Unfiltered & Frisky with Brandi Glanville

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. That feels so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I have guest Brandi Glanville, best known from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Her podcast, Brandi Glanville unfiltered her best selling books and her outspoken opinions on everything to do with sex, dating, drinking, tweeting. Nothing is off limits on the show. And we're gonna get into some sex. Okay? Let's just talk about that. Right?

Let's talk about that.

It's Gonna be awesome. I'm so glad you're here. Thanks, everyone, for listening. But first, a word about your balls. Okay, it's getting hot out. It's getting hotter. Summer's coming, especially here in Los Angeles. And I need to talk to you about this because a lot of guys. Brandon, feel free to join me here. Some men don't take care of themselves.

No, they don't.

And you go down there, Manscaping is important, right? And you're like, I'm gonna go down on you. And they're psyched. Like, blowjobs are their favorite thing in the universe. Maybe next to the Super Bowl. And sometimes men just don't take. They use talcum powder. Maybe they think it's all messy.

There's, like, some saltiness going on.

Exactly.

I'm gonna gag.

Well, I made a product called Down Under Comfort. It's from Emily and to. And it is a cream to a powder formula. So you put it on, it doesn't get messy. And anywhere you sweat. It's for women, too. Breasts. Lower breasts. Did I give you one when I was on your show? I have some for you.

I think so.

Lower back, breasts, anywhere you sweat. It's a light, natural formula. And, you know, like, guys think like, I showered this morning. I'm totally fine. Guess what? You're not. She's gonna go down, and she's gonna come right back up. So Men's Health voted this the number one product you didn't know you needed. So down under comfort, emilyandtoni.com, oh, and check this out. Until May 6, you get a free Down Under Comfort with any menage candle purchase using the code comfort. That's emilyandtoni.com.

Is that comfort? C U M F O R T. Yep.

And I have a bottle.

Is it really?

Yeah, Yeah, I love that. Right? Like, do you see Down Under Comfort?

Yeah, Not C O M. I'm saying comfort.

Oh, no, but that would be better. But then dirty.

Smarter than I am.

No, no, no. Now you're smarter than you are for me. Because. For sure. But the problem with the line is we wanted to make a line that was like. Cause, okay, it all started. Cause my partner is in the skincare business. He has a skincare line called Anthony's for Men. It's a skincare. So we wanted to make something. We had a meeting. I hadn't seen him in 20 years. Old friend. And I was like, you know, I have this thing about lube, right? And I'm like, there should be a frigging lube on every nightstand. Because there's such a stigma with lube. I don't care if she's, you know, wet already. Women.

Better. It doesn't. It really makes such a difference, especially right after your period. You know, you take out a tampon, and you're super dry.

Right?

Lube's great.

Lube is great. And also, even if you're already wet, like, it makes it even juicier and better. And so I was like. But people are like, oh, better get out the lube. There's a problem. She's dry. Discomfort. Like, it's a problem. And guys are like, I'm not turning her on. F. That put a freaking. I'm like, every. So I said, we should have one. And we made a lube. And then we also made this down on her comfort. And that's how it all started.

You hadn't seen him in 20 years. He's like, God, my balls are sweaty. And you said, let's do this.

Yeah, exactly. No, we were talking about sex. We were talking about lube. And then he's like, oh, but we should make a ball thing too. And then the candles, which I think I gave you last time.

You have the candles?

Yes. And I brought you some more. And I brought you something else, which we'll talk about. But, Brandi, so good to see you, because I loved being on your show last time, and it was Brandi Glanville unfiltered at Podcast one is where we do it. And I was laughing so hard because I swear to God, I think I was here for, like, maybe 30 seconds. And we got into, like, vibrators and what toys are using. I'm like, this is gonna be a frigging good time. I feel like we're, like, kindred spirits in that way. So I want to tell you, you asked. Well, Alexa over here on Podcast one asked me. She's like, what is that? That's so cool. So this is in my necklace, and I just vibrate.

It looks like a bullet. Kind of like a long, skinny bullet.

However, listen, it's a vibrator. It's a vibrator, but it's a really powerful vibrator.

You know what? You could use that while you're driving. You know, sometimes you're on the freeway and you're just like this, sitting in traffic, and you don't. You could just take your necklace off. I'd rather than use your hand.

Totally. I gave it to my friend. She's like, I use it seven times today. I'm like, dude, do you have a job? Like what? But it's pretty. Cause even Alexa was like, I love your necklace.

It is really pret.

So it's by Krave. And I brought you one.

Oh, yay.

And here's the cool thing, is that you charge it. You'll see usb. I'll show you later.

Like when you have your phone.

Yeah, totally. But it plugs in. We'll show you after. But anyway, I thought you'd like it. Cause vibrators and stuff like that. And it's by Crave. I know, right? Which one?

I have the pink one. The hot pink bullet one. It's like long and you can use. I have quite a few. I have the magic wand, which everyone is like, wah, wah. But I got the cordless one so I can travel with it.

You already got the cordless one? Yeah. Oh, they just came out with it.

I got it at Brookstone. Long time ago.

Okay. It's not the magic, right?

But it's the same thing.

But it's from the best, right?

It's like so good.

It's like an orgasm machine.

It's like 30 seconds and you're done.

Done and done. You're like 30 seconds and now I'm out the door.

This is great. But you just gotta keep your windows tinted for this necklace. So you're not gonna see me doing the steeple in my car. But I might be doing it.

You might be doing it. So enjoy that because I thought you'd like it. And I'm here with Menace.

Hello.

How you doing, Menace? It's so good to see you.

I haven't seen you in a while.

I know. It's been like ages. I don't even know where we were last time, what we were doing. When did I see you here?

Well, who. You guys know each other?

Oh, so Menace.

I know, right? We've been doing the show together, what, 10 years now?

Yeah. So Menace and I met. I was. I know, right? We still sort of like each other. But I was on free FM radio station in San Francisco and he was my board engineer. And one of our funniest shows I thought was when you got waxed. Because I was like. I was like, can men take the pain as much as women? And then my friend Lily here happened to be in Denver school at the time and she filmed it, which. We should release that or something.

YouTube. Get a YouTube station. Put it on there.

I know it is on there.

Oh, good.

It has like 8 million views. Because it's been there for 10 years. So that's awesome.

Yeah. Long story short, she moved here to la and then I got a radio job here in la and now.

And they call you Menace because Dennis Menace because you knock shit over.

No, from. Long story short, from Tupac. I've been doing radio like 18 years.

I love Tupac.

Yeah, I hit him up.

I loved Tupac.

Yeah, I know. So Menace is here and what were we just go?

No, we're just like catching up and see what we were doing. I was, I don't know, I think I was just leaving for Vegas. So I went to Vegas like two weeks ago.

Are you high right now?

No, I'm not high. I do morning radio. So I'm extremely exhausted. But I'm trying to stay away. Don't worry about it. So what? Like two weeks ago I went to Vegas with a co worker, his wife's birthday and she loves Britney Spears. So we take her to the Britney Spears show and we hook it up so she can meet Britney Spears. So that happened. Right. But across the street at like the very next day, SJP was doing like some pop up shop.

Okay.

Like in the middle of the mall.

Sarah Jessica Parker.

Yeah. She popping up or does she have a clothing shoe?

She has her own shoes. She's doing shoes. Which you could totally see her agent being like been 10 years. Like, you better do something, you know, for shoes. Right?

Yeah. So she had like this pop up shop and she was like walking around in the pop up shop just like talking to everybody. She was super effing cool.

Right? I'm sure. I love her.

I was the coolest.

Yeah.

And she was like helping people. She was like boxing up all the shoes and stuff like that. It was pretty crazy. Like, I cannot say anything bad about her ever again because she was.

What do you mean ever again? Were you trashing her before?

Of course, because I. Oh, you hate.

Sex in the city.

Yeah.

You're a dude and you don't get it.

Yeah.

You know, I just thought everything was like, she was put up so high on a pedestal by everybody. I was like, why does everyone like, contrarian. Like everyone's drinking the Kool Aid. But then when I met her, she was like incredibly cool.

So I know she just turned 50. She looks amazing.

That is something to aspire to.

I was like, thank God someone had to do it before me. I'm just happy that she looked so good.

You look awesome.

Oh, well, thank you.

I mean that's. I mean, dude, your legs. I mean, how does it even. How really goes on and on? And on my legs are genetic. Really? Right. Whatever works.

Brandy and I were standing next to each other for a couple hours not too long ago.

Oh, wow. I'm sure she remembers what happened. Did you pinch your butt?

No, it was the Dave Grohl show.

Oh.

Were you backstage with me?

Well, I walked back there, but I was tired.

Okay.

But I was standing next to you the whole. The entire show.

Oh, during the concert?

Yeah, during the concert.

Until my boyfriend got us kicked out.

Yeah. How'd he get you kicked out?

He got a little drunk and he tripped. And then the guy's like, you're out of here.

Oh, my God.

I know. And it was Dave's birthday, and he had invited us this, like, at randomly. A housewife fan and invited us. Who? My boyfriend loves Dave. And I was like, that's fine.

Right.

And then we got kicked out.

Were you like, here's an Uber and I'm going to the party?

No, I wanted to be, but he was too drunk.

Is he still your boyfriend? Well, this is the guy you're dating. You're dating someone now, right?

The guy last night? We don't know if we're boyfriend or girlfriend anymore.

I totally guessed. During my life, right? It's always back and forth.

My car is stuck in his garage. He's holding it hostage, so I have to talk to him.

Oh. Cause he wants to see you.

Well, I lost a chick move.

Guys do that. Guys think girls. Oh, you left an earring because you want to sleep with me again. He's freaking rocking your car.

Damn.

Well, it'll work because you need your car. I don't think it's an earring.

I've been Ubering all morning.

I know. Uber's the best, though. Tell me about it.

Yeah. But long story short, it was like a one in a one in a lifetime show.

Oh, it was amazing.

Yeah.

Like, every single. Every single guest you can think of came out.

David Lee wasn't David Lee. That was kind of awesome.

Yeah.

Slash, like, it was crazy.

Yeah, it was.

Sorry. I miss it. I don't do that much fun. I'm. Now. Okay.

But I saw you just recently. You're, like, on private jets, going, doing stuff.

Yeah. Oh, I went to the Podcast Awards. I hosted it with Chris Jericho. When was that?

Because I.

You were nominated and I didn't even know.

No one tells me anything.

I didn't. I know. Yeah. It was two weeks ago. I'm like, I didn't know. No. They didn't tell you? You were nominated. You were. I read your Name.

Well, thank you.

You didn't win. I didn't win. I was nominated. It's cool. It's really fun when you don't win. You're like, in my name. Oh. And you won. And I don't know who the hell.

You are, but still, I go to Vegas. Like, I've never been nominated for an award in my life.

And you know, it's hobo. I'm sorry you didn't know. But people love your podcast. Brandi Glanville, unfiltered. But the other thing was, speaking of whatever flying around, I was at the. I've been gone for a month. I was at the Sexual Health Expo this weekend in Phoenix, remember, in Scottsdale? So we did this expo here in Los Angeles a few months ago, and it was like, we. So there's not. I do go to a lot of conferences and usually it's like B2B. Like, I go and look at all the sex toys and it's everyone speaking to each other. So we thought, let's do an expo that's open to the public where people can come and like, learn about how to have a threesome, how to talk dirtier, how to communicate with your partner, plus, bunch of sex toys around. So we did it, repeated it in Scottsdale, and it was so fun. It was like all the leading sex experts were there and stuff. And I have to tell you that my friends from Sibian. You know what Sibian is? Oh, yeah. Okay. Do you know what a Sibian is? No, I have no idea. Okay, so do you remember, like Howard Stern used to have porn stars on the show and they'd have orgasms and they were like riding this machine.

Okay.

And it was like a mechanical bull. It looks like a mechanical bull. They sent me one. They've only given three free. They're like a fifteen hundred dollars. They've given it to three people. They just sent me one. It has like one hundred attachments. Like, literally, I never need to leave the house or boyfriend ever. But I already feel that way because my entire house is sex toys. But yeah, I got a Sibian. And the thing about the Sibian is that that's so cool. Cause I met the founder. Like, her dad invented it, which is how funny. Like, my dad invited a Sibian. My dad's Dennis. My dad created like the Scion, the most powerful sex toy on the planet. But it's interesting because, like, couples can like buy it and use it together. And women. Okay, so here's the thing. Orgasms, which is my favorite topic, so I personally, I don't know about you with orgasms, but I was not easily orgasmic growing up. Like, I wasn't like riding a bike when I was seven and had an orgasm.

Did you not at seven? No.

No. But were you able to have orgasms when you started having sex?

Yeah, you know, in the beginning, it was mostly from oral, you know, and it took a while till it was from, you know, what do you call it?

Intercourse? Yeah, in and out. Penetration.

Penetration, yes. That took a little while, but I've been very blessed in that area. Yes.

That's good. That's good. And then they G spot too, and all that.

Good.

So this isn't for you, but a lot of women, like myself, I'll do it.

I mean, I'll probably try it.

No, but like, clitoral. So a lot of women get stuck. They're like, I could only have a clitoral orgasm. I can only do it this way. And our sex is so expansive. Like, there's so much. It can constantly get better and you can learn more. And so I actually had to train myself because G spot again, did not come to me. I had to use, like, toys and figure it out. But the thing about the sibine is you can train with your partner. Like, it's hot. He's watching you on it. And then couples, they did a study, they had a sibium for 30 days and then they left. And then they had sex together. And the women were 30 out of 30 were able to, like, orgasm with their partner for the first time ever.

Are you kidding? No.

Isn't that amazing?

I'm shocked that a man came up with it.

I know, right? No, he's like 90. When I was in sex graduate school for sex, he came to speak and I was like, oh, my God, you made this. Sydney, he's like 90 and whatever crazy family I know. And then I met his daughter and the whole thing. So it was a fun show. Just want to tell you that gave me a.

That could change a lot of lives.

I know there's a lot of women.

That are afraid to even talk about the fact that they can't orgasm. There's orgasm shame in a way. And it takes. I mean, some of my friends and I will sit around and talk about it, and I felt bad for them. I want to help them.

I know. And I tell them, like, use toys, masks, do whatever. Because a lot of women's body, it's just the way your body is too, because we're all different. Like vaginas. A million G spots in different ways. Like, my friend just had a baby. She's like, I lost my G spot. Like, I don't know where it went. It moved. Can't find it.

It's coming back. Don't worry.

I know. As I told her, I'm like, doctors say six weeks. It could take like a year till you're comfortable, you know, you have kids. And so, yeah, I think it's a good investment. I'm just saying, couple Shabbats. So the point is that, yeah, I gave the keynote speech, and that was a good time. One more thing I have to say is that masturbation month is coming up in May.

Oh, good. I feel like it's a month for me.

I feel like it's every day. But I'm hosting a workshop at the hospital for girls, too.

Don't give yourself. Girls do it just as nice.

Guys do it. Yeah, dude, I do it all. I do it, like, because I work at home sometimes I'm like, stress reliever. I'm like, oh, today's a really good time to go in my room and have an orgasm. Or six. Because I have so many vibrators and it's part of my job. Yeah, and you exactly try out vibrators. Like, I literally do. They're like, have you, like, my system, research. Try the we vibe. I'm like, oh, I can try the we vibe this weekend.

The one that comes in the box, the one that's a circle. I think you gave it to me. I don't know who gave it to me, but I cannot fucking figure it out to save my life, dude.

Did I? What Did I. I'll give you another one.

I still have it.

It's a circle.

You can't turn a box and it's a circle. It's a ball and it separates, but you have to charge it on this little charger.

Oh, is it the Revel body? Yeah.

What the fuck is that?

Wait, I didn't give you that, but can I tell you it? Okay, that's so funny. You bring it up. The Revel body. How long ago did you get it? Because they redo it.

Somebody gave it to me here at the podcast.

Okay, so the Revel body is so cool because it's a new vibrator, but they had two rent it because the first one I was like, I don't get it. So maybe even older one. Okay, we're going to get you a new one. But the reason why it's different is because most vibrators are like, vibrator it uses Sonicare technology, like the toothbrush, right? And it has those little tops, right? Like an orange. Do you see those little orange tops? And it actually sucks if you put it in water like you're in the tub. It sucks your clitoris. It'll suck it. Like in this with the. With the. All right.

That's why I didn't throw it away.

I'll get you. I'm. Sex toys. That's one thing I can get you. I can't get you free meals here, anywhere. I can, like, totally get you sex toys.

I was plagued by trying to figure that out for a whole full week. And I even, like, my boyfriend and I, we're like, what the. How the hell do we use this?

Is it have. Well, we'll talk after.

It's black and purple.

No. Okay, so that's the old one. Now it's orange. I'm gonna get you one. Because they rewrite this down. Madison. Because they're, like, obsessed with me reviewing it. So, anyway, I'm teaching a masturbation workshop. Hustler stores, May 15, 7 to 9pm and I'm gonna be telling you the latest and greatest toys. Masturbation tips and champagne. You should come.

It's gonna be fun.

Have you been to the hospital?

Hopefully I'm coming more ways than one.

Exactly. It's gonna be a good time. So how can people rsvp oh. Oh, it's such a confusing. Okay, it's H, H, R, S, V p@l, f p dot com. That's fucking.

Who's Nice?

Or just email me feedback.

Did you hear that Gwyneth Paltrow bought the building? The Hustler building. So they're gonna move. Yeah, so they're gonna move it. They're gonna move it on Hollywood somewhere.

What is she gonna do?

She's building. No, no, she's building like some private club there for in.

For rich famous people. Dude, there's like 5000 PL.

Across the street.

Yeah, yeah. But no, I don't think it's that expensive. Like, it's $3,000 to join, and then the monthly is.

Why do we need another.

Okay, we have Soho House. It's right there.

I know, but it's. This one's, like, from Europe. And so she's bringing it to the United States.

No, but she thinks she is. And then she gets the accent and the whole thing. It's okay. I did not know that. Good to know.

But it's like happening next year or something like that.

Okay. I knew that they were moving, but have you been to the Hustler Halloween store?

I think my Halloween costumes are. Because I like to slut out on Halloween.

Right. It's our one date. Not that we're not slutty other times, but you do get a pass, which is awesome. And so that'll be fun. And so, Brandi, like I was saying, I had a blast on your podcast, which was so fun. And I just love. I love that you're so open about who you are and your sexuality and who you're dating. And you're so brave. Your books, drinking and tweeting and other Brandy blunders. Plus New York Times bestsellers, btw. Congrats on that. Thank you very much, Brandy Brand. And then drinking and dating. Psycho. Social media is ruining romance. It is absolutely. Like, I completely related because I go, you had a quote in there. And you're like. You said something like that. The guys, they. This happens to me all the time. Like, oh, no, I don't listen to your show. No, I don't. I don't Twitter. I'm on Twitter. And then they're like, oh, they read my tweets. Like, oh, so last night, you were at a museum with Stone.

What they say to you is, somebody took a screenshot, one of my friends and sent it to me. I don't follow you on Twitter.

Yeah, bullshit.

You follow my every.

Exactly. And then they know everything that you did. So don't. You do find. Okay, I know you in and out of relationship now, but let's just say for the last five years, you've been dating. Don't you fight? Like, don't you find it challenging because you're like, do you want to date me? Is it because of, like, I'm Brandi Glanville? Is it because you actually found me interesting? And do they also know that you might write about them and you might expose everything about their penis?

I did lose every. Like, I had all these backup boyfriends from her second book, like, and I would. I interviewed all of them. None of them talk to me anymore. So I said, I didn't use your real names, but they figured out who they were, right?

Right? They're like, oh, it was my small penis.

It was like, now, you know, I had my. My first chapter that I turned in my sample chapter. I called it the Unicorn Chaser. And it was this guy that no one was ever good enough. And, you know, it was that whole thing, and he was one of my favorite people. And now we do not talk.

See, this is what happens. They get pissed. But, like, but then it's like, you know, if you're going out with me, like it might. I do change the name. I don't say it was last night. I might say it was a month ago.

He knew it was him and that's the problem. And I said the sex wasn't that good for someone because he was constantly dating 20 year old supermodels that didn't speak English, didn't know how to fuck, right? So when he's, you know, having sex with a 35 year old, I want someone that knows what they're doing. And if you're only fucking 20 year olds, you don't know what you're doing.

Most guys don't know what they're doing at 20. It's funny because we had this article about this. It's like, what? Guys don't know about sex in their 20s? And women, it's like they don't know about perform oral sex. They don't know about your orgasm. Like they don't even know that they exist. Like I got off, but she had a good time. She's smiling and you're like, what the hell? Like you didn't know oral sex, no touch, like they don't care. Sex in your 20s.

But he's 35, right?

But he's dating 20 year olds.

So he just thinks cause he has a big penis, that it's the best thing in the world. And it's not, right?

It's not all about the big penis.

I'm so surprised that guys would even get butthurt about that kind of stuff.

Oh dude. When you talk to them about their friggin penis or their performance, okay, Penis.

Size, I get like, if you said some guy had a small dick, then I understand why he would get all pissy about that. But anything other than that, no saying.

That you're bad in bed. Yeah, you gotta read the pocket.

I'll be like, alright.

I'd be like, give me another opportunity. I don't know, they should take a.

Class, go to Hustler.

I mean like listen to my pocket. That's what people do. They listen because they like just. I get it. Like people don't know. And it's kinda like they say like the hot chicks are dumb because they had to be hot their whole life and not develop themselves. Like you're like, guys with big penises don't have to. But no, we want more than that.

You know what I find? I find the best guys that in bed actually usually have dated an older woman when they were Younger and an older woman taught them everything that they know. So they've known it all along. That's the really, like, I find that to be very true.

I do too. It's so funny you say that. So many guys are like, I had this woman, good for her. And I kind of feel like I should pay it forward and start baiting some younger guys.

Totally.

But I haven't done that really.

Oh, you have to.

I know. And you did. You were dating. Was. He's like in Amsterdam.

There was a couple. There was a couple. 23 year olds in my life. Yes.

And how. Okay, so. But my thing is like, did you. Was it fun? Was it hot? I mean, they didn't really know what they were doing really.

But they weren't afraid of you.

No, they probably were.

Yeah. The second I got naked, they screamed. No. No, they weren't. These two were particularly hot. Very, very like, I think they were hot forever. So they probably started fucking at 15.

Right.

So they knew what they were.

They had some years on them.

Yeah. So they were okay. They knew what they were doing. Not like a 45 year old guy, but yes, they were good.

It's true that, yeah, sex definitely gets better as you're older. But speaking of like large penises. So can we talk about your vagina for a second?

Sure.

So you had the vaginal reconstructive surgery, vaginal rejuvenation surgery. Rejuvenation surgery. Okay, surgery. So can you talk about explain what that is?

Sure. So I had two children. The good old fashioned way. I spit them out of my big old vagina. And then I got a divorce. My husband was cheating and I unfortunately kept having sex with him even though we were getting a divorce. And I couldn't quit him. I couldn't stop.

Right.

You know, it's like I hate sex. That whole thing. And even though he's already like, it was a nightmare. So I decided the only way to not have sex with him anymore was to be free of him and have a Eddie free vagina. So I went to, I did some research. I went to this doctor, Dr. Matlock. He was like the pioneer for this procedure. And what you do is you go in and there's two things you could do. You could do the outside, make it all pretty with the lady. I didn't do that. I did the inside. It's basically a tummy tuck. But inside your vaginal, whatever you call it.

They laser cut the wall and then they pull the skin together and then they sew it up and you're tight. And they do that all the way down to the bottom.

But you felt that you weren't tight or did you just assume you weren't?

You don't know. My ex husband made a very lovely comment about things not being the way they used to be before children.

But do you think he was just saying that to you because he was trying to, like, just like it didn't matter. Right. That doesn't leave your brain.

Yeah, it just. It was there.

Cause I have a friend who's obsessing right now about her labia. She's like. I just. Every time I see her, we get drunk and she'll be like, I gotta talk to my labia. I'm like, get the surgery. I mean, you're upset, but women do. We don't obsess. Cause I don't think that guys.

Guys don't care about that.

That was a shitty thing that he said to you. But I don'. They're like going, oh, they're down there. They're down there.

Once they get down there, they do not feel.

Yeah, I don't want her to worry, but I get if you weren't feeling it as much either. Now, how does sex feel? Different?

Yeah. Well, I mean, you have to. It was very, very, very painful. The recovery was hell.

How long is the recovery?

Six weeks. It's, you know, it's like when you have a kid you can't have sex with. Wow.

Only six weeks? I thought it'd be a lot longer.

What if I had a catheter and it was super painful and it was.

Not fun, but so worth a tight vagina now. Yes.

And they ask you how tight you want it? Like, I could have been.

Oh, my God. Do they give you, like, different things?

Like feel like 17 they gave you?

No, I can't ever make decisions.

Like, I don't want it to hurt. Like when I was a virgin, but, you know, like maybe 17, 18. I don't know.

Like, who do you ask?

You know, I was just like, I don't want it to hurt. I just want it to be tight. And so. Yeah.

And you could still like. Or everything worked the same.

Everything worked.

Like, you could find your G spots too. Like, I'm like my friend who lost yours.

That's all. That's true. So. Yeah. No, it's all good.

That's really cool. I'm glad that you did that. And you feel good about yourself.

I had surgery on my kid. Feels better on my penis. And it took six months.

Oh, he really did.

Did you really?

Yeah.

What did you do?

You had a.

Like an implant Kidney stone. And they had to cut my dick open. It was not.

This is painful, talking about cutting open.

It took six months. That's why I was surprised. It seemed like the procedure was.

But you guys have a little teeny tiny hole that this donut.

You're gonna say he has a little, teeny tiny penis.

I was like.

They had to cut the hole open. It was crazy. But I won't go too much into it.

Can you still get a heart on?

Yeah, Yeah. I was afraid, though, I was gonna wake up and not have a of piece, so. Thank God that didn't happen.

Okay, so, Brandi, I want to talk to you about, like, date. We're gonna get a sec in a second. Well, we're just fucking anything but dating, like. So when you got your divorce and you were like, out, I mean, you've been in a relationship and then you start. You're living in Los Angeles, which we know isn't the easiest town to date in. So what was that like for you? Getting out again and having sex? And how did you do it? How did you meet? You just meet people wherever you go?

Well, no, I, you know, first I, you know, my divorce was very public, but no one really knew who I was, so it wasn't like, you know, I was. Was like, oh, they're. Oh, fucking Brandy Glanville, right? It was just me.

And you're hot, so you probably got.

Hit on just going out and, you know, following through. I actually fucked a couple of my ex boyfriends, my ex husband's friends, just to piss them off, right? Because it's like a nice little pool to take, you know, pick from. And then I just. I. You would meet a lot of my girlfriends are single. We would go out. I'd meet guys at bars. I had. I called them micro relationships because I never wanted it to get too serious. And it was just kind of like here and there and, you know.

Did you find that they wanted to get more serious when you didn't?

When I wasn't available is when they wanted me. When I was still technically married. But not, you know, we were going to get a divorce, but you're going through it, but you're technically married. That's the safest thing for a guy, right? Because I'm not asking for a ring because I've already got one, right? And I'm married. It's safe. And I'm gonna be married for years to come because divorce takes a long time sometimes, mind you. A long time. And so that's when guys really, really wanted to be with me. Because there was no expectations on my end from it. Like, you had no worries about commitment, kids. I wasn't like, clock's not ticking. I don't want to ring.

Right. I already have kids. Yeah, I've got that all down. So what about, like, sexually? Like. Because I know, like, when you get older again. In my 20s, I wasn't really. Wasn't having met that many orgasms, early 20s. But I also wasn't able to, like, talk about what I wanted. And so did you feel like now, having sex that you were able to, like, get what you want? Like, do you confront guys? You talked about what you want? Was the sex better?

You know what? I think, you know, I kind of owe this one boyfriend a giant. Thank you, Joey Monahan. Thank you. When I was 17, I met. He was, like, seven or eight years older than I was. And he pretty much turned me into a freak. Cause I was like. I would lay there and think it was hot. And I'm like. And he taught me how to have sex. Really?

Like, what did he teach you?

I mean, he just taught me about, like, being comfortable with my body. And he was. He was the first person to go down on me. And you taught me how he liked his dick sucked. He was the first person I had anal with that I thought was, like, crazy, not okay. And he just made it more acceptable. And he made me feel comfortable. He told me how beautiful I was, how sexy I was, and maybe I should do this, maybe I should do that, and turned me out. And then after that, it was fucking.

I'm like, great.

Why do I know all this now? That's.

No, but see, I feel like we all need someone that kind of opens us up in that way. I had that. Like, there's like, the older woman. I had a boyfriend like that, too. And I was 25. And he just. Everything was okay and cool and, like, I just completely blossomed into this crazy sex person that I am now. And it was amazing. So the dating. So in your book, you talk. In both your books, really. But the second one more was more about dating. Yeah, dating. And so were you, like, taking notes as you were going? How do you remember all those dates? Or was it just, like, in your brain?

I mean, the ones that are in there were. Some of them are micro relationships. I mean, these were people that were in my life. And, you know, I have the worst. My brain is a steel clamp. I don't forget things. And I wish I could sometimes. Unless I'm, like, super wasted and I try to forget. No, I remember everything.

You do. See, that's good. I remember nothing. Like, I don't even know how I got here today.

Trust me, it's not good.

But you remember the details and play them back.

I do. Yeah. No, it's good.

But, like. Yeah, that's good. Okay. But I was gonna read this tweet that I found that you wrote November 14, and you said, if you touch the guy you're dating's phone and he freaks out, he is A, shady as fuck. B, untrustworthy, C, hiding something. D, all the above. And I think that's true. People are so obsessed with their phones. Their phones. Absolutely. And so did you find guys were cheating? Did you find guys you were with? Or you could just tell?

It was just the reaction I got. I walked up behind him, and he had his phone like this, and he had a smile on his face. So he was clearly reading something. And I went. He put it in his pocket, and I went to grab it, and he freaked out. And I was like, listen, you can have my phone all day long. I don't have anything to hide. What is on there that is. That I'm not allowed to see? And it just caused me to have. So I already have trust issues as it is.

Sure. Like, that's hard to get over.

And he's sitting there, you know, and he can't see that well. So he's holding the phone and. Yes. The older guy. And he's like. And he's smiling, and he's like. I was just checking what time the movie started. I'm like, we're fucking in the movie theater getting popcorn. And then we had. It was the Hunger Games movie, and I had the worst movie of my. I was like this. It was the third one. Like, I think the third.

Yeah, Yeah.

I was pissed the whole time.

I know, right?

I just think if you're in a relationship. I'm not. Listen, I don't want to check your phone, but if I grab it and you freak out, then I think that's a sign. Why? What are you doing?

But how about guys. Exactly. No, that makes total sense. And how about the guys that are always on their phones the whole time that you're together?

That's so disrespectful.

But those guys are so sloppy. Guys in general are so sloppy with that kind of stuff. Like, eventually they'll get caught if they're doing something shady on their technology.

Maybe. Because, I mean, not with you though.

You don't even pay attention.

With social media, Facebook, all that, they're gonna get caught.

Okay, so we take a great break for our sponsors, but when I come back, I do want to talk about your feelings on why social media is actually ruining it. Little more details and then we're just gonna get into friggin sex and orgasms and blowjobs. Okay, but first, fleshlight it is. Do you know what fleshlights are?

No, but I know what a Flesh Jack is.

Oh, what's a Flesh Jack? Oh yeah, same thing. Okay, Flesh Jack. Yeah, the Flesh Jack is the one for the.

For gay guys.

Yeah, exactly. So the Flesh Jack is the butt for guys. And this is the. It's a male masturbation sleeve. And it. Men, they've got their hand.

Yeah.

And they're like, why do I need something else? Well, well, try a flashlight. It's naturally like patented material. It was invented by NASA. It looks like a flashlight, but it's a flashlight. And you men, like, you masturbate, you could use it on your part. You could give it, you could say, hey baby, he has a hand job, whatever. They have the most mind blowing orgasm of their life. First guy I gave it to is like, God, I would leave my wife if it could. And they have a stamina training unit, as you want to say.

Every guy should have one so that when we're out of town they do not need to cheat.

Exactly.

Tender. Get a flush Jack. Fleshlight. Do whatever you have to do.

Exactly.

Because guys are lazy. Just do that.

No, totally. Because it's kind of like having sex with someone else. Because it's not your hand, it's not your partner, but it's like a whole nother experience.

And you don't have to buy dinner.

Or even coffee, Nothing. It's like the three orgasms. It's awesome. So go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, use code Emily, and you get a free bottle of their award winning flesh lube. Cause lube, you can never be too rich, too thin, have too much lube.

I think lube makes the world go round.

It does make the world go round.

It's like my favorite, faster and slipperier.

Okay, so this guy. Now do you not really want to talk? You're in, you're out. Oh, he's. Your car's haunted.

Yeah, yeah, my car's haunted.

But can we just talk a bit about your sexuality? Because I got a quote from you that you said that you're not a Lesbian. But you're not totally straight and you think there's a lot of people. You talked about your. Yeah, a lot of people out there. Like, I think there's a lot of people out there like that myself. I've experimented. But how did you discover that about yourself?

You know, I've always, you know, I grew up modeling. Well, at 17 and 108. I love beautiful women. All my friends are beautiful women. I don't know, I think there's something really, really beautiful about a naked woman as opposed to a naked man, which, no offense, I mean, I like, you guys can do.

But men are disgusting.

I don't like a naked man.

No, no, no.

I don't like the parts. And it always, I don't know, it always turned me on to turn another girl on. Especially if there was a guy there partaking. It was just like, it was like this whole sex us and it was mostly waist up stuff. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been waist down. But you know, I wouldn't say that I'm bisexual because I hate labels.

Right.

I don't know, I just, I like what I like, you know? And I feel like if you try to plan a threesome or whatever, it doesn't work out. I feel like it has to be organic and it has to be just. You have to be in that moment.

Totally.

And I think that anyone listening that dates me, don't expect me to make out with girls for you. Because it just happens when I want it to happen.

Exactly. That's always. That has to be the woman's idea. Like, don't be forever, guys, like, keep asking my girlfriend for threesome. I'm going to give you threesome. It's not gonna happen.

It's not happening.

That's the way that you talk about it to her. Like, no, it has to be her idea.

Actually, it's never gonna happen if you keep asking. Cause you're getting mad and you go the opposite direction.

And that's partially what my keynote was about at the sex spot. I was like, listen, guys, the worst way to tell you so, God, I haven't got a blow job from you since like the Clinton administration. Like, are we having sex tonight? It's like, that's negative reinforcement. How about like, oh my God, last night was so hot. I had like, you looked like you were so turned on when I went down on you with my tongue. Did that feel good to you? Like maybe we could try that and make it like a positive, fun thing.

To talk about or Maybe get a drug. Maybe some pot. I'm saying. Or maybe Molly, go and lock your door and re. Get to know each other. Do some crazy things that you don't have the nerve to do, or it's gotten too stale. And maybe do a dance for him. Or vice versa. Like, just try something new. And even a Xanax will help because it takes the. You know, it really does. Yeah, it takes the edge off To Xanax and a glass of wine. No, you're not supposed to mix. But it happens.

Does happen. Take Uber. It's. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Well, you're gonna be in your apartment. You gotta do it at home.

Don't do it outside of your house. It's so true. You gotta relax. It's so funny, because the only sex. So when I couldn't have my orgasms at 19 and all my friends were like, you never had an orgasm? I'm like, or what? Like, it just never occurred.

They probably didn't either. They just don't wanna say there's embarrassment with people that don't. They don't wanna say it. It's so weird.

No, but my friends, they were the ones that had, like. They were trying to help me. It was like my whole community was like an intervention. They were sending me articles. My mom was, like, the only sex advice she ever gave me. She was like, did you ever try, like, smoking a little weed? I'm like, mom, really? I found out years later that's actually really good advice. Chills you out. So also, speaking of threesomes. So I know you were saying that when you were married that it was like there was no penetration.

Yes.

But how about navigating that now if you're in a relationship? I mean, like you said, I think the best ones. The best ones I've had are when none of us are committed.

This is very funny because this just came out the other night. I. I was looking for earplugs at my boyfriend's place because he snores really loud. And I opened. I was not snooping because I don't snoop. I opened his bedside table, and there's condoms in there. And we don't use condoms, so we don't. Because we don't have to. And so I put them out, you know, I put them out next to his bed so when he came to bed that he would see that I saw them, and I'm like, hey. I go, hey, what are those for? He's like, well, he's like, babe, they've just been in here forever and I believed him.

Look at the expiration date, right?

No, I was just like, whatever. He's like, they've been in. I'm just glad he had them. But I said, well, you don't need them now. And he's like, all right. So he's like, I'm gonna throw these away, but I'm gonna keep two, just in case we have some fun time. And I'm thinking, so you think that we have fun time. You get to fuck the girl that I was like. I just said, okay and went to sleep. But I'm just thinking to myself, huh. He really is delusional, right?

Because there's third. People can make rules.

I have rules. And I would. Was just thinking, he's really. He's really not getting a threesome.

No, not at all. So you were always like, no penetration, but he can go down on her, do whatever and what?

I think it's sexy to watch two women together for a guy, you know, if she wants to do something to him, that's fine. I just think that because of STDs and a lot of other things that you have to be very careful. And I don't want to watch my man fuck another person. I think when I'm too. I'm Scorpio, I'm very jealous. I might hurt them. But, like, really?

No, really, like, this pain, you never get that out of your head. And you're like, he looks like he's.

Having way too much, way more than he has with me. Like, no, I couldn't.

No, it's painful. I got it. So that's why I always say, like, people like, no threesomes are horrible. I'm like, they don't have any horrible.

You just have to have barriers. You have to have boundaries.

Boundaries. You have to set the boundaries. It's so true.

And don't keep condoms in your nightstand and think that you're gonna use.

Okay, but here's my question, Brandy. Were they not there before? Are you opened there?

I don't. Listen, if he's good, do something. Use a condom. Thank God. You know, we've just recently decided we weren't seeing anyone else. So I wasn't mad. I was just kind of like, leftover. Yeah, I don't. I don't care. I really don't care. But I wanted him to know that I saw them, and it was just an interesting conversation. So he seen them at my house and got really mad, right?

So it was like, quit pro CRO.

I think he was mad because there were Magnum.

Okay. The worst thing is guys finding condoms at your house. The second worst thing is when there's condoms. It's so true.

But it's cool that she doesn't snoop, because I'm telling you, if a person's gonna cheat on you, they're gonna cheat.

On you no matter what.

Right? You're always gonna find something anyway.

And you're gonna find something that probably isn't anything. When you're gonna make it into something, it's not in your head. So I'm already crazy enough I don't need to be having these weird fantasies about something. An email that probably has nothing to do with sex or, you know, a meeting that has nothing to do with a relationship. So I don't snoop.

It's good not to snoop.

I grabbed his phone and he freaked out. I'm thinking maybe I should snoop.

Oh, this is the same guy. I mean, he's got a password, of course, but then sometimes you can look over their shoulder and get the password. Not that I've done that. Well, maybe I have, but I've had a guy recently or two guys over the last few years that looked at my phone, and I'm usually pretty. And I was in the shower at a guy's house, and he. This was like, whatever. It doesn't matter when it was, but this is when you get in trouble. It was six years ago, and I got in the shower and we had an open thing, like we weren't committed, which is kind of my mo. I don't really love commitment.

But he saw a bunch of sexts that I had a whole sexting thing with this guy. And it was right before I went to his house. And so it was like, tim is scandalous.

You could have changed the names to girls name.

Oh, that's such a good idea. But then why would I be saying, like, I can't wait to have your big coffee.

Why not?

Should be at her Pizza Hut or something?

No, I mean. But there is a little part of me that feels like when someone grabs my phone, I do feel slightly violated.

Right.

And so I understand a little bit where he's coming from, but not 100%, right? No, because it is so personal.

It is personal. And I don't want anyone just seeing, like, where I'm browsing and what I'm looking up. You don't know. It's like our own thing.

It's like when you hand your phone to the guy at Verizon and he goes back to the back door with it. You're like, he's looking at all my pictures.

I know you know that they are.

Yeah, they are totally. Like you're getting molested at that moment. Phone molestation.

They are. And like, mine is like sex. Like, what dream about, like every time I do it, I'm like, I'm sex with Emily. Like, what? I'm not a prostitute, I swear to God. And then, you know, like, my phone's not coming back for an hour or something.

I have to ask you, since you're been dating, had boyfriends and stuff like that, are you open to getting married again?

Nope.

Nope.

You're done.

It's pretty easy.

Done.

Done. I think that my divorce is so difficult and so hard. I don't want to ever have to go through that again. And I don't want a guy to have to be with me because of a piece of paper. Be with me because you want to be with me and not because it's too hard to get out of it. So if we want to break up, I want to live with someone. I want someone in my life and hopefully for as long as they're supposed to be in my life. But the whole idea of marriage to me, me is old fashioned. I have a lot of gay friends that think that I'm like, listen, be careful what you wish for. You guys want to get married, go get married, but don't come crying to me when shit goes bad.

No, it's totally. It's absolutely true. I mean, I, I agree. I've never wanted to get married. But you did it already, so you're.

Like, I mean, I'd like a ring and I'd like to get it, have him get on a knee so I could just reject him, but.

Right, exactly. That'd be a good time. But I'm gonna keep the ring. But I'm saying no.

Say no. But you know what? You can move in.

So do you think that sex, like, even with this guy you're dating, do you think it gets better in a relationship? Like, do you work on it or is it. Do you think it's either good or it's just.

I think you have to. If it's a long term relationship, it's someone that you're. You have to work on it. You have to try new things with him because it's been so on and off. It's always exciting because we don't know if we're gonna be together tomorrow.

Well, that's the ingredient to great sex is the spontaneity, that unknown, the challenge.

It's like, listen, if You. If I'm at your house every day, all, you know, week, we'll do it when we do it. But if I'm kind of maybe breaking up with you, that's all you can think about.

The breakup sex and getting your car. He knows you're coming with the car, so you're there with the car.

The problem is he likes to talk. And I'm the dude. I'm the dude in a relationship. Listen, let's just let it go. It's like water out into the bridge. You know, we still have a list of what we haven't talked about yet.

No, really.

I swear to God.

She wants, like, process emotions and stuff. Yes. And you're like, can't we just get.

Just send me over. I'll rip up the list and I'll pick up the car.

Oh, my God.

No. But I'm kind of like the dude, too. It's not like I set out and said, I'm going to be like a dude, but I do feel very dude.

Like, kind of have to let some things go and just move on. Because there isn't an explanation for certain things that happen. Especially when you're inebriated or something goes down that, you know. I got mad at him last night because I'm sitting next to him. And I had gone to a charity dinner with somebody that bid on having dinner with me at my son's school, for our school. But it was me and Kim Richards. And obviously Kim Richards is in rehab, so she's not going with me. But I had to fulfill what I was doing. So I went. I took my book agent with me because I was a little scared. And my boyfriend was across the street. He's like, come have a drink. So we walked across the street to have a drink. There's two pretty girls sitting across from him and a bunch of guys. And my boyfriend's drunk. He's a tequila drinker. He was like six drinks in, and he was being, you know, all touchy Philly. And somebody said something, he's like. And the girls stand up to go to the bathroom. He's like, well, who wouldn't want to go to the bathroom with two hot chicks like you? And I was. I don't know why it bothered me so much. I thought, I'm like, you know what? Yeah, they're pretty and fine. I'm sitting next to you. That's something that you say when I'm not sitting next to you.

Exactly. Or think it, or whatever. That's.

So it was a little disrespectful.

It's. It's completely disrespectful. I agree. When he was drunk. Now that that's an excuse. But I hate when guys. It's like, I know when you're with your friends, like, check out that chick. But we already, like. I feel like guys can never. And menace and I go back and forth in this. But, like, I. We don't. He doesn't agree, but I think, like, I want guys to tell me that they think I'm hot, beautiful, like, a lot like, you can. I used to say 10 times a day, compliment or like, it not. And it's not.

Because I'm like, she was trying to set it at 10 times.

That's a little.

Well, compliments will get you everywhere. And it is. And you know, I find that compliments, especially from women. I enjoy a compliment from women more than a man because they actually mean it. Men just want to fuck you.

Right? Women are like, but the guys that you're with, though. But if they're like, no, it is. Or like, you look hot today. Pretty. Or like, look so nice. Or like, oh, my God, you look hot. That's what you want. But not checking out the other girls. And you do look so freaking. We have to take a picture after because you should all check out my website because your outfit. You don't even feel hot. No, my outfit is cute.

But I went the spa before. Do they get. They had to meet this facial lady, and then she took my eye makeup off. I'm like, no, I have to go do things.

And you look like you. Okay, so you look stunning. You have no makeup on.

Like, I put makeup over my zits to come in here, but I didn't. I don't have eye makeup and stuff.

Oh, my God, you look. You're sweet, dude. I mean, come on. But anyway, hot. And I'm not just saying that because you like our comments, but I always feel like, compromise. But I'm seeing someone. He like, never, like, I even said this. And he listens to the show, but he says he doesn't. But I know he does. It's like just sometimes or when you're getting dressed, like, say, like, oh, you. You look hot. I need that for my soul.

We say never not compliment a woman, but I'm just saying you were. You're on this campaign for a little while, ten times a day.

Because if someone did it twice, it's more than zero. So I was trying to get a point across.

So he just comes in a little bit. You know, because, like, you need to hear it. You really do.

You do. And it sounds like maybe we're like, needy or egos. Not even that. Just like, I want to know that you.

You.

You know that adore me, you're attracted to me. We work hard to be.

But I was saying, I was saying if you did it 10 times a get. 10 times a day, it seems like the guy is needy. And then she's like, oh, this guy's a total.

Well, he can't be like, he looks at hoodies. He's a pittie.

If you're not gonna do it 10 times a day, we're gonna get really cute and dressed up and go out and other people are gonna give us compliments and you're not gonna like that.

Exactly. We need a little bit of attention.

And there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's anything wrong with going out and maybe being a little flirtatious and realizing that you're still hot. You still got it. Because your guy's not telling you, right? Not. Not saying that you should go make out with anyone. But I might have to.

If you don't.

I drag my married girlfriends out so that I can make them realize how beautiful they still are.

Right. Well, that's a hard thing. And you must have felt that after you got divorced, too. Like, am I still attractive? Am I still. Right. I mean, because that's all. But it probably took you like five minutes and then you were like, oh, yeah.

No, I just not really with the thanks.

No. But you had a good time. Okay, so tell me. It seems like it from your books.

No, I know I had a great time.

I know, but see, I still like having fun. But do you feel. You feel like now you're ready to.

Well, I mean, I have fun no matter what I do. And I think there's ways to have fun, even with one person. One person, Jo. I think it's gonna be for life. I don't know. I don't know how long relationships are supposed to last. Maybe there's a 10 year cap, I don't know.

And that's fine to me.

That's great.

I don't look at any relationships as like when someone's like, oh, yeah, we got divorced. I mean, in my whole life, I felt this like, I'm like, you know, good tenure. Okay, that's great. Great run like you learn something. Because in a way, I know you went through really painful time, but, like, look at your life now. Isn't it so rich and Feel you're you. Like, you are completely like. You probably found out so much about yourself, and you become like Brandy, probably who you are in your core to everybody. You've nothing to hide, like, unabashedly yourself. And that's probably something that. I didn't know you before, right?

But I wasn't behind the man. I was a we, not a me. I always say this. I didn't know who I was until I came out of this. I. And I say to my friends, you're too young, a lot of them, to get involved with a man and get married. You don't even know what the fuck you want to do with your life and who you are. Figure out who you are. You know, people are living longer. Wait till you're 30 to get married.

I say that you don't need a.

Ring at 22 because you're gonna get out of it at 35 and be like, who the fuck am I?

I say it all. And, like, really, like, in your 20s, you don't know. You don't. You don't know who you are.

All.

Is there any.

What I think is hilarious also from out of your divorce, is that now you're way more well known than he is. I can't even tell you what I.

Don'T even know he is. I didn't ever know he was. But I know you. Everyone loves all my friends. Like, oh, my gosh. That was like, you killed that show.

I mean, really, that's killing me.

But I'm sure. I know I did my one season of my show, and it was like.

It's hard.

Madness was on it. The misadvising it. I mean, I just had three months, and I was like, they're hardcore. It's tough.

But you know what? I feel blessed.

It's worth it. Yeah. It's a blessing. It was the best thing that I actually. Yeah.

Now, I have a question for you. What's your feeling on. I've never done this. I know. I'm curious about it because a lot of guys are saying. They say no right away. Two guys and me.

Okay. Right. Because they're like, one dick theory. Dick in the room. I think that it can be super hot. I actually have never done. I know, But I can tell you all about it. It's one of my fantasies, but there's so many guys like, that makes me gay. I don't want to see their dick. But then I know guys who have done it. It's like, dude, you're not. You don't touch their Balls. And you should just be getting off that. You're giving this woman like amazing pleasure. You could even, like, you don't even be in the same time. You could be on the other end of the bed. Get a king size bed.

If they want two girls, why can't I want two guys?

Exactly. And we do want that. I just haven't had the. You know. And even my threesome has totally dived since I moved to la. I used to a lot more. I just knew more people in San Francisco. I had more opportunities for threesomes, but I actually haven't. I'm trying to think if I've done it here.

It's just too much driving.

I've got two guys in one night, but that doesn't count. So. No, but no. My theory on it is like, go for it. If you can find guys that are comfortable with their sexuality.

I can't. That's the problem.

None. Really.

The guy that I'm dating is like, no way.

Right. That's how they're. I thought you were gonna ask me about prostate play in penetration with guys anus. But no, you're right. Guys would. Guys freak out about it. And I don't. I guess I get it because guys are disgusting.

Like, they don't want to say, see another guy.

Yeah, but it's so fair. I almost feel like we should have ban on threesomes until there are more guy. Guys.

Listen, you do it my way and then I'll do it your way.

Exactly. No, I think you're right. Maybe you could talk maybe like. But then I'm like, he wouldn't want one of his friends there. He doesn't want.

I mean, it would have to be. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's difficult, but it's difficult for us too. I don't want it to be somebody's gonna be able to see down the road and fantasize about down the road. I mean, kind of like a stranger that comes in and leaves.

Yeah, they leave. They don't sleep over. We don't even know.

I don't know their number. Like, you met them out. It's organic. Bye.

You're both straight.

Bye, Felicia.

Bye. Bye. Bye. He's not gonna like give you a blowjob or whatever, but is there anything. I was gonna ask you about sex? More about sex. Is there anything that a guy does besides not having a threesome with two guys that like just like pisses you off a bed or that isn't like that turns you off like the second he does blank the second the thing.

I pretty much like everything. I don't like when a guy kisses you too hard. Like, I love kissing, but when he's shoving his tongue down your throat to the point where you're, like, choking on his tongue, it's too much. I like it a little more soft and sensual. And I love. You know, I love the tongue. It's all great. But just because you're fucking me hard doesn't mean you have to fuck my mouth hard with your tongue.

Right? It's like, the tongue. What do they call it? Tonsil hockey? They're not even moving it. You're just like, I know. And then what do you do? Do you tell them, though? I like, hey, I know.

I push away.

Yeah.

I'm like, softer, right? No, it's.

I think bad kissers are worse than people that are bad in bed.

But, see, he's a great kisser. It's just that there's the. I'm not talking about anyone specifically.

No, nobody's like, no, not all, but.

The tongue thrusting really hard. I don't like it. And I'm like, ah.

You know what a great tip is? Like, that I tell people is that if you don't like the way someone's kissing, you can say to them, okay, let's do something. I'm gonna show you the way I like to be kissed, and then you can show me the way you like to be kissed, and then we can kind of go from there and see what happens. So it's kind of a good way. So he knows what you like and you know what he likes.

Now I'm gonna get one together with my boyfriend because I'm getting all turned on.

Oh, that's good. And you're not even using the necklace yet. No.

It doesn't take much. We start talking about it. I'm like, I want it. It's crazy.

I get it. I know. Me too. Now I want to threesome with you guys. What am I doing tonight?

I know.

Just get on Tinder and make it happen.

Did you ever do Tinder?

I didn't. All my friends are on it, and I think it's ruining our lives. But social media.

Ruining our lives. Oh, yeah, Our relationships. How come?

Because the mystery's gone. There's no mystery. There's no, when is he gonna call? When is he gonna call? I wonder what he's doing, because you can look on any Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. You know what he's doing all day long, every day at any time of the day. And he could it just pisses you off because he could. He has all the time in the world to text you because there's no more 24 hour rule. Because we're not calling anymore. We're texting. And it's just. I feel like. And I've done this. I'm guilty of it. I use my social media as a tool to entice people and to piss people off. And, you know, it's a tool.

I love what your Twitter is at Brandy Glanville. Okay. And all your stuff, your Instagram.

I'm not on Instagram. There's somebody on there that says they're me, but it's not me.

Okay. Okay. And then your Twitter, your Facebook, Brandy Glenn Bell. It's all across the board. Yeah, I get it. You can see. And then you're like, why do you have time to post on Instagram and Twitter and not text me?

Right?

Yeah. And now the text messages, they show up as read. You know, you can take that off.

No, take that off. Only my mom is.

I know some people I text, they have no clue.

I didn't for the longest time. People were like, you know that people can see that you've read this and are.

That is the first. Okay, okay, everyone, this is a public service announcement. If you have an iPhone, you can take off the thing that says red. You don't like my mother. I'm like, mom. Because I like actually my mom. Cause I know she read it, but everyone else, like, I don't want you to know I read it. No, but then you can't. Also can't lie and say, I didn't get your text. Because you always get texts.

But you know what else is like, this is a public service announcement for myself. When you see those little gray bubbles, like someone's writing something, and then nothing comes through. Yeah, it makes me crazy. I'm like, wait, what were you gonna say?

Just tell me.

And it makes me crazy all day long, long.

Or. Or they take forever, the bubbles. And then it's just like, I was.

Just talking to my friend about this. I said this was. I said I was dating this guy. We'd have this whole thing and he'd be texting, and then bubbles, bubbles, bubbles. And it was like new. And I was like, excited nothing. I'm like, well, it piss. And then I'm like, well, do I text him back? Because he stop bubbling. And then I stopped bubbling.

No, what you do is you write a K. Like, write one word and leave it open on that page. And then you go make yourself some coffee. So he. You're giving them the bubbles back, and then he gets nothing. But you don't send it. So he's bubbles.

But then I think, is he overthinking it? Was he deleting? Did he think he was overwriting?

I don't know. The bubbles are driving me crazy.

Me, too. And my friends laugh because they're like, emily, you're the fastest texter. And we joke about you, that you're like, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles. Because I write really fast and you can. I actually send my text. But it was actually very, very funny.

To go back to jobs, blow jobs, and social media ruining everything. It's kind of like. Yeah, with the text. The texting. You've said this numerous times where it's invented for guys, you know, now we don't have to talk on the phone. We can get through. Yeah, yeah. And now, like, you keep up with somebody the entire day.

But social media is making us antisocial because we can't have a conversation anymore.

That's why if you're a guy that knows how to have a conversation these days, you're getting killing it.

You're getting laid.

No, because we want to have a conversation. And also, the bad thing is if you're dating online or you just. You sleep with someone and then you keep. Or you meet him one day and then you're texting for a week, maybe you don't see him again, and you think you're having this whole relationship, and it's freaking exhausting.

It's lost in translation. And there's you. You might be thinking one thing and he's writing another, and you're building this up in your head. A lot of my girlfriends do it. I'm like, that's not what this means.

Right, Exactly.

There's no connotation.

You don't.

You can't tell what they're trying to get across.

He's texting four other chicks.

Well, that's how I used to say when it started texting, I was like, it's made the booty call so much easier for a guy because he can put out, like, five texts. Whoever answers first, he's banging that night.

It's so funny because I. When I start thinking of things in my head that I want to tell my girlfriends, and I'll be like, fucking Bob is driving me crazy. And I will text Bob that Bob is driving me crazy. Yeah, I text the wrong. I text.

I've totally missed text people. And you can't take it.

You can. And you're just. You got to own it. Like I said this. The girl is a friend of mine, got her lips done really big and I was in the parking lot trying to talk to my other friend. I'm like, oh, my God. Lips are out of control. And this goes. Hi, Brandy.

Oh, no.

I'm like, sorry, honey. They are big.

That's the worst. That is the. That. Yeah, yeah. Ms. Texting.

I do it all the time.

You do? That's hilarious. Yeah, I've totally done that and I've been crushed.

But I'm also just saying that since you get to keep up with somebody the entire day and like on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all that stuff, when you get to see them, you really have nothing to talk about because you already had the conversation.

But you're in a long term relationship. Do you guys text all day?

No, we barely text.

Don't even talk?

No, he never talks to her. He goes to bed at like 8, 8 o'.

Clock.

He has his morning show and the whole thing. I don't even think they have sex.

But yeah, barely.

He doesn't talk about it. He never talks. I'm like, am I the only one? This is sex.

Emily is supposed to be about you, dude.

I don't talk about sex.

You never talk about your sex life.

I do. I do. So get off my ass sex lately. But btw, I've gotten some new sex toys that are super, super fun.

But before, you know, cell phones and all that kind of stuff, it was. You would wait until the end of the day and then you would share everything that happened. But now you're sharing. Yeah, now you're sharing everything. That's what I'm saying.

There's no mystery.

It's.

It's ruining romance. There is not. When you see them, there's nothing to fucking say because you've been. And if you don't answer in within five seconds, you were like, where are you? Question mark. Question mark. Hello?

And then you get psycho. And then you get psycho. You can't take a shower.

Right, right, sorry.

We were in the middle of a conversation though, and the bubbles came and the bubbles stopped and we were gonna do something.

Yeah. Oh, wait, you've been having sex. What's going on with that?

Yeah, I have been having sex and it's been going well. It's funny because I. Yeah, I like them. It's fun. I mean, you know, we're having good sex. It's definitely. We're communicating. Communicating.

So you have a boyfriend?

Sure.

No, I don't do well.

Sex and boyfriends, that. That doesn't mean the same thing.

No, no, I do not have a boyfriend.

I'm just.

I never even want to have a boyfriend.

Exactly. The second she said she had a boyfriend, then he wouldn't be her boyfriend anymore. So you have to make them chase you forever.

Oh, my God.

Well, there's just gotta be some mystery, because the things that make sex so hot, like, the. The mystery, the spontaneity, the newness. Is he gonna call? Are all the things you're like, oh, it's so hot. But the second we have that with someone typically, you're like, let's lock this down. Let's become stable. Let's become predictable. And all those things cancel each other out, which makes it not hot anymore. So the more you can keep that newness that you had at the beginning, and you can infuse that no matter how close you get, your sex is gonna still be hot.

And this is my thing. You always have to be slightly unavailable, even though, you know, text. Everyone can find you. If you tell a guy, listen, I don't want to get married ever. I have kids. I've done that thing. I really am happy living alone. That guy's gonna fall madly in love with you, madly in love with you. The second you're like, oh, come on in, and you're my boyfriend. He's gonna be like, you know what? I really don't want a relationship. You don't say these words. Don't say relationship. Don't say stable. Don't say, my clock is ticking. Don't say, are we a couple yet? The second you do that, all things change. And I want to teach my girlfriends these things. I'm like, the more you act like a dude, the more the dude's gonna chase you and think like a man. I'm telling you.

I mean, Brandi, I gotta say that I say the same. I never. And I've been this way since I was a kid. Like, started dating, like, 18. And it wasn't because I was being strategic. I truly never wanted a boyfriend. And they always had the talk with me, like, okay, so it's been three months. What are we? And I'm like, what are we? What's her title? And then I was always like, I don't want a relationship. And then, yes, sure enough. And my friends were always like, they're in love with you. Da da. I'm like, well, I wasn't, like, trying. But then I look back over the.

Years, I'm like, and you figured it out.

Maybe we should write a book on this. Because the friends don't listen because their clock is ticking. Or they do want to lock it down, but then they're gonna stop having sex.

Right? But that's how you lock it down, is you pretend like you don't wanna lock it down.

Right? Cause I wasn't pretending. But we see that it works. You probably weren't either.

I didn't. It's something I learned dating single. It's not how I grew up. I thought, oh, you know, you meet someone, you fall in love, you get married. But being single in la, I've learned this. So it's not a beast.

Do you think it's different here or you think everywhere?

I think big cities are pretty much probably all the same. I think, you know, middle America, it's probably, listen, come over to my wheat farm and let's have some babies.

Right? They all my friends, I'm from Michigan, so all my friends, like, had kids at 25. They've been married for 20 years, like the whole thing.

But I think big cities, it's all pretty much the same.

It's true. Okay, so if you were to give me your top sex tip, what would it be?

Be my top sex tip?

Molly and marijuana.

That was actually a pretty good one. But my mom told me the marijuana one.

I raised the edge. I feel like things will happen a little bit more easily. You won't be afraid to say things if you, you know, medicate a little. I think my top sex for guys.

Maybe, like when they're doing something. Is there like. Or foreign oral sex on you maybe? Or foreplay?

I mean, I have so many things that I like, but I mean, I.

Think the top would you wish guys.

Knew maybe even I think that guys need to work at before at least 15 minutes of foreplay. I mean, like, there's no, like, let's just take it down. That's when you need the loop because you're not ready and it's gonna hurt. I feel like, get me hot, get me excited, you know, let's do something wrong. Let's do it from the window so your stupid neighbor might happen to see. But I do think if a guy's not good at oral or doesn't do oral, we can't be together.

I totally agree. You guys are we seriously, like. And I feel so like. Me too. Me too. But literally, like, this is everything I say. And I've been with guys. I don't. And it's okay because some guys don't like it and some Girls don't like it. Like, they should, though. They should be banned. No, I don't understand how I like it. But if a guy. And here's the thing. Don't do the, like, one minute.

No, because that's the point. It's like, no, you gotta spend a little bit.

You have to love the vagina. Learn to love it. No, I was like, I would. That's why I ended it. I was like. Because it was a few months and I realized I'm giving you freaking killer blowjobs, right? And you've never gone. I'm like, so, what's up? We were, like, having martinis one night, you know? And I was like. So, like, is it that you're like, maybe you're not sure what to do because I'm happy to talk about it, or you think I don't like it, or you're not into it? He's like, nah, it's just not my thing.

He's like, listen. And it's hygiene.

And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, you're. I'm like, oh, shit.

But that is a good thing to tell people. Girls, keep it clean. I'm telling you.

Do you, like, before you have sex? Every time, like, wash up.

I, like, have dental floss in my car. I'm very hygienic. It makes me crazy. But I think that those wipes are great.

Wipes are awesome.

Awesome. I think. Just always prepare because that's something that people don't tell their children. I know.

I didn't know.

Brush your teeth. Put your deodorant on. Don't clean out your labia before.

Right. Just like, the down under conference. Like, women like you sweat. You've been peeing all day. Yeah. You've been doing stuff. Toilet paper, the whole thing. Get it out.

I just think that that's important for women to really be aware of that.

Yes, I agree. That's a good one. That's a good one. Okay, Brandi, that's what we got time for. Awesome. I know. Wasn't this.

I know.

Is there any other questions you had?

I'm off the hook.

You're off the hook. Brandy. That wasn't too bad. Okay, so your books. People can. Is it all@brandyglanville.com? is that the easiest, or do you want me to buy your books? Tell me everything.

Go to brandyglanville.com. i have t shirts. I have my books. I actually have a new wine that's out on Thursday. It's called Unfiltered Blonde. It's a Chardonnay, and that's available on Unfiltered Blonde.com.

Congratulations.

Thank you. It will be in Bedmos and all the stores in May.

Oh, my God, I love this. It's just coming out this week.

Yes. We have our launch party on Thursday.

Very excited. That is so excited. Oh, my God, I want to come. I figured.

No fun. I like to drink. It's wine. Blonde.

I feel that's the best thing ever. And then check out her books, which are hilarious and great. And thank you for being here. And Menace. Thank you. But I have to say two things. First, which are very important for everyone to know that. Oh, May 12th. I'm doing a live podcast with Lynette Carolla. She's got a hilarious podcast. I love her. Cry out loud. I know. She's great. Oh, Menace. Yeah. I'll tell you a second, for crying out loud. I cut myself off. May 12 at Tinhorn Flats in Hollywood, 8pm Doors open at 6. And how do people find out about it? Madison, More info.

Oh, follow me on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram, which is all sex with Emily. That's so freaking easy. Also, we're looking for interns. Social media, marketing, production, super fun job. Feedbackexwithemily.com oh, and Menace, we're gonna be in Vegas next weekend together.

Yeah, we are. I totally forgot.

I'm going with Lynette. We're gonna party. There's something going on there. What?

Oh, yeah, she told me. It's Mangria. It's for Adam's wine.

Wait, are you gonna come to come?

But we have the same wine maker, so I was just with Lynette, and she's got, like, the Hard Rock's not gonna be carrying it, so they're having a party.

That's time to be there. Are you gonna go?

I really gonna try.

Okay, let's talk after. We're gonna go to Vegas. It's gonna be a party.

I'll try. I'll try to meet up. I'm there for the Rock and Rio music Festival.

Working.

I think Norm should give us a ride on this plane.

I do, too. I went on the podcast. It was so fun. We really need to go. I just. I'm like, oh, I love private place. Seriously. Like, I just.

It turns me on. That gets me just thinking about it.

Exactly. I just. I have to go play with my. Oh, my God.

Thank you. For my next.

I love it. Oh, sure. I hope you enjoy it. Really? I love it. Okay. Love you, Menace. Thank you. Thank you, Brandy. Thank you, Madison. Thank you for being here and thanks for listening to sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

And then. Okay. Am I still gonna do that?

These headphones hurt. I know.

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