Up the Heat or Get Out of the Kitchen
7 Dec 2025 · 30 min
In this episode of Sex with Emily, host Emily Morse is joined by co‑host Menace for a free‑wheeling conversation that blends sponsor promotions, personal anecdotes, and listener‑driven advice. The show opens with a giveaway for Bellesa’s silent‑vibration toys and a plug for the Spicy Subscriptions monthly sex‑toy box. Emily and Menace then chat about moving to Los Angeles, the quirks of West‑coast fast‑food chains, and a visit to the iconic Hustler Hollywood store, including a humorous story about a local accident controversy. The bulk of the episode consists of reading listener emails covering topics such as a 44‑year‑old’s discovery of masturbation and multiple orgasms, swinging etiquette, a pregnant friend‑with‑benefits dilemma, a young couple’s BDSM incompatibility, and a friend‑zone scenario. Emily offers candid, sex‑positive advice, emphasizing communication, experimentation with toys, and the importance of personal pleasure. The episode closes with additional sponsor reads (Down Under Comfort, Fleshlight) and a call for audience reviews and feedback.
Chapters
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Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the show. I love being able to help you have this sex life and relationships you deserve and want to give you the best show possible. So I appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep the show free. Okay, I know I talk a lot about sex toys on the show and you all email me, which one should I get? It can be overwhelming to choose if you go to the store. I mean, there's so much to choose from and you might be like me and you want to try everything. Luckily, there's a new home delivery service that wraps the sex shop in amazing packaging that's discreet and sends it straight to your door. Spicy Subscriptions is a monthly delivery box uniquely themed to help you improve your sex life. Complete with the latest, latest and greatest sex accessories like vibrators, lube, massage oils, and they're all picked out by relationship and sex experts so you know you're getting good stuff. Plus you get to try a new one each month. It's the perfect way to add that extra spark to the bedroom because every month you guys are so excited for the package. To come, and it's something new to try. And 80% of subscribers have noticed an improvement in their sex life. So imagine every month, you and your partner, it comes, you try something new, it's exciting, and your sex life changes. Boom. Just like you want it. But even if you're single, you would love these too, because you get the latest and greatest products. So check it out. Spicysubscriptions.com use coupon code EMILY and receive a free deluxe toy and 5% off your order. Or if you get a four to eight month subscription, you'll get a free deluxe toy and your first spice box for free. That's spicysubscriptions.com use code Emily. Go have some fun sex.
Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.
The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good.
Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
Hey, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sex with emily.com where you can check out our podcast, our mailing list, which you should do, because I send amazing emails that will help your sex life. And I don't spam you. And I'm here with Menace today. Hi, Menace.
Hello. How you doing?
What's going on?
I am here in wonderful Los Angeles with you, and it is sunny outside.
It's always sunny. I didn't have a jacket. I freaking love it.
I know my girlfriend's pissed because when we lived in San Francisco, she's really into this brand called All Saints. And now, like, so jackets at All Saints are expensive, you know, so she worked hard. She doesn't, you know, didn't make a ton of money. So she would spend her money on these jackets. They're like $700, right?
Cause it matters. Jackets.
You can never wear them now.
I know.
They just hang out in our closet.
I just cleaned out all my clothes. My winter. Like, I don't need. You don't need it. Yeah, but it took me a while living here till, like, I'd go on Dates. Or I'd go out there, like, why do you have a jacket and a scarf? I'm like, it could get cold, you know? Like, here it never gets cold. And you look at the weather. It's like 86, 83, 82. Like, every day, it's beautiful for the next week. So I'm very excited about that. I like Los Angeles.
I never get to go to the beach, though, because it's kind of far from where I'm at.
Right.
I go a lot lately.
I want to go.
It's good. Good. I'm gonna go this weekend. I'm just gonna, like, walk on the beach, run on the beach. It's healing for the soul.
There's this thing in. Because, you know, I'm all about food and somehow, maybe somehow gives me a sexual gratification. But Huntington beach, they're testing out this thing at Carl's Jr. Called the biz Nut. Now, the Biz Nut is a biscuit donut, and it's only available in America.
It is not a business.
Well, in Carl's. Carl's Jr. On the west coast is actually Hardee's on the East Coast.
Oh, right.
That's why I grew up the same.
I didn't know that.
Same company. You don't know that it has the same star.
They're the same. But I grew up with Hardee's. Yeah.
I don't know why. It's.
This is amazing. I think that Die now. Yeah. Like, that is fascinating.
Hardee's and Carl's Jr. Is the same thing.
I wondered why Carl's Jr. Just popped up out of nowhere when I moved here. I'm like, why have I never heard of Carl's Jr.
They have the same logo.
You're so smart when it comes to fast food.
Yeah, I know, right?
That's so hot. Yeah.
And they. They are based out of St. Louis, Missouri, just FYI. But anyways, they are testing out the Biz Nut. Huntington beach might. You know, it's like a Cronut.
It's a croissant donut. Have you heard of those? Cronuts. They're really big in New York.
I know. And they. They say it's not a ripoff because they're using biscuits, which they've already been making for years.
Yeah, okay.
But might go check that out and check out the beach. I did go to Santa Monica. Oh, and Molly Shannon was there with her kids. Yeah. She's comedian. She was an snl.
Right.
And she was there with her kids celebrating a birthday. That was kind of celebrity sighting.
No, no, you can't do that. That's fine. The beach isn't like I feel like my blood pressure goes down. Even if it's. Or my anxiety level. Like I just get to the beach and I can just like walk, bike for hours.
I love it.
And you know, I lived there when I first moved here.
Mm.
On the beach. But well, the thing is with, with.
California, even though it's sunny and it's a thousand degrees, the you go to the beach and the beach, the water is still freezing.
Yeah. You can't go in.
So I don't suggest that you travel across the United States, go to Hawaii or from anywhere around the world.
Right.
To go to California, you think, oh, it's gonna be this amazing experience and I'm gonna go surfing, I'm gonna go jump in the water. That's not gonna happen. So let's save you a lot of money and time and you know, come to la. Yeah, come to la.
But you might not go swimming, but you can also you can rent a wetsuit Boardwalk. But if you do come to la, I gotta say that you do need to check out the Hustler Hollywood store. Which it blew my mind. We went in there, we had a little field trip there because it's this legendary store. It's been there forever. It's on, it's on Sunset Boulevard. And you know, I've been to every friggin sex toy store on the planet. But I just think it's so, it's massive and there's parking and there's like amazing lingerie and like things I would actually like buy and jewelry and they're every sex toy I've ever heard of and not heard of is there. They've got a little cafe, it's like a fun date night spot. You should go there. But the funny thing about Hustler is I went, oh. And I'm teaching a workshop there August 16, 8 to 10pm it's called How to Blow His Mind in bed. You can RSVP, go to my sexwithemily.com page website, click on the hustler banner and RSVP. But this is what I want to tell you. Is this the freaking funniest thing? So Hustler had a store opening. They open, they have stores in different cities and they had one in Oklahoma City that just opened, opened a few weeks ago. So listen to this. The racy Hotstar store display blamed for eight accidents in two weeks in Oklahoma City. Yeah. One man said he was involved in a Fender Bender near the store because. And he contacted local TV to complain about the distracting displays. And he wrote, we both drivers agreed that it was to cause a lot of accidents. So. A Hustler spokesperson denied there's anything overly provocative about the mannequins and described the display as tasteful and decent. Eight accidents. Do they just not get enough sacks in Oklahoma City?
They probably.
It's really not racy. There's just like a mannequin there. She's fully clothed, wearing a bikini, probably.
In Oklahoma, they don't have.
They don't.
They don't have billboards like that.
Look at this. They're wearing jeans and a T shirt.
Oh, God.
People.
People just.
People are just making up stuff. Well, if you go to their store, Tom sexually only sent you, and you get 20% off.
I mean, if you don't know anything about hustling.
That's true.
I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you right now why you should. You should support Hustler. You should watch a movie called the People versus Larry Flynt. And you'll. You'll become a fan.
Yeah.
Of the company.
It's true.
And it just. Because what Larry Flynn has done, it's just incredible. In his. In his life.
Right. He started. Nothing like. No, he started the.
But he, like gets. He got deep into politics and he made a lot of people mad. The reason he's in a wheelchair is because somebody tried to kill him.
Right.
And he got shot and paralyzed. You gotta understand the story behind the company, because you might just see the logo and you're like, ah, you know, who cares about. You know.
Yeah. It seems so dirty. Whatever people think. But it's amazing story.
Yeah. Check it out with.
What's his face started in it. Woody Harrelson. Didn't he play?
Yeah, Woody Harrelson played.
That was a great movie. Yeah.
In what's her name? Courtney Love.
Corny Love. Are you impressed when I know things?
I know, right? Corny Love. Yes. So, yeah, definitely check out the movie. You'll enjoy it. Sit down.
Check out the store. Yeah.
And then check out my store.
So if you come to la, don't go to the beach. Go to the Hustler store.
Yeah. Then you'll see why you want to get products from Hustler.
Exactly. That's a good menace. I love you. I love you now. Okay. I always loved you. But we're going to be reading.
You did not love me. You told me to F off.
I know. I was having a rough day. So this show we're going to be reading the emails because people are just going crazy sending me emails. Feedbackextmy.com and as you know, I read them all. I love hearing from everybody. And we just want to help people have better sex and relationships.
Yeah, and today's gonna be a short show because we're just gonna read emails.
Exactly. So this is about pushing the boundaries of your relationship. These emails all sort of had to do with that subject. So this first email is all about that. So I'm 44 and only just discovered masturbation and had my first orgasm. I was with someone for 15 years and our sexual relationship was very one. He never tried to please me and I never knew what I was missing out on. I just thought that I didn't enjoy sex and was uneducated about female orgasms. I recently found a vibrator, the Jimmy Jane form too, that makes me feel amazing within minutes every time. I'm not sure how many orgasms I have in a session, but I go on for 45 minutes sometimes and keep feeling waves of pleasure. My body twitches and pulsates and I just feel like I never want to stop feeling so blissful. I also squirt a lot through clitoral stimulation, yet I've never touched my G spot. I also discovered that I orgasm even stronger with an anal glass dildo pumping in addition to my vibrator on my clit. I even like double penetration. Am I having G spot orgasms or multiple orgasms? Emily, All I want to do is be alone. I'm nervous about being with a man. How is he going to react about my toys? Is it okay to be so attached to my sex toys? Signed Angela. Wow, Angela, What a story. 44 and just discovered masturbation with someone for 15 years didn't give a damn about her goddamn orgasm.
You got to forward me that email because I got to show it to people. They're not gonna believe it's real.
It's totally real. I mean, okay. Wow, Angela. Well, we can give her. I'm proud of you. Like, wow. She's like, squirting and using an anal butt dildo. I mean, good for you, honey.
There's a fish inside.
You need to make up for lost time. I am so. What'd you say? A fish. A fish swimming around.
You know, like back in the day, like disco shoes.
So cool.
They had fish, like, swimming around in the. In the platforms.
I'd like to be analy penetrated by a glass dogo with a goldfish named Jaws.
Your next product you need.
I Feel bad for fish. But if you vigorously are using it and the fish dies, the fish won't.
Die in the water. And then you pour the fish back out.
Okay, so, Angela. Okay, 44, listen to me. First of all, you probably are having G spot and multiples. If you are having it through anal penetration and your. Because a lot of times, you know, yes, there's a G spot, yes, there's a clitoris, but they're connected. All the vaginal wall tissues are connected. And so sometimes if you're putting pressure on your clitoris, like above your pubic bone, that will stimulate your G spot. And that's why you're squirting. So I would say you're having them all. So I want to give you another round of applause. Good for you. And here's the thing. There are so many guys that are going to be totally down with your sex toys. And if they're not, they're not the guy for you. Because even if they've never tried it and they're still living in the. The dark ages and think sex toys are gonna replace them, they're insane. But most guys, even if they feel that way and they try it, they're like, wow, because he can use the toys on you. And a lot of guys, you know, find that very, very erotic and hot, and it turns them on. Plus, you can use the vibrators on his penis, on his balls. Men like vibrations, too. They just don't know it. So you gotta show them. And I'm telling you, guys that I've introduced toys to are like, hey, so when you come over, can you bring that toy with the they give me request? Also, it cuts down on their time that they have to spend pleasing you. Plus, they know that you're being pleased, and they know that you're having orgasms, and they're in control if they're using the toys on you. So I just don't understand guys who have a beef with toys still. Because it's freaking saving your life. Seriously, you know how much more time you'll have in Life? You spend 40 minutes going down on her and use a vibrator for 10 minutes. Not that she doesn't want you to perform oral sex on her, but she could still have an orgasm when you bring in the vibrator as, like, your backup. It's awesome. Or just as your main event. So don't worry, Angela. I think keep going through this. You and the Jimmy Jane Forbe 2 is a great vibrator. We all love that one in the office. We used to work with them years ago and they sent it. Everyone's always like, I love the form too. So good for you, Angela. Don't worry about it. I understand you're nervous. You were in a relationship for 15 years. But just go out there and be yourself. Now you're a grown woman.
And squirting is like the new anal.
Exactly. Squirting is the new anal.
Right now.
I was just saying that to someone. They said, what's the trend? I said, squirting is the new analysis. How'd you know that?
We're just on the same level.
We're so squirting it. So when I started this, I always say anal's the new blow job.
Yeah.
For years I said that anal's the new blow job. But recently I feel there's been a switch that. Yes, anal. But everyone wants to know about squirting. It's because of porn, right? I think. And yes, we've done tons of shows on it. But you can learn to squirt.
Don't you have the new goggle accessory on sexwithemily.com or something?
No. I should have a goggle, right? For men, yeah. No, but you can learn to squirt. Play with your G spot. Listen to the last show we did on it. I don't know if you want to, but here's the thing about squirting.
It's.
Just because you squirt doesn't mean that you're necessarily having an orgasm, FYI. But if it feels good, it could be cool.
Shouldn't it be only done in like pools?
Then you wouldn't know that you squirted or.
I mean, do you get rubber sheets or what? You know, I'm always concerned about cleaning.
Up, so friggin the cleanliness thing. Dude, that's so anal or not anal, but you should put a towel down. A few towels down. Yeah, or rubber sheets. Slip and slide.
Slip and slide would be great.
Yeah. Do you remember slip and slide? Did you parents?
Yeah. I love slip and slide.
They were so fun. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm an inexperienced swinger and I've been for some time. But recently I met a nice girl who I vowed to myself I would not introduce to swinging. She said she wants to know all about me and that she wants to visit a swingers club. She said she thinks she wants to become a swinger and share the lifestyle with me. What do you think? Should I introduce this sweet girl to swinging? Thanks, Billy. Wow, Billy, if it's your lifestyle and you're into a New girl, why don't you want to do sort of swinging? Because you know that you're a swinger and you're gonna want to do that anyway. I say if you've just been dating her, bring her to the party and see how she feels, you know?
No, I say don't do it if you're really into her.
But he's swinging. Yeah.
No, he said that he would not introduce her into.
But then he's gonna. Stupid. She's gonna want a commitment.
Time and like, oh, wait a minute. I don't like you.
Yeah, but then he finds out. Because, Billy, you're not giving up swinging. So three months from now, when you start swinging, she doesn't. She's your. She wants to be a girl. You're committed. I think this is in your blood. But if you're telling me that you don't want to be a swinger, Billy, and you want to change over and not be a swinger, well, then you don't have to introduce her. But if that's still your lifestyle, you should take her to party. You can go to these swing parties. She doesn't have to do anything. Single women can go. There's couples you bring. You know, I've gone to these parties before. I've done my swinging things and you hook up with a couple or not.
Don't you have a story where you dress in all gold and went to a swingers party?
Yeah, I actually dressed like a fairy. It was like Enchanted Forest thing, and I had, like, wings, and I was like, a fairy.
And how many people were there? Is it all, like, couple hundred?
It was in San Francisco. It was a huge, massive house in Marin County Fair. Three stories. Every story had, like, hot tubs and rooms, and it was beautiful. And people. It was like the Beautiful People Swingers party. They said it was my first one with Captain Erotica.
Remember him?
Yeah.
Years ago. And it was hot. I hooked up with a chick. I, like, made out with her, touched her boobs. Do you remember the story? I probably didn't reveal this.
I didn't know.
Now it's been eight years, so I'm like, I don't care.
Yeah, no, not the making out with the chick. You just said that you went there.
I know, because then I didn't want to say it, but now I don't.
You're like, whatever.
Yeah, I like, hooked up with some chicken, touched her boobs. She had fake boobs. She was stripper. Okay.
And why is it you mentioned our stripper, you mentioned Captain Erotica. And I want to ask this guy who's in email, in the email, why every single swinger dude, like, has to have a ponytail and wear, like, leather pants like Captain Erotica.
He did.
He wore freaking, like, snakeskin.
He was different. He was a superhero. What? He. He would fly in on a single bound and save people's relationships and sleep with men's wives to show them how to have sex.
Really? I mean. Oh, he's doing the Lord's work.
He is doing the Lord's work. God bless Catherine Erotica. But. But yes, Menace believes that all swingers are ponytails.
Let me sleep with your wife to show you how to have sex.
Menace believes that all swingers are ponytails, which they do. Okay.
And they wear leather pants.
Email me, do you have a ponytail, please? Just say you don't or go get it cut and take a picture yourself.
And do you wear leather pants?
Just because he's the only swinger that you met does not mean that every swinger is. Looks like Captain Erotica. Yeah, check out my old Pat. We should post the old shows. We got to figure what to do with them because that one's not online anymore. Like 2000. A thousand online.
It's crazy. Oh, speaking about online.
Prolific. Yeah.
Sorry to interrupt, but people, if you're listening to this, can you do me a favor? Can you go to itunes, type in Sex with Emily and just write a review?
You're so right.
Because I've been. I went there just recently because I haven't gone there in forever, and there's a bunch of old reviews. And I know at a. At a time. At a time where we were desperate to keep the show going that you were charging people to. We did a subscription based show.
Right.
And at that time, there was a. There was a lot of reviews that weren't too pleasant.
Yeah.
And it hurts Emily's heart.
It does hurt me. And I have to tell you that I don't really look at it, but I went there recently. I saw that too, and it helps so much if you guys like the show and. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's just for Emily's sake, just go there and write a review.
Because I've never. It took me a really long time to figure out how to make a living, so I thought, I'll charge for the show dollar a month or whatever it was, and it just didn't work.
Yeah.
And people got pissed.
They got pissed and they wrote reviews.
That's why you got to put up with my ad reads. They're like a Minute long. Yeah.
You can say whatever you want about me. It doesn't hurt me at this. You know, I'm used to it by now. But, Emily, it really.
That's nice. I never asked people to do that, but I would so appreciate people to do that. I mean, I mean, give me five stars. Tell me.
Yeah, you know just what I mean.
Whatever you want. If you hate me, you can do that too. But then don't listen anymore. You hate me. Why are you listening?
Just go. I mean, that's what we do every day on the morning show that I do like. If you don't like the show, just go. There's a hundred radio stations. Go find another one.
Exactly.
You know, Right.
If you don't like my podcast, don't be angry all about it because I'm trying to make my living doing this and listen to the other one.
And if you enjoy it, great. We love you and we're gonna do anything for you to keep you happy and to keep on.
Right. And I do want to keep you happy. So if you ever want to email me, like, your thoughts or your questions, if you've been listening, like, I have a lot of longtime listeners and, and I know you some of your questions, but if anything that you like about the show, what you topics you'd like to hear, things you'd like to change or things you'd like to come back from, past episodes. I don't know what. I just want to hear the specifics. Break it down. Break it down. Feedbackexamily.com okay, next question. Will an FWB, also known as Friends with Benefit, ever become a relationship? Hi, Emily. I want to ask you about something that's going on with me in a Friends with Benefit situation. I'm wondering if my flirtationship. Flirtationship will ever become a relationship. So there's this guy I met a month and a half ago. The first day we met, we had sex, we text on a daily basis, we flirt like crazy, and he really makes me smile. He's admitted that he has feelings for me, and I told him that I had feelings for him, but he doesn't think it will work because I'm pregnant with my ex's baby.
Oh. It might not, you know, be an easy one.
Okay, honey. We have met three times and had sex twice. We even cuddled all night long. He doesn't seem very open when I asked him questions about whether or not I was good in bed, etc. But he has mentioned he wants to have sex again, so I couldn't be that bad. How do I know how he feels about me? And if this flirtation is ever going to become something more. Thanks. Tiffany. Tiffany, you've got some larger fish to fry than this guy that you slept with or whatever, blah, blah, blah. He's not calling you. You have a baby coming. So I assume you're having this baby and keeping this baby, and that's what I'd be worried about, I'd be focusing on right now is your health and making sure that you're in good shape and you can support this child. You don't say how old you are. I have a feeling that your early 20s maybe, and guys in their early 20s, they're gonna want to sleep with you. He's gonna want to keep sleeping with you. And I'm not sure this is gonna turn into a relationship because if you're having a baby and all this stuff is happening, you know, yeah, you could fall in love, but I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about this guy. He doesn't tell you how great he is that you are in bed. I'm sure you're fine. A lot of guys don't even know how to talk about it. But I would just right now try not to get into, even to a relationship. I try to focus on your mental well being and getting all your cards in order.
Yeah, I mean, if. I totally think that you should focus on that and then, I mean, if the guy is gonna stick around through that, then cool. If not, then yeah.
I mean, it doesn't sound like it.
I don't know if you know this, but you're gonna have the kid for a really long time. So you're gonna have to find out if this person that you want to be with can even deal with that.
Exactly. So have you. Does he know you're pregnant? I mean, I'm sure. Yeah. See about that, that would be something that I would find out about him. But you know, we get into God, we meet someone, we get excited.
So.
Okay, quick, quick read here from our sponsor. Oh, my God, Menace, you'll appreciate this. So down under comfort. When I was in New York a few weeks ago, and you know, it's. We talk about down under comfort, you use it and men and women can use it anywhere you sweat. Well, what happens is, you know, it started out, we talked about men's balls, that women can use it between their legs, lower breasts, beneath their lower back. And there's not a lot of humidity in California, but when I was in New York, it was like 90 degrees and I was dripping sweat from every orifice of my body. And then I used them in the morning the second day I was there and I did not sweat at all. It is a miracle formula, which is why we already sold out of it. It's for men and women anywhere in your body. And poor hygiene is the number one complaint about sex for men and women. And the weather is getting hotter, so your balls and your breasts and your whole body, they're sweatier. So check out Down Under Comfort. Most people never think they need a product like this until they try it and then they can't live without it. So go to emilyandtoni.com, use code EMILY and you get 20% off down under Comfort. Love it, love it. Love the down under comfort. Okay, so we have time for another email. How do you feel about that?
Go for it.
Okay, so it's just long. So. Hi Emily. First of all, I love what you're doing and I love all the companies that sponsor you. It's so awesome that you connect with interesting companies rather than just whoever will pay them most. You are right. I am female and 19 years old. My boyfriend is 18 and we've been together for a year and a half. I've always been a very physical and sexual person where he is not. I think a lot about his hang ups come from his family and religion. He's now an atheist, but he still has a lot of stigmas ingrained from childhood. I'm into just about everything that doesn't leave permanent damage and I'm always willing to try something before saying no to it. For instance, a little BDSM play is something nice and refreshing for me, but not when I have to constantly remind him that I like it. Do you have any suggestions to help me become sexually free? He doesn't like the idea of me talking to you about sex or things I enjoy. And so I've stopped going into the city to meet up with like minded people or even just to talk and hang out. I know I could go and he wouldn't stop me, but he'd get more depressed than he already is. I know we're almost two different people to be together and everyone tells me I should just leave him, but I don't. Want to. Please reply with any and all advice to help me save my relationship. I don't think it's possible to save it for the long run, but I don't want to end it for good yet. Thanks so much for your time and advice you give. I'm traveling now alone. But you've reminded me of all the ways I want to re energize my toy collection and will definitely buy some Emily and Tony candles. Thank you, Phoebe. Phoebe, you are 18. You're 19 years old. Your boyfriend's 18, and the writing's on the wall. This guy is not your guy. For you, you are a young girl. You woman, you want to go in the city. You want to be with your friends. You're sexually open, you're adventurous. He's got hang ups from childhood. You do not want to start cutting. You cutting off your sexual pleasure at this point in your life. And you know it's gonna end, but you're not ready. It's because maybe he's your first love. You know, young love. It's like you think you're never gonna meet anyone again, but the fact that you're already having these sexual issues with him and it just sounds like you've got. You can't convince him to be into bdsm. You can't convince him to be more into sex. You can't convince him to open up. Especially if he grew up in a very religious home where, you know, masturbation was wrong and sex was wrong. I mean, I dated something like that for a while. And it's just either unless you get intense therapy and you get rid of all that stuff, you're not going to be the one to do it. And I don't like a guy telling you what you can and cannot do. I don't like that he doesn't want you go in the city. I don't like that he doesn't want to talk about sex. I mean, all this stuff is totally like what you're into and what you're down with. So the second someone's trying to change you from who you are at your core, he's not your guy. But I get that you're saying you don't want to end it yet. I mean, I don't know what to tell you because I know you're probably not gonna listen. People don't let girls ask for advice. A lot of times women never listen. I would say if you're gonna stay with them, push the boundaries with them and say, listen, dude, I. I want to try this, I want to try that, I want to try what? I mean, try to push it, ask for what you want and then see what happens. Because if you're just placating and staying with him because he's a great cuddler or provider in some way, you're Too young to stick around in a dead end relationship that's not getting. You're not getting met, your needs met. I know it's hard though because like you always want to.
You know, like on Loveline we get a lot of callers too. And I always want to be like, you're 19, you're 20. You can't just say to people because I get it, I've been there and I've been in love at that age. But really it's the time to figure, you shouldn't get married for your 30, so go have fun.
So many people ask for advice, but they just kind of. They ask for advice because they just want to vet their problems, not because they're actually going to do anything.
That's true too, but I'm so frustrated. Yeah, I know it is frustrating, but sometimes people and a lot of girlfriends, you tell you have the same. I'm like, really? We've had this talk six times. Unless something's going to change and you're gonna break up with them, like, I have nothing I'll say to you, you know? Yeah, they just want to talk about it again. Okay, two, time for one more. Okay. Hey, Emily, just got, just started listening to your podcast. I enjoy it. So my question has to do with the friend zone. I met this hot girl a few months back at the train station. Finally got her number and our first date was on Valentine's Day. Great time, everything went well and I got a kiss goodnight. Ever since then, she's been distant and flaky throughout the past four months. We text once a week. We've probably been out with each other six or seven times, but I cannot get her to kiss me again. Should I contact her again to go out this time and make my intentions clear? She's a tough Polish woman, so I kind of like the challenge. Let me know if it's time to walk away. Psy Anonymous.
Yeah, she's being flaky with you. I would say if you go out with her again, just grab her and kiss her. And if she says no, then you don't want to, you don't want to hang out with her unless you really just want to be friends with her. But you have to make your intentions known. I don't know how you've gone out with her six, seven times and haven't kissed her if you kissed her on the first date. So either you go with her again and you're like, I think you're hot, I want and just grab her and kiss her. Don't Even ask or look for new friends that you don't want to sleep with.
Easy, easy.
Done. Over and out. Okay, Menace, I love you.
I love you.
Good to see you.
It's great to have you.
Everyone follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily and Menace is menace.
Yeah. M E N A C E. And then on Twitter it's just Menace. M E N A C E. And I love when I get tweets from people that listen to the podcast.
Me too.
So just tweet like, hey, I'm listening. Doesn't you know? Yeah, I just, I like it too.
It makes me feel good. And I like when you all comment on specific episodes. Like people love this one we did a few weeks ago on Addiction and love and they're like, loved the show. It's like, tell me what you like. I want to know because I work hard to make sure that you are always enjoying the show. So tweet it out. Email. Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.
Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the show. I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. And thanks for supporting our sponsors. So Fleshlight, the number one sex toy for men. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner? The Fleshlight is the most popular sex toy for men and it simulates the sensations of actually having sex. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal and many people think it's even better than sex. Not that you won't want sex again, but the Fleshlight stamina training you. It helps you practice in lasting longer and becoming a better lover. And you'll experience some of those mind blowing orgasms of your life. And if you ever fantasize about having sex with your favorite porn star, you can do that too. They probably have a mold of their vagina made like a Fleshlight. Janet Jameson, Jessica Drake, all these people. So Terra Patrick. They're realistic flesh tone color with popular lotus textures. And they got Fleshlight girls and all that stuff. Go to sexemily.com Fleshlight that's sexwithemily.com Fleshlight check it out. You will thank me. You will love it.
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