Why Appreciation is the Ultimate Relationship Superpower

Why appreciation is the ultimate relationship superpower. Hi, it's Vicky Samios, and today I am sharing a secret weapon that can transform your relationship faster than anything else. You ready for it? Appreciation. It sounds so simple, but most couples massively underuse it, and that's costing them connection, intimacy, and happiness. Now, let me start with a story. I work with a lot of couples, And I worked with Rachel and Tom, and they were stuck in a cycle of criticism and frustration. Every day, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. It felt like a battle of what wasn't working. Neither felt truly seen or valued. Does that sound familiar for you? Now, Rachel then made a choice. Every morning, she told Tom one thing she genuinely appreciated about him. Not grand gestures, just small, sincere acknowledgements. 'Oh, I appreciate how you got the kids ready.' 'Oh, I appreciate how hard you work every day.' 'I love how you make me laugh.' 'Thank you for making my tea this morning.' You know, because we shouldn't expect things. And this simple daily habit actually shifted their entire dynamic. The tension eased, the walls came down, and they started noticing each other again. And passion, connection, and joy began to grow. Course, and you know what? He caught on and he started doing the same. Stop right there if you think appreciation is just a nice to have, you're missing the point. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Apply for mentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. Appreciation is a superpower. It literally changes the chemistry between you and your partner. It's not about ignoring problems, it's about creating a foundation so strong that it can handle anything. And here's why it works. You all know I love neuroscience, and neuroscience shows that gratitude activates the reward centers in our brain. When you express appreciation, you release dopamine and oxytocin, the real feel-good and bonding chemicals. And that's why couples who practice appreciation regularly report feeling closer, happier, and more resilient. Give it a try. So how do you start? Applyformentorship.com is the first step, absolutely, and you'll see the link in the comments below. You need to join. Now, step 1, notice the little things that your partner does every single day. It could be making your lunch, it could be how they listen or how they handle stress or pack up after dinner whatever it is. Step 2: Express gratitude sincerely and specifically. It's not forced. Don't just say, "Thanks." Say, "I appreciate how you stayed calm when the kids were upset today." And step 3: Make it a daily habit. I want you to set a reminder if you have to, and this isn't a one-time thing. It is a lifestyle change. Now, I really want you right now to pause and think What's one thing your partner did recently that you can appreciate? Have you got it? Hold that thought and text them or call them. Pause the video now. Okay, welcome back! I know, while you've been on your phone, you've checked out applyformentorship.com. It's amazing. You know what? There's more of this. I love giving you as much as I can. I need absolutely huge days to to spend with you to give you everything that I know. But in this short video, I want you to take some action. So if you haven't done it, go back and do it, do the activity. Now, waiting for your partner to appreciate you first, that is the trap, and I know you're probably thinking, why should I make the first step? Why shouldn't they make the first step? Because appreciation is a choice that you make. When you lead with appreciation, you actually invite your partner to do the same. And I know it's hard sometimes. Maybe you feel unappreciated or you're stuck in a cycle of criticism, but breaking that cycle starts with you. Do you remember Rachel and Tom? Rachel's choice to lead with appreciation changed everything for her in her marriage. Tom noticed, he started reciprocating, not because he was forced or was told to, or like told, "Hey, these are the rules," but because the energy shifted. And there's a law of reciprocity. You give, and you also get. It's a huge thing. Think about your relationship like a garden. Appreciation is the water and sunlight. Look, kids are the same. You have to nurture them. And they do what they see around you. Without it, plants wither. But with it, they're nourished. Now if you look at how your kids play, And a lot of scientists and those who study kids' psychology can tell you this as well. Look, I read a lot of books. If you haven't read "The Anxious Generation," you absolutely need to. That is a lifesaver for you. If you have kids in this day and age, you will see how dramatically disturbing having phones and social media and iPads and all of that are for your children. Start going back to basics. How did you grow up? I grew up around family, we had barbecues, we communicated, hung out with my cousins, sometimes neighbors, you know, it's so important to get back to the core of who we are. We as humans love to be around each other. We're not made for solitude. That's when your brain takes over, these negative thoughts come in, and your whole physiology changes because you haven't had interaction. And you might be feeling like that in your relationship. You might be feeling so alone, let down, disappointed, and that's a constant cycle of hope and disappointment. Now it's time to get out of that, and you can break it. You don't need your partner to fix anything or fix themselves. That is a fallacy. You have absolute power to shift the dynamics in your relationship. Your kids are watching, and they deserve to have the best parents. I'm so fortunate my parents are married. Still married. I am now 43, so 44 years married, they're nearly at 45. Who did you model your relationship after? And that's another question I want you to ask yourself today. Who did you model love after? What does safety mean to you? Me, I was so lucky I saw my parents hold hands, kiss each other, be in love. They had their problems Of course, they work through them. Do you think being married for 45 years has no problems? You are living under a rock if that's what you believe. Problems are a part of life and we have to normalize them. It's how you get through them with the people you love around you and the support and the mentors. I've got a lot of mentors as well to get you out of that rut. Now, speaking of mentors, I once heard one of my coaches say, say appreciation is the glue that holds relationships together, and it is true. The more you appreciate each other, the more valued someone feels, the happier the environment. Then wow, they do the same thing to you. Your kids learn. The whole household becomes a place where everyone is valued. And I know there are times when you feel you're holding the weight of the whole house hold and your relationship on your shoulders. Time to shed that, and time for you to add appreciation into your daily routine. So I want you to grab your phone for another time, and like, again, grab your phone again, put it in your calendar. Do that now. Stop the video, and that is your task. And then you're going to actually do it. So don't just ignore the reminder. It's not a reminder to ignore. It's It's not like a ping, oh, whatever. It is for you to take action on it. So when you feel appreciated, how do you show up? You show up differently. So that's what your partner's gonna do, your husband, your wife. You're more patient, more loving, more present, and so will they. And you will see your kids will start to mimic it as well. Like my kids have Beanie Boos, so many Beanie Boos. And they play role play. And they role play parents, they role play siblings, friends. What they see at school, at home, they role play everything. And sometimes we are shocked or dumbfounded when they role play and they're screaming at each other and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I need to change." So put guilt aside today, I want you to tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them right now. Do not wait. I know I'm nudging you, I really am, 'cause I know some of you will watch this and won't do it. I also want those who are ready to comment "I'm in" in the comments, and make appreciation your superpower in your relationship. If this message hits home, smash that like button, I really mean it, like passion, lots of passion, subscribe and share it with someone who needs this because in the next videos we are diving into one question that can save your relationship and you don't wanna miss it. Thanks for being here, keep appreciating love, own it, live it, live your full life. Let's do it!