In this monologue, Zee Slingsby outlines a universal framework of four developmental phases (D1‑D4) that any new endeavor—whether a relationship, sport, or business—passes through. Phase D1 is characterized by high will and low skill, driven by excitement. In D2, the initial enthusiasm wanes as the learner confronts the gap between what they know and what they need to learn, resulting in low will and still low skill. D3 sees skill begin to rise as the individual persists through D2; will fluctuates but generally improves, leading to a more competent, self‑directed performer. D4 represents a mature stage where both will and skill are high and stable; setbacks no longer derail consistent effort. Slingsby explains how coaches should adapt their leadership style to each phase: high‑direction, task‑focused guidance in D1 and D2, and collaborative, feedback‑oriented partnership in D3 and D4. He stresses that D2 cannot be skipped; experiencing it builds the resilience needed for later phases, and individuals may move forward or backward depending on life events. The talk concludes with practical advice for coaches to recognize which phase a client is in, provide appropriate direction, and evolve the coaching relationship as the client progresses toward D4.
Chapters
All right guys, what I'm going to talk about right now is something that I cover in every single one of my programs, and this is the 4 phases of anything new that you are going to do, whether it's a brand new relationship, whether it's a sport you wanna take on or a program or a business idea you wanna build. These 4 phases are so important so that you know what to expect as you go through all the emotions of building something and creating something that is going to be a part of your life, hopefully forever. So the very first phase is probably where you're at right now, and that is you are so excited. You have a lot of will, okay? You don't have a lot of skills, so you don't necessarily know everything. You don't really know what you're doing, but that's okay because your excitement is what's making you show up. So you're high, high will, low skill, and that's a great place to be because when you're feeling this way, you are willing to do the work. However, as you do the work, here's what's gonna happen. Eventually you are going to feel like you ran into a wall and all that work is not paying off. And what's gonna happen is all of a sudden you're going to know what you don't know. You're gonna see it. You're gonna go, oh my gosh, I just realized everything that I don't understand. This is super overwhelming. I'm never gonna get to where I wanna be. Now here's what ends up happening. Your skill is still low. You still don't know exactly what you're doing, but now your will plummets. And what happens when you have low will and no skill? You don't wanna do the work. That's why what I study is how to lead people through the 4 phases of what they're doing. Anything new that you embark on, think about a relationship. If you're married with your spouse and you first start dating and you're like, oh my gosh, it's so perfect. I don't know everything about this person, but I'm so excited. It feels amazing. And then all of a sudden, you have your first fight and you're like, oh, it's not perfect, right? And you might have some doubts, but hopefully, right, if it's meant to be and you're meant to be together, you push through that. So the third phase is D3. It's the third level. And in this phase, your skill, because you continue to do the work in D2, because hopefully you have a leader that recognizes this and pushes you to do the work in D2, even though your will is low, You get to D3, and because you're still doing the work, your will starts to waver. It starts to come back up, and your skill starts to improve. You start to learn more things as you do the work. You start to learn, and you start to do better, and your will goes up. You have some moments where you're like, eh, not so good, and it wavers, and you're just kind of up and down. There are certain things in life you are going to be wavering forever. For example, let's take running. I will go out there and run, but I am never going to be a pro. I'm constantly going to be wavering will and wavering skill, right? Like, I'm never going to be, oh my gosh, I'm just— I love to run no matter what. I'm going to push myself. There's a lot of times when I'm doing it, why am I doing this to myself? But then I keep going because it feels good. And so I'm just going to stay here forever. I'm never going to turn into like an Olympian runner. That's just not going to happen. And I don't really care for it to happen. Hopefully in your coaching business you are going to be D4, which is the last phase. That is where your will does not waver. Your skill is high, but even if you run into a wall or you struggle, it doesn't change the fact that you are gonna work your business. You're like, it's a slow month, it doesn't matter. I'm still gonna show up. I'm not gonna quit. I know that I can do this. So it's my job to coach you through here. So this is how to coach someone through these phases. D1 and D2 is very high direction. So in these phases, I'm just gonna tell you what to do. And so when I work with you, it's literally going to be, listen, in D1, you're excited, do boom, boom, boom. And when you're super excited, sometimes you can be squirrel. So I'm gonna keep you really focused and just tell you what to do. D2, it's gonna be hard to do the work. So we are going to be very task-oriented and I'm gonna say accomplish this, this, and this, and you just have to check the box in that phase. D3 and D4 is a lot more of collaborative leadership where, hey, we're going to talk about this. What feels right? What do you want to do here? What's my opinion? What can I help you with? What you tell me what the plan is and I can give you feedback and you rise into D4. Now there are some of you that may join this program and you are looking for someone to coach you through D3 and D4, and that's totally fine. So you've already done some programs, you've created co, uh, courses, you have a coaching business, it's going well, but you're really looking to scale. And so you might choose to work with me in that second phase, which is just you want to share ideas and I give you strategy and feedback, and that's fine. We can start our relationship right there. Okay? Those of you who start brand spanking new, you're going to want to start with me in this phase so that you get that high direction. What I don't wanna happen is that I'm constantly in, I'm constantly leading you through D1 and D2 even when you're up here. So that relationship has to evolve so that eventually instead of me telling you what to do. You might say, hey Zee, I wanna keep working with you, but you don't have to line up tasks. I'm just gonna do the work. I'm looking to launch this new thing. What do you think? What do you think on the strategy? And our relationship evolves because you evolve and you get to the point where you're not here anymore. You're here. Now keep in mind, you can go forward and backward. There are things, if a life change happens, something could set you back, right? But Once you go through D2, you know, you have the skills to get through it. You will be so equipped to continuously go through it. The other thing I wanna mention is that you can't go around D2, you can't go over it. It's important to recognize that you're there. Like, hey, I just recognize that I'm in this place. My will just went down. I, you can tell me, Zee, I'm kind of feeling like I'm in D2, and that's great. I just know that I know how to coach you there, right? If you're self-aware and you know it, that's even better. Chances are I've been doing this for a while. Even if you don't know it, I'll probably figure it out, and that's okay because I will coach you as if you're there, right? And the other thing is going through it is what teaches you the lessons that eventually get you to D4. So when you go through D2 and you experience it and you continue to show up, that's what gets you to D3 and D4. So going through it is important, and I don't want you to be thinking in your head, how do I avoid D2? Don't worry about that. It's okay to go through it. It's okay to have those moments because those are the learning moments that when you do get to D4 and you're in Autopilot in D4 is where the setbacks don't bother me because I know what to do. I've done it before. I know exactly how to keep showing up. I know how to keep working despite having a horrible month or someone quitting or whatever it is. I'm good. I've done this. Okay, so we're not trying to bypass D2 or avoid it. We're just trying to learn how to still show up through it, how to take my direction and let me guide you and lead you through it with high direction leadership so that you can eventually get to this part, which is feels so much better for all of us, right? Like, you want to get to D3 and D4 because it's much more enjoyable than D2. Okay. All right, guys, I hope that is super helpful. I just want you to be self-aware of this process, and you are going to do great.
