The Orgasm Gap: How to Last Longer in Bed

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So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey everyone. Welcome to Sex with Emily. Tonight's show you're going to love. We're going to be talking about the orgasm gap between men and women. Why are so many women having a hard time orgasming? We've got Jeff here from Promescent. It's going to be a great show. Thanks everyone for listening and for supporting my sponsors. My latest electronic obsession. It's not a vibrator. It is my no no pro getting rid of unwanted hair. As a woman, it's a part time job. Seriously, I'd be afraid to add up how much money I've spent on razors and waxing and threading. I mean I've tried it all. The bottom line is the no no pro is the best and dare I say only way to remove unwanted hair with no pain. It's for men too. You know, the hair on your back, your long neck hairs, your chest, whether it's your leg, your arms, your face. You will love how easy this is to use and the weeks of long lasting results. Nonopro comes with 100% 60 day money back guarantee. And when you purchase, you'll get a $50 gift card to an award winning skin care line. Go to nonoemily.com that's nonoemily.com.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kinda cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with.

You're listening to sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out my podcast out my vlogs. Improve your sex life. Because that's really what you're all about, right? That's why you listen to the show. You can subscribe on iTunes. We do two shows a week. You'll never ever miss another show again. And I'm here with Anderson.

Of course you are.

Hi. What's up, Anderson?

How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm fantastic.

Good. We're good. Now that we're sitting. We both had kind of hectic days.

Oh, it was hellish day.

I'm so.

I've been. This has been the goal to just get to a place where I can sit down across from em.

Aw, I love that. That makes me feel good. I'm actually in my happy moment right now.

Yeah, it's actually paying off. It's like a lot of times, like, oh, if I can only get to the end of the day and I can get mani pedi. And then you're like, your feet are still hurting. Because she's, like, using the wrong tool. This is working for me.

I love that. It's so relatable. You must be married or something.

I am.

I love it. I love it. Okay. I also have my special guest tonight is Jeff Abraham from CEO of Absorption pharmaceuticals. And the fact which is promescent. You've all heard me talk about promescent, which is a delay spray to last longer in bed. So tonight we're going to be talking about.

Not just lasting longer, but also the orgasm gap. Do you ever realize that, you know, a lot of women, they just might not orgasm when you're ready to orgasm. And in fact, there is a true orgasm gap. There was a study published by Men's Health, and women were asked what is most likely to prevent you from having an orgasm. And the second Highest response was my partner doesn't last long enough. So that's one. But also. So I don't know if that's you. You should keep listening. And according to a large scale survey of American adults, women have about one orgasm for every three that a man enjoys. What about equality here, people? Right, Jeff, what do you think? Is that why you exist on the planet?

It should be a minimum of one to one.

I know exactly a minimum. Because women, we can have multiples.

Exactly.

That's just like bs. So I call this the orgasm gap. And it's been a point of contention since like feminists identified it during the heyday of the sexual revolution that there is a gap. And a lot of times, you know, for women it's a much more, you know, it's harder. We need more time. There's like the whole hookup culture now and just women just aren't having their orgasms. So we're just going to give you some tips here. Some your orgasms, guys, they're important too. Everyone's orgasms are important. So we're going to be talking about that tonight. We've got some sex in the news. We're answering some of your emails and I'm just very excited for tonight's show. Oh, some of the emails topics includes a swingers cruise, a couple at a Hustler event, quality lubricants and kettles for, for men. So I've got first of all, sex in the news here for you, which I don't know, Jeff, I don't know if you've heard of the story this in the news. College students created a nail polish that changes colors when exposed to date rape drugs. This just came out. This is amazing. So there's four male students. You'll like these young entrepreneurs. Jeff is a major entrepreneur at North Carolina State University. They're attempting to put an end to date rape with their own hands. More accurately, they're ending it in. In the in with the hands of their friends, girlfriends and female supporters. So these guys invented a nail polish called Undercover Colors that changes shades when touched by a date rape drug. So if the woman wants a test, she can just stick it in the nail polish in the drink and it changes colors. And the company calls itself the first fashion company working to prevent sexual assault. And it can detect rophenol. Is that what it's called? Like a roofie roof? Xanax and ghb. So how it works is when you're wearing the nail polish, they can test their drink by stirring it with their Finger might not be the most polite thing to do, but that's how you do it. And the company helps to make would be. Rapists fear the potential repercussions of being caught trying to drug a woman.

I think it's brilliant on two facets. Number one, from the business aspect. But number two, I can't think of anything that's more vile that a man can do, then do something like that to a woman, render her unconscious, and then violate.

Exactly.

So I think it's great from a business standpoint, obviously, from an entrepreneurial standpoint, it's brilliant. But I think, just from a personal standpoint, I think it's excellent that there's a way now to combat that, because I don't think there's a week that goes by I don't see an article about somebody using a date rape drug on somebody.

It's so true. It says 18% of women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That's one in four, five women in our country.

Yeah. And that's probably underreported because think of how many people, because of shame and everything else, it never even makes it to being reported.

Exactly. Yeah, totally. So that was just the innovative sex story of the week. So I hope they. And they're raising money too, so you can go to their Facebook page, which I don't have it on here, but I don't know what it's called. We'll find it. Google it. Oh, it'll be on. You know what? It's on our website. Go to sex on me.com and we'll tell you all about it. So that's what we got here for Sex and the News. And we're gonna. We'll take a call real quick because we have a caller. Let's see how we roll with this. Anderson.

Hello. Hi, Jason.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, you're on the Sex with Emily Show.

Hi.

Thanks for calling.

Sure.

How can we help you? I'm here with Jeff Abraham from Promescent, and we would love to help you with anything going on in your life.

Jason, the question. Question is.

I'm a little older. I'm mid-30s, and I've dated guys exclusively my whole life, and I've been pretty successful getting the kind of guys I like. But at this point, I'm getting older, and I'm noticing that I'm just excluded as far as just for an age consideration, not necessarily for dissimilarities and.

Lifestyle or anything like that. I get along with some of this.

22.

Just as well, as somebody that's 40 or whatever. Right, Not a problem. But so now I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm like, okay, you know, I'm probably going to be on this planet another 35, 40 years, and, you know, I'm not going to be able to pull the guys that I always pull. So I'm thinking, like, you know, I've never really been with a woman before, so if I just kind of give up on guys, that might be the best thing for my legacy, rather than me just being some pathetic guy trying to pull somebody.

Wait, how old are you?

I'm 35.

You're 35. Okay. And.

Yeah.

Okay, so. So you're doubting the fact that you'd ever find a successful life partner because you think that 35 is old?

No, I just. I'm not interested in it. Like, it's.

I'm.

I'm of the age where before all this stuff was in vogue type thing. I'm kind of in the, you know, the pre. I pre date, all that stuff. So kind of like the new stuff to me is just like cell phones of somebody's grandparents is totally foreign to them. So, like, this whole, like, getting married to a dude is. Was never on the radar and it's never will be.

Okay, but, Jason, here's the thing. You've been with men your entire life. You've never been with a woman, and you're making this intellectual decision based that you could be with a woman. I mean, you could try. There's nothing wrong with trying it out and see if you like it. But when you think it would have hit you before to be with women, I just can't imagine that you're gonna all of a sudden switch, but you never know. Is it because you want to have children?

Well, I just. I can see where my life is heading right now, and it's not. I'm not gonna be the guy in apartment 4B that just, you know, might be gay, might not be, you know, watches his nephews and nieces grow up. I just don't see. Like, that's not something I want to.

Right.

But I mean, so to date, it's been great and no problems, but now it's just starting to be a, you know, a reality check, so.

I know, but I feel like you're making these, like, negative predictions, and in the future where you don't even know what's going to happen, I mean, have you had successful relationships with men?

I have. I mean, a lot of them not as successful as I'd like them to be. I think it's. I think I. Forced relationships just because you need to have somebody to love, I think.

Right.

But I don't think I've, you know, put together something that the only practice really worked. It's just been something that is tolerable and.

Right. Okay. So, I mean, Jason, I have no problem. I think if you want to date a woman, I mean, I think that you should try it. Try. I always say everyone to try everything once. And if it's not your.

How do I break that to her? Because I feel like that's the deal. Like it's a deal breaker for most women. So how would I like you Tell her, you know, this is not. I'm done. I'm done with that. And, you know, like, I like to.

Try, you know, I don't think that it's something that I would bring up right away, to be honest, on the first date. Like, you're the first woman I've ever dated. I would wait until. Have you. So you've never even, like, kissed a woman or anything?

I had like, you know, middle school, high school type.

Yeah. So it's been a while. I wouldn't lead with the fact that you've led a gay lifestyle. I would just go out on the date and see how it goes and see how you feel. And that's someone you're comfortable with. And if it does escalate to the point of where you're gonna have sex, I mean, I. If it does get to that point, I'm sure you would already have told her, but I wouldn't feel like you need to lead with that. But I think it sounds like it's something that you feel like you need to do. But I also think that this whole notion that it's not what you didn't pictured for yourself and you know, you are. You're. So far, you've been a gay man. I think you could find someone that you love gay, you know, or a man or a woman. Either way. I don't think it has to do with being gay or not. I think it's just about where you're at. So maybe. I mean, are you. I don't know, it sounds like. Are you in a good place right now, like emotionally depressed.

I feel like I'm very, like I'm in my prime and I feel like I'm very, like, happy. I just feel like I'm gonna. I don't like chasing anymore. I don't feel like chasing guys anymore. I just like well, maybe it's the guys you're picking. I'm not living that life anymore.

Okay.

Early on he said something about now he's getting 35 and he can't pull the quality of guy or the same kind of guys. Being a 57 year old male, I can tell you that if you do decide to date women, you're gonna run into the same thing. Your options as you age, it, it's not specific to gay or straight. As you age, your options, you know, become more limited closer to your own age. Unless you win the lottery. Movie star, have some kind of notoriety.

Yeah.

So I don't think that's anything to do with being gay. I think it's more just facing your reality as you mature.

I think that's a great point.

I see. But with my parents, they're still together and everything, I think that what they have is kind of like how I could see myself aging into that. You know what I mean? Like I don't, like, I don't see my. The things I would do now are totally still the same things that 20 year old would do, but at 50 and 60, that would just be retarded.

Well, it sounds like that you're. But it sounds like you've been dating younger guys and you've been doing hookup and you haven't had a serious relationship with someone maybe your own age that's also gay or a woman. But I don't think that. Yeah, I mean, Jeff is right. It doesn't matter. No matter what age you are, things do change, opportunities change. But it doesn't sound like you've actually been like looking for love in the right places then. Because there are guys out there who don't just want to hook up.

He's sounding too like he's equating the monogamy to a heterosexual relationship and maybe not to a gay relationship.

Yeah. I mean, could you be. Yeah, yeah.

And I, I see gay couples that have been together 34 years seem very happy together.

Yeah, I agree that I'm just like monogamy for me has been like let's keep me alive type thing versus a love thing. I hate to say, but it's more of a, like this is the sexual reality of it. I have to, you know.

Right, right.

In order to continue to be on this planet. Like I am now, like I had to make decisions, you know, in my 20s and early 30s.

Right.

I made good decisions. But so that, that's from me saying I need to be monogamous, not necessarily from monogamy. Is the thing.

Right. No, I agree. I'm with you. I mean, I'm not. Monogamy is not for everybody, and I think that. But I again, I don't think that dating a woman is going to make you feel clear on this. I think it's about just who you are and who you're attracted to and the partners that you pick who have the same values and want the same things that you want right now. We all change. You know, I used to go out and date all the time, and I'm like, no, you know, I might just want to date one person. You know, we all change. And that's good that you're looking at it and you realize, I'm done with that. But it doesn't mean that just because you're done with that part of your lifestyle that it matters what you're dating a man or a woman. Yeah.

Okay.

But I don't think it's a problem if you do it. And if you do, I wouldn't bring it up, like, on the first date. Keep me posted, Jason. Good luck to you. Bye.

Bye.

Okay. Hi, Jeff. Okay, so that was just. Thanks for your. That was good input. Okay, so I'm talking to Jeff Abraham, and he's the CEO of Absorption Pharmaceuticals and Absorption. We first met because of Promescent.

Correct.

Which is. You've all heard me talk about it. But first I want you to tell me the story, which is a. It helps with premature ejaculation. It's the only FDA approved treatment. And I know you've all heard me talk about it. We're going to get into a lot more today because it's not just about that. But first, Jeff, can you tell me the story about how you came to be the CEO of Promescent?

Yes. I had had a semiconductor engineering business, and I was also a single father, and my son left to go to college. And I had spent 25 years building my business and raising my son. And when he left for college, I thought it was time to maybe explore a little bit of life. And so I had. I've been very fortunate, had some success, so I decided to retire at the same time he left for college. And I went from being busy 20 hours a day, seven days a week, to being busy 0 hours a day, seven days a Week. And it was kind of a shock. And at the time, being 52 years old, I went in to see a good personal friend of mine who happened to be my physician, a urologist, Dr. Ronald Gilbert, for my yearly PSA. You know, that Kind of thing. And while I was there, he asked me if I would review business that he had started. And I said sure. And after my exam we went in and he started telling me about this, you know, promescent, this drug he had developed. And the interesting thing was, two weeks prior to that, I had watched a 60 minute segment on counterfeit drugs. And it was fascinating because 80% of it was all about the ED drugs. Because if you're going to counterfeit something, Viagra, you want. Yeah, Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, you want. Two elements come into play. Huge demand and an inflated price. Because then it gives you a big market and a relatively big area to come in between from a price standpoint. And they estimated that the ED market was over $5 billion. That was legitimate. Between Viagra, Salvitra, this is in 2009. And they said for every legitimate tablet made, there were 1.2 knockoffs. So you can imagine it's like 10, 12 billion dollar market worldwide. So I said to Ron, I said, how big is this PE market? Because he developed permecent for PE compared to ED. And he said, 30% larger. I almost fell on the floor.

Wow.

I'm like, larger. He goes, yeah. And I go, what are people using now, right? He said, there's nothing that's really good. He said people use SSRIs and that's a medical term for serotonin reuptake inhibitors, antidepressants, depression drugs, Paxil, Zoloft, Zoloft, you know, those kind of things. And I said, well, do they work? He goes, yeah, they increase a man's ability to, you know, not ejaculate, but they have dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, lots of libido, suicidal thoughts. I'm like, excuse me, I'll take the pe, right? And I go, really? He goes, yeah. And he goes, not only that, you can't take them on demand. You're going to be intimate, you're going to use them. You have to take them every single day. They build up in your system, they're expensive, you have all these side effects all the time. And I'm like, that's the only thing. I go, that's insane. He goes, yeah. So I asked him for a sample.

Of it and this is what he. So he had. He showed you. He's like, I made this.

He showed me. He said, here's the product. They had already had it and they were commercializing it, okay? And so I said, does it have a recreational component? Because at the time, being 52 years old, having a lot of friends that were in my age range.

Right.

Anyone who thinks that they were selling $8 billion a year in Viagra, Salzil, Vitra, all for people with ed, has to be smoking crack, okay? It's. It's. It's a recreational drug. I mean, I have friends that eat them. Like M&Ms. I know, exactly. So he said, yeah, it has a tremendous recreational component. So I asked him for a sample, and I took it home. And I happened to be dating a guy who was a financial analyst at the time. I'm not getting you. So I call her up from the parking lot. I'm like, hey, I need you to help me evaluate this investment.

I do that all the time.

Exactly. So she comes over, we have dinner, and she goes, let's take a look at that investment. So she figures, I'm gonna come down with this spreadsheet, this pro forma, you know, I come down, I have this. I have this bottle of promess. And she's like, you're such a perv. I go, I'm serious. I'm thinking of investing in this company. So the next day, I call Ron. He goes, what do you think? I go, first of all, the name has to be changed. He goes, you don't like promescent? He starts going into this very serious explanation about why it means prolonged tumescence. Tumescence is the actual name, the medical name for an erection, you know. And he goes, you don't like that? I go, well, it's a little too technical. He goes, what do you like better? I go, how about bone like a porn star? He starts laughing. He goes, I told you. I go, that stuff's insane. And so I said, Give me 10 bottles. He goes, where are you going? I go, the women's volleyball house. Over easier. But I'm just kidding. I said, I want to see if other people have the same reaction that I do. So I took the 10 bottles that he gave me, and I spread it out. Some of my ex employees of the company that I had were in their 30s, 40s, some of them. And then some of my friends back in Pittsburgh, where I was born and raised, and people think I'm a bad father, but my son was 19 years old going to UC Santa Barbara. Okay, You've met Nick. I was under no impression that he was, like, not accurate.

His son's awesome.

Yeah. So I gave some to him and his friends up at UC Santa Barbara, and within two weeks, everyone gave me the exact same response. What was that? Where can I get more of it? So I literally invested a couple hundred thousand dollars. I went over to Ron, wrote him a check. I said, I want to invest in this company. So I was bored. You know, I just retired.

Right. It's so funny because before you got here, Anderson and I were talking about. I'm like, God, I just want to be the talent because it's a business. I said, but honestly, if I was just a talent, I didn't have a lot to do. I'd probably go insane.

Go insane.

Because I've always been this person who's so busy.

That's exactly. And I went from being busy 20 hours a day to be zero hours a day. So I wrote this business plan, and they said, well, that's great, but it's going to take some additional capital. We don't have that. So I invest another couple hundred thousand dollars. I said, you have to use it for exactly what I told you to do. And, okay, great, we'll do that. And they had great results. So In June of 2011, they asked me to take over the company, and I did. And I realized we needed some more capital because we wanted to do some things. And things went really, really well, and they took off. And they had been doing some things that really weren't. I'm not gonna say they were dumb, but they weren't really intelligent. I mean, they were doing infomercials and for promesa.

Really. Just to put context. Before this time then, because you always hear about Ed, there was really. Because all I'd ever been. I've been doing this for eight years. So all I ever heard was, you know, stop start method antidepressants. But there's really, like, if you're a premature ejaculator, sometimes there's just not.

Not only is there nothing, but here's the dangerous part. There's so much quackery out there. Deer antler extract. I'm not kidding.

No, there is. Yeah.

Bull testicle derivative. I mean, shark fin. I'm like, what? So what happens is, if you want to make this successful, you develop just like, use the model of Viagra, Salis Levitra, have a medical competency, be certified by the medical community that is actual legitimate. Exactly. And then the recreational follows, because people aren't stupid. They'll go, hey, if it works for your mpe, it's gonna turn me into Superman. So we hired some pharmaceutical reps because even.

Just to be clear, even if you last 10 minutes in bed, baby want to last 20, it'll double it. I mean, I know, because I. It's Amazing.

Yeah, exactly. The one thing that I always tell people is you have to get out of the thought process that if you last long enough to satisfy your woman, that that means you have a great sex life. Do you know how many men there are that you talked about the orgasm gap? These are not people with PE, the average healthy male lasts 5 minutes and 14 seconds during intercourse. The average female takes 19 minutes during intercourse to climax.

On a good day.

On a good day. And so that's the orgasm gap you spoke of. That's why there's 8 billion vibrators in the world. That's why there's so much extensive vibration in my home alone. Where else is there exactly, but what I tell people? And a big percentage of our business is gravitating this way right now. Men who don't think that they need something because they go, I last long enough to satisfy my wife, partner, or, you know, but what happens is they're tense, they're thinking about baseball score, stopping, stomping, switching positions. Instead of experiencing pleasure, instead of feeling abandoned, you know, abandonment, just, you know, like reckless abandon and just going for it. They're walking on eggshells. And they're very cognizant of not ejaculating.

They're not enjoying it.

It makes them robotic.

Right?

And so that is really, when this product is mature, four to five years from now, the 80% of the business will come from people who traditionally would not even be qualified as having pe.

Which we're going to come back, we're going to talk about what qualifies you as P.E. but first we have to have a word from our sponsors. So thanks, everyone, for listening to this show. And as you know, I love being able to help you have the sex life you deserve. So thank you for supporting my sponsors. So Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner? The Fleshlight is the most popular sex toy for men. It actually simulates the sensations of sex. It does. I'm telling you, I've given it to every guy in my office building and friends around here, and they're just, like, freaking out about it. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. And some people say it's better than sex. Have you tried one, Jeff?

Have not.

I gotta bring you a flashlight. Oh, my God. Not that you need it, but no.

It'S like a flashlight, but it's just.

Yes, it's a Male masturbation sleeve. So women, we've got thousands of vibrators and men, sometimes you don't want to use your hand. You think, why do I need it? Just wait till you try it. Okay, so you got to check that out. You can experience some of those mind blowing orgasms of your life. And if you've ever experienced or having sex with your favorite porn star, they've got them molded after your favorite porn star. So they're available in realistic flesh tone colors. And each custom molded Fleshlight is amazing. Masturbation sleeves, all of them. So if you go to sexwithemily.com Fleshlight you can get your Fleshlight. Now that's sexwithemily.com FleshLight also, I got to tell you about the amazing people@goodvibes.com they carry all the best sex toy brands. You can get the Vibratex, Dahlia or the Rabbit. If you have one of those old rabbits from like 10 years ago, you should see the new rabbit habit. They've got everything. So when you use coupon code Emily, you can get anything you want. The strongest, most orgasmic vibrator of all time as well, the Magic Wand. Go to my site sexwithemily.com click on the good vibes banner to see my favorite toys because you know, I have tried them all. Use coupon code GVMILY20. That's GVMILY20. Go to sexwithemily.com check it. Hey Jeff. Okay, so pe is we were talking about. Even it could become recreational because some guys just, they don't. But wouldn't technically you define PE, as I always say, to people who ejaculate before they want to. But really like it's. Is there more of a tactical.

Here's the crazy thing. If you go by the American Urological association and the smsna, which is the sexual medicine society in North America, these are the ruling governing bodies medically that define these terms. PE is someone who never lasts more than 60 seconds during intercourse with their partner, the Minuteman. And I think that's so absurd because you're saying to a guy who lasts 90 seconds to his partner needs 19 minutes, you go, you don't have pention is exactly the definition that I use. Which makes sense. It's very pragmatic.

Right.

Is what is premature.

Lasting not long enough to have a satisfactory sex life, lasting not long enough to really either satisfy your partner or yourself. The idea that anything over 60 seconds is satisfactory, it's a subjective thing.

Right?

You should be the judge of what is premature in your case.

Exactly.

And now they're trying to tone it down by saying rapid ejaculation because maybe premature freaks people out. I, I think this is very similar to what Ed was 20 years ago before there were legitimate remedies. People were so freaked out they didn't want to talk about it because there was a stigma. And I think the medical community has done a disservice because there's all these old wives tales about it's a loss of, you know, mental, you know, control and it's all psychological. The urological association has defined specific medical conditions that cause pe. Hypertension.

Penile hypersensitivity, prostatitis. This isn't something that's in your head. There are physiological reasons why a man prematurely ejaculates. And to have this stigma is crazy. Would people be hesitant to talk about insulin for diabetics? Would they be hesitant to talk about chemotherapy for cancer patients? Of course not. But why this stigma? And people freak out when you start talking about sex. You need to take the stigma out of it and start talking about allowing people to enjoy and enhance their lives.

Exactly. So I mean, it's true. And I so close to me because I did date someone for two and a half years, long time ago, it's probably like 10 years ago. And he had PE and it was, he was about a minute if we're on a good day or less than that. And we tried, I mean I bought books, we tried, you know, I mean literally everything. The stop start method he would practice. And it was just so frustrating because I know like he was in his head and sex was always just so stressful. You're together two and a half years.

Well, you can imagine in his mind.

Yeah. And this is now that I have such a greater understanding of it.

And the poor guy, it wasn't, he was trying to use mind techniques for something that was a physiological problem.

He's not enjoying sex.

He's not enjoying it. And the one thing that is amazing, as big as the ED market is 20 to 30% of ED patients are actually PE patients. Because if a man has PE for an extended period of time, he will get anxiety related ed. So if you know that every time you get an erection and you're about to be intimate, if it's going to lead to an unsatisfactory conclusion, you will eventually develop ED because you know, getting the erection is going to lead to an unsatisfactory.

So then you lose your erection. So let's talk about the difference between erectile dysfunction and pe, how would you define the.

Erectile dysfunction is the inability to get an erection. It's the inability to actually get an erection capable of having penetration or having erection.

Isn't it also, like, you get one and you lose it?

Yes, you can have. Yeah, exactly.

That happens a lot too. Men when they.

Even without ejaculating, you lose. Lose your erection.

Even if your skills are not right, you can't do anything about it.

PE Is having an erection significant enough for penetration to have sex, but very quickly? Ejaculating and not being able to last long enough to satisfy your partner. But we find that a lot of our customers and a lot of people that use the product, their primary thing is that this makes me feel so much better. They just feel so much more complex, satisfying their woman. They just feel so much better being able to have a satisfactory relationship. Because we have people that tell us, I became asexual, I stopped having sex. I literally did not.

Because they have so much fear around me all the time. They're like, is this gonna happen? What if I come to. I mean, every single day I get email about this. That's why I was like, I gotta have. I mean, you were on the show.

Well, that's how we found you initially, because I was doing research on videos and people talking about it. And I go, here's someone very progressive, isn't afraid to talk about it. And I reached out to you, and I'm like, we need to get in touch with her.

Because I feel like I've known you forever now.

Exactly. It's only been a year and a half.

I know. I can't believe it. Because it is true. I'm like, that is one of the top questions I get asked. And I don't. And I'm like, okay, you could do. Stop, Start. You could do your Kegels. But I just know that sometimes it just doesn't work. So let's talk about, like, how it actually works, though, because, I mean, I've used. There's, like, a lot of questions people want to know. Like, you spray it. You put it on your penis before, like, 10 minutes before.

Yes, eight to 10 minutes before. It's a spray. And here's the beauty of it. There have been anesthetic sprays prior to this, and I'm sure a lot of your listeners will go, I've used stud 100. I've used mandalay. I've used this, I've used that. They do delay the ejaculatory response. The unfortunate part is they do it by Numbing you. You literally can't feel anything. And they, unfortunately, they transfer to your partner as well. So you'll be in a situation, you go, oh, this is great. We're lasting longer. Are we even having sex? Something's going on here. We're moving, but no one can feel anything.

It's like, at least she's happy. I don't know where I am exactly.

Well, generally she's not happy either because she gets numb.

Transfer for the transfer.

So what Ron did in the brilliance of Ron was he found a formula. It's called a eutectic formula. It takes lidocaine, which is the anesthetic agent from a crystal into an oil aqueous form.

Okay.

So when that happens, it penetrates the stratum corneum or the dermis. It goes to the sensory nerves underneath. And that's why you wait eight to 10 minutes. So you apply it eight to 10. Eight to 10 minutes later, it's no longer on the surface of your skin. So the man maintains it's been absorbed. The man maintains a much higher degree of surface sensitivity, which gives him the pleasure and the feeling that he's actually involved. And the woman doesn't even. Isn't even aware that you're using it.

People always ask me, like, will my partner know? But if he waits 8, 10 minutes.

Then she doesn't have to know.

Not get numb.

She will. Yeah.

I tell people, though, and this is just me personally as the CEO of the company. It's not that you have to do it. I just find it really strange that if you're close enough to be intimate with someone that you're going to be hiding something like that. I mean, what are you going to run to the bathroom? Hide spray? I mean, to me, you have a real issue, communication wise, if you're, you know, it should be about enhancing the relationship.

Exactly. I mean, I used it with this guy I was dating for a while, and it was funny because that was kind of his issue. So he's great at pleasing me and all this stuff, but when we had sex, it was like, boom. And then I was like, well, I've got. This is like when we first. I mean, a few months in. Because I had no one to use it with at the time. Well, not. No, I could always find some, but whatever. I was taking some of my.

I'm sure if you really wanted to.

Use it, it wasn't so hard.

There'd be a line of volunteers.

You are the man for this. And then he just was like, he's obsessed with it. Like, I. Every time I'm like, I just left in my bathroom or his house, like, he's got it and it really, like, I never felt it. He lasts way longer. It's like he's almost become, like, dependent on it. I think it's. We're not. We're really good friends now. We're not dating anymore. But he's like, he's never felt anything like it and he could last as long, so much longer. Like, I never even. It was never even an issue. It never happened again. He never came too quickly again.

Yeah, the product, the efficacy of it is insane. I mean, it really works. We have people that order every single month, every month in a large bottle, and that my hat's off to them because that's somebody's very active. And we have quite a few of people like that. But I just, you know, I'm really thrilled by the fact that the efficacy is there and it's a problem that there is no other solution for. But this is the crazy part. We sold over 200,000 bottles. So far, since we really started marketing the product, we've had zero calls to our contraindication lines. That's how safe.

That's why I can't believe no one's ever called and said I had a problem or anything. No, I mean, I mean, I've never heard it, but that's.

If you're allergic to lidocaine, you'll have some itching.

Okay.

But it goes right away and there's no toxicity. It's very safe. I mean, nothing works for absolutely everybody. There's nothing in the world that works for absolutely everybody. But the success rate of people who try the product is really, really high. And we have testimonials, which I've shared some.

Yeah, no, I get the testimonial too. Yeah, there's.

I mean, just like when I talked about before when you talked about the guy with the date rape polish, you know, the nail stuff, it, you know, I really related to that because obviously, as an entrepreneur, you love the idea that it's going to be something good for your shareholders and make money. But when you keep women from being date raped and drugged, I mean, my God, how good is that? When you give a gentleman his self esteem back, when you save a relationship, when we've had people that actually said, I was near suicide, I just felt like I couldn't have intimacy anymore. I was ready to, you know, and then they go, I feel like I'm a new person. I mean, there's something about that. That's just. It gets you up in the morning. And when you work those long hours and, you know, you go through the frustrations of running any business, those are the things that really pull you through. And you go, you know, this makes a difference for people.

Also have a personal connection with Ron. I mean, the whole.

Yeah, I mean, you know, people. I'm not sure if they're aware of.

This, but I don't think so.

Ron was murdered. My partner, right, who developed the product, who was my very good friend, who was one of the most wonderful human beings I've ever met in my entire life. A year and a half ago, exactly a year and a half ago, was murdered. And it was mistaken identity. Somebody who had done.

In the hospital, right?

Yeah, right. In his office. He was affiliated with Hogue Hospital. He ran Orange Coast Urology. Four urologists, a bunch of nurses. And there was a gentleman who had a prostate surgery 23 years ago in the VA hospital, decided he was going to kill the guy that did his surgery, and he was unhappy with the result. Don't ask me why. It took him 23 years to figure out he was unhappy. But he went back. It was so long ago, it wasn't online. He went to the va. It was on microfiche, of all things. They didn't even have the records anymore. And he saw the guy that did it. It was a name similar to Ron's. And so he went back and Google searched and found Ron Gilbert. And I think the guy's name was Ron Gelhart or something like that. So he decided he was gonna kill him. Didn't realize until after he made an appointment. Ron walked in to see, supposedly a new patient. He was lying in wait in a shooting position and shot Ron eight times through the heart in the doorway. He never even made it into the room. And you can't have a more senseless tragedy than that. Not that even the guy that did a surgery deserves to die. I mean, that's insane.

No, but I know Ron is your best friend.

I mean, the fact that it wasn't the right guy. He wasn't even the guy that did the surgery. And, you know, we as a society, I tell this people all the time, when someone dies, we tend to make more out of them in death than they were in life. It's just how people are. Oh, he's the greatest guy in the world. You're going, wait a second. I knew that guy, right? You didn't have to do that. Ron was a guy who looked, lived the right way he really and truly, he was a great father, a great husband, a great doctor. And, you know, we used to get into these disputes once in a while. I go, you do realize we're running a business here. You know, it's like, well, I'm just giving it away. This guy needs it. I go, well, why doesn't he buy it? You know what I mean? I'm the CEO of the company. I'm a little more. And he was just a healer. He was a guy who got into medicine.

He came up with this because he saw that he had all the patients that were coming to him as a urologist. Because that's why I was so interested, too, with you, because I was like, I get these emails and I'm like, I know. And I've been through it with someone for two and a half years. We tried everything. Nothing works. So that's why I think when you.

Talk to urologist, they will tell you, if someone comes to me with ed, I have Viagra, I have Cialis, I have Levitra. Someone comes to me with prostate problems. I got this, I got that. Someone comes to me with incontinence. I got four or five options. I got all these me too products. Someone comes to me with pe, I have nothing. And they'll tell you, that's my most frustrating patient because they come back all the time and I have to tell them we still have nothing. And I can see the angst and the frustration, and we have nothing for them. And so this was. It was pure genius.

Yeah, it is. It is. Well, thank you. Because you've helped a lot of my. A lot of my people. So another question for you, though. Is it safe for oral sex? People don't see that it is.

I do tell people this. If you're going to be receiving, as a guy, oral sex, then I would suggest wait the 8 to 10 minutes and with a damp washcloth, just wipe yourself off in case there's any residual. It really is not harmful. A very similar formulation to this, believe it or not, that preceded promescent, was developed for oral gum surgery. Before they put the deep needles in, you know, when you get like, you know, root canals and stuff, the stuff that they spray and rub into your gums is a very similar formulation. It's lidocaine with a eutectic formula, just like promescent. It's that safe. But I tell people that in case there's a residual taste, you know, it might freak your partner out, you know, that kind of let him know it's safe. It's not going to do any harm.

Right.

But just in case, she's like, wait a second, because it does have a kind of coconut kind of a thing. And she goes, what do you dump a pina colada down there? You know what I mean?

I don't mind it.

Yeah, exactly.

I didn't want to do it anyway.

No, just kidding.

Okay, we're gonna move on to some emails from the peeps. Yeah. Okay, so this is an email from our listeners. In fact, I love hearing from everybody. So thank you for emailing me. @feedbackexwithemily.com it's about dating a virgin. Emily. I recently. Recently I've been dating a good college friend of mine. The only thing that we've done is just making out. Nothing serious. She's a virgin and I'm not. But I know from experience that I suck at sex. Recently I purchased Down Under Comfort, which is. Have I given you my down undercover? I brought some for you. Okay. And promescent. So I smell and perform longer in bed. My question to you is this. If things start to progress, how can I make sure her first time is good? I think a massage candle would work as that would set the mood. Also, I'm totally down on going down on her. I just want to know so that her first time is right, pleasurable. And if she wants to wait until. Wait. I respect that decision from Michael. So good for you for becoming. Coming prepared with all these things. But I would say first time, I mean, you just want to warm her up. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, foreplay. This is what we're talking about. I mean, today, I mean, really, there is the orgasm gap. And even if you don't have pe, It's. It's not a suggestion. I'm not like suggesting that you guys shall do. It's actually a requirement. Women need time to warm up, so make it about her pleasure. You could give her a massage using, like one of my massage candles, but it's about her pleasure. And make sure that you check in with her because she probably is going to be very nervous and you don't.

Want to rush it.

You want to get her so turned on to the point where she's actually begging you to put it in and that you're not forcing it. So you sound like a really mindful guy, Michael. Like, I like that you're even just, you know, emailing it.

He's a man with a plan, that's for sure. He's putting a lot of thought into this.

He bought the. Oh, I don't have that. I have it in there. He bought everything. That's the funny. And I was to use a condom. Hope you know that you use a condom. Any more tips for first time Sick. Can you remember, did your son ever ask you for advice about sex?

No. And it's been a while since I dated a version of being 57 years old.

Exactly.

Yeah. But you know, to me, I didn't realize until I took this company because having been in another industry and even, you know, dealing with people like you and hearing these stories, there's so much anxiety.

I know.

I mean, here's a guy in a relationship with a woman, he's like freaking out. And I always laugh and I know I'm bad. I. I know I suck in bed.

Right? I know. And this makes me.

Right.

How do you know? How do you know in college, Right? Well, I think it's because maybe he came too quickly because he bought the promescent. Maybe the first time he had sex. And he thinks that he's bad in bed. It doesn't mean that he can communicate.

With her and relax and have it as a project together. Instead, he's trying to create this scenario like he's riding it on a white horse, right? You know, and he's like gonna wrestle this damsel in this guest. Or you could always look at it this way. She's not going to know anything to compare it to. She's a virgin.

That's true. She's going to think you're the best she ever had. How's that?

And she could say you're the best I've ever had because she's the only one.

Exactly. But Michael, I think you're good. Don't stress about it too much.

Yeah, Relax.

Relax and have a good time.

Relax. Have a good time. Build a relationship with her. And this has always been my experience. And the intimacy will take care of itself because communicate, work at it together. Don't think you're off in a laboratory, you know, with some, you know, white coat and, you know, some elixir.

So many guys that. That's the thing about like PE Or ED or anything that it is guys don't perform oral sex or women don't want talk about it. Communicate with your partner about what is going on at the moment. She knows that you can't stay hard or came too quickly. We all saw it happen. But guys have so much shame, they don't even talk to you. That's what's so interesting about Ron, because he created because his patients were coming to him. But there's so many guys that. That right into my show are calling to Loveline and it's like, have you talked to your doctor? And they have so much fear about talking to anyone about it.

They don't want to.

They want to talk to their. They think this is go away.

We have guys that order the product and go, can it be held at FedEx so I can go pick it up? I don't want to deliver in case my roommate or my kid, you know, I mean, it's like, relax.

Yeah, relax, Exactly. I mean, it's.

And we have guys that'll say, I want to make sure my partner has no idea I'm using it. Because they want this aura of I'm Superman, you know?

Right.

And I mean, it's crazy.

I know. I know people like, they do. And you know what? Women we appreciate. Appreciate a guy who can communicate it. Like, it made me so much more with this guy I was dating. He was very sensitive. And we did. At first we, you know, probably didn't talk about the first few months, but then we talked about it and I was like, in it with them. We, like, bought books and read, like, did you do your exercises? We can do them together.

You know, I was really, like, trying Kegel exercises.

The Kegel exercises?

Yeah.

I mean, it can work, but so you got to be consistent. And that wasn't even working for him.

So if it was a physiological issue, it's not Kegel exercise. Do anything.

I know, I know. Okay, so they got to buy from Massa. Anyway, we're talking about. Okay, here's time for another email. Okay. Dear Emily, I listen to your show all the time. You're constantly talking about how you should get high quality lube instead of KY or Astroglide. But I don't know what lubes to recommend. I don't know what lubes you recommend. Can you tell me if you go and try? I want to up our lube selection. Thanks, Tate. Tate, that's a great question. It is true. I mean, yes, you can go to drugstore and buy like KY or whatever, but I don't recommend it because a lot of times they can have an infection ingredients in it that can affect a woman. And you just want to get something that's like, that's really safe. I would say water based. And the ones that I love, I love liquid silk. I like Sliquid and how can I say it? Pajour P J U R. Those are my favorite water based ones. Liquid silk plesure. And sliquid. And you can get those all at. On my website. Click on sexualummy.com the Good Vibes banner and you can go there and see those. Those are my favorite high quality ones. Now if you want to see silicone lube. Thing about silicone lube is that they do break down condoms and they don't work well with sex toys. But I'm obsessed with uber lube right now. I don't know if you've tried Uber lube.

It's.

It's freaking amazing. So if you guys are. If you're in a committed, monogamous relationship and you're not using condoms, I would try Uber lubes. I'd get one of both. I tried the water based, like the liquid silk and then try the Uber lube because in a rocking world, it lasts forever. It's great. Okay, so is that Anderson, Are you saying that we're done?

We gots to go?

I'm so sad, Jeff.

That went fast.

I know. I'm so glad you're here. It's great to see you and thank you for all the information. Everyone can check out Jeff and all the stuff happening@promescent.com and thanks everyone for listening. Check me out on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily. I just. I don't ask you for much, but if you would just right now put your phone and follow me in all those places, I would be so happy. Thanks, everyone. And thanks, Anderson.

Thank you, kid.

Love you being here. Thanks everyone for listening to sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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I don't see you guys coming.

I know. So I said to him, I was like, hey, would you take me car shopping? And he was like, really into it because he wanted to date me.

He wanted to prove that he's a man.

Exactly.

So did he get you a good deal, though?

He got me. No, he got me a really bad deal.

You thought it was a good deal?

I thought it was a good deal.

Everyone thinks it's a good deal at.

One point or another.

When that guy's going back and he's like, talk to my manager and see if that's doable. And then they come back like, it's doable, but you have no idea. You have no clue.

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