I Couldn't Answer the Simplest Question About Myself #performance #mentalhealth

30 Dec 2025 · 1 min

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Dr. Cara (speaker) describes realizing, about six months into "maintaining a facade," that she could not honestly answer the question "How are you really doing?" because performing "fine" for so long had erased her access to her true internal emotional state. She ties this to the burden of constant visibility, arguing it conceals struggles both from others and from oneself.

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I remember a moment about six months into maintaining my own facade, where someone asked me in a casual conversation, how are you really doing? And I couldn't answer it. Not because I didn't want to, but because I genuinely didn't know I had been performing as fine for so long that had lost access to my actual internal emotional state. That's what the burden of constant visibility does. It doesn't just hide your struggles from others, it hides them from yourself.