Vicky Samios argues that change doesn't require more time, just awareness and action. She shares stories from dentistry, marriage, and motherhood to show how self-criticism and waiting for the right moment keep people stuck. The antidote: decide now and build habits like daily gym sessions that reinforce self-love.
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Your mind is one of the most powerful tools you have, and you don't even realize it. You're just sitting there saying, "I'm stuck, I'm so stuck, I'm stuck in my life, I don't know what to do, I'm so blocked, I'm burnt out, I'm this, I'm that," and you don't know that the first step to actually making change is you realizing that you need to change. If you're already there, that's brilliant. You needing to change is awareness. That's what I call awareness. And that awareness is then so important to act on. So once you have awareness that you need to change something in your life, and usually it has to do with you. For me, I didn't realize that I didn't love myself. I actually hated myself for my choices, my decisions, for all of the hard work I put myself through. My body was telling me everything. Carpal tunnel, ooh, guess what? As soon as I stopped clinical dentistry and I made that decision, that stopped. And you think, hey, but you're on the computer a lot. I've got all the little pads and things to protect my wrist. Let's get back to the point. So right now, what you need to know is that you are in control of much more than you realize. You can change your life so quickly, and it's done by making some decisions. And where a lot of people fail is they deliberate. They're deliberating over, should I, shouldn't I? It's like this pendulum swinging constantly, and this happens for months. For years and maybe decades, and maybe you just get so comfortable because our brain is designed to keep us safe. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. We are in constant fight or flight mode. That's just the way it is. Our brains are quite primitive, and our emotional system is what controls everything. So our thoughts, control our emotions, our emotions then control our actions or inactions, and then we continue in this vicious cycle of being stuck. You know, I was stuck for a very long time as a successful dentist. I had started 3 practices and I thought, oh, maybe I need to change. So I had met my husband in my first practice. I was working there already and had set it up. I was so damn lonely, I was dating the wrong people, and then he came along, we were at a debutante ball, and he was late, him and his sister arrived, didn't know he even existed, and he was sitting opposite me, they had to bring in two chairs onto the table, and slowly, slowly, he made his way next to me through the night, and then the rest is history. And my husband's 5 years younger, so to all the women out there, like, do not look at age, and also, I was in my early 30s, and I had a business, and you'd think, wow, she's so successful, looking at me on the outside. But my personal life sucked. And you know, a lot of married people and people in big, long relationships still have a really sucky relationship. And this is where I'm here to help you. This is where it is my forte to help identify how to get yourself out of this sucky relationship and how to get yourself loving yourself again. And something that Tony Robbins says all the time is, you gotta be careful who you choose. And it's not who you choose as a partner, it's who you choose to be in that relationship. And I want that to really be set in stone for you. Who do you choose to be right now in your relationship? Are you yourself, for starters? Are parts activated inside you that bring out the best in you? Or do you guys need to sit and talk? Do you need to sit and have that awareness about your relationship? 'Cause you might be aware, you might be realizing you're drifting, drifting, drifting, drifting slowly, and awareness is not enough, I can tell you. You can be aware for years and years and years and do nothing about it. Do nothing about your physique, do nothing about your fitness, do nothing about you loving yourself or hating yourself, do nothing about the problems in your life, and then they just keep compounding, and it's like I tell all my amazing community and clients, I'm like, it's like putting them under the rug, and I just imagine it's a massive Persian rug, and the rug's getting bigger and bigger like a mountain. Is that you? Is that your life? Now, if this has hit home so far, I want you to text me right now on WhatsApp or DM me if you're watching this somewhere else. Text or DM +61 433 546 016. That is the number, and let's get talking because you're only as stuck as you choose to be. Now, right back into it, back to our relationships, back to our awareness, Now, with you, what's your relationship with you? Because I can tell you that's where you need to start. As I said, I hated myself for so long, and the hate grew more and more and more. And that's a big word, hate is a big word. I don't like using the word hate. I don't like my kids using the word hate. But I really hated myself. I hated myself for putting myself in the same predicament, in the same problems over and over again, because I had a skill. And I had also learnt many other skills. But I had stuck with the sure thing. And I can tell you, I'm not saying leave your jobs right now, but I'm saying consider what life would look like if the sure thing wasn't the thing you're meant to be doing. And if that sure relationship isn't how it's meant to be, maybe it could be better. I know it can be better. I've been married for 10 years now, over 10 years, and we've had our ups and downs with Peter. I've got 3 kids, they're all school age now. Kindy, year 1, year 3. And life is as hectic as ever. Some days I drop the ball, absolutely. But what I don't drop the ball on is going to the gym. I've literally come back from the gym, like, look, I'm in my gym gear. And yes, I go to the gym with my makeup now. Yes, I just wear really light makeup because I feel good. And my hair's always done. I tied it back because I had to do cycling and I had to do my elliptical. And weights, I don't wanna get caught in weights. Where are you not taking care of yourself and where have you completely abandoned every single thing that you want and wish for and deserve? That's where the problem lies because you can't expect other people to treat you well if you don't treat yourself well. Look, I was teaching people that and I thought I had embodied it, but then I woke up. I woke up and realized it wasn't to the level that I needed. And you might be thinking, "Oh, I take care of myself. I go to Pilates once a week. I do this, I do that." Yeah, I do my hair once a week, or I go to the hairdresser once a week. That's not it. It's all this self-talk and things that you're prepared to do even when you don't feel like it. And that is the secret to living a happy life. That is the secret to being happy within yourself and to getting unstuck. Doing things on the days that you really don't feel like it. All right, if this has landed with all of you, you all know what to do. Text Mentor to +61 433 546 016. Do that now. Pause the video, get your phone out, WhatsApp me, and if you're on my socials, DM me Mentor, and I will absolutely get back to you.
