Tinder Blunders & Threesome Dilemmas

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com because right there, you know you need to go boop. And you subscribe to the podcast, which is so easy. We love when you subscribe. It's really easy to do. And you can also find us on Google Play and SoundCloud and sports Spotify, and also follow us on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, exwithemily. And that's what's just so fun about life. And I'm here with menace, because you can just do all that stuff.

What up, Emily? How you doing?

What's going on with us? I'm doing really well.

I want to thank all the listeners. I know we thank listeners all the time, but I'm going to do it real quick because I was going through the Sex with Emily Instagram page and there was a picture posted of us together, and people had all these nice comments. So I just want to say thanks for that.

I know, and that's great. Like you unbelievably. I know, but. And I really. I do, too. I read all the comments and actually it's like on my to do list is I want to, like, thank people. Do you comment back to your comments?

Not all of them, but I tried to. I mean, like, the really important stuff. No in my heart, if somebody has a question, I try right. Right back.

Well, I try to, too, but if I don't, it doesn't mean that I don't see your comments and read your comments. And, like, every time someone writes on an Instagram post, like, I love the show, I listen. I get, like, my heart. I get. My heart gets really warm, and I feel really grateful in that moment. I never take it for. I'm like, oh, my God. Someone, like, likes the show. It still feels really good. So thank you.

It's really cool.

We appreciate that. So it's good to see you, Menace. I've had a lot go on since I've seen you last.

I know.

It's been, like, eight years.

It's been a while. We took a week off.

Yeah.

Madison was out of town, right?

Madison was gone. I was gone. But I. Before, Yeah, I had a sex conference. Sex toy conference. Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo. It's twice a year. And, you know, I love these sex toy shows because.

You know, it's like every single sex toy on the planet is there and all, like, the newest toys that are coming to market and all the fr. Like, these are. I'm doing this for 10 years, so, like, I know everybody in the industry, and it's just freaking fun. It's like three days, and everyone's like, try this toy. Have you tried this? And we've taken, you know, we did a bunch of videos and photos. You can check those out across the board.

But my really cool.

I know. And my highlight, because, you know that, like, one of my dreams is. Do you know one of my dreams?

What is your dream?

One of my dreams in life is to have a lube on every nightstand, as you know.

So I just want to make sure I had the right one.

I have a couple dreams. It's true. I want a dog. No. Joe. Joe. Lube is this amazing lubricant. And they had this great booth because everyone sets up booths. You've been trade shows. And they had this bicycle set up, right. And it was just, like, set up there as, like, show, but it has, like, a little cart on the front. Like one of those, like, front cart you could put things in.

Yeah.

And there was, like, lube all over, and they were having all their tables. I was like, I really want to. I want to ride that bike. Like, I want to ride that bike because it's filled with lube, and I want to, like, give away lube. So I said, you guys, can I ride your bike? And I got on their bike I hijacked it and I started riding it around the show. Like a lube, throwing lube. And it was so fun and in their loops. Dude, it was awesome. And I kind of want to take it home because I feel like it would. It would help me further my mission if I could maybe just go through the streets of la, like start here. Like start one city at a time.

I thought it would be. I thought it'd be like a contraption where you get on it and it shoots lube at you.

That would be interesting too. Like the tequila. Like in Mexico, it's in your bob and they shoot the tequila in your mouth. Yeah. But here's the thing about those lube. They have a new gelato collection. Okay. So it's lube, but it tastes like gelato and it's body safe. Ph balance. And they had it in this ice cream cart. So one of their gimmicks was that like you could have ice cream and they'd pour their lube on it. Like you could have. It comes with like chocolate flavor. What is it? Like salted caramel. And so it was really cool. So that was really fun. That was a highlight for me. And then also, this is a funny story. So I was having dinner with, you know, We Vibe toys that I love. We love all the We Vibe toys. So Frank, who's the president of We Vibe, I sent him. So, you know, we have our Sex with Emily T shirts now, which are for sale on our website. On the front has our logo. They're for men and for women and menace. Won't wear one because it's gray, which is. He only wears black T shirts.

Yeah.

No, but on the front it says.

My logo. On the back it says, I had sex with Emily. And all I got was this T shirt. And we have like really cute women's tanks. So I sent him a man tank, a male tank, the male T shirt. I was like, frank, what's up? Did you get your key? Lives in Canada. I said, how? How's your T shirt? Did you get it? He goes, gotta tell you a story about that. So I sent him the T shirt. And he said that one day he was. He works from home on Fridays. And he was sitting there at home and all of a sudden his son, who's 17, had just got his senior, went to school.

Yeah.

And it was like 8:45 in the morning. And the son comes back home, walks through the door, and he's like, what's up? He's like, I got kicked out of school today. Turns out it was on Fridays, they can wear whatever they want to school. They can wear T shirts. Cause usually it's like a. I think it's like a private school that you can't wear T shirts, but on Fridays you can wear it if you want. And casual Friday. Casual Friday, he decided to wear the Sex with Emily T shirt. Got kicked out of school. Yep. Kicked out. Catholic school. Absurd. So he's like. And he's like, my son.

He was, like, proud of him coming from a million miles away.

Right. But he was like, I'm gonna use. So I gotta send him another one. He took his shirt. It was kind of funny. That was a good story. And, you know, speaking of also sex toy shows that I am going to be in.

Brooklyn, New York, September 24th and 25th. You are sexual Health Expo.

That's awesome.

Do you want to come? She.

I would love to. Is it on a weekend?

It's. Yeah, it's a weekend. You're not gonna come, but if you really wanted to, it's so cool.

Friends in Brooklyn?

Yeah. Come. I got a place to stay, man.

Kim, They're. They're a band. They're really good friends of mine, Matt and Kim, if people haven't heard of them, look, look them up. But Brooklyn's what's happening.

They.

They rep Brooklyn really hard.

Okay?

So they should come.

So we've done this, our fourth one we've done in different cities, and it's the, you know, leading sex experts in the country speaking all day long. There's different, like, breakout seminars, workshops, and then there's top sex toys, and you can see all the stuff that I'm talking about. So come join me. I think the first 2000 tickets are free. If you click on the banner on our website, you can just come. And people are always saying, when you come to the east coast, come on, I'll be there. But they just added a bunch of new sponsors, so I need to tell you about them. They've got, in addition to all the other sponsors, they now have After Dark, Ansell, which is Lifestyles, Blue Dreams, Sola Cautionwear, Dame Products, Getting in the Mood, Indulgence Boutique, Sir Richards, Joy Box, Lelo Nas Toys, Next Gen Health Solutions, Pure Romance Satisfier subsensuals. There's going to be. So what I'm saying is.

Wait, it's Next Gen, dude.

Yeah.

That's crazy. That's what, like a bunch of radio stations. That program that it runs on, it's called Next Gen, right?

Well, I didn't know they branched off. They branched off, dude. Because you know why? Sex sells.

Yeah.

And no matter what you're doing right now, get into the sex business as well. It works. So that's. That's what's happening.

Wow. You're busy.

I'm really busy.

Brooklyn.

Brooklyn. What?

You got any booty calls in New York?

Not yet. But speaking of calls.

You know what's funny? You just reminded me. Last time I was in New York, I. The last time I was into Tinder, which now I'm into it again. Your fault, because you started swiping on my phone a few weeks ago.

I broke the sale.

You broke the. The Tinder seal. And I forgot this. I always said that I've only had one Tinder date, which was the live Tinder date on the show, but I had another one in New York, and I was there, like, two years ago, and I met this guy, and we went on a date, and I think I fooled around with him, but then I got really grossed out and made him leave my hotel room.

Oh, wow.

Not grossed out. That's a really bad way. He just. I realized that, first of all, you would assume, like, of course, sex with them, like, bring him back to the hotel room. But we were having a really nice time. And then once I got up there, I was like. I'm actually. I, like, kissed him, and then I was like, bye, fun, see ya. Leave. That's what happened. So. But speaking of Tinder. Hot. That was really a hot session. I'm sorry. Now this time, I'm going to find. Yes. So the. The answer to your question is. Currently, I don't have any hookups in New York, but I'm sure you'll get.

A bunch of emails now.

Exactly. Who wants me to kick them out of my hotel room? Yeah, so just email me.

Send D pics.

Send. No, no D pics, but ton of deep. But this leads me to sex of the news. Because the first story is about Tinder.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

What's going on with Tinder these days? I haven't really heard any Tinder news too much. I mean, Tinder was, like this huge thing. I mean, like, oh, it. It's not just Tinder. All these dating apps. It was like every other news story was about it, but now it's kind of, like, falling off. I know. Everyone is using them.

Everyone's using them. You got to use it. You guys, if you are. Here's the thing. If you're dating in the world at all, you're like, oh, I can't Meet anybody. Just think of it this way. It's all a numbers. So let's say you go to the coffee shop and you meet. I always use the coffee shop. But you go to the bar, you meet people, but this just increases your odds. So you're gonna meet 30 more people that you normally would bump into at the coffee shop. And yeah, you won't love all of them, but you just need one.

Yeah.

So just. You might as well expand your odds. So Tinder Social, it's an the app. Tinder launches a feature to let people find group dates, which obviously can be mistaken for group sex because it is seen as being a hookup site. So they have to be very careful by expanding in this direction because it could be perceived as like just throwing orgies everywhere. But what it does is it accesses your Facebook friends and it lets you, if you choose, invite them along because it connects to your Facebook. So you do that and you're like. And again, it goes back to the whole. A lot of people don't get nervous or have social anxiety one on one dates. So if you want to include your friends, you know, you could use this app. So Tinder Social is designed to make it as easy as possible to plan your night, get out in the real world and meet new people. That's what they say it takes to the next level.

That's cool. I wonder if they'd break it down by interest too.

Yeah, maybe like if you want to go wine tasting.

Because meetup.com you know, that's where I go to do French bulldog meetups, things like that.

To do that.

Yeah, it's fun. They have huge ones in Long Beach, California, where hundreds of French bulldogs will show up.

That's a lot of dogs. Yeah, bulldogs. Okay. Well, the thing I want to say, I want to thank you though, because I. So yeah, I went back on Tinder because you start. And so I have not gone out with anyone yet, but I have a few people that I'm kind of interested in. But I just want to give people example. I don't remember. I think initially, yes. So, but I've been getting some interesting messages. So this one is an example of not a great first message. Ready? He says, hi. Hi. I said hello. He said, I can see you're quite fit with curves and sexy.

What the fuck?

I am not answering. Okay. And he's really cute. Okay. He was cute.

And I'm like, loser. Okay.

That makes me sound like he's gonna be like, we're gonna get kale and we're gonna go do CrossFit every day. Oh, it is boring.

It automatically comes off like, let's just bang. And that's it.

Okay. Right. But here's the next guy.

Yeah.

I love the fairy princess pic because there's a picture of me and a fairy princess.

Don't stop.

He says, so cute. Hi, Emily. You have soulful eyes. Are they hazel? Okay, so that might sound worse to you, but it's a lesser of two evils here. And he was pointing out something specific in our. My eyes. Hazel and so cheesy. But I was like, it's eyes. It's specific. It's not like you're curvy. You're my type of chick. Let's go bang.

Eyes.

Okay. Do you want to hear it? Even better. Better one. Yeah.

What do you got?

Oh, God.

Dying over here.

Oh, God, there's some bad ones.

Yeah, read them.

Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, here's what happened. So this is my other thing. This one guy that I actually like. We've been texting back and forth. He's really funny. He was a very, like, smart, funny texter. And the first thing he said to me was, I'll find this. He said, so what's your podcast about? Because it says, facebook has a podcast. That's like, my first thing it says. I can't even hide that because it's like, what my job description or whatever on Facebook. He's like, to me, this is the very first thing he said. So, what's your podcast? I'm like, oh, God, are we gonna start there?

And I said, do we need wizards and potions?

It was so bad, right? Exactly. So I was like, I don't want to lead with the thing, but I know you're going to Google me anyway. So he said to me, first thing he said, better than fairy princess. Oh, wow, I'm dying to know what your show is. And I said, yeah, well, the topic is usually a crowd pleaser. Must I answer now? He says, well, you're texting with a guy who just wrote a. He wrote a book about. Kind of tangentially had to do with sex. So I said to him, okay, it's called Sex with Emily. And then this is all in our text. He goes, okay, I'm going to listen now. And then he starts listening as we're texting, and he says, chatting on Tinder. And he's like, oh, my God, you're talking about your vagina. You're talking about. Now you're not squirting. And I'm like, Look at your face. But actually, I'm gonna go out with him because he's really funny. He can handle it. I'm like. Well, I usually don't like to lead with the sex thing, but okay, you know what? I actually can help guys who can handle it. That's how I'm gonna go with guys who think it's, you know, freaked out about it. I can tell the guys who are just gonna be in it for the sex thing. I haven't met him yet, though, so I've been busy.

All right.

All right, fine. Well, so thank you. And I got to say that. Yes. Tinder. Oh, hookup app. Only if you want to hook up.

Yeah.

Okay.

How about the Pokemon hookups? You got any info on that? They're making dating apps.

I know. Well, they should. I should have done it. We should have made it the first day. I've got nothing on that. I did download it because you did with. You were here. But you think I got time? You got time to poke me, man, I'm going to get hit by a car.

Catch a Charmander yet?

No.

Or Jigglypuff?

No. Only the squirtle. I want nothing else but the squirtle.

Okay, now that we're talking about squirting, what's up with that? Why does everyone want to do that?

That's a really good question, and I'll tell you why. Because it's important. Because the reason why we never got asked the question about squirting when we started 10 years ago is because nobody saw squirting. People didn't know women could squirt. Maybe it was, like this hypothetical, like, thing. They think maybe one day I heard of what was, like, Legion years ago in a dark. Dark. Yeah. Thousands of years ago, there was a woman who squirted. But now we see important all the time. And so I think that guys think it's. There's a lot of reasons. I think that they see it. They think that would be, like, this ultimate satisfaction. Like, they. Because it's something they do to the woman, and she's squirting, and, like, that must mean that, like, she's really, like. It's the next level. And I think that guys squirt, and they're like, wow, guys.

But isn't it not even. Not even an orgasm?

For some women, it is an orgasm feel, but it feels stimulation of the G spot. And many women that talk about it say that they. It is separate that they do not experience orgasm with squirting. But guys don't Care. It's visual.

That's unnecessary.

You like the mess.

Cleanup is what it is.

You know what, put some blankets down, put some. Put some beach towels down that you don't use very much and you do it. So that's the whole squirting thing. And that's why that comes up all the time in choking.

Riveting.

Thank you, Porn. Thank you very much. All right, okay, so let's give a shout out to our sponsors and then we're going to, you know, do little emails. Thanks everyone for supporting our sponsors. I love you.

It's almost that time again. The Sexual Health Expo is back. And this time it's taking place in one of my favorite cities on earth, New York City. I'm so honored to once again be hosting this one of a kind event. Like, seriously, what other event brings today's top sex educators and the hottest pleasure products together under one roof? Exactly. It's the only one. The Sexual Health Expo will be taking over Brooklyn September 24th and 25th. And for the first time ever, you can attend for free. Thanks to our good friends at We Vibe. The first 2,000 people to register will be given free admission to the two day event. Sexual Ed sponsor the Pleasure Chest has planned out a weekend's worth of seminars on today's most relevant wellness topics, all delivered by an array of sex experts I know and admire. Not only will you be expanding your sexual horizons, you'll also be able to see brand new products from Jimmy Jane, Doc Johnson, Joe Lubricants, Fleshlight Lifestyles and Skin Condoms. See youe In Bed, Hot Flowers usa, iamtoy Caution Wear Condoms, Kama Sutra, Babe Land, pur, the Pleasure Chest, High Pleasures, Unbound Box, UV and more. You can learn more about the sponsors of my website. Just click on the she banner for all kinds of information. And a lot of you ask me to let you know when I'll be on the East Coast. So mark your calendars for September 24th and 25th and get ready to come visit me in Brooklyn. Whether you walk, run, drive, fly, swim, or Uber, you're in for two days of sex, positive education and fun. Just reserve your free tickets. Visit sexualhealthexpo.com today. And remember, the free tickets are limited to the first 2,000 reservations. So don't wait. These will disappear quickly. I'll see you there. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Okay, Madness. We're doing emails, feedbacksexwithemily.com. oh, oh, oh, but besides that.

What?

Just go to the website now. It's so easy. You just say, ask Emily. And you can so easily just submit the question there. Right? As long as you want. Although not too long, because sometimes, you know, we gotta edit it down and yeah, just send it to us. Then you don't have to do the feedback. But that's a new option. Another option, Another option. Leave me a message. 818-ASKSWE1. You can leave a voicemail. That's 81-8-275-7931. We're going to start doing voicemail shows. We've got a bunch of great voicemails.

Oh, wow, you did?

Yep. So we're going to do that. We can't. We can't wait to feature your questions live on the. Whoa.

Okay, that's cool.

Okay, so let's get into the email. Dear Emily, my boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We love each other and are each other's best friend. However, he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. He says that if we bring another woman into bed, things can get better.

Hell yeah.

Is the relationship over or can we work through this? Anna, what is your problem today?

What?

You're high.

No, I wish I was.

Your eyes look red.

Oh, I've been up since my Alarm was at 1:50am this morning.

David, I'm sorry. You're good. You're chugging through. You're awesome. It's all good. Okay, so, Anna, here's the thing. It's okay. I get it.

But no, I'm just having fun.

I love when you're staying away. You're so cute. And we're doing our drunk show soon.

Yes.

Okay, so, Anna, here's the thing. I'm so glad you wrote because so many couples think like, like, oh, well, we're just gonna do this thing, like have a baby. That'll help us. That'll help our relationship and having a threesome, kind of the same thing. If you think that bringing in a third partner is going to save your relationship, it will not help at all. I'm sure that she loves him, but sex can diminish over time. What do you think?

Medicine?

Have a threesome, save your relationship.

No, that's not gonna. That's not gonna save a relationship. It's just gonna cause a ton of problems.

Exactly.

Now, okay, it's crazy because I've been talking about this for years and you've, like, shocked.

I don't agree.

You don't agree with it at all. And I'm sorry. Like, I always, like, promote drinking and things like that. And if People like have a problem with drinking. I'm, I'm really sorry. I know that's a big struggle for a lot of people. But if it's not.

If you're a minor drinker. Yeah.

If you're a minor drinker. There was new research that came out that said the, the couple that drinks together stays together.

Can you believe. Did you do that study with your like three friends?

No, it's like scientific study that came out that, that people.

Because they're just numb to each other's emotions and. No. Okay, but you drink like have a glass of wine every night or like get wasted.

The level I didn't really read.

Well, why don't you before you bring scientific studies to the show?

Well, people have Google, they can look it up them damn self.

Okay, look it up. I'm just saying couples who do things together and have similar interests. Yes. But if you are only drinking, you have a couple.

But here's the other factor though. Drinking can cause a shit ton of problems.

Oh yeah, absolutely. So I have no, believe me, I love a glass of wine or dirty martini or two.

Yeah.

As long as it's in moderation and it loosens you up and you have a good time, I'm okay with that.

I barely use it. I barely ever drink anymore.

I know. You were so fun when used to get blackout drunk though.

I, I, Yeah, well, you don't remember.

But you were fun.

Ish.

Now I like you better now. I mean, I've always loved you. So here's the thing though. Anna. Let's go back to Anna here. Because I'm sure that you do love each other. But when the sex diminishes in a long term relationship, you gotta work on the sex and you gotta communicate about it and, and to bring in a third partner is not the way to go. And I'm sure like, yeah, I say blowjobs. Four years. No, they've been together four years and you're best friends and so I'm not sure how old you are. Cause you did not mention your age, where you live and how sin. Which is what we love. The only way it could get better is if you really truly like get into like, what are the issues? Why aren't you having sex? Is it that he thinks that you don't want it anymore? Is it that you guys haven't, you know, you've gotten kind of familiar with each other and you're not doing things to mix it up. You're not speaking to each other about like what you truly, truly Want. I mean, he's telling you you want a threesome. Guess what? Most guys, a lot of guys, that's their top fantasy. Doesn't mean it actually has to happen. In fact, couples should only have a threesome when they're on super steady solid ground and they've both discussed it. So that is not the answer. But maybe you could watch porn. And this might sound silly to you, but I swear to God, you could watch porn together, like with a threesome being depicted in it.

And then you could, like, giving random blowjobs just out of nowhere.

Random active blow jobs.

Kind of don't make this awkward space where you're like, oh, you know, really got to talk about it, work it out. Just start giving some random blowjobs. Like start being.

I wish. The blow job.

No, but start being a little more aggressive and see what happens.

Initiate sex more.

Yeah, well, there might be a whole, like, weird limbo. Like neither one of you want to be the initiator because it's like you're afraid of rejection.

Well, this is what I'm saying. That resets. Resentments have probably built in your relationship, whereas you guys are not even able to talk about anymore. Maybe he needs more blowjubs. Maybe you need more oral sex. I don't know what's going on with you guys, but I'm telling you, do not go down the threesome category. Turn all of your attention towards each other. And if you've listened to this show, you know, I've done God knows, hundreds of shows with tips and tricks. Go to my website about how to keep things interesting and how to communicate with your partner. I recommend you guys do that and do not have a threesome. And then if you guys realize, you know what, we cannot get that spark back. We can't get that connection, then it'll be time to end it.

But so this here have a question for you. So this morning, show that I'm part.

Of the Woody show.

The Woody show here in Los Angeles on Alt 98.7. Do you know what we. So you can't say blowjob on the radio because fcc, guess what we call blowjobs?

What?

Mouth parties.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, it's a party in your mouth.

Yeah.

And everyone's invited. I like it.

Mouth parties.

That's good. Luckily, we can say give your man.

A couple mouth parties, right?

And maybe give her a mouth. What's it called when a guy.

Sometimes we don't. We don't say it on the air, but sometimes we say blowies. For fun.

You can't say that on the other.

No.

You guys are a party.

Yeah, we try.

Okay.

Mouth party.

Thanks for that.

When's the last time you given a mouth party?

I can't tell you. It's the longest I've ever gone. Really? I've had zero parties. I've been going stag, giving myself bamboojobs. No, I'm actually on. Remember my manatorium?

Yes.

Which was my moratorium on men. It was about five years ago. I was like, I am not going to date men. And I think I did it for three months. Okay, four months. This has been about five months. Longest I've gone, really? Without a penis in my mouth.

Wow.

Or any penises anywhere. Except for fake penises, which are all around our office.

I'm surrounded by penis.

But it's kind of a purposeful ones right now. It's a purposeful year.

The one by the window scares me. What is that made out of?

That's Maurice. That's our intern.

That.

It's silicone. We should.

It's a monster. And I feel it's gonna catch on fire because it's.

It's in the window. Maurice is a big part of the sex family. You should know him, Madison. We should put on his lap.

No.

He's sweet. He does a lot of things. He's a really. He's just like. He just will do anything we say. Like, he's just great. Like, he'll just kind of participate. We're like, hey, Maurice, can you play the penis in this video? And he's always down.

He's so limp.

He's a little hairy. Madison, when we moved. Producer. When we moved to the new office, Madison washed. She put him in the sink.

You can stretch it, like, to, like, three feet.

I know. He's a little limp right now. You got to turn him on.

Oh, no.

He was super dirty. I look over, and Madison has him in a bowl of suds.

Wait, what do you guys. Okay, hold on.

What?

This thing.

We gotta put it. This will be on our Instagram.

It looks super realistic.

I know. It's a packer. It's like, you could put it in your pants and.

But the thing is.

The thing is, we gotta snap this.

All right? The thing is, with this fake penis, it's super rubbery.

Right? Okay. Menace is.

It's like a Stretch Armstrong kind of thing.

Our intern, Maurice. Yeah.

The problem is. What do you even do with that? That thing can't even get erect. So what is that? Is that just for show, to slap people? In the face.

Yeah. I mean, okay, it's flaccid. Yes, it's a flaccid penis. But you can use it for a lot of things. You could use it in your pants. Yeah. As a necktie. You could use it in your pants as you're packing people who are transitioning, you know.

Okay, this is for. Because you can't, you can't. Definitely can't penetrate with this.

No. Well, no, it's super limp. You can't penetrate with it. But you can just pet it if you want. Hello, Maurice. All right, so he's our long term intern and he's got nice balls.

Maurice. I would take a picture. Yeah.

Sexily.com check out our intern.

Check out a photo to this podcast.

Can we check our. This will be our. He's all over our Instagram too. Yeah. Sex with Emily. Yeah, Maurice. He's my longest.

I've had him for the longest instagram.com sex with Emily. I'm sure there's a Maurice photo.

Oh, and people are still liking the bikini photo. Thanks. Every day it's most liked photo.

Nice.

Okay. Dating a virgin. Hey, Emily. I'm 33 year old straight single guy and I love it. I date a lot of mid to late 20 year old women who seem to love being single as well. We hang out for a while, go on a few dates, have great sex most of the time and then move on. It's been awesome. But I recently met a woman who was 29 and very attractive. At the end of our fourth date, I dropped her off at her house and she asked if I'd like to come in. Immediately she jumped on me and we got naked. Although she said we cannot have sex because she's a virgin and wants to find a guy that she can fall in love with before she has sex with anyone. So my question is, how do I approach this? I like her a lot. We have great sexual chemistry. I enjoy hanging out with her. But. But I don't see myself loving her anytime soon. Maybe in eight months. But for now I love where I'm at. I have a lot of sexual experience with women and I know we would have an amazing time sexually, but I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. But can I tell her life is not a fairy tale and her night in shining armor is probably not going to pop out of the woods and sweep her off her feet in three dates or is that too harsh? Cam?

Well, definitely that's too harsh with. With that kind of Feedback.

I don't know. I definitely talked to her about it. Say, hey.

You just be straight up with her.

No, Cam, here's the deal. Based on what you shared, he has no business being with this girl. Cam's in the stage of his life where he wants to hit it and quit it. He wants to date girls. He's into the conquest.

Stated that she needs her knight in shining armor. Art.

No, no, no. She stated all of it. Okay, so let me just recap real quick. So Cam is into this phase of his life where he's having a great time. He's 33. He's dating lots of girls in their 20s. They go out a few times, they hang out, they have sex, and then he moves on. And he said, it's awesome. But now, he met a girl, they had four dates, and she happens to be a virgin. And she doesn't want to have sex because she says, you know what? I want to be in love, and I want to feel safe and comfortable and loving with someone that I have sex with for the first time. And Cam's like, but I really like her. Should I tell her, like, you know, just. That guy's not going to come along. No, Cam, you're going to hurt this girl because you are at a very different stage in your life. She wants to wait till she has falls in love. And while that might not be so realistic and you're right, like, right away, he's like, oh, in eight months, you'll love her. First of all, how do you know in eight months you're gonna love her? That's even besides the point. You are gonna hurt this girl because as a byproduct of just where you're at now. Like, I love that you love where you're at. That's great. You stay doing that and let this woman, the virgin, go out and date a guy that she feels safe with, who's gonna call her after they have sex. And I'm not sure you're gonna be that guy. So be honest with her and say, this is where I'm at. I'm dating lots of women having sex. I'm not ready to be in a relationship and fall in love right now. And you think she's great, and it's probably gonna hurt her. But guess what? Hurt her a lot more if you break her cherry and don't call her disappear ghost.

You don't want to be that dude, even though somebody else will do it to her.

Don't be that guy.

Me?

No, don't. Can't Be that guy. You probably were that guy.

It's karma, dude.

It's true.

I mean, if you're hooking up with a bunch of other chicks anyways, who cares?

Oh, wait. But I got caught. I got cut off by one thing. Earlier when I. Maurice came in, I was talking about my manatorium. Did I finish that? I was just saying that it's been purposeful for the last few months that I've decided that I really don't want to jump into another relationship. It's been really good for me to just kind of, like, you know, play around on Tinder, but not just work on myself, man, like I tell everyone else to do. I'm doing it myself. I don't think I finished it. Because you got really distracted by Maurice. Hi, Emily. My name is Alexandra. I'm from Northern Ireland. I've only just found your show. I listen Spotify, and I just can't get enough of it. I list so much. I love Ireland, and you've made me feel very confident about my sexuality. More women need to take control of their sexual pleasure. You rock. Anyway, I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, and, well, the sex is great. We both get wonderful pleasure and are open to trying new moves. My issue, one that has been evident from the start of our relationship. I am constantly having to initiate and drive forward our sexual experiences. I'm the one that makes the first move and pushes the foreplay. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he says nothing. I know he's very body conscious. He's on the slightly heavier side, but I love the way he looks. I'm so attracted to him.

I love you, dude.

I boost his ego so much, he should be walking the streets naked and proud. What I really want to help with is how do I get him to initiate sex with me? I feel like he doesn't want to have sex with me unless I make him. Like you said in one of your podcasts, a common female fantasy is that of being dominated. That's what I want. I got him to do this once before, and I loved it, but it hasn't happened since. I'm exhausted from having initiated all the time. I want him to want me more. How do I do it? I'm not horrible to look at either, if that helps. Thanks. Please help me, Emily. Thanks, Alexandra. See, this is a tough one, Alexandra. And I'm. I mean, it's not tough, but it's actually, I'm glad. I mean, I can understand why it's challenging for you. And I'm really glad that we got this, this email because there's a lot of guys out there who don't initiate sex for one reason or another. And I also want to point out there's a big stereotype, there's a big cultural misconception that men always want sex and women don't. That men are the ones who are pursuing, pursuing, pursuing, and women are like, no, no, I don't want sex. But let me just tell you something. After 10 plus years, I hear from just as much women, just as many women as I do for men, that you know, their partner won't initiate sex. So let's just wash that down the drain, that whole theory, because it doesn't, it's not even true. But here's the thing about communication. I understand that you've tried to talk to him about it, but the problem is a lot of people like yourself think, well I talked to him about it, I told him and he didn't do it or he did it once. And you think that that means that your partner is disregarding you and you think that he can't change. But we have to realize is behavior to change a behavior, it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen with you mentioning to your partner once or twice that he needs to change. Changing a behavior is a whole process. It's like, you know, you need another plan. Because I'm sure he wants to please you. I'm sure that he wants to initiate sex with you and make you happy. But he's got some kind of like mental blocks and he doesn't know why he can't do it. I'm fairly certain and oftentimes it's very deep rooted and you know, it could be like he's afraid of rejection. Maybe his last girlfriend like said, I don't like the way you initiate. I have no idea what it is, but I think that she needs to get some information. Like did you ever, what about you? Are you more the initiator menace or does she initiate more now?

It's 50. 50. It's 50. 50. But actually it used to be she would initiate more like kind of in the beginning of the relationship because I didn't want to be like creep, you know?

Right. That's another reason a lot of guys don't.

But now, yeah, it's now it's like 50, 50.

Okay, that's good, that's healthy.

But I love it when women initiate.

Right. It's great. But about it. Right. But he won't initiate. He Won't.

Is it? And they've been together, like, it affects her self esteem.

Well, that's the thing. So a lot of women, because we're told that men should always want sex, the second our partners initiate, we think that it's because we gained three pounds, we're ugly, we're not attractive. It's all him, nothing to do with you. So he literally might not know how to initiate. So what I say is, have another.

Talk with him to talk about it, get curious.

Say to him, you know, I know I've asked you this before, and I know you love pleasing me, love having sex with you, but when you think about initiating sex, what comes up for you? Ask him, like, when you think about it or don't think about it, like, first of all, like. But, you know, clearly he's not thinking about it. But let's say I was like, initiate right now. What stops you? Like, what's the feeling that you have? Does he think he doesn't know what he's doing? He wants anal and they don't have enough lube around, you know? Ask him, like, what would make it easier for you to initiate? Like, how could you help him? Because here's the thing. We often tell our partner something, and we're like, we don't. We're like, okay, I asked you once and I just want you to do it. And then we think, well, if I really got to ask several times, and it won't feel as authentic. But guess what? We're trying to get to the root of this. So he will change. So expecting him just to, out of the blue, start initiating is not realistic. No one changes that quickly. So, like, walk him through it. Say, okay. And if he says, you know, maybe he'll tell you that, you know, he got rejected in the past, or he doesn't really know what you want, or he's afraid he doesn't know how to kiss you. Right. I mean, I don't know what the issue is. So you can practice with them. You can say, so, man is pretend you're my boyfriend.

All right?

Which I know you do anyway when you're fantasizing.

Oh, yeah, totes.

So I could say, like, you know, I've been thinking about you kissing me all day.

Yeah.

Cool. Yeah. So then don't we do that already? Yeah, yeah, but, like, I've been. I've been, like, really thinking about it. I think it'd be really hot if you, like, made out with me right now.

Okay.

Okay. Then I start kissing.

Yeah, but you're Initiating.

See, I'm initiating it.

See, the thing is, you gotta say. Say, hey, I think it'd be hot. I feel like sometimes I come home and then she's already said that.

But I'm talking about in the moment. I've been thinking, hopefully if I said to you.

But the way that you.

Okay.

Said it, it's kind of like if.

I said to you, I've been thinking about you kissing me all day, hopefully you would lean over and kiss me.

Yeah.

But you're too far across the table right now. And if he doesn't, then you could start kissing him. So you could also do a role play. Like, show him how you'd like his. Maybe you have an idea in your head, sweetie. Like, maybe you know Alexander, Like, I actually want to come home and have him, like, rip my clothes off and throw me against the wall. Maybe you show it to him. Be like, this would be really hot. Because I know that you're tired of feeling like the leader in this, and you're feeling like you're not in control. So don't get angry, don't get mad. Continue to show him love and affection, but work with him on this. This could be like a fun game. And he'll be like, oh, I get it. This is what you want. Because a lot of times we just don't know. We just don't know. That's it.

Shout out to Ireland, yo.

Love Ireland.

Love it.

Take this on the road, guys.

I partied all day.

I'm gonna ride that bike to Ireland with the lube.

Yeah, do it.

I might run out of lube, but not if I have those things on the back. You keep refilling it. Let's work on this.

All right.

Okay, we have time for.

Hello, Emily. Hello, Emily. Hello. I need help with this situation. I recently fell deeply in love. The sex is awesome. Our personalities mesh well, and we both have similar goals. But we recently had a rubber. When I asked her if she would like to go to a Go Go bar with me. I live in Virginia, so the laws forbid totally naked dancers. It's women in skimpy bathing suits doing. Dancing sexy on the stage.

So it's a guy asking a girl that he's into to go to? Yes.

They were driving past in Virginia, which is a strip club. They don't have him there, though. He said there's a spur of the moment thing. We're just driving by. But she got offended, and she said, if I go to a Go Go bar, it would be cheating. And then we had this Long conversation whether I would be going to go to one of those places again and what I would do there. And I told her it's no big deal. I used to go there with my buddies and have laughs. And then she said, you know, I then suggested we could go together. And I thought that might be sexy because I know that some of my friends attend with their girlfriends or wives. And you know, on the one hand I'm a 33 year old adult. I feel like no one should tell me where I can and can't go. On the other hand, I don't want to hurt her. Am I being hard headed? Is this, is she being insecure? Yeah, a little bit of both. How do I navigate this? Thanks, Jacob. He's 33. So he's driving past the Go Go bar and she, he's like, let's go in. And then she was like, oh my God, that's cheating. That's a horrible place that if you go, it's terrible. So this is a common scenario, just like the porn thing. Women are often confused by this. They don't understand why their partners go to strip clubs. And you know, some men do cheat and go to strip clubs. Some men do go there and they, you know, they break the rules of their commitment with their part, their partners. But when I, I went through this in my early 20s, I was dating a guy and he often would go to a Faro Brothers, Mitchell Brothers in San Francisco. And I found like the ticket in his apartment. Like the, like, we got tickets to go in. I was like, dude, you went to like. And I was so confused because I was like 24, he's like, you're in love. And I was like, why would you go to Australia? I truly am. I, I was like, that doesn't make sense to me. Like I, I didn't get the point that a lot of men just go and, and it's fun and you do it with your friends and it's kind of a pastime, kind of like going to a game or like watching sports, but you're watching girls in bikinis.

Well, if it's a Farrell Brothers, you're having a lot of fun.

Okay, if it's a Farrell Brothers, you're getting a hand job. But this place is not like that. So it sounds like she didn't understand, like have the depth of understanding about men and their needs for entertainment and fulfillment. And so if it's a new relationship, it could possibly be her first time ever understanding, like, maybe she just thought it was for like creepy men. Which a lot of times it is a lot of times just for. It's for everyone, men, women, and couples. But it's a discussion that you have to have if it's important to you. I mean, I don't. I agree. I wouldn't want someone telling me what I can and cannot do. So you can ask her again to be specific. What does it make her feel when you say, I'm going to strip club? Like, what are her fears? Does she think you're gonna cheat? Does she think that she doesn't measure up to it? You know, find out. What do you think? Menace, have you ever heard this come up before Women? You like forbidding their partners from going to strip clubs?

Yes, definitely. Definitely. I know a lot of. I've never been in this situation, but I have friends that have been in the situation where their. Their girlfriend or wife feel the same way that they go there. They're cheating, which I believe is a huge overreaction. But again, like, as a guy going to a strip club, is it really that important when you have a partner? Like, who effing cares? You know? Like, strip clubs are such a waste of money.

Well, he even said he doesn't like giving money, but there was part of the email that he said.

I mean, if. If you really don't care about strip clubs and your partner doesn't want you going there, then just don't go. Who cares? Yeah, I mean, I know he's just upset.

It's the principal.

He doesn't want to be told what.

To do, which I get. But I think that you could. If you really feel like you have to go and you don't want to be lying or about it, then just ask her, like, what. What is this about? Like, what does it make you feel like? Does she feel insecure? Do you need to reassure her and feel more secure?

Sounds like a guy that really wants to go and keep on going.

But he doesn't really. Yeah, I guess so. But he. I think it's more like. I think it wouldn't. He doesn't sound like he even goes that often. It was the principal. And I'm telling you, it has nothing to do with her wanting to restrict your behavior. I doubt she's very controlling in many other ways, if you look at it. It's just that she has some insecurities around. So that's what I gotta say to that now. Yes, dear.

It's o' Farrell Theater and it's the Mitchell Brothers.

Mitchell Brothers o' Farrell Theater in San Francisco.

To Sapphire and then there's. There's a movie about their life. It's crazy.

Oh, it's so good.

You have to watch it. It's called rated X. Watch it.

And if you go to my YouTube.

Channel, Charlie Sheen's in it.

There's a video there from 2007 where I interviewed a bunch of strippers there. Yes, It's a good YouTube video.

Rated as Rated X movie. And go to the sex.

No, it's fast. They killed each other. The brothers. One of them died. Yeah, one's in prison.

It's insane.

They both died. I don't know. Check it out. It's a good story, so. But that's what we're talking about. We're coming. Okay, ready? One more email. This is a good one.

Do it.

It's a good one to go out with a bang.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Hi, cuz. I just love you.

All right.

Hi, Emily. I'm a really sexual person. I love all sex positions, but I always seem to have lots of pain when I do doggy style. Is that normal, or does it depend on the guy's size? I usually have sex with black men. Thanks. Love your podcast, Jessica.

I mean, wouldn't she know what it is like? Okay, if you have a lot of pain, is it because of the thrusting or.

Jessica, here's the thing. Doggy style, great position, but it's also the one that allows for the deepest penetration. So if you happen to be with a man with a larger member, this thrust is going to be hitting your cervix. And thrusting fully could really give you some pain. And so especially if a guy's well endowed. So there are modifications. You could try lying on the bed. Like, lying flatter on the bed. And put some pillows so you're raised just, like slightly under your stomach so your butt a little in the air, but not like on all fours. And then that way he can't go as deep. You could also try to. And this way you can also control how deep he goes because you're lying. Flatter. But try other sex positions. I mean, woman on top, you can control the depth, the motion. You can control the speed. Missionary is great. Spooning's great. Like, if you're. If you're in pain, it makes sense. You can also, with larger penises, you know, use more lube and go slower. But if he's just thrusting away at you in doggy style, that's gonna hurt. Hurt?

Yeah.

Larger penises, he's going to pound town. And that's hurting you. So that's what I gotta say.

Sweet. This was good fun hanging out with you.

So fun hanging out with you too. Everyone, thanks for listening to the show and find Menace at Menace on Instagram.

And his podcast and Twitter and at Menace Me N A C E. And a lot of people from the Woody show listen to the Sex Emmy podcast and vice versa.

Cool. I know. I love it too. It's like cross promotion. We're married.

Yeah.

Marry of the two. Yeah. I just love you all and thank you Madison and Lori and Jamie and thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwith emily.com.

Foreign.

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