EP443: The Discerning Fire Horse: Why This Isn't The Year to Just CHARGE

It's mid January. Like what the hell happened? And if you're already exhausted, frustrated, or quietly wondering what the hell just happened, you're not wrong. And you're not broken. I did not drop this episode on January 1st for a reason. I was not interested in charging out of the gate just to be loud, relevant, trendy, or on time. Because the Year of the Horse doesn't care about your declarations. It cares about your discernment. And so do I. January rewards adrenaline, but adrenaline isn't wisdom, and it's not sustainable. It's borrowed energy, and it always comes with a bill. Some of you came out of the gate like a bat out of hell, fired up, all gas, no regulation. And now you're limping, burned out, or quietly trying to pretend you didn't already break something. Others of you never left the gate at all. You told yourself you were being patient, strategic, discerned. Feels a little bit like Groundhog Day, doesn't it? Here's the truth most people won't tell you. Not all. Fire horse. Not all fire horses charge. The most dangerous ones actually, don't. They? Stand still long enough to feel the ground, read the terrain, regulate their breath. And then when they move, they move with torque. Speed is easy. Speed is reactive. Speed is what you do when you're trying to prove something to yourself or everyone else. Torque, though torque is forced, applied on purpose. This year isn't asking you how fast you can run. It's asking you how well you understand why you run and what fear or desire is driving the pace. Some of you didn't fail in the first two weeks of January. You just charged without taking an inventory from your body, your nervous system, or your truth. And some of you aren't behind at all. You're just being called out for maybe justifying hesitation, for wisdom. Who? The fire horse isn't here to burn you out. It's here to burn away false urgency, impulsive momentum, and goals that were never rooted in who you actually are. This is the year of regulated power vision before velocity. Discernment over drama. And if you stay with me in this episode, I'm going to show you how to tell the difference between the horse and you that's reacting and the one that knows exactly when to run and when to wait. Because this won't be the year you started the fastest. It's going to be the year you finish the strongest. Let's dive in. Hey. Hey. And welcome to the Enneagram Edge. I'm your host, Tracy o'. Malley. Enneagram Expert leadership coach, recovering control freak, and your personal translator for the ship. You keep repeating but don't totally understand yet. Now, if you're new here, buckle up. This is absolutely not another fluffy Enneagram podcast where we talk about how sweet it is to be an Enneagram too and bake cookies for your friends. No, this is the real deal. This show is about using the Enneagram as a tool for transformation. Not just information and definitely not some party trick. Because knowing you're type is cute, but embodying your highest expression, that is where your edges. Every week I'm bringing you the truth behind the types and the hype. How to stop self sabotaging, lead like a damn legend, and actually understand the people in your life without wanting to scream into a pillow. Or if you're an Enneagram, ain't like me not throat punch someone. We'll talk about leadership, relationships, business, healing, high performance, and why couples therapy is isn't working. But fully understanding your Enneagram blueprint might just save your marriage. I'll drop solo episodes behind the curtain coaching, and the occasional rant when someone calls the Enneagram just a personality test. So if you're ready to stop playing small and start showing up with unshakable clarity, confidence and compassion for yourself and others, this is your space. You've got an edge. Now let's use it. Hey. Hey. Welcome Back to the first episode of January 2026. Holy. And we're halfway through it. And I purposely didn't release any podcast episodes until now. I really felt like, you know, there's so much hype and. And I'm here for it. Trust me, I have my intentions, I have all my things lined up. But I think like, we come out of the gates like bat out of hell. Because 2025, let's just be real was a dumpster fire in so many ways. And which is my favorite word in the dictionary. And it was beautiful in so many ways. But I think it kicked all of our ass a little bit. And so when the the calendar was ending 2025, here we were all like, ready to like, put new intentions, like big declarations, big goals. Call them resolutions. I don't care what you call them. However, it's usually by the 21st of January, which is this week, that most of that has fallen to the wayside. And I did not want to be so hypey at the front end and then be like most people and by January 21st, be fizzled out too. You know, I was very clear on Things that I wanted and things that I made promises to myself for. One of them is being reading one book a week for the entire year. So I'm on book number three. I reference book number two in this. I'm going to reference book number two in this and also number three, which I'm almost done. Done with. But I. I don't want you to feel like if you're already feeling burnt out, it's normal and it's not too late. You know, it's only January, you know, 19th or whatever it is. It's not too late, but you kind of have to understand what's happening. And you know what the difference is between, like, very discerned charging forward, what is justifiable fear and hesitation. And where's your sweet spot? This is not going to be surface level. I'm also going to share with you. I use this analogy a lot. The horsepower versus Torque has a girl who loves a big ass lifted V8 pickup truck. You know, those little Teslas can kick my ass off the, off the front line. But, man, when the torque kicks in with my big ass truck, like, they can't beat me. So we're going to talk about the difference in that. Now, why does January lie to us? Right? There's this cultural pressure of a new year without sounding, you know, like it's just so wild, like. And we do it to ourselves every year. I love a fresh start. We all love a fresh start. But January kind of operates like, I'll start Monday, right? And how many Mondays are there? There's only one January. And so I think, especially with it being January and not a Monday, that even though it's Monday, when you're listening right now, I think it's really important to set yourself up to be discerning, to be honest, to be compassionate, to be curious when things kind of go sideways. But the thing is, is like, January is built for optics, right? Not necessarily truth. And I think, I mean, I can't even tell you how many New Year decollet declarations I saw, you know, on social media. And I'm here for it, right? But I do check in with people, you know, about mid February or March and see how they're doing. But January kind of. And we all are clapping it on, and I'm here for, like, supporting each other. But real solid people and real solid coaches and real solid friends can empathetically tell the truth, right? Because January rewards loud declarations, public commitments, and performative momentum. But what goes out the window is like this nervous system Readiness, body capacity, emotional truth, relational reality. Now book number three I'm reading right now is a happy pocket full of money. And I'm going to tell you what, this book has been recommended to me probably for the last eight years and I'm one of those that I'll buy a book and then it'll sit on my shelf until I'm intuitively called to it. And you know, before the new year this book was called to me and I'm about 2/3 of the way through, which is fabulous and it is a good book. The first part's a little hard. It's very sciency, which I love science, but I don't like hearing or reading science. I like doing science, but it talks about like the quantum physics and, and all of that. And part of that is like nervous system readiness, body capacity, emotional truth, that relational reality and you know, speaking it into existence and then charging forward, right? But I think we charge forward. We have it flip flopped so many of us come January 1st. And January doesn't ask if your body can carry the whole year, right? Because you've completely abandoned your nervous system, your body, all the things I just said and you just charge forward. But January just kind of is like you need to say this out loud. Sometimes fire horse energy gets flattened into go. You know, when we are charging forward it like gets trampled a little bit. But the real fire is contained, not chaotic. You know, I love a very well done fire. I'm also a Survivor fan on tv, you know, and I love the episode where they have to make the fire. And usually like if you've ever watched Survivor and it comes to the fire making challenge, usually the one that is so frantic and gets the fire started right away, very rarely does that person win the fire challenge. It is the one that is discerning, contained, focused and it's like that is a perfect example of your fire horse. You know, most people just frantically, chaotically kind of go at it. But the real magic happens when you're discerning and contained and you understand the process a little bit. Now there's three different fire horses, right? And I'm curious which one you may fall into again. There is no shame in this game. This is just step one awareness, right? Compassionate, curious, kind awareness. Like you must have those, all three of those kind, compassionate and curious with yourself and other people, you know, because criticism and judgment and shame. Seriously, you might as well just say, hey, I want to be stuck for the rest of my life if you're going to approach this stuff with criticism, judgment, shame. That's why curiosity, compassion, and kindness is the way with truth. Okay, Fire horse number one is the charger. Probably all you enneagram threes, eights, sevens, for sure. Some of you sixes, some of you ones, right? You guys leave the gate fast, really fast. And some twos do this too. It's fueled by proving panic, comparison, urgency. And often this horse will crash earlier than they want to. I don't like to say they crash early, but they. They do. Some of you are better at hiding it and masking it than other people. This horse doesn't lack power, though, right? Like, all of the people that are in the Charger horse. Like, you guys are powerful. However, that's not always sustainable, right? And, like, you didn't take an inventory. You weren't honest with yourself. You weren't compassionate with yourself. It's like, I need to do this instead of, I am this, and this is how I move forward. It's a hard one, because who doesn't like, who doesn't love to be in the lead, right? I mean, we see it in the Olympics, too, which is coming, you know, so sometimes the person kind of sitting back, smooth and steady, but in the back of the pack, the next thing you know, bam, right? Fire horse number two is the staller. This is the one that stays at the gate. Sometimes it's an enneagram, once, sometimes it's a two, never a three, sometimes a four, sometimes a five, sometimes a six, very rarely a seven, sometimes an eight. But not very often. Almost always a nine at first, right? And that's just stereotypes, but pretty close to being accurate. So if you're the staller, you stay at the gate. You might even call it, like, gathering intel. You might even call it discernment. But otherneath, I know what's happening. It's either a fear of visibility, a fear of failure. Failure, failure. A fear of commitment. A little bit of all of it, right? Not moving isn't wisdom, right? It's. It's fear. It's fear underneath there, and it's all polished up and pretty, and we can find ways to justify. To declare it all the things you know, I. I mean, I can be a combination of both. I can be a staller and I can be a charger, right? And I know you're all probably hearing a little bit of all of these in you, but, you know, you've probably heard the phrase, like, the reps build the confidence, right? Action cures some anxiety. It really doesn't cure it, but it Helps it, right? Action will always make things easier in the long run. You might mess up, you might fall flat on your face, but and honestly, it seriously, that's how you get over that hump. Stalling never helps, really. You know, when it's about fear or anxiety or fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt or ego, any of those things. Now, the third fire horse is the discerning fire horse. This is your invitation, right? This is the horse that kind of sits back and reads the terrain. They build up their capacity and their stamina. They regulate their breath. And this horse sometimes moves a little later, but with force. And this horse is not late. This horse is just freaking deliberate and decisive and discerning. And this is where I want you to know that each and every one of you can do this. Now, for some of you, it will be very painful to not be at the head of the pack at first, right? And for some of you, it might be very challenging to even leave the gate. I get it. But every single one of you has the ability to be this discerning fire horse so that when you actually kick it into gear, it's lights out, right? So back to the horsepower versus torque, right? Because being the first off the gate or off the line or, you know, any of the things like speed is, and that horsepower is more like adrenaline based and reactive and unsustainable, it just isn't. It will eventually burn out. I just want you to think about a duck with those feet underneath the water going. But then you see like an eagle, right? And it takes very slow, intentional kind of, you know, flaps its wings, right? That's the difference between speed and torque. The duck with the feet underneath and the eagle with its wings and very decisive way of flying. Torque is force with intention, right? Timing with strength and this embodied power, right? But with torque, you know, this requires clarity, humility, capacity, regulation, restraint. And this one's really hard. Like, restraint is hard. Especially when, you know, you're like, I could kick this person's ass. So I'll give you an example for, like, real life. So if you've been a listener for any length of time, you may or may not know that I started with you, another network marketing company in Q4 of 2025 after saying I was never going to do this again. Never, never, never, never, never. However this came up, it was perfect. It's everything that I want. Side note, if you want to build an extra stream of income in the lifestyle and travel space, and that's very on brand for most of you please reach out to me. It's so awesome, by the way, However, I will say this, like, if you. At the beginning, like, I know, like, if you have known me, like, you know, what I did last time, like, seriously, one of the fastest to a million dollar income in that previous company, you know, with no experience. And it was all torque back then, Right. Well, now doing this 13, 14 years later, there's a little bit of expectation on me. Not just maybe from those watching or joining me, but myself. Right. And part of me was questioning which horse was kind of going on. Is this the Staller, is this the Charger? Or like, what's happening? Right. I actually was getting more clarity, checking the capacity physically, energetically, spiritually, emotionally pacing myself so that this is sustainable. So many people I see start it, including, you know, some of the people that, you know, I may have partnered with. They come out of the gate swinging, but then it's like burn out. Or they burn out their. Their network or they burn out their family, they burn out their adrenals, right? It took me a lot of restraint, and I had to constantly be taking my inventory. I'm like, is this me afraid or is this me. Me being discerning? Right? And I'm here to tell you it was discerning. And still I was meeting myself with compassion, kindness, and curiosity, not the like, Jesus, Tracy, you should be her. La la la la la. And I'm happy to report I'm crushing it and very regulated. You're welcome. Torque is what happens when power listens before it moves. It's really sexy, just so you know. It's honestly, like, it isn't always sexy to be the first off the gates. I've run enough half marathons to see those at the front of the line. And I'm just laughing. And I'm not a fast runner, and I will never kick torque in when I'm running. That is not a good analogy for this girl. But when we watch marathons and Olympics and all of that, it's funny. The person out of the gates, like, that's cute. Hold my beer, right? So vision before velocity, right? This brings in the book Vivid Vision that I read week two of 2026. Vision is an excitement. Even though, like, vision boards, right? Big things on that. And I'm very intentional. And I. I almost to a fault, don't make vision boards. So I have to find the sweet spot in the middle because I'm not one to goal set. I'm not one to paint a vision board because I don't want to fail, right? And I just am trying to reverse engineer how that's possible. So you might be in the one camp, you may be in the other, right? There is this sweet spot in the. In the middle. Because vivid vision takes precision, right? It doesn't mean you move faster towards it. It's. You just move more true to it. Most people are executing someone else's vision. I mean, true story how I ended up with Frank, my. My little French bulldog. I've had him now seven years. That dog was on somebody's vision board at the time. Range Rovers and French bulldogs and G wagons were on everybody's vision board. And this person, who is a beautiful person, she got Frank and he was on the vision board, but she wasn't emotionally capable of handling it. She wasn't ready for it, Right? So my point is, is most of you are executing someone else's vision or the trendy thing, right? Like, ask yourself what the do you really, really want? And that's hard for me to answer because most of my life, my needs didn't matter. Like, everybody else's came first. It started as a four year old. So I understand that's really challenging for some of you. So it's easy to pick, like, oh, I want a French bulldog, I want a Range Rover. Nothing wrong with any of that, by the way. Or an outdated version of your own, right? Fire horse. Energy demands recalibration, alignment, honesty, and a little humility, too. And if the vision isn't vivid, all this speed and excitement, honestly, it's just fucking noise, right? So this is where the Enneagram comes into play too, right? The Enneagram doesn't necessarily determine how fast you move. It just reveals why you do. And this is just Enneagram light, obviously, but my body or gut? It's the body or gut types, which are the eights, nines, and ones. Checking yourself, like urgency versus resistance versus correction, right? Like, eights kind of tend to be a bull in a china shop. Nines are like, ooh, I don't want to make waves. And ones are always kind of like, they can move fast, but they also can paralyze themselves in perfection. Just understanding the why behind it. Again, meeting yourself when it happens, because it's gonna. Because guess what? You're human. Meeting yourself with compassion, kindness, and curiosity for my heart. Feeling types, the twos, the threes, and the fours. You have to kind of check yourself in your inventory. Is this because of validation worth or emotional readiness? Like, what's going on? You know, twos need to be validated. Typically, threes feel like they have to earn their worth, and fours are like, does this fit my vision? You know, so that can be a flip flop between paralyzation and just the adrenaline. Like, let's sweep all of our feelings under the rug and just go, like, again, there's a sweet spot for all of us. And finally, the head types, the five sixes and sevens. You guys toggle between safety, certainty, and escapism, right? Fives, like, need that clarity that they have all the information. Sixes need to make sure that they're prepared. The sevens are like, as long as this doesn't chain me to the fence, like, so all the things. So the reframing of this is like, your pace is always protecting something, right? So if you're stalling, is it discernment or is it fear? Right. Again, the curious, kind, and compassionate way that you check in with yourself. And here's the thing. This isn't a box. You check and like, yep, I did it. This is a constant daily inventory. And, you know, I've been in recovery for all sorts of things for over 13 years now. And my favorite thing, and I carry it with me in recovery, that I learn and I hold it true every day, especially when I'm being really hard on myself or when a new year comes. Like, this is the most. If you hear nothing else from me today, this is what you need to hear. What you have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of your spiritual condition. A daily reprieve. So that's. That's why. That's why this is so important. And this is why I waited. You know, I don't talk about things and teach things that I'm not actually doing. And modeling. I am as straight shooting. You know, integrity is my number one value. And, you know, I had many conversations this last week with some new business partners, and the reason why they joined arms with me was because of my integrity. I do walk my talk. So I really wanted to feel the year, not just go in kind of numbed out or have these unrealistic expectations. Expectations are just a lead up to a resentment anyway. I don't want to watch what fizzles out and what really isn't coming from a place of honor. I don't speak from hype. Like, I'm the first girl that will gas up my friends and gas at my clients and gas up people that are doing something amazing. But I am not about hype. I am not about hype because most often hype is just a Cover for some bullshit. You know, I will always speak to you from this embodiment. And I'm not here to perform. Right? I'm here to know the way, go the way and show the way so that you can do that for others too. So, you know, like I said, it's been a very fascinating 3 weeks so far of the new year. It's been fascinating to watch myself and the grace that I'm giving myself and the empathy, it's beautiful. It's very tender. And one of the things I noticed in Q4 specifically, it was a huge aha for me is that, I mean, if any of you have worked with me before, you know that I come to the plate and come to the table with you. So much nurturing, guidance, protection, and I'm really great at that. For other people. The nurturing one I had to really work hard for because as an enneagram 8, that does not come naturally to me. It does now. However, I have not always been able to do that for myself and I had to again, compassionately kind and curiously ask myself like, would I treat anybody else like this? No. It's time to nurture myself. So, like, these first three weeks have been so tender and nurturing and also like I'm fired up and I'm excited and it's been really great to have both in tandem with each other because it's been about two years before they were in tandem with each other. It's. It's crazy. It's crazy. And I know I am not the only one, right you guys. In fact, I would love to hear from you and hear kind of what the first three weeks of your year has been like. If it's been really hard, if it's been super healing, what is going on for you? You know, what is going on for you? This isn't the year to outrun yourself. This is the the year to trust your timing and also not bullshit yourself. You know. And if you are somebody that wants to dive deeper into this, go to my website, tracyomalley.com I can do 90 minute power sessions with you. Even better. If you know, like this is your year, you're going to need more guidance than 90 minutes. I have six month and 12 month VIP coaching packages. You're more than welcome to apply for that. I don't have many spaces left for that because I only take a few people at a time because it's so hands on. You get me every single day of the year. Can you imagine? You might be sick of me, but I know that if you believe this is your year, you cannot do this alone. I cannot do this alone. Right. I have my people that are holding me accountable and nurturing me and guiding me, and I'm also doing it for myself. But if that's not something that comes easy to you, get the help you need. And it is such an honor for me to be in the trenches with you. Like, seriously, I don't ever take that honor lightly. I take the responsibility very, very seriously. If you know this is your year, I'm here to guide you. Just go to tracylly.com all right? The fire horse doesn't need to prove itself. Right? You are power. You are power when you choose to move the way that you were supposed to. Right? And I think so often we've been conditioned, and I think that that's stops now. Right? But it's going to be messy. It's going to be uncomfortable. You're going to want to kick and scream, and I'll be with you the whole way. All right, you guys, this week I'm dropping two episodes. So the episode that is coming just two days after this one is my first interview I've done in probably a year. You won't want to miss it. It's with one of my besties, who's also one of the most wonderful, wise, brilliant Yoda, like business coaches I've ever known. We give each other many podcasts every day. You will not want to miss it, especially if you have a money story, which I think all of us do, because a lot of that vision, vision casting, that vision board, you know, there's some money stuff going on in there, so you will not want to miss it. In the meantime, if you love this episode, please share it. Tag me in your stories. I would love to know what resonated for you. Or if you think I'm an, you can tag that, too. I don't mind. All right? I'm here to live my truth, and I'm not going to be for everyone. But if I was for you. Thank you. It means the world to me that you spend your time listening here. And here's to a beautiful, honest whatever. It's supposed to be 2026. And so it is. See you next time. And that's a wrap on today's Dive into the Edge. If this episode hit you in the gut or lit a fire under your ass, good, that means it's working. Here's the deal. Transformation is not a checkbox. It's a damn decision. And the Enneagram, it's your ultimate power tool when you actually know how to use it. If you loved today's episode, share it with somebody who's ready to stop playing small. Subscribe, leave a review, and if you're really feeling brave, shoot me a message and tell me what cracked open for you. Remember, your edge isn't something to be polished down. It's part of you that was always meant to lead. Until next time, stay sharp, stay true, and keep walking. Your edge.