Two Is Company, Threesome's a Fantasy

Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you. That's right, everyone who signs up wins something. And if you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bi woman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness and now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic. Or. Or their famous whisper collection. You know, the first fully ever silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, parents, or even if your partner is sleeping right next to you, these toys are silent without compromising power. Or their new Pebble Pro. They just one up their best selling pebble with a stronger, smarter and seriously spicy redesign. Ballast has somehow figured out how to engineer a one stop pleasure shop with three interchangeable heads. It sucks. It humps, it licks. It vibrates. I'm speechless. And of course I had to hook all of you up. So my friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to everyone who signs up. You heard that right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com Emily that's B B V I B E S.com Emily hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today. I have special guest co host Lynette Carolla from the Crying out Loud podcast here to talk about threesomes, masturbation, porn, and how to communicate your needs to your partner and oh, so much more. I don't know where this is gonna go, but it's gonna go crazy. Thanks for listening. You know how I'm always talking about how important it is to mix things up in the bedroom. Well, Hustler Hollywood stores should be your main destination to the best toys, erotica, the sexiest lingerie, and most of all, the easiest way to find answers to what you've been looking for. To how to enhance your sex life. I always say it's great. First date night. Take them to a Hustler Hollywood store and figure out, you know, maybe not first date, a date night, second date. Figure out what you both like. Oh, that toy looks hot. Or have you ever watched this kind of porn? It's a great way to figure out what you and your partner want to try, what you like, the spice of your relationship. Or if you just need A special toy for yourself. Also, they have a new website, hustlerhollywoodstores.com and you can use Sex with Emily at checkout. And you get 20% off any of their toys, any of their products. Also, if you go to their store, you also say Sex with Emily at the counter. And. And you get 20% off all your sexy purchases. How fun is that? So go to hustlerhalluhollywood.com and have a good time there. Cause I know you will. Spice it for sex life.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, sign up for our mailing list, check out our blogs, our posts. We update the website every single day with things that will change your sex life and your relationships. So go check it out. It'll make you really happy. Also on Facebook and Instagram. And what's the other one? Twitter. I'm Sex with Emily across the board. So check me out there, too. It means a lot, and I appreciate you all for listening. And I'm so excited that Lynette's here. Yay, Lynette. Hi, Lynette.

Oh, my gosh.

Hi. Hi.

Hi, Emily. I'm sorry. My voice is like this.

It's always sexy like that.

No.

Are you sick? Sick?

I'm not sick sick. They're. The cold was going around. It's. I'm not contagious. But the kids were good. Yeah, whatever.

The kids. Are they back at school?

They're back at school. Every.

Twin boys. Boy and a girl. Boy. I always say that, too, because I always. People do that all the time. Or they're like, all the time. Yeah. Right. Boy and God do that. So they're back. Because I just feel like I just saw you and they were, like, out of school.

I know. I know because they're only. They're out of school quick and then they're back to school, which is good. That's a good thing.

So now you are doing. For crying out loud. How often are you guys doing shows?

We do two shows a week. Every Tuesday and Friday is a new episode with my co host, Stephanie Wilder Taylor. And we talk about all kinds of stuff. I'm also the new. I guess you can call ambassador for Mangria, which is this like taking on a life of its own?

Okay, so tell me, tell everyone what Mangria is if they haven't had the pleasure to taste it yet.

In a nut. It's a. Thank you. And I brought you some. Oh yeah. It's a. In a nutshell, it's a specialty cocktail and it's.

21% alcohol. It's in a wine. It's the highest you can get before you get to spirits and that.

It's a net worth. So. Brilliant. So how many. How many does most wine have alcohol?

Most of the time it's like 12, 11.

Oh my God. You get wasted. Because I had one glass. It was so. Or two probably here in Vegas. It's so strong. Cause I have a hard time drinking like more than one glass of wine. Cause I get buzzes.

Me too.

It was amazing.

It's a better buzz than wine. Cause I'm not a big wine drinker. I love beer. I'm not a big red. I used all the moms that drink wine and stuff. But Mangria, it's just you pour it over the rocks, it's ready to pour and it just melts all your problem. After you take a drink like everything. And we have it in red. We have a white and a brose.

Yes. And so we've been doing these Mangria bar crawls where we hit four bars and we go to a city. San Diego. We' San Francisco.

Oh, when?

I'll let you know.

Okay. Because we had a good time. We went to Vegas.

Oh yeah.

That was a blast. And then I was supposed to go with you to San Diego, but it was just so hard to get there for a night. But I would. And I know San Francisco, all the PC.

Yeah, I know. I gotta.

I would rally my troops. And where can people buy it?

You go to corolladrinks.com.

Okay. I love it. So that's your job, your second job, fifth job, probably with the kids. Right. The whole thing, being a wife.

Being a wife.

There's one more thing I have to mention before I forget because I often forget this, that I'm going to be in New York. So don't go to San Francisco. Then September18 to the 20th for the sexual Health Expo, which has really taken off this year. We started in January in la. We did one in Phoenix this summer and now it is in New York. It is a three day expo where you're going to have speakers. Like the top sex educators and relationship educators. Educators in the world are going to be there speaking for two days. Tickets are super reasonable, but I'm also giving away free tickets if you email me. Feedbackexwithlme.com and there's going to be breakout sessions. Not breakout. What? I hate breakout sessions. What are they called? Like, sessions where you can go talk to you breakouts, like when they make you talk to your partner. I hate that shit. I'm like, I got to go to the bathroom. No, but like speaking greets. No, yeah, there will be meet and greets, but they're going to have sessions like hour long. How to give a blowjob, how to enhance intimacy. But there's also going to be on display really cool sex products and the latest and greatest toys. So if you live in New York or the New York era, please come see me and say, hi, I'm giving the keynote, I think on Saturday. It's all@sexualhealthexpo.com and also the other thing is. Yeah, and we're giving away tickets. Feedbackexwithelmy.com, oh, and if you don't live in New York and you heard this, you're like, oh, I guess my friend would love to go tell your friends. Tell them about it. It's gonna be a good time.

I might be there.

Really?

Maybe. Possibly. Yeah. We're kicking off Monday Night Football. That Monday after that weekend.

Okay. I'm gonna be there Monday.

Yeah. So I might be there. I don't know. I have to get these Mangria girls wound up.

And do you have to find, like hot Mangria girls?

Yes, that's.

Do you do the casting?

I found an agency that sends me pictures and, you know, pick the girls you like and blah, blah, blah. Right.

You had some sexy Mangria girls there in Vegas. I felt so not sexy. I'm like, I'm not really here to help. I'm just gonna drink in a little cabana with you. Yeah, but that was, that was fine. That was all fun. Okay. And everyone can find you@lynettecarolla.com on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. Yeah, all that stuff. Okay. So what's going on with you? What's the latest?

So, I don't know. I was gonna ask you.

My head is spinning. I have so many questions. I know. I was like, go. Yeah, ask.

So I was asking you before the show about the porn sites and. Not that I go there very often.

Right, right. Not very often. Not in the last two hours.

But they're scary. Like, you know, the stay away. You click on something. Next thing you know, you click and you click, and the next thing you know, there's a girl talking and then there's the stay away alert message that comes up. And you don't know what I'm talking about.

Well, I do, but I think you get software that blocks it. Right. Isn't there blocking, what's it called, the software that you put on your computer that blocks all pop ups?

Like. Yeah, it's a. Ad blocking. If you. Do you have a Mac or.

Yeah, Mac. Okay.

Yeah, just.

We're gonna show you.

Yeah, I'll show you. Because I have ad block, too. Because I have the same problem.

Yeah.

Because I don't want the feds showing up at my door, you know?

Right. How would Adam feel?

Like child pornography and stuff like that, you know, it's like.

Right.

It's just because it says, you know.

Yeah.

Father dominates daughter on it.

I didn't watch that, I swear. So there's something called ad blocking on the Mac, which we'll show you, and it will block all pop ups.

Okay.

So you don't have to worry about that.

Okay.

And they're not tracking you if you're not putting in your. They don't.

So if you, like, search like, rape or something like that.

No, most women search rape. That's the most popular thing we search.

I'm gonna tell you something that will change your life, and it will change all listeners who secretly are watching porn.

And don't their partners know about it?

Hi. Hi, guys. It's called the incognito window. So if you're using, like, Google Chrome, you open up, you can, like, at the very top, you can select, like, incognito window. And it's not like. I mean, obviously, if you're doing some terrible stuff and the government gets into your computer, they're gonna be able to find everything. It's not that hidden, but it doesn't save your search history. So if you're looking up, like, for instance, I accidentally found. I fell down the rabbit hole of pegging, researching for Emily's workshop, and all this, like, porn stuff is popping Up. And I was like, oh, I can't have this on my browser. They're like, madison, what the.

I know, I got it.

Everyone has these fears. That's why they set up all these things, right?

It takes my computer and opens it up and all the. You know, it's like fucking Jasmine sitting there with her boobs out. Or dive like a. Like a soldier on top of a.

Wait, do you have an iPad too, maybe?

Yeah, I have an iPad, but they are on top there with that too. Oh, yeah, but iPads are.

That's true.

Kids love iPads.

They do. Okay, so we're gonna set you all up. But what kind of porn do you like? Rape porn? Do you go to the tube channels?

Yeah, I guess. Like the. I don't know. I just Google porn. Free porn or you porn?

Yeah, you porn. Isn't that the one that one goes to?

And then there's like a bunch on the top that says, like, you know, I don't know, two. I don't know, like two.

I know I don't.

They give you categories at the top. And then you're like, oh, that looks interesting. And you're like, this is trending, so we'll go for that.

Right?

Exactly.

Like, do you like girl and girls? That's what I like.

I like all of it. Sometimes I get stuck there for hours and I'm not. I'm done, you know? But then I'm still, like, watching it. Like, wow, there's this, there's that. Oh, my God, what are they doing? This poor girl.

There's all kinds of shit except, does her mother know? But does it ever give you ideas, though? Like things to bring home or. You're like, that turned me on.

Well, yeah, the girl on girl thing. I've always thought about that threesome thing, that Adam would ever go for it because he sat next to Dr. Drew for 12 years.

Oh, God. Right. On Loveline.

And he's like.

Drew's like, threesomes are bad. Anal sex is bad. And I'm so different than Drew on Loveline.

I know.

I'm like, they can only be bad if you don't negotiate at first with your partner.

So what about a.

What about what?

It doesn't have a long term relationship with 3. 7.

I mean, typically, only if both. If you're both on board and things are really solid in your relationship, it's not a way to solve it. It's not a way for any couple to be like, oh, this might reignite our spark. If we bring in a third person, because typically it doesn't do that. Just like, having a kid won't save your marriage. But if you. Like, we've been together, we've been banging each other for this many years, and let's try it. I think it'd be hot to see you with a woman. You've been wanting to be with a woman. We have these ground rules. She can't sleep over. You can't kiss her, you can't sleep with her, Whatever. And couples talk about it in a really, like, intellectual way, you know, like, they're like, have the rules, then you can do it. But if you're not. If you're not in a healthy place in the relationship, I don't.

So you've told that to Drew and Drew. What? Have you said that in front of Drew?

Yeah, I've given that advice on.

What are you saying?

I mean, I don't know. He's on. Right. He sits there with his phone, you know, on Instagram. But no, you know, he doesn't. He does not argue with me.

Easy for him with his hot wife to be home too.

Right?

So. But okay, so, all right, so that's.

The thing with these things. But you're saying, like, some of your friends were into threesomes too?

Well, I have a friend that was dating this young guy. He was. And she was having a great time, but they. It was like a long distance thing or whatever. And like the fifth time they got together or something, he wanted to have a threesome. And she was like, yeah, dude, maybe down the line, but I don't think we're there yet.

Right.

You know, she's right. And he was like, pushing it and pushing and pushing it, and she was like, I'm done.

Right? You never. Because other rules I tell couples, like, you never want to push it. You. You want to have it become something that she's interested in as well, which you can do. I mean, that can happen. But the second you're like, let's have a threesome, the first thing she thinks is, I'm not enough for you.

Right.

You think I'm fat and ugly. You don't like me. You're not attracting me. You want to see with my best friend, you know, whatever it is, all these things go through our head. So it's like, it's all in the approach. It's all in the ask. And so you could start off by saying, like, how have you ever wanted to be with another woman? Has it ever interested you? I think it'd be, well, they did.

I Think they talked about it.

Then he thought he had the green.

And then he thought, yeah. And then so they got together again. And then he's like, I got something exciting for you this time. And then, you know, meet for drinks and how about you meet my friend? And she was like, no, I'm not interested. Like maybe down the line.

Yeah, the first few months of dating. No, that's when the sex is really frickin still hot. Still. And you're like into it and you're. No, that can be weird. But like I feel like the three that can be. Obviously because she wasn't into it, but if she wasn't maybe as serious about him or she was looking to get experiment, that might be good.

I think that she was. No, I don't know if she was serious serious because she dates a lot, but. But she did like, like see him again, do I not see him again? Kind of thing. And I was like, I don't know. Do any disrespect.

Yeah, no, I mean, definitely. She should trust her gut on that one. But I feel like the best. I mean, this is such a rare scenario, but like the best threesome I ever had was when it was super casual. I was dating a guy for a while, casually. Like we were seeing other people, which does not happen this often. That we were still really good friends and really open. And he had a friend who'd never been in a threesome and she wanted to do something. He's like, would you. Do you want to meet for drinks, the three of us? And I was like, sure. So he told me, like this could happen or not. No press. And we went, we had drinks and we were drinking a lot and whatever. And I'm like, yeah, why not? And it was actually like the best threesome I ever had because none of us were really attached.

Right.

I think he still slept with her, but it was weird. Like I had no jealousy.

No jealousy?

Yeah. And I just. And that was really great because we were both. We were actually making fun of him by then. We were all slept in the bed in the morning. We were laughing at him. Cause was he.

Wow, you guys slept together overnight?

Yeah. Yeah, it was weird. I mean, this is, this is like the dream threesome scenario because I really didn't care and didn't have jealousy because we were seeing other people. And I think when you're all unattached, right? But when you're in a relationship, it can just be tough. But again, couples, they've been a while, you know, whatever the scenario is, you've been together well and you want to open up, but otherwise it's just dangerous. You gotta both be on board.

Girls. I think guys are, first of all, guys are so stupid sometimes. But it's like. I think it's switched. It made a switch in her where she was just like, I'm done. I'm done. Yeah, it was a big turn off. And then. And it wasn't because of the threesome, because they were open about it.

Right.

It was because he kept pushing it and pushing it.

That is so unattractive.

God's an idiot.

That would turn me off. If he said it once and she was like, no. And he let it go, that would not be a deal breaker. But it's like the guy's like, when we get a blowjob, when are you gonna blowjob? When you have sex. Like, anytime a guy just keeps, like, nagging you about sexual, right? That's gonna make you have. You're gonna get much less sex because of that. So.

Yeah, yeah. We had this whole talk about it. I think she also spoiled him because she gave him a lot of attention and he's young and she's a little bit older and she was giving him blow jobs that he was gonna get into and, you know, and he's never.

Had such a great blow job.

Right, exactly. So I think that he was just like, ah, just drunk with, you know, lust and good.

She can do better than that. She's begging her. You know what he. You don't want to force anyone into any sex act.

Right.

Ever.

I love when you say, don't push the head down.

The head push is the worst.

Stupid. Like, push your.

Like, I know your penis is there and I know you're erect. Like, don't. Can I make that decision on my own?

Right, exactly.

It's like you guys are into that kind of thing. Like the whole whatever, aggressive sex. But otherwise I say no.

Yeah.

Any other. What? So sex toys. How's that going for you to eat?

I just went and bought. I went and bought one. I know. I was gonna.

Why would you buy. I don't know. None of my friends are allowed to buy toys.

I didn't know I was gonna. It was like today so quickly.

I know. I was like, can you be here? What'd you buy?

I just bought this other, like, vibrator that has.

You can say any brand. I don't care.

I don't know the name.

Insertion.

It had. Well, it had an inside. It goes inside and then it also.

Like a rabbit kind of Thing.

Yeah, it's clitoral. And it. And I am trying to figure out the G spot, right. We talk and I know where it is. And da, da, da, da. And I, I think, yeah, we did talk about it. And I've tried to just have an.

Orgasm, clitoral orgasm first.

But see, you say that have the clitoral. That's easy for me. That's the problem. But so I've tried to see if I could have a G spot orgasm alone without any.

But that's really hard for most women.

It is.

No, this is what I'm saying is that most women need the clitoral orgasm first because it swells your G spot and you become aroused and all the blood rushes and it becomes engorged to that area. So most women have a clitoral orgasm and then the G spot. So I would do your regular masturbation and then use lots of lube. Lay down on your bed, put your knees back and just try to find it with a toy. Or sometimes the fingers are the best way to find it. And then you just keep pressing on it. But it might take you. It took my friend a month. Every single day for some days. I know I've said that. But it's so true. But you gotta have the one for. It's not gonna. For some women they can. But for me, I know I need to. And doing the Kegel exercises has made my G spot. I'm having crazy G spot orgasms that I've not had before. Like, I have them sometimes. I'm happy with my clitoral ones because I can have like 10. But the G spot thing, because that muscle's just like bulging. It's all connected. You should try this.

Well, I do. I try. And when I put the. Sorry about my voice. Sorry. With the vibrator, I squeeze it. You know, I do the Kegel thing.

Oh, good.

While you know. And it does bring you to orgasm quickly. I didn't realize.

It does. Absolutely. Clenching those muscles. But then when you exercise them, it's like even stronger the muscles you can clench more. And that might help you with the G spot thing too.

Yeah.

Okay. And use lube. And use water based lube. Yes, it just helps.

Okay.

And then if you can't, like after you have your clear one, you could take the vibrator out and like put like two lubed fingers inside the comp hiter and try that. But don't give up on the G spot.

Okay, I'm not. And you have lube.

I have your lube Yeah, I gave you my lube. Dissect my Emily Tony lube, which I can't sell on the market, but I do have it. But I recommend. I don't know. I love sliquid. I love wet. There's this new hybrid. I don't even know if it's new, but I just heard about it. It's a lube by wet. That's a hybrid silicone water based lube. I really like that one.

You like silicone base?

It's because it's slippery. Yeah, but you're not supposed to use it with silicone toys. Although I've heard that doesn't really matter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So. But I just think you can never have too much lube, even during sex when people get wet. Like, you just add a little lube. You heard me say that. Lube.

Yeah.

Yeah. You do have it by the nightstand. Do you have my lube, by the way?

I do, I do. And then Adam's like, what are you doing? What? That I hide my toys?

Really? What about the down under comfort? He won't try. I think he. Because he talked about his balls, right? Someone told me they're like, you should give one to Adam, because I haven't listened to a show like, you know, in a while. And they're like, he has balls. He talks about it. He talks about talcking up, rubbing on his balls one day. Give you some good fort before a blowjob.

No, he's used it. He uses it. He's just not consistent with anything.

No one is consistent. I know it's hard to be consistent.

Dude is not especially a dude. Yeah.

They're like, really? I gotta wash my face. I was telling this guy the other day, I'm like, I can get you face product. He's like, why do I have to wash my face? You think of all the stuff that women do, like all the goddamn waxing and washing and moisturizers that I wash my. I use the bar soap in the shower.

Yeah, I know. My husband too. He puts the bar soap on his head. He wants to know why he's got like pubic type hair. I mean, it's ridiculous.

It's hilarious. He's married to you and you're like, beauty. You've ever. I always like. She'll ask me like a second, like, what's the best whatever toy or whatever sex thing was. I'm like, okay, I will give you sex tips if you give me beauty tips.

Your skin. Do you still do that face stuff?

Yeah, I have. I do do that. The Rodana fields?

Yeah. You sell it, right?

I sell it. Yeah. I still do that, but, you know, it's just. You know what it is. The key is self tanner. If you put a little bit mixed with or mixed with your moisturizer. I don't like that one anymore. Oh, I told you this one.

Which one do you like?

I like the sand. That's the one I told you. Now, I like tarte. T, A, R, T, E. They're Brazilian. That's the one I put on.

Is it the Aztec one or.

Yeah, it's. It's pretty. It's got gold. It says Brazilian on it.

Is it tanner or like it's a shelf tanner? So it's a gradual. It.

Yeah, it's gradual, but it's instant.

Can you write that down? Tart tanner. Put it in.

I want some, too.

And it's gradual.

Yeah.

And you mix it with moisturizer?

Well, with the face, I use a little bit after I wash because I like my moisturizer.

Because you are, like, perfectly tan. Okay.

That's what it is. It just gives you a little bit of a glow. You just mix a little bit of.

Self tanning, like every day.

Every other night I would say, oh, and the biggest thing. Retin A. Retin A retinol.

Retinol, right.

What percent I need to get that to ask Drew. 0.5% or something like that. I don't need.05. That is the best for your skin.

Everyone says that. Yeah, it's on my list.

Isn't that, like, really harsh, though, the retinol?

You don't need to look at her.

You only know what, though, you need to.

Like, at our age.

Well, no, I'm saying, like, I've just.

Heard it is harsh. It can peel your skin.

You could put it on your knees. You could put it everywhere. Like. I know, I know.

See, this is what I. Can I just come out. Who would have thought that you probably have perfect knees? I don't like my knees.

Elbows, elbows, everywhere you can put it. You just mix it with moisturizer, and if you get a little dry, then you give it a break, and then you use it again and you don't.

Okay, this is good. This is not about sex, people. I understand, but it's to look good for you.

Yes. That's another thing I was gonna ask you. So my girlfriend and I, who we drove down to San Diego together, we were talking because she's dating this guy, like, the whole rigmar. When you have to. When you're Dating a new guy, the waxing, the tanning, the, you know, the new underwear. The new underwear, everything that you have to do.

It is such a pain in the assault. It's true. And then, like, every weekend, I'm like, oh, I might have to, because right now, today, I would have worn a cute little sundress like Heather McDonald, who was here earlier. It's like, I. My legs aren't tan. I'm not tan. Like, how do you. Who remembers?

There's. Okay, there's another. There's another stuff that you just rub on your legs. It's Sally Hansen. It's the best. It's all what the celebrities use. You get it at the Gross. You get it at Rite Aid. You mix it with the. Again, mix it with the cream and rub it on your skin.

That's not even self tanner.

That just. No, right. It makes it look like your coloring is all smooth.

Okay.

And at first, I have to say it does look a little weird. That's why I do it at night if I know I'm gonna wear a dress the next day because it sticks, it stays on.

Oh, you don't even shower in the morning.

No, don't take a shower. Well, if you don't. Yeah. And the next day, you put on your shorts or your dress, and then it looks more like it because it's lived in on your skin and it looks totally, totally natural.

This is so important.

I'm taking notes on a sonic for you.

So. So the thing is so with. Yeah, it's true. When you're dating someone, you're like, did I shave? Like, was she asking about, like, do I strip? Like, bikini wax? Do I take it all off? Do I not?

Right. Cause, you know, she was dating this. This. This guy who's just got divorced, and, yeah, she's got a wax and stuff like that and that. We were talking about blow jobs, by the way, earlier, right? She was telling me she's gonna kill me. But guys. Guys don't get blowjobs or they're not getting them because, you know, the one with the younger guy, he was all like, you know, enjoying it. And then she's dating this older guy that just got divorced. He's, like, blown away by her giving a blowjob. She's like, what's the big. You know, what's the big deal? Guys love.

They love blow jobs, but women are so. I think there's a lot of women who feel that they're not great at giving them. They don't feel like they know what they're really doing, and maybe they just don't like it, But I feel like it's like practice makes perfect kind of thing. You just do it. Ask your. Ask your partner, like, what is a good blow job? Because you get blowjobs. You've said on the show before you've never, like, in the 20 years you with Adam, you're like, I'll give you a blow. I'm not gonna say no.

No.

So you must be pretty damn good at it. I feel like I'm pretty good.

Yeah.

But what. What would you say is your best tips? I'm sure your girlfriends ask you too, like, now or, like, you're single. Do they ever ask you?

No, they listen to your show.

Okay, good. They do. I love it.

No, I don't hang out with girls that don't give good blowjobs. Emily, by the way. No, she. I think. Well, first of all, I think the key. One of the key is enthusiasm.

Yep.

You have to, even if you're not into it, act like you're into it.

Just make the noises, do whatever.

Yeah. Just like you said for the other way around. If a guy says, I got all night, it's like, the best thing you want to hear. And that's another thing. Like, guys don't. I don't.

They don't go down on you either. They don't go. Not for nearly as long as they should, or they do it for a.

Minute, or they figure out, and this is something that Adam did early on, like, they figure out what you like, and then they do it over and over and over and, like, the same move over. And it's like, just because I liked it that one time doesn't mean I like it all time.

But then you do tell them, like, maybe try this, maybe try that.

Yeah, I can.

But, yeah, when you're dating, you, like, don't want it right away. And the problem is, I think so many guys are confused because their last partner didn't necessarily like oral the way that they. The way the next person does.

Right.

So the best thing I did was I taught an oral sex workshop. This is hilarious. But I taught one hustler. And the guy that I was dating at the time came. I didn't even invite him to know he was coming. It was how to give go down to a man to woman. And we had been having oral sex for a few months. And then the next time he did went down to me, it was like. It was like a dream come true. Because I always say I wish the guys I dated. Listen, so. And he did every like. I'm like, you were taking notes. Like, he did everything like, slow down, don't rush. Like, tease me. Like, make me want it more. Don't go right for the clitoris. It was just like. I was like almost like really turned on. And then also really like my other side of my brain's going, wow, wow, wow. He's doing that. Holy shit. But there's ways to get better, you know, Talk to your partner. And then also really, it's about just like mixing it up. And go slow. Don't you want guys to go slow down there? Eventually. You want them to go faster.

Yes, eventually.

Lick and tease.

Oh my God. The tease is everything, everything. Slow down. They just can't. Even if you tell them, you know, the first time, the second time they're slow, but they go right back to their old.

It's true. You gotta just keep reminding. Remember the part about you going slow, Right.

It change, right? Exactly. But the blow job. Yeah, I.

The pressure with your hand.

With your hand. But my husband doesn't. Doesn't like the hand that much.

Some people don't. This is the thing. But I shouldn't say just women that are different. Some men don't like the hand, some men don't like the balls.

I know my husband is not a big fan of the ball.

He's just like, so you got your whole mouth. And that's hard too because I always tell women like, well, if you can't deep throat because people email me. I'm like, your hand, just apply the same pressure.

Right?

Like the hand. You're out of luck.

Yeah, I know.

Or use a flashlight, right? Yeah. Okay, we're gonna. Let's get into a little bit of which sex in the news here. Yeah, we've got a little bit of sex in the news. I guess I could do this first. 1. 29% of Americans, half of Brits are some degree bisexual.

It's very topical.

Gay, straight or in between. When asked to place themselves on a sexuality scale, almost a third of young Americans and nearly half of all British of their British counterparts consider themselves some degree of bisexual. Reports polling website YouGov, which states that the results indicate an increasingly open minded approach to sexuality. The survey of a thousand American adults used the Kinsey scale developed by kinsey in the 40s and asked a respondents to pilot to plot themselves on a scale of 0 exclusively heterosexual to 6 exclusively homosexual. Last week the results showed that 78% of adult Americans plotted themselves as completely heterosexual while 4% selected completely homosexual, and 16% were somewhere in between, with another 2% unsure. So I don't know, 78%.

So, I mean, honestly. But then it says those numbers change when you talk to younger.

Yeah.

Oh.

So here's the interesting part. 18 to 29 year olds in America. 29% of American young people plotted themselves somewhere between 1 and 5, essentially leaving themselves bisexual. The number was even higher, 49%, in a similar survey of British people between 18 and 24. So. I know.

And is it female? Male.

They don't break it down, unfortunately. But that just sounds like people are more. I think they always have been, which is why Kinsey invented the scale. Like, created a scale that we're all sort of on the spectrum of, like, twos and threes. Maybe people weren't as honest before, but. Or maybe with the onset of porn.

I don't know what I firmly believe. So I've been rewatching all the Sex and the Cities, and there's an episode where Samantha, who's always the really sex forward, one of the groups, she's like, in a few years or the next generation isn't even gonna see straight and gay. Everyone's gonna fall somewhere in between. Gender is just an illusion, and everyone's gonna be somewhere. Everyone's just gonna have sex with people. And I was like, watching it, you know, this is back in the night 90s. And that came out and I was like, oh, my God.

Like, she predicted she was Samantha.

We. It's like the. It's so funny. It's something that we say in my, like, apartment in my friend group all the time. We're always like, oh, like, sexuality is a spectrum. Like, you're on the spectrum. Don't worry about it.

Spectrum.

I do explain to my boyfriends, like, very Catholic, very, like, strict parents, because they were talking about their. My roommate is bisexual. And they're commenting on it. And I was like, well, you know, everyone's a little bit bisexual. And they're like, we're Catholic. No, they're not. I was like, yeah. Like, it's a stack. It's a spectrum, you know, from like super, super hetero to super, like, homosexual. Like, everyone falls somewhere in between. And they're just, like, sitting there staring at me, right?

Dad's like, I don't want my dick sucked.

Yeah, crazy. They're staring at me like, where did you come from? And now they bring it up. Everyone in all. They're like, yep, it's a spectrum.

And I'm saying, you're teaching them I love that.

The thing is, is I think that the. Maybe people have always been that way, but it's been frowned upon. I think now it's more open.

It's more open.

Everyone's allowed to talk about. They're allowed to be like, yeah, like, I have sex with men, but I think women are super hot, so I do that too. Like, most of my friends fall somewhere in the middle, even if they don't talk about it.

How about men, though? I think it's more common for women than men to say they're bisexual.

Definitely.

I didn't know your roommate. I know him, but I didn't know he's bisexual.

Oh, yeah. I mean, he's. He has. He's with a man now, but he definitely qualifies himself as bisexual. So he wouldn't be like. I don't think he would turn down, like, female involvement in his relationship, but, I mean, he's in love with the man.

Yeah. So I totally agree with this, and I think it's very, very current, I think.

Yeah, no, it's true. And it says these figures are not measured. Active bisexuality. There's a lot of people actually acting on it, but yeah. 20% of Americans age 18 to 29 range said they've had a same sex experience. And I do think that is changing.

I do. I do, too. And it brings me back to the threesome thing, because.

Let's go back. People love threesome.

I mean, I wish I would have done. I wish I would have done that when I was. I did, but I was drunk.

Right. If most people are drunk.

Yeah. So I. And. And there's times I was looking. I was researching for our Mangria girls, like, what they're gonna look like. Like pinup models, the 50s look. And I was trying to find that Brigitte Bardot hair, and I was. I saw pictures of. Oh, God, I keep forgetting her name. It's not Sophia Loren. It's not Brigitte Bardot.

Elizabeth Taylor.

No.

Damn.

It'll come to me. The brunette who's sexy. Rebecca. No, from a while ago or from a while ago.

Like, she's.

She's in a movie with Charleston Heston and she's got the knife in her.

I don't know. Okay. It's okay.

Anyways, it's gonna come.

I'll Google it.

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, I saw these pictures of her, and I was looking at her going, and by the way, this was back in the 60s, 70s, Sophia Loren.

Did you already say that?

Yeah, it's close.

Okay.

It's close to that. She's brunette. I was like, she is so beautiful. And I don't know if it's my libido, because my libido has gone through the roof.

Really?

By the way. Yeah.

What do you. Okay.

And we can talk about that. But I was like. I'm like, she's hot. If I was with her, I'd be all over that. Her boobs. Because everything was natural back then.

Exactly. No, it's true.

Fake anything. She was hot. Yeah.

Okay, so why is your libido increased?

Well, I think I'm in my 40s, and I didn't. And. Well, let's see. I think. Well, I'm talking.

I was gonna ask you about that because I feel like.

Yeah. I'm taking the hormonal pellets from the OBGYN every couple months.

Okay.

The one that Dr. Drew told me to go to.

Told me to go to. Okay.

It's a big, big. A big help. I mean, it gave me testosterone. She was like, you have no testosterone. She tested me. And ever since, for. It took a good six months, but.

Really for them to start working. Okay.

Yeah. No, it kicks in, but really kick in.

It's like, so how else does it manifest? Does it make you want sex more and think about sex more? Did you get hair in weird places?

I got, like, a fuzzy, like a peach fuzz thing. Yeah, but just get rid of it. You get rid of it. Other than that. No. I mean, it's the sex drive. It's like. It's. Oh. I have been more like, screw you with my husband before. I've been like, oh, okay, anything you say. But Olga, our nanny, she's like, lynette, I notice you change now. I'm like, oh, okay. I talk to him the way he talks to me. And I have a feeling that has to do with that.

Wow. And how does he respond? Does he notice the difference?

Yeah, he's nicer now.

See how interesting? So it works. It works, like, in a way, like, to be tougher and stronger.

It does. It does.

But do you get moodier?

It's all positive.

Yeah, it's all positive. It evens out my mood. Before, I was tired. Now I have energy, I go to the gym and blah, blah, blah. But the sex, it's like, I've always had a healthy sex life, and now it's, like, gone into overdrive. But however, there's times of the month, and you probably know this.

Yes.

Where it's all. Yes. And then there's times of the month where I'm like, no.

Right. It fluctuates throughout the month. So people should know that too, with your partners. That it does change. Like the mismatched libido. Sometimes it's higher, lower, different times a month. But that's really cool.

Yeah.

Can we talk? Will you remind me? I'm going to talk to you about this. I just think it helps a lot of women too, if you're listening and you're with a partner who. I mean, it could even happen early. People can have it in their 30s, too. They might need. They might need hormones. And the pellet therapy is really interesting. And so that could be a thing if you're with a partner. She's never not in the mood for sex. You know, took a dive after kids or whatever it is. She might want to get her hormones.

All you got to do is go to the ob, GYN or whatever, or your. Even your internist to get your. Your blood checked. That's it.

I'm doing that on Monday or on Friday. I haven't been in so long. I have not been to. Okay, I got to do that, too. That is awesome. I love that. That's inspiring. Okay. Did you have. I don't have to read this. Should we get to some emails? Oh, wait. First, I have a few words here that I need to share with you all. Okay. Oh, we were talking about Kaggle exercises. How important they are. I've always known they're important, which is why I have my app, Kaggle Camp. It reminds you to do your exercises every day. However, I'm going to admit to. Even I've fallen off the Kaggle wagon. I don't always remember to do them, but when I was doing them and now I'm doing me again, I feel more turned on for sex. I'm having stronger orgasms. It's just my vagina. I'm tighter. Like, it feels it. I want it. There is a product on the market that will change your life. It's changed my sexual life. It is called the Intensity by Pour Moi. And it does your exercises for you. It feels. It uses electrostimulation. It looks like a rabbit vibrator. You just stick it inside you for like six minutes and it's really, really relaxing. It's has a. This pulsing. It's like. And you realize it's actually that I might have been doing them wrong. And you just do that. And then afterwards I actually get really turned on. And then it has a little rabbit vibe. And then it's. And you have a vibrate. You Have a vibration. And so you have a orgasm. And it is just the coolest thing. It was invented by doctors. Now they prescribe it to women with like low libido or who feel stretched out or urinary incontinence. A lot of times you get older or you have kids, you sneeze, you laugh, you sneeze, pee in your pants, the whole thing. It's not helpful. And this product takes all the confusion out of Kegels and will improve your sex life. So it's a vibrator and a Kegel exerciser. And if you do it five times a week for like six minutes a day, you will have kegels of steel. PC muscles of steel. Check it out. Go to pourmoi.com that's P-O-U-R-M-O I.com or go to my website, sex withelmi.com and check it out. Also, we have the Down Under Comfort.

I know you're a fan of Vanity Comfort. It's by Emily and Tony.

Love it.

Anywhere you sweat, balls, breasts, it's hot outside, okay. And you use talcum powder. Gets all over the goddamn place. This is a cream. Turns into a powder. Smells delicious. And anywhere you sweat in your body, you will be fresh all day long. You won't have that drip. You won't have chafing at the gym. You can use a dry shampoo. It is a miracle product and it's all vegan and you will love it. Go to emilyandtoni.com oh, we got a tweet from Robbie Smooth. I'm sure he's very smooth. He says Down Under Comfort changed my life. My balls don't stick to my thighs while I'm at work anymore. I love that too.

The dream.

I don't want your balls sticking to your thighs. It probably makes you much less efficient. So check it out. Go to emilyandtony.com get down under comfort. Use code EMILY for 20% off your first order. And I'll get you some more too, Lynette.

Thank you.

Okay, let's talk in some emails. So thank you for emailing me. Feedbackexwithelmy.com I love hearing from you and I love when you tell me where you are. Emailing from where you live and how old you are helps me so much and I've got my co pilot here. Lynette, some more insights to help you out. Dear Emily, I'm a very sexually active 27 year old male. My girlfriend is also sexually active at 28. We love our sex Lives and enjoy each other almost every single day. Sometimes I want more, though. And she says no. It doesn't really provide a reason. Like, I'm tired or I'm sore, just not in the mood or anything. Just a no. Is there something wrong here? Is it normal for me to get upset? I told her that this week I wanted to have a full week of morning sexual activities before I went to work. Me going down on her and morning sex, and she was totally down. I'm a very selfless down. Does that mean down? Like, yes or she was down. We'll see. I'm a very selfless lover and go down on her every single time we engage in sexual activity. She rarely does the same for me. Let's say every three years I go down on her. She'll go down on me one time.

Every three times.

Every three times.

Years would be terrible.

Every three times she'd go down me one time. So what do I do here? I get frustrated with these things. Sex isn't everything. And she's one hell of an incredible woman. But I want to be more intimate with her. We both. We're both the best lovers we've ever had. So why not do it as often as possible? Let me know if you think I might be off base here. Just looking for little insight. Mike, we've been talking about this a lot lately.

I know, sorry. This is just like guy think and it's like ultimate. Like, you just read this and you're like, oh, like, this is how every man's brain works. It's awesome. Why wouldn't we do it every single day? Why wouldn't we do it whenever I want to?

Right, Exactly. Yeah. You know, we're all different. We have the mismatch libidos. And so I don't think it's off base that you want to be, you know, intimate with her. But your reaction might be. I mean, you are having sex a lot, but it's also a compromise. So maybe you gotta talk to a different way. If you keep complaining to her and you're getting upset, she knows you're upset.

That's the rough part, I think, is try not to reject. That I think, leaves damage. Even though they can brush it off or whatever. I think rejection is tough, especially for a guy.

It is tough.

Try not to reject. But, yeah, listen, I'm with him. My husband is meat and potatoes. When I first started going out with him, we had sex a lot. But then he was like, listen, I'm not a big sexual person. I don't like, you know, he just jacks off and whatever or gets a blow job and goes to bed. But now it's kind of like, well, hello, you know, I am so Stephanie, good for you.

Right? Good.

But, yeah, I feel bad for you.

I know. It's true. I mean, I think that, you know, it doesn't sound like he's, like, not getting any, which also heard from that. And you're getting more, you know, every day. Does he say there have a. Yeah.

He said, we enjoy each other every day.

Okay. So every single day you're together, so. And, you know, she just might not be turned on. Like we were saying, it fluctuates different times a month. You know, female arousal is a lot more complicated than men. And do you know what turns her on? Do you know what will get her in the mood? The time that she is in the mood? Is it because you just begged her? Is there ever things that you do that, like, set, send her to the moon? And if you don't know this yet, how long have they been together? I don't know how long you've been together, but it's time to start having these. These conversations with her. Like, baby, go sex toy shopping. Dudes watch porn together. Like, do something. Maybe she doesn't even really know what turns, you know, herself on. So, you know, I think that, like, it's all working together. You got to think about it and are your expectations perhaps a little bit too high? And also, as an oral sex, sex thing goes, I know that can be frustrating. Does she feel that, like, does she, like, giving blowjobs? You could. Instead of saying, like, the begging, like, I wish you go down anymore. You haven't gave me blowjob in six months. You could say, God, it's so hot when you go down on me. It feels really good. I love when you do that and just kind of remind her how much it turns you on. And, like, use positive things. Like, if you say to her, I go down on you all the time, why don't you go down on me? Like, that is such a deterrent. Like, that does not make us. That's not like, oh, baby, take off your pants or whatever. Now that's like, what's for dinner? Or like, I'm leaving, going to the mall.

Why don't you make her a spreadsheet? Oh, wait, that doesn't work out.

I know, but remember the spreadsheet guy.

The whole, like, him keeping track, like, for every three times I go down on her.

I think I heard that.

Yeah, he is like, yeah, the spreadsheet guy. We talk about that, but. Yeah, no, but he's remembering these numbers and he's getting defensive. And I just feel like you guys don't have a healthy communication about your sex if it sounds like you might never have talked about it. Even so, communication is a lubrication. Talk to her. But again, you got to sandwich it. Like, babe, I'm so attracted to you. We have the. We've agreed this is the best sex of our lives. And I think it'd be so fun to once in a while, mix it up and start, you know, have morning sex or. God, I love when you give me blood jobs. Remember that one time and they tell her what you like. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe she thinks that she has to have her mouth on it and she's a bad gag reflex and you can tell her no. Give me a hand job every once in a while. Like, I don't know what tweaks you guys have to make, but it sounds like if you think she's the one, you got to get to the bottom of it and figure out it.

And don't out either.

Feel bad. I didn't get a blue jab today.

That's such a turn.

I know. It's so ugly.

My boyfriend went through this phase where if I don't want to have sex, he would sit next to me in bed and masturbate and then just like, look over me from time, like, next to me.

And I'd be like, your laptop.

I'd literally be like, this is not appropriate behavior. I can't. Like, I can't handle this. And so he's cut it out. But there was like a good, like, month period where he kept doing, and I would just be like, why would you do.

We've got a bathroom.

Oh, my God.

So he got over that really quickly.

But it's because he thought that would make you feel bad.

Yeah. I don't know if it was just kind of like he thought that I would see it happening and be like, ah, fuck it. Like, I'm already here. Yeah, Like, I'll just help out. But, like, now it's gotten a lot better. But the pouting is just the absolute turn off.

And, you know, relationships are about compromise. So that's about her meeting your needs. Learn how to meet her needs.

Yeah.

As well. You know, that's what I was.

Where do you guys stand on morning sex? Do you like it? You hate it?

I think it's easy. Here's the thing. Guy wakes up, you get the bone on your back. And I'm just like, just do it. I usually can't have orgasms in the morning because I gotta be like turned on and aroused and like, I'm not like as easily orgasmic. So I feel like I just sometimes do it because I know it's gonna be quick and I'll make them happy. And I'm not like. I don't know, I'm in a huge rush. No. Yeah, but they're already hard. That's one of the things that you're getting over with.

It's more of like a favor, I'd say. It's not like something that I would ever enjoy, but, like, it's something that maybe if I had more time and like, it wasn't in a rush that I would do just to make him happy.

Right.

Because, like, I'm not enjoying it. I want coffee and to pee in that order. And like, sex does not factor into that at all.

Yeah.

What about you?

I don't. He's big with that. And I'm like, first of all, don't wake me up. I always get to wake.

Yeah. And the hand, like right on the both boobs and the dick in the back and it's like, oh, I'm so tired and I'm just not a morning person and I'm not in the mood. But I do it anyway.

You just do it. Because then you just do it and be like, do the spooning. Like, just keep sleeping.

Right?

You gotta just keep sleeping. And he's going in and out, going out. And you just kind of move your butt back and you're like, are we done yet? That's just what I do. But I feel like, you know, I haven't been as. As long term as relationships like marriage for a long time or whatever. But I just feel like the guys. I'm just like, oh, okay. Then we did had sex. They check. And I didn't really.

That's true.

I just lied there.

It'd be something where you could at least be like, if I'm in a.

Super rush or at a job, I had to be somewhere on time at a certain point. Which, thank God. That's right. My own business. So I don't. But you know. Yeah, that's what it is. You know, I think that people want at different times of day. I like afternoon sex.

Yeah.

I do weekend checks.

I like the evening where I'm like a little bit buzzed and I'm angria. Yeah.

I'm so excited that you brought some angria. Have you tried it, Madison.

Allergic to wine.

Oh, God damn it. Well, everyone else in the office have to drink it. I'm sorry. We have this problem. So good. I know. I'm very excited. I just want to say I really thought it was Friday when we got here. I know it feels like Friday because it was so intense. Yeah. I have to say, I taught a workshop. I taught this anal sex workshop and at Hustler Hollywood, which I would have.

Been to all your workshops if I didn't have kids.

I know.

I guess they sound like so much fun.

I thought you're, like, bam.

Yeah, I know. We have, like, a little, like, kid area in the back. It's, like, out of. Out of sound range.

That would be pretty funny, actually. Would be smart. But I have to say that it was really fun. I am doing another one this month. It's gonna be like a sex edit. I'm not sure the date yet, but.

We haven't picked a date yet.

Yeah, but it's gonna be like, everything you wish you knew about sex edit. But first of all, you were so nice bringing Mangarita. That one of them.

Yeah, I had a blast. I love that.

That was so fun. And it's like. The thing is, like, it's new to me, so I hope I'll be teaching, you know, in other places as well. But I. It's just a lot of work. Like, it was an anal sex workshop, which, you know, I like. Anal. Sexy subject. It's a touchy, right? It's a touchy subject, and it's so intense, and. And so I really wanted to be specific about it. People are so confused by it, and I just worked really hard on it because it's like I can sit in a podcast without prep for two hours and talk on the mic, but that. So it just took a lot. Yeah, but it was great.

You're. Well, you're great at it. You're very good.

It's nothing. No, the thing is that it is. It was. Thank you.

Anal sex. Yeah.

How do you feel about anal sex?

I did it before I met my husband, a long time ago. God, don't anybody tweet my husband anything. Please.

Please don't.

Zip it. Lock it. Put in your.

He doesn't want to know.

Yeah, I did. Yeah. But when we were dating, I did with this, the surfer guy that I was dating, which was a lot of fun. But I did it once, and I don't know, I could see. I could see it being nice. I don't. I see sex so differently now. It's so weird. It's so different, so different than my twenties. But I. It was okay, right?

I mean, yeah, I didn't want, I to be honest. Like I feel like also it's become a generation, like younger. Like no one ever in my 20s or high school, they were never like, let's have anal. It didn't even. Wasn't in the menu.

Right? Right.

It wasn't even an option. It didn't even come around. And now with porn and people like delaying, you know, marriage, having more sexual partners, all that stuff, like it's like everyone's sideways anal sex but a lot of people do it wrong. So the workshop focus a lot about on how, like how to do it right. Because so many women have these really bad first time experiences where guy just shoves in, they're drunk, no lube.

So you gotta be turned on.

Like same thing as a G spot. You have to have a clue. Or does it break first? Yeah, turn her on first, go in slow, use lots of lube and then it can be enjoyable for women. I mean a lot of women enjoy it. It's just you got to do it right. And if it does wrong, they like, they're like back door closed forever.

Yeah.

So I was trying to open up back doors single handedly. Okay, do we do another sexism? Is there another one? I'm gonna read that one. That was a sexless marriage. Okay, let's do another one.

Yeah, there's one about how to be. How to not be a tease.

Okay. Dear Emily, my name is Christine. I'm 23. I'm currently living in LA and live listen to your show on the podcast app on my iPhone. I hate it when guys leave me on, play games, aren't straightforward with me, et cetera. I know, shocking, right? So I very much do want to be that person either. I don't want to be that person either. FYI for context, I'm straight single female. Anyway, I'm wondering what's the best way to respond when a guy who I'd love to be friends with but I'm not interested in romantically seems to be interested and wants to hang out. It seems to be a pattern lately with guys in my life. They don't even explicitly asked me on a date, but will suggest meeting up or something similar. I'm all for hanging out as friends, but I don't know if I should tell him straight out that I don't want anything more. I don't want to lead them on either, but also I don't Want to reject someone who didn't even directly say anything. And I honestly just want to be my somehow flirty friend. But I also don't want to play dumb and pretend I didn't notice. Flirting. Should I just not make plans to meet up with guys who want me to date me, even if it's a group thing, but if they're totally fine with being friends, I'm overthinking things. She is going up. It's funny how she's saying this. I totally get what you're saying. I've got it. I love having guys as friends, and I don't want to miss out on a great friendship. Thanks so much. Love your show. You always give the best advice. Thanks. Christine, I think this is a great question, because it's like, that whole fun thing. And, like, what I've realized is, like. Like, this is the thing now. Guys don't ask you on dates. They're just like, hey, you want to hang out? Be my friends. We should go out, like, on a group date. But even if it was asking you a date or hang out, this is what I have to say. Did she say how old she was? But she's 23. A guy is not gonna ask you to hang out unless he wants to bang you. At that age, guys are not looking for girlfriends. Not like a woman would really be nice right now because she'd give me great advice, help me go shopping and give me advice on these women that I do like. No, I'm assuming that if you have this many men asking to be their friends and hang out, they probably do want to date you. Now, here's the thing, Christine. I understand what you're saying also because I had this. I used to say to guys, I have a boyfriend, or I'd say, like, I'm not interested. They'd be like, I just want to be friends. And then you feel like a doofus. But the truth is, they don't just want to be friends. But you could also, if you like this guy but you're not interested, you could go on the group thing and make it be known there. I actually think you're cool and let's be friends.

Yes.

And maybe you would make a great guy friend out of him, and maybe, you know, he'll get a girlfriend one day, because typically, it's easier when they already have girlfriends become friends with them. And maybe he has hot guy friends.

Aha. There you go.

So I wouldn't rule them all out, but if he's someone that you're not even really interested in at all or being friends with or dating. Then there's nothing wrong with just being like, you know what? I'd hang out with you as friends, but to be honest, you could say to them, I'm interested in friends. I'm not. You know, just so you know, I think you're awesome. I'm not interested in any other way.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I'm sure men. Like, when you're dating. Right. What did you do with it?

Well, I mean, just first of all, the flirting thing, I love. I love, but. And also, like, giving guys blue balls or whatever. And it's like, you think that you. You're. You're leading them on. I have to say, I kind of. I liked that. I.

It's kind of fun, the flirting. They watch. There's probably so many guys. I've been like, in your twenties. Didn't you have. Like, I had so much circling.

No more now than I did when I was in 20s. Like, thanks a lot. Like, you know, bartenders or whatever or some. Whatever. Total. I totally flirt. I love it.

Right. You know, I love flirting. Just good for the ego. It just feels good to be desire.

Oh, my God.

Especially when you get older, like, oh, guys, I'm still hot. It's just fun to flirt but not take it to the next level.

Right?

So, yeah, I would say, Christine, you know, if he's hurt, you're being honest and communicative and just saying, yeah, let's totally go. I just want, you know, like, I think you're awesome, but I don't. Like, it's not a date.

Right.

Like, you can just say it playfully and, yeah, move on. You know, I think that's fine.

Group of friends is good.

And that's how we meet people, through friends. Typically, a lot of the people we meet, we date, whether it's like, you know, even Facebook, you know, or in public, like, go out with his friends. They could be super hot.

Emily, we banging now? What's going on?

Good question. I am banging a guy.

I live vicariously.

I know. I've been banging a guy. I've been dating him. I've been dating a few, but I've been dating this guy for a while now. And then it's actually. Our sex has gotten better. Like, he came to the oral sex workshop, and we've been more. We've been closer. It's not. We haven't had, like, the talk of. We're committed because we decided early on that we weren't gonna be. But now it's it feels like it's sort of we're getting closer, right? Like, he may be dinner, but that's nice.

I mean it. Don't you say it on your podcast. It's gotta go somewhere, right?

It's can't eventually. Exactly. So that's what the talk we had, like, most recently. I was like, I'm just. I like this. Friends with them, like, because we're actually. I actually adore him, and we don't want to mess up our friendship. And then I was like, oh, it's not really going anywhere. I get it. Let's just kind of end it. And then we did. And then he kind of came, was like, wait, I really miss you, and I want to be with you. And I think I could take this to a level, but we haven't defined it yet. But I really like him, actually. He's the one that I choose. Of all the men that I want to be with the most. Really? How's that? Yeah. And the sex has gotten better. He's 37, not a bitch.

Oh, okay.

Not so much a bitch.

He just turned 37.

Okay.

Yeah, I know. He's cute. He's so cute. Yeah. And I like him, and we're friends, and I hope he doesn't listen to the show anymore. I think he decided he doesn't.

Do you listen? All right. Do you date other people while you're dating him?

You know, I have. I've done both. I've dated right now I don't really have time. And I think we got to kind of figure out what we're doing, but I definitely have. And then he, like, went on a rampage and listened to, like, eight of my podcasts in a row one day, which he never does. Every guy I date tells me they don't listen. And I found out recently, not just with this guy, but with another guy I was dating, that it is not true. Because this other guy was like, oh, no, I don't listen. I don't listen. Heard something on my podcast, like, a few months ago and got really upset. I'm like, how did you hear that? It's like, we've mutual friends. I'm like, we have zero mutual friends. You listen to my show.

I'm sorry. I don't know how anybody could resist that temptation. Every guy is always like, what is she thinking? What is she thinking? Like, what could possibly be going on? And then there's a bi weekly inside scoop into your life, and they're not gonna listen to it. Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God. Absolutely.

Into my brain and into what I want sexually. Hi. If you like me, listen to this. You know, but sometimes.

What guy. Okay, just take a guy. What guy dates a woman and then doesn't and says, like, I didn't Google you. I don't look at your say that. I don't listen to your podcast.

Yeah, it's a lie. You're right.

Men are hunters. You know, like, they do. They do the work associated with it. They're going to go through all the channels to make sure that they are prepared to catch that prey.

Then he gets upset when he listens.

Oh, don't listen.

Oh, and then he read my tweets recently, and he was like, read a tweet. He's like, just be like.

That's all he said.

I know.

I'm like, madison.

He's like, what? No, but it was. It was a one night. He's like, what happened on July 2? Why was it the best night of your life? I'm like, I don't freaking know what happened in July. He goes, you said it was the best night of your life. I'm like, well, I'm sure we went out. He's like, we didn't.

Oh.

I was like, shit.

It was like that with Adam in the beginning. I would listen to a Loveline all the time, and I would get mad, and then he's like, why are you pouting? What's the matter? I was like, well, because you asked Victoria Silvsted to show you her breasts on the air. On the air. Yeah.

Right?

Yeah. That kind of stuff. But now he'll go, oh, Mom. And still to this day, now it's other stuff, like complaining about me. He'll say, oh, mama, that's just radio talk. That's just radio talk. No, no, no, no. It's not radio talk.

Right. So. So do you listen to a show?

No, no, I do, because I think his show is funny.

Yeah, it is funny. How does he have, like, the number one podcast in itunes? Like, of all the frigging podcasters. It's pretty amazing.

Well, he developed his audience from Loveline. That audience is a loyal audience. And they went to his morning show on the West Coast. Cause he filled for Howard Stern when Howard Stern left and then developed that audience. And then they still.

It doesn't matter. It's still something. Like, it's such a skill, really, Like.

Well, he does a weekly. I mean, he does a daily. He does a date filing.

I know. These people love him. They love him. Yeah, it's great. I mean, I've heard him. He's so talented. Super talented.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, but so are you. And you should listen to for crying out Loud podcast. Do you just complain about him back on there?

Yeah. Does he listen to yours and go like, lynette, what did you say this for?

No, he doesn't. Sometimes he'll get a tweet from somebody and he'll go, oh, don't talk about that. Keep doing that.

Can nobody tweet at him? Okay. Please. Okay, one more question. We got. Hey, Emily, I love your podcast. My girlfriend 32 and I both listen to you. My girlfriend 32. I guess you're both 32, sometimes together, usually separately. And it's really helped us open up our eyes for a variety in our sex life. This is what I love. This is one side note that a lot of couples just if you're in a relationship, listen to it with your partner or tell them what you learned. Because I feel like a lot of people email me. They're like, oh, it really helped us. Because it's not like you don't have the conversation. I'll have it for you. And then you'd be like, oh, what do you think about that? It's like a third party. So. So it's been helpful. So I'm glad to hear that. Thank you for telling me that. Anyway, it's helped us open our eyes and add variety to our sex life. We even bought your book recently and are excited about the possibilities and fun times. Regarding lube, do you have any tips to reduce the messiness? The lube we use comes in a squeeze bottle and pouring out the lube often requires multiple hands, awkward positions and pauses. And lube that gets everywhere. It's not that we mine lube on sheets, but applying it during mid foreplay right before penetration has tenths dampen the mood. In addition, I end up with my hand. I feel bad spreading it all over her. He's like a little OCD here, but I get it. When continuing with fondling all over her body, is there a way to apply or some apparatus bottle that could be used with any type of lube. We use water based like a spray bottle or a roll on. That's a great idea. Like the spray on. Like the roll on bottle. That could have some kind of bacteria in it. It's like a spray.

Spray is a good idea.

Spray on Sunblock.

Sunblock.

Oh, smart. It's a deal breaker. Moving the small annoyance will add just that much to our pleasure. To our playtime. Thanks for your Advice and passion for sex. M Anonymous, age 33.

Lisa, you tried your lube?

No, I don't sell my lube. I love my lube. But it was the whole FDA thing. They don't approve lubes anymore. I don't want to talk about it. I know I gave it to my friends. Here's the thing. Do you have a flip top? Does he even use the flip top? And that's a problem because there are pump bottles. I recommend a pump bottle by the bed. There's a lot of like Uber Lube.

Is one that I remember because it's super easy to get out. I know, but I'm sure they make other ones. They have a lot Pure makes this. The squirty ones too, or like the pump ones too.

I love pure. It's spelled P J U R. If you go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Good Vibes banner, you can look for ones that are pump. Can you go just wet, make a pump one or.

I don't know. I mean, I'll look it up.

Yeah, I would just try to find you. Might cost you more. Or here's another idea. Buy one of those plastic pump bottles at Target where they sell the travel supplies and put your lube in there and then you can pump it by your bed. Because he doesn't mention pump. He mentions like, you never want a screw top one.

Or it's like the squeeze kind where it's like a little like squeeze top and you have to turn it upside down to like squeeze the lube out, you know? And yeah, that does get sticky. And I personally. You're saying ocd. I personally feel the same way as him.

Where like, I'm kidding. You're not ocd.

But like, if, if like I have lube on me or like my boyfriend has lube on his hands, I'm like, please, like, don't put your hands on my face. Don't get your hands in my hair. You are covered in lube.

You are exactly. No, I totally agree. I would say the pump bottle. What else look for? He likes water, but he likes water based lubricants. So yeah, use for pump. I do like Uber Loo, but it's silicone. Actual application. Use it right before penetration. You can squeeze a handful like, you know, on your hands and massage in your partner's vagina. You know, you should do that. You can stick it up inside of her, rubbing your clitoris and then she already, you know, has it on. And then during sex, use the pump to pump it On.

Yeah, we pump it directly. Like if you've got the pump.

Yeah, pump it right on.

I use uber lube and just don't even touch it with my hands. Just pump it directly on.

That's what I do too. I do the same thing. And then there's a lube shooter, which I just heard about. There's a lube shooter that's like a gun and you put lubitin and you just shoot it up inside you.

Oh my gosh.

That's miraculous.

I know. They have them like at all these sex toy stores. I was talking about my anal sex. I was gonna mention it during my anal sex workshop, but I didn't get to it. But you could just lube shoot yourselves up with some lube.

Wow. Looks amazing.

I know. Who would have thought a lube shooter would you find?

So Liquid Silk has a. Liquid Silk has one.

I love Liquid silk. That's a great brand. Water based.

Yeah, Liquid silk and super silk, which I believe super silk is silicone. We have Wicked aqua.

Wicked is awesome.

I actually, my boyfriend has the coffee kind. And sometimes if he masturbates before I get home, and I get home, I'm like, what smells like cookies? And it's cookies or coffee. It's like a coffee smell, but it actually ends up smelling kind of like biscotti.

Does it make you want to give him a blowjob? Cuz you're like, your dick smells like cookies.

No, it makes me really confused cuz I'll be like laying in bed next to him. I'm like, why do you smell like cookies? Then I'm like, are you like wearing woman's body spray? Like you smell like a Victoria's Secret ad. And he's like, like, I masturbated the flavored lube today.

Oh, you could get non flavored too. But that's a good. Liquid silk is a great option. So go to good vibes. Use code. Emily, that's enough. Do that. We're gonna help your lube problems. What?

The Womanizer I saw? Yeah. Well, tell me about that.

Okay, so the Womanizer. Did you see that? We talked about it, reviewed it.

Yeah. Yes. Did you talk about it?

Maybe I did, but a lot of you were talking about it now.

No, you talked about something else that led me to the Womanizer. To the Womanizer.

Okay, so the Womanizer is this new toy and it's pretty amazing. I have to say it, like barely. It just. It touches your clitoris. So it kind of like it has this round. How do you explain It. Silicone tip on the top.

Yeah.

And it has this. It really, like, it's. It has, like a suction. Like, it doesn't. It's, like, barely touches your clitoris, but it's just in that way that you kind of like it. And you can also add more pressure and suction to it.

It.

If you want, but it's, like, barely touching the tip, but it feels amazing. I don't even know how. We wrote a blog post on Hollywood's website. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah, you wrote up. That's what it was.

I'm trying to look for. What does the post say, Madison, because you posted Hustler Hollywood. I'm trying to think about how did I explain that? Right. It's like, it's. Yeah, it's the most unique toy because it's. It's like indirect clitoral stimulation. That's the word I'm looking for. Okay. Because so many women like, like, guy. Their clitorises are sensitive. They don't want as much pressure on it. And I had, like, an orgasm, and I was like, whoa. I didn't even see it coming. Whoa. Whoa. Where'd that come from? It's pretty amazing. And I wrote a really good view that is on the Hustler Hollywood website. And then the owner of it emailed me. The CEO sent me a letter, like, a real letter that he wrote. Like, he lives, like, in the UK or Sweden, I think, and he's like, I just want to thank you so much for you. And he sent me, like, a Swarovski crystal one. Like, it was the first of its kind, which I was very honest.

Bedazzled and fancy.

Bedazzled. But what? Yeah, read a few points from that post.

Okay.

Yeah. So one of the. Or the thing about the womanizer is it isolates your clitoris and kind of, like, simulates the feeling of, like, when a guy is, like, going down on you and he sucks your clitoris. Clearly, he is doing it very strongly because it's his whole mouth, you know? But it does feel very pleasurable. And the womanizer, like, simulates that. So you. It's a suction cup directly around your clitoris, and it just puts, like, the most light suction pressure on it, and.

Kind of like, you control it.

You control it. Yeah. Here's a picture of it. So right here I pulled it. So that is the button that gets going. And then if you want a little more, you press this rhinestone. I was like, actually, Madison, that's if Snooki had a Vibrator. This would look like. It's like leopard and pink and diamonds or whatever, crystals. But you click on this, and then it goes a little more intense. Do you want me to get you one?

Yeah, yeah, no, I'll get it.

So, yeah, it's like suction, and it's really, really cool. Do they sell it everywhere or just hot?

Yeah, they now sell it at Good Vibes, but easiest place to date is Hustler Hollywood. Say sex with Emily sent you for 20% off.

Exactly. And this. Yeah, I'm like. I'm like. And this says. Oh, wait, I wrote this. Okay. Well, I guess usually I crank it up to the maximum speed to see what's working, but I only made it to a level two out of five, and it still knocked my socks off.

Yeah, that intrigued me.

Yeah. And do what's funny, a lot of sex educators. My friend from Australia was in town, my friend Dr. Nikki, and she was in town, and we were in dinner. She goes, have you tried the womanizer yet? Like, and then last night, that woman. Oh, yeah, McKenna, Kenna. She also. She was like, what do you think? So it is kind of all the talk of the town now, so check that out. Get it, get it and check it out.

Yeah.

Okay. Lynette, you rock. We gotta cut out.

Oh, this was so, so much.

Thank you for making time, because I know you're super busy wrangling the Mangria girls and your podcast, for crying out loud. And I love that you're here. Thank you, Emily, come back and do this again. Oh, I love you too.

You gotta come on our show again.

I know. I would love to come on your show again. That would be really fun. And they can find you. Tell us all your places and you can go.

The show's. For crying out loud.

You can go to corolla drinks.com for the Mangria. We're going to have lemonades and all that. Getting launched. Will be launched. Adam's hardest.

There's a lemonade. Yeah.

Coming soon. I don't know if I should have said that, but whatever, it's fine. Yeah, we're going to. It's going to. It's coming soon.

You guys are everywhere. Yeah, we are.

So go to Corolla Drinks, but follow me on Instagram, LynetteCarolla, Twitter, everything.

Check out how she is. It's gonna make you want to buy something.

Aw, thank you.

Now we gotta go. Beauty tips, too. Thank you so much, Madison. Oh, thank you. You're awesome. And, yeah, you can follow me again. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Sex with Emily. And also come to New York if you're in the New York area or if you're listening right now and you're like, my cousin would love this. My friend would love this. Send him down if you want tickets. Feedback at sex with emily.com so thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

Okay, everyone, thank you for listening to the show. And as you know, my life purpose is to make you have help. You have the sex life and the relationship you want. And so I know a lot of you want to last longer in bed. A lot of guys, you just, you know, have you ever guy Lynette Pre, you know, in your 20s, two minute minute man.

Oh, well, yeah. They come quick.

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