Why Antidepressants Can Kill Your Sex Drive (And What to Do)
29 Aug 2025 · 32 min
In this episode of Sex with Emily, host Dr. Emily Morse blends personal wellness promotion, medical education, cultural commentary, and listener call-ins to explore how antidepressants affect sexual desire and function. The show opens with a sponsored endorsement of the Peaklife (PIQUE) hydration protocol, describing a two‑part electrolyte drink routine that claims to boost mood, energy, sleep, and libido. Emily then delves into the pharmacology of antidepressants, explaining why SSRIs and similar drugs often lower libido, impair arousal, and hinder orgasm. She contextualizes these effects with a cultural analysis of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “WAP,” discussing myths around female lubrication, the pressure for women to be constantly wet, and the reality that wetness does not equal arousal. The episode provides practical guidance on managing both insufficient and excessive vaginal wetness, emphasizing the role of pelvic‑floor health, Kegel exercises, and the Yarlap electro‑stimulation device. Two listener calls follow. First, April (39, California) shares relationship stress, lack of sexual interest, and practical concerns (pet, moving, future plans). Emily advises that fluctuating desire is normal, recommends open communication, couples therapy, and outlines how unresolved resentment can dampen libido. Second, Olivia (22, Brooklyn) describes SSRI‑induced loss of orgasm and libido while on Prozac. Emily suggests mindfulness, erotic mental engagement, discussing dosage adjustments or switching to Wellbutrin with a physician, and highlights that side effects may lessen over time. A third caller, Colin, reports using Zoloft + Lexapro and switching Lexapro to Wellbutrin, noting restored desire but lingering orgasm difficulty, reinforcing the utility of Wellbutrin for sexual side‑effect mitigation. The episode concludes with a product plug for the Nova 2 vibrator, describing its design and claimed ability to produce blended orgasms, and ends with standard podcast sign‑off and social‑media calls to action.
Chapters
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And sleep, as you know, is one of the most underrated ingredients for desire and pleasure. And the best part, it tastes amazing and it's clean. There's no sugar, no fillers, just spa grade ingredients like lemon juice, beetroot and monk fruit. And for me, it's just this delicious pleasure ritual that supports my body, my mood and my sex life. Most importantly, try it for yourself. Get 20% off your subscription plus a free gift at peaklife.com Dr. Emily that's P I Q U E life.com Dr. Emily or visit peaklife.com and use code EMILY that's P-I Q U E L I F E.com and use code EMILY. See, this is what happens. I just want to tell you that you're so not alone with this. It's like, you know, I don't know if you went out for depression or anxiety. You're like, I'm too depressed or anxious to have sex. And then you feel like having sex and then you are feeling happier. But then you have sex and you can't have an orgasm or you just don't. Your libido has been impacted. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Today we're talking about how antidepressants affect your sex life. These medications can be life saving for depression and anxiety, but they often come with side effects like lower libido, trouble with arousal or difficulty reaching orgasm. In this Episode I'll break down why it happens, what you can do about it, and share real listener stories, from losing orgasm on Prozac to finding hope with Wellbutrin. And we'll also look at cultural myths around desire, including what Cardi B. And Megan Thee Stallion's Wap reveals about the double standards in female sexuality. So whether you're on medication in a relationship, or just curious about the link between mental health and sex, this conversation will give you clarity, solutions, and permission to reclaim your pleasure. All right, let's dive in and Wap. Let me just say it's an acronym for, like, a well, lubricated vagina vulva. Well, actually vagina cause internally, but the vulva can be lubricated as well. It can have some wetness, and it is an overt display of female sexuality. But how long have we been listening to men rap about and talk about and sing about female sexuality and their. Their penis doing certain things right? We hear it all the time. But to see a woman, I found it empowering. There are parts of it, though, that I would like to discuss, because I think it brings up a lot of things about wetness and female sexuality and arousal and desire. I like the song I gotta say it. I mean, you know, and I do see it as a celebration of female sexuality in many ways. So essentially, she's talking about the fact Cardi B, you know, fighting. And just in that part we just heard, she's talking about. What does she say here? I don't even like the word pussy. So I never really say it. I really don't. I don't know why. You know me, I say vagina, I say vulva, I say penis. My first thing is that the controversy first came up because they're talking about how if it's wet, that's a problem, one shouldn't celebrate it. And I thought, well, I just want to talk about this part of it, because some people think it's shaming or something's wrong with it. The first point I want to make is just technically, as a sex doctor, that vaginal lubrication is awesome and necessary. However, you can be aroused and turned on and not be that wet. You can also be really wet and not turned on. And so my only concern is that it could perpetuate this myth that this notion that women should always be really wet and really turned on every time and ready to go. And then now, if we're not, that's a problem. Now, I understand that it's from their perspective and celebrating their sexuality, which Again, I think. I think we need more videos and more women and more songs and more things that are celebrating women loving their own bodies and celebrating female sexuality. Because there's been so much that is sort of against it, right? I mean, if you think about, like, Adam and Eve, right, it was all about Eve being the temptress. And it was Eve's fault, right, that Adam bit into the apple. And so there has been, you know, centuries, you know, of repression of female sexuality and female desire. So whenever I see women celebrating it, it's amazing, right? But not every woman does. So I sent it to my mother before the show. I was like, I just wanna know what you think. She goes, I'm too old for this. I think it's like I'm 40 years too old for it. But I know she, like, Kylie Jenner makes a appearance. Which that was the first thing everyone was talking about. Like, why is Kylie. Kylie, you know, Kylie Jenner in it? But it really blew up when Ben Shapiro, you know, conservative talking head, he tweeted that his wife, who's a doctor, told him that if a vagina is wet, it requires a bucket and a mop, and that maybe it's about a sexually transmitted infection. So I'm not saying the song is about that at all, but I do think that it points this thing that women's sexuality has been a threat to men in so many ways, that a woman being, you know, standing up and celebrating her sexuality, and that a lot of our power has been, you know, men are sort of the arbiters of a healthy sex, and men are the ones who sort of control female sexuality. So I like the celebration of that and that. What I also like is that it's women that they're sort of saying, yeah, you know, great, we own it. Because so many times when women have done that, especially when I was like, in my 20s, if women. If I talked about the men I slept with and what I did, I was called a slut. It was called slutty. Or, you know, you women always talk about. I want to keep my numbers down. I don't want people to know how many people I've slept with because it's somehow virginal. Which is all just kind of silly to me because I feel like women, I find it, obviously it's my job, but I talk to everybody, women and men, obviously, and I'm very open and not judging anybody. But what I'm saying is, when I do see women saying, it's okay, I'm gonna own my body, I'm gonna own my pleasure. I'm gonna talk about my orgasm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask for it. I wanted it. I wanted this sex. I'm gonna take it. This is what I need. To me, that is a celebration, however it's done. But not everyone ever agrees on music. We don't agree on lyrics. We don't all even agree on pop culture or any of it. But I like it when I see women celebrating and owning it. So that's how I feel about it. I mean, and there's so many examples of men. Megan, our call screener, said, if men can rap, slob in my. Nah, we can rap about the wap. I mean, it has been normalized in pop culture for a long time. So I did want to take it back to. To the wetness level here. What does it mean? Because I do. This is my thing. Because when I thought it, I was like, oh, yeah, I can talk about it. In the show, we don't usually cover all the stuff that's going on in the news, but when it relates to sex. And so my thing is, you know, I want you to understand that it's important for your vagina to be well lubricated for sex. And that's why I'm a huge fan of lube. And I want there to be a lube on every nightstand. Because you can't control how wet we get. It changes certain times a month. It can change hormonally, certain medications. And if women aren't wet enough, then there's like, tears and dryness, and you can get infections. It is not pretty. So I just want women to be able to monitor now when you can get too wet. So Kendra asks on my team, what do you do when you're too wet? And that happens for women as well. They're like, I am just too wet, and now there's too much wetness. And that can happen too. This is the stuff that I want to normalize here on the show. I want to normalize all of it and say, yeah, you can get too wet. So that can happen. Usually you're not too wet the whole time, but what I would suggest is you just kind of get off and you can wear a. Put it. Put a towel down. You know, you can sort of wipe up and then go back at it. But there's not really anything you can do if you get too wet, except for maybe kind of if it's. If it's causing a problem, then you can kind of pull back and do something else. Sexually, there is a gynecologist who's been on the Show a lot, Dr. Carolyn DeLucia out of New York. And she says that women can take, I believe it's like an antihistamine. Because it's the same thing if it's really, like, a problem. And it can help dry you out. That was the only thing I heard that was like a medical. But I don't like to, you know, recommend that people, you know, are taking certain drugs for certain things that they're not meant for. But that. That is what I heard. Otherwise, I just think you stop for a minute, you throw a towel down, you go to the bathroom, you wipe off, and you go. Cause usually if you're. You know. The other thing about weddings, though, I just want to say is that it is not only an indicator of you being aroused or turned on. And that the reason why we have this notion is because we're always saying, oh, was she wet? Are you wet? And I remember, like, having sex with guys and they was like, oh, you're wet. Are you wet? Are you gonna be wet enough? And you're like, oh, I'm so wet. Like, that's something that we say because women's sexuality is always compared to men who have this sort of spontaneous arousal, right? Like, you know, if your partner's turned on. Cause there's an erection. And then women, it's another way that we're like, oh, I'm not turned on enough. I'm not wet enough. But all I wanna say is that is not the way that you measure your arousal. And there's so many other ways to be aroused and to be turned on. So another question here from Amanda. What if it's poor timing or it's not a sexual situation, like when you're on a run? Yeah, that can happen too, when you get too wet. You guys ever have the sneeze and pee or running and pee? That happens a lot. And what that means when that happens for women is that usually it is a pelvic floor thing. It means that there's a weakness in the pelvic floor. For a lot of women, they experience after childbirth. And this is why you're keeping your pelvic floor strong. And doing your kegel exercises is so important for women, really, women at any age. And so when that happens, you really just. I mean, honestly, do your kegels. And Cardi B. Does say in the song, I do a kegel. When he's in me, I squeeze a kegel. And that is true for some women. When you like, here's the thing about your pelvic floor muscles. Is that your pelvic floor muscles, your Kegels, doing a Kegel muscle. It's that. It's when you are using those muscles where you stop and start the flow of urine. That's what it is. Like if someone's knocking on the door in the bathroom and you're like, I gotta stop, it's that muscle. And so if you exercise those, like, you tense and you relax, you know, for three, hold for three, release for three seconds or five seconds, and you do that for a few minutes a day, that actually will make a huge difference in just a few weeks. Because for women, like, after childbirth or when you just get older, if you don't have kids, you start to have sneeze and pee. You start to run and pee. The other amazing thing I want to talk about. Oh, this is good that we're on Kegels, is there's this awesome product called Yarlap, and it's Y, A, R, L, A P. And so many of you have loved this. So I'm bringing it up again. And it is a product that women can use and you put inside of you, and it actually does your Kegels for you, because a lot of us don't do them correctly. And so you can just lie back and put it inside. And it uses its electrostimulation that it doesn't. You can't really feel it. It's not painful just inside of you. And actually stimulating those muscles, it gets the blood flowing again and builds those muscles so you won't have the urinary incontinence, as we call it. Sneeze and pee is easier, but it's called urinary incontinence. That is the medical term for it. Also, the thing about doing your Kegels and strengthening them is that it helps you have stronger orgasms. Because if you think they're the muscles that are responsible for orgasm, thinking of that, like, we have so much pressure as women to feel like that something's wrong with us if we're not turned on and always ready for sex. That we are somehow. I mean, honestly, there's some ways that we feel broken because we are compared. And again, this is not. I literally think that people don't know this because it's always been this way that we compare, like, penetrative sex. Like, we are told that sex is all about penis going into vagina. And that's the ultimate. When only 70% of. Only 30% of women are gonna have an orgasm that way, they're actually not gonna have their most pleasure from that. But that's how we compare it. Cause I think that we feel if we're not having pleasurable or satisfying sex in some way, it's because we are. Not that there's something wrong with us or that we're broken, or we're like, oh, well, my partner's turned on, and I'm not turned on yet. And then we put this. This. Do you guys do this? I do this. You put this pressure on yourself. And so then we put pressure on ourselves before it even starts that we're not turned on yet or we weren't. Like, we're distracted or we're stressed or something else has been going on. And to understand, to give women the permission that when we want to get a rouser turned on, that it's a process. And that for a lot of women, it can take anywhere from like, 15 minutes to an hour to be ready to be like, okay, I'm ready. I am mentally arous, aroused. I'm physically aroused. I've done all the things I need to do to be ready for it. And sometimes we gotta prepare for it on our own. And that there's just more to think about. When you think about the complexity of female desire and arousal and that it just can take a while. And then we start to think that we have a low libido and that we're never in the mood for sex or we're somehow broken because we don't understand the process. And this is for women of all ages that actually to be there and be ready for sex is a process for every single woman to figure out what that looks like. It might be watching porn. It might be sending sexy texts throughout the day to our partners and be thinking about the sex happening. Like, we need. Like, we need the premeditated, you know, sex. We need to know sometimes that it's happening. We need to build towards it. And there's no information about this for women. All right, I'm gonna take a quick break. There'll be more sex with Emily. Thanks, everyone, for supporting our sponsors. You know, we only work with sponsors that we. That we enjoy ourselves. And I hope you do too. Let's talk to April 39th in California. Hi, April. What's going on?
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I would just say, I guess, that my boyfriend. I have just kind of had a lot of bigger issues to try and work through, like wanting to move to a new place and just working on our relationship. And I find that I'M just not as into sex lately. And I normally am really into it, but I'm just kind of mad and frustrated with him. And so, like, the emotional part's getting in the way, and I just kind of wondering if there's a way to, you know, figure. Figure it all out. But, yeah.
Well, April. Yeah, no, but, April, this is the thing that we have to honor, that it's all normal. Right? Feels like, am I normal? Am I normal? This is. Okay. Yes. The thing that's the most constant about sex, the most normal thing about our sex drive and our sex life, is that it fluctuates over time, that sometimes we're in the mood, sometimes we're not in the mood. We go through periods where we're feeling very sexual and then long periods where we're not. And also emotionally, if you're having challenges with your boyfriend right now, then that would make sense that, you know, when our brain isn't on board, it's hard for our body to follow. I mean, your question is, how do I get back on board with sex? And I can tell you that. But also, what's going on? Do you think you want to be in this relationship? What's happening?
I mean, I definitely want to be in it, and I hope that we can work through stuff because it's not like, you know, the worst issues compared to, say, some of my girlfriends. But I just feel like he's not addressing any of the things that are kind of big, big issues for me. And so that's just making me kind of resentful. And, you know, I keep telling him we need to spend more time talking about things and, like, trying to figure it out, but he's just not good at communicating. And I don't know what to do. I just feel flustered and.
Yeah, well, I hear you. Well, resentment's a big thing. So if you talk about why you're not in the mood, it's because your heart. You have resentments right now. And let me just tell you this. I'm going to give it to you straight. If right now he's not considering things that are and doesn't wanna talk about it. How long have you guys been together?
Two years.
Okay, so let me just tell you this. There's not gonna be a time where he all of a sudden decides that he wants to spend a lot more time talking about your issues, that's not gonna happen. So just know that. That people don't change much. I don't think that all of a sudden he's gonna Be like, you know, april, I want you to tell me now. Like, let's just take this night and dedicate it to what is going on with you. Cause I'm here for you. You're not gonna get that. Right. But you might get something else. You might get part of. I just. These shifts don't usually happen the way we expect it because it's been two years. If you were, like, two months, I'm like, okay, you're still getting to know each other, but two years. You know, what are the big issues that he doesn't want to talk about right now?
I would say kind of a few things. So, one, I want to talk about our sex life more because it hasn't been as great as it was the last couple months.
Okay.
I just want to kind of talk more about our relationship and where it's going, where we're going, and, like, goals in life. And I just kind of feel like he might be a little bit stuck, and so I have to decide how I feel about that.
Yeah.
And, you know, I want to move into a different place, and we're in a really seasonal climate, so we don't have a lot of windows to, like, do that kind of stuff. And he has a pet that just drives me crazy, and he won't do any training or, like, resolve any issues there. And, you know, I'm just not down with cleaning up messes all the time and dealing with bad behavior all the time, and it's just, like, kind of embarrassing.
Yeah, that's a lot. Okay. So, April, can you hear why maybe you don't feel like jumping on his bones right now? I mean, I'm hearing. Really? I mean, you guys live together then, right? Because you have to deal with the pet.
Yeah.
So, I mean, the first thing is I feel like if you had some more security. I mean, what I see is. I just even wrote it down. I was like, okay, sex life, relationship, goals in life. Then the pet's like, number four. But I see them as all kind of related. Right. Like, you think he's not moving forward in his goals in life, and he's not even training. Did you say it was a dog or just a pet? I mean, he's not training his pet.
Yeah, dog.
He's not training the pet. He's not training himself. Your sex life is not. Is stagnant right now because you don't feel safe, and you don't know where it's going. And you're 39 years old. So, like, you know, in our 20s, I don't know, for me, in my 20s, I was like, yeah, I've got all the time in the world. And then I'm like, oh, right. I actually need to know. Because if it's not working, I'm out. These are not just the things that are important to you. I think, April, you want to be with a partner who thinks these are important, too. Who. The second the sex life isn't great, he wants to talk about it with you and be like, what can we do? And they want to know where it's going as well. So. Yeah, I mean, I could tell you ways that you could get turned on again and what you can do, but I. I think that these are the things that we gotta figure out now. Cause you live together. I mean, do you wanna have kids?
I feel like that window is closing quickly if it's not already closed, so.
Right.
Probably more unlikely than not.
Yeah. I mean, well, yeah. I mean, you're 39. You know women.
And the dog seems certainly not helping that.
The dog. Yeah. I mean. I mean, right. Well, look at the dog. Your kid's gonna be. You heard him say, these are really big issues. These are really important things to figure out as an adult with someone you've been with for two years. Even one of these things, right? Like, most people are like, everything's great, but our sex life isn't. Or everything's great, but, you know, I feel like I'm not inspired by my partner. Cause he's not motivated to get a job. Like. But these are all three things. I'm not even including the dog. So my recommendation to you is to say we have to talk about all these things because we gotta figure out an answer right now. Is it going to work? Is it not? And I love therapy. Like, right now, you could get a therapist on Zoom. You could see someone for an hour a week for the next month and have way more answers than you did today. Because I don't think that. It doesn't sound like he's someone who's going to be on board with that, or you guys are going to be able to figure it out when he doesn't really want to talk about anything. So what really helps is. And I was. You know, I've been with guys, too, for even shorter, about 10 than two years. And we went for a few weeks, few months. And we figured it out because it's like a mediator. Someone's gonna help you move the needle and move it along. Because these matter to you and they should matter to you. And it's not just your agenda. It's his agenda, too. It's his life.
Right.
So could you see it?
Do you have any therapist on how to find a therapist?
I do. I mean, honestly, yeah. Well, first off, do you have insurance?
I do.
Okay, awesome. I mean, a lot of insurance companies right now, you know, for many plans, you get, like, 10 sessions free or they pay half it. Psychology Today has a good list of therapists. You know, you can search specifically by what you're looking for, like a family therapist or a couples therapist. And really, it's a relationship thing. It's like making new friends in a way. You gotta see, like, do you like this person? But I don't know. I've been seeing mine on Zoom, and that's really easy. So I would find somebody that's covered by your insurance. And honestly, a basic therapist, they don't do the best one in the world, but they can. I mean, hopefully you find a really good one. But most therapists will help you develop tools so you can learn to communicate with him specifically and get to the bottom of this if you both want the same things. And if he says no to therapy and no to talking, then call me back. Thank you, April. Thanks for calling. Good luck. Appreciate it. All right. Of course. Want to find out more about this? Well, check out sexwithemily.com. we'll be right back. Olivia's 22 in Brooklyn. Hi, Olivia. What's going on? How can I help you?
Hi. Oh, my God, I'm so excited to be on the show. Thank you for having me.
Of course. So happy to talk to you.
Yeah. So I wanted to talk to you about SSRIs and sex drive, which is something I've experienced a problem with personally and as a young person who enjoys sex, it has been disappointing, I guess, to say the least, because I'm also an anxious person. So the ssri, you know, helps that. But. Yeah, I was just curious, like, if you had any advice on that, sort of how to deal with that and. Yeah. How to, like, sustain a sex drive and relationships when you're also dealing with being on medication.
Yeah. How long have you been on the medication?
I've been on it for a little over a year.
Okay. Have you talked to your doctor about it at all?
I have. I have, and she's suggested other medications. I'm just not sure if I want to add on another medication.
Yeah, no, I understand that. See, this is what happens. I just want to tell you that you're so not alone with this. It's like you know, I don't know if you went on for depression or anxiety. You're like, I'm too depressed or anxious to have sex. And then you feel like having sex and then you are feeling happier, but then you have sex and you can't have an orgasm or you just don't. Your libido has been impacted.
It's honestly both. But, yeah, I, like, can't even make myself orgasm at times, which is like truly, like the most sad thing to.
Is.
Yeah.
I wonder. I mean, so honestly, what I was going to say if you'd been out. Sometimes the side effects go away for some people. There's a few things that happen. Sometimes the side effects go away for some people after a few months. Now, some of it could also be that we are, you know, this happens so much with sex that we think it's. It happened once, you couldn't orgasm and then you're like, oh, I won't be able to orgasm. And then. And then you continue, can't. It's like, you know, we hear this from guys aloud about premature ejaculation, right? That happens once and then every time they have sex, they come quickly because they're afraid it's gonna happen. There's also a lot to be said for talking to your doctor, but seeing what you could do if you reduced it just a tiny bit. But I would not do that without talking to your doctor because I feel like sometimes they have you reduce it or they can add something else in. You could also do some of the things I talk about on the show, which is like mindfulness practices, getting out of your head, you know, and because the side effects can subside for many people, they do. And so you could be like, I don't know how to know. If you're caught up in a pattern right now, what are you. Do you mind. If you're telling me what you're on, Is it like an ssri, Like Prozac or Zoloft?
Yeah, it's Prozac.
Yeah, Prozac. Okay. Yeah, it's like that. So that is really common. And so I think. And I know this is for many people, and I took it in the past. It's like I would go down, I think, with my. And this was like years ago, but you just sort of. It was a tiny bit of a reduction and it made a difference. And I. And again, still don't know was it. I think there's something to be said for reducing the medication and feeling like you've done something different. So is it the placebo effect, you know, it clearly has an impact, but also, so much of sex is our mind and our brains. When our brains are on board for sex, our body will follow. So, like, how much time, Olivia, are you spending in a space where you're, like, thinking about erotic thoughts or how you want sex to happen, or how's your fantasy life? Because there's a lot of that that goes into sex as well.
Right, right. I think sometimes I get what you're talking about, like, this mind block where it's very easy to.
Yeah.
To forget those. Yeah. Those processes that lead to an orgasm or lead to being turned on. And. Yeah, that's. That's definitely something to remember.
I mean, that's what I would. That's what I would recommend. So, you know, did you. You know, also, did you try other medications before?
Right.
No.
Yeah, I haven't. So that's definitely something to talk to my doctor about. Yeah.
Yeah, I would talk to your doctor just because I know sometimes it feels like you found something and it works. You don't want to mix it up. Even though they're all SSRIs, like Prozac and Zoloft, and they're all sort of the same, they impact everybody differently. And so I think that giving up your sex life and your sex drive isn't, like. Is something to work for, if that's part of it. So I think I would say my prescription for you then would. To be kind of practicing thinking about how do I engage my mind erotically, how do I start to think about other things that turn me on, how do I be more engaged with my partner when I'm masturbating, I'm doing something that's more. Either it's more presence, it's more mindfulness. It's using your brain, getting turned on, and then also talking to your doctor, because that's, you know, those are all the different ways. And I want you to continue to have a flourishing sex life, and that's what I recommend. Of course. Thanks for calling, Olivia. I appreciate it. Yeah. So nice to hear from you, Colin, my producer here. Tell me what's up.
Yeah, I just wanted to jump in. I've had the same issues. I. I got on. My doctor prescribed a mix of Zoloft and Lexapro, and it just ran right over my sex drive.
Yeah. Zoloft and Lexapro. So you still on both of them? No.
No. And I talked to my doctor and we switched the Lexapro out for Wellbutrin. And that's.
Yeah. Wellbutrin.
Better for me.
Game changer. It's true. I was actually gonna say that to our caller. And now Amanda's saying this, too. That to El, Olivia, because she said she didn't want to go on another medication. But what doctors sometimes add is Wellbutrin, because WellButrin is the one antidepressant that doesn't cause sexual side effects. So are you saying that you. You went off of the Lexapro, you're still on Zoloft, and then you added the Wellbutrin, and your. Your sex drive came back?
Yeah. Before the problem, it was like, everything. I couldn't get an erection. I had no desire to have sex. Now the hardest thing I deal with, it's. Sometimes it's hard. And it definitely depends, like, even I'll notice, like, time of day, like, how recently I've taken my meds. The only thing I struggle with now is just getting to an orgasm. Sometimes I can't. Orgasm?
Yeah. And you never had that before?
No.
No. And this is the kind of thing that you are. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting. They put you on both SSRIs, but it is true that there were years where I tried different things and different medications, and it's sort of a process to go to your doctor, but you have to sort of stick with it, because I don't think it's worth it to kind of give up your sex drive and your connection and your orgasm. And I also think that sometimes doctors talk about taking, like, a vacation. This is. Again, talk to your doctor about this, but you could take a, you know, a little vacation from your medication or, like, take it later in the day or earlier in the morning, you know, or miss it. Like, take. Skip a dose when, you know, like, it's the weekend. And so there's ways you can play with it. But, yeah, it feels physical. Right. Like, you feel like you're getting turned on and it's just not happening. Yeah.
Yeah. It's weird. It's such a weird feeling.
It is. And I'm also wondering, though, if there is a way that you could talk to your doctor about taking just, like, a little bit less. Like, even, like, a third less. They can break pills in half. You can do certain things because that can also really bring your sex drive back. It's just sometimes just a little bit too much. And I also think our doses. I was actually just reading this article today about how. And I was gonna say this to Olivia, if she's still listening, that the way a lot of these drugs were tested. We do not test them on women. And so sometimes women are given the same doses as men, but they're finding that those doses are too much and that they didn't test it on women because of hormones and said, oh, we don't want to disrupt women's hormones, but that's actually why we metabolize medications differently. And so it's like one in ten Americans take an antidepressant. 23% of women in their 40s and 50s take an antidepressant, a higher percentage than any other group. And men say all the time, too, that this also impacts their sex drive. So I know that if it's something just like everything else, something that you value in your life, that you could continue to talk to your doctor about it. And there's always new medications coming out. So I'd recommend that to you, Colin, if it still happens. There's something in knowing that you're on top of it that could also help you. Cause we don't know, like, nature, nurture, placebo, the medication. But you become wired, unfortunately. So easy, easily, like, something happens, and we're like, this is now my state. That's what I recommend. So you have consistent clitoral stimulation. I mean, the first time I tried it, I was blown away. Well, now we've. I've introduced the Nova 2, which is truly next level. It's packed with new features. So now when you insert the Nova, it bends and locks into shape to fit. Fit your body perfectly. Then the new external stimulator is extra wide, which means you get even more vibes to your vulva and your clitoris. But forget about the tech details. Let me tell you how it feels. You can have a truly awesome blended orgasm. And they even reshape the handle so you can move exactly where you need it. Check it out@sexwithemily.com we vibe. Then you'll get why I'm loving the Nova 2. Check it out today. That's sexwithemily.com w e v I B.
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That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. And if you love the show, please, like, subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. And hey, share this with a friend or a partner. It might just spark something. It usually does is you can find me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and X. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email, so sign up@sexwithemily.com for free guides and articles and more ways to prioritize your pleasure.