How to Reframe Mistakes for Self-Love and Growth

Hey guys, welcome back to another day of this daily self-love practice. My name is Vivek George, if you don't know me, and if this is your first time to my channel, welcome! So happy to have you. Every single day we do a new self-love practice because knowing our self-worth and, and building up our self-belief is essential for so many parts of our life. Whether it's professionally or personally or romantically, having an inner knowing that we are worthy, that we are important, helps us see the world so much more positively and helps us connect more deeply. So that's why I make these videos every single day, to try to first off and foremost work on my own self-love and self-belief. I'm along with all of you in this journey. I'm continuing to develop and grow, and I do it to also share with all of you. Because when we come together, when we practice self-love together and share in the comments, and I get feedback and likes and things like that, it helps me know that we are part of something much bigger and that you're part of something much bigger. Cool. So today's practice is a little bit about reframing. It's about thinking about situations in the past where maybe we over-apologized for something, a very simple mistake, and we can reframe that. Or even if it was something bigger, think about it in a different way, maybe as a lesson learned or an opportunity for growth. I learned this from the author, lawyer, and podcast host Jefferson Fisher. He was talking about how some of us can over-apologize. That's definitely my truth, and I'm guessing that many of you who are watching self-love videos probably have this habit too, maybe over-apologizing. And if that's not your problem, the second part of this practice perhaps will definitely pertain to you as well. So Basically, he was saying is if you over-apologize for simple mistakes, maybe you show up late or you need a little time to think about stuff, maybe you're apologizing way over the top. And he said, why don't you reframe that and think of it as say to that person that you took a little time to think about something, hey, I really appreciate you giving me some extra time to think about this. "Or I really appreciate that you were so patiently waiting." Or, "I'm grateful to you for not getting upset that I took too long." Just sort of reframing instead of saying, "I'm sorry for being late. I'm sorry for overthinking this. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." When we say we're sorry too often, it really lowers our self-esteem. It lowers our self-worth in just subtle ways. By becoming smaller, by constantly apologizing, that our self-esteem is connected to this. And he urges us, no, to try to not make ourselves smaller, but just to reframe it in a more positive way. And people will often appreciate that you say, oh, I'm so grateful that you're so patient, because then they'll think to themselves, oh, I'm actually a very patient person. I'm a very chill person. They'll actually appreciate that framing. And the same goes with mistakes. If things didn't go the way you wanted, or you've had a failure, or, or whatever it is, try to reframe it. Let's try to reframe these things and say, okay, this was actually not a failure. This was an opportunity for growth. This was an opportunity to learn a, a lesson that I needed to learn. It'll help me in the future, whether it's in a relationship, maybe it's a business venture, Or maybe it's something very simple in your day-to-day life. And for some of you, these reframings might think, oh, this is fake, this is not real, I really messed it up, I really screwed it up. I'm like that too. I've been like that. But what I've learned also is there's infinite number of perspectives on any situation. There's no 100% right perspective. There's so many different ways to look at life, and it's up to us to choose how we want to look at it. Yes, it's important to learn and grow, but do we have to really beat ourselves up to do that? I don't think so. And so that's what this practice is about. It's about reframing these situations, whether it's, you know, small little mistakes or something bigger that didn't go the way you'd hoped. And trying to see it from a different perspective. So what we're going to do is for 3 minutes, we're going to just take a little bit of time to think about some things in our life that didn't go the way we had hoped. First, we're going to start off with some smaller things, and then maybe think about some bigger things. You can write it down or just reflect, whatever is easier for you. And then we're going to do— after that, we'll wrap up and call it a day for our self-love practice. This week we're reframing what, like I was sure just sharing when, uh, Jefferson was sharing about these constant small apologies and how they lower our self-esteem. As we do the opposite and we reframe it and look at it as an opportunity for growth, that we took a risk and we grew, or that we, you know, didn't apologize in an unnecessary way, which would have lowered our self-esteem. We actually just keep steady, or you even grow in our self-love. Okay, hopefully all that makes sense. Maybe not the most clean explanation, but just like all of you, I'm growing and learning, so I hopefully you will get the essence of this message. Okay, perfect. So we'll get started in a second. Before we do that, just a quick check-in. How's everyone feeling? Me? Feeling good. I'm, uh, there's a little construction that's been happening outside of my apartment, and it was quiet. It was like perfectly quiet for like an hour. I was like, oh great, I can do this, uh, video. And then just as I was wanting to start it, the sounds of the construction begin again. But that's life. Try to make the best of it. Otherwise, I'm feeling good. It's such a beautiful day here in Lisbon. I'm happy. So great. Let's get started up and I'll give a little moment for you to reflect. Awesome. Please leave a comment. Let me know how your check-ins and checkouts go. I'd love to sort of feel how people are entering and leaving these practices. Okay, I'm gonna keep the timer, and maybe a suggestion is for a minute or a minute and a half or so, try to think about small things that you— small mistakes or things that didn't go the way you wanted— and try to imagine reframing it as, as giving gratitude for that person's patience or, uh, understanding. And then think about bigger things where you learn from it. If you want to do all, all your time in one area or the other, that's also fine. So whatever works for you, but just try to find opportunities to reframe the situation in a more healthy way. Awesome. Okay, about a minute 30 left, guys. One minute. Okay, we're gonna wrap up. Okay, cool. Awesome, guys. If you need a little bit more time, feel free to pause the video to keep doing this. But just to give you a little bit of an idea what I did— so for example, I— what started this series of videos was I was in a relationship that wasn't super healthy, and it kind of ended in a not so ideal way initially as I saw it. But now through this reframing, I'm, I'm realizing it, it was, um, like I realized that it was actually an opportunity to learn, to learn that I didn't love myself, and actually opened up this channel for creating these videos. And so, and it helped me realize also that while the breakup was very challenging for me, it, uh, gave me this opportunity to realize that there was a lot of more work inside that I needed to do around self-love. So that was an interesting reframing. Also, it helped me realize that I was more lonely and I was seeking stability, uh, that that relationship was not providing. I also am a little bit late to some of my calls, and I saw an opportunity instead of apologizing to tell these people that I appreciate their patience, that they are very patient people. So a little bit of some examples of some of the reframings that I was doing that I think are healthier. Awesome, guys. Hopefully this was a good practice for you and something that you can carry on day to day, because I'm sure we all are going to make mistakes or show up late or do things that— small things that we would normally apologize, but maybe there's an opportunity to try to connect in that situation in a more positive attitude. Great. So let's do a quick checkout and then we'll wrap things up. So me, how am I feeling? Yeah, this is good. This is a good practice. Feeling better about these situations and it'll help me not be the guy who always constantly saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." So yes, this is good. And all of you? Okay, well, thank you guys for joining me for another day in this self-love practice. Remember, self-worth and building our confidence and belief takes time. It's not something you can just switch on. It's a thing that we need to keep on developing like so many other skills. So hopefully you join me again for another practice. And if you're in the mood to continue to practice your self-love right now, check out this video over here. Have a wonderful day, and most importantly, don't forget to love yourself. Take care.