V-Day Done Right: A Guide

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r a so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and on today's show, I'm joined by my trusty team to give you all some Valentine's Day gift and date ideas. You know, so you don't have to do all the hard work yourself. Topics include gift ideas, from the romantic to the pleasurable. Games for some adult kind of play, you know what I mean? Nothing says I love you quite like a DIY idea. See some of our lovely favorites and date ideas that are more than just a dinner and an overcrowded restaurant. All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com you're gonna love our site. A lot of great blogs on there to help you on this sex journey and also find us on all social media. It is so Sex with Emily. Across the board, intentions with Emily. So what I've started doing this year is I just want to set an intention for each show and I encourage you to do the same. So what I mean is, when you're listening, like right now, just think, like, what do I want to get out of listening to this episode? You know, how could it help you? It might be, oh, Emily, I love your team and I love the review shows. That's fine. You know, your team always gives me an idea. Great. Or it could be. I want to make sure I do Valentine's Day right this year to show my partner how much they mean to me. My intention for the show is to give you all some ideas that will not only surprise your partner, but help you have a truly like, romantic, sexy, and pleasure filled Valentine's Day without the stress. God, we don't want it to be stressful. All right, guys, enjoy the show. All right, everyone, it's almost Valentine's Day. You know, it's coming February. You go into the stores, there's all the candies, the hearts, they're already in there. I think since Thanksgiving, they start doing Valentine's Day, right?

Seriously, like after Christmas, it was all these like Santa hats and everything. And yeah, the next day I go to the CVS by my house and there is Valentine's Day candy and stuff out. And I was like, holy crap.

Like, no, no, wait, no pause. They just want you to buy a lot of chocolate and a lot of cards. I get it. But we also want you guys to be prepared for Valentine's Day whether you're in a relationship or not. We are focusing on this show. We have a few shows coming out. So this one we are going to talk about for couples. Some ideas, some good gifts, things you could do. Diy. Because here's the thing, you can't ignore it. They've been talking about Valentine's Day forever. It's coming up. You want to prepared and I want you all to have a fabulous Valentine's Day. So don't be caught with your pants down. Unless you want your pants down for Valentine's Day.

Unprepared. Okay, so first let's talk about some of the sex toys that we believe would make in sex sex kits that would make a great gift. What I'm thrilled about to start with is Jew, which is a Fabulous company. They're actually one of the first brands. One of the first toys I ever tried was the Mimi, which I love. And they have a couples kit which I was so friggin excited they did this because you get a few of their products in one and it's great for couples. There's something for both of you. So I love this G Spot Volvibe just because I was just very. I was like pleasantly surprised by the fact that it actually is such a multi use toy that it was great for internal, great for, you know, external. And I just love their packaging. I love the way it feels. What about you guys, have you tried?

I actually just tried.

This is a Lisa. You did? Okay, tell me.

Because that was the toy that I picked out at the convention.

Okay.

Yeah. And I used it and it was great. Like I just love the fact that it's smaller because I. I don't know. Unless I'm having sex with my partner, I don't usually like want to put something bigger in me.

Right.

But that's a personal preference. But I think a lot of people feel that way.

Right? Exactly.

Yeah. And it's the.

Like how it feels on the outside. The just the silicone is really great and soft.

Yeah, it's very, it's a very special. They have a special formula of silicone.

And it's like if you pull that out and a guy that you're with or a partner is like, was like, oh my God, I'm so nervous about toys. And you were to pull that out to be like, oh, oh, okay.

It's like a magic marker or something.

Yeah, it's like, it's like maybe like two and a half, three inches long. It's really small. And like that's the thing too. It's like, by the way, your penis doesn't need to be big. Like this in this pleases me. And it's tiny.

Tiny because also remember that the G spot is just, or whatever it is, internal claral nerves that people all talk about is about just an inch and a half, two inches inside. So. And it's more about applying pressure than it is about your penis. So.

Exactly.

For many people, for many vagina owners, this I think will do it. I think it's a really special product. I'm excited about it. And then in the couples kit, you also get a MIO vibrating penis ring. So for the penises out there, this one feels amazing. It's one size fits all. There's a large like clitoral external stimulator on the Top. So if you are having sex with a vagina owner and you're both having penetrative sex, it can feel amazing because it hits all the spots. Like, I'm a huge fan of penis rings. The other thing is, it's great because. Because you don't. You can also use it as a clitoral vibe. Like I have them, they send them to me, I try them. I'm like, I don't have a penis around, but I'm gonna try this. I remember one time I on vacation with someone, I think it was a guy, probably was because I had a penis ring and I. And I was like, oh, I don't have another clitoral toy handy or charge. And I use it and it's just as great for that. So remember, there's like multi use to these things. You can even put your fingers inside of it and use it to like tease your partner. You know, kind of like hold it that way, like around the middle so it's. It's really cool. But it does feel great on the penis. Vibrations feel good everywhere. Remember, they're not just exclusive for vaginas. Penises like them.

Yeah. And I just think it's fun. Most people think that many sex toys and pleasure products, it's like, it's just to enhance like the people with vaginas pleasure. Whereas penis people, you get stuff too. It comes together. So that way it's like it ha. Comes together. Didn't even begin.

Yes, you could come together with this thing. If you want to come together. No press. But it is a great way to try. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Sometimes we just need the vibration and stop feeling guilty about it. If you do, it doesn't mean that you're wrong or you're faulty or you're broken. I mean, the majority of women are going to need a little something extra. No matter how fab a penis is, you're gonna need some vibrations. There's no shame in that at all. And it's funny, I had a friend staying with me this weekend and she's. She's like. I've noticed lately that I just. I can. I really need more stimulation, more sensation. And you know, she's in her like late 40s now and she's just like, I feel like I need. And she was like kind of feeling bad that she did because she was always able to orgasm just with a mouth, sometimes with a penis. I'm like, that is so typical. And okay. Like she feels. We feel apologetic if we have to you know, I almost think of it like gear for working out. Like, I remember this, like, right, Like I remember going to. Okay, this was like 20 years ago. I was in Malaysia backpacking and I hired this, this local guy to take me up this volcano. Right? To hike it up a volcano. And I had all of my western gear. I had my hiking boots, I had like my Patagonia Jack get to weather the storm and the wind when you get to the top, all these things. And he hiked up this mountain. It was like a 10 hour hike in flip flops. And we both got to the top of the mountain. I had some extra gear that made it more comfortable. Like I, I feel like I didn't need all the gear I had. I'm like, I guess I could do it in flip flop. So I'm just saying we both got to the top of the mountain. That's your, that's your equivalent of if you're going to have an orgasm and you're going to feel good there, it doesn't matter how you get there. And I think believing that it only has to be with a penis. And that is the dev or someone's hand or their mouth. It's just a extra something something. It's like a little extra fun, I don't know, analogy.

It really is. No, because it's like, of course. Yeah, I don't need running shoes. I don't need like a camelback. I don't need. But wouldn't it be amazing if I did?

Yeah, I think I had my camelback as well. You're right. Yeah, exactly right. But you have it because we make, it's like technology. Did we need computers? Do we need phones? I mean now you know. No, but you guys just makes our lives a little bit easier. And I promise you, if you haven't tried toy, you still feel shame about it, just call me.

You get this present and if you're not around each other, you don't need to be like, oh, I need to be with this person to use it. Because you each have your own.

Right. Exactly. Fun for everyone. Or you could do a mutual masturbation sesh, which is one of my favorite things to do.

Yes. I can't wait to do that with my new partner.

Oh, it would be fun.

Yeah.

You have so much to do. Jamie's got a new partner. I know all of your things. With someone who's like willing, it seems like ready and willing.

He just wants to like do anything that will make me feel great. And that is just very nice.

That is so nice.

Very attentive.

I love this.

Me too.

I know. We love it. Okay, so that is the JJU couples kit. That is a new. A new kit they put together. So I love that. I love it. Check it out. Okay, then we have our latest date night box. This is the sex with Emily date night box. And this one, this one is called Getting warmed up. And we have for a year. So they're quarterly boxes. And this one I'm obsessed with. This one comes with the we vibe touch. It's a great clitoral vibe. I would say that. That this is one of my standards. So it's charged. It's always ready to go. It feels. It's great for couples play too. You could use. It's really. It fits nicely in the palm of your hand and has just excellent sensations and vibrations. So that comes in the buck. That's one thing. But then you have massage crystal massage oil from Exons. And Exons makes really cool body products. They make like that tingling lip balm.

Oh, I love those.

I know. They make really great things. So this mass door is really. Is really great. And then there's a candle. Little sex with Emily candle. And then there's melting rose petals for the bath.

Oh, so you can really make like. I can just picturing this right now, Valentine's Day. Especially if you're in a cold ass place like the Midwest.

Yes.

Feel for you out there.

You warm. You write the candles, you draw a bath. You have the rose petals in it. And then afterwards, you can massage each other with this mass massage oil.

Yeah. I mean, you guys, listen, Valentine's Day should be about bringing the romance. Do something sexy. I understand. Like maybe you want dinners and flowers and all that stuff, but really, if you have been wanting to connect to your partner, you've been wanting to have the conversation about sex. Try something new. Like Valentine's Day is literally sitting there in front of you saying, tonight, do it. Try me. It's a day of love and a day of sex. So that's not all that comes in this. We have the foria intimacy. There's a packet of the fore intimacy, which is the CBD pre lube. And then there's more lube. This is awesome. They have the muse lube packet, so you get to try the flavored lubes. All the ones that we talk about that are great for oral sex. Then they have uber lube. It has a screaming O stroker. Great for penises. It's a little something different.

Nice.

I know.

And I like this one because it's open ended.

Yeah, it's an open ended stroker. So like you put wrap it around your penis and has little nubs on the inside that just kind of feel a little bit different. So you could add the lube to the stroker. Give a killer hand job on Valentine's Day. Have you not done that since middle school? It's time. Bring back the hand job.

Maybe you ate dinner already and you ate a bunch of oniony things. You brushed your teeth. It's still coming through. You don't want to use your mouth. Just hand job it up.

Seriously. I'm telling you guys, get some of these tools if you're not in the mood. You could sit there with one hand, please your partner. You don't have to use all these in one night. What I love about this is you can mix and match and use this not just for Valentine's Day, but, you know, so many nights until the next box comes. And then it also comes with lucky sex scratchers. So it's sort of like a fun little sex lottery game.

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, you get to like scrape off and then it tells you, you know what to do, how to play with each other. So that is fun. There's your Valentine's Day right there. So that is sex Emily box, straight up.

Oh, my God.

You get that at our site? Yeah, sexwithemily.com box.

Yeah. I mean, I just think, why not? Especially if you're not good at this stuff, which me, I don't feel like I'm very romantic. I come up with sex stuff, so that's different. But like, but not in this way. I would not on my own.

Romance, job, bath.

Yes. Never in my life. So I'm just like, thank God someone did it for me.

Well, that's the thing. And that's what people are loving, the boxes. And we've only had this box with Good Vibrations for a little over a year. And. And we've had so many people are like, thank you. You know, I appreciate it because it comes in the mail and every, you know, few months, you're like, oh, you know, you get a great toy and you get all these other things to play with. So is again, I'm all about helping you guys become better communicators in your relationship. You can get your needs met. So if you listen to this podcast together and that helps stimulate the conversation. If you get a box filled with sexy products, you know, four times a year, and that helps. Amazing. So that's why, you know, and it comes with a little card in it explaining how to use everything and gives you different scenarios. And if you've listened to this show, you know, we talk about all these sexy things to do as well. You know, how to give a massage and how to tease. I think what I like about this box as well is for so many of you, I think the tease for everybody is really hot. I think just jumping right into the, you know, pounding away sex is, is something that you could do any night of the year. Hopefully you don't. But not hopefully you do it less than you actually are just moving forward and pounding away. But this is a build up into sex. So maybe you massage, take a bath, then massage, then you know, play with all of these things and there's your sexy night. And remember, the more turned on we are, it takes time. Like I say, women are slow cookers, men are frying pans. So if you can us, you know, build up the tension and play with each other and then you know, you know you're gonna have sex. I think that's super hot. Hot.

I like it.

Alright, so then the next thing is the lioness. This is a great gift for your partner. This is all like this crazy sex tech stuff that's happening right now. It's super exciting. What is happening? So what the lioness is, it helps you learn more about orgasms either for yourself or for your partner. So what it is, it's, it is a great rabbit style vibrator meaning it has an external little prong on it, it for external stimulation and it goes inside. But it has these sensors that are wrapped around it that you pair with an app. It is so cool. We've tried it. It's like you, you, oh my God, of course we try it. I don't tell you guys about anything that I actually have not tried. So you put it inside and it, it tells you what kind of orgasm you have because it identifies a few different types of orgasms. So I use it three times and I could tell that there was, it was the ocean wave, volcano of volcano, ocean wave. And then there's like a volcano meaning like an intense explosion. And then you get to mark and then you get to learn about your orgasmic pattern. So it's really just a great way for you to learn about what really works for you. Like you can see how long it takes to orgasm where your spikes in pleasure are. You can also add notes to it. So maybe you had wine that night, maybe you had a full stomach, maybe you were watching porn leading up to this orgasm, like, what was happening. So then you can learn to track and understand your orgasmic experience, then share that with a partner.

Well, that. Because I feel this is a issue that people are emailing in about all the time. I can't orgasm with my partner. I can orgasm with a toy or this or that. But you also. I never keep, like, I don't have a masturbation journal, so I'm not like, oh, like, these are all the elements that went into this. Because, like, I get chronic migraine, so my doctor's always like, write down what you do during the day and, like, what you had to eat and what the temperature was like and all this stuff. So you can identify your triggers. But I never would think to do that for orgasms or pleasure.

Such a good point. Yeah. Why not? If we want to become better at anything, we want to get to the bottom of something, and we want to understand how it works for us. You got to put a little time into it. So I, you know, tracking it and writing it down. I mean, you guys, I was. When I came into this job, I was not having the kind of orgasms I have now. Like, it's something that you have to work at. You have to educate yourself. You have to, like, try out different things. And so if you're somebody who needs to, you know, track things or you enjoy this, like your Fitbit or your Apple Watch or whatever you're doing right now, this is sort of like that. It's like, exactly. It's like a Fitbit for your orgasms.

And then you can also, like, when you're actually masturbating, if you'd like, your partner can be looking at the screen and seeing, like, the little tremors and the, like when you're squeezing. And when you're not squeezing, like, they can actually follow along, which, like, I don't know. I just think that would be really cool. I would totally want to see. I'd be like, oh, my God, you're clenching right now.

Right? Exactly. It's like, I've never seen anything like this. You know, it's been getting a lot of attention, too, in the tech space, which I love. Sex tech. So that is the lioness and all the stuff you can find on our website. Okay, the next one for Valentine's Day gifts, the enclosed lingerie subscription service. This is a really cool gift that keeps on giving. You choose these beautiful lingerie sets, and then the enclosed customize it and makes the box really elegant and really sexy. Like, you. You get these boxes and you open it up and just the whole experience. Experience. You're like, before you even open it, you're like, this is really beautiful. And you, like slide it open and then there's like rose petals in it. And then you get this beautiful, you know, pieces of lingerie. And it comes once a month. So you could do it together or do it as a surprise for your partner. I got it. So my first pair of underwear that they sent me just to see if I liked it. I was like, oh, my God, I love these. It just made me. It just is another element that just go into the store and buying lingerie, it just makes it an experience. And then to know it's going to come every month. I love the underwear I got. And then they sent another one to me and they're like, oh, they messaged me. And she's like, hey, I sent you something else, but I think it's the wrong size. And I was like, okay, well, I got it and turns out it wasn't my size, but it was Jamie size. And oh, my God, I wish you could share the picture with everybody. It's this red, sexy bodysuit.

Yeah.

It was literally gorgeous.

It will one. I mean, come pulling it out of the box too. It's just. It is a reveal in and of itself. It's almost as if you know what it's gonna be like when you reveal it to your partner because it's like this exciting thing and you, like pull it out and you're like, oh, my God, this is hot. I can't wait to get in it. Like, there's rose petals and like, I like that they have the stamp.

The stamp. The melted stamp. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The seal that just always makes it feel. I know, Elegant. And like, when I tried it on, I put it on and I was like, fuck, I am hot. Yeah. I was like. I was turning on myself.

I know.

I was literally like, oh, shit. I had. I. So I showed. Of course I showed Emily a picture and she's like, holy crap. Because it's just. It is. It's a one piece thing and it's got all these strings everywhere, but it was actually really easy to put on. At first. I was like, how do I do this? But then I figured it out really easily. And it just cups your body so well and it's like comfortable and it's stretchy. So it's like lingerie. Sometimes people get excited about it and then they rip it. And I'm like, I just spent so much money on this thing, right don't be so. And you just ripped it. But this, I feel like, would be hard to rip.

It would be hard to rip. Yeah. That was like a. It was beautifully made. I mean, that's the thing is that they enclosed. What I've come to find out is because it's. They have a lot of different choices. You can get theme thematic things. You can just send bras or underwear. But it's high quality.

Yes.

And then for like, less price. So it's really beautiful stuff. And then apparently you get 35 off orders. A hundred dollars or more. That's a good gift. That's a good little discount.

Yeah. Because lingerie, good lingerie, you want to spend the money on it, like quality. And then it's too. It's like it's coming once a month. You can always switch things up. Well, you don't have to go to the store to buy stuff and then get discouraged if you don't find anything you like there.

And to be honest, I never want to go shopping for. It's like bathing suits. Like, I don't want to go shopping for it. But you get to do their, like, size quiz online. So they make sure that you're getting the right size for your partner. And I guess they do have a very good track record of making sure that you are getting the right size. And that's@getinclosed.com use code Emily. But I think getenclosed.com is our thing. So 35 off. I think that of a hundred dollars or more. And the other thing I want to say is we get so many subscription boxes. You get like beauty products or dog treats or, I mean, there' subscriptions for everything. But I feel like these are stuff that you're actually going to use that it's going to remind you to be in your body, feel sexy. I mean, people might think, like, oh, lingerie. You know, it really does work. Like when you put that on, like, you feel amazing when you're wearing something that is sexy. Like if that. If that is what makes you feel hot. And you can get any other, like, it doesn't have to be lace. They have cotton stuff. Like, find stuff that makes you feel good because there's nothing like getting dressed for it. And then that also could help kind of be like, oh, yeah, I am sexy. Get it. Get you in the mood. That's something new to surprise your partner with. We love them.

And I like that they have along with a lot of their, like, actual, like, brown panty sets, they have matching, like, Little rogue coveralls. Because those are just. Those are fun for when you are like by yourself or like right after. Like they're just like, you feel pretty being in it and sometimes you just want to go to bed feeling nice.

Exactly. You should want to feel nice and sexy.

Yeah.

And it's a woman owned company and she's awesome, so check that out. The other gifts we like is the Vesper. If you didn't get one for the holidays. Vesper by crave. I do have a limited edition one. It's the Sex Emily Vesper. It's a super elegant vibrator that you wear as a necklace. It looks like a little pen. If you haven't seen it yet. I guess we can't assume everyone's seen it. Even though I've been so excited about it for a few months. So you could check it out. But it's like, I wear it every day. It is. It's a vibrator that works. It absolutely does work. It's not just like a showpiece. And it's USB rechargeable. It is a great gift. We have these limited edition phrases that are sex with Emily, I come first. Turn me on. Our meditate Kate, masturbate manifest. You can find that@sexwithemily.com Vesper. I know. Lisa wears it every day too. At her other job she used it in the bathroom. Is that true?

It's true.

Yeah. It is true. Yeah, yeah. She's waitressing. She's like, I need a break. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go in the bathroom. It literally is that kind of thing.

There was nothing going on.

Yeah.

It's just so small and easy. And it works portable.

Portable. You always have a vibrator on you. And beyond. It's not just for women. I'm telling you, it's for everybody. Remember, vibrations feel good for all and they're really. You can get the silver, the rose gold, or the gold that goes up in price. But it's a really clever, like I gifted to literally everybody and they're like, oh my God. People kind of freak out about it.

And I think Valentine's Day is a great day for this too. Because a lot of times you do get jewelry for Valentine's Day, right? So it's like a nice thing that you can just like buy. Like, so even, even if your partner at first doesn't even know what it is, they're like, oh, this is a great necklace. And then like, what a fucking cool surprise that it also vibrates and it's Like, I think because of the materials, it's, like, so easy to clean it too, because obviously, after you use it, don't put it back on your neck without cleaning.

Just clean it with a damp cloth. Damp cloth, Damp cloth. And if you want to listen more. T. Chang was on our show, and she talked about it. She's the inventor designer, and it's become sort of like the secret club. It's funny because I wear it and there are. When I'm out, like, oh, is that the vibrator necklace?

I've heard that before.

Have you? Yeah, yeah. It's like this club. I mean, people are starting to hear about it. I love it.

And it starts the conversation because the more you wear it, the more you want to talk about it. Yeah, exactly. You know, I feel like, though, it's like, when it's on your neck and you're just like, you're fidgeting with it. You're like, I really hope someone asks me about this right now.

I always kind of. It's kind of a fun little, like. What's it called? Like, those squeeze ball. Like a stress. Like, I'm just kind of holding it and playing with it and fondling it around my neck. So those are some fun gifts, you guys. You can also check out. We have a bunch of stuff on our site, too. There's, like, kits, and I just think make something sexy for. For. For all of you. If you're in a relationship, get a sexy gift. Forget the roses. Get roses in the lingerie. We're gonna take a quick break, and we come back more Valentine's Day.

Listen, if you don't want to get toys, totally cool. You want to do a combo DIY gifts, do it yourself. And I think these are super special. And this is the way, like, if you. I think it means no matter what kind of a relationship, how long you've been together, I think it just. It means that you really, like, care. And it takes a moment to just kind of put down your thoughts and to create something special for your partner. So here's an idea. I had an idea. I actually remembered this. This is. Okay, so I have this crate of letters. I call them my love letter. A huge crate of letters that I've received over the last 30 years from partners in relationships. They were like cards they wrote me or letters, and. And some of them are, like, printed emails, and it's like correspondence. And I had a fun. I was like, chris, I really want to bring these in. I think there's something we could do. With them. So I brought it in, and I found this great postcard that I had a boyfriend send me. He. He bought a postcard, and on the. You know, the front of it was just a great, you know, pretty photo. So you could do. If you could even make a photo postcard of you and your partner. And then he, like, pasted something on the back. He created a puzzle, and I think you could probably now get a lot of these online, like a puzzle card. And then he. In the. In the mail, I got an envelope with all the puzzle pieces, and then I put them together, just, like, 10, 15 pieces. It's pretty easy to do. And then on the front was a photo, and on the back was, like, a letter to me that he had written. And it was. It was a really, like, loving, thoughtful gift. Like, in these moments, when you do something that thoughtful, it's like, what else do you need, really? That was a fun one, right? That was cool. And then you could also do. This is something great. I'm actually doing this. I've done this for friends. I've done this for lovers. To get a mason jar. And you could design the mason jar, you know, on the outside. Outside, and then on the inside, you can put little sticky notes in it or little notes that just say either, you know, things that you love about your partner, things that you want to try, favorite sexual memories. And you could just write little notes, and then every day or once a month, they can pull out a little note about what you love about them, Especially if you have a partner who their love language is words, words of affirmation.

And then if you're having a down day, what a nice thing to be like, I'm just gonna go to my jar and pick something out. And it just could, like, really lift your spirits. Like, maybe that's all you need to, like, get a little pep in your step.

They're like, oh, yeah, my partner does love me. You know, when you go to those moments, you're like, I can't stand them.

Right. If they. Like, if you get in a fight, too, and you're like, oh, I'm so mad at them. But you pull one of those out, be like, oh, this is why. This is why I'm with them.

Yeah. It is a mind trick, you guys. You have to get back into the mindset and remember why you love someone. And I think this is a great way to do it. I was actually talking to a friend the other night, and she said to me, sometimes I'm so mad, but then I'm like, remember because he has an accent, he's from another country. She's like, remember when you loved his accent? Remember what he did? Like he was a martial arts fighter. Like, she was going to her head to remember all the things that she loved about him when they fell in love, because he's no longer doing some of those things. But she was kind of remember her mindset when she met him. And she was like, actively walking me through the things she does to get herself back into remembering why you fell in love. So I think it's important. However, you need reminders, so that's one thing. You could also, you guys do a little scavenger hunt. You could hide clues or presents around the house, and they could go on a sexy scavenger hunt. So you could, like, leave little clues everywhere every time they find a note. You could put chocolates, little knickknacks, write love messages. And you kind of, you know, you could do, you know, send them a little chase around the house. And then when they get to the end, that could be like a sex toy or a piece of laundry or something really, really special.

Right? I want. I would love it because first of all, I love any kind of puzzle games, like scavenger hunt stuff like, things like that. I love that.

I feel like you should do this one for your partner.

I don't.

Is it too soon? Okay, tell me, what are you gonna do?

Pause on the help for you guys.

Pause. Let's help. J. Jamie. Sex with Jamie.

Sex with Jamie. Is it too. I feel like it's too soon.

It's only been a week of, like, being like, okay, officially.

Well, this is a great question. People want to know, what do I do? If we've been together a week, a month, a year.

At that point it'll be a year. And I'm sure I'm not. A year, sorry, A month. And I'm sure that we're gonna hang out because it's a Friday, which is.

Such a blessing this year in a way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I don't know, because I don't want to. I might, like, be like, oh, like, here's a. Obviously I'll probably wear something nice like, you know, something lingerie esque and like, bring out a different toy or something new to try in the bedroom. But I don't know. I don't want to put any pressure on either. Like, I don't know if he's going to do something or say anything.

I think you talk about it ahead of time. You're like, let's just call like, Valentine's Day is Friday night. I'm thinking of.

That's so weird. I'm not used to this.

I know. And be like, I'm thinking of, you know, making dinner and then you can just. I think that's. Yeah. You know, maybe next year do the scavenger hunt. But I know what you're saying. But it could be fun. You could also say, my boss is making me do this. You could blame me.

Right.

But sexy night. That'd be a good time. And this is another thing I want to mention is like, putting out you when you said a new toy. I think this is a great night for anyone to try something new. So things that you have lying around that. It could be blindfolds, it could be a paddle, bondage tape, if you want to try bondage. You know, I think this is a good night just to try something new. So maybe you just think about what you want because you know that you are the leader in the sex info for the. With this guy.

Yeah.

Like, you're the one who's going to bring the excitement, which is a lot of pressure. But it's true. Welcome to my world. It's never going to change. You're always going to be the one that knows more than your partner.

Yeah. But I think. I think I love the scavenger hunt idea. I think maybe next year. For sure, if worst, hopefully.

Oh, so what are you going to do then?

I mean, I'm thinking that I don't want to, like, make a whole plan, but definitely, like, I would like to maybe, let's say, hey, let's have a Friday night where we don't hang out with everybody else and we hang out alone because we usually, like, hang out, like, during the week by ourselves, but then on the weekend because we're in the same friend group, so it's like we just all hang out together. Some of you will just be like, let's just be on our own and.

Like, can make food and have like a little thing. I guess, like, that's something we're talking about. We're going to talk about some date night ideas, but one of them I love is having, like, an indoor picnic. You could have that.

Like, oh, I think I'll do that.

Yeah. Just get some fun stuff that you like to eat. You don't have to cook. You could, like, stop at the store and get. Get all these fun little finger foods and you could, like, feed each other and have it all, like, candles set up in your room.

What if you like, blindfolded each other and, like, fed each other different things, and guess what it was. I don't know. That sounds fun.

That would be fun. I would so be down. And then also, to add a twist to this indoor picnic, because picnics are usually very open, I actually have these really tall, like, bar chairs and, like, extra sheets. I want to make, like, a full fort. Oh, and I have, like, a sexy fort.

That is hot. Yep. I love that idea. It's very, like.

And then I'll have candles outside the fort so nothing burns down.

Right. Good. Good thinking.

And then I am. We have a projector, so maybe.

Maybe we put a project Porn.

I want to come.

Sounds like my perfect.

Oh, my God. No, that actually sounds great.

Like, my boss is here again. She won't leave me alone on Valentine's Day. I'm like, really? You're at my house?

Be texting you. Play by plays. Things are going well now. Enacting the porn, Erica.

Yeah, exactly. That would be fun to walk in and have the projector and the lights, like, a. Feel good, like, smell like, scents that are really good. Yeah.

And, like, I. Okay, so this is funny because I always ask people what kind of porn they're into because I'm curious. So I asked him. I was like, hey, so, like, what kind of porn do you watch? And then he was just saying. He's like, I don't. I mean, I don't know. Just, like, stuff, I guess. I like different things all the time. He's a little bit of a connoisseur, I guess. I don't know. He's like, guys always feel like they don't want to tell you.

I know because you're gonna judge. Because most people do judge, which I get.

I completely get. But they know me, and they know. Well, he knows. They still don't know. And then. So he's a water you into. And I was like, well, I like, you know, like, very much like. Like, domination, submissive porn. I like also when there's, like, a lot of, like, spanking in it or if, like, there are situations that I can imagine myself in. Like, there's this one where it's, like, a doctor patient thing, which is not what I'm really into, but both of the toys they use I have. Have.

Okay, you could recreate a. A porn scenario. That is great, But I just felt.

Like I was like. He was like, oh, that's really hot. And d. I'm like, yeah, I want to know specifics. Like, tell me specifics. I just told you. My specifics.

So he didn't.

It's fine.

Maybe he doesn't watch porn.

I don't think he watches a lot, but I also don't know. I don't know how often he masturbates. I feel like I'm very open about mine and I'm getting him there. Like, he's open about stuff, but, like. And he likes when I talk about it.

But yeah, I. I think that he's probably never been asked before and maybe because maybe he had shame around it. And if he has been asked, probably, like, are you masturbating? Were you watching porn? Like, because most. I believe there's a misunderstanding and a lot of women are really insecure about their partners watching porn. And you guys, I was there when I was 24 years old, 25. I really didn't understand why my partner had. I was. I was so shocked and upset that he was watching porn. God, I was like. But I thought we were having this great. He's the one who did the puzzle for me. I'm like, great sex, great love affair. Like, I didn't understand that. It's just a totally part of being sexually healthy is like watching some porn. Like, having, you know, an experience and releasing, you know, having an orgasm is a great stress reliever and it didn' take away from, you know, his feelings for me. So that's it. And then also another DIY is a scrapbook of your best times together. So it could just be like pictures, words, mementos, anything that would just kind of make them feel special. I just like, you know, giving your partner some words, reinforcing why you love them. Another thing is just also writing, like in the way when you wake up in the morning on Valentine's Day, like writing things like on lipstick, on the mirror in the bathroom, if you guys live together or just like leaving different notes around. I just think this is a great night to do it, to reinforce your. Your love and what you love about it. Like, who doesn't like to hear why someone loves you? Yeah, those little special things.

If you don't normally do this kind of stuff. How surprising and great.

Okay, some date night ideas. You could recreate your first date or think about as much as you possibly can. You could re recreate the scenario. Like if you saw a movie, you could like, rent the movie or you go to the place you had dinner or drinks, or maybe there was an event that you went to. You play that music at your house, if it was like a concert or something. So kind of the things that, like, it's kind of like my friend remembering that I fell in love with his accent. I fell in love with his athletic proudness. Think about what you. You know, where you fell in love, what that moment was, what you. What you did, or where you fell in, like, let's say, if it was the first date.

Yeah.

I don't know if you fall in love on the first date. But, you know, something that was really memorable. Bring that back to light.

Wouldn't it be cool, too, if you still fit into the same outfit and you remembered what you wore? Yeah, that could be cute. You're like. Or even if you told your partner, like, I remember this is what you were wearing. And they're like, oh, my God. That's amazing. How did you remember that? Like, those little d. Those little things that you're like, I can't believe it. You remembered that. Like, it's just nice. It's just. You're like, oh, shit. Like, you're paying attention.

I think we all want to feel. Like, we all want to feel seen.

Yes.

I think we all want to be adored and cherished, and I think that this is a great time to do it. You have. You have a day that's devoted to this and your relationship. So we talked a little bit about the indoor picnic inside your living room or outside in your bedroom, backyard, if it's not freezing. And you could get some of your favorite foods. Like, you could go to the store and just get little finger foods. You could get a. You know, put a blindfold on your partner and feed them, like, chocolate strawberries, flavored loops.

Like, Muse. Oh, my God. Imagine. Because then you could be like, oh, what does this taste like? And they could say, mint chocolate. And then you could put it on your body part and then bring their face to that body part.

That's great. Like, because you guys, these muse lubes are so delicious. Delicious. That's what you're gonna do.

I'm gonna do all of these. This is just everyone, I hope you know, we're planning my balance.

No, we are. I'm like, okay. No, Jamie, I love this. These little. The muse lubes are so great because they're not, like. I think that people might have had bad experiences with some lubes. It tasted just not great. There's a weird aftertaste. But these are body safe. There's like a chocolate one. Creme brulee. Caramel Creme brulee. Not caramel. Creme brulee and salted caramel. Yeah. There's is caramel There you go. That's a fun game. And lick it off this body part. Tell me what flavor it is. This is fun. You gotta take notes and remember what you did. You could also cook a meal together if you guys are into cooking. And just wear an apron.

I think that's nice. As long as you're not cooking anything with grease flying around.

Right. Exactly. Good point. Safety first.

Or like. And if you have kids then maybe you can't be naked, but get outta.

Him for a night.

Yeah. Get like a suite that has a kitchen in it.

Exactly. I think hotels should have like trying to think of how you. If you can't get a babysitter that night. Yeah. Get one without Teller. If you don't.

Should be a good idea. It should be like a hotel that has daycare for kids when you. For Valentine's Day. Or like some kind of service that's like. It's like a kids like community group night and. Yeah. Where the kids go and the parents can have their Valentine's. I think that would be a great service.

It would be. And like you just get the hotel room for a night or for a few hours.

Yeah.

Yeah. That could be another one of our businesses. We're going to add that to the list.

Adding it.

Adding it to the list. And then you guys games are really fun too. So again anything that can like elicit this kind of conversation and. And enhance your intimacy. Creative conceptions makes really cool gifts. Really cool gifts games. And one is called Monogamy. It's like a board game like Monopoly. They have one called Sex Parts Sex marks the Spot. They have one called Oral Fun. And it like kind of gives you little tips for oral and then like just naughty sex Dice. Get some of those. You roll it and it kind of gives you instructions like to what to do to a certain body part in what room. Kind of like Clue.

Yeah. And the.

With the butcher with the rolling pin in the kitchen or whatever.

But like do you ever play Clue? Yeah, I love.

Okay. It's kind of like that sexy dice. And they're like 10 bucks.

They are. They are super cheap. And then like. Cause it's like too. It's like oh, if you're always doing the same positions too like this will at least you can maybe you start out with a different one than you normally do.

Right.

Or it causes you to like have sex longer. Which. What's wrong.

The sex. Build the enhance the intimacy. Build the teasing. The buildup is sometimes can be the hottest part. Like when you first meet someone and the tensions are building. You can recreate that on Valentine's Day. That's what we want for all of you. Okay guys, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and we are sending you love from here. Thank you Jamie and Elisa. Everything we talk about you can find on our website and we'll have some more shows coming out for single on Valentine's Day and what you can do but we're here with you. We love you all. If you like this show, rate us five stars. We love that you know wherever you're listening, just do it right now. Spotify, Soundcloud, Google Play, itunes and it's also awesome if you, you know review us on itunes. That really helps. Thanks to my incredible team.

I love you.

Happy Valentine's Day. KE Kristin Elisa Bryant Producer Jamie and Michael Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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