an intention that we're gonna do something, but there's like, zero pressure that you gotta, like, knock it all out on Wednesday. Let's clear some of that. I just want to make this as easy for you as possible so you're not walking around seeing all the red hearts and all the flowers and thinking, shit, I didn't do any things you should never do on Valentine's Day, in my opinion. Forget to plan something special ahead of time. This is why we got this whole episode dedicated to give you some easy ideas and things you can do. Don't forget to recognize it. We all know that it's there. It's the elephant in the room. It's the red elephant in the room on this day. So do something. The next thing is, don't bring up any old drama you don't need to drag things out from the past. If there's something that's just on your mind and you've been wanting to talk about it, don't do it on Valentine's Day. Okay? Let's just bring it up another time. And in fact, bringing up old drama rarely works in a relationship. Because if it was a problem in the past, bringing it up again a few months or a few years later, I guarantee you it's not going to be any better right now. And typically, the things that we fight about in a relationship are not really about the details about what happened. They're about some underlying issues. And usually they're about patterns in the relationships and not just one thing. You don't need to bring it up on this Valentine's Day. Next, don't let one person take the reins entirely. Like I said, even if you do something small, maybe your partner said to you, I've got it. I've got a whole plan for us. Well, then you can still show up with a card or a little, you know, their favorite chocolate or their favorite something that you know your partner likes. Just do something intentional in your relationship. Next, do your best not to skip the sex. Try to have some kind of sex on Valentine's Day. You know, a lot of couples go through droughts in their relationship. I heard a lot about that this week at the Swell. And again, you've got time. You know, it's coming up. What can you do for your relationship that is intimate? It could be an intimate massage. It could just be a great makeout session. Try to do some kind. Something kind of connected and intimate. Again, it doesn't have to be on Wednesday, but this month try to infuse some new element into your intimate life. And finally, this is a great day to be really grateful for the love that you have in your life. So try not to express an attitude other than gratitude on Valentine's Day, because if you have any kind of love in your life, be grateful. I know that I'm super grateful for the love in my life. I'm grateful for all the listeners of this show that allow me to head into this 19th year of doing the podcast. So when we ground ourselves in gratitude, I will be the first or last person to tell you that. But God, it really works. It really just you just feel your heart fill up because we all have things to be super grateful about. I am going to get into some sexy things to do for Valentine's Day. If you're seeing somebody special right now or you're in a relationship. But I want to say that there were years in my life where I did feel kind of bad that I wasn't with somebody or maybe I was going through a breakup. I remember times where I was just like, oh, I hope that this person reaches out to me. Or I was thinking about an ex and I just stayed home and felt bad. And that was many, many years ago. And now I've realized it personally, if I'm not in a relationship or I'm feeling bad, it's just a great night that I've made it a mission that I never wanted to feel that way again. Like, again. I did feel bad in the past. And so I made plans with my friends. I had some girls over. Like, this was one year, we had like a potluck. I'm like, everyone come over. We're going to watch something on tv. We're going to eat, we're going to drink, we're going to have some wine and we're just going to hang out. Because that's where I get my energy from and my love from is my friends. They are the sure thing. And I just want you all to feel good and surround yourself with love and your friends. And there's a lot of you can do on this day. Also guarantee if you Google like Valentine's Day in my area or you go to a meetup, there is something happening in your town that could be interesting. A movie, art exhibits, a meetup. I mean, shit. It's also a great day if you are looking and you want to meet some people. What a great day to be single. Because if you are not in a relationship, you are definitely out somewhere. Maybe you're like at a bar, there's music or something happening in your town where you could check it out and meet other people. So you know, we're not going to meet people sitting at home. And I know that maybe you're swiping in on apps right now, which is most people are doing. But one of my predictions for 2024 is that we are going to see more connections in person, live with each other, waiting in line for something. You know, going to an event, do something that scares you. Say yes to something that you would normally say no to. So I'm asking all of you to think ahead. Make a plan. Do something. This Valentine's Day, if you don't have plans that you wouldn't normally do, get outside the box. Get outside your comfort zone. I can tell you from years of experience, every time I have a hard no on something I take a look at myself and I think, why is that a no? Sometimes it is a no. But many times there's fear. And fear, let me remind you, is false evidence appearing real. F E A R. And fear is what is holding us back from growth and from connection and from love and from intimacy. So even if it's not on February 14th, what kind of thing can you sign up for? Or what can you do in your life to create more connection and love in your life? Because the other thing for 2024 that isn't so great is this loneliness epidemic that is just rampant. And the antidote to loneliness is connection. See what's going on in your world, around your world, in your vicinity, this Valentine's Day, this month. Stick around, lovers. I'll be right back after a quick break to share some creative ideas to make this Valentine's Day extra sexy.

Now that we've discussed the don'ts on Valentine's Day, it's time to let you know what you should do on this sexy holiday.

All right.

If you are in a relationship, I mean, are just seeing someone, you're having sex with someone, you're connected with somebody, here's some sexy, creative ways to celebrate. Number one, recreate your first date. Why I love this idea is because it's a reminder of why you both fell in love in the first place. It's also a great idea because even if things have been a little rocky or less intimate lately, things aren't. You know, you're not in the best place in your relationship. There have been a lot of studies that have shown that reminiscing about the early stages of your relationship is positively associated with relationship satisfaction. So do you ever find in a relationship that you and your partner talk about things like, I remember when I first saw you, or you talk about your first date or that first month or two, and you get those feelings inside of you. There's a reason why we reminisce about that a lot, and it's because it actually makes us feel good. We also get a release of those feel good hormones and we feel more connected to our partner. So recreating your first date, now, even if you were in a different city and you can't quite do that, you could try to think about some of the elements. Maybe it was the kind of food you had, or maybe it was the outfit you wore, or perhaps it was just a conversation you had. Try to recreate the first date. In fact, I think that's what I'm going to do this year. I Want to thank myself for that idea. Next, set this scene. Now, anytime you want to have sex, but especially on Valentine's Day, you have to make sure the mood is set just right. Because when the room is a mess, the opposite of setting the mood is, like, things are a disaster. It looks like how it always looks, and it's not set up. So I love to set the mood by number one, lighting a candle. I always light candles. I don't use overhead light. Overhead light is the biggest buzzkill. I can't even take it in a office space and meetings. Like, I don't want overhead light, but I certainly don't want it when I'm trying to get in the mood and connect with my partner. So have candles ready to go. Light a candle. I am obsessed with massage candles. I have been since the first time I used one. They're basically sexy candles that you light. They smell amazing, and then you blow them out and they turn into this most luxurious massage oil that you can rub all over yourself and your partner's body. We also have some in our shop site, which I can include a link, but they are just a game changer. Have several candles. I mean, really, if you just light a bunch of candles, like, you're halfway there. But a great way to think about this, actually, is to think about your senses. When I think about, what do I need in this room to feel in the mood, to feel in my body? I literally go around the senses. So I think, okay, set. That could be the candle. That could be a diffuser with essential oils. Right? We want a great scent, then we want sound. Why not create a sexy playlist or maybe put some of your favorite songs that you listen to, you know, with your partner or things that remind you of your relationship. It's funny. When I was leaving for New York without my partner last week, I was leaving, and as I was, like, walking out the door for Uber, he was, like, playing our song, and I was like, oh, you're playing our first song. Like, did you just do that? Because I went to give him a hug, and he has headphones on. And I know that he probably did because he's a very, like, romantic. And he was like, just think about us, and here's our song. And so there's a. There's so much power in music and in, you know, things that kind of bring you back to your connection. So be intentional about the music and what you hear on this, you know, to set the scene. So this would be fun to have some of your favorite food that's why last year, like, my partner and I love chocolate. And that's why I did the fondue in the bedroom. I had a massage table in the fondue. So, like, are there any, like, little treats you guys like eating your favorite chocolates? Think about setting that up. Candles are also part of the sight sense. But look around your room. Clear out the clutter. I've got a lot of clutter in my room. Although sometimes it's just a lot of bunch of sex toys I need to try. But I like to clear out the boxes, clean the bathroom, make sure that it looks great. So, you know, get some flowers, fresh flowers in the bedroom. And then touch always make sure that you have things on your bed that make you feel good. Make sure that your sheets are clean. Oh, my God. Have I told you all the stories about guys I've dated that just have like really brillowy sheets? Like, just don't be that person. I mean, this could mean gifting your partner, you and your partner some new sheets this Valentine's Day. I've been obsessed with cozy earth sheets for a long time. They always talk about they were Oprah's favorites. I think I liked them before Oprah did. They are luxurious and they are temperature regulating, so you stay cool all night. I'm going to leave a link for those in the show notes if you need some new sheets. I get new sheets once a year, to be honest, because I just do. That's how I celebrate myself. The next sexy way to celebrate. Blindfold your partner and experiment with new sensations. This is one of the easiest, yet sexiest ways to try one thing new blindfold your partner. You could use a bandana. You could use a, a scarf. You know, you could use whatever you want that could wrap around your partner's head and play around with some new sensations. The reason why blindfolds work is because whenever we take away one sense sense, all the other senses become more heightened. And so when you blindfold your partner, you get to play around with different temperatures. Actually, this is a great way to play with the massage candle because if their eyes are closed, you start to drip the warm oil on their body. They're like, it's just going to feel incredible and even more intense. You could take some feathers. Just play around with sensations. Do a little blindfold. It's really hot and it's an easy, fun way to play. Also for temperature play, which is why we love the blindfold. You could have the candle and then you could have like a bowl of ice cubes near the bed. So you can, like, alternate between hot and cold. There's some toys you can put in the freezer, too. There are toys you can boil, actually. If you have a glass dildo, you gotta check it, but you can boil it and freeze it. If you haven't ever played with the temperature play, you guys, this is the year to do it. And then you could also, whether blindfolded, play with different foods. Like, feed them some delicious strawberries, you know, some chocolate, some whipped cream, you know, something warm, something cool, something delicious, some ice cream. Like, lick stuff off their bodies, right? Like, pour some, you know, chocolate sauce on them and, like, lick it off. I mean, it is, like, such a fun, sexy, sensual thing to do. So, you know, have some fun with food. And these are all things you can do at home that aren't going to, like, cost you a zillion dollars that are just really fun and are playing up all of your senses. It's intimate, and I promise it'll be the night that you will both remember. And it might just be the thing that you need in your relationship to spark a new connection. Next, try a new toy together. Now, here's the thing I often emphasize. Try something new. But here's why. Think about it. Every time you and your partner do something new together, whether it's, you know, you're going on a vacation, you are trying a new class together, you're going to a new restaurant, there's a reason why that feels so good and it's exciting, and you look forward to it. And why we all love exploring new places in adventure is because we are learning. We're playing together. It's just a new way to connect with our partner. And we're both in that learning stage. So when we're in a learning stage, we're super focused. We feel connected. It's a shared experience, and it's really, really sexy. You know, toys are not just for people with vulvas. It's for penis owners as well. And so there's just so many ways you guys can play together, and it definitely won't be the same old sexual experiences that you've always been having together. And so anytime we add something new, that is the novelty that I'm talking about. I'm always recommending sex toys. I mean, come on. But especially on Valentine's Day for, like, what do I get my partner? We haven't played with toys yet. I've been wanting to talk to my partner about toys. I've been wanting to try that new lube. Like, I Am giving you permission and I am telling you, after two decades of work, this is the day. If you haven't done it yet or you've been waiting or you've been wanting to up level your sex toy collection, this is the day to buy a toy. This is a great way to, like, surprise your partner with a toy. Like, surprise your partner with something new on Valentine's Day. If you and your partner have talked about buying a toy or, God, we really need a new toy, like, go ahead, surprise them with a new toy. If you've never brought toys into your relationship before and you have never really tried anything new, then I recommend chatting about it first. So what's your take on sex toys is something you've been wanting to try and then you get to buy the toy. You know, unfortunately, a lot of people still have stigmas around toys or they believe all these things that it's threatening or you're just going to replace them. And people still believe these things. So if you want to have a conversation to clear it first and you've never used a toy, do that, see how they feel and then buy them a new toy. Now, you could check out the guide that I mentioned earlier for some inspiration as well as on my shop site, that is the store to get your Valentine's Day gifts. I've got panty vibes, I've got gift sets, I've got couples toys. And if you really want to blow your partner socks off, you got to try the Magic Wand. This Valentine's Day. I was so excited because we gave a magic wand to everybody at the swell event and people were very, very happy about it. We gave him the mini. I love the Magic Wand. It is a powerful, really fun vibrator for everybody. Get the mini, get the micro. Check out the magic Wand. And let's talk about couples toys for a minute. When I say couples toys, what do I mean by that? Well, to be honest, a lot of toys can be used as couples toys and here's why. If you have a penis or you have a vulva, any kind of toy is going to feel great when you use it on the shaft of the penis, on the tip of the penis, all over the vulva, the vagina. So a lot of toys you can use in different ways, but specifically when I say it's a wearable toy, it means that you can have penetrative sex. If you have a vulva, a penis can go inside of you while you're also wearing a toy. Why this is cool is because the penis can Slip inside at the same time. So, yes, it's stimulating your G spot, but there's still room for a penis to go inside of you. Let me remind you that the vibration feels good on your G area and on the penis. So talk about a shared couple experience. Talk about experience that you'll both remember trying something new, which will also bond you together more like. That's why we would say, like couples who play together, stay together, find a partner who likes to have adventures. A couple's toy is a really pleasurable adventure and it feels good for everybody. Plus, we know if you have a vulva, you're likely going to require a lot of clitoral stimulation during penetration to have an orgasm. So a couple's toy does that magic, giving you the clitoral stimulation, the G spot stimulation, plus you get a penis inside of you. It's the whole deal. It's literally everything you ever probably wanted during sex. So try one of these out this Valentine's Day. And a great couple's toy to try out, Lelo makes this Tiani duo. It's a next level composite massager. You wear it during penetration. If you want to try that out, Lelo is offering up to 50% off site wide through the end of February for their little Valentine's Day gift to you. So just check them out and I'll put a link in the show notes to make it easy for you. Another sexy idea is play a sexy game. You can play these sexy card games. You've been feeling like you and your partner are just, oh, God, we have to sit through a dinner again. We have nothing new to say to each other. We're bored. Get one of these card games that are giving you things to talk about and things that maybe you've never talked about, like a rule I secretly love to break is. Or a dream I've never shared or my most irrational fear, a text message I fantasize about sending. Like, things like that. They're props. They're to get the conversation going. There's also fun games you can play with friends. Like, you could all get together and ask each other different questions together. I just love all these, the games that are popping up everywhere. There's sexy truth or dare card games. There's actually an app that's a truth or dare dirty game. You don't have to go out. You can just be like, at dinner, pull up an app on your phone and be like, okay, babe, tonight we're going to play a sexy game together. And side note, if you do go to Dinner, no judgment. Also, great time to get a panty vibe. This is the night. Panty vibes are made for Valentine's Day. Let me remind you, a panty vibe, you wear it in your underwear. Has little clips so it stays in place. Comes with a remote that you can. Your partner could control through an app. So anytime they want, throughout dinner, they can, like turn the vibrator on and like, start to vibe. You know, who knows? Like, the waiter comes over, take your order, and it's like in your underwear, but no one can hear it. You're just getting turned on, right? It's just so fun. I mean, Valentine's Day synonymous with penny by. We've got those in our gift guide as well, so you got to check that out. You can also try learning something new together. Listen, if you guys get aroused through conversation. I know I do. You could try taking a cooking class, a hot yoga class. You could try a masterclass. I just did this with my partner. We were flying back from somewhere a few months ago and they had masterclass on the airplane. Okay, if you guys don't know masterclass, I did a masterclass on sex. I loved Chris Voss's class on negotiation skills. I know that's not a sexy class. You should take my class on masterclass. That's a sexy class. But really, I said to my partner, I said, you have to watch this Chris Voss. It's so good. And then I want to talk to you about it after because sometimes he and I just get into work talk and other things. So he watched it, I watch it, and then we like have this whole conversation now about how to talk to each other using these negotiation skills. And it's been so fun. Like, I'm sort of obsessed with masterclass. Other classes they have is like intentional eating with Michael Pollan Yoga Foundations. And you know the cool thing about masterclass, I honestly would probably not have known about them until I did their first wellness course. But there's so many classes I've taken on there. And it's weird because I've taken a lot of classes in my life, but something about the way they produce classes and they're only like about an hour and a half or two hours. They're all in 10 minute to 12 minute chunks. And they just keep you like gripped. And there's stuff that I didn't even care about that I watched class on. Like, I remember I took classes on writing. I took like a comedy class from Steve Martin. It's cool. But like, just remember, you get aroused through conversation. Masterclass is like a fun, sexy way to do it. I'll actually leave a link for masterclass in the show notes. They just keep getting better and better. Maybe you get around to conversation. I get aroused when my partner and I deeply share our traumas. I think he said that the other day like around my whole team. He's like, emily loves when we talk about his traumas. I'm like, tell me your deepest childhood wound. Now I'm ready to go. Remember, we all get to find what our turn ons are and I have no shame in my trauma game. Another fun game, sexy stranger. Like really go to your favorite bar if you always go there, but then each of you show up as a different name. Pick each other up at the bar. Believe me, I know you're like, but I know my partner. So what? Just try this one and hi, my name is like Sarah and just be somebody else. It's a really fun way to play with your partner. Get into the character. It's okay if you laugh and joke, but you'll have that moment where you're like, what if I didn't know my partner and and I just met them for the first time at a bar and your mind kind of like flip it for a second and be like, oh yeah, he's so cute. She's so great. This is why we fell in love. Play sexy stranger. It's a fun night to do it. Last creative way to play on Valentine's Day, get some cannabis, get some edibles. If you haven't tried any edibles yet that are specifically made for your playtime, for your arousal, for your desire, take an edible. It's such a great way to get out of your head and into your body. That's exactly what it does. So if you find yourself distracted, you're thinking all these thoughts, take an edible, wait a little bit and then you'll just start to feel more just connected. You'll feel connected to your body, connected to your partner. I'm only taken via hemp company's edibles. They've got these high love THC libido gummies. They are made to get you in the mood for sex. All right, those were some sexy creative ideas to celebrate Valentine's Day if you are in a couple. But what if you're single? What are you going to do this Valentine's Day? Well, this is from Cameron, 49 in the UK. Hey, Dr. Emily. I know Valentine's Day is coming up shortly and I'm currently single. I'd like to know what a single guy can do to celebrate this day by taking my solo pleasure to the next level to heighten the whole experience. Oh, I love a dude who's like, I know I've been masturbating with my hand and my penis, but I want to try something new. All right, so first, if you always use your left hand, use your right hand. If you always watch some kind of porn, maybe don't watch this porn and just focus on your sensations. You can try a mindful masturbation routine where you're just thinking about, you know, what feels good to you. You can get a stroker or a cock ring or play with vibrations. Hey, also a great day to try prostate play. If you've never tried anything in your anus, this is the day to try it. Maybe I'm the first person, but I will not be the last person to tell you that if you have a penis, you have a prostate. And if you've been thinking about stimulating it, Happy Valentine's Day. This is a great way. You can just use your finger if you'd like with some lube and see how does it feel when I put my finger inside me? Think of it like the male G spot and you're going to have some incredible sensations. All right, Cameron, try some of those things. Let me know how it goes. Lastly, I want to spark some inspiration. So I asked all of you to submit your favorite Valentine's Day memories because I think we all learn from each other and here's what a few of you said. My favorite Valentine's Day was last year when my partner and I had a surprise trip to Chicago, my favorite city to visit. After a night of drinks and cab rides, we came back to our hotel, which is one of the tallest in the windy City with a room on the top floor with windows surrounding us. It was my fantasy to have sex in the window of a tall building of a city. And we finally got to live that fantasy. It was mind blowing and sexy thinking people below could potentially see us. Favorite, hottest memory. Also, we found out two months later, we conceived a beautiful miracle. Baby boy Valentine's Day magic. Ah, I love that one. I love the idea of making a fantasy come true on Valentine's Day. Next, my favorite ever Valentine's Day was spent with my husband. We opened up our French cookbook and picked out recipes for dinner. Potatoes au gratin, Coca Ven, greens with pears and goat cheese, and then delicious Grand Marnier souffles. Of course, we had to had a couple of bottles of La Grande. Did I mention we cooked in nothing but aprons. I wore a little lingerie too and candy apple red. Between courses we made love on the counter, on the sofa wherever the mood struck. It was the best bidet ever and the souffle wasn't bad either. My wife, girlfriend at the time, and I lived three and a half hours apart at Dinkit to see each other on Valentine's Day. She was coming over to my place for a long weekend and I was making dinner. She showed up to my place wearing nothing but her peacock. Needless to say, dinner had to be put on hold for a little while. When I started dating my now fiance six years ago, he hadn't had much sexual experience. Spirits. On our first Valentine's Day together, I went to a sex shop and filled a treasure chest with various toys and tidbits. We spent Valentine's Day night exploring and playing with new things in the chest. I really enjoyed that night because he got to explore new sexual experiences with me and we learned a lot about what we like and don't like as a couple. Six years later, our sex life evolved into something amazing. I'm inspired now. Thank you everyone for sharing that. I appreciate that. I mean, come on guys, this is going to be your year to play, to have fun, get yourself something special to, you know, let the people around you know that you love them and send you lots of love this Valentine's Day. Let me know if you have any questions. I love you all. Happy Valentine's Day.

That's it for today's episode. See you on Friday.

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