Relationship coach Vicky Samios shares three ways to fix marriage communication: stop holding grudges, maintain physical intimacy, and avoid hurtful comments. Second, establish weekly date nights and clear boundaries between business talk and personal time. Third, grow together by learning jointly and understanding each other's love languages.
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Here are the top 3 things to fix the communication in your marriage. Have you ever wondered why some couples get along and others don't? And that friction and that, that sense of disconnect that you see a lot of people have, it exists because they're not working on their marriage. They're working on some other stuff, maybe their business, maybe their career, and forget that the most important relationship to men is the one with each other. Number 1, don't hold on to grudges. When you go to bed at night, give each other a kiss, have a talk, even if it's in bed or just before, and make sure you get through all of the things that are worrying you. Because we know as things snowball and add up, all the little things start to accumulate, and then all of a sudden it's like a volcano, it explodes, and then you have big misunderstandings, and then you're like, where did that even come from? That was 5 months ago. So make sure you deal with things in a timely manner at the time that they actually happen. Really important. Kiss each other morning and night. Tell each other how much you appreciate each other because a little comment like that can go a long way. And right, quit the daggers. No daggers. Stop throwing daggers out and hurting the person that you love the most, your best friend. Yeah, no, I'm triggering a lot of you now because your partner may not feel like your best friend right now because you are living like roommates. This can be rectified. It can be mended. Absolutely can. So make sure you always sleep in the same bed. All of that, don't hold on to grudges and sleep in the same bed, huge thing. Number 2, weekly dates. You need to hang out with each other. I know many of you have forgotten. I speak to a lot of my clients and they're really successful at work, in their business. Most of them even work together and yet they do not hang out outside of work. You've gotta have boundaries. You have to know when you speak about certain things and when you don't. There has to be a time in the evening, 6 o'clock— you hear my kids playing— 6 o'clock, for example, where you do not talk business. It is couple time. Switch that hat, switch that mode, and go to soften. Hey, soften. And it's a time you don't talk about business. Really important. Genuinely ask each other how you are. That's one of the biggest things. A lot of the time we're all in our head, we have certain issues, maybe at work, maybe with business, maybe with finances and money, and you forget the person standing right beside you. Let me tell you, you've actually forgotten yourself. So the first person you need to give some love to is you. The only way you can love somebody else and be there for them emotionally, mentally, and physically, and spiritually is by working on you. And this is why, oh, you guys have to just sit the last, the love test. You guys have to sit the Love Me Test. Look at the comments, jump to the comments. You have to go right now, pause the video, and sit the Love Me Test. It will show you where your attention should be going and will give you some tips for you to use straight away. And from there, make sure you absolutely do the thing that is recommended. A lot of people tend to not get results because they don't put in the work or they think, "I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it next year." But for you guys, you need weekly dates, you need to hang out with your partner, you need to become best friends again. Bye-bye to roommates, back to basics and back to hanging out and getting to know each other because I can tell you, kids change perspective on things, kids exhaust you, maybe you're more short-fused, maybe you actually haven't had any time out for yourself. That is one of the biggest secrets. Take time out for you and you will absolutely have time to give to your partner and your family. How about that? Now the last thing and most importantly is be open to learning together. It's really difficult when one of the partners is growing and the other one's stuck in their ways. And that's when the rift becomes even bigger. There's a gap in what someone wants out of life and their dreams and their goals and you guys have to talk about it versus what someone else is happy to settle with. You can't have one fit person in a couple. Why does the other person not want to look their best and feel their best and be energized? I don't understand that. So if you don't love yourself enough, you're not going to be able to love somebody else. Alright, so there we have it. The top 3 things to fix the communication in your marriage. Now go and lock in those dates. Go and put them in your calendar. It's what I tell my clients all the time. Put it as a reminder in your calendar every single week. And I personally love even 5, 10 minutes to hang out with Peter, my husband, while the kids are asleep and just debrief. If you don't know your love languages, you need to go and do that, right? And I'll talk about that in the next video. Text me, you'll find the link in the comments below. Can't wait to hear you. I personally text you back.
