Dr. Cara traces her shift from trying to control everything to realizing that real influence comes through connection. She explores how the drive to prove your worth through work can trap you, and what changes when you stop hustling to feel valuable.
Let me paint you a picture of what hustling for worthiness looked like in my leadership and see if you recognize yourself in this story. I'm in a leadership meeting, presenting a decision I know is right. I have the expertise, I have the knowledge. I've done the analysis. But instead of presenting my recommendation, I start over, explaining, well, I thought about this approach, and then I considered that option. And then I talked to five different people, and here's what person A said and what person B suggested. And I know some of you might think this, but actually. Sound familiar? I was seeking so many opinions that I was diluting my own expertise. I was explaining myself to death because somewhere deep down, I was trying to prove that I deserve to be in that room. And here's the one thing I learned to recognize. There's a feeling that comes with this. For me, it's an eerie, exhausted sensation, like I'm working twice as hard to justify decisions, or I already know. I correct this. Showed up everywhere, taking on too much work to prove my value, staying late to perfect presentations that were already good enough, asking for input I didn't need because I was afraid of looking like I couldn't handle it alone. The crazy part, the more I did, the less confident I appear to others. I was working hard to prove my worth, but I was actually undermining my own authority.
