A husband's laziness in housework, childcare, or emotional labor kills marriages through avoided conversations. The fix: clear communication about shared responsibility, teaching him tasks, finding him a mentor or coach, and holding both partners to the same standards.
Lazy husband and what to do about it. Now, what's the definition of lazy? Well, it's, it's different for everyone, isn't it? What does lazy mean to you? Not doing housework, not helping with the kids, not bringing in money, not being focused on being breadwinner, not supporting you or having time for you, just wanting to maybe play video games or to do childish things or go out with the boys. Like, what's a lazy husband? You know, laziness is, I guess it's programming. It's programming from when you're young. It's programming of seeing your parents. And you've got to communicate what you want from your husband, okay? That's what you've got to do about it. You've got to sit down and talk. And some husbands are the masters of deflection or avoidance, and actually avoid conversations. Um, you have to talk about everything, especially the uncomfortable things. You know what, ego is the killer. In every relationship, from men and women. And the ego is what stops you from going to that next level because you think, oh, my standards are good, I'm doing everything right. When just because you go and fold the washing, just because you go and clean the bathroom, just because you're making money, that's enough. It's not. You have to be amazing at all parts of your life. You can't just focus on one thing like, oh, I'm working, I'm really hard working, but then at home you're lazy. Or just focus on entertaining when the boys are over, or just focus on playing with your kids for like 20 minutes a day. It's ridiculous. And some dads don't even do that, okay? Some dads don't even play with their kids. It's shocking. Your wife, and I'll talk from a woman's point of view, needs time, right? Your wife needs time with you. Your wife also needs time to have as a break, to have to herself, to relax, to collect her thoughts, to recharge. And everyone's personality is different. And maybe you're not compatible with your wife the way you are. Maybe you've undertaken gender roles that were from the 1950s. You know what, relationships are so fluid in roles right now that there are no masculine and feminine roles. I can tell you that much. You both have to give and take in every single role in your life, and I'll get into that a bit more. You both have to help around the house, help with the kids, their homework, their wellness. Their education, running them around to sport. There can't just be one person because you're living two separate lives. You've got to also help each other with kind of the work stress. If you're working in business with your partner like I do with mine, how do you work well together? What are your strengths? Is someone not pulling their weight somewhere? Is someone responsible for making all the money and then they're resenting because they haven't got time and everything's on them to pay the bills and the loans, they don't have time to spend with you or the kids. Marriage is not easy. Marriage is something that changes with the seasons. Pre-kids, with kids, when you're an empty nest and your kids have gone and they're doing their thing. Maybe kids are traveling, maybe your kids are overseas, maybe you have had— maybe you've had to learn how to be with your partner again. Laziness. Laziness kills marriages. Laziness is your enemy. Laziness is conversations that haven't happened, and then resentment builds up. Do not let your conversations not to be had just because you want to avoid— don't— just because you want to avoid a fight, just because you want to avoid confrontation, you don't have the conversations you need to have. Every marriage goes through ups and downs. That is normal because Things sometimes change quicker than you're aware of. Awareness is the key. Now if your husband is lazy, he probably needs a mentor or a coach or several. And a lot of the time women tend to invest more in themselves than the men. They need to invest in themselves. And I don't mean going out for golf matches or golf games or tennis matches. Business is business, home is home. If one part of your life is out of whack, if it is not getting any attention, then the rest will absolutely absolutely be struggling and you will fail. Now don't let your husband be lazy, but it comes to how you talk to him, it comes to expressing what you want. Now you've got to know what you want, you've got to communicate, and you've got to ask for help. Women, ask your husband for help. Show him how to do things. Chances are he's never learned it before. Chances are he may not have even lived out of home. Chances are you're going to be his mum for a bit and his coach. There comes a time when they have to pull their socks up and grow their you-know-what and actually be men. They can't be boys anymore. The best thing you can do is call them out on their crap. The best thing they can do is do the same for you. Hold each other to high standards. Hold each other accountable. Standards, standards are one of the biggest things that kill marriages. What are your standards? Have you lowered your standards? Have you just let things slide and now you have everything built up and you're really sad?
Grab a pen — this is the exact manifestation exercise I use to reset my mindset every single day. 🖤
