Will Work For Orgasms: An SWE Team Show

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Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. It just wouldn't be the new year without some good old fashioned sex resolutions. So the Sex with Emily team is sharing their goals for 2017. Opening up about the tips, tricks, toys, all the things we can't wait for. Also answering your emails. I love when the team is here. Thanks so much for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my.

The women know about shrink.

Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to Sex with Emily.com, where you can have a goddamn party there. Because we have so much going on. We've got blogs, you got videos. We got stuff. We got everything. You there, there that you want to have a great and amazing sex life and relationship. So I'm not trying to talk like this. I'm a little sick. Ish. But I'm just gonna go with that. My voice is kind of sexy today. We'll go with that. But it is me. Also, you can follow us on social media as, you know, huge fan of everything now. God, Snap, Instagram.

Facebook. It's all at sex with Emily. Facebook.com sexemily and I'm here with my amazing team, which I'm gonna get into in a minute. You guys can all just say hi.

Hi.

Hey.

I love you all this. You guys always say, we did a poll and you're like, oh, I love the team. I love the team. Well, I love the goddamn team. We're here. You're gonna live for this show. I already know it. Okay? But first I need to tell you about something very, very important. Okay? Valentine's Day, you guys. It is right around the corner because you know how it is. You wake up, you're like, oh, damn, it's tomorrow, and I didn't do anything. Well, I'm giving you, like, almost a month. Ish. No, you got two weeks right now. What's the best Valentine's Day you've ever had? I've given you something. We have a giveaway here. Okay? What made that Valentine's Day so memorable? Was it like a perfect date? Was a great gift, you know? Was it like that special occasion sex? Like, you know, you finally got a blowjob in the car. I was say you finally had anal, but, like, I feel like anal's, like, the new bloat. Everyone says anal. Not everyone, but I feel like everyone's not such a special occasion anymore, but for some of you, maybe it is. So what was it about that memorable Valentine's Day? Because if you email us feedbackexwithemily.com By February 7th, you're going to win a magic wand rechargeable vibrator, which you know is the Mack truck of all vibrators. You want one? Okay, so check that. That's Valentine's Day, and we will be bringing you more Valentine's Day stuff all the next few weeks, all month long. Okay? I have the team here. I'm very excited because we have an awesome, awesome show planned for today. We've got some sex in the news. We're Gonna hear from them on just some really important things, how they've learned and how they've grown this year and some sex tips and stuff like that. But first, we're gonna do a little bit sex in the news. Correct? Mm. All right. This is you guys. I wanted to see how you feel about this. So this actually is kind of a selfish sex in the news. It's a new policy taking place next week in the sex in the office. No. Okay. Scientists have weighed in on the pros and cons of masturbating at work. No one in their right mind would whip it out and just start fiercely masturbating at their desk at work. Why would they? That'd be ridiculous. That said, maybe you'd be surprised to hear that some British psychologists are advocating for there to be masturbation breaks in workplaces so that people can get their jollies in the middle of the day to increase productivity, much like eating a muffin in the break room or taking a cigarette break. So they think. These psychologists think it'll be very effective at work. Be self motivational reward. And people would be less aggressive. They'd be at higher productivity levels, more smiling. What do you guys think about this? I think you're already smiling all the time. We only one bathroom too. Although the interesting part about this, I thought is your part of your job, a big part of your job is masturbating. You, like, literally, like, you have to masturbate your job, but not in the office. And I don't care if you do, actually. But we don't have to implement it.

Well, the bathroom here is. You can hear everything that's going on in there, and it's pretty close to where we're working. So, I mean, unless we're all really good, really quiet masturbators, I know that Madison likes to go to the closet. Not here at work. At home. So sorry, guys.

I was like, not here at work. Why you have to tell people that. Jamie, wait.

Okay. Who here is masturbated at work? Raise your hand.

I mean, I haven't. But if you're going to put in this policy, then I guess I must wait.

Masturbate enough.

I've used the magic wand at work, but it was on my back and shoulders and not on my vagina. But there were a couple times where people have walked in the ma. Like the magic wand is like, plugged in next to my desk and they're like, what the. I was like, no, really, like bat kink.

Okay.

I masturbated work Once. Oh, you guys weren't here.

Well, that makes sense.

Does that matter?

I don't think so.

I think we were beginning. There was nothing here. And I was like, moving in and I was like, oh, there's some toys.

You had a break in the office.

Yeah, it kind of gave me some extra. I was like. I was like, organizing or something.

Just hope it's not the same magic wand that I've been using on my back.

No, I've got my own. I've got my own. But you guys, that's weird. Can you imagine if, like, did you masturbate today? It's like you were late and you didn't masturbate this week. Like, how are you going to enforce that?

My question is. So if there are, there are to be masturbation breaks, would you know if someone is taking their masturbation break or their regular break? Like, would it be kind of awkward to know, like, hey, like, I'm gonna go wank one out right now. Oh, I got the 2pm slot. Like, good luck. Like, you know, kind of where they.

All be doing it in their car. And then if people were really late, like, you'd be like, oh, what were you doing in the bathroom? I just think. I think people have their own porn. Probably your phone.

BYO porn.

Yeah, yeah.

Magazines or something.

BYO Fleshlight, for that matter.

Magazines in the bathroom.

Actually, I do have an interesting story about this. One of my friends got a job. She used to work at like, sex toy stores and stuff like that. Got a. In corporate America where she gets to work at like 7am and on her, like in her second week, she found semen on the toilet in like the public restroom and was semen.

It wasn't like a yeast infection.

I mean, I think that the. The amount. The amount and consistency of it. Because while what you're referring to, which I'm not going to say is like slimy and clunky, but it's not like it doesn't get like clumpy, but it doesn't like.

I get it. She saw semen.

She was like, that semen. And she works with like a bunch of adults. Like, she's the youngest person. That means that one of. Yeah, I mean, like adults here. Adults. And so it means that one of her, you know, like, whatever, like her superiors was in there whacking one out, couldn't even be bothered to wipe off the toilet seat. So my mind immediately goes to like, what are the cleanliness. What are the hygiene rules for this?

Yeah, I think if they're really interested in their clients, like, being in their employees being, like, healthier and having more positive of mindset. Like, they could give them. What?

Give them a gym pass.

Gym pass. Or give them, like a discount to some, like, sex toy store or something. I don't think this would go over well, but it made me think because it was like, you know, we. That is part of your job here. Masturbating. But no one's upset about it, really. No, no. And you don't have to do it here. Although you could. If we weren't here, you could do that. Okay. We've talked about masturbation at work. I just, you know, good luck. I mean, I'm all for master. I think that they need to talk about in schools, and maybe when they start in schools, it'll make sense in the workplace. But I don't think it's gonna fly except for this workplace. Just that it's an important part of our job. Okay. Speaking of our job, I'm excited that you're all here. My amazing team who make Sex with Emily happen. Everyone can go around the room. We're gonna go around in the room in a circle. And I. I'm excited to have you guys here because we actually, first of all, we planned on doing the show in December, but I had the spider bite incident, as you recall, which kind of set things back. I was in the hospital, had to postpone it. But I'm very excited, actually, that we're doing it today because I can say that I love you guys. I really do. I'm. I. We had the best year ever last year. That 2016 was the best Sex with Emily year across the board. And it's because of my amazing team. I mean, really, we had more listeners, so it's because of my listeners as well, of course. And more listeners, more following in social media, more people emailing us or people like, reading website and like, sending us questions. And so I couldn't do without all of you and my listeners. It was just an incredible year. So I'm glad that now I. We can all be here and I can thank you and tell you how much I love you. And we spend a lot of time together. I mean, we do. We all pretty. We don't masturbate together yet. But, you know, we're also like. Yeah, I'm not saying yet. We're going to.

You got. You guys are with me in spirit.

I'm going to, but thank you.

I can't say that I haven't, like, at least during sex Thought about Emily once, like, just because, you know, good. It's everything you learn kind of thinking like, oh, my God, we were just talking about this in the office the other day or something like that.

No, I have a lot of friends who are like, don't think this is weird, but I was having sex with my husband and I thought about you. But like, not maybe sexual, that'd be cool. But they're like, oh, I thought about you to use lube or I thought about you. Whatever it is, I'm glad I come up during good times and not bad. But we are. We're very close here. We are. And we grow and we learn and we evolve. We talk a lot in the office about what's going on with us and we know our goals. And now we're growing and we get like new toys or products, try and we discuss those in depth. And I think we had a good year. You guys think you feel like it was a good year? I want to force it down your throats.

I do think that.

How'd you feel about 2016?

I think it was a year of improvement for myself as, you know, a writer, as wanting to get into production and just, you know, being here overall.

Eddie, I'm so glad.

Thanks, Madison.

Okay, well, I think what we're gonna go around. This is my deal. We're gonna go around the table and I want you to tell us exactly who you are, what you do, and what was your resolution last? Cause then we're gonna get into what we're working on our goals, and we're gonna be giving you some tips, getting emails. This is just a chock full show, so. Okay, Madison, tell me who you are, what you do.

Okay.

Last year.

My name is Madison. I am a Gemini pescatarian from Orange county. And what do I do in life? Not a lot, but I work here and I'm the producer and head of content, which means a lot of different things that we're not gonna get into. And my resolution for last year was to improve the quantity and quality of my sexual escapades with my current long term partner. And later we can talk about why that didn't work out.

Okay, Perfect. Okay. Okay, Eddie.

Hi, my name is Eddie. I am from East Los Angeles.

I like that.

I just started, but now I drive like an hour to WeHo. But I love it. And I recently became Emily's personal assistant. And it's honestly like, like an older sister. Not that I'm an older sister that I hang out with all, all the time. We hang out we do. We work on everything.

Changed my life.

I love it.

Awesome. Okay, and what was your resolution last year?

Well, last year to do more anal play that wasn't just, you know, like, penetration.

Okay, we're gonna get in there and get in there. Oh, good. Okay. And Jamie.

Cool.

Hi, I'm Jamie. I am from the Valley, so I don't have to travel too far, which is cool. An Aries. And I love to eat meat. Madison. But no, I do a lot of writing here. I do all the video stuff, so editing, you know, filming, like, putting stuff together. And my sexual resolution was to finally use sex toys as a partner. And that we will also get into.

Okay, that's awesome. That's great. And you guys, if you're not looking at our videos and linking our content, Jamie's been killing it with videos. If you go to our Instagram, we also do, like, little snaps and stuff, but the Instagram videos, and they're on YouTube or wherever. But I love our videos, our Christmas, our holiday videos.

So you can also go to the website, click on the video tab at the top and see pretty much all of our videos.

You can see all of us. If you're like, wait, what does they look like? That's what we look like.

And they're fun. They're very fun.

They're fun. They're really good. They're great. You guys all do great work, you know.

So, Emily, tell us your name. What do you do here?

My name is Emily Morse.

Emily.

And I am the host, the founder, creator of Sex with Emily Chick Flick Productions, llc. And my. I live here in Los Angeles, California. I am a Gemini as well. So Madison. I really get each other on a really deep level. Twins, though, sometimes our twins don't get along when they fight. The twins don't want to get all astrological on you, but okay. So my goal last year was to actually do. Actually keep. Keep it up with the Kegels. It's a new reality show, Keeping up with the Kegels. And Just kidding. So funny. So funny. Sit there, like, tense. Relax. And I think I talked about a previous show that actually I actually did. I've sought me, obviously. Again, you guys with resolutions, it's good to be specific and don't beat yourself up on. So did I do them every single day? No, but I did them enough and frequently, even when I felt the Kegel wagon, which I did, to. To feel really impact with them.

And that.

That, like, it changed. It did really change how I sneeze and peed. I don't do that anymore. And my orgasms are stronger, thank you very much. Okay, so now I want to know, did you guys all achieve your resolutions last year and what did you learn about yourself last year? Because, you guys, I just want to reinforce to everyone, like, we, I mean, yes, as a job, we work hard. Like, you know, gotta force massive to like, take lunch and to masturbate. But no, you all are here. Like, you're on time, you work hard. But, like, we do really, like, we don't ever talk to a toy, write about a toy, a product, a position, something that we haven't tried. And so we discussed it. We've had long editorial meetings on Fridays, you know, we. During the week. So we get into it. And so we, you know, we know, we tell resolutions that we help each other. Jamie likes to fantasize how we drink sex. All that I'm helping her, but I want to think about. So tell me about your resolutions. Did you achieve them? Whoever wants to go first? What'd you learn about yourself last year?

I'll go first.

Sure.

Okay, so put a lot of thought into this. The answer is no. I did not necessarily achieve what I wanted to do last year. And a big part of that, as Emily mentioned, was I tried to do just this overall theme of, like, I want to improve the quality and quant. But, like, what does that mean exactly? Because my boyfriend, as we talked about before, has an exceptionally high sex drive. Not just like, oh, he's a 20 something guy, but like, he's got a, like, killer sex drive and I don't. And so quality and quantity were different between the two of us because I have, like, what I think is ideal and he has what he thinks is ideal. And we kept having trouble finding the middle ground for that. So that was really difficult. And it made it hard to feel like I achieved anything. Even if I felt that I was having better sex in the moment. There are two people to be a part of that. So that was really tough.

Something I learned about myself last year. I think I'm really big into, like, sex positivity and sexual empowerment and things like that. And I think I get a little bit overwhelmed by the idea that sexual empowerment is wanting to have sex. Because for me, that felt like it was something that I was missing. Like, well, what's wrong with me? You know, like, I want to be sexually empowered, but I don't necessarily want to have sex all the time and want to do all these crazy things. But, like, sexual empowerment is about knowing what you want and being Comfortable in it and achieving whatever that means for you. So a lot of times I think that people are like, oh, you're not sexually empowered. You're not having sex all the time and having sex a bunch of different ways, and you're, you know, like. And that's not what that means. And so I had to get out of my own head and start thinking, what do. What do you want?

Yeah, that's healthy.

Not. Yeah, not about, like, what other people think is, like, a good amount of time to have sex. Like, what. What means quality and all of that to me. So I'm constantly learning that. And that was my lesson.

That's true. And I think. Yeah, I know it is. It's true. And I think, like, the quantity and quality, that's a huge goal. Like, you know what I mean? So when you're, like, specific, I think we'll get into what you have for this year.

Yes, totally.

It's really good to, like. And then you have your resolutions. It's like, to narrow it down, like, we can all say, like, I want to lose weight or I want to work out every day, but it's kind of like, I will go to the gym three days a week, and I want, you know, and I'm going to take this class, so be. Be specific, you know, so. Okay, Jamie.

Yes. So I unfortunately, also did not complete my goal. It's difficult for me to be able to use sex toys during sex because I am single. I've been that way for a while and, like, I don't know always when I'm gonna get laid, to be honest. And a lot of times it's not at my house. So I don't have a huge going out.

Purse, trunk, trunk. Leave them in the trunk.

Why? Also, Uber everywhere. Can't leave it in the car or the trunk of the Uber. So, you know, and so it's like, I don't really know. So I don't. Like, there will be times I'll be like, o, oh, my gosh. Like, I wish I just, like, slipped this in my purse or whatever. However, though, I do now always in my purse carry condoms, lube, and arousal gel.

Which arousal gel do you use?

System gel.

Oh, you do? Do you love it?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. We haven't even talked about this.

So, I mean, I guess if that counts, but I don't think that really.

Oh, dude, that's a lot. Your wallet must be pretty bulky.

Well, yeah, I mean, in my purse, it's got. You know, it's also really funny when People are like, oh, can I like get your chapstick out of your purse? I'm like, sure. And I'm like, don't take the red tube.

Oh, yeah, that's so. Oh my God, that's. But at least you have the condoms and the lube.

Yeah. So I guess I learned that, like, I mean, as long as I be a little bit prepared and then also like, I guess I just gotta start like either buy a bigger purse or just like start really like having more sex at my own house.

Right? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Or yeah. I mean, I know people who bring toys on the date. Bring like a little, A little touch or a we vibe touch or tango.

Or wasn't it Celeste or Celeste and.

Danielle who are from Bike? My Somatica coaches. She brings the magic wand on all our dates. She's literally like, she probably has a big bag, but she throws the magic wands.

Gotta be a huge bag.

Yeah, it's a big bag, but. And my friend, I had dinner with her a few months ago. She was going on her first Tinder date. She had a Mimi in her purse, like the hand sized little vibrator. She was, look what I am. Like, yeah, I love that toy. Nothing. But you don't carry a purse really, do you?

I mean, I. Okay, I had it like, not that I don't really want to get into the story, but basically when I was younger I had a really big purse and it got stolen from a party. And like, it's always just like, I don't want to have a big purse. Something that's looming like that.

Like, like trying to get her to bring toys small.

And like also like, you know, I was grew up being like a tomboy. So it was not a big, huge like, oh, let's have this purse around. But I've gotten better at it. I'm like, as more as I grow into adulthood. I know, I got it.

Oh, I got it. Then like, like, how could she do that? But that's good. So use more toys. That was really. What did you learn about yourself last year?

Well, I guess I learned that like, I. Even though people are like, when are you finally going to like stop dating casually? When you finally going to do this? I'm just finally like, honestly, this is just me now and I'm don't really have to answer to anyone. And so I kind of just got more comfortable with that. So.

Good.

Yeah.

And saying like, this is what I don't want. The relationship, that's hard with a lot of pressure that comes down.

Yeah. Especially, like, from, like, parents and, like, all my friends in relationships. And I'm just like, I'm chilling. I'm cool.

Good for you. That's a good one.

Don't do it. It's a trap.

Yeah, it is.

Just when you want to. I think a lot of you are socialized, thinking that they need that. So, of course, everyone's asking you that and you're like, I will be single, I will sleep with many people and carry my sex toys around in 2017. Okay. Eddie.

Hi.

Hi. Hi, Eddie. Hey. Hey. So tell me about your. Did you achieve your resolution last year? More anal penetration?

I did anal play.

Anal play?

More anal penetration. You know, more than I can remember, but that's okay. But, yeah, I did do more anal play.

Without penetration. That was your question?

Without penetration? Yes, I did more analingus. That was interesting. Both, like, you know, receiving and giving, and it was actually pretty fun. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I would, but I really did.

Okay, good.

And, I mean, the black pearl came into my life.

Right? Vibratex Black pearl.

Yeah. Anal beads. They're. They're my lifesavers right now.

Really. Still, you love the anal beads. That's cool.

That's so good.

They do feel so good. I don't know that I've used anal beads in a while, if I ever have. Long time ago.

They're. They're a unique toy.

You like the sport sheets one, right?

I do, yes. From the. Their sex spent line, I believe.

That's cool, Eddie. So with anal beads, tell me, like, how do you use them? What is it, like, question? Because I have always kind of wondered. It reminded me of, like, getting a motorboat started where you, like, pull that thing, like. But, like, how do you use them? And what feels good about it?

That's a great question, Madison.

That's a great analogy because that's actually very accurate. You. You do put. You do pull them like that. Because I put them in and you. The base is flared and, like, I kind of put it between my fingertips. So, like, obviously it's not going to go anywhere, really. And I kind of just pull it out sometimes, you know, I'll do it quicker. So, I mean, it kind of.

When you're masturbating or.

Yeah, so it is kind of like penetration, but it really isn't because, like, you can just leave them in there and just walk around and, like, that feels good to me.

Oh, like Hegel balls.

Yeah. Like, I'll just be cleaning my Room and I'll have them in. And like, you can feel like if, like if you bend down, like, more pressure goes onto them, like, I guess your muscles and like your like just colon, like inside, like it just moves. Yeah.

There's a lot of sense when you.

Have it in there.

Yeah.

So the easiest movements just feel so good with it.

So are they like firm? Like, they're kind of like more of like wire. Like, so you can put them in that way or like, are they like.

So I guess. Yes, they are silicone beads. And the ones that I have are like, it just has three. So like it's a small one, a medium one, and then the large one. So, you know, you can just keep one in, but, like, they're probably gonna fall out. So you need to put like all three in, at least the ones I have.

And then just like walk around in them.

Yeah.

Nice.

Here's my question. It's not like like a pearl necklace kind of where it's like free flowing because then how would you. How would you get those in?

I know.

I always wanted to know and important. They never show you that part, right?

They don't. They don't. And you have to be careful. Like the ones that just to pull out.

Yeah, it's pretty firm and that's good. The. The base of it, like the flared base.

It's like.

I would say it's probably like. Well, the ones I have are 6 to 7 inches. So I mean, maybe like the average penis or maybe a little bit more than the average penis, but.

Okay.

I mean, I can.

I can take it. That is more that. That is. I could take it. So that is. So you met your goal because you wanted more anal play other than I did.

And I think I need to start using those with more people as well.

I think that you can. I think that you will. I think that we have. We. We've. We've anal beads plentiful.

Okay.

Spread the plenty.

Anal beads aplenty. It was funny though, being with Eddie. We went to the and me trade show this weekend. He was like, I love their anal beads. I love their anal toys. I love that. Like, he knew.

He said, he's our anal rep. Yeah.

He'S our anal rep. I love that. Okay, so what else do you got? That. And then what was your. What did you learn anything about yourself this year?

I learned that I really like to experiment with sex and my body. You know, like some people experiment with drugs and pills and all that, but I like to experiment with sex.

That's Great.

Like, it's like my millennial thing to do, I guess. Experiment with sex.

Rather.

Really grown a lot than anything else. I mean, Eddie's been here. Well, you were an intern. Eddie's been here, like, a year and a half now. Intern. Went away for a little while, came back. That's good. Okay, guys, this is just learning so much. Okay, you guys, next we're getting into the toys that we were obsessed with last year. Our favorite products of the year. But first.

Okay, but back to the show. Riverdale looks like the perfect safe, wholesome small town. But it's got huge secrets. It all starts off with a new year at Riverdale High and the mysterious murder of one of its most popular kids. Everyone becomes a suspect. And that's when the sordid details about what everyone really did over the summer and with whom begin to surface. Wait till you find out what the people in this town are hiding. Don't miss the must see new drama, Riverdale, Thursdays at 9, 8 Central, only on the CW.

Yeah, I just feel like they're bringing.

Watch it.

They're bringing, like, everything back. Like, I'm just waiting for Family Circus, the drama. The hot new teen drama. Maybe Marmaduke.

Oh, my God, you guys. Did you ever read Family Circus? It was so bad. I used to read. It was so dumb. It was like there was nothing happening. Like, you want some eggs? Dad will bring you eggs. Like, that was the whole thing. I wanted eggs, too. Like they were flying kites. Do you want to fight? Yeah, but what was it about? Family circle. Random.

It was just about these timeless people in their little family ghost bubble, I guess.

Yeah, no, it was good.

At least Baby Blues. The kids grew up, you know? Like, did they sort of. They, like, stopped at, like, 16. They had, like, some Benjamin Button stuff going on or something.

But, like, Archie Comic. You guys. You guys know Archie comic books? No, not at all.

Like, okay, I've heard it referenced. I know there's, like, the archetypes of, like. Like the Betty and Veronica thing I've heard before, but I.

But she was pretty. They were both pretty. They had the same fate. Literally the same face, a different color hair. That was the artist. He was very creative. Like, you could just. You couldn't tell the difference. So I was like, I'm Veronica because I have dark hair. Okay. They're bringing everything back. But you know, what's. New toys. We had a lot of new toys. So my goal and obsession for this year, which hasn't happened yet, I didn't get to mine. Was to freaking. Every time we get a box here at one, it's a problem because I'm not always in the office every day. But we get so many boxes, which I think are hilarious, sent to us every day. Like, we literally did have a day with, like, 25 pounds of toys delivered to us. I say that, but it is. It is true. Like, it was, like, Fleshlights one day, and people send us stuff that we don't necessarily ask for, too. Like, I say we try everything. We don't just, like, talk about a product like that if we don't like it. So there's a lot of toys that come out the door here. Come in the door and go out when you guys take them home or when you masturbate in the bathroom with them. Whatever. I'm cool with it. But. Okay, guys, I want to know, what was your favorite sex toy slash, product of last year?

Okay, I'll go ahead and start.

Yes, Madison.

So I had to kind of, like, really, like, trace it all back, you know? So I was sitting there like, all right, so, like, January, February, like, March. Okay. I think that overall, the products that sticks my mind the most was the We Vibe Nova, which was the dual stimulation one. And I know we did. Like, we. I think we might have done, like, a full podcast review of it of the Rave and the Nova.

Yeah.

Yeah. So you guys will have to. I forgot, like, what it's called. I think it's, like, G spot. Finding your G spot. But that toy is amazing as far as dual simulation goes, because a lot of people, they want to pleasure their G spot, et cetera, et cetera. But the thing is, is just going in straight for the G spot, sometimes it doesn't work. You need to mix a little familiar with the unfamiliar. And I'm a big fan of, like. Like, blended orgasms. Like, I can have them pretty easily if I'm working on it, if I, like, you know, hit all the right spots and all that. The We Vibe Nova, the cool thing about it is that the little clitoral appendage that comes up never leaves your clitoris. It doesn't matter how wild you're getting with that shaft. Like, you could be, like, jackhammering yourself with it and rip your wrists. And that little clitoral thing will never leave. It just sits there and buzzes against it. It's amazing. It's like a gym. It's like a. An Olympic gymnast for sex toys. And it's really flexible. Flexible. And there was.

Cool.

Yeah.

There was one time where I, like, Didn't even fully put it in my vagina. And I came like four times.

Oh, my God.

Well, I think we have a winner there.

We have a winner.

Yeah. So there's that one for sure. Plus, it's like, it's we vibe, so it's all high quality. It's got all the different vibration patterns and settings and what have you. Also, the sports sheets. Doggy style strap was one of my favorites. Not just because Emily and I demonstrated it like 12 times throughout 2016. 2016, whatever for will Forever Go down is the year Emily mounted me. I did, like, multiple times. I was being mounted, like, every show. I know it's not over, but also, I hate doggy style. Like, I really, truly hate doggy style, like, from the bottom of my heart. Everyone look at me. I don't care.

I didn't know you hated it before.

I don't like it for one thing. Me on all fours. Like, hey, I feel like a cow. Like, my boobs are swinging like udders. Like, it's not attractive by any means. Two, I'm not naturally gifted in the balance department. It is very easy for me to lose my, like, lose my footing and fall over. And, like, there's nothing sexy about that either. I know the ramp. We'll get to the ramp. That's in this year. And the doggy style strap just, like, helps in a lot of ways. It, like, helps you, like, remain more upright and, like, you start to realize that doggy style, you're not meant to be penetrated at a 90 degree angle.

Right.

It's 45 degrees, is much more optimal for G spot stimulation, ladies. Plus, it's better on your back and your knees. And if you've got the body of a 57 year old like I do, then you're gonna be happy about that after a while.

So. I love that you love that.

Oh, yeah. I'm all about it.

And your friend must be.

Emily strapped me into it at a trade show in March and I just never let go.

Check that out on our Instagram as well. Yes, that was a good day.

And yeah, Wes likes it.

Okay, so that's your favorite. That's good. Okay, Jamie.

Mine's more like, just honestly, lube in general. Like, I never really used it before this year. And now, like I said, I carry it in my purse all the time. Like, it. I. I always thought it was weird too, because whenever I would start to have sex with someone, I'm like, can we have a glass of water in here? I was like, I get extremely parched right during. And like, it's. And even, like, with blow jobs and stuff, when you don't have enough saliva, you kind of feel like, well, what do I do? Like, the whole point of this is my saliva and stuff like that. But, you know, lube just fixes all of your problems.

It really does fix.

It makes it so much better. And there's, like, so many different kinds of lubes. There's loops that taste good. There's loops that get cold. There's loops that get warm. Like, it's. It's honestly, like, they're like, if I could just bathe in lube, I would. But don't do that because you have to wash it off.

So what's your favorite? Is there a kind that you like or.

I mean, I really like. System Joe has a natural love line. I like that a lot because it's, like, organic. And I also, like, feel very weird about stuff that I'm putting, like, in those sensitive areas of my body. I do really like. Also, they have this, like, watermelon flavored one. It's from their H2O line. And, like, it just tastes so good, honestly. It really does. Yeah.

Like, would you do a blow job to do the lip trick? We put your lips. Yeah.

And it smells better. Like the guy. Especially if they're not expecting it. They're like, oh, like, it's watermelon. It's like, yeah, it is like, you know, so it's just better also, I guess from toy point of view, I really like the mistake. Rechargeable from Vibratex wand. Yeah, I really like the mystic one. It's. It's a good one. I didn't, like, expect to like it as much because I actually was not, like, the biggest fan of the Magic Wand, just because it's just so big and it's, like, just like, so loud and everything. And the Mystic Wand is just. It's easier to press the buttons. It curves to you, and it's, like, not quite as intense. And I like that one. Right.

I like it. It's a good, strong wand. If you don't, like, want to carry the whole.

Yeah, exactly.

No, that's good. And the way it reaches. I agree. God, it's so hard to choose. I'm glad I'm not going next. Okay. Those are good choices. Okay. Eddie.

So, I mean, I've been praising the Black Pearl for a year now, but I think it's still one of my favorites. Just.

That's also Vibratex.

Yeah, it is Vibratex.

Okay.

Way to go, baby, let's talk about it.

It's a prostate toy.

So the Black pearl is a prostate massager. So yes, it is for men. Unless women start growing prostates, which would be cool. I would probably enjoy anal more.

It was on my Christmas list.

Someone was naughty and didn't get it, but it really did help me find my prostate. Because, you know, men, we have prostates, but a lot of us don't really play with it. And there's that whole stereotype, like, oh, if a straight man plays with it, you know, or like, wants to explore anal or anything, like, you're gay. So I think that toy, you know, it did help a lot of men that never wanted to do anal explore it. Because, you know, I read some of the emails, even some of the blogs that we got from, like, like the blog submissions from other. From the listeners. They all talked about it and they all wanted to try it. So I think that toy is, you know, just one of those that are, like, leading the path to anal.

Right. So had you not played with a toy or just this one you liked? Like, is that how you really found it?

I did, because that one, like, it's angled and it. It's meant for your prostate, and other toys aren't meant for your prostate. They're just kind of like, hit it or like, go around it.

Yeah.

And this one's, like, made for it.

Yeah, right? That's good. Oh, Eddie is prostate. That's sweet. I do feel like that the emails. No, I do feel like there's a change this year. If there was any change this year. I think that the changes was that.

That men, straight men are asking more about prostate play and they're not, like, ashamed, Like, I want to try it. I'm interested. Where before I had to do the whole, like, rigamarole.

I love that word.

Who says.

Like, my grandma.

Can you spell that?

Rigamarole. They're like, oh, makes me gay. I don't know. That make people. Guys are so weird to go. It's for exiting, not for entering. But the guy's like, oh, I heard it's really good. I could have a killer orgasm, you know? Right.

It's great. So I recommend it for all men.

Like it.

Eddie.

That's good. Okay, so, gosh, this is our. My favorite sex toy slash product of the year. I mean, my. Must I pick one? I had a good year.

I have to say. The womanizer. It really was the gift that kept on giving. Because the amazing thing about the womanizer toy is that it was I've been doing this for 12 years and I go to all these trade shows and I see the toys before you do and go to. You know, I'm gonna brag, but. But you see what's new and exciting and typically like they're all kind. Like a lot of the toys look the same or you know, you know the brands like that are really good quality. Like anytime like we've. I put something out of Vibratex like the ones you work with. And there's some are like, oh, that's a knockoff of someone. They're not so great. But the womanizer was like something I've never ever seen because it's. Their whole thing is that it's indirect stimulation to clitoris. So it's like this little sucking thing that like goes around your clitoris. They call it pleasure air technology. Whatever this technology is, it's true. It's like I've given to so many people. Haven't tried it. We've all tried it. It's like those. If you would like this, a 60 second orgasm. And it's a different kind of orgasm. Like it just gets all warm and I don't know, it's just. It's cool the way it just loves up my clitoris. So I have to do the Womanizer and then. Oh my God, this is so hard. What else?

Since I've really bit into my Kegels. You guys know the In Control, that was kind of a care from last year. The. The pour moi.

The intensity.

Intensity. What I say In Control. The intensity is the one that does your calculus exercises for you. And I said, I did do them like probably three to four days a week for the entire year. You lay back in bed. But I get really like. It's like me with working out, I'm like, okay, I can do that. But I can also wear Kegel balls during the day. So then I like work Kegel balls during the day. As you've heard my stories about them falling out onto the ground when I was starting. But I really love fun toys. Kaggle balls, they're called G balls, I think. And they're so cool because you can control them with an app. You can measure your progress. They just feel good. They're silicone. I liked them. They were like a little accoutrement. So I bought strong Kegels. And the happy clitoris.

Do those vibrate? The G toys, they vibrate.

They. Oh, they're also a vibrator. You could use them clitorally. I mean you clearly you could Use it like, it. Technically, you could use it as a vibrator.

Yeah, but did you, like, turn the vibration on when you were, like, doing stuff?

Yeah, I know when I got distracted.

The whole thing about Ben wabbles is, like, when you, like, move, they, like, like, do this little, like, humming thing. But, like, this is way better.

Do it for me. These are those Benoit balls? Those are all. But, like, you know, a lot of people talk about, like, moving your female energy through you when you use, like, inside you, like in 50 Shades of Gray, but they don't turn me on. I mean, this does with the buzzing thing. They buzz. It has an app that measures your progress. You can see, like, how squeeze. You're, like. Actually, you could see that your musk. Like a Fitbit for your vagina that you could see that your Fitbit is getting stronger over time. It's just cool. It's a cool technology. All the fun toys, stuff you wake.

Up in the morning, it's like, congratulations, your Kegel tactile strength has increased overnight.

I'm like, I'm so much stronger today. Like, I'm gonna go pick up that pen with my.

No.

And they're like, colors, people.

They have really cool colors.

Yeah, they're so pretty.

I know they are pretty.

People are like, hey, Em, how you doing? You're like, great. My vagina. My vagina strength is up 2%.

It's really. Yeah. Someone takes your phone. I'm like, that is it. But it's fun when you can measure it. I think it's an incentive to get you going. And then what else does it do? It does all these cool tricks. It's just fun. I'm all about. Okay, so let's talk about what you guys are looking forward to. What are you looking for for next year? Toys. Why? We talk about goals, too.

Yeah, we'll talk about sex and relationship goals, but first, we.

Yeah. Okay. So what product, toy, like, anything you're looking forward to for next year?

Well, I want to finally use a toy during sex. I'm gonna make it happen.

You have never yet.

No, I have not yet.

Okay.

So I want to definitely finally use one. I want to use my Mimi, because I use that still a lot.

I. I love the Mimi.

Yeah. And it's small. I don't think it would be intimidating to anyone that I'm having sex with, because I know the people that I normally have sex with, like. Like, I've asked them if they'd be open to it, but it's like, we've never Done it because they've never been at my house during it, so I want to use that. And then I also really, really, really want to use the sports sheets sex sling. Like, I want. Did we get you bad? I just haven't took it home. It's still in the closet, but.

Well, that you can't carry in your purse.

But that I can't carry my purse. But if I know I'm gonna have some kind of excursion, you know, I'll just. Just bring a duffel bag or something.

The sex swing sling looks cool.

So fun.

I know. We have a video of that, too, on our. It's the holiday video, right? Or no, no, it's a separate video on Instagram.

Yeah, it's on the sports sheets website. I mean, it's. Honestly, I could just sit in it anyways, but I definitely want to sit in it during sex. My goal. It's happening.

This sling?

Yeah.

Okay. That's good, Eddie.

So for sex toys, I would say, you know, keep using my Fleshlights and maybe experiment with more prostate massagers and just make maybe more butt plugs, because I know they have, like, those huge ones that maybe there's, like, vibrating butt plugs. Yeah, they are. There are out there. So I don't know if I would go that extreme with, like, the really big ones, but, you know, I would really like to get into the habit of using them. Maybe not every day, but just, you know, because why?

Because it just feels so good.

I mean, it feels good, and I feel like. Like, if I have it in, it'll kind of remind me to, like, do, like, some form of, like, I guess, Kegels for myself. Kind of, like, it would help me.

Like, reminder something's my butt. Yes, that's good. Okay, my turn. Oh, no.

Oh, I haven't gone yet.

No, no. Oh, you go first. I don't even know what I'm gonna say it.

Okay. Well, after, actually, I changed my answer halfway through because I was inspired by what Emily was talking about. I have actually never used kegel balls ever. I just don't even think about it. But I was just thinking, like, hey, you know, if I. Along the same lines as Eddie, like, maybe if I put a little bit more time and attention into my vagina.

Yeah.

I'll be more, like, aware of it as a part of my body as opposed to this, like, other being who has her own desires and wants and fickle nature.

Right.

So maybe I, like. If I, like, can that connect that way? That would be pretty good. But, like, having something in Your vagina, where you're like. That's like a nice. Like, a nice sensation. Like a nice little, like, reminder, like, hey, I'm down here and I'm working hard. Like, that would be cool.

I have an extra one for you.

Yeah. Oh, do you?

Because I. Well, coming up next. Oh, I will tell you my story about my year, what I'm looking forward to. But, yeah, I have one for you.

Yeah.

And then my other thing is Emily gifted me with a Liberator, and she brought up the point that I didn't send anything. And I was gonna take a picture and send it to you of me, like, on it. Like, thank you. And I totally forgot, but I've already used it a ton.

It's a Liberator. It's the ramp.

It's the ramp.

So Liberator makes, like, sex furniture. They make the wedge that everyone kind of knows is a sex wedge, which is great to, like, position yourself. The ramp they sent me, like, a few years ago. I never used it. It was like, my house was so small, and I was moving out. I never used it. But it's huge. It's gigantic. And I left it on a chair, like, three weeks ago. Yeah, I can. And I just remembered, I'm like.

I came back from vacation and was like, oh, my God. And, like, took it home immediately. And what's funny is I brought it home right before my boyfriend was going out of town. So we, like, you know, rang it in, whatever. And then I used it as a back. As a back ramp for me laying in bed. Because I have been watching Netflix. Well, no, I've been having, like, a lot of, like, back and shoulder pain. So I was, like, using it to lay, and it's, like, amazing upright. And I, like, use it to, like, as a cushion for sitting on. And then obviously for the sex.

Your parents come to visit, you know?

Totally. I'm like, hey, guys, like, forget stools. I got a Liberator Ramp for you to sit on. I put a sheet on it. No, we really did.

That's good. Good.

Yeah. So actually, you could take it back. It doesn't have anything.

Totally joking. I just was like. I was like, oh, my God, I forgot.

It's amazing. Everyone should have one. I wish that they were, like, a little bit more accessible for people. Yeah, I think that it's something.

That one was expensive, I think. But you could get a wedge. Yeah, no, because. Because positioning. Using a positioning tool during sex, for a lot of women, you just. It's hard to reach your, like, your G, spot your giant. Different parts of your, like, entire body. Like, anal sex during doggy's tail. Everything. It can help you if you elevate your pelvis or your knees. If your knees get uncomfortable. Would you give me a blow job on the floor? Put your.

Oh, my God. It revolutionized floor sex for us because we. Our bed creaks a lot, which is fine. But if it's like 3am like, our neighbors are not having it with, like, that. It's awful. You need 40 turn down here. I know. I need. Like, we talked about that earlier in my life.

We're like, it's lube for your furniture.

Yeah, Eddie. So would I use it? No, not. Definitely not. But the Liberator wedge is great because, like, the guy can actually lay back on it, and it elevates his body, making it so, like, if in, like, cowgirl position.

Right.

All of a sudden, his pelvis is, like, elevated, putting more pressure on my clitoris, which is amazing.

Right.

And I didn't think to use it that way. It's always, like, demonstrated in terms of, like, doggy style and, like, for the woman.

Oh, no, no. But I'm just saying this is just something. No, it's something that I learned just by doing it. I never thought of it that way. Yeah, we were just, like, so glad. Work it out.

I just want you to be happy with it.

So, Emily. What? For the new year?

For the new year. Okay, so this is the deal. So I. Last night. So I haven't. I've been sick the last few days. I literally did not leave my house for three days, which is so freaking boring to not talk and to not leave your house. But except for Eddie did come over one day. That was fun. So what I did was I moved into a new home, which I love. I'm really excited. I. I was living in a very smaller place. I've got a place with, like, there's room for everything. The one box I've not tackled yet, which is kind of massive. Like, literally, the movers. It's a sex toys. Like, they needed two guys to carry. It's a huge box, and it was still sitting in one of my closets. Like, it's just my second. I'm like, this will be my sex toy closet. So last night, when I couldn't sleep, I'd been sleeping all day. I got up and I, like, literally dumped them all out. And I threw away probably. I mean, I had, like, 10 years of sex toy toys when I moved in my garage, because I moved in from San Francisco. And I, like, parted with a lot that I hadn't used or that were old. Like, you know, I had four versions of the We Vibe, you know, like, the first one, I'm like, oh, but this is like. I think my. Found my old ipod, like, the first iPod from 1999. I found the first We Vibe from 2005, but I got rid of it. I'm like, I don't need all of them, you know, but so I did get rid of it, but then everybody's like, wow, there's so much that I actually have that I. I want to. Because again, if things aren't accessible, they're hard. You're not going to use them. Them like, anything right in your life. That's how you do. Like, my mom's like, put your hats near the door, and you're. Put your. Put your umbrella and put them near the door when you use them and put this in your bed. She's always trying to teach me how to, like, pack my house, like, to, like, organize. So I'm like, if my toys were, like, literally in 16 drawers piled with char, choked by their chargers that weren't even their chargers, how was I going to use them? So I, like, spent. I did a whole snap about it, but I, like, spent so much time on site. So anyway, I had them all laid out, and I realized that, like, I. My goal then is to, like, use the toys that I've had that are like, that I was really excited about that I hadn't used yet or that maybe I only used once. And I want to revisit because I also realized that with. To be honest, with so many toys coming in, I think I'll tell you something. Once I'll be like, oh, that wasn't great. Kind of like a partner. Like, the first day you have sex with someone, it's not always going to be amazing, but I don't think you should write them off. That I'm like, oh. And now that I'm always learning more, I'm like, oh, I could use it this way or that way. So what. What stuck out for me. What stuck out stood out for me was. I don't even know. I'm trying to think, oh, more of the fun toys. So I do know that I have an extra G ball for you. Remember the Fun Toys? Mini one that separates. Yeah, the G Mini. The. The G Mini. I think that's all the mini.

Yeah, it's like.

Yeah, it's.

It opens.

Like, it looks like a. A V, but it curls and you can use it it for, like, dual. You can use it for cheek spot stimulation. You can use it for, like, all different kinds of. It's just really cool. And it's that really cool mint flavor. Flavor color. So I'm gonna try that. I mean, there's so many. I could go on and on.

It's the G Vibe mini.

The G Vibe mini that was really cool by fun toys. And then I found. God, I found that I had so much. I had so many nipple clamps I want to use. I could go. I could just tell you that they're all organized now by cackle balls. Like G Spot toys in one door. Then I have a clitoral door. Then I have a. A whole entire lube, Two drawers of lube, and then arousal gels. That's why I asked which one you liked. It's going to be a good year. So I'm going to. I'm really going to get. I'm going to get into using, like, now they're all prioritized. They're charged my entire house. Oh, the Orkin man came today to spray. Oh, I'm having arachnophobia now. I'm afraid of every insect to spray stuff today. And I literally had vibrators coming out of every wall in my house today. It was fun. Okay. So my. I, you know, I can't be that specific, but I think I'm going to revisit old ones that I'm excited for. Different ones.

Yeah. Once the UV comes out, you're gonna have them all lined up. It's gonna be like an actual sex toy charging factory.

So that's the thing, is that the UV is coming out. I think people like, the UV is something that cleans and sanitizes and stores your toys. And it's the buzz of the show. So, like, the womanizer was the buzz of the show, like, earlier in the year. And the uv, like, it's like a little mini dishwasher, and it uses UV light and you plug it in and it takes, like, I don't know.

Oh, it takes 5 minutes, 10 minutes to clean, but a couple hours to charge.

Yeah, like, anything. But, like, that's the biggest thing when you buy a really expensive toy. You're like, oh, it's dirty. Oh, I didn't charge it, like, all in place. So I actually asked her. I want, like 10 of them for my house so I can have all my toys charged and clean and ready to go. But you know what else do I learned about the UV that you could also put Your cell phone in there to clean it, because it's dirty. Anything that's dirty.

And yeah, there's actually, like, so many germs that live on your sofa because you bring it with you everywhere.

Like, I know. I've been cleaning.

Oh, my God, that's so good to know.

I know. It is really good to know. So that's what I'm excited about this year. All I. I think I'm excited about getting to know my toy, like, really, like, getting into them more, sharing more about how I've used toys that we already know. And then I know there's. I saw some really cool ones I can't talk about at the show that are coming out in the next few months, but I can't talk. I was sworn to secrecy, but you're going to like them.

Yeah, I try to do some. Get some intel, and they're on lockdown.

I made them. Shun. We have a few cocktails. I'm like, show me your prototype.

Okay. So now are we on to go?

Now we're on a. Yeah. Sex and relationship goals.

We can talk about our sex relationship goals for 2017. This is big, and I hope this inspires everybody. I think it is inspiring me.

I think so, too.

Yeah.

And I think it's cool that we're doing this a month in, because usually if you. I mean, as Jamie and I both figured out, like, when we set our, like, resolutions earlier in the year, we were less likely to achieve them because they're kind of like, we decided, like, you know, right at the beginning of 2016, this is what we're doing. We didn't have time to think about, like, how that was gonna happen or, like, what was realistic or get all of Emily's awesome advice about how to make resolutions work. So it's cool. We're doing it now.

Good.

Thank God for that spider.

Thank God for the spider, man. I'm telling you, I wouldn't. And that was a great Samir. No, the spider actually gave me special powers. For real. That's true. And a fear.

Yeah. One time we walked into the office, and she was, like, hanging upside down from the ceiling, looking kind of stressed out, and we were like, oh, gosh. What was in that spider bite?

Oh, my God. Like, Eddie brought me over. Chicken noodle soup, matzo ball soup. And I thought that the way that the chicken and the noodles were shaped was a spider in the. In the thing. Like, literally everything looks like a spider. But that's fine. I'm cool. Okay. You didn't do Anything.

Spider suit.

Okay, now. Okay, Jamie, what's your goal for 2017?

Well, besides actually using a sex toy with a partner, because I have to, like, do some work from last year, obviously, I want to get more into my non monogamy. I think I want to be, you know, I really do. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I really want to try going for, like, you know, the solo poly lifestyle. I think that it's basically what I've been doing, but I just want to be more, I guess, upfront about it with myself and with my partners. I want to work on, like, how I can really, like, figure out what that means to me, I guess, in my course through things. That's great because. Yeah, that's just like. I mean, I keep thinking, like, so.

Tell them beyond that. Not just like, I think everyone assumes everyone else is dating, but you're gonna be like, I am dating other people.

Yeah. And it's like, I'm not planning on, like, settling down. Like, I just, I guess, like, trying to just learn more about it because I guess I also don't really know too much about the lifestyle and, like, just from being. Being here, like, I've learned a few things, but I just feel like that. That it explains kind of what my ideologies are now. So I just want to really explore that and, like, get more comfortable with that.

I have some great books for you to read too.

Yay. I like reading.

Yeah. Tristan Taormina wrote a great one about non monogamy. I think it's called non monogamy, and I have a few of them anyway. Good.

Okay.

I can't wait to hear the customer.

I will be checking in with you periodically about it.

Okay, Eddie.

So I guess my sex and. Well, not relationship goals. I mean, maybe in, like, 2023 or something.

We were gonna ask what toys you're excited for. Any toys this year? Sorry, that was one of the questions, too.

I mean, I'm excited for any toy that literally, like, every time you're like, oh, I have a new toy, I'm like, I want to try it.

I found a lot more last night, too. Bring them in.

Yeah. So I guess really pretty much anything that you throw at me, but I'll.

Throw it at you. Okay, Eddie, you're up.

Okay. So pretty much my sex and I guess, kind of relationship goals for 2017 would be to just be more of a versatile lover and be more kinky, you know? Like, I have all these bondage toys that I got from support sheets that I haven't really gotten to use because most of them require, you know, a partner. So that kind of also goes into my other resolution, to have less partners so that you can have more sex. Just because you don't have to look for sex if you have, like, your designated FWBs just, you know, kind of, like, lined up. Not kind of like benching. Like, this would be, like, straight up. Like, we all know what we're doing.

Like a rotation.

Yeah, it's like a rotation of FWBs just waiting to be contacted, ready at any time of the night.

Right. Okay. And you, I think you also have to mention. We gotta mention this about Eddie. We've been very impressed with your progress this year, Eddie. Everything that we've set out. Well, first of all, when Eddie came back, he was gone for a little while. He was intern and went back to school. Came back, you're like, first day, you're like, you know what? I'm just gonna take a break from sex and dating for a while. I'm like, okay, I didn't know where you're at. And like, the next week, you're like, so I'm dating this guy with a foot fetish, and I was sucking his toes last night. So you've really made some progress, I think.

Like, I mean, I really have just. Not that I'm bragging, but I mean, being in this environment and, like, you know, just reading the emails, listening to the shows, even when I'm working on other things, like, I kind of get all that, like, that knowledge and, like, Emily's wisdom from, like, her co host and just, like, here in general, like, I pay attention to all of it. And, like, I think, you know, any listener who listens religiously will know that these tips, if you really do try them, you know, not all the time, but if you remember them and apply them, they work. If you try anything. Well, if you try anything for long enough, they will work.

Right? Stick with it.

That's good. I think that's what has been helping me the most.

I love that.

Makes you feel good. There's one more thing I want to say about this is circling back to something like 10 minutes ago with Madison that I forgot to say. It's about kaggle exercises. And I think when you said that it would make you feel more connected to your vagina, that one of the big things for me too, with the reason why I love doing my Kegels is not just because, like, I have a stronger pelvic floor. It's because I feel like so many women and men. But I'm only speaking from a woman because I'm a woman. I'm so disconnected from my body sometimes that like I'll sit down with the vibrator and the pass.

Like.

Like, you know, I'm not even thinking anything. My imagination, it's just like vibrator, right? Like I'm a clitoris. But I realized that when I do my kaggles, you have to breathe. A lot of people don't breathe. A lot of people do Kegels wrong too. So I think this year, like, with the intensity and with the balls, I've learned, I know that I'm doing them right. And I wasn't before. I think I was doing them okay. But now I do them right. But also I'm breathing into that area. So I'm breathing into my pelvic floor deeply, like down. And I feel like it, like literally this might sound very like woo, woo. But like it waken my body wakes up. Wakes up like my whole. Like that's where your sexual energy is stored. Like that's where. So I think for a lot of women who feel like I have no sex drive and I don't feel turned on, I think it's because that region just might be like kind of dead to you. Like you're not breathing into it, you're not paying attention to it. Sex becomes just like perfunctory, like, oh, I have to do it. But when you just start, like putting attention there, like where like, attention goes, your energy flows. And so I think that will be really good for you.

Yeah, that's really good. Cause I've been keeping my sexual energy in a jar of Nutella in my cabinet. So I need to probably take that out and dust it off and see what I could do there.

I'm excited.

Also back to Eddie really quick because he's the star of the show. You said something last night that I need to call attention to right now. Cause I think it was inspired. It was about your experience with Two Toys, One Eddie.

Oh, yes. Two Toys, One Eddie.

So new porno video not coming soon.

Or who knows if I get a contract? So I have. I've had the Fleshlight and I've had the Black Pearl. And I guess I just never thought to put them both together. But the other night I was just like, well, why not just use them both? So I started with the Black Pearl since I've been using it. So I was like, okay, you know, just put it on, turn it on. You know, I put it up to like the strongest.

Vibration, just, like, the one beat, no waves. I can't really surf, but so they go, all right, let's do this fleshlight thing, you know? And I usually use it just to masturbate, but I was like, well, I've heard that a lot of guys will, like, put it between a pillow and, like, a couch or something, and they just kind of like, fuck it. And I was like, well, you know what? I'm gonna do that too. Like, I'm kind of going to be in the middle of these toys. Kind of like if I had, like, you know, like, dp, like, double penetration, you know, in the front and in the back.

Yeah.

So I was like, I'll be in, like, a little sandwich of my own.

You DP'd your. Yeah.

So I sandwiched myself between my sex toys, and it was actually really great.

That sounds, like, so fun.

And I had, like, an amazing prostate orgasm. I mean, and I've been trying to work on getting those out, and. Yeah. Wow, it worked.

Prostate.

I'm saying, he's revolutionizing. Revolutionizing sex. While all of us are sitting here, like, maybe I'll try kegel balls. Let me wake my vagina up. And you're like. You're like, well, I gave myself a double penetration orgasm last night. So.

No, he does it all.

Eddie's feelings of jealousy.

Yeah, we were yelling at him last night. But, like, in a really positive way. Yeah, well, like, also, there's the fact that we're talking about our goals last night. And I was like, eddie, what's your. Like, what's your resolution? And he goes, oh, well, my resolution is to, like. My resolution is to be a more versatile lover, but I've already kind of achieved it twice. And I was like, I'm gonna hang up on you.

Make us feel bad.

Yeah, it's just like the golden child. Eddie has collectively had more sex just in the past, like, couple of weeks than I had all last year when he came back.

How many months ago did you come back?

Six.

You've been back six months? And he's like, no, I'm just not coming back.

And I think that's what happened. I was like, oh, you know, like, I need to take a break. Like, stop. And then a week later, I was like, you know what? No. Like, I need to get back into this. Like, I can't stop.

After the foot fetish thing, it was interesting.

After the foot fetish, it just, like, kept going.

It hasn't stopped. I love it.

I'm inspired. I'm gonna mount some sex Toys later. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it for Eddie.

Yeah.

Speaking of mounting though, a lot of women do masturbate on their stomach and some master on their back. And it's a good way to mix it up. So flip over. If you're not used to masturbating that way. Masturbate your stomach.

Try get more pressure standing up.

Oh, I love standing up.

Honestly. Yeah. And like, just like any different kind of way. Look in a mirror. Like do something different. It really like these little tiny changes actually make like so much of a difference.

I love it with my legs together. Is that what you do or is it not even that? Like I said squeeze my leg. I can have. Good already I'm standing.

I mean I, I kind of like I, I lift one leg up.

Oh, right. Nice. See, so many different ways.

Exactly. No, it's just like. And if your routine's ever getting stale.

You can mix up your master. How many things have you talked about? Mix up your masturbation routine? Google it on the website.

I can't have sex. I can't orgasm from standing sex and I'm a pretty orgasmic person. But like I said, just can't reach that last thing of like letting go. Cuz I'm standing and I will fall over. Like. No, I mean like sex in the showers. Like anytime I'm standing up it's like this is nice, but I'm probably.

You should get that sport cheat sex in the shower. Harness handcuffs, that suction to the wall. You couldn't fall.

Oh my gosh. My. Honestly my shower has like prison lighting and it's like really small and cramped and I just don't.

Okay. Don't do prison.

Yeah. Me being in there by myself is like a thoroughly non erotic experience.

I can't even imagine. Orange is the new black fantasies. We're okay with that. Okay. This was good. I think I kind of talked about mine. My goals was to you right now. My goal was really that I think that I would just like to. In the first quarter of the year I'm going to really just focus on using all the great gifts and toys. Like I have such a, an abundance of like products and toys that I literally don't even get to use. Like people, you know, or tried once. Like I said I want to someone do that now they're all organized. Like now my jewelry is organized. I can wear stuff I didn't know I had. My hats, my, my tank tops, my now my vibrators. It makes total sense. So I have A strategy for it too, of testing all my toys. Just wait for that. And then in the second quarter of the year, no, I'm, you know, I'm dating more. I'm online doing all that stuff. So I think I'm just gonna. I think I'm having a pretty good. Pretty good year. I've had. I had the best year ever as far as I've said this on the previous show. But, like, I had. I had less sex last year than I've had ever, and I'm fine with it. Don't worry, guys. It was a choice. And, like, now I'm like, okay. I'm not like, I don't know. We'll see what happens this year. Dating. Whatever. I don't have a specific resolution. Just continue. Keep it on. Keep it on. Because last year was a great year.

Just try the Eddie trick. Be like, I'm not having sex at all with anybody, right? And all of a sudden, sudden you're gonna have the best sex of your life and be dping yourself with sex toys and things like that. So it'll be great. I also think that Eddie and I are gonna come up with a schedule to put on your closet. That's like, Monday, like, Kegel exercises. Tuesday, G spot toys.

It's very organized.

Wednesday, nipple clamps. It'll be great.

Eddie's gonna come.

Really fun.

I'll add them to the schedule.

Epic. This closet. Okay, guys, this was fun. Thank you for sharing, for being vulnerable. We're all marked now. I hear your goals. You've told everybody. What else do you have coming up? Anything else you want to talk about?

Yeah, actually, we have two big things coming up. One, so as you guys know, we get a lot of emails to feedbackexlemily.com ranging from penis pictures. Shout out to the sauna guy.

Oh, the sauna guy. Love his emails. They don't make sense, but I love them. I really want to know what he's asking.

We gotta. Yeah, we want to actually call.

Maybe he's in the sauna.

He wants to do very sensual things to you, I think in a sauna. Emily. But my point is that we get a lot of emails all petitioning for a date with Emily, because who doesn't want to win a date with Emily? So, Jamie the other day brings something to my attention. Jamie, I'll have you introduce this for us.

So, as you guys may have heard, there is the UV Kickstarter campaign going on. People are donating to it to get it off the ground. And if you haven't Done that yet. You totally should. But this guy, who apparently is a huge, huge fan of Emily's, who is also a great writer, by the way, I love writers. Now, this email was very well put together, very well, very thorough, very well thought out, saw this opportunity because one of the things that you can do if you pledge a certain amount of money, you can win like a lunchtime with Emily, which, I mean, who out there that's listening wouldn't want to do that. But if you don't live in the area, it could be kind of hard. So this guy came up with his own proposal for to help out the UV campaign and get his dinner that he would like with Emily. And he just totally came out here. Every question you might have, he answered it in the email. And I don't know, I think that we should give this guy a chance. If Madison wants to get into it.

I think you guys should read it, I think, because I. Okay, so what happened was you sent it to me yesterday. I was sick. I didn't look at emails. And then they were like, did you see that email? So I would love you guys to read it. And I just want to explain one thing. Is that. So, yeah, when you Kickstarter campaign, you could pledge 99 and get just the UV ahead of time because I think it costs more than that is how it works. But then you could also do like pledge more and get like a lunch or a guest, a guest appearance on the podcast. So this guy sent this email, but my voice is shot and you guys can read it.

I'll go ahead and read it. I would also like to point out, unfortunately, the Kickstarter is done at this point.

I can't do it.

But thank you to everyone who.

Thank you to everyone, you guys. You guys are awesome. We carry from you for. She's like an independent entrepreneur, a woman who came up with this idea that I'm telling you, I've been all these trade shows and you're like, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen. So the UV Kickstarter success. And so thank you to everybody. And you can still buy one. You just can't. I don't think you can be part of the campaign now, but this is happening now as we're recording this. So yes, take it away.

Okay, so. Dear Emily, I really enjoy the podcast as I think you are bright, informed, non judgmental, compassionate, and you give solid, practical advice. He's correct, all of that. I think the new format where you call listeners is great use of your natural manner of helping people as well as your collected expertise. Shout out to Ken because we thought that he wrote that you may.

Did you write this?

You may have gleaned that I find you intriguing. You are correct. And I would like to take you out to dinner. There are just two small problems. One, you don't know me, so why would you agree to go to dinner? Excellent point. And two, I live in Boston. Death of a dream. Hashtag sad.

Hashtag. Those are great.

We love it. Yet perhaps there is now a way your Kickstarter campaign. There are still spots open for lunch. Then there is that pesky Boston issue which could be problematic for scheduling. So here's my proposal. I will make three offers to you and I will let you and the Sex Family staff choose from among them. We only have two days, so we mustn't dally. Option one, I pledge the regular lunch and try to make the scheduled group time. Option two, I will pledge to have lunch with just you and that would be an additional amount.

Amount.

Option three, I will pledge for the meal to be dinner instead of lunch. And that was an even greater amount because he really just wants to get Emily out after hours. Who could blame him for your peace of mind and safety with either of the latter two options? I'm willing to come to the Sex Family studio to be vetted, interrogated, grilled by you and the Sex family staff. And if there's not enthusiastic agreement that you should go out to eat with me, then we can order delivery and stay there. So I think that should cover most of the misgivings you may have about this arrangement. Except who am I? I'm a 43 year old physician and healthcare former, originally from Ohio. And since someone from your staff is going to ask, I am recently separated and have two children. God, I love him so much.

It's all.

But I'm not trying to start a relationship. I just want to have dinner with you. I like you. So up front and finally, so you can see that I'm reasonably. I'm reasonably normal. Here's my LinkedIn. He provided his LinkedIn. You not only are normal, you're adorable. We love you. Hope to hear from you or one of your stuff soon. Warmly, Michael P. S. You can feel free to talk about this in the podcast if you like. So he gave us permission for that too, which is great.

And I'm just saying, as a person who sees a lot of these emails coming in with proposals for Emily in such a manner, this was so well thought out. He really was. I don't Think it's creepy. I think he, like, went into it being like, okay, how do I stand out from the creepy people that are just like, hey, do you want a bone?

Or like, let me just make sure. No dick pick.

No dick pic at all. Just a LinkedIn so you can see. And he's a doctor and he's cute. And like, I don't know. I'm just saying I think it's a good proposal.

I say, at first I. I thought when you were like, did you see my email? I'm like, no, I've been sick. And then it sounds, what do you guys think? He says, it's up to you guys.

I mean, he doesn't get my vote. I mean, I don't care how well written the email is. You know, if there are minor grammatical errors, you know, and he gave us options and are there minor grammatical errors?

There are no errors.

Oh, wow. No errors.

The team editor says no errors.

They would know.

Okay, there aren't any errors. But I don't know. I'm not buying this LinkedIn. His Facebook and his LinkedIn pictures look different. I don't know.

I will point out, guys, you stalked him on Facebook.

This is Eddie, who is on dating apps. Is on dating apps and hangs out and meets up with guys he does in who he only knows via digital.

Communication and sucks their toes.

I don't see how this is much different. How is this different than a Tinder date coming in? Those guys could have also been secretly listening to your show forever.

At least some guys, they listen.

Exactly.

That's very true. But I just think he's playing this almost too.

It's too perfect.

It's almost too perfect. It's like, there's a catch.

Eddie. It's like American Psycho that, like, is it gonna show?

Think it's like some kind of reality TV show.

This is like the. What's. What was that?

But we get to, like, we get to be here. We can vet him before. And if you really have a security.

Team that he doesn't, like, stab us.

I'm going to borrow a taser from the security guys.

Security guys downstairs in the building.

I just say, give him a chance. We can always vote no if he ends up being creepy. I feel like we're all a pretty good judge of character, like, in person. Like, sorry, Michael, if you're listening to this. But, like, you know, if.

Yeah, if you're creepy, like, we're going to know right off. And then.

And then maybe then Ken was like.

I don't think so.

Too.

The men are very, very protective, you know? Are you being protective?

Huh?

And then what's even better is he gives us the option of if we don't agree, he will order delivery and we could sit there and watch you guys.

Think he'll pay?

Probably. I'm guessing.

I'm not like that.

I'll pay.

You know, that's bad.

Yeah.

So.

No, no.

I mean, so in my masculine.

But he's taking you out.

I know.

I don't know.

I think he sounds. He sounds nice. He does his LinkedIn. He seemed like he's professional doctor. It was. I thought it was all red, dude. But you're right. There is something about it that it's like it almost anticipates every question you'd have.

Yeah. It's like.

And I've never gone out ever. Ever. But really, it's for charity. Not charity. It's for good cause.

Yeah. And also like to. To give you an example of an email that we receive regularly.

This is the sauna guy.

Okay. So this is the sauna guy. I would never actually love this guy. I just want to give an example of the things that he suggests doing as opposed to going out to a nice dinner that is vetted beforehand. I feel very happy with. Enjoy. Servant. Have older washer ladies naked beautiful. And finish sauna at night. From cleaning her buttocks with beautiful. In toilet on bidet by soap with water after she finished from Umi.

So.

And. Oh, Umi with shit from her buttocks beautiful. So basically you can see the contrast here. That's pretty. From someone who wants to wash Emily's buttock, buttocks, and other things to someone who just wants to come and.

Have you read between the lines here? Maybe he said no.

Maybe he does want to wash your buttocks, but he's giving us the option, which is.

But he doesn't want a relationship. He just wants dinner.

Yeah. I mean, and that's nice because then you have. You have a Boston pen pal. How. How hot is a Boston pen pal? Like you go visit him, do some.

Long cold in Boston.

I know. Well, he comes here on weekends. And then you just have like a part time lover. Like how nice.

Part time lover.

Exactly. And then we all sing that to him.

Part time lover. Part time friend.

Right. Yeah, I. Okay, so what do we decide now?

Yeah, so we're gonna vote. We're gonna put it to a vote. Michael, you can vote.

Michael's our sound guys.

Voting because you're actually neutral in this.

He's been here for a few shows Right, Michael?

Yeah.

Okay, so I don't vote. All right, so all in favor of Emily saying at least yes to a preliminary lunch date with this guy? I say I. That's two eyes. We got Michael edging in the corner over there.

Oh, look at us. Oh, my God. Put it up.

Michael, for the fellow. Michael. Yeah, I know. And we know Ken will be a.

No.

Ken was like, I don't feel good about this. This morning emojis. I don't feel good about that guy.

It's for content, and it's for content.

No, it's good, though. But I know I. I actually, you guys, this would not be on the show if it wasn't something that I actually was like, oh, I see why you want to read Zoom.

Okay. Yeah. And Emily had a Tinder date that she had on her podcast, like, way back when, so.

And he was nice.

We're open to this. Maybe we'll just interview him today. Like, be like, you can come in, but we have to enter. We get to interview you with the zoom.

She FaceTime at time with.

Oh, my God.

We should.

Yeah, let's FaceTime them.

I mean, if you're gonna do it, that's probably the best way to, like.

I think we should FaceTime. I think you and I should FaceTime. Okay, we'll take this off. So I'll have to date. I'll have the date with Michael. Thank you, Michael. Yeah. This is nice. And who knows? Maybe he's just really into innovation, and that's what he wants to support the UV.

You miss 100 of the shots you don't take. Might as well.

Yeah, I've never. But this is. Again, this is. This is set up a structure around the UV Kickstarter campaign, which will help. Okay, what can I do? You got. You left it in your hands.

Yes.

What can a girl do?

All right, guys, thank you very much. This was a very helpful show. I thank everybody. For me, I learned a lot that. And you guys are awesome.

And the other thing that's going on is Celeste and Danielle's learning workshop.

We're all going to that. I really want you guys to come. It is. You guys know Celeste and Danielle. I've been taking their Somatica workshop the last. Last month, six months of last year, it was life changing. But they're teaching a workshop that you can actually go to if you're in Los Angeles. It's free. It's on February 12, and it's a flirting workshop. And if you're thinking, like, I already know how to Flirt. Guess what? You probably don't. And it's free. As I'm saying, it's a workshop in LA February 12, and they teach you flirting skills. And believe me, the way they teach is not just like, hey, big boy. Like, they get into it, like, in a way that's very smart, gets into your body, gets you thinking, and I think you'd love it. And put these unique skills to practice that they teach you. It will change. It can change your life just to learn how to talk to people. You get. If you get nervous, you get anxiety on talking to people. This will help you. It's Sunday, February 12th. It's 5, 10 to 3, 10 to 3 in Manhattan Beach. But 3 to 5, they're gonna be an intro to Somatica. So if you want to go, it's somaticainstitute.com somaticaskills to sign up and save your seat. I'll be there. I think we're all gonna be there.

Yeah.

All right, thanks, everyone. Okay, you guys, it was awesome. Thank you to my amazing team. Really, truly, I love you. Thank you for the amazing 2016, 2017. We're gonna kill it. Really. I love. I love my team so much. You guys, guys are just so amazing and hardworking and smart and you inspire me. And beautiful humans. I love you. Thank you, Michael.

In case the folks back home haven't realized, we also love you a lot.

We do. We're very grateful. Thank you for this job and everything.

Oh, my God needs to be said. Okay? I love you all and I love all my listeners. Of course, you guys, seriously, thank you so much for listening. And was it good for you? Email me feedback emily.com.

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