Surviving the holidays - Live Yes, And Style!

Well, welcome everyone. Again, my name is Travis Thomas, the creator of Live Yes And, and I wanted to do a little Facebook Live tonight to talk about a topic that I think everyone is thinking about to a certain extent right now. We're getting close to Christmas. It's the holiday season with Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, all the big holiday time of the year. And so I just want to jump on and talk a little bit about how to survive the holidays from a Live Yes And perspective. And some of you may know that my book, 3 Words for Getting Unstuck, is now available in paperback. And in the book, I share some improvisational principles and how they apply to real life as far as getting unstuck and thriving and living with authenticity and purpose. But the idea that I'm going to talk about today, I really don't talk about too much in the book, but I think it's huge when it comes to dealing with family situations, relationships, Especially the holidays. And so the principle is, from an improvisational standpoint, is that in any scene, in any improvised scene, that scene is happening fresh. It's happening original. It's unique. It has never been created before. And so therefore, it's happening completely new. And I got thinking about this tonight. I do my best I'm sort of thinking when I'm driving the 30 minutes one way up and back to soccer when I'm driving the kids around. And so some good thinking time. So as I was reflecting on the holiday season, and so often we're either going home to be with family or we're inviting family in, we find ourselves in situations where, yes, we love our family members, but it's easy to get wrapped up in sort of Letting go of old stories or growing beyond sort of beliefs and habits that we have about one another, including ourselves, but, but how— what we carry around about other family members. And I was thinking about that tonight and the ability to sort of start fresh and start new. And what I love about an improvised scene is, again, when you're creating an improvised scene, you're not bringing any old baggage into that scene. All the characters, the story, everything in itself is entirely new. So you may have just done a scene where you established a character and the story went one direction, but as soon as that scene is over— over with, you free it, you release it, you let it go. You move into the next scene, a new story. It's completely starting fresh, starting new. New perspective. New starting point, a clean slate, if you will. And I think about the holidays is that it's really hard for us to start each holiday with a clean slate, because what we're doing is we're— we've got such history with the people, our family that we're spending the holidays with. We might be carrying something along with us that happened when we were a teenager. We might be carrying something with us, some baggage that may have happened when we were a young child that a parent Or a grandparent or a cousin said to us or something that we said to someone that they are still carrying around with them. And so we carry around this Santa sack, if you will. You like that, how I worked that in? We carry around this sack of baggage, which no matter how that person has grown, changed, evolved, progressed, and a lot of times that's us too, something happens and immediately all of that old history and all of that old baggage comes to the surface and we realize, wow. I guess I haven't really let that go. When you approach it from a Live Yes And perspective, again, as we go into sort of this holiday season where we're spending time with family and friends, what if we approached this get-together and we gave everybody a free pass? No matter what's been done in the past is past. It is in the past, and we give everyone a free pass. So no matter what was said in the past, no matter what was done in the past, We're going to go into this holiday season with fresh eyes and a fresh perspective. Just as you don't want to be— you don't want everything held against you, every mistake, everything that you said in the past to be held against you for where you are now and how you've grown. You don't want everything that has been said to you or about you in the past to sort of still be associated with that person. So are we willing to let that go? Are we willing to give Your crazy uncle a new beginning. Just because he was crazy last year or 15 years ago doesn't mean that that is the lens or the perspective through which we still view him or her. We're giving them a free pass. From Memory, wait, how do I rewind this so I can watch what I missed so far? Memory, after this, I will post it on my Facebook page and then you can watch it in its entirety. So thank you. And so again, to expound a little bit further from an improv standpoint, every time you take the stage as an improviser, your goal is to make each other look good. And so not only this year are we going to kind of give everyone a new beginning, a fresh start, we're going to leave the stories from the past in the past. Not only are we going to go into these situations from a how can I survive this mindset, We're going to go into it with a thrive mindset, which is imagine if while we spend time with one another this holiday season, instead of trying to not— instead of biting our lip and trying not to think about or bring up what's been done in the past, what if we went in with a perspective of making each other look good in the true Live Yes And spirit? So we're listening, we're connecting instead of thinking about our agenda. Or how we're going to be recognized or look good. What if we really connected with our family and friends during the holidays in a way that made them feel totally supported, totally loved, totally heard and understood? So that, so that you're their supporter, you're their cheerleader. And more than anything, you are empathically and openly and actively listening to support what they're about. Imagine how that might transform Some of these old relationships that could probably use a little bit of a reboot. So just as improvisation, when we go on stage, we try to make each other look good. Imagine if we spent the holiday time with one another trying to make each other look good. And when we return after that, you leave, you've probably left a different impression on a family member. And again, I can just think of an experience over the years of, again, I was the youngest in our family of cousins, of siblings. And I'll be honest with you, I was kind of a spoiled brat as a kid. And it probably took me a while to sort of shake that image. And maybe I haven't fully shaken it in some family members' eyes. But all it would ever take, even when I was in my 20s, heck, probably even my 30s, all it would take is someone saying, You're a spoiled brat. Oh, Travis, you always have to get your way. Or, and all of a sudden, all those years of— and I would think to myself, that was when I was 12. That's when I was 14. Give me a break. Give me a pass. And it brings all those memories rushing back to the present moment. Hey, Gary. And so can we let go of that baggage? Take whatever baggage you're going with the holidays, but leave the baggage behind. That is the old stories, the old wrongs, the resentments, everything that was done to you in the past. And let's look at the people who may have done that and imagine the growth that you've gone through in the last few years. And can we give them credit for going through their own growth as well? And so that forgiveness. And again, let's, let's take it a step further with this yes and mindset. Not only are we going to forgive them, We're going to start with a clean slate. They get a fresh start, you get a fresh start, and we're not even going to stop there. The next stop is we are going to support them, encourage them, love them, celebrate them. We are going to yes and how they are showing up. So we're going to support their ideas, we're going to cheerlead what they're about, and not only are they going to go, wow, that was cool. They're going to see you in a new light because you are seeing them in a new light. So that is my goal this holiday season. That's my challenge to you all as well, is to not survive the holidays, but let's thrive from a live yes and mindset and just go and love, love, love, love, love, love. Love. And have a wonderful, wonderful holiday. If this was of any value to you guys, please share on your page, share with your family and friends. And again, a shameless plug that my book, 3 Words for Getting Unstuck: Live Yes, And, is available via paperback. It's available via Kindle and it's available via audiobook as well. And also stay tuned. In the new year, I'm going to be doing Live Yes, And mastermind groups. That are all virtual. Thank you, Gary. Life is a gift. You are a gift, my brother. So thanks so much. So stay tuned, everyone. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful, wonderful Live Yes! And day. Take care. Bye.