The Self-Love Experience

Okay, let's be real. Confidence is sexy in and out of the bedroom. And when it comes to performance, sometimes a little support makes a big difference. So whether you're craving more stamina, fuller erections, or you're just looking to level up your pleasure game, there's a tool that's been helping people feel more empowered for years. Meet Bathmate, the world's leading hydro powered penis pump. These aren't gimmicks. They're FDA registered, backed by science, and designed to give real, lasting results. At Bathmate Direct, you'll find pumps that naturally support size, strength and blood flow, helping you experience bigger, harder, more energized erections over time. And because they work with water, they're more comfortable, more effective, and way safer than traditional air pumps. With just a few minutes a day, the Bathmate hydro pump can help you increase size and girth, gradually boost confidence in and out of the bedroom, improve stamina and performance, support stronger erections through better blood flow. And the best part, it's all natural, non invasive and totally shower friendly. You can literally work out your sexual wellness while you wash your hair. It's iconic. Right now, Bathmate Direct is giving our listeners 10% off when you use code SW10@bathmate direct.com. that's Bathmate Direct B A T H M A T E D I r e c t dot com. Use code SW10 for 10% off. So head to bathmate direct dot com, use SW10 and level up your confidence.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We all know masturbation is pretty great, right? Well, in today's show, we're talking about how to make it even better. That's right, it can get better. Your masturbation routine, but it takes some work. But I promise you, it's the most pleasurable work you can do. And I'll walk you through it. Thanks for listening.

By now, you all know me pretty well. You know I love new experiences, but I have my favorite things that I always come back to because I know I can trust them. I can't think of a better example than the Magic wand. If you've been listening, you might remember that I actually had a hole drilled in my nightstand. So my magic wand was always plugged in and ready right when I needed it. That's a pretty big commitment and I thought it was pretty ingenious. But anyway, before you go destroying your furniture, consider this. The trusted magic wand is now available in a rechargeable version, delivering all all that power of the original, plus the Mobility of a completely cordless design, the Magic Wand rechargeable also features four intensity levels and four great vibration patterns. For more than 30 years, the trusted magic wand from Vibrotex has been just about everyone's go to massager. From its perfect size to the high quality construction and materials, it's no wonder why the Magic wand is considered the Cadillac of all vibrators. If you don't own one yet, don't live without the Magic Wand another day. And if you do own one, you need to try the rechargeable. Go to sexwithemily.com and click on the Magic wand banner to order yours.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. I feel so.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out the content we put out every day because we want you to have better sex and. And relationships. And also you can subscribe to our podcast and you can follow us on Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat. It's all exwithemily and Facebook because we do put out great content. We give away toys. And a lot of our. All of our stuff is pretty damn good and funny. So follow it.

I have a quick question because I had something going on.

With some websites that I'm involved in, right? It's nothing sexual, but the websites were blocked at work. Now, does emilymorris.com still go to sexwithemily.com no.

It used to. Why? You were trying to get sex?

No, I was just wondering because, you know, if somebody might be afraid to type in sexwithemily.com maybe they can go to Emily Morris.

I did that for a while. It was a redirect, but it would still get dinged. It didn't work.

It did.

Oh, yeah. It didn't work.

Damn.

I know. I still get. I get blocked like on airplanes.

Yeah.

Can't go to My site. I'm so hurt.

Haters are gonna hate. Haters are gonna. Don't be afraid though, to type in sexemily. Because you're not gonna get like.

You're not gonna get Dickens. It's not gonna be.

Yeah, like you porn or something like that where it's just like animated wieners going all over the place.

It looks like a lifestyle website. It is a lifestyle website. It's, it's, it's. It's clean and pretty.

Yeah, that's great.

A little bit of anal sex, though.

How's your personal life going?

My personal life is good. I met somebody in San Francisco.

Oh, really?

Yeah. And he's coming to visit for a day.

Cool.

Yeah. Which is perfect.

Yeah, you love that.

And I met him in my training, the Celeste and Danielle Somatica work training. Remember they were on the show. We talked about this a little bit. And I'll be getting into it more over the. Right now I'm still processing, but over the next few months, about this kind of work I'm doing that's really think gonna help everyone, help myself, help others, help you, menace. Work a lot with sexual energy and your feelings and emotions and all that good stuff. And yeah, we just moved to offices, which was killer. We have been moving out a lot of sex toys. It's really all. 99% of it is.

I've been hearing about this forever.

It's been going on for a month. Okay, what's up with you? Tell me everything.

I have a couple things going on. Believe it or not, there's a lot of Sex with Emily listeners in Los Angeles. And I get surprised every day. I'll be walking down the street and I'll bump into one. But I'm asking a big favor for all the local Los Angeles Sex with Emily listeners on Saturday. I know today's Friday. If you're listening, Saturday, May 21st, I'm doing a thing. I've hooked up with the Habit Burger. It's burger chain.

Yum. Of course you hooked up with a burger chain.

Yeah, of course. But I'm actually doing good with this. The Habit Burger has a food truck that we're sending out to a bunch of locations around Los Angeles. And 100% of the proceeds are going to be going to different charities. The first one that I'm doing on Saturday from 11am to 2pm in Glendale, California.

Glendale, okay.

100% of the proceeds that day that we get, all the money from the food truck will go to Hope for Paws for, you know, getting dogs off the street and helping animals that are abandoned and stuff like that.

So they can come hang and eat a burger and support.

They can eat a burger and it's only five bucks for an entire meal.

Oh my God. I'm coming. What time? 11 to 1 on Saturday?

Yeah, 11 to 1.

I want to come.

No, 11 to 2.

Sorry. Where can people find out more though?

They go to lunchwithwoody.com.

Okay, got it.

It's lunchwithwoody.com you get all the details. And again, the Habit Burger. They're taking a loss. They're not even. They're not taking any of the money that we make that day and paying the workers or paying for the truck, everything.

That's so cool.

All the money goes for Hope for Paws. So that's on the 21st.

Okay.

And then on the 28th in Long Beach, California, we're gonna have the Habit Burger out there again. And 100% of the proceed goes to lymphoma research. So if anybody can make out to one of those locations, that'd be great. All Info is at lunchwithwoody.com look at.

You doing good work.

I'm trying. And if you can't make it, I understand, it's all good. But if you just happen to be in the area, what's the fun thing.

To do on the weekend? Like go support a good cause and eat a burger with menace. Easy. I would do that every day if I could.

Thank you.

Yeah. So check it out.

So that's what I have going on. That's my whole agenda for next couple months. We have a third location too, which is gonna be in June.

Can they keep checking out the Woody? What is it?

LunchwithWoody.com Lunch with Woody website.

Yeah.

Cause I'm part of the Woody show, which is a morning show that you can hear Monday through Friday on all my needs. It's a big time show in la. It's crazy. Yeah, it's been doing very well here.

Proud of you. Minus.

Thank you, thank you. So we're trying to do good.

It's good. I'm glad you're doing good.

Shout out to the Habit.

Thank you for the Habit Burger. I've never had one, so.

Oh, ye gonna have to.

I'm coming, I'm coming. Speaking of coming, we're still in masturbation mode. Yeah, we are. And we've got our giveaway contest. Go to sexwithelmy.com, click on the contest button, which is a new fun button on our website. Find out what we've got going on this month. There's a contest how you self love. Everyone masturbates a little bit differently. And if you email me feedbackexelmy.com tell us your masturbation routine. Do you like candles, porn? Do you got a playlist? Whatever you do, let us know. It ends this week the contest. So send it in now. Feedbackextwithemily. We'll choose our favorite submissions to win some pretty great Masturbation month prizes. We don't mess around. We're not sending you some schlocky toys or products.

No schlocky.

They're good stuff. Okay.

I don't know what schlocky means.

It's a Yiddish word and it means yucky. I don't know where I just whipped it out of. It's like I'm talking to my grandmother. Yeah, I don't know where it came from, but it did. So they're nice products that fun things that you should win on Masturbation month.

That's great.

Okay, so there's that. And we've also had some great shows lately. We released the one Trans Pan and San Francisco. San Francisco.

How'd that go over? That was a great guest.

That was a great show with Venus Venus Lux. We put out two shows a week. People love that show. It was amazing. So check it out. We've got a lot. So many good shows. Yeah. So this is what we got. A little bit sex in the news here before we get in a deep dive into masturbation. Female gorillas turn to gay relationships when they tire of male gorilla rejection.

Really?

Yes. So while studying the behavior of mountain gorillas in Rwanda, this professor noticed homosexual behaviors in a number of females. His research indicates that female gorillas derive pleasure from their sexual experiences with other females. The first officially documented example of sex same sex, same sex sexual relationships of female mountain gorillas. And it says that 18 to 22. 18 of the 22 participated in gay sexual activities, including courtship displays. He compares female sexual gorillas to human women, saying they can shift from homosexual to heterosexual sex. We always talk about women like being on the spectrum. Given all these observations come from wild groups, not gorillas held in captivity. It is obvious that homosexual activity is part of the gorilla's natural behavior. But here'.

Apparently some of these sexual encounters were interrupted by aggressive males, while other males seemed totally unfazed by it. So the study is suggesting that gay sex is the result of females growing weary of male rejection. So the gorillas and females. So females. Yeah. That women, females, gorillas Are turning to other girl. Usually they're with male gorillas, but, like, this gorilla is not bringing home the bananas. And so I'm going to hook up with a woman. Yeah. We always say, oh, that women who have a tough time with men that they're gonna hook up with, they're gonna, like, turn lesbian. And I don't know if this study is saying that necessarily. I haven't talked to many women, but I think, you know, people just make decisions about things for different reasons. But it's more likely that a woman could kind of fluctuate back and forth between, like, being in a lesbian relationship, being straight, where men typically don't run on that spectrum.

I'm so blown away about that podcast that we did with. What is it?

The Venus Lux?

No, no, no. 4.

Oh, wild horses.

Wild horses.

That was a great one.

I don't know why I said four, but. The wild horses. Four horses. The wild horses. Because we. We were talking to one of them and she said, like, she was just hanging out with this girl that happened to be a lesbian. She's never, ever thought that she would ever hook up with a woman. And then eventually she became in a relationship with one.

I never would have thought I was dating men for years. Yeah, happens all the time.

Yeah. Still blown away.

One day I might turn up with my new girlfriend.

It's funny, though, because I have a friend who in college and she was. She got roomed up with lesbians. Right. And she never thought she was lesbian or anything like that. And then.

She just started hooking up and dating lesbians. Right, right. And even years afterwards after college continued because that's who she surrounded herself with. That's her friends were. And then immediately after, she moved to a different area and she wasn't around that started dating guys again.

And she's never gone back.

And she's never gone.

That's interesting. It's like she was socialized and, like, raised around that women have gone back and forth. Doesn't wonder. But I don't know.

But she says that she like being in that atmosphere. She thought she. She was.

I'm sure she really was attracted to women. She still is, but thought, you know, I'd like to be with man right now. No, that happens. You don't hear that with the better.

Question is how much. How much did the person get paid to do the research about the. The gorillas? Right. And then what do you do with that information afterwards? Is my tax money going in that? Because. Yeah, I cry every time.

I know you hear the studies about.

Like, every time I look at my paycheck and see all the taxes taken out, I'm like, I guess you hear about all this research.

I mean, what I don't know in Rwanda. What do you do?

Even if that information was with.

He thinks females might participate in homosexual activities to decrease the overall motivation of other females to have heterosexual sex. Okay. Thus reducing other women's reproductive success. So either doing it to get back at other women, or they're doing it because they're attracted to women and they're weary of men.

What about if it's.

We always start with it a lot of times.

What about if it's humans? Like, who cares about that information?

Because people. Who cares about sex information and research and attraction. Signs of attraction.

No, but I'm just saying, like, if that's what the person ends up preferring, like, who cares?

You know, you're just so liberal and open.

I guess I am.

Just go. And I guess some people would like the science.

Oh. Middle America needs answers on why.

Yeah.

Why women need to be able to do.

I forget sometimes lesbians. I forget sometimes, you know, having grown up. I mean, my formative years in San Francisco and being in California, that people are not as acceptive of accepting of everything.

I mean, people are fighting over effing bathrooms, I guess. You know, Like, I know.

But for sure.

How great is our country that the things that we're bitching and moaning about is bathrooms? Like, just think about that people.

I don't mean for transgender women and men. Yeah, no, I get it. I understand, like, why that's really gonna impact the world. Like, there's so many. I just hate the people who are fighting against. It's like, I'd rather have you go towards what your agenda is. And, like, there's gotta be some positive energy you put into. Rather than fighting bathrooms. Like something that. That's always a better. That's always a better choice.

Yeah.

Towards like, your cause rather than anti.

But again, I just want people that. When they're, like, bitching and moaning about anything, just think how great your life is that you. You're able to do that.

Yes.

Instead of being in another country where you're trying to find something to eat or you can't even do that. Like in China, people were. Women were banned from eating bananas because it's sexual.

Right, right. Like, I was doing a bit.

You know, it's like public.

Or, like at home, anywhere.

Or just like over the web. Because, like, web. The webcam. But the webcam girls, which don't do anything sexual anyways. Like, they eat bananas on the web China. So the Chinese government has figured out, like, wait a minute, that's way too sexual. And so they banned that bananas out of everything. So again, when you're bitching in your own life, I just want you to, you know, think about that kind of stuff.

Like, they're really good.

You might be banned from eating bananas.

Right, Exactly. Like, damn good. Here.

I just wanted to sink in with people before they bitch and moan about something.

Yeah, don't bitch and moan about that. Think about how you could have more pleasure in your life and how you can send love to the people around you. Which we're gonna get into in a minute. But first, we're gonna give a little shout out to our sponsors because we love you. All right?

Okay, ladies, I'm happy to tell you about the Tango by WE Vibe. You've probably heard me talk about the tango before. It's possibly the most perfect mini vibe that I've ever tried. I'm always amazed at how many ways you can use this precious and powerful little vibe. It's a lipstick shape with an angled tip, and it makes it possible to either pinpoint a specific spot or apply to a wider area, depending on how you hold it. It's only three and a half inches long, and you can use it as a clitoral vibe during solo play or during intercourse. What's most impressive about the tango is its power. I mean, wow. I've had my tango for years now, and I'm still blown away every time I turn it on. It has eight vibration modes, all controlled by a single button. The rechargeable battery gives you up to two hours of play on a single charge. Like all my favorites from WE Vibe, the Tango is waterproof, body safe, and super high quality. To add the tango to your collection, which you totally should, just go to sexwithemily.com, click on the tango banner and use code Emily for a special discount. Okay, let's get into our topic. It's all about getting in the mood, Miss. Ooh. Getting in the mood.

Getting in the mood.

Yeah. What gets you in the mood to. Well, we're really talking about masturbation. What gets you in the mood for masturbation?

What gets me in the. I see. That's where I think women and men differ, because guys don't really need a setup. I mean, it's hilarious.

Thought comes in your head.

Yeah, thought comes in my head. But I mean, I don't need. I don't need any kind of setup or anything, you know, you just do it if you have time. But what's hilarious, if anybody listens to Howard Stern, which I suggest they do on SiriusXM, which is. It's an amazing show. Forget about all the, like, porn stars.

Like, he's great interviews and. But he always does talk about his masturbation routine, which is freaking hilarious. He talks about how he uses an iPad to watch. Watch porn. And then he has, like, he has tissues that he holds the iPad with.

And he doesn't want to get dirty.

Tissues that he keeps in his underwear to keep everything clean. And then he has to shuffle, after he's done, over to the trash can to throw away the tissues and all kinds of crazy routines. Like. I know, I understand. Like, people do have their. Their routine.

You don't have a routine.

No, I don't. But I'm sure, like, in the past I did.

Right? That's funny that. Yeah.

Well, we're talking about it because you would have to hide it. But when you're living on your own.

You just splooge all over the bed, whatever. Your girlfriend's really happy, clean it up later. But it's. Yeah, I get it. Yeah.

But do you.

Do you.

I'm sure as a female, you might have a better, more thought out routine.

It is a little more thought out. And I think that this is the thing that I want to share with everyone is that, you know, we hear from so many, you know, couples or women and men who just, you know, thinking, like my partner, just not in the mood for sex. They're not really, you know, they don't get turned on. They. They just don't. They're not on board the sexual train. They're sort of shut down for business. And so we're going to talk a little bit about how to even get in the mood for sex, for masturbation, because especially for women, you're right. Men, like, have a thought, they race home and they get their car and they jack off and they're done. I'm not saying that's every man, but for women.

It'S our mind, like, our brain is our largest sex organ and has to get on board with sex. So we often have to start thinking about, like, thoughts and things that turn us on so we can get going towards masturbation because it's so important to masturbate. That's why we have a whole month. Dedicated their whole lives dedicated to it, like myself. But it's because it will help with everything you do. I mean, there's health benefits. It's like stress reliever. And also, if you're a. It helps you keep. It helps stoke your desire for sex. And the more you masturbate, the more you touch yourself, the more you learn about all the pleasure you can have. Like, the more sex you're gonna want, the more you're gonna want to masturbate. And it got me thinking about this because again, a lot of them are like, I don't have time to masturbate. I've got two kids at home. Or my life's so busy. Unlike men who'd be like, I'm gonna make time. Cause I got a boner right now and I'm gonna do it. So if you're one of those women, you're like, I can't quite figure out how to fit it in. We're gonna give you some tips for that. And for the men or women who love you, wanna help you with that. But it started getting me think something that's, you know, I've always been like a workout person, but I go and like, you know, have my dips where I don't. And I realized that, like, this is a basic thing that people do. And I started lying out my clothes before in the morning. So I'm like, okay, I wake up, I step. There's my tennis shoes, my running clothes, and I step into them and I leave. And it was so much easier to work out. I'd never tried that before. I know people do that, lay out the clothes the night before. But it was like, it got me going. So then I started thinking about that. It kind of reminded me of masturbation and that how you have to have your environment set up in a way that's like, conducive for you and inspire you to masturbate. So if you're like, I want to do it, but the door doesn't lock and the loobs across the room, and I haven't charged my vibrator and someone's going to come home, or my. You know, all these reasons why not to. But if you have like a certain thing that triggers you when you walk in in like a good way, like you have your like, toy sitting out, already charged, or lube, or maybe it's your favorite song and you could start setting up triggers or put on your calendar, whatever it is to get you going, that will help. And I know that it comes easy for most men, but we, you know, it can be still a new activity for a lot of women. And they just haven't quite gotten into it. And we also just take longer to warm up, so we have to. Sometimes for women, it's like on the way home, if you're like, oh, tonight I want to masturbate, you could start like thinking about sexy time. The most recent time you were with someone where you were really turned on. This is something you bring into masturbation as well. We have to conjure up things. Yes.

But also I, you know, I've been talking about this for years. I always kind of use masturbation as a tool to be able to last longer when I'm actually having sex. You know, I mean, they always said it was pre gaming too, but it was also just like, you know, a process to. To help out when you're actually having sex.

Right. Because then you won't. You can come again. You won't. You'll last.

You're not as excited. Maybe. I mean, maybe that's weird to say. Like, yeah, yeah, definitely. I'm excited about having sex with this person.

But you just had your release, so. Yeah, yeah, no, that's true. So let's talk about some tips to get yourself in the mood for masturbation.

Marijuana.

Marijuana.

Tequila.

I saw the friend the other night and she's like, yeah, I can only have an orgasm when I'm high.

She's like, are you serious?

Yeah. I mean, that can help for some people. I think that was the only sex advice my mom ever gave me. She doesn't smoke pot. She's like, maybe you should smoke a joint.

Are you serious? Relax.

I was like 19. She's like, do you ever try smoking a little? I'm like, mom, no. Really bitter.

There's a certain brownie out there that I swear they must put Viagra in it or something.

A brownie?

Yeah.

What do you mean?

There's like some.

Where do they sell it?

They sell it at a dispensary in Los Angeles, I heard. Allegedly.

Oh, it's a dispensary that actually sells a marijuana brownie. That's forced. It's like a via.

Yeah, but no, no, but it's not meant to be. But for some reason it has that effect.

See in edible. Because they can just kind of like lethargic, but not this magic brownie.

Allegedly.

Get him as a sponsor.

It has XXX on it.

Okay.

I don't know what that means.

I don't either, but it's wherever you're at, Menace.

Which I heard from a friend.

You heard from a friend for sure. That's great.

It has different strokes for different folks.

So you made your. You made your erection last longer.

Alleged your friend. Just kidding.

The time that your friend's erection took.

But it definitely has enhanced it. I mean, I know a lot of people like, oh, marijuana is not my thing. Then of course it's not your thing. And then I think alcohol definitely used to be that vice for me. Whatever. Because I didn't suffer from whiskey wiener.

Right.

It did the exact opposite. But I'm like, totally.

You don't drink anymore.

Drinking, it's terrible. It makes you feel like, I know.

And you used to take it to.

The next level and I used to say like, oh, yeah, just drink some tequila. But no, don't.

I know. I'm so glad you don't say that anymore. Now you're just pushing drugs. But that's cool. Whatever it is. I'm kidding. I know. Whatever Marijuana feel. I'm just saying.

And I, I honestly, I don't. I rarely.

I know you don't eat edible. You wouldn't get anywhere.

I'm not. I smoke weed or anything every single day.

No, but it's. People talk about the medicine once every.

Two months or whatever.

Right. Or before the show.

Or before the show.

Okay. Right. There's a lot of different things they can do. Whatever it is that relaxes you. Meditation, deep breaths. You want to get into that, get into the mood. Marijuana.

No, you definitely have to like not psych yourself out because you're like, oh, I want to. Oh, I finally get to have sex with this person. Oh, I want to make sure I'm gonna do the best. Blah, blah. And that's when the time that you last, like two seconds.

Exactly. So that you. Right. You let it go. For women. Yeah, I know. But for women, it can help if you know that you're seeing a partner and you haven't been turned on, like, to master. Like, I feel like the more I masturbate, the more that I want sex. So. So here's some suggestions that you can jumpstart your self loving. All right.

Do it.

Okay. So this is huge. Huge, Huge, huge. I know this has been a problem for me when I haven't been able to get down to business and that is to eliminate distractions. So you want to make time for it no matter what. Ideally, you have more time, you know, than a lot of people, but, you know, sometimes it's good just to get it out. You want to have a quickie rather than nothing at all. So this actually came from a listener, an email from a listener to get us warmed up here. He was the week one winner of how youw Masturbate. We're still we have our contest going. So this was his example. This was how he masturbates. Right? All right. Dear Emily, I really enjoy the show and thought that I would send you an email about how I typically self love. I'm a 38 year old male from Arizona. I don't have much time to enjoy masturbating with two young girls around so I have to do my best to rub one out when I can. I speed home from work So I have 10 minutes before my daughter's bus shows up to relieve myself. I burst into the house and shuffle the dog into the backyard. I can see the disappointment in my dog's face because she's so happy to see me. But I'm on a mission. I grab my phone.

The dog is judging you by the way.

Some online inspiration. I drop my drawers, hit the bed. I usually don't get real far before the dog is barking in the backyard. Both the neighbors and distracted me. I scurry to the back door with my pants around my ankles to let the dog in. I'm running behind now. I make my way back to bed with my half heart erection. I pull out my phone and start trying to find something else fun to look at. By now my dog has made it to the side of the bed and is begging for me to let her up. This is exhausting. I won't be able to do this with her making all this noise. I throw her on the bed and get back to work. I have only minutes now and need to get busy. I have to skip the light porn and dial up something hardcore to make it happen quick. I get jerk it fast and hard. I have to put a pillow to block my dog's view of what I'm doing.

I know Madison, this person is speaking to my heart.

I know. This is why we're reading this. I finished in some dirty laundry and barely have time to zip my pants before running out the door to pick up my kids off the bus. It's kind of sad, but this routine happens more than I commit. Thanks for all your hard work. Our friend in Arizona.

Oh man.

It's a good one, right?

We all gotta do it.

We gotta do it.

I don't know how many shows ago but I was talking about the dog because the dog. I mean because you love the dog. But the dog stares you in the face and he doesn't know. They know. They know.

You don't.

You don't know if they know.

Who cares if they know? It's very. What do you start telling all the dogs in the dog park?

No, but you're like, oh, because these.

Dogs, such as Brownie. And the next thing I know, he's having sex for 16 hours.

He had this huge erection. No, it's just like. I don't know, it just feels weird.

Interesting debate.

It feels weird.

My dog, I just pushed to the corner. She fell asleep.

You can give edibles to your dog now, apparently.

No, I don't do that.

Get that dog to shut up. At least my dog doesn't bark.

You give your dog.

I don't. I don't.

They're sure they do have edibles for us. They do.

They do. Maybe. But you gotta figure out that barking situation.

She's gotta train your dog to be outside that. Give him a bonk him freaking bone with meat. One of those meaty, meaty bones, and he'll let you have sex.

That's when it should be feeding time.

Exactly.

See, we're working this out together.

I got this. Yeah, I got you. Okay, so. But for women, this is okay. Eliminate distractions. Okay. Time. Manage your masturbation. Set aside time and ferment you a good amount of time. If you know that sometimes it takes you a while to get in the mood. Don't give yourself 30 minutes just to get down and busy. Set aside enough time so you don't feel rushed. Also, you want to treat this time as sacred. Turn off your phone. Which actually I've been doing lately. I actually leave my phone outside my bedroom when I go to bed at night. I got a clock in my room. Yeah, because I don't. I'm looking. I'm falling asleep. Like looking at Snapchat or something. It's like, that's not the Snapchat now. I know. I love it. Lock your door if you need to surrender to the moment, whether you're able to climax or not. You'll be glad that you said this time. So remember, this is a practice. This is something that's. It's going to take some time. It could take some time, but this is where we're exploring new rhinestones and going deeper into your pleasure. So you also want to de. Stress. Stress, number one killer of your sex drive. For men, women, couples. We come home, we're stressed. It's the last thing on our mind. So it's so crucial to rid yourself of any tension before you hit the bedroom. What happened in the day, no matter what work. Your mom called. Wardrobe malfunction. Parking ticket, leave it at the front door. If you need to meditate, exercise, take a bath. I meditate at night. I do take baths. Sometimes not enough, but when I do, I'm totally in the mood. Cause it just brings you down and you're like, you get that it brings you down to this level of like calm. You haven't seen me that way, but it happens. Do whatever you need to do to unwind. And the less nagging thoughts that are in your head, bouncing around, the more room there is for the masturbation. Happy friendly thoughts or sexy dirty thoughts or whatever kind of thoughts you have. So yeah, you also menace the next thing. You want to create a space for yourself, like make sure.

Masturbation space.

A masturbation space. Like I have like a meditation space. So there's so much research out here that research that shows that your environment has a huge impact on your state of mind. Like my house was a cluttered mess and now I'm working on making it a lot better and I already feel like it's more of my home right now. And the same goes for your bedroom forever it is that you masturbate. So you want stuff you don't want. And this is even for a couple, you don't want the tv. I know you probably have a TV in your bedroom, but just take all the stuff of work out of your. Make it like as happy and serene as you can and peaceful. Remove clutter work, dirty laundry.

Oh, you would hate it. There's like so much electronic shit in my room.

It's crazy. So bad you're gonna die now also.

You wanna kind of stage like a self seduction, like you are seducing yourself. So you light candles. You can do these cool neon, the new color, changing LED lights. Have you seen these? They got sent to me. It's called lifx, right? Yeah.

You have one? We put it on.

Oh, you put it on? Yeah, you. You screwed in my bulb that night.

No, I didn't.

It was already there.

I observed the screwing.

Okay. So it connects to an app on your smartphone, it changes colors and it set the theme settings, the themes for different moods. And it's a great setting for masturbation. You can even be like, oh, it's the coolest thing. We all have one. I love them. It's called L I F X the light bulb. But anyway, you can just like be like, oh, this is like. Yes, sometimes you need. When I'm talking about your environment, I'm talking about like there might be certain. Sounds like there might Be a candle that gets you in the mood. It might be a lighting. Like when my light goes to this, like, orangey strobey light that you can do. Like, that makes me in the mood. So you want to set the scene for men. Same thing. Whatever you gotta make into a love den. You might just need a sock. I don't know what it is. I feel like men are always coming into their socks. Music is a great thing. You want all the senses, like, on board. Sound, sight, touch, scent. And do the things that you would do if you were going to seduce someone or you wanted to be turned on. Like, how would you turn yourself on?

So it helps to think sexy thoughts to get your brain on board. So again, Vic Menace, I think that you're for men, a lot of times your sexy thoughts are just popping up here and there. And for women.

Porn, great way to do it.

Yeah, but I'm sure you're not watching porn every time.

No, fantasizing. But a lot of women are just.

You know, they're thinking, is it sporadic or is it something that you've set up? It's when it's masturbation time.

I think it's both. It could be something that just happened. Like, if I just had, like, a particularly hot sex sesh, or I would.

Wait, after you already had sex, you're gonna masturbate again?

No, no, I'm saying, like, if recently or there's something fresh to my mind or like a new person I'm dating, I, like, think about different flickers of being with him moments. And that's kind of like what I do mostly. Or different scenarios. Like, think about, like, women together. Watch Lesbort. Yeah, like most women. Totally. So you also fantasize again, you don't have to watch porn. You can just fantasize in your head. That could be just as great for a lot of people. But here's the other thing about fantasy, that's also a practice. So there's a lot of people I run into. And, like, you know, I don't fantasize. I don't know what turns me on. I don't know what. What I think about. Actually, a lot of this work I'm doing with Celeste and Danielle at my Somatica training is about six months of training, but it is gonna be about, like, being a Somatica practitioner, helping people realize what truly turns them on. Men and women, like, you think you know, but there might be stuff that you've repressed. And also if you just really don't know, like, ways to like create scenarios that you know will get you there. Because so many of us have a hard time getting in the mood for sex. So there's like erotica. You can listen to it, you can read all that stuff. Female friendly porn. Erica Lutz. Erica Lutz has a site, X Confessions. It's a feminist porn site. It has a compilation of erotic short films. Monthly subscription is $27. It's a very popular site though. We love Good sex. Created by 20something Lucy. Blush covers some of the best porn sites for women. If you don't know where to start, it's a great place, it can show all of them to you. Tumblr, Great place for porn right now. Yeah, you've got gifs, you've got images, you've got short video clips that can lead you down the path to finding a lot of great stuff. Lady Cheeky. We love Lady Cheeky's site. Check her out on Tumblr. It's one of the top rated female friendly erotic Tumblr sites. And then porn for men out there, sky's the limit. Pornhub, YouPorn, plenty of sites out there. And then for fetishes we got kink.com, burning Angel, Beautiful Agony that just shows women's faces, orgasm and men's.

Oh, speaking of, have you heard.

About sex bit yet? Did you hear about that sex bit? Yeah, it's like. Yeah, I think it's youporn or one of those companies. They came up with a website where it's like basically working out but you do different sex positions and you time yourself and you get points and all kinds.

Really. It really encourages couples to have sex together. That's really cool.

I know that there's a supposedly like working out type thing.

We've had sex as many times this week. I think that'd be great. Can you do it for masturbation too?

I'm sure you could. Yeah. Where you earn different points and it's helping you work out.

I think the point thing works like I like doing it with my walking, my steps and I have a meditation app where like it says like I've meditated like 85 hours this year. I know, right? That could been like lucky curing cancer or something. But I am meditating with all that time. Okay, that's good. Yeah. So fantasize. Okay. It's a very important skill for women to develop. Like I said, research for women. Research shows women who are able to fantasize have a better chance of reaching orgasm. And this was something I can relate to because it did not come naturally to me. Like, most my thoughts are like, anxious thoughts. Like what I do. I didn't do this. I gotta do that. Like, I can't relax. So I really had to, like, find what turned me out. Well, we always.

We've always said it's like in your head most of the time on all this. Everything.

Everything is in your head. And most of the stuff we can craze in our head, and most of our limitations are in our head. And most of the things you tell yourself that you can't fantasize, you can't have an orgasm, you can't have 16 orgasms, or you can't stay hard, A lot of it is in our head. I understand your body might not be on board with that, but once you get your head on board, your body will follow. So just get in touch with what you're feeling, you know, emotionally, physically at the time, Think about sexy scenarios, and then you'll have a lot of material for your masturbation bank. Another important thing about getting in the mood, sex toys for a lot of people can be seen as the very sure thing. If you're not sure you're gonna masturbate, you're never gonna get over flashlight. For men, we like the womanizer, we like the magic wand, and also deep breathing. I'm telling you, it helps with everything.

Breathing and lube. Lube and breath. Kill me now. That's all I need. Okay, so let's get on to some emails. All right.

I love it.

All right, thank you, everybody, for emailing me. Feedbackexwithemily.com I love hearing from you. And do you know that now it's so easy. Just go to the website. You could ask us a question straight from the site. Just click on the Ask Emily tab, select Ask a question and then ask away. Also include your name, your age, where you're listening from, and how you listen.

Love it.

Hey, Emily, I have a very interested story slash question for you. Just looking for your opinion or helpful info. Here we go. I've been married to my Sexy wife for eight years. We've been together for 10. We are very sexually active and adventurous. We love each other very much. She's a longtime friend. She has a longtime friend that brought up a possible foursome between us and her husband. Dr. Drew's my boy, so I know what he would say. But I'm an Emily listener too, so.

What would Drew say?

Drew would say, don't do it. Don't ever foursome. It's not great.

Emily.

Emily's Open to hearing what's going on with these people. So I've had multiple conversations with my wife about boundaries and what we are okay with. What I gather is neither couple wants to do a swap. More like have sex in front of each other and enjoy the experience. Girl on girl is cool, but don't want to turn into a show instead of a group thing. They've discussed, we've discussed and we will all discuss together before it happens, if it happens. So is there any questions that should be asked or do you have any advice? Sorry. So long. Thanks. Fluffernutter.

Fluffernutter.

I love it. All right, that's great. Start with that. No. So just call yourself Fluffernutter. That'll turn everyone on. Okay, listen, you and your wife. I love this. Fluffy. Can I just call you Fluffy for short? You and your wife discuss personal boundaries. Great place to start. But with this type of group scenario, the main focus is on each couple's experience. So you gotta set boundaries there too, within each couple. Then it can be discussed as a group. So know your limits that you and your wife have. Like, we don't want them watching this particular act. Or I don't. You know, there's no kissing or there's no, I don't know what it is. Cuddling. There's no touching below the belt. You make up your own rules. So if you enjoy a little backdoor play, but only in private, you don't want your wife to slip you the, you know, pinky in the middle of sex with the partner. Your best friend in the room. I totally get it. And then you mentioned girl on girl. Are you comfortable with that? And really picture it like, how far are you comfortable with it going? What will the guys be doing in the meantime? How close is the bed? You know, privacy and discretion is also important. Since these are your friends. You got to lay down some rules for the privacy of this bed. Because anytime you miss sex and friendship or sex and anything, there's going to be a risk. So if one person likes what they see, they want to take it further. You just got to make sure that you're 100% comfortable. I think you're going about this right. You just need a little more specifics nailed down with your partner and then talk about it with your friends. But don't rush into it. Remember, there is no rush for this. It's great that you guys are thinking about ways to make things interesting, but you just want to make sure you're on solid ground.

Again. If there's any little Hint that there might be jealousy. Don't do it.

Exactly.

But if you think it's gonna be all good, then go for it.

Yeah. And I would just take a while to think about that. But yeah, I like that you are talking about it. Sounds like you're on the right track, Fluffy. Okay, I think that's all we got time for. That's it. It's a wrap. It's a wrap, baby.

It was so much fun.

Happy Master Race. So much fun. Happy Masturbation month. Go see Menace and eat burgers with him and support a really good charity.

Tomorrow, the 21st, the 28th. Yeah. One's for animals and the other is for lymphoma research. So if you can come out, please do. If you can't, don't worry. Don't. You're not gonna hurt my feelings.

Cool, thanks. Yeah, thanks for checking it out. And I'm fellow Menace everywhere. Ennis.

Ennis.

Yeah. Okay. And I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackextextemily.com.

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