Episode 115: You're On My Team Too!

You're on my team too. Here we are, episode 115 of the weekly Yes Am podcast, also with our sister podcast Inspired to Give. This is episode 115, You're on My Team Too. So that is what we are going to talk about today. But first, I want to start things off with a quote. And I came across this quote from Tim Ferriss actually. I get Tim Ferriss's weekly email where he sends out what he's listening to, what's inspiring him, what he's eating. You know, it's Tim Ferriss. He is an awesomely interesting guy. And the quote that he was pondering that he sent out to everyone was, character, like a photograph, develops in darkness. That quote comes from Yusuf Karsh. who is one of the most famous photographers who has ever lived. Primarily did portrait photographs of very famous people, including Winston Churchill, I think was his most famous one. He, um, Youssef, was an Armenian survivor of genocide. And so you can imagine sort of his story, his background, what he went through, the pain, the tragedy, the sadness that he went through to become this obviously very successful and famous photographer, and that quote, character, like a photograph, develops in darkness. So if you're young, if you're 20, 25 and under, you're like, what do you mean photographs develop in darkness? It's all digital, it's all Instagram, I can take it, boom, right now. But most of us remember that photography did not develop that way. In fact, my wife is a photographer, And back in college when she was a sports photographer, she would be in the darkroom developing those pictures. And most of us remember that, right? But again, character, like a photograph, develops in darkness. Character, when you think of character, it kind of gets to what I want to talk about today here in episode 115, You're on My Team Too. And so this is sort of what made me think of this. And so Earlier today, I was sitting behind a car at a stoplight, and it had a Trump-Pence sticker on it. I immediately made my— I kind of make those quick little judgments whenever I see that. And again, this is not going to be a politically driven podcast, hopefully just the opposite. And so all to say is, total transparency, right? I'm not a Trump guy. And it's not, oh, you're a Hillary guy. It's— I'm just— can I just be not a Trump guy? All right, regardless of my political affiliations, not a Trump guy, just because everything about him, his character, shall I say, is very sort of offensive to me. And so when I see those messages, right, you know, my blood sort of Trump Pence. And so I caught myself today and I recognized, and that's the statement that immediately came to me. when I saw the bumper sticker was, hey, you're on my team too. Meaning the person driving that car. Meaning any Trump supporter. Meaning anyone that disagrees with me, that has a different opinion or a perspective from me, despite our differences, they are on my team too. And a couple of things recently I've come across that continue to reinforce this idea that continue to remind me that this is the spirit and this is the message that we need right now in our country and in our world. There's a great viral sort of video going around. I believe her name is, I think it's pronounced Amarillis Fox. It's A-M-A-R-Y-L-L-I-S. She's a former CIA operative and she has this really great viral video where she talks about interviewing terrorists and interrogating terrorists and sort of being in the heart of the Middle East as a government worker for the US doing some frontline, really intense, scary work. And she said the biggest takeaway that she took from her work was we need to listen to our enemies. Think about that for a second. She's saying we need to listen to our enemies. She refers to hearing their stories, hearing about their background, the context of their life, the context of the events that have shaped who they are, and trying to see things from their perspective. Now don't mistake this for condoning or justifying acts of terrorism. But seeing things through the perspective of your enemies and how powerful that is from understanding a problem and its complexity from a way of how do we find solutions? How do we find mutual ground? How do we find collaboration? Yes, this is the weekly Yes And podcast. Yes And is all about finding that greater collaboration, that greater connection, and unity of ideas, especially when we come from different backgrounds. Of course, I have to bring up my good dear friend Janessa Ganz Wilder and her Euphrates Institute with their motto, their theme of turn the other into a brother. I love that. She also worked for the CIA doing similar work, and I just find it fascinating— 2 people who are working on the front line doing that kind of work and what's the perspective they come out of that work with. Not how right, quote unquote, we are. Not how wrong the opposition is. But it's about empathy, seeing the other person's perspective, wanting to understand a different point of view, and starting from that as the standpoint. And when we do that, we give ourselves context. We give ourselves a way to understand why someone could have such a radically different perspective than we do. This past weekend I worked for— I'm a college professor now for the Watson Institute at Lynn University in Boca Raton. The Watson Institute also has a program in Boulder, Colorado. That's where they started it. It is for socially conscious Many of these young students are international. In my class of 12 alone, 10 of them are international. We've got Sweden, Armenia, Africa, a couple countries in Africa, Jamaica, the Caribbean, 2 US. So it's a very diverse group of people. And so I was speaking on Sunday at a base camp. So this is kind of like a college recruiting weekend for students who were thinking about the program. And I was sharing this idea of, you know, we were all sitting in this room and I said, if this room was your world, right? If this room was our world and I was standing up in front of the group and I'm looking at the entire room, and if I am so convinced that my perspective of this room is correct, And that I have the right perspective. I then asked them, what about what is going on behind me? Because there was a whole half of the room behind me that I could not see, but they could. They could see it because based on where they were sitting, they had a different perspective. And then on the other side of the table, that group of students could see an entirely different perspective. And so if that room was a whole world, I can see a lot, but I'm missing a lot as well. They can see a lot, but they're missing a lot. And so when we think of an entrepreneurial spirit, a yes-and mindset, how do we build environments and cultures and communities that are based on trust, respect, and value? We've got to be willing. In fact, we've got to be demanding and open to seeing other people's perspectives. Hearing their opinions, understanding their values, wanting to know what they see, because undoubtedly we have blind spots. We all do. None of us can see the whole picture because we just can't. And so we need other people's perspectives who have ideas that we have not experienced nor could even imagine. So we need all of those at the table. We need to welcome those all at the table because when we have— And everyone's perspective at the table, now we can actually collaborate. We can find compromise. We can find— but even better than compromise, we can find greater, more diverse solutions devoid of as many blind spots as possible because we're welcoming all those perspectives. We're not only bringing, you know, the perspectives in our echo chamber, the people who agree with us, the people who are yes-men in the wrong kind of way to our ideas. We need all of those different perspectives. And if we're going to be a problem solver, if we're going to be a global citizen, if we're going to be, you know, a positive contribution in our community, we need others who think differently, who have different opinions, who are willing to bring their perspective to the problem. And I think this sort of hit home Biggest this weekend. My son was playing in a soccer tournament. Shepherd's team was in a U-12. We were playing in a soccer tournament. We're in the finals against a team that we had beaten earlier in the tournament and with some really boisterous fans, parents if you will. And so we're in the final and it's a very tight game at 0-0, and this is still in the first half. And one of the parents from our team happens to sort of find himself sitting in the middle of all the parents from the other team. And I don't know the events of what happened, but there was, you know, there's an altercation. It didn't get physical, but there's a lot of screaming and shouting to the extent that the referee came over to the coaches, myself and the head coach, and then the other team's head coach and his assistant, And he told us we need to come over to the other side of the field where the parents are. And he said, you need to tell those parents they're done. They need to leave. Now, I will say that all of the parents that were needing to be removed were the parents of the other team. Because usually, you know, you have half the parents on one side of the half, the other parents on the other side of the half. So all these parents were on, you know, they were on the half from that one team except our parent from our team, our one parent. So he had to leave too. So in the midst of all this, of us trying to get parents to leave, it got even heated. They're screaming, they're shouting. Mind you, this is a U-12 soccer game at, you know, a very, you know, normal tournament. So that's the emotions on the sideline. So all of this is happening, trying to calm the situation, but actually while we're over there, it actually intensifies for a little bit, even with One of their coaches even kind of escalating things. And so then it looks like— so the parents are starting to leave, and I walk over to the head coach, and we start walking back across the field towards the benches. And he was this— I'm pretty tall, I'm 6'4. He was not even 6 foot, but big, barrel-chested. He could snap me in two if he wanted to. But he was a nice guy. I talked to him after the first game. So he's walking back across the field. I just walk up to him and I put my arm around him and just kind of bring him in tight. And we're walking together and I'm laughing. And I said, hey, Coach. And he's kind of got a smile on his face. I said, hey, if you and I walk like this and I've got my arm around your shoulder and your back, maybe that'll help defuse the situation. So he just walked with me across the field, my arm around him, and we're all smiles. And And the parents subsided, the game went on, there were no more altercations. Side note, we won 1-0 with 3 minutes to go in the game. Great goal. Yay, Charlie! But the point of it was, again, I felt the urge to find this opportunity. I mean, those parents are good people. Those kids are good people. These coaches are good people, but when you're riled up in the emotions of the situation, good people do stupid things. All you got to do is have a kid in youth sports. Good people do stupid things. And in that moment, I just wanted to— what can we just— we're all on the same team here. We're all on the same team. And That's what it's about. That's what we're trying to do. We disagree on politics. We disagree on everything— sports teams, on food, fashion, music, the important stuff, the unimportant stuff. But we can all value each other and respect each other enough to know that anyone's opinion and perspective Is valid because it's their perspective and it's their opinion. And just like everything is a world, everyone's head is a world. Going on inside that head is an entire world, and all of those opinions and perspectives are valid. And what we need to do is show up in a way that is respectful of that, that is open and appreciative of that, and allows people to bring their full authentic self to the table. Because that is what we need to work with. That's what we need to collaborate with. That is what we need to yes and with. We are all on the same team. You're on my team too. And that's what I wanted to say for episode 115 of the weekly Yes and podcast with Inspired to Give. Speaking of Inspired to Give, make sure you check out our Facebook page as well as our Instagram. That quote, character, like a photograph, develops in darkness, we turned it into a really beautiful and powerful meme. So I'll have that posted probably inside of this on my liveyesand.com page as well, my link for this podcast. There you have it, guys. Episode 115. What can we do today to see the other as a brother? What can we do today to listen to our enemies? What can we do today so that we see you're on my team too? There you have it. That's your YAP, people. Have a wonderful, wonderful Yes And day. Love you, Juju.