Dr. Cara moved from controlling everything to prioritizing connection in leadership. She identifies three traps: tying self-worth to achievements, over-rehearsing to dodge discomfort, and curating authenticity until it becomes fake.
Before we get to that, let me name three traps that sneak up on leaders who haven't learned to navigate this polarity. The Achievement Trap. Thinking that your worth comes from what you've accomplished instead of who you are. You know this one? If you've ever skipped celebrating a big win because you were already thinking, what's next? I have been there. No gold stars equals no confidence. Like I had to keep collecting evidence to feel legitimate approval. Addiction. You rehearse conversations not to be clear but to avoid discomfort or disapproval. If you've ever written an email 11 times and still hit send with your eyes closed, welcome to the club. The Authenticity paradox. You're trying so hard to be effortlessly real that it starts to feel fake because you are curating authenticity, and it. Well, it's exhausting.
