Vicky Samios argues that people-pleasing drains your power and joy. She walks through a four-step framework for setting boundaries: clarify your values, practice saying no in small ways, use firm language, and expect pushback. Start with one area where you're over-committed and say no today.
Chapters
People pleasing is a silent epidemic that was taught to you from when you were young, and it steals your power, your joy, and your time. How do I know? Because that was me. Let me tell you why people pleasing is so dangerous. When you constantly say yes to others, you're saying no to yourself, and you are limiting what you want. You're trading your energy, your dreams, your peace for temporary approval, and that approval Who cares? It doesn't even matter. It's a mirage. It never truly satisfies because others will always find something wrong. So you need to start not giving a crap about what others think about you. I remember working with a beautiful lady. She was the ultimate people pleaser, always the first to volunteer, always the last to leave, the one who carried everybody's burdens but her own. She was exhausted, her body was giving her signs, she had pain everywhere, she was disconnected from her own desires, the things that she wanted. She'd forgotten to want and dream and go for things and was on the edge of burnout. And one day she made a decision. She decided to own her power. She reached out to me, she told me her problems, we got a plan together, we got the map, and she started saying no to things that didn't serve her, setting clear boundaries with family, friends, work, everyone. The result? She reclaimed her time, her energy, and most importantly, her self-respect. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. I'm all about self-respect. I'm a very, very, very independent woman. I love my man, I love my hubby Peter, but I am fiercely independent. Stop right there. If you think that saying no makes you selfish or unloving, you are buying into a lie that was told to you. Makes me so infuriated. Boundaries keep your walls up like they keep out things. They're like bridges to deeper, healthier relationships. And when you set boundaries, you teach others to treat you that way. You don't have to sacrifice your well-being to be kind or loving, okay? You might be shocked with that. So how do you start setting boundaries without fear, without guilt? And I said that with hesitation because I know you're hesitating. Now I'm going to give you steps. Step 1 is to get clear on your values and priorities. What matters most to you? Not your husband, not your parents, not what anyone else thinks, not your siblings. Step 2, practice saying no to small things and in small ways. It is a muscle and you honestly have to build it. I'm still building it. Step 3, use compassion but firm language. I can't commit to that right now, or I need time for myself. I even use it with my kids and they know it's mummy time. Step 4, expect resistance. People will push back, but that's their discomfort, not your failure. They wouldn't even dream of doing what you want to do, so you're making them uncomfortable. Now I want you to pause for a minute. What's one area in your life where you're overcommitting? There are probably many. Where can you start saying no today? Because that's eating up your time and your energy. Now here's the truth that will change everything, and I promise you, everything. If you keep people pleasing, you are not just losing precious time, you are losing yourself. This is why you feel the way that you feel. Your dreams, your voice, your power, all slipping away one yes at a time. Get out of the conditioning and start saying no. Start saying yes to the meaningful things you want. But here's the good news, you get to decide, you get to reclaim your life. When you own your power, you become unstoppable. This is what you see in others that you admire, and then you inspire others to do exactly the same. Why don't you be a great role model for your children? You create a life of freedom, joy, and authenticity. Stop living someone else's lies and dreams. So today I want you to make a declaration. I am worthy of my own yes. Say that again, say it really loud. I am worthy of my own yes. Write it down, live it, breathe it, believe it. And if you're ready for that next step and to take things deeper, to build this unshakeable, set of boundaries that fuel your joy and respect, I want to invite you to apply for mentorship. Applyformentorship.com, that's where you need to go because this is where real transformation begins, not just watching videos. So I love you watching my videos, but it's with this decision. Commit to yourself. And it's for a plan that is tailored just for you. You don't have to do anything alone. You deserve to own your life. Your power. Now, go live that full life. Thanks for being here. Go to applyformentorship.com. I'm absolutely cheering for you. I'm your biggest cheerleader. I tell all my clients this and everyone in my world. I want you to succeed and to win and to be happy, to have everything that you're dreaming of. Let's do this. Let's live this full life. Applyformentorship.com.
