Your Next Level Requires Reinventing These 3 Things

We are talking about clean living today, habits, skills, and science. So this here is Lilianfelds. It is in the Blue Mountains, one of my favorite places to go to with family as well. It's got a really nice indoor pool. It's got a spa. It's got a billiard room where the kids can even go on a computer. My husband usually disappears there with the kids while I go have my spa treatment. And then there's lots of beautiful grounds to walk around. And then even across from where the parking ends, there's a gorgeous 5-star restaurant as well. Called Echoes, which is really delicious. The last time I went, it was lots— very quiet, very prim and proper, and I was with 3 of my girlfriends. There's nice piano playing, it's really old school, nice old school bar. Takes you to another world, it's beautiful, and not too far from Sydney, so I'd recommend going there. But we're going to talk about this now with regards to clean living, and I want you to imagine you're at the entryway of that beautiful maze. So you can see where the maze is and that for you symbolizes clean living, which is forming your habits, right? So you're at the start, and it looks really clean there. It looks really nice, nice and structured. And you've got the lovely intricate mazes there that represent your skill building. So even let's say you're a kid walking through the maze, you can't see too far above. You've got to navigate your way through. And then we've got the fountain in the center, which reflects the neuroscience of goal victory. So you're there, and that is the shining prize at the end. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. And every flower, every shrub, every tree has a story. So exploring that garden, what secrets will you uncover in it? This is what this transformation's about, going through the maze and figuring out what your next path is lead you to your ultimate destination. So the first thing we're going to talk about is habits. So the garden's pathways, they're the habits. So they will guide you. That's what structures your day, things you do every day. And some are good habits, some are habits that really don't help us very much. And just like the pathways in the garden, habits guide our daily journey. So they come in the form of small decisions, then they grow into repeated actions. So you might decide to change one thing today, and then it becomes your norm. The more you do it, it eventually becomes a well-trodden path that you just instinctively follow. So let's say you go through this maze, your habit, do it once, might be a bit tricky, but you find your way to your fountain. Then you do it again, you try another path, and you get there again. And then you're like, I can do this with my eyes closed, because you've formed that memory, you've formed that connection within you. So remember when you first started walking? Probably not, but let's say you had an injury and you've got to learn to walk again as well. Each step is deliberate to get you to your mum, your parent, get you to food, to a toy, get you to go up the stairs if you've just had surgery, for example. And she taught me one thing, resilience, my mum. And that's the beauty of habits. They become automatic and they become part of your real life and part of every day. And then you build on those habits, so you add something else to them. So from now on, I just want you to be mindful of the paths that you tread and the decisions that you make, and to recognize the cues that guide you. So by doing something, let's say you go home, I've been guilty of that in the evenings, having some chips at night, sitting at the TV. I love chips. And I think, well, how does that serve me? What benefit does it have? I actually feel like crap afterwards when I know I shouldn't have eaten the chips, especially so late at night. And then if you're not mindful of this habit that doesn't really contribute to your health at all, then you're gonna add a glass of wine or some other drink or a chocolate or something at the same time and it can just compound. The cue to recognize is why you do certain things. So it's good to just stop before you go and do what you've always done. Why do you go for your walk in the morning? Doesn't make you feel better. Why do you get out of bed late in the morning? Because you don't want to go to work. So what do you need to change? Your job, your profession, your work hours? What is it that you need to change? Because Noting these things down and keeping a little diary or writing down what you eat, what you do, it depends what you're focusing on as well. So if you want to live more healthy and have clean living, absolutely. What does clean living mean to you? And I want you also to listen to the surrounds, your body. So when you're walking in that maze, for me, I love walking in that particular maze, and I'll stop so you can see my face now. I'll keep it there for a little bit longer. That maze there, I just tuned into all the sounds of the birds, the trees, and all the fog was very mystical. So it made me wonder and go beyond that maze and see what was ahead of that garden, what was on the other side. And I'm always curious, I like to investigate. So that's how I want— I would love for you to be in your life, and it's ultimately what you would want, right? To know how to set more boundaries and how to have new habits that allow you to feel better, to perform better. And this is what Leading Dental Woman is. It's about optimal performance. And then we also look at your skills. So that's the second part we look at. The intricate mazes that we look at, just like this one at Lilian Fels. Navigating through the maze requires skill. Well, maybe not for this particular one, but let's say you're in this big maze or the Amazing Race or something where you had something that was very tricky and challenging, um, just like your first day in your career in dentistry or in, um, business ownership or being a mom or navigating being an adult, um, or your first holiday away on your own, navigating that. Once you master all those turns and twists, what was once a challenge then becomes an exciting routine that you then grow upon. So it's about getting into that new comfort zone that we talk about. And then we extend beyond that comfort zone to do lots of learning. To— if you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. Make that comfort zone even bigger. So then we get into that learning zone where we're a little bit uncomfortable again. So remember as well, when you rode your bike, when you learned to drive was really tricky in the start. I never mastered manual. I never went to manual driving school, but I never want— I don't care to learn. I know the basics. I can start a car, I can move it, but don't ask me to drive it around the corner. For me, it's just one skill that I'm happy to go without. The balance, the pedals, the brakes, all still feels overwhelming for me for a manual car. Automatic, can do with my eyes closed. I guess my energy is taken up by many other things. But with persistence, if I really wanted to learn that, I could learn that. And that's the same with any habit. And then it transforms into a nice cheerful ride where you can then drive longer, drive on a freeway where you're not scared, where you can then get the reward at the end and go to a beautiful destination, or do some trekking in the bush, or some sand duning if you've got a 4WD, if that's your thing, or then learn other vehicles. So the journey in Leading Dental Woman is very similar. You'll be acquiring many new skills along the way and self-awareness, that is big. By embracing the complexity and practicing daily, it becomes easier and easier. So you might be like, oh my gosh, how do I add in affirmations every day? How am I gonna be journaling every day? How am I going to practice gratitude every day? It's about being organized. And just follow, follow the process, trust the process. Do as much as you can, that's all you can ask yourself. And some days you may need more gratitude, some days you may need more journal writing. Feel the transformations that come from your challenges because yes, it does require hard work, what doesn't? You haven't gotten to where you are now without hard work, but then they become really fun, happy rituals that you will do without even realizing, and they're going to enhance you on every level— your relationships, the way your brain works, the way you feel. So recently for me, I— so long, a couple of months ago, I did a hair tissue analysis. I was curious. Not a lot of studies into it. Then I did it with another company and one of my friends who's a coach as well, who is an integrative health practitioner. And for me, it then gave me the kick up the bum to take vitamins and eat better. So I'm eating better, I feel better. I now go on my walks in the morning. So really, really important to do whatever it takes for you, and that's what you're here for. Like you, I need a little kick up the bum sometimes, or I need proofs. As scientists, we need proof. We need to see things that are going to work, and I know that this system works. I mean, it was interesting what just reminded me of the results I got. I had high mercury higher than what was acceptable and definitely occupational. The other one was bismuth and I think composites have bismuth. So they're the two things that showed up in my hair and the hair shows a 5 centimeter amount which I cut is the last 3, 3 and a half months of what my body's doing. So it's different to a blood test and yes, not heaps and heaps of studies so obviously I take it into account with the blood test but I just found it really interesting that I had those high elements in my body. So yeah, it's got me questioning, is it worth it exposing ourselves? And what is our body actually being exposed to in our industry as well? So there's just a bit of curiosity there. And then because we're all about neuroscience as well, going into the neuroscience of goal achievement, and we have our journeys with those, our lessons in here in Leading Dental Woman. So that's the garden's fountains. That's the goal. That's the prize that we're looking for. We have many of those. You can have many fountains. So in your garden, fountains are those mesmerizing centers of attraction, and they're where you always lead to, right? You're always going to go to the fountain, the water, the sound of the water. Just beautiful. It's your destination so that you can progress to the next level, because we're all about levels, going to the next level. And by being here, you're already a level above, or many levels above. If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. Um, the general population, because you've got that awareness that you need to work on yourself in order for everything else to fall into place, and you have that power to write your narrative in your life, and it's up to you what level of success that you want to achieve as well. So just like the fountains, the intricate designs, the clear streams, our goals have an underlying structure, the how, and a compelling vision, the why. So everything you do has a how and a why. Why do you do certain things? And then you figure out how to do it, or you get some guidance on how to do it. And that's the goal representation. And then we have the goal pursuit. That's when you go for it. You go, look, I've got my strategy. I'm going to go for it. So the streams, for example, in the fountain can be serene, can be forceful, depending on how big the fountain is. So if you look at the Fountain of Trevi in Italy, in Rome, forceful water, big fountain, big goals. Much like strategies, they can be clear or need refinement, and they might need more detail. They might need breaking up into smaller steps, and that's what we do here. We have our ultimate goals and then we bring them down into attainable goals because even a 1% change every day will give you huge ripple effect and change in your life. And I know from experience, absolutely. Goal motivation is the next thing. The fountain allures you, right? It's design, it's purpose. And just like your heart of your goals, within there lies the why. So why do you do things? There's always a purpose. So we've got the how, we've got the why, and then we really focus on that why. So why do you want to achieve certain things? What is your ultimate goal? So there's a lot of deep questions here, and we are totally going to get into them. Within all the lessons. If you've gone ahead, you've probably seen some of them. So goal setting, habit formation, breaking down your vision, getting that vision board— they're all things that we do here. And journeying deep into the structure and your purpose will all allow your streams to flow. We're all about flow and having harmony in your life. And yes, there will be hurdles, there will be little stumble blocks but they are your learning experiences, and there might be some concepts that you might need some extra support in. So please reach out in our private group and also reach out in these conversations we have in our mentoring sessions. That's basically what these are— coaching mentoring sessions every week. And I'm here to keep you accountable, and I get it, things get in the way. We're very realistic here, and I want you to be realistic with yourself. So Don't set these crazy goals. You already know you're not wanting to do it, you're not going to do it. So feedback, whether it's in the workplace, in your relationships with your kids, with your partners, with family members, with friends, sometimes it's unsolicited or unwarranted and it's not taken very well. And that's when people's emotions heat up. So once you figure the right time and you learn to judge when the right time to give feedback is, or even take feedback, 'Cause look, sometimes when we get feedback, we're not quite prepared for it. You've gotta ask permission of the other person. Would you be okay if I gave you some feedback? So seeking, you will receive. And then we go into your nutrition and your cognitive harmony. So this is where the mental diet comes in. As you know, and we're in the health industry, right? Choosing to nourish your body with unprocessed food, healthy balanced diet, It sounds hard because it is. Limiting alcohol. If you smoke, maybe consider cutting it out. I know it's really hard. Soft drinks. Things that are good for your well-being that bolster your brain. I know for me, I've recently stopped alcohol because I just find that— and look, last night was hard for me because look, it's nice to unwind with my husband and have a glass of wine, but we said no, we've got a new habit in place and We had a tea instead. It was really lovely. I just find that it just interferes with my sleep because it does, even a glass or two. I'm not what I used to be when I was younger. I don't know if you're the same. Cutting that out, I definitely have much more clarity and better sleep, and I'm more present for my kiddies. I don't have anything to escape from really, so I just thought, what is it doing for me? It's more a social thing, and I totally change up now what I do socially, so When you make that decision, you can totally achieve it, but it's important to have the support. So I had my husband on board with me. I said, look, I'm going to do this. I just want to be healthier. I'm 40, I turned 41. I want to be that young, hot mom who has a lot of energy for the kids because I know my mom was 24 when she had me. I was over 10 years older when I had my kids. 10 years is a long time. It's a shift in energy. It's a whole lifetime, and I just don't have the same energy I had when I was in my 30s. And so I need to make my life the best I can. For you, think about what you can cut out. Doesn't have to be dramatic or extreme. It can be slow as well. Jot it down. This is just to get your mind working, because your brain functions better with more sleep, functions better with more playtime, more rest, better health, better food, better nutrition, and better activities that also feed your brain to give you dopamine. So doing things that are for fun— playtime, playtime. We need playtime as well. We forget that, and our kids remind us of it. If you've got kids, they remind you of a lot of the time. And what this also allows you to do is have better goal visualization and to more efficiently absorb new skills because you have more clarity, your brain works better. So take those vitamins. So now I've got literally like 10 bottles of vitamins to I take from that hair sample analysis 3 times a day. I still miss a few doses. I think, oh, I forgot. I think I'm just gonna get one of those Webster packs, the little boxes, and pack it every week and it's ready to go. Because I am motivated to improve my life. And look, your body will expel what it doesn't need, so that's the beauty about vitamins. And I'm also eating much better. So you can do it too. If you need help, let me know. If you need more support, let me know. I'm also a pharmacist, as you know, so I'm very much into counseling. It's just part of my DNA now, what I do, and I have a very broad— If you're waiting for the right time, the right time is now. Applyformentorship.com. Now let's get back to the video. Knowledge base with health as well. Then the next thing, and we're nearly there, we've got 3 more points, is communication's habitual depth. So communication is really important, and we're all about refining that and being open. And the first bit of communication is being honest and open with yourself. It's a conscious skill. It's about not dulling your emotions and actually feeling, because once you acknowledge the emotions, then you can get through them. Then they don't fester and cause bigger fountains and bigger problems and bigger explosions like a volcano. Engage in meaningful conversations. Do not be a recluse. So I know the times when I worked really, really hard and all I did was have home, work, home, work, cooking. I felt like a blob. I felt like a robot. And it was going against every part of my body, every bone, every cell, my heart, my gut, you name it. I felt isolated, yet I had my partner, I had my babies. I just— and I'm not one to call my friends all the time, that's just not me. But if that's you and you're missing that, Have that human connection. Have those meaningful connections. And this is what these talks are all about. Every week, this is us coming together and just being real, being really real, and also learning to lead our lives and others' lives with confidence. So engage in whatever meaningful activity it is that you like that interacts with others, with the people that love you, that you love, with new people if you like meeting new people. Call your mother, your brother, your sister, your father, your best friend. Reconnect. And you'll see how much better you feel because we as humans are designed to be with people. Being in a tribe, belonging, feeling important, being heard, they're all really big things. And I want you to have that skill that flourishes. So if you're a practice owner, for example, check in with your team. I don't organize private meetings all the time. I'm like, "Hey guys, how you going?" Every morning huddle. I genuinely want to know how my team is. So morning huddles are huge, huge for me, and I don't miss them. Even if I'm not working, I'll be on my phone. Carve out the time to be with your kids. Carve out the time to call or be with family members and friends, with your partner, 'cause I know for me, and I'll be really honest, When I work really hard, I'm not interested in being intimate with my husband. I'm so bloody exhausted. It is so difficult to then bring out that femininity and you just have no more energy left. You're drained from people at work, drained from managing or being a leader if you're in that leadership position, drained from solving problems. Then you come home and then you've got job number 2 where you are a mum if you've got children, or if you've got pets you're caring for them, or other family members who need your attention as well. So other people are taking, taking, taking. Where does that leave you to have pleasure? And so if you can help yourself with carving out time for you— so you need alone time, absolutely, you need alone time to be with yourself, to go for that walk, to get your head clear, to go for that spa treatment, get your nails done. Do what it takes that makes you feel feminine. And tell your partners, tell people what you need from them, 'cause they don't know. They're not gonna guess. They don't know what's going on in here and in here. And I've hit many times in my relationship with my husband where times got tough, it got difficult. Financial strain, you've got new babies, you're not getting sleep. And yet everyone seems to need something from you and you get really touched out. Some nights I'm that and I just jump in the shower. Peter, I've had it. I just need to jump in the shower. Saying that, I also need a lot of time with my family because I've worked so many years. I honestly don't know where the last 8 years have gone. It's been a whirlwind. I've had 3 practices I've sold. So in 2015, I sold my Sydney practice. And at the same time I got married. On my wedding night, that sale came through. And then I was already, I'd already found a place in Koonaburra, a site where I was doing the fit out for my rural practice. So that added a whole depth of challenges in it too. And we were living on site as well. So then we moved into that practice. So that's set up. And then I saw I sold in 2020, and in 2020, just go, I want to own another practice again. What do we want to do? That's when COVID hit. And so I actually had the time to reflect, and that's where my love for coaching came about, purpose. So think about what key moments in your life are there, or are you faced with right now, or have there been that have been pivotal moments for you to take action? To change your next step, to open that next door or doors for you and change your future. And this is what you're doing here. And you will get lots of aha moments. You will get lots of times where you may feel a little bit overwhelmed. Come to me, tell me, please tell me. I want you to flourish and I want you to have that skill to be able to step outside of the overwhelm and to communicate what your needs are, to feel loved, to feel beautiful, because you are. In our scrubs, in our everyday routine, our gym gear, whatever it is, we can get so lost in just doing the same thing every day that we forget to dress up, that we forget that, oh, I actually really like to go out to nice restaurants or a date night with your partner. So make that change and be aware of what your needs are. If you've got your journal or anywhere on a piece of paper, write down what is it that is missing right now in your life that's kind of making you feel a bit yuck, a bit empty, don't know what's going on. And you will, you will know, you will find out what it is if you really ask yourself. You might need to sleep on it as well. And so interesting, our dreams often bring things together because that's when our brain does its repair, our growing, and puts all the stimuli that come to us during the day, all our problems, everything we experience comes together and it comes into us as dreams, sometimes nightmares. I'll have to talk to a dream specialist for those, or a sleep specialist. But there's always just things coming together and making new connections in your mind at night. That's when your body heals itself. Please communicate your needs to me as well, and your— whatever it is you need from— the next one is the evolution of graceful movement. So really important for you to have physical activity, and that's where the mental diet comes in, which also the physical diet and activities, things that give you pleasure as well as nourish your body and your mind, and Stick to it. Have that dedication. Shift whatever you need to shift from a conscious endeavor, which is something— so if you go, "Hey, I'm gonna start going to the gym now once a week," or, "I've got my membership and I haven't been in 3 months. You know what? I'm gonna go this week." Commit to it and you'll see it becomes this beautiful revitalizing habit. And you go, "Why did I even leave it in the first place?" Because life got in the way. Because you let life get in the way. Then I thought, I'm really missing nature, and I reconnected with nature by going for walks around the parks around me. I live near the city, and there's always parks, there's always nature, always something you can see. So I then, I go to Sydney Park every morning. Today I couldn't, and I'm like, I've missed out, 'cause I took my son to school. Even more precious, I absolutely love that. For me, it's really important to spend time doing things that are enjoyable and also keep your mind and your body working. So that physical activity, make that a daily rhythm and your body will love you for it. And you will love it because you'll then realize all the benefits you're getting from it and you'll commit even more to it and add more on or try a new activity or be more adventurous. The other thing which we don't really touch on in dentistry is our spiritual grounding. So I'm not talking religion. It may mean religion for some of you. It's just reconnecting with your soul and with your purpose, things that anchor you to who you are as a genuine person so that you are consciously doing things that you actually want to be doing. You're pursuing goals that you are invested in, because if you're not invested in those, you're not going to do them, you're not going to achieve them. So your purpose has to be clear. And same thing with your habits. They're gonna be soulful habits. They're going to stick only if you're fully committed and if they align with your values. And if you've already done the values exercises, amazing, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, you can totally skip and do them. I find them really, really interesting. I love finding out about myself. So I would love for you every day to designate time, morning, evening, lunchtime, the time that works for you to have those spiritual moments, connect with nature, connect with religion if that's what you wanna connect with, connect with the universe, listen to the secrets, the whispers around you, listen to the world around you. Because we block so much out, we only take in little bits of information at once. And that's really interesting that our perception of an experience— and let's say all of us here were in the same room together experiencing the same thing, we would take completely different experiences out of it based on how we've grown up and what we— our values are and how we see the world. And you can totally switch the way you see the world. And I'd love for you through this journey to see it more positively. With more gratitude because ultimately it comes down to the essence of your why. So why are you here? Why do you want to improve your life? Why do you do certain things, certain habits? Why have you got those? Why do you learn certain skills? And what goal lies beneath all that? So why are you wanting to achieve certain things? What is your why? That is the most powerful thing to learn today because it's not just a reason, it's your compass. So you've got to listen to your body and gauge if you're aligned with something. And if you've never heard that before, it's whether you're all in, all in or all out, all in on a decision, or is something in your body, whether it's something logical or something in your heart going, this doesn't feel right, or your gut's churning, to put it nicely. We've got butterflies. Uh, you need to know your body's your compass, so learn to listen to it. So if it's healthier, if you're putting more energy into it, it will also give back to you because your motivation has to be clear for things. And we need to know, and you need to know, your primary focus that propels you towards achieving your dreams, your goals. That vision board I mentioned earlier Why do you want all that? How you're going to get there is right here. Things will just click into place because you have all the tools that you need to give you every opportunity to move forward. So I know I've put the garden as a lovely metaphor and the maze, because life is a maze. It absolutely is. And every step and every turn lead you to a different direction. You might get roadblocks, and we all have things happening in our life, including me. There are ways to overcome those, and you're learning these as well. You're here to dream and dream big. You're here to have fun, and you're here to be guided by this clean living. So clean living is just like a spring clean, like an overhaul of your life. It's time to think about— this is why you're here— time to think about what makes you happy, what makes you fulfilled. Because we have so many roles that we're juggling in life that we can easily forget ourselves, forget our personality, forget what we want, forget our dreams, and it can get really overwhelming. I want you to see clear skies, get that fog to go, the fog like we saw in the maze at Lilianfelds, because I want you to have an unwavering why. If you know your why, and you might need to sit with that for a little bit, you will know what your next steps will be. Nurture your body. It's about living in the way that feels 100% aligned with all of you, where you know 100% that you're all in.