Dr. Cara teaches a three-step practice for leaders: receive what happens, perceive what matters to your mission, respond only to that. She shows how saying nothing beats arguing when something is outside your control.
You know what I'm not doing today? I'm not arguing with things that I cannot control. Welcome to Worthy Wednesday. And today we are talking about the mindful practice of whatever. This is a fine art of letting go without losing leadership. You gotta know whatever is a strategy. It's not a shrug. Because some people, when they hear this word, whatever, they think it means apathy. Yet real leaders, we know that this whatever, it's not weakness, it is wisdom. It's not dismissing your responsibility, it is deciding where your power lives. When you say whatever with strategy, what you're really saying is, I am not giving my energy to things that do not move the mission. I am not giving my energy to things that I have no control over. This is not quitting, this is calibrating. So what I want you to do is think about how you can receive, perceive and respond to support you when you need to say whatever. We don't want to bypass and we do not want to burn bridges. So we need to really think about how are we receiving the situation, creating space to take it all in. And we need to pay attention to what is actually being said, what is actually happening, and what is being done. Next. We need to really perceive. This is where we need to ask ourselves, am I making assumptions? Am I reacting from fear, ego, or am I people pleasing? Lastly, we respond. And this response needs to do with intention. So we need to understand, hey, is this thing outside of my control? Is it aligned with my mission? When you answer these questions and you can line it up for the outcome that you know needs to be where your energy lies, if it's outside of your control, whatever, if it's not aligned with your mission, you may have to say whatever. But when you say whatever, it's so important that you say it with a full chest and a clear mind because you don't want to have any guilt. Let's be clear, whatever. When you say this and you use this technique, it is not ignoring feedback that challenges your growth. It is not ghosting your responsibility. It is not emotional shutdown disguised as maturity. No, no, no, no. That is bypassing and that is avoidance. The true whatever wisdom. It only works when you've done the inner scan and when you have made a conscious choice not to carry what doesn't belong to you. That is what the whatever strategy is. It is really a way to protect yourself when you do it right. It protects your focus, it protects your emotional bandwidth, it protects your team's momentum, it protects your integrity. Because every time that you give your energy to distractions, drama or doubters, you are subtracting power from your purpose. You see, great leaders, they don't chase chaos, they redirect. And sometimes the most professional thing that you can do as a leader is say, this does not need my energy, so I'm gonna give it the whatever. I'm thinking about a time where I had to place my whatever in action. I not that long ago received an email that was full of passive aggressive heat and guess what? Well, my innate response was to conjure up something that it wasn't going to allow me to lead from the space that I desire. I chose to not hit reply and I hit boom, whatever. And it was a little challenging. At first I said whatever. But it was powerful because it allowed me to tap into my emotional intelligence and to really examine. You know, this is where my receive, perceive and respond came into place. I had to receive what is this really saying and what is really happening and then I had to perceive. So I had to examine my assumptions, any judgment or, you know, what else could be going on because the reality is I have blind spots and I often may be missing something. Then I decided I was going to respond with intention and not reaction. So I hit the whatever. I did come back to it because it was necessary to respond to, but I did not respond to it in the moment and I did not give it the energy that my innate response wanted me to give. So I learned not to carry what was in that email because it really wasn't mine to carry. So I said whatever to that petty email. And I'm going to tell you, I've also said whatever when a meeting went left another time that I've recall saying whatever is when that plan fell through. So you know, it's not because I didn't care, but because I decided that I want to care about the right things and that is what is really in my control. And how do I show up a connected leader? So here is your solution for worthy Wednesdays. When you infuse the whatever strategy. Before you say whatever, make sure you ask yourself, did I receive this clearly? Did I check my perception and is my response aligned with my purpose or just my pride? And if it passes, then you can say whatever. Because peace is not passive, it is powerfully selective. Select. So what's one thing that you're going to say whatever to today and do it intentionally? Drop it in the comments and let's normalize this leadership pivot together. And if this hit, share it with your team or your boss or that one person who really needs to stop replying to everything. I am. Dr. Kara. Connection is the strategy. Peace, it's the priority. I look forward to seeing you next Wednesday.
