Replace arguing with curiosity. This week's challenge uses Adam Grant's "motivational listening" to shift from preacher or prosecutor mode into asking genuine questions about why someone thinks what they do. Notice when you want to dominate a conversation, then ask instead.
Hello everyone, here is your Yes Challenge for the week of March 22nd. The week of March 22nd. I know I'm a day behind in getting this out to you, but here is your Yes and Challenge, your YAC if you will, for this week. So I'm reading a great book by Adam Grant. It's this new book called Think Again, and it's, it's really super fantastic, super fantastic, super fantastic practical ideas on About how to be more open-minded, how to challenge your biases. And a lot of it revolves around, A, noticing your biases, but B, tapping into empathy when we notice ourselves being really attached to our thoughts and our beliefs. Because when we become attached to our thoughts and beliefs, that's when we become combative. That's when we kind of go into preacher mode or prosecutor mode when someone disagrees with us. And so there's this idea that's called motivational listening. It's very much like empathic listening, but motivational listening is even more curious, listening with more curiosity. And again, listening from the standpoint of not moving the person into the direction that you want them to go, but truly being super curious about where they're coming from and really asking a ton of questions so that You understand where they're coming from, but really you're helping them understand their point of view even more. And in that process, it's usually getting to the heart of the matter of how they really feel and why they feel what they feel. That why is super important. And so when you find yourself in a situation where your temptation is you want to go into prosecutor mode or preacher mode where you're standing on that soapbox, I can relate to that. See if we can this week tap into more of that listening mode where when we're feeling that urge to want to share what we really think, can we shift and move into asking more questions to find out why that person thinks or feels the way they feel? Because we genuinely care. That's kind of a huge caveat here. We actually have to care about the person enough to want to know why why they feel the way that they feel. So that's your challenge this week, to notice yourself when you're in that preacher/prosecutor mode and shift into that curious listening mode. And if you have any examples with that, with a spouse, a friend, a coworker, a stranger, let me know how that goes, guys. That's your Yes, And challenge for the week. See you soon.
