Dr. Cara presents a brief coaching vignette about handling public challenges in cross-functional meetings. She contrasts a reactive leader (defensive, shuts down conversation, escalates tension) with a regulated leader (curious, self-aware, invites input) and offers example language for the regulated response to de-escalate and learn from pushback.
You're leading a team through organizational change. In a cross functional meeting, someone publicly questions your approach and they are not gentle about it. The reactive leader feels the threat. Immediately they get defensive. They shut down the conversation or they escalate tension. And now they've created a second problem on top of the first, the regulated leader. They receive the challenge with curiosity. What's beneath this pushback? What am I missing? They perceive their own reaction. Am I defensive because they're wrong or because I'm afraid of losing credibility? Then they respond. I hear your concern. Help me understand what you're seeing that I may not. Same situation, completely different outcome.
