EP448: Ultimatums vs. Challenges: The Truth That Changed Everything at 54

There's a way of moving through your life that feels really powerful. Fast decisions, clean exits, no hesitation. You feel it in your body when something's off, and just like that, you're done. I know that energy well. I've built a life on it. Hello, Enneagram 8. I don't sit around waiting. I move, I decide, I lead. Give me something to rise to and I'm fucking in. But there's another layer to that energy, and if you really pay attention, you have felt it too. The moment something doesn't land the way you expected, doesn't move fast enough, doesn't look how you thought it would, and something in you tightens, decides, and closes. Sometimes out loud, really loud, and sometimes no one else sees it but you. You know. Today is my birthday. 54, and I can finally see how many times I've stood in front of my own life with terms. This is how it has to go or else. This is the outcome. This is the timeline. You have to do this or else. And when it doesn't match, there's that surge. Fuck you, world. Fuck it all. And I'm out. And I've trusted that move for years. But awareness changes things. Because now I can feel that exact moment as it's happening. The shift, the tightening, the decision forming, that fork in the road. And I've had to sit with this. How often that moment shows up right before something meaningful has the chance to unfold. Not every time, but enough that I can't ignore it. And if you're honest, you can probably feel where that lives in you too. The conversations cut short, the opportunities you moved past quickly, The moments where something didn't match your expectation and you didn't stay to see what else it could be. So at 54, this is what I'm practicing. Not being less decisive, not second-guessing myself, just staying. Staying in the moment where everything is me and everything in me is ready to move on. Staying when it's unclear, staying when it's uncomfortable, staying when it doesn't match what I thought. Yet, because there's something there, and I've moved past it more times than I can count. Every time I shut down too fast, I cut myself off from what's actually there, from what's trying to unfold, from what doesn't come in the form I expected. So this is the white flag, not to life, but to that part of me that needs it to go a certain way to stay in it. This is the truce. Where I can still lead and still move, still be fully who I am without closing the door too early. Because the invitations don't stop, but there are moments where I haven't stayed long enough to receive them. And now when that moment hits, I see it and I stay just a little bit longer. And if this is landing, you already know exactly where you need to practice that. Not perfectly, just super consciously. Because something in your life is asking for a little more of your presence before you decide you're done. And that, that changes everything.

Hey, hey, and welcome to The Enneagram Edge. I'm your host, Tracy O'Malley, Enneagram expert, leadership coach, recovering control freak, and your personal translator For the shit you keep repeating, but don't totally understand yet.

Now, if you're new here, buckle up.

This is absolutely not another fluffy Enneagram podcast where we talk about how sweet it is to be an Enneagram 2 and bake cookies for your friends.

No, this is the real deal.

This show is about using the Enneagram as a tool for transformation, not just information, and definitely not some party trick. Because knowing your type is cute, but embodying your highest expression, that is where your edge is. Every week I'm bringing you the truth behind the types and the hype, how to stop self-sabotaging, lead like a damn legend, and actually understand the people in your life without wanting to scream into a pillow. Or if you're an Enneagram 8 like me, not throat punch someone. We'll talk about leadership, relationships, business, healing, high performance, and why couple's therapy isn't working, but fully understanding your Enneagram blueprint might just save your marriage. I'll drop solo episodes, behind-the-curtain coaching, and the occasional rant when someone calls the Enneagram just a personality test. So if you're ready to stop playing small and start showing up with unshakable clarity, confidence, and compassion for yourself and others, this is your space. You've got an edge. Now let's use it.

Hey, hey, and welcome back to The Enneagram Edge. I'm your host, Tracy O'Malley. It's been a little while since I've recorded one. Um, you know, I am definitely in this era where, you know, I have question sometimes why I don't show up here as often as I used to. Um, I'm, I'm really going to get clear on what has transpired and what took me 54 fucking years to really understand. Um, and I want to take you inside something I couldn't see for a long, long time. Even doing this work at the highest level, even teaching this work, even guiding people through this work, you know, you can be highly self-aware and still have blind spots. Nobody is immune to them. Mastery does not eliminate some of the stuff that happens, especially if you have stuff that's happened in your life and those patterns, but it does refine your ability to see it faster. This pattern hid something inside that looked like strength and leadership and decisiveness sometimes, and the truth is that they there was a way I was operating that got results— I have the receipts— and also quietly cut me off from things that mattered. Um, this is why who is in your life matters. So, um, I have the most incredible people in my life. I have a mentor finally that is perfect for me at this stage in my life, and My best friends are so smart, and you know, it's been one of these things where most of the people in my life that I trust are younger than me. I'm like a Gen Xer, you know, and I'm a first generation of women that, you know, are in this industry. You know, the women before me just didn't do it. They didn't have the ability, the resources, the the modeling of it. And so I am that go-to person, and I love that I am. And I have not been so ego-driven to believe that there's nobody for me or the Gen X woman. Um, I do mentor a lot of Gen X women because I just have blazed so many trails. And I don't say that like cocky, it's just fucking true. So I have been on the hunt for a mentor for a long, long time, and I specifically wanted a woman I wanted somebody older than me. I wanted somebody that was entrepreneurial, um, a mother, you know, and that's just not hard to find when you're my age. It just isn't. Um, but some of my besties that are a little bit younger than me, a decade, a decade and a half, um, just come to the table with so much wisdom. Um, different perspectives. They're different Enneagram types, which is beautiful. And even though I'm ahead of them in a lot of areas of my life, not only their wisdom, their guidance, but their love for me. And the trust I have in their witnessing of me is something that in the past I would have not been able to receive. And I still resist it, even though I trust them fully with every part of me. It's still really, really challenging for me to receive. But on my birthday, these people in my life, you know who you are, said, let me pour into you. And I allowed it. And, you know, I was— I've been battling, as you know if you've listened any length of time, or if you're new here, maybe you heard about me from somebody else, maybe somebody referred you to this podcast and said, you gotta listen to this girl, she knows what's up. And yes, they're right, I do. And also, I'm human. Right? I'm a challenger to my core. You know, and you've heard me talk about the Enneagram at length, 448 episodes now, about the Enneagram and my masterful understanding and integration of it and knowing myself. And I've known myself for a long, long time, and there are things that come up for me that baffle me too. You know, I know, like, I am intuitive, I'm a channel, I am smart as fuck, and sometimes that awareness is, like, so great, and it was way easier when I wasn't, right? Because I'm always seeking to understand. I know that it's all happening for me, and also it's so fucking frustrating. And I know if you're a listener here, that might ring true for you too. You've done a lot of the mindset work. Right? But it's still like kicking you in the ass a lot. It's like, why? Why? Like, I know what I need to do. Why am I not doing it? Right? And I've had this battle the last 2 years, even though I knew like this season of sabbatical, the season of silence, the season of witnessing myself and the landscape of the world, like it was required. And also like I have been so insanely frustrated with myself. And today, in talking with one of those sacred people in my life, what came through was that I put these ultimatums on myself. And if you know anything about the Enneagram 8, we don't do ultimatums. And that's when we, when we are faced with that, and, you know, full transparency, most of my childhood and my early life Everything was an ultimatum towards me. You know, it's like, do this or that, do this or else, do this or else, be this or else. And, you know, although I could do what I needed to do to get by, there was a level of like, I'll take your fucking ultimatum and raise you, right? And I would reframe it as a challenge, and then I could do it, right? But on my terms. The problem now is that these ultimatums that I'm putting on myself my soul is like, fuck you, fuck you. And it's not able, it hasn't been able to reframe it into a challenge. It's just like, bitch, I ain't doing shit. And it feels like self-sabotage. It feels like blowing up my life, which you've heard me say over the last few years. And it's left me utterly frustrated. And even though I was trying to reframe it, in a positive way, I realized that by putting these ultimatums on myself, I would stay stuck completely. And so although like some of my processes in moving forward actually aren't changing, the energy in which I'm bringing to it will, because I am placing it like a challenge. I'm a challenger, like I thrive in challenge, but there's a whole different energy when It's a challenge versus an ultimatum. And that hit me today with one of my closest people. And I've been gaslighting myself. I've been gaslighting myself. And for better or for worse, this is how I was made. And it's time to use this for good, right? And because of that, I miss miracles right in front of me. And it's, you know, at this age in life, like, you realize, like, how fast time is going. It seems like just yesterday I was turning 40, and, and so much about my, my life was different. And, you know, 40 was when I did do that full surrender and challenge myself. And, and I was thinking about it today when that ultimatum versus challenges came up. And back 14 years ago, when I got out of rehab and quit the career that I'd known in that very masculine energy. And, you know, everything was an ultimatum back then. And even though I could perform and get shit done and, you know, had the receipts to show that that worked okay for me, as my soul has evolved, what worked then will not work now. And 14 years ago, when I was like overhauling my life and venturing into new career space, back into the entrepreneurial space after being out of it for 2 and a half years, taking my life to ground zero, wiping out my social network. You know, when I embarked on, um, back into the entrepreneurial space in network marketing, I mean, the real real was like I had no backup. Like, there were no extra resources. It was a very different time. There was no— I mean, I had just foreclosed a house and, you know, gone through a messy divorce and lost my dad and checked out of rehab. Like, all the things on paper, like, it was do-or-die time. Like, I had to figure it out. And I remember very clearly today when we were talking about it, it was actually 14 years ago today that I surrendered to the challenge happily, not the ultimatum. You know, I very easily could have gone into that saying, "You better make this work, otherwise you're going to have to get a job," which was true. But the way I presented it to myself was like, "You know what? Let's lace them up. Let's see what I can do with this. I know what I'm made of. I know what I'm here to do. I know the purpose that has been in my soul since I was a little girl. This is the moment to make it all matter for something." So let's fucking go. It was a challenge energy. It wasn't like, you better fucking make this happen, otherwise, you know, your whole life's gonna fall apart. And the reality was, is if it didn't, it could have fallen apart. I could have had to go back into the corporate space and worse yet, into that same industry that I was. And so that realization today that the ultimatum, stop today. They never work. They never work. They may get you to take action for a moment, but it isn't sustainable. It isn't abundant energy. It isn't purposeful energy. And so I thought today on my 54th birthday that I would share some of this insight to you. Obviously, I know that many of you might do the ultimatums and that may work for you. I doubt it. Like I said, it may make you take action, but it won't have you feeling fulfilled and abundant, and it won't be easy, right? You can force, um, but that never is high-vibing energy. And I, I say high-vibing not to call that lightly, but you know what I mean. There's a whole different energy and frequency when you are operating from a place that is beautiful for you. So even the most self-aware people need reflection, you know, and you can't see your own patterns sometimes in real time without interruption and support. And for my fellow lone wolves out there, this is really hard, right? It's hard for everyone, I think, but especially those that have a hard time receiving or being vulnerable like that. And this is why we need mirrors in our life. And, and some of those mirrors come in the form of triggers, right? That, that same beautiful sacred soul pouring life into me actually triggered me back when I met her 5 years ago or 6 years ago. And I shared that with her today, and I knew in that moment, like, that mirror, that trigger was a beautiful opportunity not only to grow myself but to have sacred sisterhood, and that's not something that felt comfortable for me. And I'm super grateful that instead of leaning out and projecting, even quietly, that I didn't stay in that. Blind spots sometimes get embedded in our strengths even, and that's why they're so damn sneaky sometimes. And the more successful that pattern, the harder it is to question, right? I know, like, put my back up against the wall and I can do it. But there's a different fucking energy when it's like, you better do this, versus like, let's see what this can do, right? Um, isolation reinforces that pattern, and I've mentioned it before, that is my go-to drug of choice these days. Obviously, I don't use alcohol, I don't have the disordered relationship with food anymore, you know, things like that. So isolation just reinforced that pattern over the last 2 years. So this is where you can call it out without calling yourself out, right? It's like, let's call out what's happening without, you know, attaching so much shame, criticism, judgment, ego on yourself. And this is really, really important to recognize in yourself. You know, all my lone wolves and even those that maybe those that aren't lone wolves, but you tend to suffer in silence and struggle in that. This is when taking that contrary action will be really, really important. This is where also the self-awareness, when not channeled properly, can dictate some unhealthy things, right? Like, as somebody who guides high-level people, I'm the 911 call for many people. Sometimes, because of my level of awareness, acknowledgement, action, understanding, sometimes I overtrust that internal narrative that is based on history, old patterns. The ultimatum, right? There are places where your brilliance protects your own fucking patterns, you know? So it takes time in that pause. Again, I've said this a million times, like meeting yourself with judgment, criticism, and shame in that energy, even if it doesn't sound like criticism, judgment, and shame, will always keep you stuck. Always, always, always. And this doesn't mean we try to like convince ourselves of bullshit. Like, this is where you have to get real, real with yourself and compassionate, kind, curious with yourself. And this is like, like I said, calling the pattern out, not calling you out, right? There's a whole difference, difference in that. So what ultimate ultimatum energy feels like. It's that fast internal decision. Now, I'm not talking decisiveness. This is like recoil. This is a reaction. There's a difference between like a reaction and discernment. Um, the energetic shutdown. I know when there is solitude, which is like, okay, let's regroup here, let's be kind and gentle with ourselves, but also direct. Versus the shame, the numbing out, the I'm done, fuck it, you know? And there are good fuck-its and there are bad fuck-its, right? Control over outcome and timing and appearance. And where this can show up, like business decisions, relationships, conversations, opportunities, personal growth edges, you name it, your health. Right? So finding this important distinction without that contrasting language, you know, this, this isn't always about being decisive. This is about the energy underneath the decision and the decisiveness. And I'm masterful. I mean, I, one of my superpowers is my decisiveness, but if it's operating from the ultimatum energy, it, that's why it's been so frustrating for me. And for you, because this isn't about the decision itself, it's about what's driving it. This is why I love the Enneagram too. Then this takes you to what's underneath it, right? So, you know, obviously I'm an 8, and, you know, control when I'm not healthy feels like safety. Speed feels like protection. Intensity is my armor, right? And what's actually happening underneath is like I'm avoiding vulnerability, avoiding uncertainty, avoiding disappointment. Avoiding a lack of control, right? And the nervous system is making the call sometimes before my consciousness can catch up. And I know that that happens for you too. And this is where, like, being somebody that operates and has done a lot of personal development— and I know that that's you if you're listening— this is where all this mindset work can be mindfuckery, you know what I mean? And I was on a podcast episode recently where I was talking about being neck down dead. And I know if you've listened here, you've heard me say it before that, you know, all this mindset work is great for understanding the patterns and seeing it maybe more clearly than we could before. And also, if we're not allowing ourselves to feel the vulnerable feelings with compassion, kindness, and curiosity, we will stay stuck in that and we'll start to judge it and we'll will bypass it. And it's like, like, no, no, no, no, no. There's part of me and there's part of you that would rather shut something down than to sit in what you can't control. And this costs you so much. Me too. So some of the costs that come from this ultimatum energy that you have and I have are these missed opportunities. That didn't come maybe in the way that you expected them. Relationships maybe that didn't get space to evolve, the ones that maybe you self-sabotage. There's a difference between knowing like people need to go in your life, they're not a lifetime person, or maybe they were here for a reason or a season. But like what I just shared, like I've had friendships that trigger me, including the one with my own daughter, you know? And if I didn't give any of those spaces to evolve, like, I wouldn't be so beautifully supported today. My daughter wouldn't be my best friend today. How this also can show up in conversations that could have deepened, right? Growth edges that were exited way too early because we can justify it because of that ultimatum. And it's not that it wasn't there, right? It's just sometimes you don't stay long enough to receive those beautiful gifts. I want you to think about moments where you've cut things short or decisions that you made too quickly that felt right, but maybe weren't fully explored. Right? All right. So, I want to bring some of this Challenger energy to you right now. And it's so cool. Even though I'm in that intense Challenger energy, I'm very soft-spoken right now. And that feels really strong. And I couldn't have said that many, many years ago. Like, I had to speak in that intense, like, this is the way it fucking is. And I have that, trust me. Like, there are moments that that's required and necessary and it's the right thing, you know. But this challenge energy holds engagement and curiosity, a capacity to stay, a willingness to be in the process no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Not everything has to feel like you're wrangling a bull or a ram. Hello, my Aries people, right? The challenge stretches you without closing the door. And there have been times in that ultimatum, it's like, nope, fuck that, I'm out. Nope, fuck that, I'm out. Even though, like, my mind is saying, what are you doing? What are you actually doing right now? How many times has that happened for you? Right? The challenge keeps you in the room with your life, right? And each type, each Enneagram type has a version of staying versus exiting. This isn't just an 8 thing, I promise you, it's a human thing. It's just expressed a little bit differently and it comes from different places for each Enneagram type. And I'm not gonna go into all the Enneagram types on this episode. I'll save this for another day. But I want you to know, like, this is why understanding and having your accurate Enneagram type when you're using this beautiful tool, because this can fast-track transformation. This can accelerate it and make it feel more abundant and fulfilling and joyful. Joyful. Like, that is what this 54-year-old is looking for. And, you know, my whole life I couldn't feel safe in joy. I didn't even know what that meant. Right? And this is the turning point for me and for you. And this is the work, right? Catching the moment as it happens. Again, meeting it with compassion, curiosity, and kindness. And what that can look like for you is feeling the shift in your body. When this conversation happened this morning, and the ultimatum came up, like I couldn't put words to it before until today. Immediately, like the tears came and I felt the relief and the shift in my body. You can too. You can hear the internal decision forming from truth, noticing the urge to exit and staying in it anyway. That moment is when everything changes, you guys, right? Awareness doesn't remove the impulse. It doesn't. It creates a gap for choice, and it's what you choose to do in that moment, because we all have a choice. This is where free will can come in, and sometimes that free will will fuck up the whole thing. Right? And again, we're human after all, and that's going to happen. It's what we do when we realize it, right? I very easily could have beat myself up for 2 years for making these ultimatums, realizing I'd made these ultimatums on myself. And instead, I just embraced myself with so much love, you guys. And that's what I want for you. And this is your white flag moment, right? This is your white flag moment. Because it's in this surrender of like, okay, I give in. That isn't weakness. That is when the magic can happen. That is when God and the universe and your gifts can come out and stand in the light because we need the light. We need the light. Sometimes it will turn light onto your shadows and that can be really uncomfortable when we're in that, right? That light also reveals these things to you. This is not weakness. This is not giving up, and this is not losing your power. And what it really is, is ending this internal warfare that you have on yourself. This is letting go of control over how things must unfold. This means staying present without forcing, right? This is the beauty of life. And this is why I love You know, when I was 30, I was like, oh my God, I knew everything. I didn't know shit. And even when I was 40, I was like, holy crap, I love this wisdom. And I did. And it was like zero fuck zone. Like the 40s rock, y'all. There is something about the 50s though, let me tell you. And if you aren't there yet, you have something to look forward to because this is when that truce happens between you and you. And it doesn't have to be a war. This can be like dropping the armor, dropping the fight you have within yourself, and creating this beautiful, beautiful dance between the things that have happened that absolutely served you. You know, I can't beat myself up or criticize the ultimatums that I've made because they worked a lot of the time. You know, I made a lot of shit happen with the ultimatum energy. I did. I was protected, and I also was robbed of beautiful things in my life. So the truce is here now, not just for me, but also for you. And this is where your big CEO energy comes, right? You know, this is where your true leadership and staying in the moment without collapsing, allowing space for things to unfold, leaving room for miracles. In your life, responding versus reacting. I was having a conversation today. My son called me, and I know when he calls me midday, like, okay, it's time. And he was saying, Mom, like, I'm mad, you know, my sweet Enneagram 2 Pisces, beautiful, beautiful soul. Like, I'm like, great. I'm like, let it rip. And he's like, he starts and he's like, I just need to vent. I'm like, great. I'm like, are you needing to vent or are you going to need advice? He goes, both. I'm like, okay, vent, let it rip, and go. And he just unleashed it, right? And he was telling me everything that happened. I'm like, okay, okay. He's like, what should I do? I'm like, are you ready? I said, I know what you want to do, and you have every right to want to do that. He wanted to like fucking punch somebody in the face, and that is not his natural go-to, so I know this is serious. I'm like, you have every right to feel like you want to do that. You are justified in this attack on your character. You have every right, but what you actually need to be right now is the thermostat, not the thermometer. And this is what the difference is between responding and reacting. When we react, we are guided by the temperature of a situation, the trigger, the situation, the trauma, the people, the scarcity, all of it. That is thermometer. We need to be the thermostat, and this is what responding is like. Ah, the temperature is increasing. Let me just tweak this a tad, right? This is me and you leading yourself instead of overriding it. And when you operate from this energy, this is like, this is where the magic can happen. All right, um, here's something that you can do too. I want to give you some stuff. This isn't just about me and my birthday, even though like it's crazy, you know, as somebody that never liked celebrating my birthday, you know, even me coming into the world was a challenge. It was an ultimatum, seriously. My mom's water broke when she was 7 months pregnant with me, and I fought to stay in. It was a challenge, right? I'm sure there was a big old ultimatum in there too, but like, I took it as a challenge even in utero. I know that to be true. It's like, oh really, your water broke? You're gonna force me out of here? I think not. I'm up for the challenge. And then even when I was actually born, because Lord knows I, I'm not an Aquarius, which is when I would have been born had, um, my mom actually delivered me at that time. Um, I definitely knew I was an Aries. I'm an Aries. I'm an Enneagram 8. That's just what this shit is, right? Um, But being able to, like, discern, like, okay, I'm up for this challenge, you know, underestimate me, this will be fun, right? That's not ultimatum energy. So I want to give you some tools that you can use. It's like, notice the moment you want to shut something down, stay 30% longer than you normally would. That's a really hard one, but it's really necessary. This is where miracles happen, you guys. Get curious instead of, you know, that decisive reacting immediately. Like, don't confuse your decisiveness for discernment sometimes. And let the moment reveal more before acting. Really, really challenging, but really, really worth it. This isn't about forcing yourself to stay forever, I promise. It's about interrupting that automatic pattern, right? I— year 53, 54 has been the hardest of my life, and I know it's been a hard one for a lot of people. You know, we're in the year of the fire horse, all the things, just the, the climate of the world is just like, what the fuck is happening? The onslaught of tech and AI, although it serves a beautiful purpose in some ways, it has desensitized us from being human and knowing what's real and what isn't. It's like It feels like we're being gaslit in every corner. It's like, what is real anymore? I mean, I joked on my Instagram stories this week, like, I'm so sad because like I love like the internet and social media. Like, I could go down rabbit holes of fun puppy and dog videos and babies and kids. It's like my favorite thing. Um, and even those are fucking fake now, right? So, you know, I know the last year or two has been really, really hard for a lot of people and really abundant in some ways too. Like, I feel so ridiculously abundant in my love, my relationships, the support I have, and in other areas I feel scarcity, right? And so the lesson here for me and for you is to surrender, not to give in, not to say fuck it, I'm out, not to tap out but to tap in, tap into what is present now, what is happening in the now. The minute we, you know, go too far in the past or go too far in the future, we miss the miracle. And I want to offer that to you today. I know it's probably not your birthday today, but this can be a rebirth. This can be a a reconnection. This can be— what word did I use this week? Like, nothing in you needs to die, but it's time to resurrect. And I mean, it's Good Friday after all. Like, how crazy is this? Like, it's Easter weekend, you know, the resurrection. Like, this is your opportunity to resurrect what has been in you this whole time that has been suffocated and stuffed down and and sacrificed for these ultimatums you've put on yourself. And instead, I want you to be resurrected in this feeling grounded and owning who you are and all the magic of who you are. And even, you know, some of the parts that challenge you, right? There's something in your life right now asking you to stay a little longer and to rise up. So whenever and whatever this hits you, I know if it's not now, there's a moment coming. There is a moment where you're about to be done, to close it out, to move on, to say peace out. When that moment shows up, I want you to remember this, and I want you to just pause. You don't have to figure it out. You don't have to force anything. Just don't leave it so fast. Stay in it. Stay in the surrender. Give it a little more space than you normally would because something in your life is trying to meet you here, and it can't if you're already gone. All right, so this is my promise to you, um, for me, for you, and I'm here with you in the trench. Um, if you, if you feel lonely in this, know that you're not. I'm here. You know where to find me. If like you're feeling called to do some work with me, please reach out. Um, you You can email me, go to the website TracyOMalley.com, follow me on Instagram Tracy_O'Malley, all the things, you know where to find me. If you're here, you'll figure it out. But we're in this together. We really, really are. And let's rise up to the challenge and put to rest the ultimatums. I'm ready. I'm ready. And my vow is to show up because I've tapped out more often than I should. And that's not an ultimatum. That's meeting myself with so much love. I understand why I did it, and I understand now the difference. And my hope is that you do too. So here's to onward and upward. Here's to 54 times around the sun. And here's to making the next year of my life and yours the best ever. And so it is. We'll see you soon.

And that's a wrap on today's dive into the edge. If this episode hit you in the gut or lit a fire under your ass, good.

That means it's working.

Here's the deal. Transformation is not a checkbox. It's a damn decision. And the Enneagram, it's your ultimate power tool when you actually know how to use it. If you loved today's today's episode, share it with somebody who's ready to stop playing small, subscribe, leave a review, and if you're really feeling brave, shoot me a message and tell me what cracked open for you. Remember, your edge isn't something to be polished down. It's part of you that was always meant to lead. Until next time, stay sharp, stay true, and keep walking your edge.