Why Most People Pick the Wrong Mentor

I don't know if you know this about me, but I've been a business owner for 15 years now, and it's been a journey. I've owned 3 different practices, and I did it alone from the beginning. I made a lot of mistakes. I learned lots about leadership and lots about what it takes, the resilience it takes, the sacrifice it takes, and the, the energy it takes out of you to create a business, to grow a business, to find your team, to grow your team, to create leaders. When you have this idea of opening a business, of starting a business or buying one, you have so much energy, so much excitement. Sometimes you'll overlook some facts. You won't even see how hard it is. The mountain doesn't even appear in front of you and you just keep going step by step by step. I think I was quite blind in the beginning. I was very blind. I was kind of pushed or urged into practice ownership. Was I ready? No. I don't think you're ever ready. Would I do it differently now? Absolutely, and I'll let you know in a moment. So I was in my late 20s when I started my first dental practice, and it was in my parents' building. I did pay rent, absolutely. And the opportunity was there because the tenants had moved out and my parents needed a tenant. Let's just call a spade a spade. And their daughter was just finishing her dental practice, her dental degree. And so that was me. And being the eldest, I listened, and I knew at the time it wasn't the right thing for me. And the hardest thing for me was to say No to my parents. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. So I didn't even say yes. I didn't. I was literally overseas and I got a phone call at 3 in the morning. My mom's like, are we knocking down this wall? Because she had two conjoined shops and they were separated by a wall. Are we putting a doorway in this, in this building? Are you setting up your practice? And I was cornered. Okay. She had the builders there. Everyone was there ready to go. So I really, even if I'd said no, would have still gone gone ahead because they were so desperate at the time to fill the space. And yes, it was in a beautiful part of the world. It had a park opposite and it seemed like a dream business that my parents were, were really supportive of. I took the loans out. Yes, I had them as guarantors. That's how you can start a business. You can start with nothing, or if someone believes in you enough or believes in a mission enough, then they will support you. But the thing is, I didn't want that mission, but I did it. I'm super grateful it happened because that's how I've crafted my life from there on, and it has led me on certain paths. I knew personally I needed more experience in a really great practice. I was working in a couple of practices, and look, I wasn't great. I wasn't a great dentist at the time. I made mistakes. I went and learned things. And as you are, like, you're as a new grad, you do not know as much as you think you know. And then you get into the real world and you're like, oh, I haven't seen this before, or this didn't work out the way that I had practiced on the mannequin or in the hospital. And that's just the reality. So I signed up to a whole heap of CPD courses. I even had to— I had bubbles in my fillings, and I even had to go and learn basics of composites because we learned on amalgams, and then we did some composites and were expected to do composites, which are the white fillings, on people when we had done a handful of them. And even a handful of crown and bridge work. But I was lucky my dad was a dental technician, so I had a lot of that knowledge base for dentures, for crown and bridge work, all down packed, and I really loved it. Now, was I ready to own a practice? No. Is it something I regret? I think if I had my time again, I would have definitely put my foot down and said, I'm not ready, this isn't the right time. Great opportunity, wrong time. Okay? And he might be like that for you as well. You might be in a practice or you might think, I can do it better than my boss. Well, let me tell you, if you're an associate, you have no freaking idea what it's like to own a practice. You live and breathe it day in, day out. Look, is it bad? No, it's not all bad because I wouldn't have done it another 2 times. But is there a better way to do things? Yes. I wish I had a mentor. That's my first lesson. I wish I had a mentor in business. And so fast forward, second practice, Peter and I had met. And I don't know if you watched the other video, you got to watch the video where I tell you how we met at a ball and we set up our second practice, well I did because he was still working his radio career. He was really talented, still is, emceeing things, he was content director. However, it was 140 Ks away from where I was, which made life really hard, which meant our relationship struggled. And this is the problem that many people face. You'll be successful in business, but you're your life sucks. Your relationships are not where they should be because you put all your energy into the business. I was making that mistake from my first practice where I thought I was dating, but I actually didn't have time to date. When I said yes to people, it was like when I had enough and I dated the wrong people, gave the wrong people opportunity. I kind of thought, "Oh, this is who's in front of me. It's meant to be." It wasn't. They were all lessons to lead me to having the best relationship and finding Peter, who I was meant to be with, my soulmate. So second practice, doing that. And then we got married after we had set it up. We had moved, I know, whoo, big, big, big shock, shock, shock, shock. We moved away. Do you know what people told Peter? They said, 'cause Peter moved within 2 weeks of us making the decision, Peter moved to Dubbo and I had to help him find his apartment. It was the worst apartment. The most desolate, deathly, ugliest building. I don't even know how he survived. And looking back, I'm like, that was a shithole, just to put it nicely. And we had to go and buy furniture from Fantastic Furniture, whatever was in Dubbo, or Freedom, or what, I think it was Fantastic Furniture, put it together and it was the ugliest, darkest thing. And for Peter, that was his first time outside of home. Peter had moved, I was in the process of trying to wrap up and sell the business, also trying to keep a business functional and working, but I had checked out emotionally. I was ready for the next step. I think the hardest phase of any business owner is that checkout time, that transition time when you are ready to move on, but things are just not happening quite quickly enough. I'm in that position right now where I, from last year in February, just nearly a year ago, under a year ago, I decided, "Hey, I want a different life." And for me, it meant letting go of clinical dentistry because I realized as I was in the chair, I didn't want to be there. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. Not because I hated it. I had just outgrown that version of me and the life of sacrificing and rocking up every day. And it wasn't the first time that it had happened. It was actually a process. If I look back, I had the clues and the signs all along the way. And I think even from the moment before we opened our third practice, and this one we did together, I knew it wasn't the right thing for us, but I did it because it was a sure thing. It was the way I knew how to make money. It's what I'd done twice before, and I knew I could make it work. 'Cause we'd set up a really awesome rural practice, and against all odds, through a drought of 5 years, Through being told you'll never sell, the buyers came knocking at our door because we had absolutely demolished the competition in our town. Now, they wanted monopoly. I'm like, I'm having a third kid, perfect timing, and no, I'm not working in the practice. And so that was another challenge. So we had to negotiate on price because I wasn't going to be there. I'm like, what's $50K, Peter? $50K is my freedom. And then look at me, I went and did it again because that's what I knew. So this dream life we have, we think it's gonna go one way and we think it's with our current skills. We are just so close-minded a lot of the time. And it was then at that point in 2020, COVID hit. I saw what real freedom looked like where I didn't have to worry about a business. I didn't have to worry about anything other than, hey, what do I wanna learn? And we were in a small town, so the lockdowns that we had were absolutely brilliant for us. Not like we saw anyone, But we got to go to the national parks, we got to put our kids through running water and streams and have a beautiful few months. But we did celebrate my son's first birthday via Zoom. Okay, different times. Right now, I want to set myself up to have a different life. And that's what Peter and I have been working towards. For me right now with 3 kids, I'm not gonna go and bungee jump. I don't want to hurt myself and pull a muscle or do something like that. It does not— it's not something I want. Whereas in the past I would have, I would have pre-kids. Kids change everything. My perception of life and the life I want to give my children has completely changed as well. The first person I needed to change was me and my mentor, Andy Elliot. I remember seeing him on Funnel Hacking Live back a year ago, nearly exactly. I didn't know who Andy and Jackie were and I didn't know I wanted them in my life at the time. I saw Andy and Jackie on stage, my eyes were just like wide open. I'm like, wow, there's a different life waiting for me beyond the amazing life that I have with practices and all, serving people and helping them. I can do life differently. When I saw him on stage, he said, and this one has stuck with me for ages, no matter how successful you are in a business, if your personal life basically stinks, and that's the point when I realized, yeah, my personal life stinks because I'm not living the way I want, then you're not going to be successful. That's not success. And some people would argue, and I don't care, you might be watching this going, hey, but hey, if I have money, I'm happy. You know what? Money does not make you happy. You have to be happy outside of the 9 to 5, and that's the most important time. So what are you doing outside of that time? How are you enriching your knowledge? What steps are you taking towards that maybe that little inkling that you have to go, hey, I want a different life. Right now I'm taking some massive and immediate steps and actions to change my life and my kids' future. And it takes a lot of courage. If you need to borrow courage, borrow from me, rub it off from me. Look, let's stop the video right here. I know, I know I'm not for everyone, but I know if this is ringing some truth bells for you and you're like, ding-a-ling-ling, oh my goodness, I need to find out more and I really need to tell someone what I'm going through, I'm your person. I want you to text Mentor to +61 433 546 016. Make sure that you have your phone on standby because I'll be messaging you back. Look, if you message me at midnight and I'm in Australia, I'm in Sydney, Australia right now, then I may reply some hours later. It is me, right? It is me replying. Make sure that you are doing everything in your power to change this life. Yes, as I said earlier, A mentor is what changed everything for me. So at that point is when I realized I needed a mentor. Let's get back to the video. Mentors, mentors change everything. Back in 2023, I was in the thick of my business, in my third business. And look, I'm fast forwarding a lot, but I'm going to tell you all my story. If you hang around me enough, you're going to know my story. 2023, I thought I needed a business mentor. So I went along to a summit for entrepreneurs and I took my mum along and I'm like, "Peter, we need to sign up." So Peter, I signed up to the next program. I think I spent like $7,000 or $8,000. Peter came along with me, took time off work, had the kids minded, picked up from school, like it was difficult, okay? The first time you do anything, it is challenging. And that's when my eyes opened even more. Going through that for a year, I learnt a lot, I learnt a lot about myself and I learnt Peter and I better as a team as well. I also learnt that I didn't need a business mentor. I needed a mentor to help me fix me. I didn't realise I needed fixing, but I did. We all have pains, we all have traumas, we all have things we're working towards and working against as well. You don't realise the other things that are dragging you back with these invisible strings Some people call them leashes. I call them invisible strings. And it's these ties, these strings, or it's like having a collar around your neck that are what hold you back from the true life you are meant to be living and from the true version of you that you're meant to be. If you've been watching my evolution, you can see my life change in real time. And so if you're watching this, you're seeing real time what's going on right now. Right now my kids are at school, Peter and I are here and we are strategizing, it's a business working day, and we're also here making big decisions and making steps towards changing our life. Soon enough you're gonna see this background change heaps, because we are in control of our life and I want you to realize you're in control of your life. If you want help to be in control of your life, I'm here for you. You know what to do. Text Mentor to +61 433 546016. You'll find the link in the comments below, and let's get talking, okay? We're real people. We're here to help you. We've done it before. 15 years in business, a mum to 8-year-old, 6-year-old, and 5-year-old. Like, we're in the thick of it, but we've got it all together.